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management

Sep 06 2023

Numbers Vs. Culture – Does It Have to Be War?

The Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Episode 248 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management geek Stephanie Goss are deep in conversation after reading a mailbag question from a licensed veterinary technician who work with a hospital that is growing and changing in a lot of WONDERFUL ways! Their team is working together, they are establishing strong standards of care that support their clients and their patients with excellent client service. The team is all in on the changes and growing the practice this way. The problem is there seems to be a disconnect between the team vs. the hospital leaders when it comes to “leading” the team. In their meetings and a lot of interactions with the team, the direction the hospital leaders seem to take is all about numbers & the financial advancement of the business. This is rapidly dividing the team – they already lost a few good people over the hyper focus on the business and numbers and this tech is worried they are walking down a path they can't come back from! This is a great set of questions to discuss – Let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 248 – Numbers Vs. Culture – Does It Have To Be War?

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to role play on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

Are Clients Willing To Wait For It? Making Wait Times Work For You

Are long wait times negatively impacting your veterinary clinic’s client satisfaction and team morale? Discover how to turn wait times into an opportunity to enhance the experiences for everyone in your practice! Join Uncharted's very own Tyler Grogan, CVT in an engaging workshop that combines the fields of operations management and psychology to explore the study of waiting in lines, also known as queue theory. You will dive into the research covering a range of topics including:

  • Common queueing behaviors – what can we let people do more of?
  • Appointment syndrome – what is the sticking point of appointments?
  • David Maister’s Laws of Service
  • The concept of queue rage (and how to avoid it!)
  • The eight factors to consider in the psychology of waiting according to David Maister.

You’ll also interact during practical activities to discuss case examples and develop customized queue management systems that you need in your individual practice right now, with a focus on managing client expectations, effective client communication, team communication, and increasing value through queue experiences.

Get ready to walk away with practical solutions to manage the different ways people wait in veterinary medicine, and tools to start making wait times work for you!

When: September 13, 2023, 8:30-10:30 PM ET/5:30-7:30 PM PT

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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
Hey, everybody! I am Stephanie Goss and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week brings us another letter from the mailbag. We've got an email that came in from a lead technician who is really struggling with finding some middle ground in their role because in their practice they seem to be having some culture issues. They've lost some team, they've maybe had some toxicity happening, and they've really been working hard as a leader within the team to grow and overcome these challenges. And they are really struggling because they feel like the practice leaders and the practice owner and practice manager just want to focus on numbers and metrics and practice growth. They're wondering if it has to be numbers versus culture or if there's any balance to be had here. Let's get into this. And now, the Uncharted Podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark and the one and only Stephanie stuck in the middle with you Goss.

Stephanie Goss:
How's it going, Andy Roark?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh man, it's good. It's really good. Yeah. Summertime, it's hurdling, hurdling towards a close at our house. It is, as we record this, we're coming up in the last week of July. And then I'm doing the fast last family vacation. I'm getting the kids back from camp and then we're heading out of town to go do that. And then we come back and the next Tuesday is the first day of school. We start back early in August here, and then we're into the fall and right back going. And that, man, summer was just a blink of an eye.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, this year seems to be flying by so, so, so fast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, it's scary how fast it's going.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, I am definitely ready for some cooler weather, but I'm not ready to give up the sunshine and the beauty of summer here. So I'm going to soak it up for a few more weeks before we go back to rainy Washington and take all the sunshine we can get. But I feel you, the summer is going by really, really quick. We're at the middle of our summer highlights. We're going to see Taylor Swift tomorrow.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh you are?

Stephanie Goss:
We are.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Wow. That's a big deal.

Stephanie Goss:
It is. I told my kid it is her birthday and Christmas and everything for the next five years.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Oh, man.

Stephanie Goss:
She is very, very excited. So I will be taking a gaggle of gymnasts to Seattle this weekend and there will be lots of Starbucks involved.

Dr. Andy Roark:
It's going to be lots of singing just so you know.

Stephanie Goss:
There's going to be lots of singing.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Lots of excitement.

Stephanie Goss:
Lots of excitement. Lots of glitter and outfits and all of the things. And it's so funny because everybody keeps asking me like, “Oh, do you have your outfit planned?” And I'm like, “No.”

Dr. Andy Roark:
When we went to the AVMA convention in Denver, Taylor Swift was playing there and a hundred thousand people came to Denver for… She had to take two concerts and apparently it's easier to get tickets there. Everywhere you look there was pink and sparkles and glitter and sequence. But at least with Taylor Swift, at least it's like a positive vibe. Everyone seemed to be in a really good mood. It was actually a pretty wonderful thing to be around. I don't know, I was pleasantly surprised. It was really cool.

Stephanie Goss:
This has been weeks on end of excitement in my house and so we are looking forward to that. And then heading into the end of summer, so it's crazy busy, but it is still summer for everybody. And we got a summer crazies related email in the mailbag that I wanted to fish out and put forward sooner rather than later because we got a letter from a lead technician who is struggling with being super overwhelmed in the clinic. I thought it would be a good one for us to talk through. Actually, this was a wonderful, wonderful letter and I read it and I'm like, okay, this is like three, there's like three podcast episodes in here.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, that's a lot.

Stephanie Goss:
But basically, it came from a lead technician and they have had some awesome changes and some challenging changes in their practice over the last couple years. So they have been really working on culture and have made some real improvements and then had some changes with their staffing and actually lost a doctor. So they went from having a couple of doctors down to really being essentially a one doctor practice with some occasional help. And it's gone well because they really like each other as a team and they get along. There have been some significant challenges as they have gotten smaller and summer has hit, so they've got some summertime help, but they've also got everybody taking vacations so they're shorthanded even though they have lost a doctor. And that is causing some significant challenges because this lead tech who used to be doing culture work and having some admin time off the floor and helping lead the team, do interviews, try and hire, all of those things that happen when you are not in role for your entire shift are now on the back burner.
And this tech has stepped back into being in their role and they are struggling because there seems to be some growing disconnect between themselves and the practice owner and the practice manager because the leadership is looking at it and it's like, “We're shorthanded, we're not making our numbers, we're down in revenue.” And the lead technician is like, “Yeah, duh? I know it feels really busy, but we've cut out appointments because we have less doctors, we have less staff, we can't see as many drop-offs, fit ins, all of those things.” So they're looking at it from a place of trying to protect the culture and trying to protect the team. And they are feeling the pinch because they are feeling like the hospital leadership is just looking at it from a spreadsheet perspective and is like, we're not making our numbers. We need to do more and more and more.
And this tech is really worried about the consequences on themselves and on the remaining staff if they only look at the numbers. And ultimately, they were asking some questions at the end about, “Given everything that I have shared, does it sound like I'm just burnt out and being difficult? Or how do I get my head straight really? Because what I want to do is bridge the gap between the team and the practice leadership and I'm feeling like I'm kind of failing at that.” And so there's a lot for us to unpack as we kind of get into it. But I thought it's such a great question and I think this is going to be one of those episodes.
As soon as I read it, I was like, oh, I know that feeling. I've been there where I feel like I'm worried about the team and the culture and the people and the people above me are looking at numbers on a spreadsheet. And you have that disconnect between the numbers and the culture and it really feels like it has to be one or the other. And so I thought talking that piece through would be something fun for us to do.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I am excited to do this. I'm going to try to wrangle my emotions in on this because this is a really hard one for me to talk about. Because here's the thing, I have been the guy at the top looking at the spreadsheet.

Stephanie Goss:
I know.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I have a very specific perspective on this, and also empathize. I empathize with our writer, but I really empathize with the panicking leaders at the top. Because I've been there. So anyway, we'll start to unpack this because I think we can do this justice. I think we've been in the different positions around the board and so I think we can talk to them a little bit in an empathetic way. So I'm excited to start to unpack this. One thing I would say is if you are a team lead, just like this team lead who took the time to write to us and you are balancing pressure from above with trying to look out for the team below, you might want to check out our Uncharted Team Leads Summit. It's on November the eighth. It's a one-day virtual summit. It's open just to team leads.
And so whether you're head CSR or lead technician, this is for you. And so we will talk just exactly about managing pressure from management and looking out for the team and managing teams. Anyway, but that's the first thing I'll throw. Let's get into headspace here. Sound good?

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, that's sounds a great place to start.

Dr. Andy Roark:
So that's generally a good place for us to start. All right, two things can be true at the same time. The first thing I would say is numbers are important. If you don't measure it, you can't manage it. And there are some unquestionable forces of practice life which is payroll is coming and you have to have the money to do that. As much as I hate it, money is like food, it's not what life is about, but buddy, if you don't have it, it becomes a very hard thing to ignore and your options for spending your time get really limited. And so money is like food in that way. And so paying attention to numbers is really important. Watching your metrics, watching the numbers of the appointments, things like that, it is critical to be able to set clear expectations. Everybody wants to know if they're doing a good job and how they're doing and how are we doing. And if you don't have some general ideas that have some numbers tied to them, you don't know how we're doing. And it's really hard to set expectations about yes, we're doing a good job, or hey, today wasn't the best day for us or things like that.
If you can't measure it, you can't manage it. You've got to have some numbers and metrics just to know how you're doing so you can organize people and get them to work together. And on the other hand, nobody got into this job to hit number targets, right? No one's like, yeah, I'm going to vet school so I can smash those pet per day numbers. Like nope, culture is critical and people want to believe that their work, it matters, and they don't want to feel like they're in the vet clinic to generate revenue. That's not why they're here. And it feels kind of gross because they get accused of just trying to build people for dollars and they don't want to believe that there's any truth to that at all. And when everything is number focused, you start to wonder sometimes, well, is it true? Do we really need to charge these things?
That is also true. So you have to hold both of those things. And then the two things swirl together where in my experience, if you have a good culture and people feel like their work matters and they feel like they're appreciated, then you generally tend to have a financially healthy practice. And if you have a financially healthy practice and you reinvest back into the culture and the people, then they tend to take care of you and it spins back up. And so they really do go hand in hand. I think that that's where the point of our writer is they're feeling like there's a lot of pressure about the numbers and not about the culture. And the culture is starting to fall apart under pressure for numbers. And I have a hundred percent seen that. So I just want to start with that.
There's this leadership pitfall and this is why this spoke to me so much and why I said I'm going to try to not get emotional about it, it's just because I've seen it so much is one of the hardest games as a leader, especially small business. But this also happens in the corporate practices where you are the medical director, you're the regional director, you're the practice manager, and you have this force from above that's holding you accountable to dollars. They're like, you need to make this money. There's very little panic that I think most business owners feel like running out of money and not being able to pay people. I will tell you that there have been times when I have looked at the numbers and been like, I don't know if everybody can keep their job. If we have a couple more months like this one, this last one, I don't know if I can keep their job.
And man, that is a hard emotional experience for me because I do, I feel like I fail people if I can't keep them employed. I hired you for this. I feel like I owe it to you to be able to take care of you and give you a good job. And I know that that's my own stories I tell myself, but man, it is really challenging. And where the real trap comes in though is when you're looking at these numbers and people are saying, these numbers are important, these numbers are important. If you want to pass that information down to the team and say, guys, I'm just being honest with you. We're in trouble. We're not doing well, we are not meeting our numbers. We are from above, the way we're being ranked, whether we're independent and we're trying to make payroll or whether we're from a bigger group and we have these expectations, we are not succeeding and I'm getting a lot of negative pressure because of that.
And so you want to be transparent with the team and let them know that. The tricky is, the problem is that if you do that in less than a graceful way, which is what you tend to do when you're actually stressed out and feeling overwhelmed is you don't tend to be your most graceful. If you do that, then the team generally knows that things aren't going that well and now they're feeling pressured about money, and each individual person has very limited control over the practice finances. It's not like Michael, the CSR, can step up and make the practice finances change by himself. He can't. And so they feel like they have limited control, they're getting kind of beaten up over something that they as individuals don't have much control over. And at some point it starts to wear you down because then you do start to feel like you are being judged on the amount of money that you make.
And as we said, a lot of people have a really negative knee-jerk reaction to that. And so I've just seen this spiral where a practice starts to struggle and it sounds like that's what happened here is they lost. They were two doctors and down to one doctor and so they lost a lot of revenue generating capacity and then other people left. And it sounds like leadership, the practice owner, the practice manager are starting to panic. And when we panic, sometimes we are not super graceful. So they're starting to talk about money and nobody wants to be in a practice that's struggling and the owners only want to talk about money. And then more people are leaving and that makes the panic worse, which makes the pressure worse and the whole thing spirals down. And that is one of the biggest leadership pitfalls I see. And I have been in that driver's seat of going, God, we're bleeding money everywhere.
And I want to be honest with the team because I don't want them mad at me because they're not getting raises this month and I need their help. I can't do it on my own. I need help. And so I feel like I need to be honest with them about why I'm panicking. But the thing is I panic and they hear it, and then a week later I'm still panicking and they're like, “No, we talked about this last week.” And I'm like, “But I'm still panicking.” And then the end of the month comes and I am panicking again and they're like, “Look, dude, three times this month you have told us that we need to make more money for the practice. I get it.” And you can see how it quickly goes. As they get resentful, I panic more because I'm like, no, you guys are not hearing me. And then you end up in this horrible beatings will continue until morale improves situation. You know what I mean? Where you are making the culture worse.
Yeah, you're making the culture worse and the culture has to get better for you to actually get out of this nosedive. But the thing that you are doing to try to get out of the nosedive is just killing the culture, which is the thing that you need to get back out of the nosedive. So anyway, it's a horrible situation. A hundred percent, I have felt this before and it's awful. It's an awful, awful feeling.

Stephanie Goss:
It is. It's a vicious cycle. And I think I'm glad that you tackled a big chunk of the headspace because I have strong personal feelings and connections because I've been there on both sides of this. I've been there as the leader and the practice owner who is like, oh, I know we need to make these numbers or there's consequences, whatever those consequences are. Whether it's like you said, are people going to be able to cash their paychecks? Been there. Or is it just like, oh, well, we're starting to trend down and I know that I'm going to get called to the hot seat with my boss and have to explain why things are happening. There are varying degrees of that, but I have definitely been in that seat and I have been in the seat of the team where it's like, to your point, none of us got into this because we want to manage numbers.
The vast majority, and by majority, I mean probably 99.9% of our profession got into it because they care about the patients. And so when you start to focus on the numbers and the business side of it, it is that head and heart disconnect for people where they're like, I'm here for the heart, I'm here for the patients. I'm here to take care of people and their pets and all of the touchy-feely things. And when you lean into the numbers and the analytics, they're just like, they shut you off. And to your point, then it spirals because both sides are like, you're not listening to me, you're not listening to me. And it's this big swirling pit of despair. And so I definitely empathize with this writer because it is a hard position to be in and it's a really, really hard position to be in from the middle, the way that they are.
Because as a lead technician or as a lead CSR, as a team lead, and honestly even as a practice manager, but much less so, more as a leader on the team, you're in the trenches. You're still working on the floor. You're part of the team, and so you see and feel and bleed the day-to-day effects the same way that they do and you're also beginning your leadership journey where you're being asked to think beyond yourselves. You're being asked to think beyond the floor and the team and you're really starting to have to try and think a little bit with a business cap on. And so I appreciate this leader asking questions and asking perspective on are they just being difficult wanting to advocate for the team and for the patients and don't burn us out. Let's practice good medicine. And to your point, shouldn't the money follow? And so I think that this is a really hard position for someone who is in a team lead role to be in. And so I really appreciate them taking the time and asking the questions because they're good questions.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I really love it. I'll give you a quick analogy how it feels to me. It's like imagine that you had a bakery, a magical bakery where the food was only good if it was cooked with love. That's it. Joy and love makes the things you make wonderful. And the bakery is about to go out of business. That's the scenario here is you're like, guys, we're going to go out of business. It's really hard to bake with joy and love when-

Stephanie Goss:
They're stressing. Anxiety, yup.

Dr. Andy Roark:
The business is about to go… Exactly, there's stress and anxiety. And it's like the thing that makes the magical cookies is being killed by the stress of needing to be more successful. But the only path to success is to bake with joy and love. And so that's exactly like the spiral. And when you're the practice owner and practice manager, you are acutely aware of how the business is doing and so they have that pressure. But I feel for the CSR or the lead tech that's in between of going, I get that financially we're struggling or that there's a hardship. And if we do not lean back into the joy and love, then this is never going to work. And that's really the position this person is in. So anyway, I think the first thing, and the reason I started with that is I think to be successful when you are in this in-between position, you need to obviously empathize with the team and know that they're not here for the money. They're here because they want to feel their work matters. They don't want to feel like they're doing this to generate revenue. That's not what they're here for.
And you also want to empathize with the management and leadership that's like, hey, we are held accountable to these revenue numbers. We just are, and they're real. And so the most savvy of leaders, it's like if you want a real test of your skill, you have to be able to hold both of those things in your hand at the same time. Which means you have to know that financially things are not going well and still lean into the culture, talk to people about why their work matters, and talk to them about how we are doing a good job. And we're doing it for the right reasons. And be transparent about like, hey, things are not going that well. Just so you guys know. And there's really this dance here. The team lead, they've got a number of options here now that we lay this out and go, okay, great, as long as you can empathize with management and where they're coming from and the pressures that they're feeling and the team on the floor, it's your job to then say, okay, can I balance these things? And sometimes you can't.
A lot of this is to the credit of the owners and managers. If you've got a leadership team that is not going to back down and they are just going to every day, they're going to hammer on this and make it a thing again and again, you're going to have a really, really hard time. Part of this is I really, as I looked at this, I'm really having to struggle to not try to coach the leadership team because that's not who's asking this question. But just if leadership team, if you happen to be listening, just as a real quick aside, recognize that the team doesn't want to hear about money. Tell them, be transparent, but then shut up because they don't want to hear about it. And you have got to lean into the culture and the purpose to make this thing happen. Make a plan, decide what you're going to do, how are we going to turn this back around, communicate it to the team, communicate what the importance is, and then shut up and stop. Try to stop looking at the numbers as best you can.
If you're going to look at the numbers, set a deadline and be like, great. We are not saying anything else about money for the next two weeks. So we've told them we are trying to do things, we're adjusting our plan. We are not going to talk to them about money or revenue or anything for the next two weeks. We are going to push the programs that we came up with and really try to push them for the right reasons knowing that good medicine, taking care of people. Look, I have a mentor who's just said to me a number of times, “Andy, if you work hard and you take care of people, things tend to work out.” And it's like, I have found that oftentimes that's true. But you got to just decide to lean into that. But I tell you, I would stop looking at financials except for set times. I would be like, I can't look at the numbers every day because it's not helping me. It's like it's not helping me. I get it. I know generally what's going on.
I know what we have to do. I need to stop looking at this and lean into trying to do good work on the ground and then we'll stop at the end of the week and we'll look at how we did. But man, I know people who look at the numbers multiple times a day and I go, this is not helping. This is helping you. And so that would be my side coaching to the leadership.

Stephanie Goss:
No, it's not helping and it's not healthy either. That obsessive managing to a spreadsheet perspective, it's not healthy because the reality is that veterinary medicine, there's a lot that we can control. And this is where I do empathize with the leaders who are looking at the number of perspective because there are a lot of things that we can control and there are a lot of changes that we can affect here. And we have a lot of people in veterinary medicine who are in leadership positions and who succeed in spite themselves and who don't have the understanding and the education background to know how to impact and affect change when it comes to the numbers. And so I have some thoughts on this when we get into the action steps perspective, but there's often this knee-jerk of things are going wrong and I know I need to fix it, but I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to fix it because I don't really understand the business side of it.
And so I'm just going to throw all the spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. And it just is often there's more chaos and madness and it's like, let's not do that. Leaders, if you're listening. We'll talk about some ideas. When you think about managing to a spreadsheet, and that tends to be this knee-jerk reaction like you were saying, Andy, I should look at it more. Because if I look at it more, then I'll know what's going on with it. But the reality is in veterinary medicine, we can't control all of the things and there are things we can control. We can add more visits in. We can try and get patients who haven't been coming in to come in. There are things that we can impact and we cannot control every minute of every day. And there is so much up and down that has to happen over time.
And I think that so many people from the business perspective look at it and go, okay, there's a plan and we're going to put the plan in place and snap our fingers and poof, it's going to magically change overnight. But when you think about it, and in this case, it's actually a really good example because this team lead was like, we've had a downward trend in our numbers over the last three months, and this is typically one of the busiest times of the year for us. Which is part of what is so worrisome, I'm sure for the practice leaders, it's like if in your busy time you're really, really down. Well, it didn't happen overnight. That's three months worth of numbers and you're not going to make a change and put it in place and poof, overnight it's going to be back to the way that it was.
And so I think that hyper-focused, hyper obsessed looking at the numbers constantly is really unhealthy. Really unhealthy for so many reasons. And there is also truth in that it is not going to change overnight. And so it does no one, particularly not the people involved who are working their butts off, good for them to see you hyper-focusing and hyper obsessing and looking at the numbers constantly because those numbers will take time to change. And so I love your perspective, Andy, about let's take a certain point in time whether it's the end of the day or the end of the week or every two weeks where you're like, okay, I'm going to sit down and review this and I'm going to implement change. You don't want to go a super long period of time because you need the time to impact the change. And if it's not working, you want to adjust sooner rather than later. But to your point, it is really, really unhealthy to do that obsessing. And so from a headspace perspective, if that's part of what is happening here, that conversation about that obsessing is probably a healthy one to have.

Dr. Andy Roark:
No, I completely agree. The dials of control we have are not so fine that you need to look in the morning, in the afternoon. That's ridiculous. Everything you do takes, it takes time. And time, not in hours, not even day, but in weeks. It takes weeks to get things turned around. And so one of the skills that I've learned over time is looking at trends and going, okay, this is not going the way that I want. And so I'm going to just to tell you how I do it is I look and I say, I'm going to set this date as a significant inflection point. And if things are not trending back upwards and they continue to trend down, at this time, whether it's a date or whether it's where I hit in the savings account or whether it's when we cross into the emergency account for our business, it's like I have a plan for when we have to dip into the emergency account. And it's the get small plan and it's going to suck. We might not be able to carry.
At some point you say, I tried to carry the staff for two doctors with just one doctor, but we have not been able to replace that second doctor and now I cannot carry that much staff. I just can't. And that sucks. But you not owning that and continue just to freak out about it and pound on the staff to make more money is like that's not helping anybody.

Stephanie Goss:
You're going to lose them anyways if that's the way you approach it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You're going to lose them anyway. I mean, quite honestly, sometimes the best call is to say, we have hit this mark, we are now into our emergency fund. I am going to let some staff members go and restructure down to a one vet practice that can be profitable, that I can afford to keep. And my hope is that one day I will be able to add a second doctor and then we'll have to rehire staff. And yes, that's not as great as if we already had them here, but it's just what we're going to have to do. And it's just funny. Again, I don't know this has happened here. And again, we got to stop talking about the leadership team, but I just can't because I just empathize so hard. There's this idea when you're driving the team and you are in charge and you're trying to make these things happen and you're trying to make good calls, there's this tendency to just white-knuckle the steering wheel. You're like, we're going to pull this out.
We're either going to pull it out or we're going to crash and burn. There's a middle path which is, well, we're going to have to make some hard choices along and along and we're going to adjust. We're not going to crash and burn. We're going to end up with a smaller team and that will suck. But we're also not going out of business. But I've seen people just drive it right out of business and I'm like, you know, if you would make some hard calls along the way and let some people go or things like that just along and along, you could have kept a smaller team and kept going and kept playing the game. But we don't think that way. We're not like, oh, what adjustments we get, it's just all or nothing thinking is we are going to make this thing fly or we're going to crash and burn.
You go, how about this? How about you're going to make something different fly because you're going to make adjustments based on what you need to do. And not in a moment of panic, but by watching and trying things and setting some guardrails where you say, well, if we're still trending down at this point, we're going to have to make some adjustments. But I tell you what, honestly, everybody's better off if you can do that and treat people with kindness and still lean into culture and honoring the work that you do and then saying, I'm sorry guys, we have to make these calls. That actually does much better for you than screaming the whole way that this isn't working and people are not showing up the way they're supposed to.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. Okay. So do you have anything else headspace? We started a little bit talking into the action steps, but before we make that switch, do you have anything else headspace-wise?

Dr. Andy Roark:
No, I think the last thing that I would say, again, it's just for the lead technician that wrote to us is empathize, right? Understand where it's coming from. Nobody's trying to be a monster. Everybody's fighting a battle. Just try to recognize. When you see people at their worst, try not to sum them up as a person based on their worst day. You know what I mean? That's it. And at the same time, we got to make some changes. And so let's take a break and we'll come back and then we'll get into if you're this lead tech, what do your playing cards look like?

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. Did you know that we offer workshops for our Uncharted members and for our non-members? So if you're listening to today's podcast and you are not a member of Uncharted yet, you should be. But this is not a conversation about joining Uncharted. This is a conversation about all of the amazing content that we have coming at all of you, whether or not you're a member through our workshop series. You should head over to the website at unchartedvet.com/events and check out what is coming. We have got an amazing lineup on the regular. We've got something every month, sometimes two or three things in a month coming at you to expand your brain, to talk about leadership, to talk about practice management, and dive into the kind of topics that Andy and I talk about on the podcast every week.
So now's your chance. Stop what you're doing, pick up your cell phone, I know it's not far from you, and type in unchartedvet.com/events. See what's coming and sign up. They are always free to our Uncharted members and they have a small fee attached to them if you are not currently a member. You can get all of the details, pricing, dates, times, and register, head over to the website now. I want to see you there.

Dr. Andy Roark:
All right, so let's take this. So you're the lead tech, the practice owner and practice manager keep beating the drum about money and the morale is down. You are stuck in the middle trying to help the culture on the ground and also to deal with the pressures that are coming from above. Right? Cool, sweet. As I said before, I think culture is your better motivator for your staff, right? Lean into what we're doing, the fact that we're a team, the fact that we're trying to make a difference. Remember what your team cares about. Everybody's got motivators, right? Sometimes it's patient care, sometimes it's making an impact in the communities, sometimes it's educating pet owners. What do they care about? Who are we? What are our values? And I would intentionally try to lean back into that and try to rally the troops around the values.
I would go and have a conversation with ownership. And I think the best thing that I think you can say the owner, it depends a little bit on the individual, but I think if you are stuck in the middle here, the best thing that you can do when communicating with a leadership is to make sure that they feel heard. And I will tell you as someone who's had to fly the ship and been like, oh no, I don't need people to freak out with me, but I just needed to hear someone say, Andy, we understand the situation. We got it, and now we're going to get into problem solving mode. And that's all that I needed to hear was because that's the concern is you think, boy, do they not get it? Do they not know that things are not going well? Do they not know how bad our month was? I've walked in the treatment room and people are whistling and high-fiving and I'm like, how could you be so happy right now? That's ridiculous. But the first thing you say is, I get it. I know this is important. I know we have to turn this around.
And so just try to make them feel heard and let them show you the numbers and blah, blah, blah. But just go, yep, I get it. So starting first is to try to empathize and understand, but mostly to make leadership feel heard and then remember what your team on the ground cares about.

Stephanie Goss:
And I think it's possible for this lead technician to recognize that this may not be one conversation. So there's two big things here at play. There's the conversation about the numbers and about needing to be a part of the leadership team and the solutions and figuring out how, to your point, recognizing that everyone has jobs because the business exists and if we don't run the business, we don't have jobs. And so part of this lead tech's role is looking at it from that perspective. And there's a lot going on that have to do with relationship pieces that don't have to do with the numbers that aren't the analytical piece. And this tech is feeling overwhelmed. They care about the team, it's impacting them physically. They're working extra because they're shorthanded. They're on the floor. They're impacted and they want to have things change to improve their own situation and the situation for the team.
And so recognizing that if their practice owner and their practice manager are worried about the numbers and stuff and they're trying to combine those two very different things, the relationships and the numbers into one conversation, the chances for success are very minimal. So your best bet in my opinion would be to break those things apart and be fully engaged with both conversations completely separately so that you can have the relationship conversation, you can pull those levers, you can talk about the impact to you. We'll talk about how would you set up a conversation like that. That conversation is going to go so much better when you're both in agreement that that's the conversation that you're there to have versus them wanting to have a conversation about the numbers and you wanting to have that conversation.
Because you do want to grow and this person wants to develop as a leader and also they care about the team, they care about themselves, they've got all of this other stuff. That conversation never goes well on either side. And most of us, I think it's just human nature, try and have the conversation together. I know I did, and so did my bosses. It's like, let's just sit down and let's just have the come to Jesus and let's just hash it all out in one mega long meeting. And then everybody leaves in tears. It never goes well.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And then we all cried.

Stephanie Goss:
Everybody cries.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Okay. Yes. Okay, I completely agree. I see this a million times, it is a terrible idea because this is not a let's hash it out problem. There are things where you're like, this is a hash it out problem. I guess we talk about, is this a head, heart or hands argument, right? A head argument is we are not understanding, we're looking at different facts. A heart is it means different things to different ones. And a hands is understanding how we get things done. Can we actually get this thing done? This is going to cycle between head, heart, and hands. Every time the numbers come back or they're looking like, it is going to cycle. If it's just a head problem, which means the staff does not understand this thing and we understand it and we need to make them understand it, it's possible you could get together and hash it out. And everyone goes, oh, okay, all right, I get it. I see where you're coming from. And then we put it down.
But that's not what this is. I would tell you as somebody who is looking at the numbers, like I said, it takes a long time to turn these things around to make real changes, things like that. This is not a problem you're going to hash out in an afternoon and then we're not going to worry about it anymore. It's going to continue to be a thing, which means if you are a writer, this is a relationship management thing, right? Think about it like you are supporting a friend, someone you care about who has a medical problem. It's like you're not going to hash out there a medical problem in an afternoon, be like, no buddy, listen, I empathize and I am thinking about you and I'm sending thoughts and prayers, and if we could just not talk about this anymore, that would be great. Thanks. But just know that I'm thinking about you, but also it's awkward and it makes me feel weird.
If you could just not bring it up again, that would be great. You know what I mean? It's not that. It's for the people who are trying to fly the ship, it's going to be an ongoing thing. And so I do think that as your lead technician, you are going to be in a relationship management thing. And that's not bad. It just means, trust me, this is going to come up again. It's going to keep coming up because it's not going to go away. And every time they look at the numbers or every time payroll goes through and the accountants drop or whatever, they're going to have another panic attack. And part of the challenge in managing this is you're going to have to be patient and kind every time. You're going to have to continue to say, I hear you. I understand. These are the things that are going well. I think we have a good plan.
You're going to have to reassure and then you're going to have to go back to trying to work on the culture as we do in a way that also helps support the practice. You're going to have to reapply yourself to the practice. And again, I think a lot of people think that there's something disingenuous about using different messaging to leadership and to the team, but I really don't think that there are. You know what I mean? Different people are motivated by different things or different people need different things. And so for example, this is going to be terrible because I'm just shooting from the hip. If you went to me and my wife and you were trying to get us to go on vacation somewhere, you're a vacation salesman. The thing you would say to me is very different than the thing you would say to my wife.
You would go to my wife and you would be like this, it's convenient, you're going to have the things for the kids to do are wonderful, the whole family will be entertained. And you'll look at me and be like, oh dude, it's got an open bar. I'm like, yeah, and I'm done. I'm sold. It's something stupid. It's not that. But you get the point, right? And none of that is untrue. It's just knowing who you're talking to. And so if you're the lead technician in this scenario, the conversation you have to try to support leadership to try to make them feel important, to make them understand that you understand what their needs are, that's just a different conversation than you're going to have with the team where you let them know that their needs are important, that you hear them, that you are trying to achieve what they're trying to achieve.
Again, it's not disingenuous. If you're straight up lying to one of those people, that's bad. That's not what we're doing. But the messaging up and down the chain can be different and we can still act with integrity because ultimately we are taking care of our team on the floor. Because we know and believe that if we do that along with some systemic adjustments, we can accomplish the financial metrics that are making us sweat. Things like that.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that you have a significantly higher potential for success on both sides, no matter how you're framing it to your point. Like, okay, if you are the vacation salesman, ultimately you want them to buy in and go on vacation. And as you're listening to the salesman, you want to see yourself going on that vacation. And so the ultimate success for everybody is that thing happening. And so I think for this lead tech, whether they're having the numbers conversation and they're helping and stepping into that leadership space or they're having the conversation about, Hey, this is how this is impacting me on a personal level. Or they're having the conversation about, Hey, this is where the team is at. All of those conversations have a very different frame, and it is okay for them to step into that conversation and focus solely on that piece because they're going to get to the others.
That's the thing is that you're not lying. You are going through the pieces. But trust me when I say that, when you break it apart and try not to just conquer it all at the same time, nobody succeeds there. And so pick one from an action set perspective, pick one and start there. And so for our writer, I would say what feels… There's two ways you can approach it. What feels the most urgent? Is half of your team really looking for other jobs and they're going to quit in the next week if you don't address something? That might be more of an urgently flaming fire than your practice owner being worried about the numbers. It might not, but that's a gut call that you're going to have to make. Are you yourself at the point where you're just like, I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed, I physically cannot keep working on the floor? And if you don't change my schedule soon, it is going to break me. Is that the biggest fire? Part of it is that from an action steps perspective is figuring out where do you start. Because you can't have all those conversations at once, and so which one is the most urgent?
And then when you're communicating that and you are sitting down and having conversations. So I think your first step, we always talk about having safe conversations and we're going to get to that. The first step is to ask to sit down and have the conversation. And so when you are asking to sit down and have a conversation, I would frame it for my practice owner and my practice manager in that, Hey, there's a couple of things that I want to talk to you guys about and I would like to set up two meetings or three meetings or whatever. Because I would like to talk about this and I would like to talk about this and I would like to talk about this. I want to be in the right headspace for each conversation and I want us to really be able to focus and accomplish things, and so I would like to break them apart how can we accomplish that.
If you came to me as the practice owner, even if I was worried about money and I was worried about the numbers, if you came to me as a member of my team, I would admire that so much that you are acknowledging my concern and be much more willing to set up the safe space conversation where we're going to be able to sit next to each other or we're going to be able to assume good intent. Where we're going to be able to look at how have we maybe not set the team up for success? How have we failed the team? And ultimately, get to the E in safe, which is what is the end result, which is the problem solving, which is ultimately where the practice leaders want to get to. We all want to skip the hard stuff and just get to the end result, but the reality is we can't do that. And so we have a better chance of working through the stuff in the middle together as a team if we can acknowledge, hey, this is multiple conversations.
So I would ask to have that conversation and set it up in that way. And so I think our writer needs to sit down and think for themselves, what are the pieces that feel like they're on fire and what feels like it's the biggest fire? And then figure out which one to approach from that. That's how I would approach it anyways.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I agree. I agree with all that. And I would also frame it in terms of asking for help. And I just find asking for help to be a really powerful approach is to go in and say, I hear you guys. I see what we're trying to do. I am concerned about what's happening on the ground, the way that people feel about these things. I need some help. I need help in delivering this experience. I need help in trying to try to take away some of the things that are most bothering to people so that I can get them motivated on whatever the initiatives are that we're going to try, things like that. But you go in and you put yourself as, Hey, I'm your friend. I am your lead technician. I am trying to help manage on the treatment floor. These are some things that I need help with. I need your support in this area.
And a lot of times, that's what people need to hear rather than saying, you need to do this, or the staff doesn't want that, or blah, blah, blah. And then you're not wrong, but it's much more productive to say, I need your help because I think that some people feel this way and I want to make sure that they know that that's not true and that X, Y, and Z are the things that we care about. And so I need your support in trying to frame these issues this way or to take some of this pressure off or to make this situation better.

Stephanie Goss:
I love that. And I think you also have, it is a good superpower to use to flip the help, you need their help and you should absolutely ask for it. And also to tell them, I want to help you, because ultimately that is a piece that is driving this person as a leader, which is I want to help be a part of the solutions here, and so I'm willing to try some things. And so I think it's a little bit about compromise. Our writer ultimately ended and was asking, am I just really burned out? Am I being really difficult? Here's the things that are weighing on me. And while we didn't get into a lot of those pieces in this conversation, I just want them to know, no, you're not wrong. Things like this impact all of us. It's a relationship and it has to be a two-way street.
And so you can dip into that trust bank and you can say, Hey, I need this and here's what I need and here's why I need it. And if you have a really strong relationship, there's going to be some give and take there. And also recognizing that as a leader, sometimes you feel like you only have 80% to give, but you figure out how to give a hundred percent anyways. And you can't do that over a sustained period of time without it becoming unhealthy and without getting to the place of burnout. And so if you are in a place where you're like, I literally can't take this anymore. This is physically impacting me, or this is mentally impacting me and I'm going to break, you have to lean into that aspect of the relationship, to your point, Andy, and say, I need your help.
I want to help you, and I feel like I can't help you until I help myself and this is physically impacting me or it's mentally impacting me, or whatever it is. And so I think leaning into that on both sides and having that honest conversation because it opens that door to the human space. And the reality is, if you've been working together and you have a good relationship and you've been there through the things, even if you're not friends with the people that you work with, you care about each other. And so I have never once leaned into that magic button of asking for help and trying to give help and not had it work out because we care about each other.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, no, I agree. I really like how you characterize this too. And this is a triage job. When you have things like this and you've got financial pressures and the metrics and you've got culture issues that are stemming from this and people are unhappy and all those sorts of things. I really do look at it like a triage job. It's one of those, it's like a multi-part surgery where you go, okay, we've got this horrible broken bone, but we're going to need to stop the bleeding before we deal with this bone. We're going to deal with the bone, but if we don't get the bleeding stop, we're not going to be able to fix the bone. It's a lot like that. And to your point, you go, okay, great, well, this is what I need. And so I've got to clamp my pain off and make sure that I can be okay. I'm going to clamp this off, and then we're going to go look at these things that the staff is really upset about that's undermining our ability to come together and be efficient. Let's see if we can fix that.
And all of that stuff is working towards the actual fixing of the problem, which is running a two vet practice. We want that. But we got to do all that stuff. But it's all interrelated, you know what I mean? It's morale gets down, so then people start showing up late, which makes the clients unhappy, which then beats up the front desk. It's like, you just got to stop. You got to try to figure out, do a little root cause analysis, try to figure out what the underlying, most painful, problematic parts are. Try to fix those things. And I'll tell you this, let me shine some sunshine here. What I have found is, because I said, you can tell I've driven this. I've flown this plane before, but what I have found is often it's not as bad as you think it is. It's not as bad as you think it is. A lot of good comes from setting some deadlines and then not looking at the metrics, like putting them aside, doing the work and then coming back at a designated time to see how you've done so you're just not beating yourself up.
And the other thing that I've found is your team wants you to succeed. They want you to succeed. They do. You can ask them for help and you'll be amazed at how if you are vulnerable and honest and you ask for help, it's amazing how people will pick up and come and get you. They'll come to where you are. And the real last part is when we have things like this and it looks bad and the staff is unhappy and things, you don't have to magically fix their problems, I found. But you have to show them that you're trying and you have to make progress. Most people, if you're making progress, if you're making an honest effort to address the problem and to get better and they can see a visible effort, they'll give you some time and they'll give you some grace for the most part. You know what I mean? But it really is, often it's that perception of are things changing? Are they going to change?
So you don't have to have the magic wand, you don't have to have the magic solution, but you have to try some things and you have to work on some things. And just say to them, Hey, we're not going to get everything right, but we're going to try and we're going to keep trying. And if this doesn't fix it, we're going to keep working. This is probably going to be a multi-step process in getting us back where we need to be, but you have my word. We're going to keep trying to fix things and we're going to keep working on them. And I've just found that it's funny, people will give you grace as long as they believe that you're trying and that things are changing. I think the biggest fear that people have is nothing is changing and nothing is going to change, and this is what it's going to be. And that's when I think people really lose heart.

Stephanie Goss:
I think the last thing for me, I'm going to talk to the practice leaders a little bit, but also to our team lead here. When we think about this from a numbers perspective, one of the things that happens to a lot of us, it's happened to me on both sides of this, which is why I'm bringing it up, is that we have this sense of panic. And Andy, I think you might be able to relate to this too, we have the sense of panic because we know that things are not going the way that they should. And so we start looking at the numbers because we know, everybody tells us, well, you should be monitoring your KPIs, you should know. But so many of us in veterinary medicine don't actually know why we're looking at each of those things. And so as a practice owner, this is what happened to me when I was a manager, was my practice owner, we got into a position where we had lost some staff and we were doing less appointments.
And so our numbers started trending down. And all of a sudden, it was like, let's obsessively look at all of these numbers because someone told us that we should look at the numbers. But I was like, are those the right numbers? What matters? And so I think your point about root cause analysis, the best thing from trying to bring the numbers and culture perspectives together, besides breaking apart those conversations is for this team lead to try and understand what is being looked at and why is it being looked at and doing that root cause analysis. So to your point, Andy, is the practice owner sitting there and they're truly worried that people might not be able to cash their paychecks? Those numbers are different numbers than if you're worried about the overall number of new clients, or you're worried about the fact that people can't get in for three months.
The root cause there is very, very different. And so I think as a team lead, stepping up and saying, I want to help this because that's how you are going to help drive the team, is to understand what are we looking at and why are we looking at it? Why do we need to impact the change? And that will, I think, unlock the ability to have that conversation on both sides for this team lead.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Okay. I love it. I could do a whole nother episode right here based on what you just said because you're spot on. So I made some assumptions about why this is a big deal. Because I'm like, oh, you're looking at this and the number's not where they need to be. And they went from two vets down to one. And so I imagine it's fairly dire, but I do think it's probably a very, very good choice to try to understand why these numbers are important. Why are these numbers important? Because there's two things that I see. I've seen them in myself, I see them in a lot of other people who run teams is one is comparison is a thief of joy, which means, are we doing these numbers? Because your friend from vet school has a hospital and their numbers are much greater than yours.
I'm like, I have seen people a hundred percent grab onto that and they just trash the thing they have. And the truth is, the person probably didn't tell you their actual numbers anyway. But I've seen people be like, I have to get numbers like they have. And I go, they're in a different demographic, they're a different area, blah, blah, blah. Forget it. But I have a hundred percent seen people be like, yep, I have to do this. And so comparison is the thief of joy because I'm comparing to someone else. The other thing is what a practice should be, and this is something that I think tortures a lot of people, is we read management journals and we talk to consultants or we go to talks and things like that. People are like, well, your practice should be doing this and they should be doing that.
And the truth is, there is no should. There's what you hope for. There's what other practices are able to do, but there is no should. And so I am a hundred percent seeing people be like, well, I should have my practice ready to sell and blah, blah, blah. And you say, but are you planning to sell? And they're like, nope. And I'm like, okay, then that's something we should aspire to but it is not mission-critical. I felt that way at different times in my career of like, I will tell myself a story about what my business should be or how my practice should run, the practice where I work should run. And the truth is, none of that matters and it's not real. And there is no celestial body of judges who will say, yep, you ran your practice the way it should be run. That doesn't mean anything. So anyway, are we doing these numbers because these are numbers we should have? Are we doing these numbers because we're comparing ourselves to someone who's not us?
Or are we looking at the numbers and saying, well, the payroll is coming. I'm not comparing myself to anything other than I want to make sure I take care of my people and I'm worried not being able to do that. Those are three very different things.

Stephanie Goss:
We could totally do a whole separate episode on that. And to your point, I think the success for this conversation is to help me understand, start wide and ask the questions. I want to understand what we're looking at. Why are we looking at these numbers? What numbers are we looking at and why are we looking at them? I think that's a great place of inquisition to come from as a team lead. Because that's part of your journey is learning and understanding, and you might help yourself, but you may also help your practice owner and your practice manager along the way. And so I think it's a good place to start that conversation for sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I agree. All right, cool.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, well, this was a fun one.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I agree.

Stephanie Goss:
And now I see two more episodes coming out of this.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I know. This is a robust question, I'll tell you that.

Stephanie Goss:
Have a fantastic rest of the week, everyone.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. See you, everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Well gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message. You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can email us at podcast@unchartedvet.com. Take care everybody, and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.


Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: culture, management, Training, Vet Tech

Aug 30 2023

HALL OF FAME: Performance Reviews That Don’t Suck

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Hall of Fame Episode 218 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice manager Stephanie Goss are answering a question you asked in the mailbag! We received an email from a practice leader who was asking questions about employee reviews. They wanted to know what are some of the most best and most effective questions that should be asked on an employee review? They were also curious on our take for who should be answering those questions, especially to help give the best overall picture of an employee. And lastly, they wanted to know should management be reviewed and if so, who should review them? If you have listened to the podcast before, you might already know that Stephanie and Andy both think should is a dirty word. This was a fun episode, let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 247 – HoF #218: Performance Reviews That Don't Suck

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to role play on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

Calling All Team Leads – Are you coming to the Team Lead Summit?

If you are a lead CSR, lead Tech, lead Assistant, Kennel lead or any of the leadership positions that fall underneath the practice manager level but still have you leading team members – THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! Being a team lead is such an exciting and rewarding position. You get to be the motivator on the floor, the teacher, the mentor, the coach, the cheerleader…and of course a key leader in the practice.

The Uncharted Team Leads Summit on November 8, 2023 is a 1-day, virtual event that will bring you together with other team leads to connect and navigate that challenges that come with this unique position. Expect inspiring sessions from leaders you know and love in veterinary medicine, meet other team leads you can reach out to in the future, and receive an infusion of energy to keep you going long after the event is over. Priced at an early bird rate before Aug 15, 2023 of $59 for Uncharted members and $79 for non-members, this is a great chance to get some leadership CE under your belt that is targeted just for your role. We can't wait to have you join us.

All Upcoming Events


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
Hey everybody, this is Stephanie Goss. I'm coming at you with another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I had so much fun diving into a question from the mail bag about how do we do reviews that don't suck. Now, fair warning, we did this episode right after I had just done a session at VMX on performance reviews and things that are better than a performance review. So I was super fired up. Andy got fired up as well. There's some soapbox moments, a lot of fun. And we talk about the mailbag question, which was, what are some of the most or effective and or best questions that should be asked on a performance review? Who should be answering those questions and should management get reviewed too? This was a lot of fun, let's get into it. And now, the Uncharted Podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie. I made you look good. I made you look.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, you actually did your job that time.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I did. I remember. I was like, what song? We're talking about performance reviews today. And I was like, “That kind of fits.” Also, my 11-year-old daughter is very into the Meghan Trainer song, I made to look.

Stephanie Goss:
I was going to say that there's play regularly at your house.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, yeah. It plays regularly and there's lots of strong eye contact and dance moves. Like it plays and she just locks eyes with me and breaks it down. And I'm like, “What is this?”

Stephanie Goss:
If you have not seen the Instagram Reel, I think it's called… I need a social media lesson from Tyler and Kelsey. I don't know what any of the things are called. I'm not on TikTok, so I know it's not TikTok. But if you have not seen the video on Instagram of Kevin Bacon and his daughter doing a dance to that song, you have got to watch it. I have watched it probably 25 times. It makes me smile so big every time I watch it. When I need to smile, I'm like, “Well, let's watch Kevin Bacon dance to this because it is…” Especially if you're a parent, I think you'll find it funny. It was hilarious to me.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Man, I have a resolution for the New Year that I've been keeping so far. I know this sounds familiar.

Stephanie Goss:
Are you going to join TikTok?

Dr. Andy Roark:
No, that's the resolution a lot of people have been hoping for.

Stephanie Goss:
I thought you were about to make tenacious day and then we could have an announcement on the podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… you need to do TikTok. And I'm like, “Ah, don't hold your breath.”

Stephanie Goss:
Not TikTok. What is your resolution?

Dr. Andy Roark:
It's the opposite of TikTok. I'm not kidding in this, but my resolution for 2023 is to be more bored. Not more boring, but more bored. I mean that because I noticed about myself that I sort of seek constant distraction, you know what I mean? And I listen to a lot of podcasts. Generally, I have a bunch of podcasts I listen to, I listen to audiobooks. I'm always reading multiple books and that's not bad. In fact, most people are like, “Oh, that's really good because not junk,” but I'm feeding my brain and blah, blah, blah. But Stephanie, what I realized about myself at the end of the year was I kind of live in this perpetually distracted state. I'm always listening to something, I'm always thinking about something. I'm always doing something. And I think it's contrary to being present in the moment in a lot of ways.
And so, what I mean, when I say that is I found that it's been my resolution so far, is just not having that phone in my hand all the time or even on my body and to not put my headphones in whenever I have a moment. And so, I like to wash the dishes and listen to podcasts or listen to audiobooks. But I decided it's like, you know what? I'm just going to take a break from doing that for a little while. And what I found is that when I don't have my headphones in and I'm washing the dishes, my kids come and talk to me and they don't come and talk to me when my headphones are in. And my wife walks in and she didn't say anything, but I'm just standing there washing dishes. And so, I say, “How was your day?” And I'm genuinely asking, not just perfunctory greeting, but how's your day?
And so I've found that I'm having these conversations and I'll go walk the dog and I won't listen to my audiobook or I won't make a phone call just to talk. I'll just walk. And I feel like I get good time just to think. And then the neighbors come out and talk to me. And so, I'm talking to the neighbors now and I'm like, “I've only been doing this for a couple of weeks. But I feel like I'm really connecting to people in a lot of ways.” And I think I do feel like my level of mental fatigue has kind of gone down. But I just say that because my daughter has been dancing at me a lot, but it's because I'm just there and I'm goofing off and I'm not doing anything. And she'll start dancing and you know what I mean? And then it just kind of turns into this thing-

Stephanie Goss:
She's engaging with you.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… when I'm on my phone. And so, I don't know, it's just when we were talking about dancing fathers and daughters, it made me think about being bored.

Stephanie Goss:
I like it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And it was funny though, I had this thought as far as we're talking about performance evaluations and stuff. So I was in the Kitchen and I had my headphones out and I was just washing dishes. And my wife came in and we were talking and I said something about trying to be more bored. And she was like, “Oh, is that why you don't wear your headphones?” And I was like, “Yeah.” And she goes, “I think it's really great that you're doing that.” And I was like, “Ah, well, thanks for saying that.” She was like, “I hated when you had your headphones at all time. It made me so mad.” And it was funny because my language of appreciation is affirmation. Like that's my love language, affirmation. And so, tell me that I'm doing something good and you'll make me really happy. It's funny because I felt really happy and then I felt really not happy. And I just wonder how much positive feedback is given on the way to negative feedback. You know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss:
A lot.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, I really love how you handled that client. Usually, you're kind of a jerk and you know…

Stephanie Goss:
It's the poop sandwich.

Dr. Andy Roark:
It is. It's the poop sandwich, but it's without a top bun. It's like, “Oh, I wonder how many of us are like, I'm saying something nice and he seems really appreciative. Now, it's my chance to say the mean thing or just the critical thing.” Now's my chance to be critical because I said this nice thing and I'm like, “How much maturity does it take to say the nice thing and then not say the critical thing that you have in your pocket and just be done?” And I think that's really funny, but I was just thinking about it when I was like, “Oh, speaking of performance reviews…”

Stephanie Goss:
I just got one from my wife.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I got one from my wife that sounded like praise. And then quickly turned into, let me tell you how, I hate when you wear your headphones and wash dishes.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, so funny.

Dr. Andy Roark:
She's not wrong. But just all the joy from her initial praise of my resolution just went right down the toilet.

Stephanie Goss:
So it's funny that you say that because we've been fighting that. We've been fighting the same thing. Both of the kids are, and they're same as you. They're listening to audiobooks, they're reading, they're listening to podcasts, and they're really smart kids. And they share stuff with me and I'm like, “I didn't even know that, that's history at it.” They constantly teach me things. And at the same time, it totally bugs me that they're constantly having earbuds in or have their headphones on. And we'll be in the same room, we're sharing space. But we're all listening to something separated. So on New Year's, I intentionally put my phone down and took my ears out and I was like, “Hey, you two, tiny people, let's have a conversation about what we want to do this year.” And so, we did some bucket listing and some goal setting, but it came about like we were talking about things that we wanted to learn this year.
And I told the kids one of my goals for myself this year, which was to work on my fluency in Irish. So I lived in Ireland and taught high school there and taught in a bilingual school. And so, I can read a decent amount, but my conversational Irish has never been great. And I would love to improve that because I really want to take the kids to Ireland and have them be able to see all of my old haunts and all of that kind of stuff. And so, that was a goal that I set for myself. And I was talking to them about languages and they both were telling me, I was kind of surprised. They were like, “I want to also learn a second language.” And my daughter was like, “I want to become fluent in ASL.” And I've been teaching her ASL since she was little and she actually has quite a good grasp on it.
Honestly, her skills fluency is surpassing mine at this point, which she was like, “I want to actually be able to converse with people and have total conversations.” And my son was like, “I want to learn Russian.” And I was like, “Where did that come from?” But really, he's like, “I think that I actually want to learn Mandarin.” He's like, “Because it is one of the most commonly used languages in the whole world.” And he starts spouting off about statistics and being able to converse with people. And I was like, “This is great.” And so, we were talking about different ways to learn language, and I was telling them, and I've been using an app and they have been quietly watching me apparently the last three days. Because I started using a language app and was doing my 15 minutes a day and sitting there and practicing. And last night, I come in the front room and they both have their headphones in and I'm like, “Oh, not again.” But I stopped for a second. They're both freaking working on languages.

Dr. Andy Roark:
That's cool.

Stephanie Goss:
And I was like, “This is awesome.”

Dr. Andy Roark:
That's very cool. I like it.

Stephanie Goss:
So yeah, I'm a fan.

Dr. Andy Roark:
The takeaway is there's a balance. It is about intentionally doing things and use your time and then also making some space to just unplug. So like I said, I'm not saying I'm giving a podcast. I enjoy that stuff, but I think I'm going to be more intentional about when I am listening to audiobooks and when I am intentionally not listening to audiobooks-

Stephanie Goss:
And being bored.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… and I'm just being bored.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, let's talk about intentions a little bit because we got a mail bag question about employee reviews. And it's really funny because we're recording this. By the time this comes out, VMX will be done and over. But I'm actually speaking at VMX with our friend, Megan Brashear, and we're doing a session about employee evaluations. And so, I was really excited for us to talk about this on the podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Get it, Stephanie. Get it.

Stephanie Goss:
I can't wait. And Megan is so fun, it's going to be a great session.

Dr. Andy Roark:
She's amazing. She's absolutely an amazing person.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, she is.

Dr. Andy Roark:
She's so great.

Stephanie Goss:
And we both feel passionately about this subject, so I'm super excited. But we got a question in the mail bag about being effective with reviews. And specifically they were asking about questions that are effective for being asked. But they were also specifically asking about who should answer questions on a review? How do you get the best overall picture of an employee? And then they were also asking, should management be reviewed? Like as a manager, should I be getting an annual review? And if so, who should be reviewing me? And I just thought it was a great collection of questions that could go in you and I's hands, could go in a million different ways. But I just thought this would be such a fun one to talk about on the podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, this is hard. And I'm not sure how we're going to talk about this exactly. Because it's like where do we talk about what should be and where do we talk about what is in making the best of it? You know what I mean? It's like if someone said, I want to eat ice cream for all three meals and a hot fudge and caramel on top, which flavor of ice cream should I have for breakfast? And you're like, “I think we should back up past what flavor should I have for breakfast and talk about the underlying plan.”

Stephanie Goss:
Should we eat ice cream for all three meals?

Dr. Andy Roark:
You know what I mean? I don't know if that made any sense at all. But that's how I feel when people are like, “What question should we ask in this annual evaluation?” I'm like, “What flavor of ice cream should we have under the chocolate syrup at breakfast?” I'm like, “Wait, how did we get here?”

Stephanie Goss:
That is such a great analogy. I love it so much.

Dr. Andy Roark:
This can just spin wildly out of control. But that's how I feel, I'm like, they swept up somewhere along the way.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And now we're in this bad place asking the final question.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, people get frustrated because I get asked this question a lot as a manager and as someone who speaks as a manager in our industry, I get asked this question a lot or a lot of should questions about reviews. And if you have listened to the podcast, you know that Andy and I both feel like should is a very dangerous word. And my question back to them is, what's the point? Why are you doing a review? What are you trying to do with it? Because that will shape the answer or the opinion that you get. And the why has to be at the forefront of this question. And I feel like the why is almost always the afterthought.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, completely.

Stephanie Goss:
And it's the how, that's the first questions.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Exactly. How do you do this? And not the question of, why do you want to do this and what is the point? And it doesn't shape how you do it, it completely defines how you do it. And so, when people say, “What question should I ask?” My response to them is, “What do you want to know? What is the purpose of this exercise?” And they're like, “I don't know. To perform an evaluation.” I'm like, Well, then, ask whatever you want.”

Stephanie Goss:
Because someone told me that I had to check a box once a year.

Dr. Andy Roark:
The point is to perform a review, ask whatever the hell you want. And then really, this is a scheduling exercise. But on the schedule, wait until the time has passed and the person has appeared and then you're done and that's it. You have performed a review and that's it. But I'm not kidding. And again, this is why I go off the rails. I'm like, “what are we doing here?” Anyway, but as we know, there are some people who are like, “I am required to do this evaluation. And so, now, cocky, just tell me now that I have to do this, what do I ask?” But my answer is still the same. “What do you want to know and what is trying to accomplish?” And so, I don't believe that there is a right way to do an evaluation because there's not a right goal you should be aiming for.
The questions I would ask you, Stephanie Goss, if we sat down together and I was going to do your employee evaluation, they're night and day different from what I would ask Maria Pirita, who works with us as well. And you're both wonderful and you both have similar jobs or do kind of similar things, but you're in wildly different places in your development and in your skillsets and in what your interests are and where you're going and how you're developing, and what's important to you and who you interact with. And all of those things are going to dictate what I would ask you in an evaluation. And that's not even taking into the fact or the idea of, “Is a once a year evaluation a good idea as a format?” And I go, “Well, no.”

Stephanie Goss:
Well…

Dr. Andy Roark:
But inside of it, it would be very different.

Stephanie Goss:
I think because that answer speaks to why you would give us evaluations in the first place. So the why for you would be to have a developmental conversation and talk about goals and the vehicle would be asking us different questions based on who we are, what our interests are, where we are in our career, what we're working on you. When you give that answer, you are looking at it from that perspective. And when it comes to employee reviews as a whole, vast majority of managers and business owners are taught to, and or choose to look at it as a box that has to be checked, number one. Something that has to be done on a prescribed timeline, number two. And is being done, the why is documentation to cover their ass really.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, yes.

Stephanie Goss:
Or to figure out how to pay their people. Both of those two things are inherently stupid and messed up systems that I am absolutely against. And so, it is a wild soapbox for me. And it's funny because Megan and I got together and were talking about our session for VMX, and she's like, “How do you feel about annual performance reviews?” And I was like, “Oh, okay, you just handed me a soapbox. Like 10 feet high and said, climb up.”

Dr. Andy Roark:
45 minutes later, you stopped talking. And she was like, ‘Well, that's our presentation, then I'll ask you that question and then I'll go have lunch and you'll just go off.”

Stephanie Goss:
No, but really, that is really unfortunate because it is leftover from where industry and work and employment started in the stone ages. And that is one of those things that has not progressed anywhere near along with wages anywhere near the rate of inflation. We haven't changed this process. We're still trying to apply this process that has been used forever and ever and ever to what we're doing now.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Well, and a lot of it is driven, and you said this before. A lot of it's just driven by HR. If you're a corporation and not only in corporation in a Megan sense, you'd be a small business. Especially your employment lawyer will tell you, you should be evaluating people and documenting their performance because this is required. So anyway, the frustration, it's not real frustration, but a little bit that you hear is, I am super pragmatic. I want to get things done. And the idea of having an annual evaluation or even these scheduled formal evaluations, I go, “I think they're largely counterproductive to actually growing human beings and leaders and developing people.” But I get that, again, I think it's an HR liability legal thing.
And then also, it's a way when people say, “We want to give raises and we need a formal structure to do that.” That feels fair, and in some way objective. Then evaluations and some sort of a formal grading scales come into that. And so, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying don't do them. I'm just saying that the way they're usually put forward is not only not super helpful, it's often counterproductive. It drives anxiety levels and cortisol levels through the roof. It makes people really uncomfortable.

Stephanie Goss:
The team hates it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
The team hates it.

Stephanie Goss:
They're driven by anxiety. The managers hate it because I will tell you, having run bigger practices, who wants to spend three to four weeks of their life, trying to think back on the last year for my entire team and actually make that actionable and individual? It's an impossible task and it gives everybody anxiety.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I agree. That's our general philosophy on evaluations, the better way… So here's what should happen in Andy's magical world that doesn't exist. In Andy's magical world, that doesn't exist, you would talk to your people in an ongoing basis and you would trust them. And when they did things that were good, you would say, “Hey, that was really great.” And you would not say it on your way to telling them what they had done before that you didn't like.

Stephanie Goss:
It would be a complete full sentence.

Dr. Andy Roark:
It would be a complete…

Stephanie Goss:
You did this thing and it was wonderful, thank you.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Exactly. It would even be a full sentence. It would be a full interaction. That would be the stop and then we would leave. We would go to other places and stop communicating for a certain amount of time.

Stephanie Goss:
All right.

Dr. Andy Roark:
But we would tell them what they did that was good. And then when there was room for improvement or we as a mentor or colleagues saw a place where they could develop, we would say, “Hey, I noticed that you did this thing. Can I give you some feedback on it?” Or, “Hey, this is what you did really well. This is what I need you to work on going forward. Can you do that for me?” And that's the whole interaction there. It's not, “Here's nine things and here's a running history.” It's, “Hey, I saw this go down. Did you see it? Do you agree that that's kind of what happened? Let me tell you what the perception was, looking at it from the outside. Can you do that differently next time?”
And you just give them the feedback right then, not with a pen and paper in your hand. Not in a scary way with a door closed. You just say, “Hey, I need you to work on this. You are really good at this thing. This is what I need you to work on going forward.” And then you go on with your life and you don't treat them like a pariah. You don't avoid talking to them for the rest of the day. You just say it and then they go, “Okay.” And then you go on. And ideally, when the boss say something that hurts their feelings, they say, “Hey, yesterday when you said this, it hurt my feelings.” And you'll say, “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. That makes sense that you would hear it that way. That's not how I intended it, but I understand how you heard it. I'm sorry. I'll do that differently next time.” And that's how this whole thing should work. And doesn't that sound like a beautiful, wonderful place to be? Like, does that make sense?

Stephanie Goss:
Yes, it totally does. And then it leads to the question of, well, if we're doing that, what is the point? Because it still asks the question, what's the point of having a review structure? And I would argue that in that hallucinatory world, there is true power. The power gets unlocked in terms of the employee review because then you have the ability to say, “Let's look at where we've been. Let's review the journey.” The word review means let's look back. So what is the look back? Where did we start the year? Where did we end the year? And you have the ability to look at it in the context of the good and the challenges. And what I mean by the challenges is what progress did we make on the challenges? Not these are the things you screwed up and it feels punitive, but these were the challenges you had and this is how you overcame those challenges.
This is the progress you made around those challenges. So it is positive and it is forward focused in the sense of, what are we going to continue doing to continue to change this or improve? And so, for me, when people ask me this question, I ask them, what's the point? What are you trying to do there? Because for me, I as an employee want to exist in Andy's hallucinatory kind of world where the review process and the structure from an HR sense exists to support an employee driven process where I am engaged in my work. Where I get to set goals, where I get to have conversations with you, Andy, that says, “Hey, this is the thing I'm super interested in. This is why I'm interested in it, and why I think it can benefit me and why I think it can benefit the company.”
And we have had those conversations and then we're monitoring the progress of that work. That's the kind of review process I want to be a part of. I hate feeling like I have a system and a structure and I have to check the boxes. And I recognize that myself included in both private and corporate practice, the expectation was set that this is a box you're going to check and you're going to check it once a year. And for a lot of my career, it was tied to money and it was tied to pay evaluations for the team. And that is the thing that I hate more than anything. And I won't soapbox because I could do a whole episode on that alone, not alone. But I recognize that that is a structure that a lot of people have to live within. And so, I think that's really asking the question of what is the point? What are we trying to achieve so that we can manage expectations as best we can is the best possible thing we can do When it comes to reviews.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I just like the term evaluation and I think you're hitting around that as well. I don't want to be evaluated, like way judged, measured. I don't like that.

Stephanie Goss:
Because it puts the power in somebody else's hands.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Exactly right. You, Stephanie Goss are going to tell me my worth in some way in, and it's not. It's like there's a judge, but no ability for me to say, “Well, this is what was going on,” or “This is the context in which I made decisions,” or “This was going on in my personal life.” And again, I know I'm thinking a little bit far, but not really. I don't like that term, evaluation. You and I do a lot of work with leaders at Banfield and they have their PDP, which is their personal development plan. And I'm like, “I will a 100% show up for my development plan meeting where we talk about what I have done, what I'm doing well, and what I could do in the future or how I could grow and develop going forward.” I'm much more on board with that meeting than we're going to evaluate your performance in the last year and tell you your worth.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, and I think that's the thing that a lot of people wrestle with because for a lot of companies, that was the structure in theory for me in the corporate environment that I worked in. And at the same time, it was still tied to my compensation. It was still the evaluation. And to your point, I think a lot of people try and combat the evaluation by saying, “Well, we're going to have a self-assessment as part of this.” So you get a voice and you get a say. And most of the time, that voice and that say isn't really factored in to balancing out the scale and equaling out the scale. They're giving you the chance to say what you have to say, but how much of that is weighted into your score? And so, I think the system and the structure is inherently flawed and it's something that I love to fight against in terms of veterinary medicine.
But the whole point of the podcast is like, okay, how do we actually make this actionable? What do we do with it? And there's two sides to this. One is the place where you get to live in Andy's hallucinatory world because there are people who are the boss or who are in a position where their practice owner says, “I don't care what you do, as long as you do it and you get to make it all up.” That's the best seat to be in because you get to ask the question, what's the point? What are we trying to do here? What questions are we trying to answer? And you get to make it up, or you're in the camp where there is a structure you maybe don't have say in it, and you still have to do the thing. And so, then how do you make it the most least anxiety driven for you and for your team and how you make it the most effective within the constraints that are placed upon you.

Dr. Andy Roark:
What I want to do, let's take a break here.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And then we're going to come back and we're going to talk about, given the constraints that we're in, let's talk about how we do this. Let's talk about, great, we've told you what we think. That doesn't change the fact that it has to get done. Let's come back and let's talk about how to do it. But one thing I do want to say just before I forget, I think we need to separate the idea of compensation tied to evaluations. That's too much, it's too big to-

Stephanie Goss:
It's a whole soapbox.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, it's a whole soapbox.

Dr. Andy Roark:
The whole other thing. So we're going to put aside anything about how compensation is tied to evaluation. Just how do you do evaluations that don't suck. That's our plan, all right?

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. I like it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
All right, so we are back. Let's go ahead and start to lay this thing down. Now though, I want to talk about this chronologically. I said before the break, Andy's fantasy world where we give feedback on an ongoing basis. Do that thing, and the fact that you have to do an annual evaluation, that should not change. It's not like, well, I'm not going to give feedback in the moment because they're going to get it later on. We all know the idea of giving someone feedback on something they did three months ago is dumb.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, oh, totally. I think the trick that a lot of us miss, myself included, for a really long time was that I would give that feedback and then I wouldn't document it. And so, then, if you are doing some sort of evaluation structure, then you sit down and you're like, “I don't remember what happened over the last year, but I remember the last thing they did that annoyed me.” And that's what we focus on, it's whatever. That's how our human brains are conditioned to look at that negative. So the trick is that documentation. And you're not going to write every little thing down, but you have to have a system for yourself as a leader and as a manager to capture the big things, good and challenging and document it on an ongoing basis.

Dr. Andy Roark:
There's a million ways to do this. I use Notion, I love the app Notion. It's just a great brainstorming app. I'm not talking about sharing with a team. I have it for myself. I have a team gallery, it has all of my people and they have their pictures there and it has their contact information and it has personal things that I want to remember about them, their birthdays, spouse names, kids names, things like that. That I'm like, “I want to just make sure I have all stuff.” And then for each one of them, when I have an interaction with them or something, and I do it when they crush it too. And that's a big point I want to make is do not go around and record all the bad stuff and ignore the good stuff. And then you're like, “What's this evaluation about?” And you look back and you have all the crap, all the bad stuff, all the bad days. Don't be that person.
When they do something great, write it down. And when they do something that needs to be corrected or something you want to work on or an ongoing pattern of behavior, jot that down. But the big thing with this is just have a system. And honestly, I make sure it's on your phone and I say your phone because you're going to think about it when you are at the post office and you're like, “Oh man, that was really great.” And when you get that idea of that person, what they just said was really kind. Pull your phone out, jot the date down, jot down what you saw. And then when you come around to the end of the year, you're like, “Hey look, here's a couple of things I just want to call out. One of the things that I admire most about you is this characteristic.”
And I saw it multiple times through the year. I remember on this date, I saw it here on this date, I saw it here and this day I saw it here. And people go, “Oh wow, you really have been paying attention.” We always think that we're going to remember things. No, you're not going to remember it. You got to have a system to write it down. The evaluation doesn't happen at the evaluation. It should be working throughout the whole year to build a fair and helpful picture of what we're trying to do.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, I do very similar except for I am the kind of person where I have to actually write it. So I use a reMarkable tablet and it's basically like a digital notebook. And when I was at the practice, I had a folder for the practice and there was a folder for the team. And just like you with Notion, everybody had their own notebook and I would write it down and you can index the pages. It's like super cool, it's one of my favorite work tools. But it has to be something where you are recording it on an ongoing basis, whether it's your phone or handwriting, but remembering if you're handwriting things, that's what I love about the reMarkable, is that I can then digitally upload it because so many of our hospitals are using HR software.
And the last thing you want to have to do is write it down for yourself in multiple places or then have to spend the time uploading it to the place where it's supposed to go. So looking at your own individual hospital and your own individual systems and figuring out how do I organize this in a way that is not, I have to go unlock a cabinet, pull out Andy's employee file, find the section, and then insert my page here. That should not be your system.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And so, start your system way in advance and start gathering information so you have real examples. The other thing to do at the same time, probably even before that is figure out what you're doing here. What's the point of this evaluation? Is it, I'm going to bring my employees together so they all know what I think of them? That's arrogant and stupid and not helpful. Who cares what you think of them? Is it so that you can reap justice upon them? And all the people who got away with things will be held accountable. That's a terrible twisted system. Is it so that I can help mentor them and help them grow and help them enjoy their time here and help them be more successful in their career and where they want to go? I mean, the thing is the point of the evaluations, it's not for me.
If I have a problem, I'm going to call you or I'm going to walk up to you and I'm going to tell you about it. And that's how I'm going to handle it. And it will get handled. And so, if we're going to have this sit down meeting, it's not because I need something. Because if I needed something, I would've told you about it already so that I can help you to be happy here and to grow. Because I really feel like as leaders, we have a personal responsibility to try to grow the people underneath us. And sometimes that means we grow them and they outgrow us and make us. I think that that's a good problem to have. That means you're doing good in the world and what are we trying to do here? And you can't hold a meeting if you don't know what you're trying to accomplish.

Stephanie Goss:
And for me, that is the place that I settled that allowed me to sleep at night as a manager was to say, okay, even if I have a system and a structure and I have to live within this, my own personal drive for reviews was to look at how can I help grow this person? What are their goals? What do they want? And so, for me, it was about making it goal driven in whatever form that took with an individual employee because it actually allowed me a lot of freedom and flexibility to say, well, this person has professional development goals like, they want to become a certified tech. Or maybe there was something that they were working on that fit the ladder developmentally.
But it also allowed me the freedom and flexibility to take the people on my team who were like, “I don't actually know what I want to do.” Or, “I really love my job, and yet, I don't want to grow up the ladder, but I still want to learn.” Maybe it's about, I want to learn how to be… I mean, I had one of my team members who was CSR and she was older and I remember the first time we sat down and she said to me, she's like, “I'm probably going to cry.” And she's like, “But you asked me what my goal was going to be for myself in this next year.” And she's like, “I want to learn how to get faster with the computer.” She's like, “Because I feel like I'm always holding everybody up.” And it was so funny because everybody looked at her through that lens of she was the older person who didn't love the computers and she saw that in herself and wanted to fix that.
And it took huge kohones for her to say that and be vulnerable. And I was like, “Oh my gosh, we can totally help you with that. That's a great goal. It benefits you because it's something that you want and you desire, but it also benefits the team as a whole. Hell yeah, let's come up with some goals around that and a plan to help you get better.” And what does better mean to you? How do we define that? It gives you that flexibility as a manager. And that was where I kind of sat with the whole process is like, how can we make this about where do people want to grow?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I love it. I think there's three pieces to what we put into this evaluation, right?

Stephanie Goss:
Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark:
So when I'm putting together and I go, “What's going to happen in this evaluation?” So I've generally got an idea of what I'm trying to accomplish. I've been hopefully documenting behaviors that I want to talk about or things that I feel like are capstone moments for this person throughout the year. Three things. Number one, the questions to ask what I'm trying to figure out what they are. Because I can't tell you what they're, because they're different for everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I, Andy Roark as the leader, what do I want or need to know so that I can help this person to grow and develop? So what are those questions? What do I need to understand so that I can better serve you as a manager, as a boss, as a leader, as a grower and mentor of people?

Stephanie Goss:
What do you love about your job? What do you find most challenging about your job? What feels like the biggest success you've had in the last whatever time period?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, and remember, I love positive inquiry. When you think back on the last year, what have been the highlights for you? When you think about the best day that you can remember working here, what was it? Tell me about your dream day. And again, I'm trying to figure out what you love. Why? Because if I know what you love, I can open up doors for you. I can put you in positions, I can give you opportunities that are going to make you happy. As opposed to being like… And we've all seen things where you're like, “I'm going to give this person opportunity.” And they're like, “Why did you punish me this way?”

Stephanie Goss:
I didn't want that opportunity.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I know this is the worst thing ever. I've had people on our team. I'm like, “Hey, I thought you're going to do a one-hour presentation at the conference.” And they're like, “What did I do to you?”

Stephanie Goss:
Oh-oh.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I mean, you've got great things to share and I thought you would, and they're crying. And anyway, all right, what do I need to know so that I can support you? If I was getting evaluated, what would I want to have happen? It's the golden rule. And so, people are like, “What should we ask in the evaluation?” I would say, “I don't know. If you were getting evaluated, what would you hope that they asked you?” Or “What would you want to be asked?” And then, bam. And that's it. So part of it is give the evaluation that you would like to have. And that doesn't mean from a grading standpoint. But it's like, well, I don't know, evaluation should benefit the employee. They shouldn't be a punishment they have to go through. And so, it's the golden rule. If you were them, what would you hope happens at this evaluation?
And then number three, what would be beneficial to that actual person? And that involves asking them before the evaluation, “Hey, is there anything that you're hoping to talk about at the evaluation? Is there anything that you're looking for? Is there anything that you're going to want to discuss about the coming year?” And ask them. And they might be like, “Oh, I would like to talk more about opportunities for me to learn new skills that I don't have.” And I would say, “Great, I will look around. I will be top of mind for me. Maybe I'll try to get some ideas and then you can come and we'll discuss that then.” And then when they say, “Hey, in this evaluation in the next year, I would really like to do more of this. I'm not caught flatfooted. I've got some ideas.” I'll be like, “Cool, tell me more about what that means.”
And I can at least know what they're going to be interested in and just do a little pre-thought on what questions do I have for them? What do I need to understand to be supportive there? So anyway, just to summarize, what do I need to support this person? What do I need to know? If I was this person, what would I want to have happen? And then number three, just straight up asking them, what do you hope to get out of this meeting? And ask them ahead of time so that I can incorporate that into their evaluation. And I feel like if you ask yourself those three questions and you find that, you can figure out what questions to ask that are going to get you what you need. Between those three things, you've got a multi-hour evaluation session that you're never going to be able to get through anyway.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, yeah. So the format that I ultimately kind of settled on for myself, and you have to make, find what works for you. For me, it was splitting it into three parts as well. The first was where have we been? So the look back. And when I say that, our natural human brain wiring is to go to the negative a lot of the time, and what were the things that stand out? Well, the things that stand out are the client who came into the lobby and got shouty, right? Because that's an event that triggered our brain. And so, when we look back, we often look for those negative things. And so, my own challenge for myself was that if I was going to put anything on the lookback list that was constructive or was a challenge for every one of those, I had to have four other positive landmarks.
So 4-to-1 rule. So for every five things that I looked back at, four of them had to be positive. And I mean really solid concrete examples, not just, “Oh, I said one negative thing. So now I have to come up with four good things to outweigh that.” Because I've been in that position in a structure where I felt like I had to say positive things just to say positive things. But I want to look back at the last year and I want to ask the team member to do the same. What was the last year for you? And if we're doing our job and we have the documentation, you should have a whole notebook full of positive things that have happened over the last year. Let's pick out some of those highlights and look at it on a developmental curve.
Where has the growth been over the last year versus the last year has been not so great? Which is where review processes tend to focus, I think a lot of the time. And then the middle part is where are we right now? So current state, how are things going? How do you feel about your job? What do you love the most about your job right now? What are you finding most challenging about your job right now? Present state, how are things going? State of the Union on both sides. And this is a conversation, this is not, I've thought about all these traps to catch you in this conversation. It is about really how do you feel about your job? Are you happy? Are you not happy? And where are you going? And there's tons of resources out there for specific questions that you can ask your team in terms of one-on-ones and asking them how they feel about their current state at work.
And then the last part for me is where I try and spend the bulk of the time in a review, which is where are we going? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do in the future? Having it be as future facing as possible, and looking at it very much from the perspective of what excites them? What do they love about their job? What do they want to do more of? And I love that you ask that question, how can I help them do more of the things that they love, Andy? Because that's really where you get the excitement and the enthusiasm and then the structure, having to set goals, make them smart, figure out how to check those boxes.
That becomes easier to do when there's excitement and passion behind, and a why behind it. If somebody feels like they're doing it just to check the box, you're going to get BS. It's going to be crapping crap out. And so, for me, it's about what actually excites them about their job, and then focusing on the questions that I want to ask to unlock that and drilling down into their why.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I agree with that. So quick pearls for doing these as well. So other things I want to put out, I agree with you and I are on the same page as far as figure out what you're trying to do. I liked your idea of past, present, and future. It's a good way to set and organize the thing.

Stephanie Goss:
The structure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, the structure. It's a good structure. I like to sit and think about what is my purpose? What am I trying to create and accomplish here? That's just how my brain tends to work. I think you can put those two things together into something really beautiful and make something. Rules of thumb for me is ideally the person should not be surprised by anything they hear in the meeting. And if you're thinking about your structure and you're like, “Oh boy, they're not going to know that I'm going to say this.”
Then I would say, “Why haven't you communicated that to them before?” If you buy into the Andy idea of we talk about how things are going, not in a scary way, just in a matter of fact like, “Hey, I care about you. I want you to be successful. I want to support you. I'm really honest and transparent about what I need. I want you to be honest and transparent about what you need.” You shouldn't get to the evaluation and someone goes, “Andy, it's been a bad year for you.” And I'm like, “What? I know it's been a great year for me.” “No, it hasn't, Andy.” I don't want that, and nobody wants that. So they should not be surprised by what you're going to say. And if they're going to be surprised, then we have some communication challenges that have nothing to do with the meeting itself, and we need to work on that.
So number one, they should not be surprised. Number two, do everything you can to lower the stakes here. Try not to make this a big scary meeting that they're going to stress out about for a week. And they're going to walk in and their palms are going to sweat and their heart's going to race. That's not productive for actually accomplishing the goals that we talked about. If you're like, “I want to support and develop this person.” Okay, why don't you talk to them they're having a panic attack. That'll be a great approach to take. That'll really help. You're going to crush it, go ahead. It doesn't make any sense. So do everything you can to not make this scary. And the other way you do that is by not telling them things they don't already know.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. So what's your third? You said three.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, so keep them them four.

Stephanie Goss:
I've got a third.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, well, I mean, I'll have a four if I want.

Stephanie Goss:
So, well, the last big thing for me that we haven't talked about is for most people, the point of doing this is because there has to be some sort of score keeping. There has to be some sort of metric. And so, for me, when it comes to thinking about the questions and even just making it, looking back at the past, looking at the future state and the present state, the question for me is what kind of metrics am I going to use? How do I know what success looks like there?
And I mean, even if you have to use a scale, and I've been there where it's like you get one point for this thing. Then work together to figure out what that success looks like so that you can define a way for them to know what the scale is and how it applies to them. Because that is one of the biggest sources of anxiety when it comes to employee evaluations, is feeling like you don't actually know what the scale is. And whoever's giving you your evaluation is making up the rules as they go.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I know, I love that.

Stephanie Goss:
So it's as simple as smart goal setting. If somebody says, “I want to become a licensed technician in the next year,” well, that's maybe not an attainable goal depending on where they are. But it's a great goal because you can absolutely work backwards from there and break it down into a smart goal format where it's time bound and you can measure it. Have they met or have they missed the mark for each one of those steps? And so, for me, that future facing is about, let's dream big, but then let's take some time. And I like to make them two separate meetings because then your point, you're not sitting in a super long meeting. It's like, okay, look, we're excited about these things. How are we going to get there? What is the actual goal going to look like?
And sometimes you have team members who come in right off the bat and they know how to do that on their own. And you're also going to have team members that have no idea how to make that actually actionable and make a plan. But for me, that focus, that excites me, that's my jam. I love sitting there and helping them figure out how are we going to do this? What is that going to look like? And how are we together going to measure this at the end of the time period next month when I ask you, “Hey, how's it going working towards the goal? What is the scale that you are going to grade yourself on and that you would be okay with me grading you on as well?”

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. I think that's great. Jumping back to the original question, there was how do we do these evaluations? What questions do you ask? Who should answer the questions? And I think the implication here is if you're trying to get a complete picture of someone in their performance, do you just ask that person or do you ask other people? And the last question is, should management get evaluated? And so, let's go ahead. I would take five minutes right here at the end, Stephanie Goss, should management get evaluated?

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my gosh, you're going to open up another soapbox at the end of the episode?

Dr. Andy Roark:
We're going to hammer this out in five minutes. I think another episode of how should leadership get evaluated? I think it's a whole episode, but let's just lay this down real fast. On the count of three, let's both say whether or not management should get evaluations. 1, 2, 3.

Stephanie Goss:
Hell yes!

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yes. All right. Oh God, I didn't know how that was going to go. I was like, “This is going to be awkward.”

Stephanie Goss:
No.

Dr. Andy Roark:
No. The answer is hell yes. And why? Because go back to what I said. What's the point? If the point is to support this person and develop this person, I'm sorry. Would you like to have one of these mystery things that supports and develops? You would say Absolutely. And so, if this thing is meant to support you and develop you, then you would want one. And if you don't want one, I think that's a really interesting thing for you to stop and think about and be like, “I tell people I don't want an evaluation.” And I go, “Okay, well, maybe we should change the evaluation.” You know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And so, anyway, so the answer is if you buy into what Steph and I have been saying about evaluations, first of all, I hate the name. But if you buy into a personal development plan meeting, a personal development checkup or whatever, if you buy into that, then it's more important that leaders get them than anybody. It's like, you need feedback just like the employees do. We're all human, we all have big blind spots. We're all doing our best, but we can't necessarily tell how we impact other people all the time. And so, yes, absolutely, leaders should have them.
And so, then the question becomes who should do them and how do we do them? And I think that that's a whole other I episode. My basic thing is this, remember why we're doing this, right? Remember, it's about mentoring people and growing people. It's about getting feedback. It's about getting some guidance in how we develop basic things. If you want to pull in guidance from other people on your team to help get a more complete picture, you can do that. I have seen people blow their faces off doing this. And I'll tell you what you're not going to do-

Stephanie Goss:
The 360 anonymous review.

Dr. Andy Roark:
That's exactly it. You are not going to do a 360 anonymous review. That's a terrible idea.

Stephanie Goss:
That's a horrible idea.

Dr. Andy Roark:
It's a terrible idea. It's a great idea. It's a terrible, horrible, in practice reality thing. People, it is awful, we don't have time to get into it. It's awful, don't do it. And Stephanie, you've seen me ask for evaluation in our team, and you kind of know how I try to get that feedback and you can comment about how well it works or whatever. But one of my true beliefs is if you are going to get feedback on other people on your team from their coworkers, or if you are the leader and you are asking for feedback, you want to ask in a way that minimizes the chances of bad behavior and unfair analysis and things like that.
And so, one of the quick ways I'll say that I do is I'm a big fan of what I call stars and wishes. And so I'll say, “Hey guys, I'm looking for stars and wishes on Stephanie Goss.” And stars and wishes means a star is, tell me what she's great at. Tell me what she does that you appreciate. Tell me what she's wonderful about. And then a wish is, what would you like to see Stephanie work on in the future? And those are the two questions. Tell me, she's great at, tell me what you love about her. Tell me what you'd like to see her work on in the future. Do not tell me about what she did last week. Tell me about the time that she hurt your feelings. That that's it, just tell me that stuff. And honestly, I have never done anonymous evaluations just because God, I hope that my people trust-

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, I hope it's an awful…

Dr. Andy Roark:
… I hope my people trust enough to say, “Hey, this is a concern that I have,” and it's up to me to be a good steward of their trust. It's up to me. I hope that anyone on my team had a problem with someone else would come to me and say, “Hey, I'm having this problem,” or “This is a concern that I'm having.” And if they wouldn't do that, I'm like, “Oh man, I have not been doing a good job as being a steward of the trust of my team and I need to work on that.” So anyway, that's in a nutshell, those are my big takeaways on those sorts of other person reviews.

Stephanie Goss:
I think that that piece needs to be very targeted and very smart in the questions that you're asking because that is the most dangerous part of the evaluation process. It's where I see it blow up every single time where it's blown up on me as a manager, having used that framework and where it has blown up on me as a team member. Giving people an anonymous open-ended source to be able to just vent. “Don't do it. Don't blow your foot off.” That's all I'm going to say. But it is an area where it can be really useful. You have to choose the right questions. And so, asking about things that are objective is the key here. Because if you are asking questions that basically allow people to not be objective and to let their feelings and emotions weigh into it, it's going to get messy really quick.
And so, asking things that are truly objective and measuring, weighing it within the context of the relationship, I need to know. And that's why I hate it being anonymous, because I might have a kennel team member that has worked with me one day in a whole year. I want to be able to hear what they have to say, but weigh that differently than the feedback that might come from you, Andy, where we've worked together as doctor and technician side by side, three days a week for the last 12 months. I want that to be able to have weight, and I can't do that if it's an anonymous system.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I completely agree. All right, well, that's what we've got…

Stephanie Goss:
We've created four other podcast episodes for ourselves on this conversation.

Dr. Andy Roark:
A lot of ranting in this podcast. I hope that there were some good actual useful tips, I hope there was.

Stephanie Goss:
I have ideas for three different blogs.

Dr. Andy Roark:
We got that going for us and that's nice. All right, everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Take care everybody. Have a fantastic week.

Dr. Andy Roark:
See you everybody. Bye.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mail bag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mail bag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message. You can always find the mail bag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can email us at podcast@unchartedvet.com. Take care everybody, and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: culture, management, Training

Aug 23 2023

I’m Afraid I Suck as a Manager… and I Want to Go Back to the Floor

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Episode 246 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management geek, Stephanie Goss, are deep in conversation after reading a mailbag question from a licensed veterinary technician who feels Cursed By Promotion! That's right, they became a practice manager and are wondering if they should go back on the floor because they feel like all they do is put out fires and chase their tail trying to keep up with things. They haven't been able to do any of the big things they dreamed about changing and setting up when they took the job and the worst part for them is that they feel like their fellow technicians are getting frustrated and angry with them for not being able to implement change. I think this is going to be an episode that leaves a lot of listeners going “Hey, I have felt like that too!” Let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 246 – I’m Afraid I Suck As A Manager… And I Want To Go Back To The Floor

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to role play on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

December 7-9, 2023: Practice Leaders Summit

Are you a practice owner or practice manager? WE WANT YOU! That is right, we are heading back to beautiful Greenville, South Carolina December 7-9, 2023 for our first ever Practice Leader Summit: Owners and Managers. We were inspired by our community to bring together practice owners and their practice managers into one space to collaborate with their peers and each other! In fact, you can join in solo if you are in one of those roles because the point is working together with people who get the challenges you are facing in your role and want to help collaborate and problem solve. Learn more about what we have planned and how you can get in on all the fun here.

All Upcoming Events


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
How many times have you called a client in the last three days, left a voicemail, and then had somebody call back and say, “I had a missed call from you,” not even having listened to the voicemail? Look, the data shows clients want texting. They want online and digital communication. So if your practice does not offer texting two-way with your clients, you are missing out in a big way, and you're also in luck because our friends at Simple Texting have done the research that one in three clients check their text notifications within a minute of receiving a text, one in three, and that goes up to 85% of all of our clients within the first five minutes after receiving a text.
So if you're listening to this and your practice isn't yet texting two-way with your clients, you are missing out in a big way, and I don't want you to miss out anymore and neither does Andy. So our friends at Simple Texting have put together a deal for you, our Uncharted listeners. That's right. They have got texting plans that you can try for free for 14 days, but if you go to simpletexting.com/uncharted, they are going to give you up to $100 worth of free credits when you sign up for texting for your clinic. There is no reason, none, whatsoever, today to not be texting with your clients. So if this is you, head over to simpletexting.com/uncharted, get your deal, check out all of the amazing options.
Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I are back in the mailbag tackling a question from a licensed technician who happens to feel cursed by their promotion. That's right. They were promoted by necessity about a year ago and are really struggling with feeling like all they're doing is chasing their tail and putting out fires. I really loved having this conversation with Andy, least of all, because I immediately felt my heartstrings tugged when reading this email because so many of us, I think, feel promoted and then feel like we are learning trial by fire, and this technician asked some great questions and I had a blast talking this out. Let's get into it, shall we?

Speaker 2:
And now the Uncharted podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
We are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark and the one and only Stephanie, I want to go back but I can't go back, I know, Goss.

Stephanie Goss:
Hi, Andy Roark. How's it going?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, man, it's good. Things are crazy. Yeah, it's good. So I've been traveling. I went and traveled with my daughter, my oldest daughter, and she went to Youth Nationals for Olympic weightlifting in Colorado. She did great, but that was not the highlight of her trip. The highlight of her trip was we went hiking the day after she did her competition. So we went to this place in Colorado Springs called The Garden of the Gods, which was amazing. It's just this crazy rock formation and just absolutely beautiful red rocks spiking out of the ground. It's absolutely incredible. There's nothing like it on the East Coast, nothing remotely like it. It's like another planet.
So we were there and we were hiking, and you're like, “Oh, she enjoyed the hiking.” She did not enjoy the hiking. She's not a cardio person. She has short little legs like Stephanie Goss. So us hiking looks like you and me at a conference where I'm striding.

Stephanie Goss:
… and I'm running, and I'm running to keep up.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You're running. I'm a good three meters ahead of you just going and you're just coming along, trucking, jogging behind, and that's how Jacquelyn and I hike as well. So we're hiking.

Stephanie Goss:
I feel Jacquelyn's pain.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, yeah. She's five-one. She's a pocket titan is what I call her. So anyway, she's trucking along after me. I love dogs as you know, but I do not love dogs like Jacquelyn Roark loves dogs. She is so into dogs. She loves dogs. There on the trail is a beautiful, dorky, happy golden retriever. Jacquelyn sees her and goes, “Oh,” and then she says, “Can I pet?” and they said, “Sure.” They reached down and they took the dog off the leash and they said, “Get her, Moose,” and so Moose-

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, God.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yes. Moose comes shooting towards her. It was like in the movies when the two people are running through the field arms spread towards each other, but it's Moose and it's Jacquelyn and they're running. I see her just swelling with joy as this dog approaches. Then as she goes to close her arms around this magnificent beast, he jukes to the right, goes right past her, and runs directly to me, who is not doing anything. I just want to be real clear here. I was not calling him. I wasn't like, “Ooh, I got treats in my pocket.” I did not do … I was 100% minding my business, watching the joy on my daughter's face. The funniest part was how close he got to letting her throw her arms around his neck before he bounced to the left.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, poor Jacquelyn.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, her heart just broke into pieces on the trail, and I laughed so hard, and the owner was like, “Oh, he loves dudes. Sorry. He loves dudes.” She was devastated until she came over to where I was, but Moose was so into me. A couple life lessons there. First one is you can't want it too much. That's a rule in life is you can't want it too much. The second rule is Moose loves dudes, and the third lesson is I'm awesome. I'm clearly awesome. So that's what we did. That's what we did on our trip.

Stephanie Goss:
Poor Jacquelyn, but she's amazing and she's badass.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, she's amazing. Yeah, she's amazing.

Stephanie Goss:
She competed at the Nationals, which is a huge accomplishment.

Dr. Andy Roark:
She did. She did really well. It was one of those things. You know when you … I don't know. I'm sure you've had this experience. There are times when you're not proud of your kid's success, you're proud of the toughness they showed in getting there, and it was … So she got there, and I won't go into Olympic weightlifting too much other than to say it's real hard. You only get to go three times. So you have to walk up there and you have to pick this bar up and there's two different kinds of lifts and each time you only get to pick the bar up three times. So get to do … and that's it. That's it. If you fail to pick the bar up three times, you don't-

Stephanie Goss:
You're done.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You're disqualified. You've got nothing. If you mess up, sorry, you just messed up, and that's a big part of it. It's like, “Oh.” It's so mental, so mental. She dropped the first lift that she did and I thought, “Oh, no,” because I knew she had been stressing. As we were flying out there, imagine the pressure when you're 15 of, “My dad is taking me to Colorado to do this thing.” I did not say anything about it, but it was … You try to downplay it, but it's clearly a big deal, and she dropped the first one. I was sitting in the stands and I was like, “Oh, no. This is bad. This is where the wheels can fall off.”
Then to have her come back and she accomplished all of her goals that she set for herself, and I was like, “The fact that she did it after she dropped the very first lift, when it could have easily just gone into pieces,” like, “Nope, that's resilience, that's toughness.”

Stephanie Goss:
That's awesome.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I'm so much more proud of the fact that she pulled herself back together than I am of how she ultimately finished. That's been interesting for me to reflect on.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, that's awesome.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, how about you?

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, it's been busy. It's been busy. We had also kid sports happening, although nothing is as cool as Nationals, but Riley went to gymnastics camp this last week, which was totally awesome. They do a training camp at the university here and the gymnastics team helps with it. Let me tell you, Andy, it's funny because I think doing what we do, I look at other businesses and other industries and I've always looked … You go somewhere and you go to a restaurant and you have really good customer service and you're like, “Oh, that was great customer service,” and you can recognize it. I feel like doing what we do, I go other places and it particularly impresses me when I see young people being leaders just like outstanding leadership because it's such a learned skill and it's always really impressive to me when I see it in young people.
I was just so impressed with the vulnerability and the honesty that these college gymnasts share with these young girls who look up to them and who just … You can just see the adoration on their faces watching these college gymnasts. They're like celebrities to these girls and they're so humble and so kind and so honest with the girls about mistakes that they've made and falls that they've had. Somebody falls off the bars and it's like, “I've done that too and this is how I picked myself back up and you try it again.” I was just so inspired by that. They could have been like, “It's okay. Dust yourself off and try again and stayed up on the pedestal,” but they didn't. Every single one of them chose to come down to the girls' level and talk to them and engage with them in that place of everybody makes mistakes and everybody falls and everybody screws it up and it's about what you do next.
I was just so, so impressed, and I had to be that proud mom, but I went up to the coaches afterwards and I just said, “I have to tell you, I work on leadership development for a living,” and I said, “I was so impressed with your team. They were just so kind and so vulnerable and honest with the girls and just really, really, really impressed.” It was an amazing group of young women. So it was a great experience. It was fun to watch. It's fun. Like you said, it's really fun to watch your kid really set goals for themselves and go after them.
I knew that that was a thing that I was going to get to see eventually, but I didn't know that I would get to see it so young. I see it in both the kids in very different ways right now and it's just fun to watch, but it's summer, it's busy. We finally have sunshine in Washington and we've been soaking up every moment of the sunshine. Life is good right now, but I am super excited about today's episode.
We got a mailbag question that I just thought was fantastic because I think this is probably going to be one of those episodes where there's a bunch of people going, “Wait, are they talking about me?” because it's something that I think a lot of us have felt. Imposter syndrome is real.
So we got an ask from a technician who said, “I really am afraid that I suck as a manager, and I think I might want to go back out on the floor,” and they said, “I've been a licensed technician for years now, and about a year and a half ago, our manager left and I was promoted by our practice owner,” and they were like, “I really want to do a good job. I don't really know anything about leadership or management. So I've been reading and trying to learn everything that I can and listening to podcasts like this,” and they said, “but I still don't feel like I'm good at it at all. I feel like I'm just chasing my tail and chasing people and trying to get them to do what they're supposed to do. I feel like I spend all my time putting out fires and it's really disappointing because when I took the position, I was really excited to make some changes and I told the tech team, ‘These are some things that I want to tackle and that I'm really excited about changing.'”
It's been long enough now that this person has been enrolled that they feel like the rest of the team is starting to judge them and grumbling about how they haven't done any of the things that they said they were going to do, and they were just like, “I feel like I'm drowning. I don't think I'm good at this. I don't think I want to do it. I don't feel like I can just quit and go back to my old job, but there's a lot of days where that's what I want.” They were just like, “Help. What do I do?”

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, no, this is a great question. I have heard a lot of people who were like, “I got promoted and I don't like it and I want to go back.” All right. Do you want to take it first? You've been a practice manager. You were a very good practice manager, but I'm sure there were days that you were like, “Why am I here?” You came off the floor and got promoted up into management as well. So why don't you open this up?

Stephanie Goss:
I did. No, I think, for me, definitely you're not alone. This is one of those ones where I think everybody doubts themselves. I think even people who choose it doubt themselves. So I think from a Headspace perspective, the biggest thing for me is just recognizing you are not alone. For me, that goes in two ways. One is doing the introspection and the work on yourself to just really look at how are you feeling and maybe why are you feeling the way that you're feeling, but the other goes to a solutions-based thing when it comes to headspace for me, which is you're not alone and it makes it easier to talk to other people.
So that's why I love this question because we should talk about this more because we are a field that promotes people who are really, really good at their jobs, but who are not equipped skill-wise for the job that we're promoting them into a lot of the time. So there are a lot of people out there who feel alone and isolated and feel like, “I am the only one who sucks,” and I think the headspace for me starting place-wise is you are not alone and you are not the only one who sucks and you probably don't suck as much as you think that you do.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, no, I like that a lot. It's easy to feel siloed away. It's very much easy. I'm going to tag onto that with another thing that I've been saying a lot recently, and I wrote about this in my newsletter. So if you like my rambling stories and stuff like what I'm going to say and you don't get the newsletter, you should go over to drandyroark.com and sign up for the newsletter. It's totally free. I write for it every week. Every week I write something. It's something I started months ago and I really love and I don't see me not doing it. It's a commitment in time, but I get a lot out of it. One of the things I get out of is sometimes I write stuff and then people will say words back to me that I know that that's where they came from and it means a lot.
So I had a friend two days ago reach out to me with a text and she said, “The middle of success feels like failure.” I know that she said that to me because that's what I wrote about a few weeks back is, “The middle of success feels like failure.” I think that whenever we take on something that's challenging, especially something that we're excited about, there's this excitement going in. There's planning because planning is just talk and we're writing things down and we're having ideas and there's this, “I haven't started yet, so I can't fail.” There's no objective measure of planning. You don't know if your plan is good until you try to run it. So you're just going to town and you're getting fired up and you're getting excited and that's super fun.
Then there's success when you're like, “I did it. I made the thing and it was wonderful and that feels great too,” but what we just skip over is the part where you go from the excited planning to the success and it is the sucky slog. I was thinking about this recently. In movies, we don't see the sucky slog because they just montage through it.

Stephanie Goss:
Cut to the happy ending.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. They montage. You know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You don't see the, I don't know, the super spy doing their stupid calisthenics training that lead … You don't see them going to yoga so that they can do the little poses to slide past the lasers. You get a clip of them doing some aerobics and then, bam, and then they montage past it. Rocky is the classic one, right? You've got this regular bum and he's going to fight the champ.

Stephanie Goss:
That's exactly what I had in my head.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Right, but it's the classic. You got this guy who's a street brawler who gets knocked out in his local little boxing bar, and then he's going to fight the champion of the world, and how do you get ready? You montage. He's chasing a chicken, he's pulling a sled, he's running and a bunch of kids are chasing him, and he's climbing the stairs, and he's doing … but they just montage through it and then big fight success, pull scene, end credits. We don't get to montage in life.
So this what seems like it should be a short sprint from planning to success is not, it's this huge slog and it sucks. The whole time you're like, “Why am I not getting better faster? Why am I not accomplishing my goals? Why are we not done yet? I never thought this would take so long.” God, if you're recognizing some of those thoughts as, “Oh, that feels like failure,” you're right. So the middle of success feels like failure. There's no way around that part. You have to go through the crappy part.
So part of this is when you move into a management role, oftentimes if you're in an individual practice, even if you're in a group practice, most of those practices don't talk to each other, so you feel alone, and then the middle of success feels like failure, which means you could be doing great, you're still going to feel like you're struggling for a long time.
I may really ruin your day. Here's the really sucky part is let's say that you pull it off and you're successful and everybody tells you that you're awesome, you're going to feel great for about three weeks, and then there's going to be another project that you're going to excitedly land and then you're going to be right back in the middle of the suck wondering if you're failing because you're working on the next project.
So I always thought that there was a place where I would be like, “Yeah, I'm so accomplished, I'm just going to plan it and then we're going to crush it, and then success,” and I can tell you, I've never found that. All that has happened to me is I have ended up back in the suck with more people around me, with more, I don't know, with bigger stakes and bigger projects and more people and resources, but it's still the same. There's the planning and there's success and in the middle it feels like failure, and I just think that that's true.
So anyway, but I wanted to get that out there because just because you feel like you're not a good manager, that doesn't mean that you're not crushing it. It doesn't. I'm not trying to talk … Some people are not good managers and that's okay. I think that's another part of it is that's not a mark on you as a person. I think a lot of times they wrap their self-identity up in it and it's like, “I'm not a good practice manager, so I'm a failure as a person.” No. I know I would not be a good practice manager. I know I would not be a good practice manager. I am just not detail-oriented. I'm a great vision guy, I'm a great cheerleader man. I can fire people up, but as far as the nuts and bolts of running the practice day, that's not my skillset.
We always say, “Don't ask a dolphin to climb a tree.” Man, I'm a dolphin. I'm creative and fun and can get people excited and things like that, but man, don't ask me to climb a tree. Don't ask me to put in the mundane org work that has to happen because I'm just not built for that. If I look at that, I can look at that and say, “Well, I'm not that good as a leader.” I go, “No, that's not true. That's just not who I am.” So anyway, that's two different ideas that sometimes you're great and it doesn't feel that way, and sometimes this is not for you and that's also fine.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, I think that's part of the headspace work for me in terms of the looking at yourself and doing some self-reflection is this is a person who clearly cares about their job and they want to do well. So when I look at what they sent us, they were concerned about not having gotten to do any of the big things and about the team grumbling about them not getting to do the things that they said they were going to do when they took the job. So I think part of the headspace is really looking at yourself because it is a hard question, and I agree with you. Not everybody can be a manager.
What the job actually is, I have yet, I have yet to see very many hospitals. I've seen a few, but it is very few and far between where they actually get it right when it comes to explaining to people what the job actually is. So I think that there are a lot of people who get, especially in this kind of situation, where they get promoted into the job, part of the job process is even figuring out what the hell the job is. So a lot of times, practice owners are like, “Hey, I need a manager and you're an amazing technician and everybody gets along really well with you, and so I'm going to promote you.” Well, what is the job actually? A lot of times the vision for what an owner wants and the vision that a manager has might not be the same thing. They might share some commonality.
So part of it is going through that headspace log of figuring out, “Okay. Have you been doing the job long enough? If you've been in it for a year, year and a half, you should know what is the job.” Then it's the self-work to look at it and say, “Can I actually do this? Do I like managing people? Do I like managing conflict? Do I like the day-to-day often mundane task-driven work that a manager has to do?” Is that your jam? If the answer is no, that's okay because it is not for everybody.
Some of it is about figuring that out for yourself, and some of it is figuring out for yourself if maybe you do want to do the job and maybe you are good at the job, and I would guess from the info that we have that this is a person who actually is in a position where it just hasn't gone according to plan, and so they're beating themselves up and feeling like a failure. That's a different plan of attack in terms of trying to address it. So I think from a headspace perspective, for me, part of it is sitting down and doing some of the self-reflection and figuring out what is actually bothering you.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, no, I think that's good.

Stephanie Goss:
Do you think that you're doing a bad job or is it that you're just feeling like you haven't accomplished the things? Because that's a different plan of attack.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Well, I still think that that's really hard because you never know. I say this from experience. There's so many times that I sit back and I go, “Am I …” I had this today talking to people who are good people and very smart and very capable, and I thought, “Am I not explaining myself well? Are they not hearing what I'm saying? Are they missing something? Am I not communicating this way?” I don't know. “Did I talk to a group of people that did not include these other people and I just assumed that they were … Did I have seven conversations with Stephanie Goss and assume that I had seven conversations with the rest of the team, but in reality I only talked to Goss again and again and again and thought I told everybody?” I could see that happening. Again, honestly, I trust these people and they're like, “Andy, this is news to us,” and there's more than one of them.
I'm like, “Okay. I know you guys and you are telling me I didn't communicate this,” but I don't know, and I'm like, “Did I not say it?” So I've been doing this a long time and I generally feel like I'm a pretty darn good communicator and I've gotten that feedback and yet still I go, “Is it me? Is it them? Is it some combination of the two?” I don't know. I don't think any of us … You never know. When you try to lead a group and you struggle, there's always this question of, “Is it them? Is it me? Is it communication between us? Is it unrealistic expectations, unclear expectations? What is this?” That uncertainty I really do think is a defining part of leading people. God, it makes it really hard to know, “I'm good at this,” or, “I'm not good at this,” because you'll always wrestle back and forth.
I was flying back right last night from Colorado and I was trying to change flights. So the guy was unloading one flight and he hadn't opened up the other flight that I was trying to get on. So I was trying to move me and J forward because we had a long layover and there was another flight and I was like, “Oh, we can get on that flight.” He was like, “Sir, I'm unloading this plane. I haven't opened up the other plane. I'll talk to you when I open up the other plane. It'll be about 12, 15 minutes.” I was like, “Great, no problem.”
So I stood there, and the number of times that I stood there and heard him say, “Connecting flights are on the board,” only to have two different people come up to him and say, “Do you know where my connection is?” He was like, “It's on the board right there.” It occurred to me how much of that guy's job was telling people something very clearly and then telling them again and telling them again. I don't think he was doing a bad job of making them aware that there were connections on the board, and there was signage and everything, and yet he still spent eight of the 12 minutes telling people about the board. I'm like, “I don't think there's anything wrong.” I think some of it is just what it means to work with human beings.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes. Well, it's like at Disney when somebody comes up and asks you, “What time is the noon parade?” “It's at 12:00 noon, ma'am, and it's going to happen right here,” and you say it with a smile on your face because that's just like … It is about communication and processing and being human beings and being overwhelmed and overstimulated. The airport's a great example of that where people are just they're overwhelmed and overstimulated and they're not thinking straight. Sometimes the things that come out of your mouth, there is a disconnect, and other times there's not.
So I think you hit on two things from a headspace perspective. For me, the communication piece is certainly part of it, but you brought up expectations, and I think that's really important because I think part of the headspace for this manager really needs to be looking at three sets of expectations. One is their expectations for themselves. I think a lot of disappointment can come from that. The other two are the expectations of their boss.
So for me, that goes back to what was the job. Are you on the same page? Does your boss think you're doing a wonderful job? Because their expectations of you are different from your expectations for yourself because there can be a lot of disconnect there. Then the third that they brought up in their email was the expectations of the team, and they were involved in that process because that goes back to your communication. So if they had conversations with their fellow techs, “Hey, I'm super excited because I really want us to be able to have regular flex … I want to be able to have flexible scheduling,” or, “I'm really excited to work on doing your staff schedules further out.” If they had those communications with their teammates, even if they didn't say, “This is a thing that I'm going to accomplish when I take the job,” having the conversation could have set expectations in the minds of their teammates, “Oh, hey, she's talking to us about this,” or, “He's talking to us about this. That must mean this is a thing that they're going to work on.”
We tell ourselves stories all the time. So it's entirely possible that their team is like, “Oh, she said this thing one time in conversation, and so if that doesn't happen in the first six months, she has failed to meet our expectations.” Well, did you actually set that expectation or was that a story that they told themselves in their head? So I think part of it is looking at what were the expectations that you set for yourself? What were the expectations that you set with your boss, and what were the expectations that you set for your team?
I think that one of the mistakes that I made over and over again as a leader was feeling like I started a thing and I set expectations, and lot of times I felt like I failed to meet those expectations and I would just slog through it and try and make up for it because nobody ever told me that this was a thing, but somewhere along the line, I told myself the story I couldn't possibly reset expectations. I don't know why that didn't occur to me, but there was just something in my brain that was like, “This is what you committed to doing, so this is what you've got to figure out how to deliver,” and it never occurred to me on multiple occasions to just say, “Oh, hey, wait a second. This has occurred. We're changing course, and let's reset the expectations.”
It's so silly because it's not hard to do, and I think for me it was a pride thing, I think, and also an integrity and a dedication and so much of my self-identity when I was managing was wrapped up in my work as a manager. So for me it was like, “I committed to this thing and if I don't deliver, I am failing.” That was the story that I was telling myself in my head when really I was setting the expectations in my head, they were not the same expectations necessarily as my boss or my teammate. If I had stopped and asked what was their expectation, I would've gotten a whole lot of clarity that would've saved myself a lot of heartbreak, but I didn't over and over and over again and I just bullheaded dove into it and was like, “I'm just going to fix this.”
I really wish that I had stopped on more than one occasion and said, “Wait a second. What were the expectations that were set here?” and said, “Okay. Hey, this was the expectation. Let's reset the expectation.” So I think that the expectation piece is a really important part of the headspace and asking that question, and if you don't know the answer, I think that's where the conversation starts is sit down and ask what their expectation is.

Dr. Andy Roark:
So I want to jump onto these because I really liked the way you broke this down, so expectations of yourself. The big things I would say is we just talked about sometimes you feel like you're struggling and it's because other people are hard to manage or you're not getting traction or whatever. I do think, and this is a screw job, the screw job is you cannot control other people. You can't.

Stephanie Goss:
True.

Dr. Andy Roark:
At the same time, if you really want to be good and you want to continue to grow, you should take as much ownership as you can, which means you are always saying, “Could I be better? Clearly, I did not communicate this.” I thought about that last night when I'm standing there and people are coming off the plane, I'm like, “What could they do?” because this guy's time is really being taken and it's not like the next flight's going to be better, it's going to be the exact same thing again. I'm like, “What could we do?”
So you should have those thoughts of, “What can I own here? What can I try to make better?” I think expectations of ourself is really important. I see again and again that people don't. They don't get clear expectations communicated to them from their boss, and that's sad. We only have limited control of that. So if you work with a medical director, say, you're a manager medical director team, and the medical director's like, “I don't know what you're supposed to be doing. I'm doing medicine with the doctors and you're running the techs and I don't know what you're supposed to do.” You go, “I can't work with that,” and there's nothing you can do there or your director's not giving you clear feedback or they're not there enough to give you that feedback. I see a lot of people there who are like, “I don't know what the expectations are.”
The truth is, the truth is the people who you're supposed to be answering to, they don't know what the expectations are for you either. They don't feel empowered to make them or they haven't put in the time to solidify them or whatever. So anyway, you end up in this place where you're saying, “What are my expectations for myself?” I go, “Well, the hard truth is you should always push yourself to get better.” A lot of us are going to have to figure out how to get intrinsically validated, meaning you have to figure out what it means to be a good manager and what is sustainable. Man, that takes some time. It takes some time to … You have to know what's realistic. So anyway, I really love your expectations of yourself, and I think a lot of people have to work on that.
The expectations of the bosses, I just want to validate you there as well is to say a lot of times we make assumptions of what people's expectations are. I've run into this many, many times in my career with people that have worked for me is that they make assumptions about what is important to me or what I want. These are good, hardworking people. Guys, a lot of times, sometimes their expectations are lower than mine. Sometimes they're like, “I thought you'd be cool with it.” That happens much less often than people who are like, “I thought you wanted this building built in gold in a week.” I'm like, “No, just wanted it done.”
I had a conversation with one of our teammates not long ago, a couple weeks ago, and she came to me and she was like, “I am failing,” and I was like, “What are you talking about? You're killing it. I'm not sure what metrics you're looking at, but you're employee of the month,” and she's like, “I failed you,” and I was like, “What?” She's like, “You make me self-conscious.” I'm like, “I wish I was as good as she is.”
It was just she had set these expectations of being all things to all people and doing superhuman work. I was like, “Good God, if I ever led you to believe that I expected you to be able to do all of these things in this short time, I'm so sorry. I've clearly failed you,” but I think the best thing she could do was come to me and say … I always said I pushed a lot of good people this way, and this is something I've screwed up is that I try to empower people and I expect a lot out of people I do and I'm like, “I expect you guys to work hard, do good work,” and I hire great people and try to give them the tools and support them, and I need people to push back sometimes because I can say I'm busy and I talk about what's important and you can get me excited about things that we could do and things like that.
I need you to come back to me and say, “Well, these are the things that I'm working on. What are your expectations? What are your priorities?” and have that conversation with me, but I have burned good employees out before, not by cracking the whip, but just by being excited about what they were doing and assuming that they would tell me when they were like, “Hey, look, I'm really at capacity,” or to say, “What do you want me to stop doing so that I can take this on?” I try to coach people to use that language like, “These are the things that I'm working on right now. Where does this fit into the priority list?” or, “What do you want me to put on pause in order to get this done?”
I expect people to do that, but I've had people who are great who did not do that, and I didn't realize how much they were doing or what they thought the expectations were until they were really burned out and then I kicked myself pretty hard about that and try to bring them back from the edge, but that's tough. So anyway, expectations of your boss, I think you're right.
The last is expectations of the team. There's that old saying that I really like, “I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to make everyone happy.” There's a lot of truth to that. So managing expectations of the team is a skill that we have to learn. I have seen really good people shoot themselves in the foot by talking about what was going to happen and what they were going to do and then the timeline isn't what it should be.
I have been that leader. I have 100% talked excitedly about what we were doing and where we were going, and then life happens and you get bogged down in details. I'll tell you an example of this. I was talking to my daughter when we were traveling, so we had a lot of car time and she asked me, she's like, “What happens in Game of Thrones?” and I was like, “Buckle up because we got a long drive.” So I gave her the … I basically narrated Game of Thrones as I remember it, and I don't have a good memory, but basically narrated Game of Thrones.
The way I told her about Daenerys Targaryen, I was like, “All right, so she's got these dragons and she's freeing slaves and making the world better,” and then she just gets bogged down with a bunch of knuckleheads that don't want to listen, and they've all got their own stuff and they whine and they underscore, and she's like … Basically, she's got a toxic employee in there. “Finally, all she wanted to do was free the slaves and make the world a better place to be,” and J was like, “What happened? She went crazy and killed everybody.”

Stephanie Goss:
Set the world on fire.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Set the world on fire. Basically, that's the story of many, many modern managers. There's a lot of people who are like, “This is terrible, but also I get it. I get where she's coming from.” So anyway, sorry, I just ruined Game of Thrones for a lot of people, but that's-

Stephanie Goss:
I've never seen it and you did not ruin it for me.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Now, you'll watch it with a different lens. You'll be like, “There she is as the young bright-eyed manager-

Stephanie Goss:
Burning the world down.

Dr. Andy Roark:
She's got big plans for her practice, and that's season two. Season one's not as happy, but season two.

Stephanie Goss:
Here's the thing. I love what you said about setting the expectations with your boss, and I think that that conversation is really important. The other thing that I want to throw out is I'll use you and I as an example. A, we've both been doing our independent jobs in leading for a long time, and we've been working together for a long time, and still, we have to have those conversations sometimes. In fact, just before you were getting ready to leave, I was like, “Oh, hey, hi. I feel like we just had this team meeting and now there's all these things we're excited about.” When we're recording this, I'm getting ready to go on vacation too and I was like, “I have a very limited window of time, and now I feel like I have six weeks worth of work that I'm trying to cram into two days. What would you like me to prioritize on this list because I'm not going to be able to get to it all?”
You guys, I'll tell you, I've been doing this a really long time and I think Andy and I communicate really well. It doesn't mean that my palms don't get sweaty. It doesn't mean that I don't get anxious about having the conversation, and it doesn't mean that we don't stumble our way through it. That's one of the things you and I both like to talk about is the fact that let's talk about this more because we do screw it up and people will say to me, “You managed for a really long time and you have all the things figured out.” I don't have it all figured out. When I saw this letter, I thought about my last practice that I was in before you and I started working together full-time, Andy, because it was a practice that I walked into, and the expectations piece really stood out to me here because I walked into it and it needed a lot of work. It had been a little neglected, a little abandoned, but I was like, “I have the skills. I feel confident that I can tackle this,” and in my mind I was like, “This is a two-year turnaround.”
So I was really upfront with them. I was like, “This is going to be … Rome was not built in a day. This is going to take me at least two years to turn this practice around, and here's the list of things that are going to need to happen.” I set expectations from the beginning and I thought I set really good expectations, and I got into that middle and I realized, “Oh, this is a five-year turnaround. This is not a two-year turnaround.” I'm uncovering things, I'm unburying the truth. I'm like, “It's a little bit of a dumpster fire. It can still be put out and it can be pretty, but this is going to take longer.”
What I didn't do was go back and reset those expectations and say, “Hey, hi, here's where we're at and this is going to lengthen the runway.” I pushed myself and my team to try and hit that original goal and I made a lot of mistakes in the process. So I think the thing to keep in mind is that this is not exclusive to a new manager. It is not exclusive to … As someone who's been managing for a really long time, everybody faces this. So I think the headspace piece of you aren't alone in this, and it doesn't matter that you've been a manager for a hot minute or for 15 years, it's about setting those expectations.
I think that piece of it really resonated with me is you can stop. You can go back and say, “Whoa, time out. We're going to pause and let's reset the expectations,” whether it's with yourself, whether it's with your boss or whether it's with the team as a whole. To your point that sometimes you have those conversations with your team and people read that to be commitments that you weren't necessarily making as commitments, and so it's like, “Okay. Hey, I know we had …” and a lot of people are like, “Okay, but how do you do that?”
So when we get to the how to part, I want to talk about that a little bit because it is hard, but it also is really easy at the same time. I think it's hard because we build it up in our head so much to be like, “Ooh, I have to have this hard conversation and take back these things that I said I was giving to my team.” You don't have to take anything back. You can still commit to them to doing the things. It's about setting expectations and whether that expectation is for the timeline or what it actually looks like, it's about changing those expectations, I think.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I agree. All right. Let's take a quick break and let's bust into some action steps here because there's a couple I just want to lay down.

Stephanie Goss:
Let's do it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I think we've talked through a lot of the headspace. I think we got into how you handle this, but I'm want to try to lay down some extra steps.

Stephanie Goss:
All right. Let's do it.
Hey, friends, are you a veterinary practice owner? No? Well, are you a veterinary practice manager? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, I want you to keep listening. If it's not yes, you can take a quick pee break or get some water before we head back into the podcast because I've got something for my practice owners and my practice managers. We are hosting our first ever practice leader summit, and if you're not an owner, a manager, and you're still listening and you're thinking, “But I'm a practice leader,” don't worry, we've got you. We've got more events coming, but this first one is happening in December in Greenville, South Carolina. It will be decorated for the holidays. We are going to come together.
Now, we're going to come together, but we're going to be separate. What are you talking about, Stephanie? Well, Andy and I have planned a whole bunch of new content with our team, and we are excited to bring managers together to talk to other managers and owners together to talk to other practice owners, and then we're going to put everybody together and we are going to get to work. That's right. We are going to work on our practices. Our ideal hope would be that manager and owner combos can come together, but we recognize that won't work for some practices. So we have plans to hook you up with other owners and managers if you're coming solo on either side. So don't worry, but don't delay. Head over to the website at unchartedvet.com/events because we want to see you there and that means you have to sign up because this will sell out. Don't miss your chance to come work on your practice with your practice owner, with your practice manager. You can find out more information, including a letter that you can use to convince your boss if you are a practice manager or maybe practice owners, some reverse psychology to use on your manager, to get them to come to Greenville with you. Again, it's all up at the website at unchartedvet.com/events. Now, back to the podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
All right. Let's jump back in, and we've got a lot of irons in the fire here. We talked a little bit about internal validation, setting expectations for yourself. Clearly, there's some communications with the practice owner and with the team to try to set some expectations because the first thing we need to do is figure out, “Am I bad at this? Am I not bad at this? How am I actually doing?” If you don't have clear expectations, you don't even really know how to get help.
So the biggest thing is I think we need to make an action plan. So let's start with an action plan here of what are we going to do. There is nothing wrong with being a year or two into a job and being like, “Hey, I would like to set up a meeting with my direct manager to discuss expectations, and I want to do an expectation,” whatever your corporate lingo is, level set, recheck, check in, whatever, “I want to review expectations.” I think that you can always sort of do that. So I think you'd make an action plan.
When you're looking at this practice, and this person said that they were new when they were coming in and they wanted to make changes and they wanted to do things, the way that I have learned to do this that I really want to emphasize is, and we talked before about the team expectations, all those things, the most common thing that I see is people get excited. I think you told a great story, which really resonated with me of, “I thought this was a two-year turnaround and then I get into it and it's a five-year turnaround.” That's okay. Sometimes we start with a plan and then we reassess.
The best plans are built on when I am going to take what I learned in this step and then set the next part of the plan. People hate that. They want you to say, “This is the plan from number one all the way to the end,” and that's lunacy. I fight with people all the time about it when they're like, “Andy, lay down.” Don't laugh too hard, Goss. They're like, “Andy, we need a plan for this project,” and I'm like, “You cannot make a plan until you talk to the team and figure out what the problem that's causing this issue is, and I cannot give you a plan that's worth the paper it's written on until I know why is this happening. Then when I know why it's happening, then I can give you a plan, but it's probably there's going to be a stretch and we're going to do stuff, and then we're going to reassess and decide what the next phase is going to be based on what we've accomplished so far,” but people, God, they don't want that. They want you to lay down two years that are not going to waver or change, and it's lunacy.
So anyway, the way that I have approached this, that I teach people to approach it, that it's really been life-changing for me is when you go in and you're like, “I am the new manager here and these are the things that I want to accomplish,” my question to you is, what does done look like? Explain to me what this looks like when it's finished. Really, and I'm serious about that question, if you immediately gave me an answer, you probably have not thought enough about this. I want you to really sit down and write down for me what does done look like, not what does perfect look like, and I have to hammer that on people's minds too. They're like, “There'll be this amazing thing, and blah, blah, blah,” and I go, “Look, if you can get to perfect, that's awesome.” Most of us are never going to get to perfect. The push it takes to get from really good to perfect, the juice ain't worth the squeeze. Get really good and then go fix another significant problem.
One day, you'll go, “I can maybe go from really good to perfect.” Most of us, it's not even worth planning that. So just what does good look like? Then once we get good, let's deal with the other things that are on fire. Then ultimately, we'll come back and try to go from good to great. Anyway, what does done look like? So figure that out, and then think about where you are now and think about done and make me some action steps that are going to get you from where you are now to done, and then take those action steps and put them on the calendar, knowing that you're going to have to figure some things out and that's going to take time.
If you do this and this process of going through the steps and then putting the steps onto the calendar, it makes you look at how much time this is really going to take, and it is amazing how many projects you're like, “This will take six weeks.” When you figure out what done looks like and you break it up in steps and you put those steps on the calendar, and this one can't start until the last one is done, it ain't six weeks, it's six months and you go, “Wow.”
The truth is nobody cares. Nobody cares it's six months instead of six weeks. They want it done. The truth is, when you zoom out and you look at your practice and your life, the difference in six weeks and six months is nothing and nobody cares as long as you're making progress. If they don't see progress happening, they'll start to care. Again, this is another thing where we have communication and say, “Hey, these are the expectations. This is the timeline we're working on.”
You can talk to your team about what you want to get done, and they do not have any expectation of time. We are all children. We're like, “I want it now.” When you say, “This is the plan and this is on the calendar and you can see that a year from now we will have made these strides,” they will go, “Oh, a year? Nah,” and then they'll get over it and they'll leave you alone because there's a plan and the plan is going forward, but guys, I hope that doesn't sound too goofy for you, but it is absolutely true. Take the time, lay down the plan, say, “This is what we're going to do in the next year.”
People will grit their teeth and then they'll let it go. As long as they see you making progress and they know that there's a plan, they will be happy, but guys, the number one way that we screw ourselves over is we say we are going to do it, and we don't set a timeline so everyone assumes three months is we can make magic happen in three months or we set a way too aggressive timeline, and then it doesn't matter that we're making progress because everyone views it as failure. You can do amazing work, but your three months pass when this project was supposed to be done and everybody thinks you're awful.
It's the same thing as when we deal with clients, and I say the number one way that doctors screw themselves is they get on the phone and they're like, “I'll call you right back.” It's like, “No, you won't, dude. You'll call before you go home at the end of the day. Why are you saying it?” “I'll call you first thing in the morning with the blood work results,” and it's like, great, if everything goes perfect, you will meet expectations. Why did you do that? Tell them you'll call them in 72 hours and then call them tomorrow morning and you're amazing, but we want to make people happy so we just say to them what they want to hear, which is, “I will get this done immediately,” and it's like, “Stop trying to make them happy and just be honest about what you're up against and set realistic expectations.”
So anyway, that is my number one thing. I use that tool all the time, but my life got a lot better when I started working backwards and saying, “This is the timeline that I'm looking at,” and you can show it to people and when they look at the timeline, they'll go, “Yeah, I get it. That looks right.”

Stephanie Goss:
The other thing that I would add on to that because that was very similar to my process in the clinic as well, and I used a big, giant dry erase calendar so that I could literally see all 12 months on a big sheet and work my way backwards. The other thing that you have to keep in mind is you have to leave space for the fires because if you jam the whole plan into the calendar and you leave no wiggle room, the fact is we're dealing with human beings. There is always going to be a fire. Someone is always going to quit. You are going to have a client catastrophe.
Something is going to happen, and if you make the mistake of jamming it over and over and over again, as we have said a million times on the podcast, you've created a new business model, and it is that you're leaving no margin for error, and that is a big mistake that I made repeatedly as a manager, particularly when I was a young manager, is to overestimate, to your point, what I could accomplish and how fast I could accomplish it because me by myself with no outside challenges could probably sit down and bang this thing out in two hours, but me trying to help the front desk and handle the angry client and then putting out the patient fire that happens can't accomplish the thing in two hours.
Then everybody's like, “Wait, you said two hours ago you were going to finish this and it's 4:00. Why isn't it done yet?” Well, I've set myself up for that failure. So some of it is looking at what does done look like, put it all on the calendar, and then step back for a minute and really force yourself to look at that calendar and make space. It's a fine line because as we know with scheduling, we can gate keep the schedule too much and leave too much free space, but there needs to be a happy medium.
So I think for me, that last step in the process, once you've got it on the calendar and you've worked your way backwards and you've put in the action steps is where are the gaps because I'm happy. If we can accomplish something faster than we planned, we can think up another project. There's always something that you could work on with your team. So you will always be able to put that time to good use, but leave yourself the space because you're working with human beings and it will change. The plan will have to change.
So that's why I think what we talked about in the beginning, it's about setting those expectations, but did you set those expectations or did you tell yourself a story in your head? So I think it's about stepping back and looking at that and then saying to the team, “Okay. Here's what we're going to do,” and we've built some room in here. We all know that summer in the clinic is always going to be insanity. Don't try and say you're going to accomplish 10 projects in summer in the clinic. That's just lunacy. Give yourself a break. Give yourself a buffer.

Dr. Andy Roark:
In that same vein, one of the big things that was a game changer for me was breaking things up into phase one, phase two, and phase three because I said at the very beginning, I said it's ridiculous. There's things we don't know and we can't … Life happens to us. I also said what does done look like and work backwards, and you go, “Well, how do you square those things?” Phase one is say, “This is what we're going to accomplish in phase one, and then we're going to reassess and see what we learned and where we are, and then we're going to go into phase two, which is this general approach.” So anyway, all of that is set to extend your timelines, but I think, again, most of us are wildly unrealistic. So yeah, I really like your point about trying to be realistic about what we deal with.
The other thing is there's a lot of things outside of our control and new things occur that have to get dealt with. If we work in phases, yes, we'll fall behind, but it's not like this whole project is a year past date. There's a mental part to it. For a speed round to wrap up, the big things I would say is remember your why. Remember why you're here, what you care about, and I just think that it's easy to lose track of your why. So just think back on that.
The last part is if you get into this and you really decide you don't like it and you're struggling here, know that it's extremely hard for bosses, managers. They really don't want to have the conversation of demoting someone back down. If you are struggling and you're unhappy, don't wait for someone else to come and talk to you about it because it is an awkward conversation that they're going to hate to have. If you really do want to put it down, you might feel like you're letting people down a lot of times they're going to say, “Thank you. I totally understand,” and so that door can be open. I think if the person who said, “I did it, I tried it, I don't like it, I want to go back. I think that feels like failure. I think that that's ridiculous.” I don't think it is. You say, “I tried this. I didn't like it. I want to do something different.” That's it, but honestly, the easiest thing is for you to have that conversation and be honest about where you're at.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, because I think we think about it vertically. We go up, we can't come back down, and the reality is, I love what you just said, which is, “I tried something and I didn't like it,” or, “It wasn't a fit.” It's not up and down. It is okay to go sideways and kitty-corner. The career path is not a linear one. I think that's a mold we have to break in veterinary medicine, especially if we're going to continue to put people into positions that they don't necessarily have the skillset for. We have to recognize as leaders of leaders, I'm talking to my practice owners, to my medical directors, multi-site leaders, people who are in-charge of supervising other people, we have to recognize that it's not just the linear path, it's not just up, that there has to be space. If we're not equipping them ahead of time with the tools for somebody to do a job, try it, see if it fits, and if it's the wrong size, let them find the right size for them.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I completely agree. Good stuff. Well, that's all I got.

Stephanie Goss:
This was so fun. I enjoyed this one.

Dr. Andy Roark:
It's a good one.

Stephanie Goss:
I enjoyed this one. Take care, everybody. Have a wonderful week.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You guys, take care. Be well.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, everybody. That's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. Thanks so much for spending your time with us. We truly enjoy spending part of our week with you. As always, Andy and I enjoyed getting into this topic. I have a tiny little favor to ask. Actually, two of them. One is if you can go to wherever you source your podcast from and hit the review button and leave us a review, we love hearing your feedback and knowing what you think of the podcast. Number two, if you haven't already, hit the subscribe button. Thanks so much for listening, guys. We'll see you soon.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: fatigue, management, Technician, Training

Aug 16 2023

Lead to Thrive – The Science of Crafting a Positive Workplace with Josh Vaisman

The Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Episode 245 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, practice management geek Stephanie Goss is joined by a very special guest: former practice manager and author of the new AAHA press book Lead to Thrive – The Science of Crafting a Positive Veterinary Culture, Josh Vaisman, MAPPCP (PgD).

Josh believes all veterinary professionals deserve to feel fulfilled by their work each and every day. Through his company, Flourish Veterinary Consulting, he draws on over 20 years of veterinary experience, a master’s degree in applied Positive Psychology & Coaching Psychology, education in Positive Leadership and Positive Organizational Scholarship and a passion for guiding leaders to cultivate work environments in which people can thrive.

Fun fact – Josh is also an avid beekeeper who teaches beginning beekeepers how to tend to their buzzing buddies.

Josh and Stephanie are looking at Josh's new book through the lens of his practice management road and the journey he took to becoming a positive leader and force for good in our field. They discuss their own success and failures in an unflinchingly honest and vulnerable way. Let's get into this…

Buy Josh's New Book – Lead to Thrive here (AAHA MEMBERSHIP NOT REQUIRED TO BUY!)

Find Josh and his team here and here!

Links for resources shared by Josh during the episode

Adam Grant's website (including book links)

Martin Seligman's website (including book links)

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 245 – Lead To Thrive – The Science Of Crafting A Positive Workplace With Josh Vaisman

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to role play on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast. Head over to the mailbag and submit it here

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
Hey everybody! I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of The Uncharted Podcast. Today I am joined by a very special guest, my dear friend and colleague, Josh Vaisman. Josh is joining me to talk about his journey as a leader and how do we lead to thrive. He's got a new book out that has the title, coincidentally has the same name, and he and I are talking through the science of crafting a positive workplace. It ties directly to Josh's journey as leader. And I had so much fun talking through this journey that he has been on and just having a conversation with a dear friend. I would love for you to join me. And now let's get into this.

Speaker 2:
And now The Uncharted Podcast.

Stephanie Goss:
And we are back. It is me, myself, and I, Andy is on vacation this week; however, fear not, friends because I am so, so excited to bring a conversation to you with my friend Josh Vaisman, who is here joining me on the podcast today. Hi Josh.

Josh Vaisman:
Hey, Stephanie. I just want to say really quickly, I'm so sorry, but Andy is on vacation. It's like 105 degrees here in Colorado, and you're in a closet. Something doesn't seem right in the universe.

Stephanie Goss:
You hear that, Andy Roark? I think Josh is saying that I should be let out of the closet more often, although I do not want to be in 105 degree Denver weather either, because that's gross.

Josh Vaisman:
No, not fun, man. Not fun.

Stephanie Goss:
How are you, friend? I feel like I'm really excited to see your face and talk to you. And also I feel like my cup is still full because I just got to spend a whole bunch of time with you at AVMA recently, which was amazing.

Josh Vaisman:
It was amazing. I was literally going to say the same thing. I'm still seriously walking through life on a high from that event. Seeing you and just like all of the, gosh, there are so many really, really good human beings trying really hard to do really good things for the profession and getting to spend that much time with so many of them in one space, it's just such a heart filler. It was pretty awesome.

Stephanie Goss:
And you had extra special, amazing time at AVMA because, so for those who don't know, I am bringing Josh to you for so many reasons, least of which is that he's just an amazing human being. And if you don't know who Josh is, you need to check out the link to find him in the show notes because he's amazing in doing wonderful things in our profession, and he is smart, and he wrote a book and it is fantastic.
I am not all the way through yet. I started reading it on the plane on the way home from Denver, but Josh had his book launch party at AVMA and it was so fun because Josh knows all of the great human beings in veterinary medicine, and they were all in one room at AVMA to celebrate you. And it was so much fun to have the energy in that room and to see all of, like you said, the people who really care about making a positive difference in veterinary medicine, I feel like in one place.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, it was so awesome looking out on that room and seeing such amazing humans. Yeah, it was pretty cool, cool experience.

Stephanie Goss:
And there was lots of fun too because your team helped decorate with googly eyes all over the place, which was so fun.

Josh Vaisman:
Okay, so since we're in the business of outing here, I'm going to out one of the infamous Uncharted members, Dr. Sarah Wolfe, whose idea sparked a movement, #AVMAGooglyEyes. It was-

Stephanie Goss:
Is that really a thing? I have not seen that hashtag. Oh, I need to go down that rabbit hole now.

Josh Vaisman:
We definitely did it. We definitely did our best to represent the hashtag well throughout the conference.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. I love it so much because it's very Sarah, it's very Uncharted. We have our own several things. We have the Janelle Hutton challenge, where everybody tries to catch Andy in the background and point at him and their selfie without him noticing you. And so that is right on brand for us to have the googly eyes. This does not surprise me one bit that Sarah was involved in that.

Josh Vaisman:
Oh my god, it was so fun. It just made AVMA that much better.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, I'm going to have to go down that rabbit hole and view things on social media, but so you and I have known each other for a while and I want to make sure that our listeners who maybe they haven't heard of you or they didn't know that you have a book out, so let's start there. Tell us a little bit about you, your background in veterinary medicine, because really you are a positive, wonderful human being, and I know that you would be that way without veterinary medicine, but tell me how you got to where you are in vet med and how you got so excited about creating a positive culture, because that is really a drive for you.

Josh Vaisman:
Big time drive. Well, Stephanie, I'm a Pisces who enjoys leisurely walks and … Yeah, so I-

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my God, your microphone is going to make you sound so fantastic right there. I love it so much.

Josh Vaisman:
I sort of stumbled into veterinary medicine. I had moved to Colorado from Wisconsin actually in the late '90s, and I was working at a PetSmart in Boulder, Colorado. I was in the specialty department, so I was the guy that you saw about the fish.

Stephanie Goss:
Love it.

Josh Vaisman:
And we had a PetSmart Veterinary Services in our building, which is dating myself pretty well now. I got really intrigued by what they were doing over there. I sort of befriended the chief of staff and some of the team members and started to have these ideas that maybe I'd want to go to vet school someday. I like to think of it as the time in my life where I had a psychotic break. I have since been disabused of this troublesome mindset, but I thought if I'm going to go to vet school, I should probably know what it's like to work in a veterinary hospital. And I walked over there and I asked if I could volunteer on my days off, and they were like, no, we can't really do that, but we can hire you. Which was a surprise.
So I switched from PetSmart to PetSmart Veterinary Services and was trained as a technician assistant and worked there for a number of years, and that was in '98. So that's how I started in vet med. I just immediately fell in love with it. Obviously the animals part, we have a small menagerie of creatures in our home, and animals have been a central part of my life for as long as I can remember. But the truth is it was really the people that drew me in. The people that come to work in veterinary medicine are a special kind, and you can take that as a double entendre as far as you'd like, really some of the very best people.
Like that laugh that you just had is such a common thing in a veterinary space. And to be able to be that real and that raw and that joyful and that vulnerable and be around people who are like that is, oh God, it's just such a good feeling. And so it stuck with me, and I did that for quite a while. A few different hospitals all around Colorado, pretty much all small animal, most of it GP, a little bit of ER work. And then one day a hospital that I had worked at was sold to a veterinarian and a vet tech, and that was the first time that it occurred to me that you don't have to have DVM, or sorry, VMD after your name to own a veterinary hospital, at least in the state of Colorado.
This was like mid 2000s and I'm making maybe $9 an hour or 9.50 or something like that. And I walked into the doctor's office and I sat down next to one of the associates there and I was like, “I feel like we could do this. You want to buy a vet hospital with me?” And six months later we did that.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my God, shut up.

Josh Vaisman:
Yes. So myself and two veterinarians, I found a way to get us financing to buy a hospital that just purely coincidentally had gone up for sale publicly. It was through a brokerage, which was very uncommon in the Boulder market. It was at the time a one doctor practice that had been two to two and a half. It was kind of declining, and he was really ready to get out of ownership. And so we got in a banging deal and it was four miles from the practice that we had worked at.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, that's awesome.

Josh Vaisman:
So we had built in clientele. So we bought that practice, and over the next five plus years, we had a good bit of success. We took this hospital that was a one doctor practice, and when I left, there were four doctors on staff. We had tripled the revenue from when we bought it, all the standard metrics of success that people look at, and I felt like, “Gosh, I'm good at this. I like it. If I could do it once, I could probably do it 15 times. Maybe I should start trying to do that.” And so I ended up leaving that practice and going to another practice, bought that hospital along with a friend and business partner and a brand new startup group, so a corporate group that was just getting off the ground.
And so we all got together and bought this hospital. It was our first partnered acquisition. It was this corporate group's first acquisition, and they were raring to go to buy multiple hospitals. I got under the ground level with these guys. I thought, that's it. This is how the launch is going to start. This hospital, as I said, is about 75 miles from where I live here in Firestone, Colorado. I was going to be the managing partner of the practice and the onsite hospital director. So I started commuting to this practice 75 miles from my house every day. Hospital was open seven days a week, and I was often there-

Stephanie Goss:
Of course it was.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, of course.

Stephanie Goss:
You couldn't have picked a eight to five, four day a week GP practice.

Josh Vaisman:
Oh, gosh, no, no, no, definitely. No, no, no. We picked the seven day a week extended hours, sort of like pseudo defacto emergency facility in the area. And vastly underperforming financially and culturally a pretty big mess. So all of the, I'm using air quotes, “opportunities.”

Stephanie Goss:
The dumpster fire that was awaiting you.

Josh Vaisman:
The dumpster fire that was awaiting me. Now, keep in mind though, I was really excited. I thought this was an opportunity not just for a business venture, but really to make a difference in the lives of 40 people working there and in the community. And that's really what I got most excited about. So I dove in, I dove in headfirst, and I really tried to turn that place around as best I could.
Now, the first year that we owned the hospital, we did the highest gross that that practice had ever done in its 34-year history. So on one side of the coin, you could say, “Wow, it was a success.” What I've sort of come to realize is that success can be defined in a whole variety of ways, and the way that I'm defining it these days is very different than I defined it those days. Yeah, I just completely obliterated myself and some of that, at the time there was definitely a bit of the finger pointing and the blame game. I pointed fingers at my partners and I pointed fingers at the community and I pointed fingers at people on the team, the prior owner who stuck around and felt like he had to keep an eye on me, all that kind of stuff.
But the truth is that I really allowed myself to be in that a position where I started to create a mind story of what I thought people wanted, in particular my business partners who had invested so much time and energy and money into this venture and put me in charge of it. And I allowed myself to start making decisions that put what I thought were the values in that head story ahead of my own values. And what that ultimately resulted in was me harming people and harming myself in the name of the bottom line. And it worked for a while until it didn't.

Stephanie Goss:
As it does, yeah.

Josh Vaisman:
I completely broke down, like the ugly on the kitchen floor crying one morning, total breakdown for literally no apparent reason as I'm getting ready to get in my car and make the drive yet again. It took me a while to realize that I didn't have to be in that space. That was in March. I didn't actually leave that practice and that partnership for another six months.
But when I finally did, because I knew that I wasn't going to get healthy if I didn't separate myself from the environment that was contributing to it, when I finally did, I had a realization that business is a human endeavor and there is no such thing as business without people. And as the people go, so goes the business. And I had put the business ahead of the humans, and I was never going to do that again. And so at first I wasn't really sure if I was ever going to come back to vet med.

Stephanie Goss:
I totally can empathize with that and understand that because a hard space to be, and it's real easy to look outside of ourselves and be like, “This is a hot mess. Maybe I'll just go find a less hot mess place to live.”

Josh Vaisman:
Right. Maybe there's something that's, I don't know, let's go with warm and mildly disorganized. That would be an improvement. You say that and the sense that I get when you empathize with what I just shared, the sense that I get is that maybe you've been in a place like that before?

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. It's funny because as I'm listening to you tell your story and will save mine for another day. But yes, 100%. And I think so many people I've met in veterinary medicine have gone in some way, shape or form through what you're talking about and what you're describing. And your story is a familiar one because so many people, nobody gets into veterinary medicine for the money. Everybody is here for the patients, for the people both. You and I are very similar in that we're here for the people. And of course I love the animals and love the why of what we do to take care of the animals.
But for me it was always about the people as well. And recognizing in yourself, and I've talked about it on the podcast, it took me a lot of therapy to get to a healthy place where I stopped beating myself up for the times when I did make the mistakes and stop putting the humans before the business. I think that's something that's really easy to forget and for a myriad of reasons, least of which is “I'm intentionally.” I don't think I ever was the person that's like I'm putting money ahead of the people on my team, but there's always some reasons like well, I want to hire more people, so I want to make more money so that we can take care of more people.
And that is good intention, but when you focus on that to the exclusion of all else, it still puts the people behind. And so I a hundred percent know what you're talking about and have been there in that place where it's like I don't really like myself very much and what I'm doing here, and really it's funny because since doing the work that I get to do with Uncharted and the changes that have happened with my career in the last few years, I have so many people tell me, and I'm sure you do too, because you're a very positive person. I have a lot of people who are just like, “You're so good at what you do.” And I'm like, “I'm real bad at what I do. I think I'm just real good at being honest about it. Stop trying to put me on a pedestal when it comes to managing because I've screwed up just as many ways as I've done it right.”
And so for hearing you and recognizing that, it takes a lot to not just walk away and that is the piece that I feel the most because I was right there with you. Maybe I just really shouldn't be doing this. Maybe I just suck that much at this and I should go find … I had a career outside of vet med, before vet med, and do I leave altogether and go find something else that I can harm other people less and harm myself less doing? So that place on your kitchen floor, I feel that, Josh.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah. Gosh, thank you for sharing that with me. It's very validating to hear somebody with your level of success and where you stand in the community now, share that experience that mirrors a lot of what I went through. You said you started to question if maybe you're not that good at this and maybe I should go find something else to do. I distinctly recall saying to myself, “I don't belong here. I really don't. They don't want me.” Gosh, that one really hit me.
So I separated myself from all of that for a while and then it gave me the space to start exploring things, and that's when I really started taking a deep dive into, at first it was Shawn Achor's work, his book, The Happiness Advantage and some of that, and then that turned me on to Martin Seligman and Applied Positive Psychology, and I took a few Coursera courses on that put on by the University of Pennsylvania with him and Angela Duckworth and Karen Reivich and the titans of positive psychology, and it just kept ringing in my head, this is what we're missing.
This is what we need. I had this realization, I think this is going to resonate with you. You said it wasn't like you ever sat there and thought, “Okay, I'm going to make the people second. The money's …” But you never did that. You, I'm certain, have always had people's best intentions in mind as, I have come to realize, almost every single person in veterinary leadership that I have met over the last several years, and I've met a lot of people over the last several years. I can count on one hand the number of people that I can confidently say they don't have good intentions in veterinary medicine. Almost everybody is trying to do the very best they can each and every day with what they have to uplift, support, amplify, benefit the people around them. And no one's ever taught us how to do it.
No one ever taught me, I stumbled into it. Nobody ever taught you. Nobody teaches us. We learn all of these great technical skills, but nobody actually teaches us. How do we actually create an environment that allows people to not just survive, but actually thrive in and through the work that they do? No one ever taught us. And it felt to me like positive psychology had something special to share. I love it. And so that's been my mission ever since then. That's why we started Flourish Veterinary Consulting. That's why we do the work that we do through our organization. That's why I wrote the book is I really want to empower everybody in a leadership position, whether that's by title or in formal leadership.
You're the RVT who's worked in the hospital for 15 years and I don't ever want to be a manager, but everybody on the team comes to you. Guess what? You're a leader. You're an associate veterinarian who just graduated just past your board and is starting your first ever job. Guess what? You got a license. You're the tip of the healthcare sphere. You're a leader. Like anybody who's in that position, I want to make sure that they've got tangible evidence-based skills to create the kind of environment that actually allows people to be at their best. And hey, what do you know? Everything else gets better when that happens.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my gosh, I love it so much. And there's so much to unpack there, and this podcast could be like nine hours long. But so what I really want to do, I want everybody who's listening to go and buy your book and we'll drop that at the end where they can find it. Because like I said, I'm reading it and I sent you an email right after I started it because you guys, I think I got maybe a chapter and a half or two chapters in and I was so impressed because I could hear you, Josh, in my head, but I also loved that I was reading it and I have done a lot of work, but I will say I have read some of the authors that you were mentioning, but the positive psychology piece is definitely not my realm of education.
And when I was reading it, I didn't feel dumb and I felt like you were speaking my language and you were saying things that I could feel in any position in the practice and that it would resonate with. And so that's just one of the things that I have loved about it so far is that I feel like you can, whether I was in my CSR role and I could have picked up this book and read it, or I could be in the kennel and just wanting to learn more about working in a good environment and pick up this book and least of all be a practice owner or practice manager whose job it is to make sure that you believe in things like this.
I think it's a tool for everybody, but will you tell us a little bit about the basics of, because positive psychology is a phrase that is getting more attention in veterinary medicine, and I'm so glad that it is, and I also think that it's used very interchangeably with positive culture and those are two radically different things, and there's a lot of work and science behind the positive psychology. Will you break that down a little bit for us? Just on a really basic level, and I think that probably ties to maybe why you wanted to write the book in the first place.

Josh Vaisman:
So I like to talk about these kinds of concepts using metaphors, and so if we think of the lived experience of just being a human being as a garden, there are things that happen in a garden. Sometimes weeds show up. You could think of those as the challenges or the bad things in life, and sometimes the weeds get, they're pretty noxious and they take over and maybe the result in the garden really not doing well and it's suffering. That could be mental health issues, things of that nature. Traditional psychology has been very interested, not always, this is not ubiquitous, I want to be very clear about this. It's not everywhere all the time, but generally speaking, there's been a heavy focus traditionally in psychological research on weed management. What are the things that we can do to make sure that the weeds don't show up, that when they show up, we can nip them in the bud, that when they get real thick and bad, that we can alleviate those problems?

Stephanie Goss:
Know how to get rid of them.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, eliminate them. That's an important part of keeping a garden. Anybody who has a garden knows that weed management is important. But let's assume that that's the only thing that you do in the garden. If the only thing we do is focus on weeds, first of all, probably not actually going to succeed. There's really no such thing as a garden that's a hundred percent absent of weeds a hundred percent of the time, and that's the truth for life. Life is hard. There are difficult things. We have this word in our lexicon called stressors for a reason because they're everywhere. Every single one of us faces stressors on a daily basis, so we're never going to get rid of all the weeds from the garden. But even if you could, let's just imagine we'll play a mental game here. We'll imagine that somebody comes up with that special spray that you spray in the garden, and never again are there weeds. Great. What's left? Dirt.
Part of gardening is also growing things. Positive psychology is interested in what are the things that we can grow in the garden? What are the nutrients we can add to them to make sure that they really thrive and flourish to their full potential, so that even in the presence of weeds, we're going to look at that garden and say, “Ah, that's a beautiful garden worth keeping.” It's the same thing with life. So positive psychology is very, very interested in what are the nutrients that add to a life worth living?

Stephanie Goss:
I love that metaphor so much because A, because I followed it and I feel not dumb and because it's midday and I've not had enough of my caffeine yet, and B, that speaks to my soul because what person, especially in a job like veterinary medicine where we genuinely get into it because we love what we do and we care about the patients, who wants a job that consists only of managing weeds? That job would suck. I don't want the job where all I'm doing is the thing, but to your point earlier, I think so many of us in leadership roles, we don't have that intention and the tools that we are given generally are focused on weed management and solely on weed management.
So most of us are not equipped to do more than look at that general psychology view of, “Okay, I know that if I have a discipline problem, these are the steps that I have to take to solve that problem.” We don't look beyond that. And that for me, in a management role in veterinary medicine, I like all the weird things that other people do. I love spreadsheets. I love all of the weird number crunching. Don't ask 4th grade Stephanie about that because I hated numbers as a kid.

Josh Vaisman:
Stephanie, I have to tell you this really quickly because Tess will not forgive me if I don't share it. Andy and I attended one of your talks at AVMA and on the slide you had, if I remember the wording, it was something along the lines of Airtable Nerd.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Josh Vaisman:
I told that to Tess and she lit up. Lit up, came alive.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it so much.

Josh Vaisman:
It's not just me.

Stephanie Goss:
No, I love spreadsheets. I love Airtable. I love all the nerdy organizational stuff and nothing devoured my soul faster than having to deal with the problem management all of the time. I got zero joy and satisfaction from that as a manager, and unfortunately I spent a lot of time doing that in veterinary medicine. To your point earlier, some of it was the circumstances of the hospital and growth and change and reaching for that bar and moving from one doctor to four and all of the normal growing pains, and I am self-aware enough and have done enough therapy to have this conversation honestly with you. A lot of it was my own making because I was just like this is the tool that I have been given and for a really long time, instead of going in search of more tools and instead of just saying, “Hey, nobody taught me how to do this, maybe I should learn.”
I was like, reach for the management tools and then go garden the hell out of that garden with the tools that I have. And unfortunately, they were the tools that were really just focused on eliminating the problems and not actually dealing with making the garden pretty and focusing on the culture and the people and that feel good thing, even though that was always my intention. I love people and I love talking to people and I love everybody being happy at work. And so of course I wanted to cultivate that, but it took me a really long time to get to the place where I understood that does not happen in a vacuum. You have to actually dedicate time and energy and resources to making that happen.
So it's one of the things that I'm really glad that you are shining a light on in veterinary medicine, because you can read a book and learn lots of things and you guys all should. I'm going to drop Josh's book link in the show notes because you mentioned some authors who I really, really enjoyed reading. And this is a thing you have to do and practice and live, and it has to be ongoing because you don't just get the beautiful garden without a ton of work.

Josh Vaisman:
100%. I totally agree.

Stephanie Goss:
Hey, friend, we have been talking a lot about how we have a bunch of new events coming in the back half of 2023 that are going to let our team share our experience that we have gleaned over the last few years working with hundreds of leaders across veterinary medicine in all kinds of different positions, from support staff to doctors to regional leaders. We have been putting together something big that is coming. I can't tell you all the details yet, but I promise you are not going to want to miss out on this big, big, big announcement that is coming soon, but not soon enough for me. So I want you to head over to uncharted vet.com/insight and sign up for the newsletter. That is the only way to make sure that you have the information as soon as it's ready to hit the presses. It is exciting and I cannot wait to share it with you.

Josh Vaisman:
I would like to validate something or at least attempt to validate something. When you talked about your experience as a manager who was sort of stuck in the cycle of weed management, you talked a bit about context, but you also talked about your own making and the tools that you had. I want to try and normalize that a bit for folks that are listening. I recognize the persona that I carry with me these days, and especially imbued in the work that I do. I can come across as the always positive, always happy person, and sometimes I also recognize that there's a danger in that and that people can sometimes feel like when you're around somebody like that, that you can't ever be anything but the same. And I really want to normalize, Stephanie, you're also … Andy's not here to argue with this, by the way.
You're also a normal human being and because you're a normal human being, you have some very normal psychological features that are literally hardwired into the physiology of your brain, and I use that word feature on purpose. I really want to hammer that home. These are features, they're not problems. One of those features is a negativity bias. And so of course when you're stuck in the stress of a management role, and you're carrying the weight of the context and environment and the bars that you're striving for, and things feel like they're on fire around you without any other tools, without any other support, without any other structure, we're all going to default to our normal brain features. And one of those features is, “What's wrong? How do I fix it?” That's where all of us go. I just want people who are listening to recognize that that doesn't make you bad or broken, that makes you normal.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it so much. You said it with a lot more education and clarity behind what you said than I would, but that's a lot of what I feel like I get to do on the podcast. That's one of the things that I love the most about just doing the work that I'm doing now is like, let's be real because we're all human and there are things that we all do are not great or that we wish were better. But the cool part is we get to choose and we get to be intentional about it, and that's one of the things that I love about you is recognizing that you're not advocating for toxic positivity.
You're not advocating for you've got to have a sunny outlook no matter what, you are looking at how do we acknowledge that the weeds live here too, and how do we try to have less weeds over time? And not even just an instant, but this is going to take time and work and effort and the ultimate goal would be to have less weeds. But the garden, it makes it unique, and that's one of the things I always thought it felt very zen to me to get into that headspace. Andy calls it when he has Buddhist moments, but for me it was very much like oh, just remind yourself it wouldn't be the same without them. Even the people who drive me crazy, our beautiful little messy group would not be the same without the drum major who just cannot keep beat. Sometimes you just have to roll with what you got.
That's one of the things that I love about your work and your approach, whether it's in the book or how you engage with people at events or lecturing or any of the consulting work that you do, just like looking at it from that perspective of I think there's this natural inclination in veterinary medicine in particular, to just go to one side of the extreme or the other. So if you are advocating for education around positive culture and positive psychology and focusing on some of these things, I think there's a lot of people who look at it and say, well, you have to do all of that to the exclusion of other things.
There's this feeling of if you're not all in and you're not making it all touchy-feely and everybody's not sitting in a circle and singing Kumbaya, then you're doing it wrong. And I can promise everyone, I may make people sing in my practice, but it never looked like sitting in a circle and singing Kumbaya. It looked like Boy Band Friday Dance Party in the treatment room and forcing my doctors to sing Backstreet Boys. That is a thing that has happened.
But I do think that people think we've got to be all touchy-feely, everybody's got to be all up in everybody else's business, and that's part of what I love that you break down so well in the book is like, no, no, people are people and you are going to be negative sometimes and you are going to have bias. And we have to look at that and acknowledge that and figure out okay, then what do we do with it? If we acknowledge that that's going to happen, how do we make it better in the future?

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, it's funny now I'm thinking we should have titled the book Lead to Thrive, the Science of Crafting a Human Culture.

Stephanie Goss:
I like that. I like that too. But I also like the focus specific on veterinary medicine, but I also love that so much of what you talk about is applicable to everybody inside and outside of veterinary medicine. I think we needed a little bit more in veterinary medicine right now, so we need a little love.

Josh Vaisman:
I don't disagree.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, so there's two big pieces that I want to talk about before we're done here. One has to do with the book. So there's a lot of education and science and study behind positive psychology as a whole, but in particular the work that you share in your book and in your work. And when I was thinking about it and I was talking with my coworker, Maria Pirita, who loves and adores you and is very jealous that I'm getting podcasts with you right now.

Josh Vaisman:
I love and adore her too. She's pretty amazing. Those of you out there who don't know Maria yet, you will and you'll be better for it.

Stephanie Goss:
The world is better for having Maria Pirita in it. But we were talking about it and she was just like, “I think one of the things that both of us were thinking about in getting into the book was why the science is important to positive psychology.” And there is a lot of, again, probably the same people in veterinary medicine who would look at it and be like, “It's too touchy feely” would probably be like, “There's no science behind it,” but there is a lot. And for me, where it really resonated when I was thinking about it was I've worked with practice owners who have looked at life and looked at their team and looked at the practice and gone, “I'm paying them really good wages.”
These are good practice owners, good people who care about the people who work for them. And they're like, “I am paying them really well. I am providing for them. They're getting benefits. Everybody gets breaks. Like I am busting my butt to take care of these people, and isn't that enough? Because I pay them well and I treat them well, shouldn't my responsibility end there? Why should I have to do more work to create a positive culture and a positive workplace?” And I think that there's science behind that and positive psychology that helps explain the why, and I would love your perspective on that.

Josh Vaisman:
Awesome. Thank you. It's so wonderful question. It's one of my favorite ones. I do do get it frequently. I will never forget the first large scale workshop that I was doing delivering this and 60 something people in the room for the day. And about halfway through as I had just gotten done, talking about the science of positive psychology, this gentleman raises his hand and he says, “You know, Josh, this is all fine and dandy, but it's not really my job to make people happy at work.” It was so awesome watching everybody else in the room perk up and watch to see how I would respond.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, so I'm not the first one.

Josh Vaisman:
You are not. No, no, but oh God, it's a good one. It's a good one. There's so many different tactics. If I'm feeling particularly cheeky, I'll respond to people and I'll say, “You're absolutely right. There is no federal mandate for you to make people happy at work. And how is that working out for you? Tell me about your turnover. Tell me about your productivity.” If I'm feeling a little bit snarky down that day, sassified.
The reality is I think you can actually, for those of us who take that sort of economic tilt, if you go to … I am not an economist by the way, so maybe Matt Soloy should follow me after this and he can tell you more about this. But if you look at traditional economics, traditional economics made the assumptions that human beings are rational creatures and that if A makes more sense than B rationally, then human beings will universally select A. And yet when you go out into the world, we see that people routinely make “bad decisions” for themselves when it comes to economic decisions. Why the heck is that? Well, we got some really great answers when people like Daniel Kahneman came around and showed us that actually human beings really aren't rational creatures. We're emotional creatures who have this unbelievable capacity to rationalize our decisions that are often steeped in emotions.
And that's a bit of an oversimplification, but the reality is that that's how we are. We are driven by psychological drives, by psychological needs, by these desires that we have that really sit more in our emotional centers. We've also evolved as part of our brain that allows us to think at a higher level and we can justify things and rationalize things, and yes, we can have moments where we make really, really good rational decisions. And yes, you're correct that it “should” be from a purely rational perspective. If I pay you to do a job, you will do the job to the T of what the job expectation is. And yet everywhere we look, that doesn't happen. So we can decide to be really annoyed by that and just complain and people should and wave our hands and probably just continue to have the same kinds of problems that we have now, or we can embrace the reality that human beings are psychological and emotional creatures.
And what we see consistently in the research is that when those psychological needs are met, people perform better. One of the ones that I've been using a lot lately, I'll put up a slide in a presentation and it just has the number 15 on it and I tell people, just remember this number. The next time you feel like, “Well, I pay people, well, they should.” A meta-analysis that was conducted 8 or 10 years ago, 92 studies looking at factors that predict job satisfaction, so job satisfaction is one of the best on the research side. It's one of the best antecedents we have to job performance, things like productivity, efficiency, turnover, all those kinds of things. People who are satisfied where they work tend to do better and stay longer. That's just the reality of the research. So what are the things that predict job satisfaction?
What this meta-analysis did was it tried to identify what is the correlation between compensation satisfaction and job satisfaction? So I am happy with how I'm compensated here, my salary, my benefits, so on and so forth, and I am happy to work here, which then predicts all these other outcomes. What they found in this 92 study meta-analysis was that compensation satisfaction accounts for about 15% of the variance in job satisfaction scores, 15%. Now, that's not zero. That's something. What we pay people matters. We have to pay people well, if we want them to be satisfied and do well, we got to pay them well for what they do. It should not be an excuse for us to underpay people, and it should also make us realize that while money matters, where we work matters more and the environment that we're in accounts for 85% of the variance in job satisfaction scores, at least according to this study.
So we've got to recognize that what we're inputting into that environment every day is going to influence the output we get from the people there. Outputs, patient care, number of new clients, average transactions, client turnover, team turnover, all of those things are lagging indicators of human input. What we put into that environment results in those things. So yes, pay people, pay them, well expect them to do a job for that pay and don't rely only on that because it only accounts for about 15%.

Stephanie Goss:
Which is absolutely crazy when you think about it just in general, that number blows my mind because I didn't expect it to be so low. Honestly, I expected it to be higher. But when you think about the conversation in veterinary medicine as a whole, as an industry, we've pretty exclusively, for a long time, focused on the money. And rightly so, because to your point, we were lagging very far behind. And so the conversation needed to be about money. And I think that there's a lot of people, and I don't think that it's a generational thing. I think the stick that everybody immediately reaches for is the older generation of veterinarians made it a generational thing, but I think that's total bull–. I think that there is this tendency to be like well, if we deal with the money part and then our work is done, we've done that part and why does it have to be the rest of it?
So I love that you shared that data so succinctly and smartly, that's only a tiny, tiny piece. The 85% is what we really need to focus on next. We've got to take care, hear me, because there will be people who listen to this and are like, “Stephanie says we don't have to worry about paying people.” That is not what I said. That is not what Josh said. You absolutely have to pay people and pay them well, and they cannot be worrying about where the next meal on their table at home comes from. If that is the case, the rest doesn't matter. And when we have taken care of those needs and we are compensating people, well, we have to return the rest of the focus on the culture piece and the other 85%.
What I love about that statistically and science-wise is that it leads right to the output, which I think you and I both knew as leaders in veterinary medicine, if you take care of the people and you practice good medicine, the numbers follow and that the proof is in the pudding there. Those numbers are going to rise or fall as they should when you take care of the people and you practice good medicine.

Josh Vaisman:
I like to think of money, compensation can be a really good recruitment tool. It's not necessarily a great retention tool unless your intention is indentured servitude. If you want people to feel the weight of golden handcuffs, then you could probably use money to keep people longer, but you're not going to get performance out of them if that's what you're after. There are other things. Is it okay if I share another piece of data?

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Go for it.

Josh Vaisman:
So last year we at Flourish got really interested in looking at what are some of the things that might contribute to that other 85%. We were in particular interested in retention, but we looked at a few other things as well. So we took basically the four pillars from the book from Lead to Thrive, and we built an assessment tool around it and then we put out a call to the veterinary community. So this was last fall, in 2022. We just said, “Hey, if you work in veterinary practice and you have a boss, we would like to hear about your experience with that boss.” Those were the qualifications. We got just under 600 people, veterinarians, technicians, CSRs, practice managers, small animal, large animal, mixed animal, general practice specialty.
There was a mix of everything, the whole gamut. And then we asked them to rate, does your boss do these positive leadership behaviors? The things that are laid out in the book, do they do these four things that contribute to psychological safety? Do they do these four things that contribute to purpose, to path to partnership, agree or disagree? That was it on a scale, seven point scale with four being neutral. We weren't asking them, “Do you have a good boss or a bad boss?” We just like, “Do they do these behaviors or not?” That's it.
Then we ask them things like, “Hey, how satisfied are you where you work? How often do you think of quitting your job? How often do you think of leaving the profession? What is your workplace wellbeing like these days?” Those kinds of things. And then we collected all this stuff and then we compared them. We looked for relationships. Now there's a couple interesting things. Number one, on our seven point scale, with four being a neutral, the average response for my leader does or doesn't do these things was 4.4, which is just a hair north of neutral. So it's not happening all the time.
However, it was a pretty even distribution. It was really interesting. So if we took out the neutrals, the people who averaged between three and a half and four and a half, we set them aside. Anybody who had over 4.5, we called them our high positive. So they're on some level agreeing that “Yes, my leader does these positive leadership behaviors.” And then anybody below 3.5, they're saying, “No, I disagree.”

Stephanie Goss:
Generally no.

Josh Vaisman:
“On some level, generally no, they don't do these things.” We looked at the relationship between those two groups and all those outcomes people who said, “My leaders do not practice these positive leadership behaviors,” the average response to how often do you think of quitting your job was often 4.2 out of 5.

Stephanie Goss:
4.2. That doesn't surprise me.

Josh Vaisman:
The people who said, “My leaders do do these things to some extent,” the average response to how often they think of quitting their job was rarely, 1.8 compared to 4.2. That's a 2.3x difference.

Stephanie Goss:
It's huge.

Josh Vaisman:
Yes, money matters. It absolutely matters. And if your goal is to keep people in your hospital and keep them engaged, this stuff matters more.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. Oh my gosh, my mind is boggling. And now I want to nerd out with you for another hour about numbers. The last thing I want to ask you about before we wrap it up is a fun question. So I would love to know what is one lesson that you wish that you had learned before you became a leader? Andy and I have been sharing some of our lessons lately, and we had so much fun. I'm like, “I'm going to ask Josh this question.”

Josh Vaisman:
I love that you're asking me this. So I was recently listening to the two part series that you did on those thoughts. Yeah, man, I don't know, because there's so many different ones. So one that I've been playing with a lot lately with some of the clients that we work with is this idea of that you can spend more time to save time, I guess is the way that I'm thinking of it. It's being very intentional in how we spend our time. Relationship development as a leader, it turns out that it's actually a pretty exceptional time saver. So I was really inspired by this originally. There's a researcher out of the University of Michigan Ross Business School, Dr. Kim Cameron. He is one of the founding members of the field of positive organizational scholarship, which you could think of as positive psychology on the organizational level.
In one of his books, he talks about these studies that were done on these very targeted one-on-one check-in meetings, essentially interviews between manager and direct report. And in one particular study showed some really, really impressive impacts on productivity, job satisfaction, and a reduction in turnover just by implementing these in a fairly well controlled study across a variety of organizations. The thing that really stood out to me though is that they interviewed the managers that had to do these. So this is how this program was done. Stephanie, you've got seven people on your team that directly report to you. Here's what we're going to do. You're going to sit down with each of them a minimum of once a month for one hour, one-on-one. So I'm asking you to add, quote unquote, add seven hours of additional work to your regular life as a manager. That can feel burdensome. A lot of people get turned off by that. You want me to do more? I hardly have time to do what I'm doing now.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, 100%. I can totally imagine the days where that would've been in the first thing that came out of my mouth. I don't have seven more hours in my month. What are you talking about?

Josh Vaisman:
You cray, buddy. You cray.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, exactly.

Josh Vaisman:
That's cute that you think I'm going to do that. So they had these managers do that, and then the ones that did it for the entire 18-month study, they asked them at the end of it how it impacted their ability to do their own work. So they had basically three options. Over the past 18 months, did you find you had less time to do all of your other managerial duties? Did it have zero impact on your ability to do your other managerial duties or did it actually open up time?
And to a T, they all said, “I had more time.” And the average response was, “I found I had an additional eight hours a month to do my work.” Because when we develop those kinds of relationships with the people on our team, when we show them that we actually care about them as human beings, when we help them develop, so we don't look at them as problems, we look at them as possibilities. When we show them how the work that they do matters and the impact and contribution that they're making and how that ties to the higher goals of the organization, and when we give people an opportunity to really express their perspective and voice and feel heard as if they belong somewhere, hey, guess what? They stopped knocking on our door. Because they're doing the work.

Stephanie Goss:
I love that that's the lesson that you shared. As a manager, I would've been happy if you had told me that it was a net-zero. If I just come out even, I would be happy because I would be getting to know my people and it wouldn't be costing me any more time. But how could you look at that? How could you hear that, see the data and not get all behind the idea of, “Look, if we take care of our people, if we grow them, if we develop them, this will come back to us tenfold.”
But where so many of us get caught up is the first reaction I had, which is the holy hell, where in the hell am I going to find seven more hours to spend with people once a month? But if you think about that, 18 months is a very short timeframe in the lifespan in veterinary medicine, and I could do anything for a year and a half, this is not that hard. I love that so much. You did not disappoint with that answer, Josh.

Josh Vaisman:
Thank you. Thank you. I tell you, for me personally in the role that I play now at Flourish with our team, it's been life-changing to have those things. It's just on the schedule all the time. We meet routinely to talk about these kinds of things, and it's all about supporting them and helping them excel in their roles. And I can honestly tell you that I feel three times as productive as a human being now than I ever did as a hospital owner and practice manager.

Stephanie Goss:
We should do a podcast about that. Let me learn your Yoda master ways. I have a feeling that lots of people would like to hear about that. So I want everybody to immediately run out and buy the book because it's amazing and you are wonderful. But where can people find you on the interwebs to connect with you and to find the book?

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, absolutely. So you can find Flourish at our website, which is just flourish.vet, F-L-O-U-R-I-S-H dot V-E-T. I am pretty active on LinkedIn, so you can find me and Flourish on LinkedIn. We're on Facebook and Instagram as well, and at most of your neighborhood lead conferences.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it so much. And the book is an AAHA Press book. So I have to head over to AAHA's website, but I don't have to be an AAHA member to buy it.

Josh Vaisman:
Correct.

Stephanie Goss:
Fun fact, Stephanie is not currently an AAHA member and I was able to buy it.

Josh Vaisman:
Me neither. And I wrote a book for them.

Stephanie Goss:
At the non-AAHA member price. But you can head over to AAHA's website to purchase the book. Josh, this has been an absolute delight. Thank you so much for joining me today, and I will hope that Andy doesn't listen and say you were a wonderful stand-in and you are welcome to sit in Andy's chair on the podcast anytime.

Josh Vaisman:
I'm not going to lie, Stephanie, talking to you is an absolute highlight for me. You're so genuinely curious. You are hilarious. You bring levity, but you have this unreal ability to do serious things without taking it too seriously. It really fills my cup, so thank you for bringing me on. It's been a joy.

Stephanie Goss:
Thank you. You guys can't see me, but I'm tomato red now. Thank you, Josh, from the bottom of my heart, I really have enjoyed having you here. And Andy's going to be jealous now because he's going to be like, “Goddamn it, Josh is trying to take my spot.” But you are welcome back as a co-host anytime.

Josh Vaisman:
The plan is working.

Stephanie Goss:
Till my thoughts take over the world. It'll be like Pinky in the Brain over here. I love it. Take care everybody. Have a fantastic rest of the week and go check out Josh's book.

Josh Vaisman:
Thanks everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, everybody that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. Thanks so much for spending your time with us. We truly enjoy spending part of our week with you. As always, Andy and I enjoyed getting into this topic. I have a tiny little favor to ask; actually, two of them. One is if you can go to wherever you source your podcast from and hit the review button and leave us a review, we love hearing your feedback and knowing what you think of the podcast. And number two, if you haven't already, hit the subscribe button. Thanks so much for listening, guys. We'll see you soon.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Practice ownership

Aug 09 2023

Discounting for Friends and Family – Will It Piss the Team Off?

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Episode 244 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management geek Stephanie Goss dive into a mailbag question from a new practice owner who is thinking ahead! They want to take care of their team and set up great employee discounts. And they want to help take care of the pets belonging to their friends and family who helped get them to where their dream of practice ownership is finally a reality. How does that mix with their plans for their team? We'll find out – Let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 244 – Discounting For Friends And Family – Will It Piss The Team Off?

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to role play on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast. Head over to the mailbag and submit it here

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
How many times have you called a client in the last three days, left a voicemail, and then had somebody call back and say, “I had a missed call from you,” not even having listened to the voicemail. Look, the data shows clients want texting. They want online and digital communication. So if your practice does not offer texting two-way with your clients, you are missing out in a big way. And you're also in luck because our friends at Simple Texting have done the research, that one in three clients check their text notifications within a minute of receiving a text, one in three. And that goes up to 85% of all of our clients within the first five minutes after receiving a text. So if you're listening to this and your practice isn't yet texting two-way with your clients, you are missing out in a big way.
And I don't want you to miss out anymore, and neither does Andy. So our friends at Simple Texting have put together a deal for you, our Uncharted listeners. That's right. They have got texting plans that you can try for free for 14 days, but if you go to simpletexting.com/uncharted, they are going to give you up to $100 worth of free credits when you sign up for texting for your clinic. There is no reason, none whatsoever today to not be texting with your clients. So if this is you, head over to simpletexting.com/uncharted, get your deal, check out all of the amazing options.
Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I are diving back in the mailbag. We got a great letter from an ambitious startup owner who doesn't want to break the bank or employee relationships. They're asking some questions about discounting for their team while also taking care of the friends and family who help support them and get them to the place where their dream is becoming a reality as a new practice owner. This was a really fun episode for Andy and I to talk through. We hope you enjoy it. Let's get into this.

Audio recording:
And now, the Uncharted Podcast.

Andy Roark:
And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie, I've got friends in low places, Goss.

Stephanie Goss:
Now sing it for me please.

Andy Roark:
I've got friends in low places.

Stephanie Goss:
You are no Garth, my friend.

Andy Roark:
No, I know. I have never claimed that I could sing. I can't carry a tune in a bucket.

Stephanie Goss:
But I appreciate that attempt.

Andy Roark:
It's bad.

Stephanie Goss:
I appreciate that attempt. How is it going, Andy Roark?

Andy Roark:
Oh, it's good. It's really good. Things are rolling along here. I'm hanging out here petting my doodle with a self-confidence problem. I was doing…

Stephanie Goss:
Stop it.

Andy Roark:
No. It's worse. It's worse. I was doing my other podcast, Cone of Shame, with the vet behaviorist, Lisa Radosta, who is amazing. She's amazing. And I should have just hit record. I think I'll probably go back. I think I'll probably get her back on. I did that thing where like, “Oh hey, while you're here, I got this dog.”

Stephanie Goss:
You were that client.

Andy Roark:
I got this dog. I was. I was like, “Hey, will you come do a podcast while you're here? Look, can you look at this?” I was like, “I got this dog and he piddles on the floor. If I come home and go to pet him or greet him, every now and then, he will pee on the floor and he's four years old.” And she started talking to me about urination like that and asking me about, “How does he look? What does he do with his ears? What does he do with his head,” all these sorts of things. And she was like, “Yeah, this is a conflict sort of response. And so he's got anxiety around meeting people or people reaching out and petting him and things like that,” and I was like, “Okay, well, what do we do about it?” And she's like, “Well, he has low confidence, Andy. You have to get his confidence up.” So now, I reported all of this dutifully and now I'll be like, “He's a bad dog.” And my wife is like, “You're going to hurt his confidence. Don't.”

Stephanie Goss:
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. So not only do you have a doodle.

Andy Roark:
I have a doodle with confidence issues. That's what I have. That moment of silence was just Stephanie just shaking.

Stephanie Goss:
I'm dying. This is priceless.

Andy Roark:
Now I sit with him, we do affirmations. I'm like, “You're a good boy, you're a handsome boy, you're a smart boy.”

Stephanie Goss:
Boosting his confidence.

Andy Roark:
People like you.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh.

Andy Roark:
So yeah, I'm working on Skipper Roark's confidence.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, Skipper, Skipper. I can't even say anything with a straight face. Skipper has got confidence issues. The only thing that Skipper is confident about is his ability to go pee in the neighbor's yard, right where the sign says, “Don't pee on my lawn.”

Andy Roark:
Yeah. He's confident that he wants to poop in the no pooping yard. He's very confident about that, but no, the whole time, I thought he was bad. It turns out he is just insecure. It's a lot like…

Stephanie Goss:
He's also bad because let's be clear.

Andy Roark:
Yeah. Well, it's like the high school boy where people are like, “Oh, that guy is a jerk.” It's like, “No, he's just got self-confidence issues.” And that's Skipper. He 100% went into my wife's purse and chewed up her migraine medicine.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, no.

Andy Roark:
And she was like, “Why would he do that?” I was like, “Leave him alone. He's got confidence problems.” All right. That's enough. That's enough. We should respect his privacy. Yeah. We should respect his privacy and move on.

Stephanie Goss:
Bad dog. Okay. Fair. Well, I'm excited. We've got a question from the mailbag today. And I was thinking back and I don't think we've actually tackled anything like this topic before, so I'm kind of excited about this. We've got a letter from a new practice owner and they are getting ready to open their practice here at any moment now, which is just big congratulations right off the bat because that's awesome. And they said, “Well, I have a question about discounting,” which I love that they're asking questions before they start doing things.

Andy Roark:
That's super smart. Because once you start, you're in it.

Stephanie Goss:
Exactly.

Andy Roark:
Once you start doing anything with your family, it's hard to be like, “Yeah, I'm not doing that for you anymore.” That is challenging. All right. So go ahead.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes. So they were like, “I want to set up a discount that takes care of my team because I care about them and I want to take care of them. And my friends and my family have really supported me through this whole endeavor. They supported me through school and being in practice. Now, I'm opening my own practice and my love language is gifts and acts of service. And so for me, the ultimate would be to pay back my friends and family and take care of them and take care of their pets as a thank you. My parents, my in-laws, I want to say thank you for supporting me on this journey and take care of their pets.” And so they're a kind and generous person. And so they're just like, “I want to do that.”
And they're thinking with a business head and they're like, “If I take a step back, I want to make sure that I'm maintaining fairness and avoiding creating disparities within the clinic because I don't want to give things away to my friends or my family for free that I'm not willing to give to my team and I need to make this a fair situation.”
And so they were like, “How can I approach the idea of friends and family discounts without compromising the fairness and integrity to my team and the discounts that they're going to get and the clinic policies that ultimately I'm going to set.” And was signed from an ambitious owner who does not want to break the bank or employee relations, which I absolutely love. And so I need us to start with giving this practice owner or this new practice owner big giant kudos for asking the questions because they are great.

Andy Roark:
It's always good to try to figure it out before you get into the moment, before you make it a pattern. Right? A lot of times with practice ownership, we have to figure out, we have to get there before we can start to make policies. I see a lot of people who spend a lot of time making policies for things that will never happen or they'll make big plans about what will happen if this thing, and then it never comes together. But anyway, in this case, knowing that we have friends and family who are around, I think it's good to think this through so you're not just making it up on the fly.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. Totally.

Andy Roark:
I have thoughts. The frustrating answer to this question, it's very, very simple. It depends. It wildly depends. Thanks for tuning in everybody. That's our episode. No, it wildly depends. It depends on how does your staff feel about their compensation package, right? Are they struggling to pay for services? Because if they're struggling to pay for services and you're no charging your friends, if they struggle to pay for services for their own pet, or if they're living hand to mouth and they feel like, “Oh man, this is hard to make ends meet,” and then you are giving stuff away to your buddies, they're not going to feel good about that. Or do they feel okay, or do they feel like, “Okay, I understand they're family. I would want to treat my family like that and gives the family the staff discount. I'm okay with that.” A lot of it depends. It depends on how many people are we talking here? Friends and family, what is that, one person a day? Is that one person a week? Is that one person a month? What is that?
I've seen practices. We've gotten letters. You and I have gotten letters from practices where there's an extended family and they're just rolling in all day long, going in and out and getting what they want. And so, how many people are we talking about here? Is this a revolving door of people getting discounts and breaks or is it your two best friends and your brother? Okay. Those are just different things. How do your friends and family act when they come in? How do they treat the staff? We've gotten letters about that where the family rolls in like they own the place. Basically, they don't have appointments. They walk in whenever they want. They don't listen to the texts. They dismiss them. They walk right back into the treatment room with their pet and just the staff feels wholly disrespected by these people who are coming in. And just, man, that's toxic. That's really toxic.
And I totally, I empathize with those letters when we got them. It's like, “Oh man, that's not okay.” And so all of those things really, really matter as far as, what are we talking about here? And again, I don't think anybody would think too much if you have a couple of people who come in every now and then and they're your family or close friends and you take care of those people. It's probably not a big deal, but I've 100% seen it become a big deal. It really depends on how you're doing it. And like I said, it depends a lot on how the staff feels, how they get treated, things like that. All that stuff matters. And the last part is, fair is where pigs win ribbons, there is no… What?

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my gosh. I'd never heard that. And that is the most southern thing that I've heard you say in so long.

Andy Roark:
You haven't heard that? Oh, fair is where pigs win ribbons. It is. So here's the thing, right? If I took a big group of people and I said to them, “Is the electoral college a fair way to do elections?” They would not agree.

Stephanie Goss:
Right.

Andy Roark:
And you would never convince all of them yes or no, but they would never agree. I was just trying to pick a thing that in our country, some people are like, “Nope, not fair.” And some people are like, “It is the most fair way.” And there's not a right answer. I don't know. Is it fair or not? It depends on who you are. It depends on what you're trying to do. It's the point of debate, but that's the whole point.
And so some people would say, “Sure, it's fair that this person's family doesn't have to pay for services or gets a big discount.” And other people would say, “It's not fair when we don't get the salaries that we need because this person's giving things away.” And again, people just depending on their worldview, you can have the same team and they could be split down the middle about what's fair and what's not. There's not a, “This is fair. Everyone's going to see it. They're all going to agree that it's fair.” And that will be the decided upon state of being is yes, fairness.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, because fairness is subjective. Right? And so, I think there's two pieces. You're spot on. The fairness is subjective and what one person views as fair may not be viewed the same way as another person in the situation or outside of the situation. So we're totally looking at fairness through the lenses of our own lives and our own experience. So that's number one. And so if fairness is super, super subjective, then there's two other pieces from a head space perspective that are really important for me. Number one is clear is kind. And so fairness is going to be subjective. And so the only way out of this that is positive all around as a practice owner for the team, for friends and family, is to make sure that you are very clear because that is going to be the most kind to everybody. So everybody knows what's happening, everything gets communicated very clearly. Clarity is your friend here.
And the third piece of it that I think is really, really important is that recognizing that what you do today and how you are clear and equity that you put into place today is going to change, may change as you go. Because you are about to open your practice and what works today about to open your practice may be something completely different that works for you six months from now, six years from now. Your practice is going to grow and change and evolve. And so the other piece of head space is don't think about this. I'm going to set a policy for my hospital that is going to be the policy on discounting until the end of time. That's the wrong way to look at it, in my opinion. Think about it as what am I going to do right now and for the foreseeable future, and when am I going to reevaluate? Because that will help you with that clarity for yourself and for your team.

Andy Roark:
I like that. I would also say, it's much easier to loosen up later on than it is to tighten it back down. And so I think that if I would start with a conservative policy, especially as you open. You're like, “We just opened up.” You know what I mean? I'll say something that may come off as… I don't know, it may be contrary or whatever, but I'm not particularly excited about having my friends as clients. And there's a lot of people who just would disagree with me. And you hear that and go, “Oh my God.” But the truth is, I like to be a vet, and then I like my friends to be my friends. If somebody would not come to me as a veterinarian if they didn't get a discount, then I don't really want them to come to me as a veterinarian anyway.
And I don't really personally, I'll just say, I've been doing this for a good amount of time now, I don't really like the veterinarian relationship woven into my friendship relationship. I don't like when I'm suddenly the service provider to my friend who's unhappy with something. You know what I mean? There's an awkwardness there that I don't really like.
And I guess it's one thing if you need the money or you're trying to get something up and going and things like that, and your friends can be your best clients. They can be. They can also be your worst clients and they can also make friend gatherings awkward when you're like, “Yeah, and I heard that medial patella luxation surgery didn't go the way I wanted. And I know that every time you see me, you think about it.” That's odd. There's just a little bit of awkwardness there too.
I'm not saying that other people, you shouldn't do vet work for your friends. I'm not saying that. But I am saying, I don't race out and say to people, “You should come and see me.” In fact, I generally don't. I generally don't. I like to keep my friends and my business separate as much as I can, but that's just kind of always how I've sort of done it. I'm happy with my neighbors to come and see me, that's fine, but that's the level of relationship that we have. And so anyway, I'm not trying to set a rule here or anything at all. And maybe no one else feels that way, but I do.

Stephanie Goss:
No, I think that it's good that you bring it up because I think that it is regardless there's going to need to be some boundaries, right? And I think I'm glad that you brought it up because most of the time, you and I see the opposite end of the spectrum. What you were talking about where there isn't as many boundaries and where the rules are not the same for friends or family as they are for the team and other clients. And that's where it gets people into trouble. And so thinking about it on the spot here as we're talking about this, every single practice that I have ever worked in, there has been a friend or family member. There is someone who gets the discounts, but who is not our client. They don't follow the rules, they don't do any of the things that we make everybody else do. They are the exemption. And in every single situation, boy, did it piss people off, the team-

Andy Roark:
The staff gets really upset.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. And because whether it was they could just come in and take meds off the shelf like you were saying, or they didn't ever follow any of the rules. I remember vividly getting into it with the team because we had a rule in our clinic about, we wouldn't see patients and do procedures on patients that didn't have a current rabies vaccination, unless there was a valid medical reason. And yet, we had that one best friend of the practice owner who was just like, “I don't want my old dog to get vaccines.” And it was like, “Oh, they don't need to get it.” And the team was like, “Well, we would make any other client get a rabies vaccine if they were going to have a dental, but we're not going to make them.” And so I do think that it is important to recognize that as a whole. It tends to go in the negative direction a lot more than it does in the positive direction. And so I think-

Andy Roark:
I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to push back on you here. I don't know. I don't know if it really does because here's the thing, everybody remembers that client you were just talking about. You know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss:
Sure. Yeah, yeah.

Andy Roark:
But there may have been seven other clients that were friends and they just come in, they're respectful, they're nice. No one really pays that much attention. You know what I mean? They just get their little discount. They thank the front desk and they walk out and no one thinks twice about it. But it's that one and everybody remembers it. But that was sort of my point about, it really depends is because you could have a bunch of friends and family, and they're respectful, and they're blah, blah blah, and the staff is fine with this. Or you could have one and that person walks in the back and takes meds off the shelf and things like that, and they're like, “This is a nightmare.” Really, it's that big of variation.
And so it's really hard to set. It's really hard to set any sort of rule. I would never be like, “You can have five people.” It depends on the five people and how they behave and how the staff feels and all those things. But anyway, to your point, it's about, does it always go that bad? I don't know. Or do we just remember the ones that went bad and do they really stand out? I don't know. I don't know.

Stephanie Goss:
That's fair. That's fair. Because you're right in that for each one of those bads, I can think about goods in those same practice who were the regular clients who followed the rules, and they got their 5% off and it was totally fine. So I think that's a super fair point. And I think where I was trying to go with it was that there is the potential for that to be what the team remembers, is that one client because that does stick out really easily in our head. Right? And so I think from the practice owner's perspective, when you think about head space and getting into a head space to tackle what are you going to do and how are you going to do it, remembering that clear is kind and that fairness is going to be subjective.
And that your team, you are going to have to have the conversation and you might have the conversation today, you might have it six months from now, but what you decide today may not be the same. And I would agree with you, especially when it comes to friends and family, because friends and family is where just I feel like as humans, a lot of us struggle with boundaries more than anything, but it's pretty easy to have boundaries with a total stranger for the most part. This is our policy, take it or leave it. It's a lot harder to have those same boundaries with friends and family.
And so if you start wide and say, “I love you, thank you so much for making this happen. Come in. I'm not going to charge you for any of this care that your pet is going to need today,” if you start down that path, it is a lot harder to take that away and be like, “Oh, well, now the clinic's making money and so now I'm going to have to charge you.” That is a hard path to walk. So I think your point there is super important to think beyond just today and think about that long-term perspective and know that you can always give them an extra something down the road, but it's really hard to take it away once you've gotten something started.

Andy Roark:
This is not about friends and family. This is just my thoughts on discounting in general. And I talk about this all the time. I believe in intentional discounting, meaning not just willy-nilly giving stuff away. That is the path to ruin. I see it all the time. Just the person walks in, you're like, “I don't charge them for that” or “Let's just take that offer. I don't know. They already paid for a bunch of stuff, let's just not charge them for this.” That kind of willy-nilly, however, I feel discounting is that is bad, is bad for the business.
Here's the other thing too. The research shows that it doesn't make you happy when you just willy-nilly give things away. If you decide these are the people that I'm going to help or this is how I'm going to help, these are the mechanisms I'm going to help, this is a program we're going to place, the research says, you'll be more proud of that. You will know that you were doing it. You will be able to look back and you're like, “How did I help people?” And you will know, “I did this thing, I had this program, I gave this time,” whatever, but you intentionally decided, “I was going to help these people.”
And you know that your money, or your time, or your services or whatever are going through something that you decided was good to do. And so you can intentionally discount. You can budget that. Everything feels more in control. The staff understands why we're doing what we're doing. All of those things are important. So there's intentional discounting, but I would even step back further than that. And so my first thought here is, let's just do a quick, just a real quick truthfulness check. When we say, I want to do this because my love language is gifts, are we doing this because you have decided that these are people you want to give back to? Or are we doing this because you think that people will like you if you give them free stuff? Are you doing this because your value as a person is influenced by your generosity to your friends and family?
And again, I don't know this person at all, but I have seen a lot of people who were making choices about discounting because they want to be popular or because they didn't want to make anybody upset or they wanted to get along. And so my real thought is, again, I don't think that much about family, but friends and stuff. And so I go, okay, the first part of intentional discounting is, why do I want to support this person, and just decide. And again, I'm not saying right or wrong or anything, but it should not be this person smiles when I see them, and so I'm going to not charge them what I charge other people who I don't know. That doesn't make any sense. That's not fair. It's not fair and it doesn't really help anybody in a significant way or anything like that. And so I would start with, why are we doing this? And then I would move on into sort of more specific to what the program looks like.

Stephanie Goss:
And I think I'm glad that you said that because from the letter that we got, I don't get that that is the sense of where this person is at. They had clear examples of like, “My in-laws and my parents or the people who really supported me on this journey.” And so I can clearly see they do care and it is an act of service and a love language to gift them. You've supported me and now I want to pay you back and take care of your pets. So you can totally see that. And to your point, I can also see that same person struggling down the road with like, “Oh, well this is somebody that I care about now. Do I give them the same discount?” The same situation is not in play. I didn't just open my practice. Now I've been open for a year and a half, but this person, now I have a new sister-in-law, now I have new brother-in-law. Am I just going to extend them the same discount because they're my in-laws? And my other in-laws got this discount when we first started. And so now I'm going to…
I'm glad that you said that because I do think that from that big picture perspective, taking the step back and looking at, why are you doing it, who are you trying to serve, and why are you trying to serve them is really, is a good, clear head space to start because I think that there will be questions at some point down the road whether it comes from yourself, whether the questions come from your team, or whether it comes from friends and family who are maybe hitting you up for a discount. I've absolutely had people be… But I'm like, “Don't your friends get a discount?” No, I have to answer that question as a team member or as a practice owner. And so that may not be the situation today, but at some point in the future, that will be a question that you come up against. And so figuring out why you're doing what you're doing is a really important piece of the head space. So I'm glad you said that.

Andy Roark:
Yeah. That's important to me, is just to get my head around, “What are we doing here?” As opposed to just, “I'm giving money away because it feels good.”

Stephanie Goss:
Totally. Anything else for you from a head space perspective?

Andy Roark:
Well, one more thing. I was going to put in the action stuff, but I'll put it here as well. And this goes back to about my friends as clients and stuff like that. I just tell you, this is just personal head space from me. I'm not going to tell anybody else how to think about it or whatever, but I personally like to separate myself from my job. I go in and I do the vet stuff and I like it, but I want to be Andy when I'm not at the vet clinic and not Dr. Andy, just Andy. And so I do think a lot about that.
The last thing that I would say here is if you see what I'm saying and you're like, “You know what? I also have some concerns about kind of weaving my practice life into my personal life.” And again, this is different from your family because you want to help your family out and I get it. You can give and be generous in different ways. Just because you're a veterinarian and you own a practice, that does not mean that's how you have to give to your friends. It just doesn't. There's other things that you can give in other ways.
And so does it make you a lesser person if you charge someone full price at your vet clinic, and then come and help them move a couch up their stairs when they need it? I don't know that it does. You know what I mean? Is it if you host the neighborhood Christmas party, do you need to give everyone in the neighborhood a discount at your vet clinic? You know what I mean? It's not the same. And so when you start thinking about head space, I would say, just don't fall in the trap of, I am a veterinarian or I own a vet clinic and so gifts from me must necessitate professional services. You can give professional services away to no one and also be a very generous person.

Stephanie Goss:
Right. Yep. I love that so, so much. I'm glad that you said that.

Andy Roark:
Cool. Let's take a little break and we'll come back and try to get into some action steps here, how we set this up.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay.
Did you know that we offer workshops for our uncharted members and for our non-members? So if you're listening to today's podcast and you are not a member of Uncharted yet, you should be, but this is not a conversation about joining Uncharted. This is a conversation about all of the amazing content that we have coming at all of you, whether or not you're a member through our workshop series. You should head over to the website at unchartedvet.com/events and check out what is coming. We have got an amazing lineup on the regular. We've got something every month, sometimes two or three things in a month coming at you to expand your brain, to talk about leadership, to talk about practice management, and dive into the kind of topics that Andy and I talk about on the podcast every week.
So now's your chance, stop what you're doing, pick up your cell phone, I know it's not far from you, and type in unchartedvet.com/events. See what's coming and sign up. They are always free to our uncharted members and they have a small fee attached to them if you are not currently a member. You can get all of the details, pricing, dates, times, and register. Head over to the website now. I want to see you there.

Andy Roark:
All right. So I think for action steps, I think we should start with intentional action, figure out what you're going to do. Again, here's where I'm going to throw a wrench into the work for a lot of people and say, “I'm still, I'm going to beat this drum.” I'm not convinced that you have to have a program at your practice where people come in and they just get a discount. I think you should think about who you're trying to help and how you're trying to help them. I would be personally, again, it depends on how big your family is, what you're trying to do, things like that. I would be much more open to the idea of trying to figure out how to do, I don't know, a separate program to help out my friends and family.
Maybe I take one Saturday every couple of months and say, “Guys, I'm doing vaccines over at the house. If you guys want to come over on Saturday, I've got the cloud pin software pulled up, but I'll bring you guys in. I'll do this. I won't have any of my technicians there or I'll have one technician there and pay them or whatever, but I'll bring everybody over. I'll do this little program, blah, blah, blah.” But it's not people coming into the practice, going through our process, taking up tech time, things like that. I'm just saying, “No, this is a little thing that I can do that is separate and I can intentionally do it. And it does not distract from the work of others. It's not putting my friends onto my staff in a way that makes their jobs harder, their lives harder,” things like that.
I think honestly, I'll tell you this. I think you're being really generous if you have an open door policy where your friends can call you and ask you about their pets. I personally don't like that and that's why I don't want my friends as my clients. Again, I'm not trying to be a real curmudgeon about it, but I got kids and I like to go home and I like to be off, and I don't really like people calling me and shaking me down for vet advice or things like that. And of course, I'll help you if you call me, but I'd really prefer that I not get a bunch of calls. And as your friend network expands, you can get a lot of people doing that. And so I personally just like to have some boundaries about when I'm available, when I'm not.
But I mean, I would say the idea that you take someone's phone calls after hours, you invite them to bring their pet by your house so you can have a look, you set up a little gathering to do vaccines or wellness care or things like that for your family or your friends, you do things like that, but then you don't give them a discount whenever they walk into the vet clinic or let them come in with no appointments or things like that. And that makes you not a generous person. I go, “I don't buy that for a second.” And so anyway, it goes back to being intentional. I'm not trying to be stingy about it at all, but I really do think that you can be very generous with people and not have a discount at your vet clinic. I do believe that.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. I think for me, from figuring out what to do, what I will say is I think after my feelings around discounting and what do we do for our teams and for friends and family have changed up, down, backwards, sideways over the years because I've done it a bunch of different ways and I've experienced it different ways in different practices. And the why being different in different places. And so I think for me then, this is purely personal, figuring it out meant deciding why I was doing it and what I was trying to get out of it.
And the most clear head space that I have ever been able to get into as a leader and as a practice owner would be to say, “I want the experience for my team.” And this for me, holds true for friends and family, to be the same experience that I would provide for any other client because the why for me is that I want our practice to be a place that any member of my team, any member of my friend group or family wouldn't hesitate to recommend to anybody that they meet to bring their pet into my practice.
And so for me, if that's my why, then it makes it a lot more clear on how I am going to deliver that. Because if I want my team to experience the same level of service that clients experience, that does not mean that their pets get stuck in a cage until the end of the day and dealt with after everybody else goes home. It does not mean that they get the short end of the stick. It doesn't mean a lot of things that we can see happen in practice when it comes to taking care of staff pets.
And the same goes for clients. Totally, I like your idea, Andy, and the outside the box thinking of, well, maybe you do a special thing for them and you figure out what that looks like. And I could totally see that. And at the same time, if my why… For me, my why was about, I want them to experience, I want them to come in. I want them to hear the same spiels from my team. I want them to build the relationships with the team. I want them to have that same kind of white glove experience that I personally cultivated in my practice. And this is totally me speaking from my personal experience here. So not going to be the right fit for everybody.
So for me, I would have a hard time with that because I wouldn't want to… It's funny talking about this. Patty's going to kill me. So when I started working in VetMed, it was a million years ago and we were just kind of transitioning. I grew up with pets that lived in the backyard. They didn't come in the house. And when I started working in VetMed, we had just transitioned and I remember vividly to having our first dog that kind of lived in the house. And God, we love Mercy. She was the best dog. But my parents were not my ideal client now, my parents were far from that ideal client.
It was the bare minimum. They didn't get dentals. We didn't do a lot of the things. And that was because the medicine has changed, but also, because of how we related to our pets has changed significantly. And when I think about about the care that I provided in the beginning for my own pets, it was not the same care that I was recommending in the practice. It was like, well, I know what the bare minimum is, and so I'm just going to do the bare minimum for your pets because that's how you have always treated them. And I think I deprived myself and my family the opportunity to learn and grow and believe in the things that I truly did believe in the practice. And so I think for a lot of us, there is the potential to have that discrepancy there.
And so I think for me, that's a big part of the figuring out what that why is and what you're going to do, because I think it will help you figure out how do you then action plan it. And so for me, I wanted my parents ultimately to experience it. And so I started forcing my mom. I'm like, “Nope, you have to call the clinic and you can talk to me as the CSR upfront, but you have to call the clinic and make an appointment. I'm not going to make an appointment for you. I want you to fill out the survey when you leave. I'm not going to tech your appointment. Somebody else is going to go in there because I want to get the feedback. I want to know how are we doing? How did we stand up to what… I want you to experience it like any other client.” That became a motivator for me as a leader with my own family, but also with my team.
And so figuring that out really, really helped me to have clarity and that ability to see clearly with figuring out, what is my protocol? What is my policy? How am I going to approach this? And really not have it just be willy-nilly. Or I don't know, this is what I decided at two o'clock in the morning and I wrote it down. So that's what we're going to do, which is when we're starting up a practice, that's where a lot of us start from. And so I think, for me, what is right for me is not necessarily what's going to be right for you, Andy, as Dr. Andy, or what's going to be right for our friends who owns the practice down the street. But whatever is the driver, figuring out the why behind that will help you figure out then the what are you going to do with it.

Andy Roark:
Yeah, I know. I agree with that. It's funny. We've talked about kind of blowing off staff pets before when they bring them in. Look, talk is cheap and people watch what you do. And so if you have your friend come in and you're just like, “Hey, come on in. Let me just do these vaccines for you real quick. All right. You're all set. All right, take care, buddy.” That sends one of two messages, right? It either sends a message that you don't really care about your friend's dog because you just popped him with vaccines and sent them out, or that all the hand waving you do about how important your exam is, is bullshit. Because when it's your friend, you just pop them with vaccines and send them out the door and whether they're like that-

Stephanie Goss:
But when it's the team… Yep.

Andy Roark:
Because that's what they need. You know what I mean? And so you can choose either of those two beliefs. You either don't care about your friend's dog or you don't care about all the other dogs because really, just doing what you need for your friend's dog and everybody else is getting a bunch of hand waving. You know what I mean? And so the staff is always watching. They're always watching. And again, I want to keep this in proportion where it's not like if you bring your friend Dave's dog in one time and do this, everything you've worked with your staff goes out the window. Of course, it doesn't. It's all a matter of proportionality and those sorts of things. So again, I don't want to over-generalize and say, if you do this one time or you behave this way once, your whole credibility is destroyed, but it does take a toll. And so it's just a lot of that.
So anyway, I think sort of to summarize the takeaways for me with the friends and family discount is be intentional on why you're doing this and that will help you sort of figure out who you're doing it for. Consider doing things that are not just inside your vet clinic, whether it's things that don't have anything to do with vet medicine or whether you set it up and say, “You know what? I do this with my neighbors.” If they'll text me or they'll see me and they'll say, “I'm really worried about my dog.” And I'll say, “Bring her over to the house and let's have a look.” And I do that, and I don't charge them for that, but I do. I just come, and I look, and I honestly try to help them.
And sometimes I'll say, “You need to go into the vet clinic.” And when they get to the vet clinic, they get an exam and they get those things. But a lot of times, just telling them, “Hey, let's give it until tomorrow. Let's see how it goes here. Here, I want you to just keep this clean. Let's see what we got. Bring her back in the morning and I'll take a look.” I mean, that's a very generous thing on my part that I don't charge for, but it's also, I don't consider it discounting.
And when they go to the vet clinic, they go in and they get checked in. Ideally, they see another vet besides me. I always just prefer that, but it's kind of what you want it to be. If you're going to decide that we're going to do friends and family discounting at least for friends, I would say be intentional about what that means and who gets that, and then I would make real sure that your friends' discount is not better than your staff discount. I mean, that may sound common sense, but I've seen friends get bigger discount than the staff who works there for you. And that doesn't generally go over very well.

Stephanie Goss:
Not at all. Not at all. And that was what I was going to say, is that, so the fairness is subjective, but the equity is very, very important. And your team is there day in, day out. And yes, it's not discounting the emotional value of your friends and family supporting you on your journey. That is very important. And I think that's why I am so glad that you brought up. You can have gifts and give acts of service outside of the vet clinic. The clinic is not the only currency that you have when it comes to your love language. And so I'm so glad that you said that because your team, that piece matters to them because that is the currency for you with them, how you treat them, how you take care of them. And to your point at the beginning of the episode, all of those other things, how they get paid, their benefits, all of those things mash up together and create that equality and that fairness piece.
And so I have absolutely seen it bite people in the butt where you tell the team, “I can only give you what the IRS allows,” but then you give your parents stuff for free and they have to put those charges in and zero it out. There's no faster path to having a pissed off team than that inequity, right?

Andy Roark:
Right.

Stephanie Goss:
And so, I'm so glad that you bring that up. And I think that that is a smart path to walk, which is whatever you're going to do for your team, make sure that your friends and family discount, particularly if you're extending it in a broad sense, does not go beyond what you're giving your team. That's just a common sense rule of thumb.

Andy Roark:
Well, And I'll tie onto that, because I think that's a really great point about giving what IRS allows, and then having your team put stuff in and zero it out. Just be mindful about perception and stuff and don't rub their face in it. And so if you're going to have your parents come in and everything, have your team put the charges in, and then just tell your parents, “Hey, I'll send you a bill if there's anything left.” And then have the managers zero it out, or you zero it out, or something later on. But just having the staff do it, and then see it and it just… And again, it depends on the individual. 90% of the staff, they don't care. They totally get it. They wish they could do it for their family, but a certain percentage of the staff is going to care. And the less that they kind of see it, the better.
When you have friends and family come in for things like this, and this is a big one for me, they have to go through the system, where I think what it really hacks the staff off is not so much the money. It's people who come in without an appointment. They walk right into the back, which is the realm of the staff, and act like they own the place and this is their place, not the staff's place.
And again, I don't know if any of your friends would do that, if any of your family members would do that, but I want to take care of my staff as they take care of my friends, which means you should have an appointment. You should come in, you should get seen. The technician should take the history. We should do the whole song and dance, and then I'll send you a bill if there's anything left to pay. And what that means is I'll have the manager zero it out, or I'll look at it and see what we can do, but I'm not going to make the staff do it, things like that. That's a distinct possibility.

Stephanie Goss:
And I have to really quick hop on my soapbox for just a hot second because this is a new practice owner. And I have to hop on what the IRS allows, soapbox for a hot second, because it comes up over and over, and over, and over again. And I have seen so many practice owners use this almost as a weapon in terms of arguing their policy for staff discounts, and nothing puts my back up faster. So the IRS, there are rules, but the phrase, what the IRS allows, is totally misnomer. Because the IRS will allow you. You can discount 100%. If you want to give your team 100% discount on everything, you can do that. What the IRS says is that they have to pay tax on it. It has to be claimed as income.
And so there is paperwork that has to be done, but you can absolutely have a staff discount policy that says, your team gets everything at cost or gets it at 100% discount for services or whatever your policy is. Where people get confused is because what the IRS says is, “We've set a threshold.” So you can do a percentage off on services and do cost plus 10%, so it's 20% off on services and cost plus 10 on goods, that's their threshold. And so realistically, that's where they say, “Look, we'll allow you to discount to this amount without us getting our nose out of joint. Anything beyond that, you have to do the paperwork on it because we want to claim our tax on it, and the government needs to get their piece.”
And so, so many people are like, “Well, I can't give a bigger discount. I can't do this because the IRS says, this is all I'm allowed to do.” You can do whatever it is that you want to do. And so as a new practice owner, knowing that and figuring out, again, to your point earlier, the why, why are you doing the thing? How are you giving back to them? For me, I wanted my team to experience the care that our clients got to experience.
And so you bet your butt, if our standard of care was that every patient who had dental disease was recommended to get a dental cleaning once a year, I wanted my team to be able to access that care. And so my employee discount program was set up to support that. And a dental at our practice was not an inexpensive thing. And so, I had team members who… We lived in a very expensive part of the country in California, in the Bay Area, and there was a lot of them who even though we paid them well, were still living paycheck to paycheck and doing our dental at our client prices, put that care out of reach for their patients, for their pets.
And so for me, it was about getting them to access that care. So we gave a bigger discount, and then we did the paperwork, and they knew that and we were clear about it. It was very clearly spelled out. I answered all of their questions. I kept answering questions. It wasn't just the conversation at hire. And so I bring all this up and get on my soapbox for a second because I think that I've seen so many practice owners use this as like, “Well, my hands are tied, and so this is what I can do.” And we use that. That gets used as a weapon with our team, but we look the other way when it comes to our friends and family. And that's bullshit, for me.
And so I can't resist, I had to jump on that soapbox for a second because that's where the equity comes into place. If you're going to use that as a weapon with your team and say, “Well, the IRS says I can only give you 20% off,” then you sure as hell better be prepared to answer their questions about why your friends and family get it at a 100% discount.

Andy Roark:
Yeah. Sure. And I'll get on my soapbox here at the end. My last point on this is, when I talk about the discounting and things like that, I believe that we should price our services fairly and intentionally. I think when you decide what you charge for your services, you should act with integrity.

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Andy Roark:
You should be honest about what your clinic needs to make. You should not feel guilty about earning a decent living for yourself. You should not feel guilty about demanding to be able to pay your team a good salary. You should not feel bad about having a profitable business that has some value to it. And you should also be able to look people in the eye and sort of say, “This is what we need to charge for what we do.” Now granted, that doesn't mean we can't do some discounts for the staff or things like that, but I just found that when I looked at it holistically and said, “This is what we need to charge in order to do what we need to do,” I have a lot less trouble saying to people, “This is what it costs.”
And it made me feel better about deciding intentionally what I want to do to give back, and then just sort of saying, “I don't really play with the prices.” I think I have this sort of negative just aversion to changing prices because I think it's a bad habit. And I think that it's a slippery slope and you get way too comfortable not charging for things and just taking the price down on things. And I think that if you're in an independent practice, I think that's a bad habit to get into. They don't have that practice in a corporate, that problem in a corporate practice. You're not doing friends and family discount when you work for a multi-site practice. I just think it's something that independents need to look out for because it's a slippery slope. And so anyway, if you've gotten the impression, I'm not a huge fan of it today, you're right.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh man, this was fun.

Andy Roark:
Yeah, that's good. I'm going to go spend some time with Skipper, make sure he's doing okay.

Stephanie Goss:
Bolster his confidence?

Andy Roark:
Bolster his confidence, make sure he still knows he's a good boy, give him some affirmations.

Stephanie Goss:
I can't.

Andy Roark:
I know. His love language is gifts too, so he is going to get a treat. Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it. Take care, everybody.

Andy Roark:
See you later, everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message. You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can email us at podcast@unchartedvet.com. Take care everybody, and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Dustin Bays · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Practice ownership

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