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Jul 31 2024

Managing A Perfectionist

This manager faces challenges with constant corrections from a perfectionist team member, causing tension within the team. Dr. Andy Roark and Stephanie Goss dive deep into managing perfectionist tendencies in a veterinary setting, highlighting the importance of empathy, open communication, and objective management. They explore how the veterinary education system can contribute to perfectionist behaviors and discuss strategies for balancing high standards with team harmony. This episode is packed with action items for any practice owner, manager, leader or veterinary team member who might be dealing with a similar situation. Let's get into this episode…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · 298 – Managing A Perfectionist

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey everybody. I am Stephanie Goss and this is another episode of the Uncharted podcast. And this week on the podcast, Andy and I are diving into the mailbag because we've got a question from a manager who's wondering, how do you performance manage someone who has perfectionist tendencies? They mean well, but the constant corrections are starting to take a toll on the team.

This one's got a sprinkle of maybe some toxic positivity and a whole lot of fun. Let's get into it.

Dr. Andy Roark: And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark and the one and only Stephanie. I don't deserve this. You look perfect tonight. Gosh. Oh boy.

Stephanie Goss: Oh yes, I, I like it. I like it.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, you know, we're, we're talking perfectionism today. And I was like, I don't know. That's just, that's what came into my mind. Uh,

Stephanie Goss: I'm definitely, definitely, definitely not looking perfect. Although my “cloffice” is shaping up very nicely.

Dr. Andy Roark: You're, yeah, you don't look, she's in, she's in her pajamas in her closet, uh, and I'm

Stephanie Goss: I have actually gotten dressed today. It is late enough when we're doing this.

Dr. Andy Roark: That's, no, it looks good, it's good. The cloffice, I love it.

Stephanie Goss: The “cloffice” is, uh, is looking good. Uh, how's it going Andy Roark?

Dr. Andy Roark: It's, it's crazy. It's completely insane, just so you know. Uh, the world, the world is nuts. And I just, I, I've been sitting today. You know, sometimes I try to write things and they just don't go anywhere.

And that was this morning. Of like, it's really hard to believe sometimes that you just sit and you work and you work and you work and then you throw the whole thing away It's like it's hard to believe that's progress. I think I think it is. I think you have to work through it, but I've got this crazy idea that it's not. It's not going into the box.

I want it to go into but I'm gonna try it out on you. First of all, I gotta give you some culture so you can understand The high level of idea that I have here. And so how much do you know about professional wrestling?

Stephanie Goss: Absolutely. Absolutely zero.

Dr. Andy Roark: That can't be true. You have a theater background. You don't know anything about professional wrestling? Oh, I'm gonna change

Stephanie Goss: and I have three brothers.

Dr. Andy Roark: I'm gonna change your life. I could see you becoming a massive professional wrestling fan.

Stephanie Goss: My context for professional wrestling, my context for professional wrestling is Hulk Hogan.

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh yeah. Okay. So you're, you're, you are old school. Which is– just look, I mean you're all about hugging. You definitely, you like dramatic entrances. You um, you get into costumes like you are basically there if just a little taste for violence and you are. Right where you need to be to appreciate that. Okay, let me so I am not a huge current professional wrestling fan meaning I have not watched professional wrestling in a long time I watch the commercials when they come on with interest but um, but in the 90s like when The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin like I was there and then I grew up with Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Ruddy Piper and those guys and so I was a male in the south growing up and so that's it.

Okay, so in professional wrestling. It's it is over the top You Soap opera theater, right? It is over the top. And so the bad guys are Horribly bad. They have to be bad enough that everybody is okay with violence being committed against them Like, you know, like like we have to feel good that this person's being beaten with a chair That's how bad they have to be and we love to switch sides meaning we love to have people who are the worst and then they You know turn and they become the good guy.

They betray the other bad guys, and we cheer for that person, and we hate when the good guy turns evil and betrays the other good guys, and then we hate that person more than anyone else. And it's all about the bad guys doing bad guy stuff so that the good guys can come running in from the back and just reap justice on the bad guys doing bad guy stuff.

And the crowd goes absolutely ballistic and like, this is, this is the essence of professional wrestling. The reason I'm talking about all of this is..

Stephanie Goss: I was wondering where going with this.

Dr. Andy Roark: I have been spending some time on VETstagram, which is the VET part of the Instagram world. And you know what I see in VETstagram all day, every day?

It's all, it's all professional wrestling. All of it. I was watching. I was just, I was just absolutely like, like just, just staring and I was like, okay, so here's the story Goss. There were these pet owners and I don't know if they're real. It doesn't matter? Nope, like it's, it's probably not, but there were these pet owners, and apparently they were really mean to this vet tech when it was talking, when, when they wanted the pet's nails trimmed, and so everybody's like, boo, and then the practice owner for the vet clinic was like, we're not gonna trim nails anymore, we're not doing it, and everybody's like, yeah, and then, the trolls came out, and they're like, that's your job, you have to trim these nails.

And are those people real? I can't imagine they are, but there they were in the comments. And then, the vet people, they circled up, and they came charging in from the back with their chairs, and just cleaned house on the trolls, and there were so many comment section was complete, like someone was thrown to a virtual table on the comment section and all of the good guys high fived and just the crowd went nuts.

And that happened on VETstagram that I was, that I was watching. And then I saw another one where there was this technician who was posting and she was like, I'm all about technician utilization. And then there were some doctors and they were in the comments and they were like, yes, we are too. But then it turned out that those doctors actually did stuff like drew blood by themself.

And the techs that knew the doctors, they came running in. And they were like, You don't really do this because I saw you draw blood and Shannon was standing there watching and you don't and then the vets were like, Oh, hold on a second because we're fighting burnout because we're not letting our technicians work alone.

And then a bunch of vets came running out of the back and they were just cleaning house and throwing people out of the ring. And it was just, I was watching and I was like, this is amazing. And now, I can't, I don't, I'm struggling to put that into a 500 word blog post.

Stephanie Goss: I wonder why. 

Dr. Andy Roark: I think more people should know about this because I was just standing there and I was just, I was like, this is bananas. It's bananas.

Stephanie Goss: Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark: The internet, the internet vet world, just so you know, I had this other thought, again, I'm, I'm weaving things together here. The internet vet world is like Neverland.

It is Neverland because it only exists if you believe in it if you log off and you're like these people are all nuts and they are not representative of the people I see in my day. That world is not real. It ceases to exist. You don't, it does not come into your practice but if you believe in it, you can go there and you're like and then somebody said trimming nails is your job and you have to get in there and do your job and shut up.

That that world only exists if you believe it exists and you choose to go and be there because it's not it's not real. It's not real unless you really want it to be and me. I haven't been on vestagram in a long time. I was just like I was like I, this is the other part I felt like Rip Van Winkle, you know when you fall asleep for 20 years and you wake up in the world, it is completely different.

I was like, I was talking to my friend and she was all into it, and I was like, what is this vet medicine that you are talking about? Because I don't know these people. And she was like, get on TikTok and you'll meet 'em. And I'm like, you mean go to Neverland? That's what you mean. You gotta believe and you go to Neverland and then you too can deal with people who hate you because of the dog food you recommend.

Stephanie Goss: Oh my goodness, okay, so what I'm 

Dr. Andy Roark: So anyway, it's been a day. It's been a day. 

Stephanie Goss: I don't even know how we record after that.

Dr. Andy Roark: I think we should take a break. We should take a break here. This might just be the episode right here. Just let's just call this week 32 and just cap it. I think we should take a break. I think we should take a break here and let you, let you collect yourself.

Stephanie Goss: Okay, so, um, The reason that you said that I look like perfection this morning when I absolutely do not, uh, is that we've got a mailbag about, about perfectionist, uh, a perfectionist person, and it's interesting because uh, I read this mailbag and I was like, oh, this is going to be one of those episodes where people are like 100%. This is my clinic, right? They're talking about my clinic. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh, sure.

Stephanie Goss: because I immediately recognized this person. and. It couldn't possibly be because I've been this person. so we had an email from a manager who was like, Hey, I have, I'm struggling with performance management and in two particular ways.

I have a member of my team who is. Uh, someone who has perfectionist tendencies and they mean well, they love their teammates, they have, they really truly mean well, and the constant corrections and the constant it's never good enough is taking a toll on the team. And as a result of that, this manager is like, it is in my problem.

It is in my lap to deal with as a problem because the team is super frustrated. And so they are wondering like, how do I manage this specifically? And then how do I deal with everyone doing the toxic positivity thing where like, it's all fine. It's all going to be fine. It's, you know, the world is great.

It's fine and dandy when they are not actually feeling that way. In fact, they're feeling very frustrated. And I thought, and so I thought, Hey, that's a, that's a really good one. Let's, let's, let's get into that.

Dr. Andy Roark: This is a really good one. Um, management of perfectionists is one of the number one things that we get asked about. It is, um, and I have, I have theories and I can't, I can't totally back this up. But, um, but there, there are theories. So, one of the things I can say for true is, so, I've talked to a number of different vet schools, and a lot of them won't share information with me, um, because I'm just some random guy who's calling the vet school.

But, um, But, you know, you and I teach DISC, uh, communication styles, and, uh, if you don't know about DISC or you'd like a primer in DISC, our Uncharted Leadership Essentials Certificate, which is free to Uncharted members and available for purchase on Vetfolio, um, we do a whole program on DISC and it's led by Stephanie Goss, and so you can learn more about DISC there.

Anyway, if you're into DISC, um, I have heard, again, this is anecdotal because it's a couple different vet schools that sort of put, put, gave me this information, but they, they wouldn't put it in writing, but just generally talking to people. It's my understanding that about 80 percent of vet students coming out of vet school are either C personality types or S personality types, or communication styles, sorry.

Uh, the S, uh, communication style is definitely the go along to get along, we want everybody to be okay, uh, personality. And the C is the conscientious personality type that wants to get the right answer. They want to make sure the details are done, you know, they, think of your, think of your of your editors, the ones who were like, I'm reading for sentence structure.

This needs to be right. Um, I'm going to fix these things. Uh, have we fact check this blah, blah, blah. This is the, one of the big reasons that you have veterinarians who say, show me the data, show me the data. Part of it is just how, how we are. I would say that. process of training veterinarians, it favors perfectionist personalities.

It is about can you get A pluses? Can you get the right answer again and again? And so people who are perfectionists tend to be well suited to climb the academic ladder, which is required to be a veterinarian. Now, um, it's not to dunk on on perfectionists or whatever, but what, That tendency will make you successful in the academic part of that medicine up until you graduate.

But then I think it genuinely makes life very hard once you have gotten out and you have graduated. And so I've got an article that I have, that I did actually write and it's coming out and I kind of meant it for new graduates and I was thinking about it. You know, I think when I graduated from vet school, I thought that I had acquired enough correct answers that when I, by the time I graduated, I would have clarity in the cases that were put before me, meaning I got a bunch of stuff right in the 9th grade, in the 12th grade, and then in college, and then in vet school, and I have taken so many tests that ultimately I have clarity.

But that's not how the word works. The way the world works is that easy questions get solved by the basic front line people and harder questions kind of move past those people. And so, especially now with the internet and people being able to Google things and YouTube, a lot of very basic things are just, we never even see them anymore.

And so the problem is in that medicine you train and train and train yourself up to the point where your job is not telling people what is good and what is bad. It is choosing between two objectively bad options. It is trying to do one thing when you do not have the resources to do that thing. And I think the reason I wrote this was I think that my gift to young vets is I got there and felt like I was the only person who thought that they were going to have clarity and did not have clarity.

And I was the only one who thought because I felt like I was wandering around trying to find an acceptable solution that I was failing. And the reality is, our training qualifies us simply to be the one who holds the torch in the darkness so that we can search for the answer and help other people find a path when there is no obviously correct path, and if there was, they wouldn't need us. So anyway, um, there's sort of that. I think that that's particularly hard on perfectionists. And I think, because of our training, I think we have a lot of perfectionists. And so I think that we have a lot of perfectionists, and I think that there are things about vet medicine that are very hard on perfectionists.

And I just, as, um, I don't know, that's just sort of one of the things about, about managing people. It's also just about being a person. I think you and I have both worked with people who have really been at war with themselves because they wanted perfection in situations where perfection is just not an option.

It's just not available. And so I think that there's, there's a, there's a lot there. So we get asked a lot about that. The toxic positivity part I think is interesting. I think it's a very separate question. Um, and I think we'll, I think we'll split them apart a little bit. Yeah, I think we'll split them apart a little bit, cause I, I, I can definitely get up on a big soapbox.

I don't know if we're gonna have time to unpack the toxic positivity part as much as I want, but, but we'll definitely touch on it. 

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. That sounds good. Maybe we'll get, maybe we'll get three podcast episodes out of this one.

Dr. Andy Roark: Exactly.

Stephanie Goss: We'll get our professional wrestling.

Dr. Andy Roark: Let's, now, well we gotta get this thing on the, Goss stop, stop stalling us here, we gotta get focused.

Stephanie Goss: Okay. Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark: Alright, so, uh, managing the perfectionist, your head, your head space is vital here. Because you are going to, you're going to engage with this person, who for God's sakes is doing her absolute best to get it right.

And I say her, it could be anybody, but. Let's just say her, um, who they are trying really hard. This person is not having problems because they don't care. They're having problems because they care a lot. And so, you're going to have to get into a healthy, patient frame of  mind. In order to, to manage this problem.

So one of the big things I would say up front at headspace is get centered, get in a place where you can be empathetic and where you can try to approach this person in good spirits. Do not wait until things blow up and you're angry because the staff is in an uproar, like this is the thing where you would like to work on with low stakes, low stress. This is going to take some time. This is not going to be a flip the switch. And this person with a perfectionist personality is going to recognize yeah, that they need to do things differently and just 100 percent change their way of existing in the world. That's not going to happen.

Also recognize that this is not going to be a uh, Um, one person fixes themself. This is going to have to be a migration of the team where we can try to meet in the middle a little bit and find outlets for the person who wants to push us to a higher standard of care to be able to do so without.

Exhausting the people who are, uh, having to carry out the work. You know what I mean? Or who don't, aren't necessarily bought into the level of care or they, who don't think that the pet owners can pay for the level of care. And you and I talk about that sometimes too. This can even be a values conflict.

And so I, you know, one of the, one of the values conflicts that I've seen in practice that is very hard to manage is if you have a doctor. Let's just say who, um, whose core value is the highest standard of care is what they care about. Like that is something they value as a person and they go to work in a practice where accessibility to care and every patient gets care is a core value.

Those two values can bump heads. And I'm not saying that one of them is right and one of 'em is wrong, but it's very hard to say. I only want the highest level of care, and then you're saying I want to make sure that every single pet that comes in these doors gets taken care of. Those two things can really conflict, and it's very hard to reconcile those.

It can also be flipped. I have seen practices that are like, we are the highest standard of care practice, and the veterinarian that's like, I don't want to I want to make this happen for anyone who walks in the door. And I don't want to tell people, I'm sorry, you should go somewhere else because you don't have the resources to do what we do here.

Um, That those things are very, they are very challenging, which is why I said, we have got to get in a good headspace and just start to work on this with the stakes are low and try to try to find a path together, because this can be very challenging to navigate. And sometimes it, sometimes it just doesn't work.

Sometimes it's just a. bad fit. Um, I hope it's not that, but, but let's start down the path. And ultimately, if we do this right, we'll have a, we'll have a good action plan. And if we walk through that action plan and, and the two sides just can't reconcile, this just might be a bad cultural fit. And I hate that, but it's possible, but I don't like to guess at those things.

I like to go through a process and explain what's happening. And ultimately, I will know what is kind, because if we have done all the steps and this person is still not getting along with the team, that person's not happy, the team is not happy, us continuing to be together is not the kindest thing for anybody.

And that makes all of this much more palatable to me.

Stephanie Goss: I think that the reason that the headspace, uh, of, getting, getting Zen, getting calm is so important is because this is a really, can be a really slippery slope as a manager. Um, if you don't see the tendencies in this person, the same way that the rest of the team is seeing them currently, it can be very easy.

To let the team unload their frustration and their anger and their feelings about the situation on you. And it is very, very slippery slope because it is very easy to then skew your perception and start looking at that person through the lens of the team's feelings. And it makes you an unobjective observer in this scenario.

And that's really, really important. That's really dangerous here because you have to be able to walk the line between empathy to both sides, to the rest of the team, and to this team member who is trying their heart out, and if you are in the position where you are starting to look at that person and judge them through the lens of the team's frustration, it becomes very hard to remain objective.

So I think taking the step back for yourself. And sorting out how you feel about the situation. and doing something to remind yourself, figuring out how to remind yourself, What do I know about this person? I know that this person is good. I know that they are kind. I know that they have the team's best interest at heart.

I know that they are trying really hard. You know, like you said in the beginning, This person is trying so hard and they're, they're trying so hard is what is ultimately frustrating the team. And that should be looked at through a positive lens, not a negative one. And so as a manager, I think you need to figure out how to write down some of those notes for yourself to say, this is what I know is true about this person, so that you can look back at it because it is very easy to find yourself in this process in a place where you're like, Oh, that person is driving me freaking nuts.

Even if you didn't think that way before the team said something about it,

Dr. Andy Roark: yeah, I think you're spot on. I would tell you that has been a personal development goal of mine over the last couple of years. I think I've come a long way. He's been very hard to get to get Zen because your team comes to you with their frustrations and feelings, and I tend to be pretty naturally empathetic and empathetic.

And so I. I will absorb those feelings, and then it just makes my job of actually dealing with the situation much, much harder. Jumping back to professional wrestling, it really is. I mean, we've had the experience, the team comes to you and they're like, And then, she said this, and that's when we knew that, and can you believe that?

And like, you can feel them winding up. And if you And, and if you aren't careful, they will, they will wind you up because they want you to come charging into the ring with a chair and to, and to vanquish the villains that are there. Like that's, and again, this is not, it's not manipulative. It's just human nature as we, we get started and we wind up and we get frustrated and we get a willing audience and, and venting feels good.

And, you know, and, and, um, and people will come to you as the boss and, and lay these things down and you just, jumping back to the professional wrestling metaphor, You, you have to lean back and watch the spectacle without getting sucked into the, the, the frenzy that's there. And that is, that is really hard.

And so anyway, I, I think that you're, I think you're spot on. I, I think in order to have a good headspace here, whenever I, I, I'm sort of managing a perfectionist personality, it's really important to me that I assume positive intent. And what that means is assuming that this person has some valid ideas, and that they are really are trying things for the best.

And it is. Possible that maybe they've gone a little bit far with this or or I mean again I I have been frustrated with teams before and just been like I am going to push this idea through And if people don't do it, I'm going to make them uncomfortable Until they do it and that is I can I can I can understand that mentality of, um, I want to be fear free, and if you're not going to be fear free, I'm going to give you crap about it, and I'm going to say something to you to make you uncomfortable, uh, you know, because you're not doing the thing that I want to do.

And if you buy into the importance of fear free, then you're like, maybe that's justified. It's not. It's not the right way to do things. It's not how we get people to buy in. It's not how we build a culture that is happy and feel safe and feels, um, like they have a voice. But if I can at least respect the person's desire to advocate for pets and what they're trying to do and validate that desire, I'm starting to make steps towards being able to work with this person.

Stephanie Goss: I was just going to say, I think on the flip side of the assuming good intent, I think the, the, it brings the other piece of the slippery slope for me in terms of being the coach in this scenario, which is you are going to have to do the footwork to bring empathy to the perfectionist on behalf of the team, because you are going to have to do the work to get them to be able to see the that they are going to have to pick their battles because when you meet in the middle, it means both sides have to move.

And so that person who is the perfectionist is going to have to get to the place where they let go of some things. And that is very, very hard work. Um, as a recovering, as a recovering perfectionist, um, being able to say, Good is good enough and I'm going to let go and I'm going to step back like that is very hard and so as the coach you are going to have to help them assume good intent about their teammates just because they're not doing it the way that they would do it does not mean that they should be.

Don't think they're worth is the work is doing worth doing it doesn't mean that they don't have the pets or clients best interest at Heart it doesn't mean that they don't want the job done They are just doing it differently and you're gonna have to coach them to that place and so being able to be objective for yourself about that and assume good intent is Really really powerful tool for helping get that person to assume good intent on behalf of the team.

Dr. Andy Roark: Absolutely. And I think you also have to approach this, and when you talk to this person, the perfectionistic doctor, you need to seek to understand. Do not make assumptions about why they're being a perfectionist. Assumptions are your, are your enemy here. You do not want to believe, you think you're better than us.

And it is very easy to tell yourself stories when we're managing a perfectionist person about, you don't think we're good enough, you don't think we're smart enough, you don't, you know, you don't understand what our clients are dealing with, whatever. Don't you need to seek first understand and the reason you really need to do that one is so you can understand what this person cares about so we can have a productive conversation, but then two, you're going to have to change teams just so you know, and then you're going to have to go back and you're going to have to have the same conversation with the rest of the team, which means when you talk to the perfectionist, you're going to need to advocate for the team, and then because we're probably going to end up meeting in the middle, you are going to have to go back to the team and advocate for that doctor the same way of these are the points.

These are the things that are important. These are the changes that we're going to commit to making and how we're going to commit to making them. And a lot of times, again, this goes to headspace. It it's not all or none. And a lot of times meeting in the middle, people think, Oh, we're going to halfway do everything this person wants.

You know, that's not what I mean. It's about, it's a, it's about when we have someone on our team who wants to move the practice forward, even if we don't think it's how we move forward, it's about getting intentional. And saying, let, let's try some things, what are the things that are most important to you?

Is it the way we're doing surgery? Is it the way that we're taking histories in the exam room? Is it way we're leveraging our support staff? What is the most important thing? And we will talk about how we can work on that. The most important thing. And then we'll see how this goes. And then we'll work on the next thing.

But it can't be a full frontal assault of we're gonna fix all these things. We're gonna change all these things. And so a lot of times, and that's also much more palatable to the team is to say, All right, our doctor is gonna lean back on some of these things, and we're gonna work instead on our work.

Uh, anesthesia space prep, you know, pre surgical intake, you know, programs, and that's where we're going to work. And that way you can feel like you're giving this person attention, you're letting them work on something, the practice is getting better, but it's not a constant, we're getting criticized in

Stephanie Goss: About all the things. Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: there's that, there's that, there's that intentional. One of the big things, and we have this conversation again, this is a headspace as well, but I am going to go and talk to this person. I need to seek first to understand. I need to understand what is driving this. And then I want to focus the conversation on what we agree on, like what, You say this is important to you, this is really important to us.

Let's find as much commonality as possible. Because a lot of times the perfectionist feels like no one cares but them.

Stephanie Goss: Yep.

Dr. Andy Roark: And I do not want them to believe that. I need to, without calling it out, I want to make them understand. You and I are largely on the same page. Like we, we want this and, and honestly, just hearing them and have them hear you about what you're trying to do can often bridge that gap and make that person not feel so alone, which makes them often more open to taking some feedback and meeting in the middle.

If they feel like there's nothing in common, it's really hard to meet in the middle. Cause that's usually a chasm. And so we're going to meet in the middle of this chasm. Like that's not good. Um, We want to do that. I think, um, asking for, uh, for input on how things with the team are going is a good way to open this up.

And it's because the team has come and they said, well, this person is, you know, criticizing this and that. And the other thing,

Stephanie Goss: right. Mm-Hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark: to tell ourself a story. This person is, is frustrated. They're angry. They're unhappy. Maybe they are. Maybe they're not. I think a good opening to the conversation, I mean, how do you feel like things are going with the team?

Um, Are you are you feeling well supported? Are you feeling frustrated in your interactions? Talk to me just a little bit about about about day to day working with the team how you're feeling

Stephanie Goss: Mm-Hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark: And that's and now at this point the person kind of knows something up That's still okay because i'm not i'm not trying to trap them I just want to kind of understand how they're feeling about their interactions with the other staff members And if they say I feel great.

I really like this them, then this is a different conversation. This is, oh, they have the perception that they're failing you or that you think that they're failing them. And now this is a conversation about how we're communicating, presenting ourself. If the person says, I'm really unhappy with the team, I feel like they're lazy and they don't want to work hard.

I don't. Okay. Tell me more about that. What does that look like? Why do you, why do you have that impression? Can you give me any specific examples? And this is also because I'm going to have to flip this back and talk to the team. I need to understand what this person's saying, and I'm not trying to trap them.

I'm trying to understand so that I can talk to them. Is it true that you guys are doing this? And I will tell you the number of times that someone on the team has come to me And pointed a finger at someone else And then I do some investigation and I'm like Go back to the first person who was the original finger pointer and say Did you really say these things?

And they're like, well, yes, but I was like, you precipitated all of this And then you came and told me other people were villains When you in fact We're the one who hit your friend with a chair from behind and became a bad guy.

Stephanie Goss: Those are the, those are the moments of joy for a manager where you have to look at yourself in the mirror or sometimes in your therapist's office and say, am I, am I. Managing a team of of toddlers that can't talk to one another because

Dr. Andy Roark: You are. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. You are.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah,

Dr. Andy Roark: You are. They're all children, including us. We're all children. Everyone is 11 years old inside. And just, if you just accept that, it is so much easier.

Stephanie Goss: Yes, and it it is true, and I don't mean that in a belittling way, like our, you know, our team is children, but the reality is that most of us stop communication training at a childhood level. And so when you think about working with your team, the communication skills that most of us have are childhood level, and we have got to figure out how to do that.

get them to talk to one another. And it's interesting, you know, you were saying, um, asking the, the perfectionist, you know, opening wide and asking them how things are going. And you mentioned needing to talk to the team and, and deal with the flip side as well. And I think that's really, really important.

You have to, as the manager in the situation, the big part of the responsibility that sits in your hands is figuring out what the stories being told are, because there's always at least two sides to every story, and the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle, and you have to figure out, is it closer to the one side than the other?

Is it in the middle of a chasm or is it like in the middle ish and close to a bridge, right? Like where, where do things really stand? And so I think, um, the key for me for this from trying to look at the commonality is where is everybody standing now? Because that's going to help you game plan the action steps for how do I actually The story is that they're on total opposite sides and you can observe that with your own eyes.

You have significantly more work to do to try and get them into the middle. But if they're standing close ish to each other and there's some mild disagreement there, then That's a lot easier to approach and manage, and that's part of your discovery processes as a manager, and I think that's why I love your approach to just start wide and start gathering information, because this is not something that you try and solve overnight.

This is the thing that you have to have the casual conversations, you have to gather the info, and then you have to do some observing on your own part, really, if you're going to handle this well, because the best thing is to not be able to say, well, the team is telling me this. The best thing is to be able to sit down with both sides and have the conversation and say, Hey, yesterday when I was hanging out at the front desk and chatting with everybody, I noticed that you did this.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah.

Stephanie Goss: I noticed that the team's reaction to it was this. Tell me more about how you were feeling when that happened, right? Like, it feels radically different if I can present them that example as a manager from my own observations, rather than relying on the he said, she said, front versus back, you know, all of that.

That's where a lot of us come from. as managers struggle is we bring it to somebody. And to your point, how many times have you gotten the story? And then you go back to the person who told you the story in the first place. And it's like, that's not the actual story that I'm getting. You know, you left out a big piece.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. One of, one of my favorite phrases here as well during this exploratory phase is, um, Why, why is that so important to you? Like this, this seems to be really important to you. Help me understand for you, why is this so important? Like, what is, what is it that, that makes this so valuable?

That our practice behave this way? And you can learn a lot about the person that way. And that will, those ultimately, they give you a lot of tools. Tools to work with and understand where these behaviors are coming from and what this person cares about, and that helps you kind of negotiate with them on what we're going to do and what we're kind of not going to do and, and what can you be happy about us doing first, or what can you be happy about us focusing on this year, um, and to try to get them that place.

The last thing I'm going to put down in headspace here is this, and I hate to kind of add it, but I think it is important. There is one. type of showdown with sort of a perfectionist personality that I found to be particularly challenging. And again, I, where are you sharing this? Because if I, when I tell people this, oftentimes they can jump and go, Oh, yep, that's what I'm dealing with.

And I'm like, I just, I want you to go through the process of trying to understand the person. There is a way of looking at the world that I call the moral lens or the justice lens. And where in my experience, this can get really tricky is if there is someone who says, um, Providing the highest level of care or doing it this way is the morally correct thing to do.

Um, that is really hard to deal with. And so let, let me, um, let me try to frame this up. So example would be, um, if I said, why is that so important to you? And they say, because it's the right way to do it. And I would say, are you open to, to looking at alternative ways to do it, or are you open to, uh, letting the technicians do it the way they've done it previously, just because they're trained that way, they're comfortable that way, and they say to me something like, if you cared about pets, you would do it this way.

And that's an extreme case. But I have run into that, and I think that that is a really difficult mindset. It's a just, it's sort of the justice mindset is. It's, it's the, it's the pet owner saying, if you cared about pets, you would do it for free. It's, it's, I have run into people in vet medicine who are like, if you cared about pets, you would be fully fear free certified.

And I'm like, ooh, you, you're attacking my ethics. You're attacking my ethics because I didn't because our practice doesn't do this program not a slam on the program There's a million reasons that a practice would not be fear free certified. They would have other things to do again I'm using fear free as an example, but um, but when you say the only the only Possible excuse for you not doing this is you don't care or you're just trying to make money.

That is, um, one, that's, that's hurtful. It's bad communication on the part of the doctor. I hope they don't really feel that way. But if someone takes up that position, it is very hard to get them to meet you in the middle.

Stephanie Goss: Well, it's assuming bad intent on the other person's side, no matter, no matter what. It's a no. It's a no-win situation. There's no, there is no, there's no compromise and. In that situation, because no matter what you do, unless you do what that person wants, they're holding you hostage. It's like the emotional hostage, uh, you know, tactics that clients take with the front desk and that, that emotional blackmail.

I think a lesser, a less extreme version of that too is, is the team members. And I offer this because I think we've all had experience working with this person to some degree, is the person who truly believes. But there's only one right way to do it.

Dr. Andy Roark: yes.

Stephanie Goss: are some things in veterinary medicine where there is a right way to do it, and that is it.

And veterinary medicine is nothing but shades of grey. And there are so many things that we do all day, every day, that have different degrees of correctness. And it's not wrong if someone does it differently. And if you have that person where they truly believe there is only one right way to do it, that is really tricky.

And I love your, your, your asking them, Andy, like, um, to tell you more about that, because I think it helps open up the doors to, is this perfectionist? Like, are they assuming that that's what you want? Not because they've been told that that's what you want, but because that's what they think makes a good job.

Like, is this a place where you can teach them, hey, there's more than one way to do this. And I'm okay with either way, as long as the job gets done. And I can't tell you how many times I've had that conversation. in particular with my front desk team, where I've said to them, Oh, yeah, I mean, you could do it that way.

I might do it this way, a third way, but realistically, I don't care which way any of you do it as long as the job gets done. And I have had them look at me and say, you know, like, I think that sometimes that we rush through so many things with our team, and we don't lay out those expectations. I think a big part of this conversation, at least with the perfectionists in particular, is Is this something that they are, is this another story that they're telling themselves in their, he in their head?

Is there only one right way to do it? Did someone actually tell them that? Or is this something that they have assumed and made a leap between what they know and what they think?

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I agree. Let's, uh, let's take a quick break here and then we're gonna hammer out these action steps on, on how we go forward from here.

Stephanie Goss: Sounds good.

Hey everybody, it's Stephanie and I am here because we have launched registration for our Practice Owner Summit 2024. And if you are a practice owner, I want you to make sure that you are going to be joining us in Atlanta for this event because as a practice owner, either you run the day or the day runs you.

And so we are coming together to help you Make your business something that works for you instead of you working for it. Because practice ownership is a high wire act. You are always balancing everything that you do is being watched and judged by the clients and the team. And so nobody feels those missteps and the failures more than the owner.

And at the same time, the rewards of having something that you own and that you ultimately have responsibility for the successes over is incredibly intense and rewarding. And so we are pulling together some of our favorite people in veterinary medicine to have a practice owner summit that is designed to Build a network for you of your fellow practice owners, get you guys working together on the challenges that your businesses are facing and be able to provide insight on some topics that might support a specific practice ownership goals.

So it is happening December 5th through the 7th. We are going to Atlanta. We're not in Greenville this year. We're going to be in Atlanta at a new venue for us. We're going to be at the Switch Yards downtown. Super excited. It's a cool, funky, hip place and I can't wait to, uh, to explore it with everybody.

This is a two and a half day program. So we are there the 5th, of December. And we're going to do what we do. We're going to have choose your own adventure sessions. We're going to have some activities. We're going to have some time to really truly get into it with our fellow practice owners and talk about the joys, some of the pitfalls and problem solve some of those challenges that we face as practice owners.

So head over to the website at unchartedvet.com/events And now back to the podcast. 

Dr. Andy Roark: All right. So as I said, I think this is a two part process. The first thing is we're going to talk to the veterinarian, and then we're going to have to go back and talk to the team and advocate for the veterinarian so that everybody is going to give everybody else a chance. And it has to be both sides.

It's not that the veterinarian is going to be humbled and go back to the team with his hat in his hands. Um, it's like, you know, let's hear this person and support them, and then let's go back to the other team and hear them, and then talk about how we meet in the middle. Okay. Um This is a little bit different because it's the paraprofessionals, the support staff, talking about a doctor.

If this is a intra technician or even intra doctor conflict where they're going, Well, I don't like the way that this person does it. Um, I am wary about solving other people's problems. I really like them to try to work it out as grown ups and, um, my first step often would be like, Well, let's have a, let's have a technician meeting and let's talk about this and how we feel.

And, and the nice thing is that I, I can mediate, but I am not the errand boy who is running back and forth between these two groups, begging them both to like each other. It's like, no, we're gonna, we're gonna sit down together and do this like grown ups. Again, that is different when it's, the texts are, feel like the doctor is giving them constant negative feedback.

I think that's, that's different. Um, remember that you're not going to be able to work with this person, the perfectionist, until you validate all the good things they're doing and the good reasons behind what they're doing and point out all the things that you agree on and make them feel appreciated for their efforts to improve the hospital.

And that needs to be genuine, but you need to try to get to that point where you're, where you are agreeing with the things you can agree with and you are thanking them. For pushing to make the practice better because in their mind that is that is what they're doing

Stephanie Goss: Mm-Hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark: be really wary of pointing out Failures, right?

You didn't do this um I'm a much bigger fan with my perfections of pointing out successes and then talk about what even better

Stephanie Goss: Mm-Hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark: or talk about how good a job we did and what the next step looks like or where I'd like to see us go in the next six months. And that might be That might not make sense when I say it, but it's a difference in saying, Hey, look, Stephanie, you know, your, your interactions with the staff are not good.

And we need to fix them. If Stephanie is a perfectionist, this is devastating. If I say, Stephanie, um, I really appreciate your help yesterday with, uh, Bobo Jenkins. And, um, I, I really like the way that you sort of, uh, worked with the staff and, and, and did some training and stuff as, as we went forward. I think where I would like to see in the next six months, I'd like to see you continue to strengthen that relationship with the support staff.

Um, I think that you're a great teacher, and I think that, I think that maybe the staff sometimes feels intimidated. And I, I, I'd like to see you working more sort of collegially in a, in a way where we're really taking advantage of your knowledge. And they're feeling like. And they're feeling like they have valuable skills to bring to the table and that they're supporting you.

And that's kind of where I would like to see us go in the next six months. And that, that does not feel like, Hey, you have failed and I need you to fix your failure. It's like, no, again, only say if it's true. I'm not going to tell someone they're doing a great job on something that I did not think they were doing a great job on.

But oftentimes I can look at a person in their day and find examples of the things I would like to see them do more of and call those things out. So that's, that's a big one for me.

Stephanie Goss: I think that goes for the team as well from, from the, to, you know, speaking to the manager who's managing the situation, I think both of your, your points, Andy, about validating the good things that this person is doing and the reasons behind it, and then getting them to focus not on the failures, but on the successes.

I think those are two, two, two tools. And that's why I, I agree with you when you said this is going to be a long process. Those are tools that if your team does not possess them, you are going to have to teach them those, those skills. You are going to have to teach them how to look, uh, positively at each other and assume the good intent and find the good in what, what each other is doing.

Um, and you, it is a very powerful tool to teach them how to look for the things that are going right. And Recognize that we all have opportunities where we can do things even better. And it's not personal. It's the job itself. And so, Hey, we're doing a great job with this. And what if we did this next time?

What if we tried this teaching them, not only that skillset to look at it in an even better yet framework, but also teaching them the language tool of making it a we, instead of a you and a me and that stopping of the finger pointing, that's part of teaching them how to solve their own problems. That's a, that's a long, that's a long play.

It's, it's definitely not, you know, a short one.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yep. I agree. I think the next tool in our toolbox is going to be leveraging the other doctors I mean again, I know if you're a true vet practice, this is a little bit more challenging than larger vets But so let's give an example. Let's just say that induction protocols, surgical induction protocols are a real sticking point.

This doctor says this is what we want to do and you guys are not doing it right and You know, blah, blah, blah. And the techs are feeling picked on and blah, blah, blah. And all those sorts of things. Uh, my question is, what are the other doctors doing? And, you know, can we bring the other doctors together and say, guys, uh, as a group of doctors, hello, group of doctors, we're having some questions from the technician about how we want to do this, because they're having different experiences with their different doctors.

Some of them are uncertain about what they're supposed to be doing. I wanted us to come together and try to reach a consensus about generally how we are going to do our, uh, anesthesia induction protocols and that way I can bring the doctors together and if I can get them to reach some sort of a consensus I can take that consensus back to the techs and say this is how the doctors together want to do this.

Now, some people say our practice is built on doctors being able to do whatever they want. I would say there can be some middle ground there. Meaning, I'm not telling you what drugs to use, but I am telling you, hey, this is how we're going to take patients in, this is how we're going to, they're going to be prepped.

There's a lot of things that we can agree on, even if we say doctors are going to pick their individual drugs. Um, there are, there are some things that we can still agree on, and I could still focus, uh, emphasize to the doctors, hey, getting some continuity so techs know what to expect is really important.

If you still can't do that, I would say at this point you're picking your poison. And so some people say, I don't want to try to get the doctors to make an agreement, it's too hard. Well, you either get to deal with the doctors trying to reach an agreement, or you get to deal with the headaches of the doctors doing things differently and wanting their own wishes honored.

Those are the two paths. Like, you get to deal with whichever path you want. Uh, you're, you take, but they, they both have downsides, um, but you are, you are at least picking your poison and you can feel like you have some agency in that, in that regard. It may be time after this to have a team culture ways of working conversation so everybody can hear each other.

And sort of build a collective vision of what, uh, the team working together looks like. And so that can be a larger staff meeting. One of my favorite ones is the way our friend, uh, Maria Prita does it, where she'll bring a team together and say, Alright guys, we're gonna make a list. What does a, uh, a high performing team, what do they look like?

What do they sound like? What do they feel like? Meaning, what does it feel like? feel like day to day to be a part of this team. How can we be more like this team? How can we communicate better? What's important to us? And that can provide a framework for people to talk about what they care about and what they're trying to accomplish.

And it's it's different than sitting people down and putting the staff on one side of the room and putting the doctor on the other side of the room and having them talk about their feelings to each other, which I think is generally a recipe for disaster. Um, So, yeah, but it's a way to get into that conversation that's not directly pointed at you guys are mad at her and she's mad at you.

Let's talk about it.

Stephanie Goss: Right. Yeah. I, I think part of it too, is this is a good opportunity to ask the team, um, For what they want to see in, because really this is about, it's about the work getting done, but as we've dug into this, a huge part of this is about, probably more about the feedback. that the rest of the team is either giving or receiving to each other than is about the work itself.

Because either they're getting feedback from the perfectionist that feels negative to them or feels like they're doing something wrong, or they're just, because clearly there was in the letter some conversation about the corrections, right? So the, the conversation for me really is about what the team is about.

What do we want this to feel like? All of us, like, we all like to hear, we've done a great job. When you get told that you have done a great job and it feels like really good, think, think to, you know, think back to a time using positive, affirmative inquiry, like asking them to think, think about a time when you got some feedback from somebody on the team that made you feel really good.

What did they say to you? And how did they say it? And pulling those pieces out to ask them, How do we, how do we give each other feedback in a way that still lets us walk away and feel positive about it? Even if something has been done wrong. Because the reality is, we're humans. And we are all going to make mistakes.

And I want us to have a place where we can acknowledge those mistakes. and safely still take care of our clients and our patients. If we make a mistake with a patient, like I want any member of the team to feel like it's okay to say, Hey guys, I made a mistake. I need help. Right? Like you want to know that as quickly as possible, particularly when a patient is involved, building that safety with the team is only going to happen with having those conversations.

And so I think the low stakes piece, I love Maria's approach. And another way to approach it is to ask them like, when you've had this go well, what did that look like? What did it feel like? And use that to build, okay, how are we going to do this collectively as a group moving forward?

Dr. Andy Roark: yeah, I love it. Um, I think you're spot on on coaching on how to give feedback, uh, both, both to the both to the staff and to the doctor, but, um, that that coach on positive feedback over negative, um, it's, uh,

Stephanie Goss: hmm. Mm

Dr. Andy Roark: I understand. Mm hmm. The tendency, if you see mistakes, you want to fix mistakes, but I will tell you. As an associate vet especially, positive feedback is your friend, which means sometimes letting a little things go and instead catching someone who's doing it the way you want and praising them publicly, um, is the way to train people. Because again, the techs aren't trying to fight you, they want to make you happy.

And if you just tell them, Hey, when you did that, that was really great. I really liked how you did that. Or, um, something like that, but this it's easy to reinforce those tendencies. Um, especially if you do it with other techs around and say, Hey, I love, this is the way I want it done. I just, I really love the way you did this.

Then it's not you. It is you pointing out when someone's doing a really good job and the rest of them, they want to get patted on the back. And so just, just be on your game, pay attention, uh, catch people doing things that you like and positively reinforce them. I think Frank, um, one of the things about the perfectionist is, you know, It can feel really demoralizing to feel like you're supposed to change who you are, or that you're wrong.

And again, for someone who has a perfectionist personality, being wrong is really hard. It can be really helpful to frame success not as you're right and you got your way, or you're wrong and you didn't get your way. It can, you can reframe the game as we need to get the team to buy in to these changes.

Let's talk about how to do that. Because then the challenge is not knowing what is good or what is bad. It is, all right, great. I hear you. How are we going to get the team to come on board with this? And that can frame things up where they go, Oh, Yes, maybe we could do some training. Maybe we could pick one thing and work on it.

And now they're helping us get an action plan that's going to make them happy. But, um, but a lot of that, if you can just change it, a lot of people think, again, this is sort of, I think this is a, I hate to say a mark of immaturity, but I think it is. I think it's a mark of immaturity to believe that I know things you don't know.

Um, the, the mark of maturity is to say there's a lot of different ways to do things, and I need to be smart about looking at our team and figuring out how I'm going to get other people to buy into the way that I think we should do them and build consensus and get this built into our culture. culture.

And so I just, it's funny. I see a lot of people stamping their foot and sticking their lip out and saying, well, this is the, this is, this is the right way to do it. And I'm like, you don't understand the assignment. The assignment is not for you to know the quote unquote best way. The assignment is for you to be able to talk to other people in a way that get them to.

buy in and feel good about what you want to

Stephanie Goss: hmm. Mm

Dr. Andy Roark: along for the ride. But that's, that's a, that's a maturity

Stephanie Goss: hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm

Dr. Andy Roark: And so, yeah, the last thing is switching over to action steps, generate a priority list of the issues that the perfectionist person would like to see changed. And then, uh, this is try to get them into the mindset of not nitpicking everybody about everything, but.

picking one area that we're going to focus on and we're going to lean back a little bit on the other areas, but we're going to work on this area and try to give them something that's productive that everyone can agree on. Okay, we're going to work on this, but that means we're going to let some other stuff go for right now.

And again, I'm not talking about letting things go if they're negligent, if they're dangerous, things like that. But, but you get the ideas is. I don't know, if you've ever tried to fix everything at once, you have realized how terrible that is, and how it never works. And just, this is just getting the person who's clearly They're trying to help.

It's just about getting them focused in a way where that we can actually start to implement some things that are going to help make them happy and also let the team feel safe in that they're not constantly feeling like they're going to mess up and get in trouble. That's that.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, I love it. 

Dr. Andy Roark: yeah, that's, uh, that's kind of the big thing.

Uh, the, the toxic positivity part, uh, we did not touch on at all. I think it's, it's, uh, Just

Stephanie Goss: That's a whole other episode.

Dr. Andy Roark: it is well It's it's really hard to do anything about this without examples and I would just say this What are my frustrations in vet medicine right now is? There are a lot of people who are really cynical About that medicine and i'm not saying that's what's being happened here But there are a lot of people who are cynical and I go in and i'm like, hey guys This is a great profession and I really love it here.

And I know that that client was You Really nasty to us, but I expect that person was having a really terrible day and that I believe that they were probably doing their best and I'm going to try just to let it go and people, there are people who would say that's toxic positivity. And to me, I go, I don't, I don't think it is.

It's just, it's how I, it's how I want to cope and how I want to go forward. And again, the devil is in the details. Like, what exactly are we talking about? There are some things that sometimes being optimistic is not a bad thing. Okay. And sometimes it is, and if you're doing something that makes people feel like their complaints or their concerns are invalid, or they're not being heard, I need to know what the specifics are in that so we can have a conversation about that.

I think going to someone and saying, you're being toxically positive, I think that's generally a really bad idea because it's vague, and I don't know what you're talking about. The best thing is just to break it down into, hey, when someone says this thing, and you say, you know what, that's just the job, let's go. can make that person feel like they're not being heard and like, um, and like they're never going to get supported or that they're, yeah, or they're being dismissed. And then you just coach them on, on delivery and feedback. And again, that's, that's generally how I approach those sorts of things. Um, I would probably try to separate that apart from the perfectionist stuff.

Um, oftentimes, honestly, if you fix the perfectionist stuff, a lot of the other behaviors will go away. And so anyway, I'm not saying I don't care about it, I'm saying it's lower on my priority list, and I really kind of need to know the specifics, and then it's just gonna be a basic, hey, um, the old SBI, this was the situation, this was the behavior that you exhibited, and this is the impact that it had on people.

And, and I was wondering if you could help me out with that or do that differently next

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Alright, we are out of time. 

Stephanie Goss: This was a, you know, this was a fun one.

Dr. Andy Roark: was, it's 100 percent worth being out of time for me to get to talk

Stephanie Goss: Wrestling. Pro wrestling. Who knew?

Dr. Andy Roark: thing that's in my brain. I know.

Stephanie Goss: Who knew? All right. Uh, take care everybody. Have a great week.

Dr. Andy Roark: Thanks, everybody!

Stephanie Goss: Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message.You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can. Email us at podcast at uncharted vet. com. Take care everybody and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Vet Tech

Jul 24 2024

The Associate Didn’t Do Anything Wrong

A practice owner is struggling how to communicate taking responsibility even when they didn't do anything wrong. In this episode of the Uncharted Veterinary Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and Stephanie Goss tackle a tough mailbag question from a practice owner dealing with a post-surgery complication. After a routine spay, a client reported swelling at the incision site, which quickly escalated to an emergency vet visit. The associate vet who performed the surgery believes they did nothing wrong, as confirmed by the emergency vet. However, the practice owner is considering helping with the ER bill to maintain client trust, but struggles with the associate's concerns about admitting fault. Andy and Stephanie dive into the complexities of balancing client care, maintaining team morale, and upholding the practice’s integrity. They offer insights on handling post-surgical complications, fostering open communication, and navigating the delicate balance between supporting clients and protecting the veterinary team. Let's get into this episode…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · 297 – Assoc. Didn't Do Anything Wrong

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

🌟 Discover What's Next at Uncharted Veterinary Events!

Stay ahead in your veterinary career with Uncharted Veterinary's exciting lineup of events for 2024! Our website is constantly updated with the latest information, offering both fresh, innovative sessions and beloved classic events. Whether you’re looking to engage with top industry speakers or connect with our vibrant community, there’s something for everyone. Check out unchartedvet.com/events and join us for an inspiring year!

🌟 Elevate Your Leadership at the Uncharted Team Leads Summit!

Set a reminder for September 18th and join us at the Uncharted Team Leads Summit, an event crafted specifically for veterinary team leaders. We're thrilled to present a lineup of expert speakers, including Dr. Andy Roark on transformative leadership techniques and Sarah Parsons on fostering positivity within your team. Gain essential skills in conflict mediation with Maria Pirita and learn how to be a motivational coach with Kelsey Beth Carpenter and Tyler Grogan. Take advantage of this chance to boost your leadership abilities, overcome typical management hurdles, and elevate your team's performance. Transform your leadership approach and inspire your team at this must-attend summit!

Upcoming events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/

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Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to discuss on the podcast? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! Submit it here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag

Upcoming events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss and this is another episode of the Uncharted podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I are talking about a case where an associate veterinarian had a surgery go wrong and they ended up in the ER. The associate is really frustrated that the practice owner or medical director wants to help reimburse the client for the care that they had to undergo at the ER.

They don't understand why, and there's some tension and this this medical director or a practice owner reached out for some advice on how do I talk about this with the associate? Because I feel like this is the right thing to do for the client. This one brought up both some personal experiences for both Andy and I, and it was a lot of fun to talk about. Let's get into it.

Announcer: And now, the Uncharted Podcast. 

Dr. Andy Roark: It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie Blame It On The Rain Cause the rain don't care, Goss. Cause the rain don't mind, or the rain don't, anyway, anyway. (Singing) Blame It On The Rain. Yeah, yeah.

Stephanie Goss: I was hoping you would sing it. Thank you. Uh, good morning, Andy Roark. How are you doing? Good morning. 

Dr. Andy Roark: I am, I'm great. I am busy. I'm busy.

Stephanie Goss: You look very tan.

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh, yeah, I've got, I mean it's summer here. I've been I haven't I haven't burned but I've gotten a tan which is good for me. I have gone full dad mode this summer. I'll just be honest with you. I got full dad mode. I have reached the point in my life Stephanie Goss where I wear big floppy yard hats and have those and I have zero cares.

I have a sun shirt, and a big floppy yard hat, and I wear the zinc based sunscreen, that's, it doesn't matter how much you rub it, it's still white. And like, I, it's funny, cause I look at myself in the mirror, and I was like, this is what has become of you. And I am, I am okay with it. I've had this thought, I'll just tell you this.

You know, Like, to, let me tell you, okay, let's talk about dad jokes for a second, okay? You know what dad jokes are? Dad jokes are a complete flex by a person who has reached a point in their life where they're like, I don't care. I don't need to be cool. I don't need to be cool. And I'm like, how powerful is that?

And it's like, you want to talk about secure? Picture me in my floppy hat with my sun shirt talking about, talking about “Hey, Hey there was a guy who went to a costume party and he walked in with a woman on his back and he told the host, I'm a turtle, and the host said, Okay, but who is that woman on your back? And he says, that's Michelle.” 

And I'm like, that's how I'm living. That's how I'm living today. I like bam. I've got I've got white sunscreen on my face that you can see telling dad jokes because I don't need your approval.

Stephanie Goss: Oh my god, I can't. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Roll up with socks and sandals and don't care. Like, what a flex that is. I just think about being in high school and how in knots I was about how I was perceived.

Versus now. 

Stephanie Goss: Zero F’s given. 


Andy Roark: Zero F's given. I went on this program that my wife was running for college students. And it was her. And me, and 17 college students, and I just dad joked all over them. They were, we were traveling together, so she runs this program to the Galapagos, and we were coming back from this international flight to the Galapagos, and I got these kids that are there, and there were these guys, and one of them has gotten the complimentary pillow from the plane.

You know the one with like the paper like, yeah, the little one, he's got it tucked into his bag. It's like, like he's strapped to his bag, like his backpack. Because he's taking it through security. And I just couldn't help myself. And so I looked at him and said, and we were in the line for TSA, so there's no getting out.

And I said to him, that's not the pillow from the plane, is it? And he said, yeah. And I said, you know, it's illegal to take those.

Stephanie Goss: You're so mean.

Dr. Andy Roark: And the kid next to him goes, Oh shit, I took the blanket. I'm like, you took the blanket? You guys are going down. And then the line moved and I just walked away. And they came up to, oh, they totally, I didn't, I was like, okay, I'm screwing with these guys. I didn't realize that they perceived me as an authority figure because I'm 25.

Stephanie Goss: Who would picture you as an adult?

Dr. Andy Roark: Look, look, I'm married to the authority figure. Like, let's be like, there's no doubt about who's in charge.

Look at this, I am 100 percent sponging a trip to the Galapagos here, like, I am not an authority figure by any measure. And boy, they, I didn't realize that they thought basically one of the professors told them they were going down. I'm sorry, I did not perceive myself in the role that you see me in.

But I don't care, I don't care. Ha, ha, ha.

Stephanie Goss: Oh, God, I can’t. 

Dr. Andy Roark: So, yeah, it's been a good summer. It's been a good summer.

Stephanie Goss: I would agree, I would agree about the dad jokes. I have reached a point now where the kids just think it's hilarious because you know, I, I was inspired earlier this year when we. Maybe it was even last year when we came to Greenville and we started telling dad jokes and you started videoing some of them when we were all together and I was inspired.

And so now I have started a Hey Tyler Grogan series on my Instagram and I love to give Tyler the, the dad jokes because you know, we love dad jokes and Uncharted and so she shares them in our newsletter and stuff. Well, my kids have worked at first they were quite appalled. And I had a conversation with Jackson and he's like, mom, you seriously get on the internet and tell dad jokes.

And I was like, yes, yes, I do. He's like, and someone pays you for that. And I was like, yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: I do yes, it's Andy. Andy pays you for that.

Stephanie Goss: And that was exactly what Riley said. She's like, yeah. And he pays her for that because he's the coolest boss ever.

Dr. Andy Roark: I am a cool. I am a very cool boss. I'm a very cool boss. Sometimes I myself ask myself you, you, you you pay people to do this. Like, this is, like, they're,

Stephanie Goss: Like, right now, like right now when you're staring at me in the camera.

Dr. Andy Roark: Like, right now! I'm like, like, sit still and let me tell you about going through security. Yeah, that actually ties into what we're talking about today a bit. 

Stephanie Goss: Oh my God, speaking of authority figures.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, speaking of authority and what we pay people for let's get in, let's get into this mailbag.

Stephanie Goss: Okay, we got, we got a good one. So, we had a veterinarian and I'm going to assume that it's the practice owner because they said one of their associates. So practice, practice owner, medical director position and one of the associate doctors spayed a pet and a couple days later the client called because there was some swelling at the incision and they sent over a photo.

And the vet took a look at it and said, I, you know, I think it might be a seroma. And a couple hours later, the client sent a text to one of their friends who happens to work at the hospital at the front desk and the intestines were hanging out of the belly. And so the CSR was like, Oh my God, the hospital's closed.

Like you need to go to the, they recognized that it was like an emergency, and they were like, you need to go to the er. So, they, the clinic got the records after the pet had been seen at the ER, everything went, went well. But clearly the suture had ruptured. 

So the doctor at the ER actually told the clients that the knots were still intact and it didn't seem like there was any trauma or anything, but the suture had ruptured, so the pet did really well. At the er. The client was fine and they were contacting the clinic afterwards to talk to them about help her paying for the ER bill. And so, this medical director or practice owner was talking to their associate and trying to figure out what the right thing to do is here.

Because the associate doctor was like, I don't think I did anything wrong. The knots were intact. There wasn't any signs that the pet was licking or that there was trauma. So they were, you know, and the owner said that, I'm assuming, said that they were following the instructions. So the vet is like, the spay was uneventful.

I don't think we, I don't think we did anything wrong. And I feel like if we pay or help the client pay for it, that we're admitting wrongdoing that I don't believe is actual. And so, the medical director or practice owner is like, okay, and I feel like when they said that there was concerns. I don't think that it means that you did anything wrong.

I don't think it means that we did anything wrong in our aftercare or any of that. And this, this authority figure within the practice is feeling like, Hey, maybe we should help support this client because here's someone who reached out to us. We took care of their pet. What should we have done after the fact?

And so they are really struggling. The client has been wonderful. There hasn't been any, you know, drama on social media, but they were like, I would really like to avoid that. 

And so it resulted in kind of, some, some frustration and conversation with the associate because the associate was like, look, hey, I feel like if you help them pay for the surgery, then you're admitting to them that I did something wrong in the surgery. And I don't want to, I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to see this client. I'm not happy about that because I don't think that I did anything wrong. And so the crux of the email was actually about how do I, as a, as an owner, how do I talk this through with my associate because I need them to understand that sometimes we need to take care of the clients.

And I'm struggling with feeling like they may be a little bit overconfident here. And yes, the ER said that the knots were intact. And yes, it didn't seem like there was any trauma and it was still a surgery that went wrong. And so do we have a responsibility as a clinic to help take care of that client?

And if so, how do I talk to the associate about this? How do I get them to you know, acknowledge the fact that just because we help pay for something or take care of the client doesn't necessarily mean that we're admitting wrong, wrongdoing. That's their, that's their frame of mind as an owner or as someone in charge of the practice.

And they're really struggling with the fact that this associate does not feel the same way and feels really, really. Strongly that they didn't do anything wrong. And so I thought this was a good one. And I was like, Hey, put your Dr. Andy hat on as an, as an associate doctor. And let's kind of talk this one through.

Dr. Andy Roark: So I'm, I'm going to put it on as a business owner and an associate doctor and try to go back and forth.

Dr. Andy Roark: I'm going to say up front, I'm going to say up front, I'm going to struggle with this a little bit because I have strong feelings.

Stephanie Goss: Mhm. Mhm.

Dr. Andy Roark: and you, I'll unpack sort of what they are in a minute.

But I am, I am going to try not to reach for the flaming raging sword of justice. And again, I always say to be careful about justice and like, Anyway, I have strong feelings. But let's let's let's let's again the best thing you can do when you have strong feelings is stop and breathe and and try to understand what they are and set them down and work through this in a I don't know in an organized manner. So that's what I want to do.

All right, cool. So let's start with headspace as we do now for me. The first thing we have to do is figure out What, what the first thing, before we talk to the vet, we have to figure out what we want to say to the vet. Right? Like, we have to kind of work through the issue to be able to articulate our position here.

And so, for me, I talk about headspace, I want to start with headspace facing the client. So this is me imagining looking at the client in the eyes. And I say, you know, not, not how much to deal with them, but what I'm sorry, not what I'm going to say to them, but you know, where's my head need to be? And so there's a, there's a couple of things that I would just put forward.

And some of this is, is I'm trying to parse out what's good business and what is just my personal beliefs about life. And I don't know that I can really do them. So just, just file this away with, I know some of my own beliefs and philosophy are really baked into this. And I'm, I apologize, but it's just, I don't know, I can tease them apart.

I truly believe that at the end of the day, all you've got is your reputation. I just, I believe that. I also truly believe that there is nothing more important in this industry than building and maintaining trust. This is a relationship business, whether you're talking about managing your team or dealing with clients.

And so no, just put, and you can already see where this is going. There's nothing more important than your relationship. Or than your than your reputation, and then there's nothing more important than trust. And again, those two things are tied together tightly because if you build and maintain trust, reputation takes care of itself.

And so if you have to put one over the other, it's trust is the most important thing. And if you serve trust, your reputation will be just fine. So reputation comes from this, this deep seated belief I have about, about trust. And so that's it now. People have heard me, for 10 years at least, say things about online reviews and social media, where I say things like, I have, I have been in the camp of not responding, very often for a long time.

And people have strongly argued with me, and I have not changed my position in 10 years. And like, and I, I, and again, I tend to be someone who listens. And I think of a lot about this. I do not believe that you have to engage with people online. I think that there are, there are things that you could just let go rather than adding fuel to the fire.

I think a lot of times social media and online stuff is a bunch of hand waving and the best thing that you can do, and this is what is key, the best thing you can do is build and maintain. And maintain the trust of the people who actually come to your practice. Take care of the people who actually come to your practice.

And, and everything else will sort of take care of itself. And so, I just wanted to say that up front when people say, is Andy saying that we should bend over backwards for people online? And Andy says reputation matters so, so much. I need to wade into this Facebook group and fight with people who are saying bad things about my practice.

I don't believe that. I think you have to, I think you have to actually walk the talk. The talk and live your values on the ground and that social media garbage will take care of itself and you will bury bad reviews with good reviews from good work that you have done and those things are actually in your control.

And so I just want to say, I know a lot of people have heard me say that they're not contradictory views. In my opinion, it really comes down to what you actually do in the building and how you take care of the people who come in the door. And so when we talk about dealing with clients, it's not about what you did. It's about the experience that the client has. Trust doesn't get built because you did something and then bad things happened. The patterners gauge how good you are, how much they trust you, by the experience that they had when they dealt with you, not by what was your fault and what was outside of your control.

There's also, you know, we talk a lot about Well, I've been thinking a lot recently. I'm starting to write about it more about this idea of internal, external loci of control. And so when we look at people who are content in their life, who are happy, who are satisfied versus people who are struggling with mental health issues and things

like that, one of the key differentiators is where do you see the locus of control in your life?

An internal locus of control means that you have a good amount of control inside your own. Or of power, like your sphere of influence, meaning, you know, I have control of this and external locus of control means that things happen to me and I, I am the victim of those things or I have to, I have to deal with these things that are coming to me now.

We all know that there's things inside this world that you can't control, especially in medicine. However, the more of an internal locus of control you believe you have, the happier and more empowered you are going to feel. And so, when we're talking about the experience a pet owner has, there are a lot of things that are outside of my control.

But I tend to take a very internal locus of control approach. And again, you can look at this. A lot of times you'll hear people talk about taking ownership of as much as you possibly can. And you and I talk about that. And I say, as a leader, I try to take as much ownership as I can. Not because it's the right thing to do.

Not because I truly believe I have no, or I had all the control here. It's because it gives me a sense of empowerment. And it puts me in a position to get the best outcome I can possibly get. We have all dealt with people. Who deal in blame and I think that there's a lot of corporate cultures this way where people don't want to get in trouble I think some of it is just an individual person and how they were raised I think some people they do not they cannot fathom the idea that something was their fault And so they will not take responsibility.

They will push blame to other people. I think that is a really toxic trait It is something I never ever want to have in my company. I have always tried really hard To not ever make it so that my employees would not take ownership of mistakes. And so I try really hard not to punish people, you know, just say, Hey, mistakes happen.

We're all human. We all make mistakes. And I truly lean into that because if you don't lean into that, you will foster that mentality of this wasn't my fault. This was, this was someone else's fault. I did what I was supposed to do. Someone else made a mistake and it go to so unproductive. And it just, you can't fix problems, you can't get things done, it's, it's a horrible way to live.

And so, anyway, there's, there's sort of that internal locus of control supporting the idea that we just take ownership. And things are outside of our control, but we take as much ownership as we can, so that we can move forward. There's, there's There's a big question again, like this is just so fundamental for what we teach at Uncharted, and people who listen to the podcast have heard us talk about this a million times.

What are your, what are your core values? Like, what is your why? Why, why do you, why are you in this business? What do you care about? And then what are your core values? And so one of the core values, and I said this is hard for me not to reach for the flaming, raging sort of justice, is that one of my core values is integrity.

Meaning I, I I want to do what I say I'm going to do. I want to treat people fairly, you know, if I say I'm going to take your money and perform a service, I want that service to get performed. I'm not, I don't want to take your money and then not have that, not have that turn out the way that I said it was going to turn out.

And it's not about me. Is this my fault or something I couldn't control? I told you I would deliver an experience and I took your money. And so for me, that's, that, that hits on my integrity, core value. I know other people might feel differently. And that's why I said, it's hard for me to tease these things apart versus what is my personal philosophy on life, but that's, that's just kind of how I see the world.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. I, I would agree with that and I think looking at who you are as a practice is really important. And I think from a Headspace perspective, what I'm reading between the lines in this is that this is a practice owner who does care about the client and does care about the client experience and they're not looking at it from a place of negativity or blame or like you did something wrong, that's why I want, that's why I would consider paying for this.

They, I think they are looking at it from that Headspace that you're talking about, which is. What are their core values? What is important to them? What is that client experience? And it's, it's funny that you I mean, not funny that integrity is your core value, but, but in that, that I I had an experience as a, as a practice manager where we had this and reading this made me think about this a lot.

So we had a a patient we had a client who called, we hadn't seen them in probably a year. For five years, they had previously been a client of the prior practice owners. So this was a practice that I came in after the practice had been sold The prior practice owners were no longer in the practice. We hadn't seen them since. And they called in there like, Hey our dog is at like, I, I think that our dog is in heat. And I was like, okay. And then in my head, I'm thinking, why am I getting this call as the manager? Like, why did the front, why did the front desk send this to me?

And I'm like, oh, okay. So I opened the chart and I'm taking a look at it. And I'm like, oh, that's why this is a problem because this dog has been spayed. And I'm like okay. And she's like, I don't, I, I don't, I don't know, but like, there's definitely something weird going on. And I'm like, okay. I was like, why don't you, why don't you come in for, for an exam and we'll just take, take a look at it.

And so I went to my doctors and I was like, Hey, I've already said that you know, I've set this client up that, that I don't know what's going on. We might charge them, but also we might not charge them for this exam because this pet was already spayed and I don't, you know, I want, I want us to be able to get to the bottom of it.

So they came in, long story short the pet sure was showing signs of being in heat. And I was just like, Okay, well, so, so I was in that situation of like, what do I do? This was a surgery that, yes, the hospital did, but not even our existing staff participated in. There's very, you know, that I can't tell from the chart.

What may or may not have happened and, and I wanted to do the right thing by the client because here was someone who wasn't screaming and yelling that her dog who was spayed five years ago now is showing signs that it's in heat. She was really calm and she's like, I just want to know what's going on.

And so ultimately I, I wound up sending her to the specialty clinic. Cause I was like, I really want a surgeon to take a look at this pet. And my doctors agreed. They were like, we'll do it. But also what happens if we do it and then we find something weird and it needs to go to the surgeon anyways. And so we talked about it as a group and I said, okay, and so I offered to the client.

I said, I, I will, we will pay for you to, to go and see what happens. And if it is, if it is something relating to the surgery, like, of course we want to take care of that. Because you entrusted your pet's care to us and it doesn't matter that it's been five years. It doesn't matter that. It was not even a member of this team.

You entrusted the, the pet to us. And so for me, that was an integrity thing. And I had one of my doctors who was really struggling with that because she's like, well, why would we pay for something that may or may not be our, our quote unquote fault? And I said, because it's, it's not about. It's not about, it's, it's about doing the right thing by the client.

It's about, this is a small community and this is, yes, and they're like, but they're not even our client anymore. Like they haven't been in, in five years. And I said, yes, and. What about if this could be one of those experiences where the client is thrilled with the care that they get from us now and they become a client, and they share that experience out into the community?

Like, this is an opportunity for us to do the right thing, just because it's the right thing. If it comes back to us, that's great. But if it doesn't, it's still just the right thing to, to do. And so it was, but it was that it was a hard conversation with the team because they were like, well, I don't, I don't understand.

But to your point, Andy, for me on a personal level, I was like, it's about integrity. Like we, we, we spayed this pet. We said, yes, we have taken care of your pet and maybe, maybe we did, and maybe this has nothing to do with the surgery itself, but maybe it does. And so, you know, if it does. That's why we have, you know, liability insurance.

That's why, you know, like that's, that's, it's a cost of doing business and it for, for me in that perspective. And so as a manager, it was just like, Hey, this is the right thing for the, for the client and for the pet. And so I just think I, I agree with you on that, that regard. I think part of it is figuring out. Who you, who you are as a clinic and what your, what your core values are. And I think in this case, it, it speaks to me that this is, and I'm not saying that that doesn't mean that the associate doesn't also have those same core values. I think that from this perspective though, it definitely sounds like the practice owner is coming at it from that, Hey, what's the, what's the thing that feels good here?

And you know, how do I, how do I take care of that client and give them that, that experience?

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. No, I I completely agree with that and again, like I said It's it's hard for me to to tease apart, you know, the core value part from the other part You know, I haven't I've never told this story before but I'll tell it I'll tell him though because it's been about 10 years I I have missed one speaking gig in my career

Stephanie Goss: I didn't know if you wanted to tell this story. That's why I just told the other one because I was like, Ooh, I don't know if he's going to tell this story.

Dr. Andy Roark: I have not, it's the first time I tell the story.

I'll tell it. I, I have missed one speaking gig in my entire career. So 15 plus years and I, I have missed one gig and I was signed up for it and it was a mistake on, on on our team. And so we like the scheduling on our side got bungled and I did not show up for a gig that I was supposed to speak at and I was supposed to do I was supposed to do a presentation, and it was in Canada, and I, I didn't, I didn't get there, and that was, it's happened one time, I've done hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of engagements, and that was one time it happened, and I felt, I was devastated, and so I, I joined virtually, and I, I, I did it, sort of did a little thing virtually, sort of at the end of the day and everything, and, and, and sort of tried to, to do it that way, but it was not what I had said that I would do, and it, it really bothered me, and so I did not, Accept payment for the, for the job, obviously.

And then, I went to Canada. I, I flew myself up there, and I drove to the hospitals that were at that event, and I talked to them at their hospital. It took me three days, and I drove to the hospitals that were there, and I talked to them in their, in their treatment rooms. And again, it, it was, you know, it's just, it

Stephanie Goss: I think, well, I think that's a true Testament of the, of the intake, you living your, your value of integrity. It's that question of like, what, what do you need to sleep soundly at night? Okay. as kind of the litmus test that I use, and I think it's the same for you. It's like, you could have done, you could have just joined virtually and said, I'm really sorry.

Like, yes, we made this mistake and this is what I can do for you. And for you, the right thing felt like, I, I feel this deeply. And 

Dr. Andy Roark: I said I would go 

Stephanie Goss: those clients, 

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I said I would go there and talk to them. And that's what I said. And again, I just, I believe that, you know, I know, again, you and I talk a lot about boundaries and setting boundaries. And so I'm not saying that I am your whipping boy and I will sacrifice myself and my relationship with my family and my staff to meet your every whim.

That's important to note here. If I say I'm going to do it, then I'm going to do it. If I say I'm going to take care of something for you, I am going to do everything in my power to take care of something for you. And so, anyway, that's, that's kind of how I am because of what I said at the beginning. At the end of the day, all you got is your reputation.

You know what I mean? That's all you got. And so, that's kind of it. And I want to jump back real quick to something you said about this is the cost of doing business in vet medicine. When you say, we're going to send this to a specialist, we're going to have them look at it, and I don't know if it's our fault or not.

It was five years ago. But we're going to do it and we're going to make this investment because that's the cost of doing business. And I so strongly believe in that, Stephanie. I think that everybody should just get their head around the idea that there are hidden costs of doing business in veterinary medicine.

There are going to be euthanasias that you do for free. And you should be okay with that. When someone comes in and they're like, I just saw this cat get hit by a car and it's suffering, clearly suffering, and it doesn't have a collar on or whatever, I'm not gonna necessarily, I'm not gonna charge that client for euthanasia because it's not their cat and just, anyway, and you can argue, we can get into details or whatever, but you get the point.

Sometimes, just put the cat to sleep. You know what I mean? Just, it's suffering and we're doing it and we're, it's, it's, it's a cost, it's a cost of Doing what we do for a living, you know, if you have boarding in your practice, you're going to have to deal with diarrhea cases at inconvenient times. That is a cost of doing business this way.

If you have grooming in your practice, you're going to have to see clipper burns and skin infections and ear infections. Like you're going to have to deal them. It is baked into the business that we do. If you're going to take payment plans, you're going to get burned in payment plans. My advice to you is to know, just know that you're going to get burned and be okay with it and see it not as an indictment of humanity and society collapsing morally, but just as part of, be smart, but just as part of, our job in this profession, sometimes there are going to be cases that come in that the staff is going to be morally just crushed if you don't help.

And the fact that the person can't necessarily afford that help, you know what I mean? We've all seen that of like, We tell them we're not about the money and then sometimes you have to put your money where your mouth is and say we said it's not all about the money this is a case where we're going to suck it up and we're going to do some good now that should not be how you live every day and again once I open this door but there is sometimes when you're going to have to just be

Stephanie Goss: Yes Well, 

Dr. Andy Roark: sacrifice because that's what it means to be a moral being with the powers that we have as veterinarians, but it's not as often as people think, but every now and then you have to show your character.

You have to show your character.

Stephanie Goss: Yes, and I think it's, it's interesting because I had this, I had this same conversation in a different way when you did an episode on Cone of Shame, I think, with our friend Tanejia Crocker and uh, you guys were talking about, you know, fees and she's an ER veterinarian and you were talking about fees in the ER and, and discounting or not charging for services and.

Yeah. When she started talking about this she, she's a speaker as well, when she started talking about it, she did a, a lecture on it, I think, at Western. And I got into it with some manager colleagues who were just like, absolutely not. Like, you charge for your services and that's how we, you know, that's how we instill value in what we do for clients.

And for me, it's a yes and, right? It's a yes, yes, we should charge for our services. Yes, we should take care of the business end. And we also have a responsibility to take care of the pets and the clients. And so I think this is a case of the yes and, and for, and for me, when we get to, when we get into action steps here in just a minute.

When you're talking about the conversation with the associate veterinarian, it is very much a yes and conversation because you can, you can, like your, I love your example about the hidden cost of, of business and grooming is, is a great one. Like you can have a great conscientious team that does a wonderful job and takes care of patients.

And at some point. You're going to get clipper burn or like I had I we had a pet where it was the best cat ever you could groom It lion cut no sedation She would just chill and sit there and yet one time she got clipped and she got clipped Like it needed action like she was getting older and had diabetic skin and it got clipped and it needed wound repair, right?

Do we, do we take care of that? Do we just say to the client, you know, we're, we're, we're, this is the coolest client ever. Do we do it because they're a cool client? No, we do it because it's the right thing to do. And because that should be built into our business model to, to your point. And for me as the manager, I don't want to have to be the one who makes all of those decisions either or as the practice owner.

I want to cultivate a culture where the team knows where it's okay. Like there has to be systems and processes is my point where I'm going with this and I really want to talk about it when we get to action steps because I think that it's totally okay to have that be a hidden part of the business and it should, it should be It shouldn't be dependent upon the voice of authority in the practice saying, okay, we're going to discount this thing, or okay, we're not going to pay for this thing.

this thing. The whole team should know if you're, if you truly believe in a culture or you have a culture where integrity matters or compassionate care or kindness, like if you're, if those are part of your core values, this is where you live it out. This is where you show up for the clients and the patients.

And this is how you demonstrate that.

Dr. Andy Roark: I got switching over to the headspace for the associate that because now we gotta talk to associate One of my big things with the associate is I need to try to understand because my flaming raging sword of justice Says when you say to me, that's not my fault That makes me mad like and I don't tend to get very mad But that is that is if you ever want to make me mad really fast When we're trying to fix a problem, just say to me, this is not my fault.

Because I don't give a crap whose fault it is. I just want it fixed. And like the whole, this is not my fault, like that, ooh, that snails on chalkboard to me. I, I, hate that mentality. I

do not want 

Stephanie Goss: that that's where your head goes.

Dr. Andy Roark: I know. I, as I said, that's why I said, like, I know it's a triggering thing for me. But that's, that's not really how I feel.

And that's, that's, when, you know how we tell ourselves 

Stephanie Goss: that that's where, that that's where your head goes is like, oh, this is the, this, they're saying like, I, I am not my fault. Cause when, cause when I read it and I hear that from an associate, my head immediately goes to, oh, they're afraid. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Yes, that's, that's the right answer.

Stephanie Goss: my experience that has been, there is some underlying concern or fear about fault or blame or a board case or whatever, almost every single time that I've dug into that reaction with a team member, there is something that has nothing to do with that actual situation, but it is about, it is about fear.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, well, you're spot on. That's, that's what we have to do, is don't do what I just said, which is jump to a conclusion about why this person is saying what they're saying. The, the conversation with them is, why do you feel this way? What do you, what are your, what are your concerns in us? And say, well, it's not really our fault.

Well, yes, we didn't do anything wrong. Mm hmm. But this pet had intestine hanging out After we sent it home That's not it. That's not acceptable. Do you agree right like that's not an okay outcome Right. I would I would sort of try to try to understand that I think we've got I think we've got a little bit of a warped relationship in some instances with some of the associates today, where there's like, imagine a spectrum, right, in a practice of, on one end of the spectrum is tyranny, where the practice owner, the medical director, rules with an

Stephanie Goss: you do. Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, exactly. Then the other end of the spectrum is anarchy, where no one is in charge, there is, like, everybody does what they want to do, and again, we're always in that spectrum, and there's not a right place, and I think we drift on that spectrum, and that's probably good. It's probably anarchy.

unavoidable that we're going to have a little bit of a pendulum and that's what I've seen in my career is I Lean a little bit too far into everybody just kind of do Everybody I trust you guys to do what you want to do And then things kind of get kind of Muppet showy and then we kind of tighten back down and then maybe we Maybe we go a little bit too hard on building systems and rules and then we have to and then we have to loosen back Up, but I really do think that that's probably what life is And so, you know We've talked about how we feel about the practice and the experience of the client.

To me, as the practice owner, what the associate vet wants in this scenario, I don't want to say it's not important to me because I want the associate to be, I want them to understand But I know what, I know what I'm going to do. And if it's not a discussion, this is not a democracy, I'm going to make this right.

That's what I'm going to do. And I want the associate to feel as good as possible about that. But their buy in is not required for me to do this thing that I believe is Is what needs to happen to be right. And so I don't know that this person is feeling that way, but I just want to say if you're living in the space where we don't do things unless the associates buy into them, especially in a case like this, I think we need to swing the pendulum back the other way a little bit.

And we know Again, if you're the medical director, if you're the practice owner, if you're the practice manager, remember what your job is, and I've told you this a million times, guys. Your job is to achieve, as best you can, its balance of everyone's needs. That's, that's the techs, that's the vets, that's the front desk, that's the practice owner, or that's the practice owner, that is the clients, that is the patients, like, We need to try to balance their needs.

And sometimes, one of those party goes, I don't want to do this, and everybody else needs it. And if everybody else needs it, I'm sorry. I know you don't like this, but this is what we're going to do. And so that's just I think that's a head space for the Associate Is. I want to try to understand, and again, it's not going to change what I do, but why do you feel that way?

What are you worr Have I made you feel like? You're going to be in trouble? Like, I don't want you to feel like you're going to be in trouble. Do I make you feel? If I don't make you feel that way, are you worried the client's going to think that you're incompetent? You know, like, I get it. These things happen, and I'm fine to say, sometimes suture breaks.

Sometimes, you know, sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. You know, like the the pet going into heat after being spayed is a great example. Like, I am not going to look you in the eye and be like, I would never, I would never leave ovarian remnants. Like, it could never happen to me. It could totally happen to me!

There's, there's, and when there's crazy anatomy in pets, and like, there's just, if things happen, if you do enough space at some point, there's gonna be something that happens, and it's like, I think we should all be open about that and just honest and go, you know, I set out to do it, and it's not done, and all I can do is go back in there and fix it and make it right.

That's all, that's the only power I have. But I'm not gonna let this dictate how I feel about myself. You know what I mean? I feel like I'm less than.

Stephanie Goss: Well, and I think that there can be an assumption here, at least in my experience in this particular instance with spay, I think there can be an assumption that it has to be all or nothing. And that was definitely the conversation with. Uh, With my team when it came to talking to the associate doctors and I, the doctor who was just like, well, I don't think that we should pay for that because then we're telling them that we did something wrong.

And I was like, I don't, I don't, I disagree. And to your point, Andy, it was like, this is my responsibility as a manager. I've already made this decision. This is not up for discussion. I just want you guys to understand why we're doing it. And I want there to be a you know, a really clear understanding that.

They may go and I may pay all of their visit. I may pay some of their visit, right? But I'm going to pay something because this is, this is the scenario that that came up because I've done the work from an action step perspective to make sure that the client understands that life happens, right? And, and it may have, it may have had something to do with the surgery, but it may not.

And I think that's where this practice owner is coming from is trying to, wanting to be in a space where. Would it have been different if this client came in and saw us for that follow up? Like when we saw the picture and we said, it looks a little swollen. If we had had the pet come to us, would, would they have had the same expenses?

Maybe. They may, would have, right? And so part of it is like, well, what could, to your point there at the very beginning, what can we, what can we control here? And so I think part of that with the associate is trying to understand. Seeking first to understand and being able to put down that flaming raging sort of justice and, and asking them, like, tell me, tell me what you're really concerned about and why you're concerned about it.

And to your point, Andy, I think you can, as the authority figure, you can tell them, this is what I'm doing and I still want you to feel seen and heard. And so please tell me more, you know, like that's, as a parent, that's what we do all the time. I had that conversation with my kids last night. I love you and get your butt into the bathroom and brush your damn teeth because you're not going to bed without brushing your teeth.

Because that's, that's a, that's a rule and it's there for your oral health and hygiene. And I'm taking care of you for your whole life. I'm thinking about your teeth 30 years from now. I don't care that you want to stay up, get in the bathroom, right?

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah.

Stephanie Goss: It's that same thing. Like I'm being the authority figure.

I'm making the decision and I can still have compassion and I can still make you feel seen and heard.

Dr. Andy Roark: yeah, I completely agree. I think you and I are on the same, same page here is, you know, come from a place of curiosity, come from a place of compassion you can validate, hey sometimes these things happen. I mean, I've had, I've had patients that had suture reactions. And like, they just, and like, now they've got ooze and goo and things like that.

I'm like, I didn't do anything wrong. You're a freaky deaky pet is the one that's having a reaction to the most common suture used in America, you know, but, but, but here we are. And now they, they dropped this thing off for a spay and now she's got pus coming out of her, or, you know, or fluid coming incision and I go.

I, well, I'm going to fix it. You know what I mean? It's just, it's kind, it's kind of what it is. And to me, I put that under the cost of doing business. Because if you bring your patent, then, and I say we're going to do it, then we're going to, we're going to, we're going to try to get it done.

Stephanie Goss: And I think that I want us where I think we're going to take a break and talk and then come back and talk about action steps. And I want us to talk about this here because what I think is really important that everybody here right now is that neither one of us is saying. that it is always about you taking the responsibility and doing the things for free.

Because like your example just now, Andy, like when you have a pet that has the suture reaction, that was my thought here was maybe the pet reacted to the suture and that's why it burst. Like there's weird things that happen all the time. And as a manager, that would absolutely be a scenario where I might not.

Pay for the whole thing

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah,

Stephanie Goss: because I'm going to have a detailed conversation where the client also feels seen and heard and understands that there are things that we cannot control. Like we can control a lot in veterinary medicine. We do not control everything. And part of that is in how we set up those conversations both with the associate and with the client.

So let's take a, let's take a quick break and then let's come back and let's talk about those action steps.

Dr. Andy Roark: Sounds great.

Stephanie Goss: Hey friends. I know that Andy and I both talk a lot on the podcast about upcoming events that Uncharted has because A, we love what we do and we have fun talking about it and B, we want you to be a part of it. So we want to make sure that nobody misses out on announcements that we have awesome stuff coming up and C, because our team is freaking rock stars and they make sure that our website stays up to date with all of the information about the events.

So that you can find us and you can join us and you can spend some time working. On your business and not just in it with us, with the community, with our awesome outside speakers and more so if you haven't headed over to the website recently and checked out the events page, uncharted vet.com.

forward slash events. You should because it is jam packed full of all 2024. We've been talking about some of the awesome things that are dropping this year that are brand new, fresh and exciting for us. We've been talking about the oldies, but goodies, the things that we're continuing to do for our community, for you and beyond in 2024 and.

We're talking about stuff that is yet to come. So head over to unchartedvet. com forward slash events and check out everything that is on the website. We want to see you there. And now back to the podcast. 

Dr. Andy Roark: All right. So let's jump in with some action steps here. Big ones for me. You need, you need to, well, first of all, you need to figure out a loose plan of what you're going to say to the client. I think you're spot on. The, the, the two, the only two options are not, I'm going to pick up the whole tab at the emergency clinic or I'm going to pay for nothing.

I think you have to go talk to the client and see where their head's at. See what the what the emergency doctor said to them. What they saw. Maybe talk to the emergency doctor. Definitely, maybe look at the reports. I would talk to the emergency doctor. Just be like, what did you see? What happened? And then I would say, hey, this is kind of where we are.

You know, this is, this is why this happened. And again, it goes back to credibility. Credibility is telling the patent owner what to do. What happened, why it happened, and what we're going to do to reduce the risk of it happening to other people in the future. And I would, I would try to have a plan for that.

But you are going to have to talk to the pet owner and sort of see where their head's at. You know, it was funny in this, in this letter. The person said, they haven't done anything on social media, but I want to head it off. To me, kind of part of integrity is, it's kind of one of those things where it bothers me, this idea that people who bash us get treated better than people who Who silently put up with the same thing.

But because they're nice and they don't want to damage our small business, they don't go online. And so they don't get the treatment that the person who's like, I'm gonna burn you down gets. And so I'm kind of like, nah. It doesn't, to me, doesn't matter whether they put on social media or not. Does, does it, does it matter?

To feel like the right thing, you know, how do I feel about it? And so, anyway, some of that is just sort of getting an action plan, remembering your credibilities, right? 

Stephanie Goss: Hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark: you know, if, if the pet owner reached out during business hours and said, Hey, I'm seeing this. And we said, Oh no, it's probably fine. I would say I would focus on that as that was our opportunity to get a man and saying, Hey, anytime you're.

Not sure things look okay after surgery, you should come in. I, I think that that was the step that was probably missed and just, That's one of those things where 99 times out of 100, they're gonna come in, You're gonna say, it's fine, you're gonna send them away. But that 1 out of 100 time, that's, that's a, that's a big deal.

Stephanie Goss: And I think that's a, I think that's the conversation with the associate is that it's a judgment call, right? And the reality of judgment calls is that sometimes we get it right and sometimes we get it wrong. Did we get it wrong in this case? I don't, I don't know, because maybe they would have come in and maybe the same thing would have happened.

Maybe they would have still sent it home because maybe it looks it, maybe it actually in person looks like a seroma, right? But we didn't afford ourselves that opportunity and that's what I would focus on as a, as a manager in terms of coaching is Maybe it still would have worked out the same exact way and we, the judgment call, didn't allow us the opportunity to even make that decision for ourselves, right?

And so, like, acknowledging the fact that judgment calls, sometimes they're right and sometimes they're wrong. But it's, it's not about, it's not about blaming. And it's not about accepting fault. It's about apologizing for the impact that this had, right? And so from the, from the associate perspective, that's going to be my area of focus.

One is going to be figuring out what the underlying concerns are, making them feel seen and heard. So what, what is going on here? Like, what are you afraid of? What is your concern? What do you think would, is going to happen if we offer to pay for this? care. And why do you feel like the client is judging your medicine?

Where are those feelings coming from? You know, and, and figuring out how you can make them feel seen and heard, and also do some coaching with them to get them to understand that there are some things that you're going to just decide that they might not like. And that's just a part of being, being in a, in a group practice.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, right. No, I completely, I completely agree. I think you're, I think you're, I think you're spot on. You know, it's, It's very much in that line of, you know, I hear you, You know, this is, this is what we're going to do and, and not getting bogged too far down in it. I really, I don't want to compare our staff or our veterinarians to, to, to children, but I think that there's some parallels in that relationship of, it's, you're the, especially as a practice owner, like, you're, you're the, it's your, it's your reputation, it's your practice, and I want everybody to feel heard, and at some point I'm gonna have to make the call And everybody's going to have to get on board with it.

Now, I don't want them to feel steamrolled, but not everybody's going to like every choice that we make. And the big thing is, is you as a practitioner, you have a lot of power to make this a big deal or not make it a big deal. And you know at some point you just you can just say well I hear you this is what i'm going to do and this is sort of how i'm going to phrase it And so this is or or just say this is what I did This is this is what this is what was done is how we 

Stephanie Goss: Mm hmm. 

Dr. Andy Roark: you know, and and and go forward if you have someone who cannot Go on If their will is not followed in every decision, they're not gonna be on your team for long anyway.

And so that's that's okay. We need to normalize that if we can be nice and ultimately make the decision that needs to happen. But again, you're playing at a higher level. The doctor is looking at their own case. You're looking at All the cases, all the doctors, all the payroll, all the marketing, all the position in the community.

You look at all those things, they're trying to make the best call, and you can say that to them and say, Well, this is, this is a decision that we made. And you know, we emphasize that we didn't think there was anything wrong with the surgery, but a suture, suture failure is a thing. And let's just say, There was suture failure, possibly a reaction to the suture that was used you know, is one of those things.

It's like a side effect in medications. These things happen sometimes. We want to help try to make it, make it right and support you in the bat. Again, this is, it's a, it's an unfortunate situation, but we, we want to try to do what we can to help support you guys.

Stephanie Goss: and we talked a lot about building trust with the client, and I think the other piece of this, for me in the associate conversation, other than getting to the bottom of it, which I think that you have to do, and coming to the place where there is acceptance, and hopefully they feel seen and heard by you just starting to ask those open ended questions of, you know, like, I'm coming from a place of positive inquisition, like I want, I genuinely want to understand like what, what is going on here.

There has to be trust with the associate. And if you have a trusted relationship with them, you should be able to say to them, Hey, Do you trust me to have your back with this client and have this conversation? I am not going to say that you did anything wrong. I believe that you did the right things and it is possible for me to believe that you did everything right, that you're a competent surgeon and to be able to express that to the client and still do the thing that I feel like shows our integrity as a core value or is the right thing by the client.

And if you trust me, I should be able to have that conversation on your behalf. There may not, there may not be trust there. And that may be another conversation that you need to have with them. But we talked about that from the client perspective. I think it's equally, if not more important from the associate perspective, because the associate is feeling feelings clearly from the message that we got about not wanting to see the client and feeling like the client is judging them.

I, I need to understand where all of that is coming from because my first offer would be, do you wanna be in the room when I talk to the client? Because I, I've made that offer to my team. Like, I'm happy to have you sit here and listen to me, talk to the client, because I want you to know that I'm going to have your back.

It is possible for me to explain this sit situation to the client is possible for me to have the conversation with the client that, hey, sometimes things happen, sometimes suture fails. It may have been no mistake and. that have to been still opened. So the reality is the client still has to deal with that.

And so I want them to feel seen and heard. And you're welcome to sit in on that conversation. If it makes you uncomfortable or you don't want to be in the room or on the phone, I need, I need you to trust me. And there should be a trust bank there as a team member to dip into to have that conversation on your behalf.

Dr. Andy Roark: yeah, I think you're, I think you're onto it. I don't know that I would go as far as to offer the person to be there. Again, just for me, I'm kind of like, look, this is, this is an extra. I mean, you're not wrong necessarily. To me, It's just kind of where my boundaries are, like look, you and I were talking about it.

And here's the other thing too. I would not commit to anything talking to the vet. I would say, look, I hear you. This is, this is what I'm looking at. I'm looking at our practice reputation. I am looking at, you know, this idea that they, they paid for surgery. And later that day, they were in the emergency clinic with, with Belle hanging out.

And like, I'm not saying that you did anything wrong. And I would not, and I won't stress that to, we can't act like this was the outcome that we anticipated. And the pet owner should feel fine about it. Like that's, that's, you, you don't, you don't believe that. And so, but we're gonna have to go talk to them.

Just so you know. And then, I would try to get that trust and then I would go talk to the pet owner because here's the thing, you can't promise anything until you see what they say. And so that would just sort of be it. But to me, I think trying to keep the stakes low and just sort of say, I hear you, I understand why this is important to you.

This is kind of where we are with the clinic. This is what we got to do. This is the type of, this is our clinic reputation. This is, this is how I want our pet owners to feel treated. I want them to be confident that things are going to get taken care of. And again, not your fault, but we, we have to clean up the mess because sometimes things go wrong.

That's just. Part of doing business in vet medicine, you know, and, and then I would just go do it. I would do whatever I could to not make it a big high stakes thing and just, just try to have the conversation and move past it. And what I don't want to do is have six meetings about it and, you know, include people in a bunch of conversations.

Like it's, all of that just builds it up as opposed to. Nope, it happened. I understand you didn't do anything wrong. You're concerned about them thinking you're a bad doctor. I'm not gonna let them think you're a bad doctor. I'm gonna do everything I can to frame this in a positive way for us in practice.

It doesn't make our practice look good. If they think that you made mistakes like we're gonna, I'm gonna go to bat for you. But ultimately, I'm going to do what we need to do to make this client as happy as I can and to make sure that we feel like our clients are getting the service and support that that we're going to feel good about.

Good about giving the money that we asked for that from them in exchange And so then I would go do it and then I would just be I would either not say anything after that or i'd come Back and be like, hey, just so you know, this is kind of what we worked out She was cool with it. Everything's fine You know bam and then i'd be done and I would not and like I would move past it and go on with my life

Stephanie Goss: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. I think that, I think that follow up is really important of like, this is what, this is what happened. This was the end result. And this is how we're moving on.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yep, it's short, short and sweet and just it's not a let's have a sit down meeting. It's just a man. That's what the worry 

are 

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, 

Dr. Andy Roark: and And the last thing it says in the communicating with a client. My only thing in the action steps of communicating the client is Start with compassion. How are you doing?

How did did you feel like you were treated well at the emergency clinic?

You know, how is, how is Scrappy doing?

And just start with that and just say, hey, obviously this is not something that we wanted. We've talked to the emergency doctors. You know, they don't know what happened either. All of the knots were intact.

There doesn't seem to be anything that was done wrong surgically. I don't know why we have suture, suture failure. It could have been, it could have been defective product. It could have been it could have been a, a reaction to the suture. And sometimes we can get allergic reactions to suture. There is a foreign.

Object and obviously it's made to produce a smaller reaction as possible But the body does strange things and sometimes we get stronger reactions and it's possible that that it that it that it broke down I I don't know. We want to try to help make this make this right. You know and and and just and go from there and sort of see, you know What can we do to support you and ask them ask them that and and then kind of roll with it from there

Stephanie Goss: and I think this is where, as a, the last thing for me is as a practice owner and as a practice manager, the number one thing that I think a lot of us forget in that moment, cause we're so focused on the vet and the client and who's going to pay and all of those things. Is Sometimes these things happen, and this is where our, our industry partners are our friends.

Like, you should absolutely call the product line and let them know, hey, this may, like, we had this case and we just wanted to report it because when those freaky things happen, A, that's how they know that there could be cost for concern, but maybe there's not, right? But it's not until they see a certain number of those cases that they're like, oh, hey, huh this batch of suture. We've had this many reports on this thing. Maybe we should do something about that. That's where like that, that for me was always the extra step. And, and I was like, you know, let me let someone know about this. And the other piece of it was I never did it with this intention. And it also really was great when those partners would say, Oh, Well, we have a process, fill out this form and we'll help take care of those costs at the ER or we'll help reimburse you for what, you know, what, whatever, we'll send you free suture.

Like that's where, that's part of taking care of the client. That's part of doing our due diligence as scientists on the medicine side is to say, Hey, this weird thing happened and someone else should know about it because maybe it's an anomaly, but maybe it's not.

Dr. Andy Roark: No, I think that's great to talk to the pet parent about, too, and it falls into that credibility thing of, hey, this is not normal, and we're not, we're not treating it as normal. The last thing I would say is just, and this is probably jumping back to Headspace, but I think it's a good place to put it here at the end action stepwise, you should do what is worthy of the reputation you want your practice to have.

That, that's, that's what you should do with the client. And, and what I'm, what I sort of say here is, I think it's, a lot of times people get really wound up about precedent. And if we do this, we'll have to do it again, and blah, none of that, none of that's true. Like that, that's, that's not true. Every case is going to be different. The other thing is I would ask the practice owner here and say, How often do things like this happen to you? Once every five years something like that Just eat it just eat it to me. You know what I mean? It's just it's not worth it If if now if it's happening once a month, we've got bigger problems Than than what we said the client in this specific instance we gotta figure out what's going on But if this is a weird lightning strike thing Yes, it sucks and it sucks to to have to help pick up the tab or even pick up the whole tab But if it happens once every couple of years Your peace of mind is worth something.

The story I just, I told about going to Canada, I would rather that be the story that gets told. And if anyone ever comes back and says, I heard it one time, Andy Roark didn't show up for one of his speaking gigs. I would say, it happened one time. And this is what I did to try to make it right. Because that's how much it bothered me.

And, was that overkill? Maybe, probably. Would I, do I expect other people to behave the same way? No. I,

Stephanie Goss: But it's what made you be able to sleep at night.

Dr. Andy Roark: But I, yeah, I sleep very soundly. And, and again, it's, but if, if it was, if I was missing gigs all over the place, uh, I would, I would have, I'd have, I'd have bigger problems. So anyway, but that was, again, a long time ago.

But that's, but that's what I needed to feel okay. And I do feel okay. I was like, yep, it happened. I did my absolute best to make it right. And then I went on with my life.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. Whew. This is a fiery one.

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh man. Thanks for doing this with me.

Stephanie Goss: Have a, this is, thank you. This is, this is fun. Have a fantastic week, everybody.

Dr. Andy Roark: Thanks, everybody. 

Stephanie Goss: Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message.

You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com forward slash mailbag, or you can. Email us at podcast at unchartedvet.com. Take care everybody and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Vet Tech

Jul 17 2024

Transitioning From Peer to Leader

A veterinary professional who recently stepped into the role of tech team lead is facing the challenge of earning their team's trust while aligning with the practice owner's vision. In this episode of the Uncharted Veterinary Podcast, practice management super nerd, Stephanie Goss is joined by guests Tyler Grogan and Kelsey Beth Carpenter. Join them as they dive into a mailbag letter from a loyal listener who is struggling to transition from being a peer to a leader, especially when they support the direction set by the practice owner. Together, Stephanie, Tyler and Kelsey discuss strategies for balancing team dynamics, maintaining trust, and clear communication. They share insights on establishing expectations, open communication lines, and the importance of setting personal and professional standards to thrive in a new leadership role. Let's get into this episode…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · 296 – Transitioning From Peer to Leader

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

🌟 Step Up Your Leadership Game at the Uncharted Team Leads Summit!

Mark your calendars for the Uncharted Team Leads Summit on September 18th! Dive into a day of dynamic workshops and insightful sessions tailored for veterinary team leads. This year’s summit features a standout lineup, including Dr. Andy Roark’s session on influential leadership techniques and Sarah Parsons’ workshop on injecting positivity and morale into the veterinary workplace. Learn the art of effective conflict mediation with Maria Pirita and transition from rule enforcer to empowering coach with Kelsey Beth Carpenter and Tyler Grogan. Don’t miss this opportunity to enhance your leadership skills, tackle common challenges, and lead your team to new heights. Join us to transform the way you lead and inspire!

🌟 Elevate your team's leadership capabilities!

The Leadership Essentials Certificate provides 8 hours of targeted CE designed to empower veterinary leaders like you. This course equips your leadership team with the skills needed to run a high-functioning, united team. As part of the Uncharted membership, now is the perfect time to enhance your leadership prowess and propel your practice forward. If you're not a member, now's the time to join the community and get this Leadership Essentials Certificate included! Visit https://unchartedvet.com/uvc-membership/ to register and make a significant impact in your professional realm.

Upcoming events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/

All Links: linktr.ee/UnchartedVet

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to discuss on the podcast? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! Submit it here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag

Upcoming events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week on the podcast I am joined by my partners in crime on the Uncharted team, the very fabulous and amazing singing vet tech Kelsey Beth Carpenter and the amazingly wonderful ophthalmology gross eyeball nerd,my friend and our aesthetic queen at Uncharted, Tyler Grogan. 

Both of them are here with me to answer a mailbag question from a technician who has promoted up from within the team after working themselves through the ranks, earning their LVT, and they are really struggling with feeling like they are standing at the intersection of a team that they know, love, and care about.

And a boss that is asking them to do things that they believe in and not knowing how to do both of those things and make everybody happy. This one was fun. Let's get into it.

Announcer: And now the Uncharted Podcast!

Stephanie Goss:And we are back. It's me, Stephanie Goss, and I am not here with our friend Dr. Andy Roark this week. Instead, I am joined by two of my favorite people in veterinary medicine and two of the most fabulous coworkers on the planet. I am joined by my friends, Tyler Grogan and my friend, Kelsey Beth Carpenter. Welcome to the show, you guys! 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Thank you, Ms. Goss. Except for I do have a question. You did mention Tyler Grogan first. Does that mean she's number one co worker? Is that indicative of your feelings about us? Please expand.

Tyler Grogan: That's how I've interpreted it. Definitely how I've interpreted this. So, thank you so much for having me, Stephanie. I’m so excited to be here.

Stephanie Goss: Tyler. Listen, Kelsey. Tyler has one employee of the month, More times than you. So she gets to go first.

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: More times than zero. 

Tyler Grogan: I think we can all agree. 

Stephanie Goss: No one except for Tyler, Andy and Steph D have ever won it. So. 

Tyler Grogan: Stephanie's win was definitely probably the most real because she actually saved your life at the April conference.

Stephanie Goss: She did save my life. So she did deserve it. I don't, I feel like you deserved it at the time. I feel like Andy never deserves it. So let's be fair that there are two actual employee of the months. But no, that's the order you guys are in on my screen. It's like me, Tyler, Kelsey. So no order Kelsey, otherwise I would put you first cause I would have done it alphabetically.

But welcome, welcome to the podcast, you two. For those of you who are not familiar with the work and stylings of the fabulous Kelsey Beth, Kelsey Beth Carpenter. Kelsey, what is your actual, I think of you as the singing vet tech cause when I say Kelsey most people are like, Oh, the singing vet tech.

But like, what's your actual social media handle these days?

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: It is Kelsey Beth Carpenter, not because I care so much about my middle name, but more like if you search Kelsey Carpenter online, you end up getting like a lot of generic white girls and it's hard to tell us apart. So the Beth really helps. But yeah, I like singing, singing vet tech a lot more than like, I, a couple of times I've been referred to as The Dog Ate Weed Girl, and that title…

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: doesn't, doesn't have as much of a ring to it, so. 

Stephanie Goss: So, for those of you who don't know Kelsey, she is a technician. You were in California, so you are an RVT, correct, exactly, yep.

Okay, so you are a technician and you worked in vet med for how many years as a technician? 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: About ten years. I mean, part of that I was an assistant and then three or four years in got my license. I mostly worked in emergency medicine and a bit of critical care stuff. I also was a lead technician for numerous years. And then I also joined the Dr. Andy Roark and Uncharted teams and got into managing social media and content creation.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. So Kelsey does the social media and content on our Dr. Andy side. And then Tyler Grogan is also a technician, LVT, RVT? 

Tyler Grogan: CVT. I was a CVT and RVT for a minute, but just CVT now.

Stephanie Goss: CVT RVT, all the T's. Tyler Grogan is also a technician. And your experience is on the opposite side of Kelsey's because you did some general practice, but also some specialty med in the eyeball realm, which is extremely disgusting.

Tyler Grogan: You know, more eyes for me. That's all I have to say, but yeah, the eyeballs. 

Stephanie Goss: You can have all the eyeballs.

That's great. That's perfect. They're amazing. And for all of you fellow opt owners out there, I see you for sure. So, you're not alone. And I punned on accident, but we're going to say it was intended. But yes, I was in general practice. Mostly I also did some relief work that put me into some emergency practices, but primarily general practice and a few or a year or so in ophthalmology, which was a really fun time.

Stephanie Goss: And Tyler does our social media and marketing. I think of Tyler, I think of Kelsey as the queen of musical and fun things on our team. And I think of Tyler as the queen of everything beautiful because Tyler Tyler is in charge of our style and our aesthetic. If you will, if you need a mood board, Tyler's your girl.

Like that's, she is a master and she's also a master at putting together events because her new role in the company has moved her over to being in charge of all of our live events and fun. As Tyler mentioned, we just had our April conference and a few months ago, and that was a lot of fun.

And that was Tyler's big first jump into the deep end and we've got some stuff coming up at the end of the year. We're about to hit the road and Tyler's going to go on the road with me and Andy and Maria. And we're going to be in, we're going to be in Minneapolis in June talking about conflict, which I'm really excited about.

But the reason you two are here today is because has nothing to do with any of those things. It has to do with one of our virtual events that is coming up. We are doing our Team Lead Summit in September and you two are doing a workshop. And I had this mailbag. question that immediately made me think of you guys for two reasons.

It came from a technician and I really love the perspective and the voice that both of you bring to the Uncharted Community and to the team from, from the technician and the team perspective. But also when I read the mailbag to you guys, Kelsey, you said relatable.

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: I could have written this mailbag. I feel like back in the day. Yeah.

Stephanie Goss: Right, exactly. So, I thought of you guys and it kind of ties to some of what you're talking about for the team lead summit in the fall.

And so I thought, hey, let's hop on and do a podcast. So, we're going to go through like, like we always will, but you two are in the driver's seat today. So we're going to. We're gonna have some fun. I'm sure there'll be some shenanigans at some point. Okay. So, we got a mailbag and because Andy's not here, I'm actually gonna read the parts because it was written to me.

And I'm gonna, I'm gonna read the parts about how much they love me in the podcast. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Perfect. 

Stephanie Goss: Just so he can have a surprise when he listens to this episode so it said, Hey, I, Stephanie, I hope you're doing great as a loyal listener of the podcast. I've been soaking up all the fantastic insights on leadership in the veterinary world.

I'm reaching out because I recently stepped into a new role as the tech team lead after five years on the job. And this is someone who has, been in the practice and actually earned their license while they were working at the same practice. So they've been in the same place for a while. They know their team really well.

And they said, you know, I'm having a lot of fun, but I'm really kind of struggling getting the team on board with some of the direction that the practice owner wants to go in because I'm also trying to earn their trust. Cause now I'm no longer a member of the team. I kind of have to be the boss and the leader on the floor every day.

And I'm struggling with that intersection. It sounds like they're struggling with that intersection of loving their peers and having had a longstanding relationship with their peers and being in a new role where they want to succeed. And in this case they were like, you know, I actually really agree with the direction we're trying to go in and I really support it.

And I'm struggling with how to express that to my teammates without it coming across as I'm just going to do whatever the practice owner tells me to do, right? And so, you, we, when I was telling you guys about it, you were like, okay, yeah, I think all three of us felt like we could have, we could very easily put ourselves in this writer's shoes.

So they said, Hey, any help would you have any tips? Or strategies for making this transition smoother would be great. They said, P. S. your expertise and discussions on the podcast have been incredibly helpful. So I, you know, I appreciate that feedback. So we're going to keep up the amazing work with the podcast by getting you two to dive in as we do.

Do you guys want to start with Headspace? 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Totally. Actually, can I put a plug in here? 

Stephanie Goss: Yes. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Okay, this is a genuine plug. I mean, I am a biased speaker, but I keep telling people about the Uncharted Academy Leadership Essentials Certificate because we all did it as a team, recently completed it, and it was, I kept saying throughout every single module, if I had had this course when I became a lead tech, my experience as a lead tech would have been a thousand times different and so much more positive because it covers so much of what you need.

And I feel like this is often a place that many of us, especially as technicians in a middle management kind of role, get into where we've worked so hard. We've worked our way up. We finally get this, you know, great new position. We're so excited. We're so excited. We're so passionate. But we've not been handed any of the training or tools to actually now be effective in this position.

And so just a genuine plug, I've, I've already told two of my friends who are tech leaders about this course. It's what I wish I had when I became a lead tech. So just had to put it, I had to mention it. 

Stephanie Goss: I love that. I love that. And also, I love it because it was really fun going through it as a team. And I think even though we're not looking at it from the practice perspective, the insights and the just the conversation about how you approach things as a leader was a lot of fun. I feel like we learned a lot about each other and kind of how we look at the business and what we're doing and how we serve our clients who are people who are in practice, you know, and struggling with, you know, with things in practice every, every day.

So I love that. And I want to pick out something Kelsey, that you said there about being the technician, which is, I think it's really hard to struggle with being put into a role where for a lot of us, we, and this was, I say us, because this was the case for me. I was put into the role of being a manager because I was really good as a CSR and there are skills that are transferable there. Right? Like the speak, the customer service, the people skills, it was like, Hey, you're an excellent CSR. Why don't you be in charge of the front desk? And it was like, just jump in and, swim. and there was no actual like leadership training or development plan. It was just kind of like, Hey, you're really great at this job.

So why don't you do this job instead? And so I think for a lot of us, we, we found ourselves in that place that you, you said, Kelsey, which is like, Okay, I'm really kind of excited because I want to grow and I want to develop, but how the hell do I do that? Like what does that look?

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Right, and, and like you said, a lot of us get into a position, a leadership position because we're so good at doing the job we were already doing. We're really good doers. But And a lot of the trap that many of us, or at least myself, fall into when we then go into a leadership position is let me just keep doing all the things but Tyler and I are actually doing a workshop at the Team Lead Summit on sort of how you can shift away from that a little, a little bit and actually start to kind of coach your team to do the things themselves.

But I'll stop taking over the microphone. I know Tyler had some really good points about how, sort of like when you're first starting out, you've just gotten this position. Congratulations, by the way, incredible work. You have to be an amazing person to get a role like this. But then sort of like what's, there's a little bit of self reflection that has to happen, I think.

Tyler Grogan: Yeah, absolutely. So, You know, it's interesting. Most of my career was spent within a team rather than leading a team. It was much later as a technician that I would take a training type of role on but I think from the beginning, stepping into this type of role, there's a couple things that, from a Headspace perspective, you have to realize.

Like, number one, like Kelsey said, you're amazing. This means you're doing a great job. And what do you want out of this? You know, like, you can step into this role and kind of let you're going to have expectations that need to be met by your leaders, by your managers, you know, what they hope to get out of having you in this new role, you know, whether it's, you know, Helping to train up the rest of the team to be able to do the job in the way that you're doing it, whether it's to make sure that things are getting done in a certain way or implement changes that they'd like to make happen in the practice.

You know, they're going to have their goals and expectations for you for this role, but also what do you want to get out of this role? Like what, how do you want to step into this and, and how do you want to approach it? And I think that from a Headspace perspective. The first time I was put into a position where I actually had some type of title that gave me, you know, like, okay, I'm going to go in here and they're expecting things out of me.

The team now is expecting certain things out of me and how I, how I show up really matters here. You kind of forget that while you're doing the job, you're, you're leading from within to, you know, you've got, you've got already buy in. You've got people that support you and people that are your teammates.

And that actually is an even better way to be set up for success being put into a leadership role because you've got people that want to see you succeed. And so, you know, you've got the expectations from your manager. You've got the things that you'd like to get out of your role, but you also have a team that if you've worked there for five years, getting your licensure and, you know, moving up and, and learning from, and with them, they have, there you have people around you that want to see you do a great job.

And so stepping into that with that kind of mindset, you know, I think that that really can make a big difference in. Okay, I have a lot of trust built up with these people already in a lot of ways, and this is a different, these are different asks I'm going to be putting positions that I'm going to be asking things of them in different ways, but you've already been doing a lot of what you're going to be doing.

Just with a title behind it, and maybe just not actually doing all the time, but giving people the opportunity to learn from you how that you've maybe approached this in the past that has gotten you to where you are today. So you have a lot of opportunity here to do a lot of fun things, and I think that it's easy to get kind of caught up in, are they gonna listen to me?

Do they care what I have to say? Are they gonna have a hard time when I'm the one that asks them to do something that they don't necessarily want to do or maybe buy into an idea that they don't believe in? But there's also so much opportunity here to have fun and to grow and to learn. So stepping in and thinking about those things from the beginning, you know, what do you want out of this?

Because you can do a lot. You can do more than just kind of step in and enforce the rules. So I think that that's a really important place to start.

Stephanie Goss: Okay, I love that you said that because there's so much to unpack there and the piece that I want to start with is your idea about assuming a positive headspace around being from within the team, because I think, I think all three of us immediately looked at this and went, okay, this, we resonate with this because it is hard.

There are challenges that come with being from within the team and being homegrown and having the people having everybody know you. And I didn't think about it until you said that. And it's so powerful that it actually is a positive. thing. Like you have the five years of working together with the team built up in your trust bank with them.

You know, you've been friends, you've gotten each other coffee. You've been there to hold the dog that is just absolutely losing its mind and shaking its bloody hematoma ear all over the treatment room. And everybody's covered in blood and anal glands. Like you've been there for those moments. And that matters.

And it's really easy to, especially when you're scared and you're nervous because you want to do a good job. And to your point, Tyler, you want to grow and develop yourself. It's really easy when you're scared, I think, to get into that headspace of focusing on The challenges more so than the positives.

And so I love your point about if we flip this around and if we look at it from the positive perspective, we have five years of teamwork to draw on from the perspective of asking the team to help you continue to grow and develop. It doesn't have to be the it doesn't have to be the opposite side of that, which is.

Great. Now I'm their boss. There are going to be those moments because that's part of, I think for me, that's the piece of Headspace that, that I was going to share was like, There are going to be moments where you have to tell someone something they don't want to hear, where you have to deliver bad news, where you have to tell someone no.

And those things are big and scary and, and you will get through them. Everyone gets through them and they will be big and scary and they will make your palms sweat. The reality is like you get through them and thinking about it from the perspective of, Hey, I. Care about you guys and I want to grow and develop and I want to grow and develop you and that is something positive that I can use that trust bank matters because I've been on the flip side of that where.

I have the experience and I, shortly after I had become a manager, it was in my clinic that I first promoted at my very first clinic. And then I had only been a manager for maybe a year and I moved to a new clinic. I got married and I moved to like towns and moved to a new and I stepped into the role still relatively new to Being a manager, but now not only did I have to figure it out as a new manager, but I had to figure it out as a new manager with a new team that I didn't have any trust built up with.

And let me tell you, on the flip side of that, it is a much steeper mountain to climb to be like, hi, I'm new at this job. And also I now have to build up some trust with these people that I've just met and have no reason to trust me when I say, let me help you hold this. You know, flailing dog in the treatment room.

We haven't been in those positions together. And so they have no reason to, to believe me when I say I can do this by myself, or I can help you with that. Like, let's try it a different way. You have to build up that everyday trust. Even just in those technical positions, let alone in the positions of asking them to go out on a limb and do something that they might not want to do, or that they might, there might be resistance to, so I, I love that. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: It is a very unique challenge instead of you needing to earn trust because you've already earned the trust from not only your team, but also your manager. They've trusted you enough to put you in this position. You've got the unique challenge of maintaining trust. And I think that's something I failed with when I was a lead technician, is that I jumped right in.

I wanted to get everything done. And in the beginning, people trusted me because we had worked hand in hand for a very long time. But at some point I had asked so much of my team with so little communication around it that I started burning away that trust. And, and that's what can happen, I think, as long as you remain open and transparent and you keep those open lines of communication not only with your boss but also with your team.

I think that's a huge part of maintaining the trust you've already built. 

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. I love that. I think one of the pieces. And I think one of the things that relates to Kelsey that you kind of, pointed out is that there, that is that you, you are going to learn and grow and you are going to burn some trust, like you're going to make mistakes and you're going to screw some things up.

And so you have to have that trust built up to be able to make the mistakes and have it, have it happen. And how you deal with that and how you come back to the team and how you own up to that. If it's just like, well, I'm better than you or I'm per, I'm, you know, it doesn't matter that I screwed up because I have more experience or whatever.

If you, I, I've worked with people who have that kind of their noses, you know, up in the air, they're better than, they're better than, than you. Like, I think at some point we've all worked with one of those people and, and it's really, really frustrating because it's like, what? What makes you exempt from having to do this?

You know, it's like the leader or the manager who will give everybody else and this, this is a, we've gotten mailbags about, this is a really common scenario where you have somebody who has, and it happens a lot with new leaders and it's a, I think it's a growth and a personal emotional intelligence thing, but where you have someone who is like, oh, well I'm the, the, leader.

I'm the, I'm in a position of power. So I'm going to take all the quote unquote, fun jobs, especially as a technician. Like I'm going to be in surgery, or I'm going to, you know, put the catheter in, you guys are going to go clean up room three, or you're going to go scrub out the kennels of the dog that just had diarrhea.

Like every, look, poop happens in the clinic, right? 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: That's the PG version. 

Tyler Grogan: Poop and all kinds of other things.

Stephanie Goss: Poop happens. Listen, I told Andy I would stop trying to swear a little bit on the podcast, or at least so we didn't have to put the swearing disclaimer all the time. But poops, poops happens and that sucks. Like I've been on, I've been on both sides of that.

I've been on the side of the person who's getting asked to do this stuff and not getting the growth because what that turns into is it might in the moment be like a, I feel like I have more experience to do this thing. So I'm going to ask you to do this thing instead. And it's totally innocent. There's no thought behind it when it continues to happen, what happens is that the person who's being asked to do all those other things, they're in the position where they are no longer getting growth opportunities. They're no longer being able to stretch. They're no longer able to try new things.

And that's a really crappy position to be in. And I've also been on the flip side where it's like, Oh, I don't have to do that thing anymore and I'm going to be really honest and vulnerable and say like there were moments where I was not a nice person to my team because I was like, Oh, I'm the boss.

I don't have to do that crap anymore. Like you're going to go. You're going to go and do that. Right? And, and I think I didn't do it a lot, but I would be lying if I didn't say that there were moments where not like super intentionally, but just where it was like, Oh, I don't have to say yes to doing that anymore.

I can take the sweet thing and everybody else can just do, do the other thing. So I think that that's both recognizing that both sides of that happen. And I think you have to be open to knowing that you're going to learn and grow. And part of that learning and growing is that it will never be perfect and you will screw it up and you will make mistakes.

And so from a Headspace perspective, I think it's really, really important to. Get okay with that on a personal level and like acknowledge the fact that to become a really good leader It takes the ability to say to your team. Hey, I was a dick earlier today Like I didn't you know Like I've been thinking about it and I shouldn't I should have been right there in that kennel cleaning up the diarrhea with you If that wasn't cool, and I'm sorry And I, you know, in the future, like I will absolutely help with if you really need help, like getting in there and being willing to do anything that you're asking your teammates to do is a really important part of being a leader.

But I think that from that headspace perspective, recognizing that you're going to make mistakes and you're going to screw it up and how well your team receives those mistakes and how well they let you keep some trust in Trust Bank, even when you make a mistake. That is measured by how willing you are to be vulnerable and acknowledge and be honest with them and say, “Hey, I, I screwed that, that one up” 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Preach, sister. 

I think that is a it kind of goes hand in hand with sort of, expectations, like that's something I wish I had done better of when I first became a lead technician is understanding what was expected of me, both from the perspective of my manager or leader and my team and as Tyler touched on, what I wanted, what I expected from the position because I think that goes a long way in the trust and communication as well is that.

If I am asking you guys to clean these exam rooms and get these next patients in, why am I not doing it with you this time? And if my team If I've been transparent with them and I've been able to express to them. Here's what my manager is expecting of me. What do you expect of me? And here's what I expect of the position. Then they will have an easier time of understanding what I can't always be in there cleaning up the poop that happens if they can understand what I'm doing and I think that was another mistake I made, was not being transparent enough about what was expected from my position.

So for example, if I'm sitting at the computer and I ask Tyler, Hey, can you go help restrain that dog for that blood draw? That's kind of not a fun ask because why am I not getting up to do it? You know, it makes it, it creates this sort of otherness of, well, I'm a lead now, so I need you to do it. Whereas if I say, Tyler, I'm trying to work on the schedule, it's expected to be done by Friday.

Would you mind helping with that blood draw so I can stay here at the computer? That's a very different ask, right? Because now Tyler understands why is it important for her energy to be expended in that way so that I can expend my energy in another way that's still serving the team. It's not a self serving thing.

And so that's something I wish I had, I had done better in my position as a lead tech is communicating, the whys behind things, but also just like establishing in the beginning what were the expectations from all the different perspectives, you know?

Stephanie Goss: hmm. Mm hmm. Tyler, you looked like you were going to say something. 

Tyler Grogan: I was just going to say, just something that you were touching on there, Kelsey, is about just the open lines of communication. You know, it's easy to one mistake that I, or something that I, a development point that I had in practice as a technician, as I was learning, and even just coming into a team, having a license where you haven't worked before can set some types of expectations of what are you able to do?

And what is your level of experience? I tended to not communicate very much at all. I would kind of isolate and just try to get the work done and not really explain very well, you know, like, okay, this is, you know, I'm doing this because I feel like this is where I'm best utilized here, or just opening up lines of communication can be the hardest part of, I think, working within a team at all, but then taking a role where.

Those expectations can, and the perspectives of what you're doing can come off in very different ways if you're not very good at communicating what you're doing. Kelsey's example was fantastic. The reason I'm sitting at the computer is because I'm doing something that we all need to have happen.

And I'm expected as this role to have this done on a certain timeline. So it would be helpful for me if you could help with this piece, because that's where I think like, because I need to get this done. So opening up those lines of communications and just being really honest, I think can make such a big impact.

And it can be kind of scary. But when you're moving into something like our listener wrote about where you're asking for people to buy into a vision of your practice leader that you're kind of being given to implement and move forward with. Understanding the whys of those things happening and being able to explain them clearly can be such a tool to get the buy in from the team, but also to explain, you know, give them the opportunity to come to you and say, this is why I don't think this is working, or this is why.

I don't think I want to go forward with this or for, or whatever. So starting with the small things and having the perspective of the things you do have a reason. I'm not just being asked to do cleaning the rooms because you're sitting at the computer and don't want to. Or I'm not being asked to start talking about this new medication because, of a reason I don't understand, there's a reason.

And so, you know, opening up those lines of communications from the beginning, I think is just really, really important. And Kelsey's description of how to do that was, you know, it can come off so different just depending on how you frame it. So I think that that was a great 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Well, and keeping them open to like continuing to revisit those lines of communication. I think that was another thing that I misunderstood going into a leadership role was that I felt I needed to fix all the problems when in reality, I think as a leader, you're less of a boss and more of a facilitator.

So I think it's very appropriate to come to a team meeting and say, I'm really having a hard time getting the schedule done on time. And I know how important this schedule is to our team because we need to be staffed, you know, at all times, 24 seven around the clock. Do you guys have any ideas of ways that I can still be helpful to you on the floor but still have time to get the schedule done?

And when it becomes a collaborative process like that, I think that also helps with buy in as well. If Tyler comes and says like, you know, I'm supposed to be working on this leadership course, to improve myself as a leader can you guys help me figure out how I can do that without you feeling abandoned on the floor?

I'm going to feel a lot more motivated to say, oh, I think that's awesome that you're doing that and you're going to help us in turn. I'll take something off your plate. What can I do? You know, it becomes a more collaborative process rather than a top down process.

Stephanie Goss: Well, it leans back into that coworker dynamic, you know, versus the, I'm going to pull the string or the lever, the lever of power. There's something Tyler that you said that I want to end our headspace on because Kelsey already pulled out one of the great action steps.

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Sorry. 

Stephanie Goss: important to start with.

You're good. You're good. So we're going to, I want to wrap this up and then we'll take a quick, take a quick break and come back and dive into action steps. But Tyler, you were talking about the lines of communication. You talked really, really nicely and put it really nicely about keeping it open with the team.

And I think it's equally important to have really good, to develop really good lines of communication with your boss. Because as a, as a middle leader, you are by very definition in the middle. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. 

Stephanie Goss: And so if you can't, if you can't ask your boss for help, if you can't figure out how to communicate With them, the needs of the team, the wants of the teams, the why of what is happening on the floor day to day, because the reality is they put someone in that position because they can't be everywhere all at once.

And so any middle level leader, by default, is kind of there because they are the practice leader by proxy, really, right? Like, sometimes you're asked to be the eyes and ears, sometimes you're asked to be the spy, sometimes you're asked to be a part of the team, sometimes you're asked to be, you know, the boss, it varies from position to position and day to day, but the reality is you are working you know, across the ladder, you're working with your boss and you're also working with the team.

And so I think the ability to communicate needs and the asks and the desires of the team and ask your boss for help and advocate for the team as you do it, is a really really important skill and I've worked with a lot of leaders who have come to me as the manager or practice administrator or practice owner and have said this is what the team is mad about and just dumped it like a monkey and let it loose in my office.

Like, here you go, figure out what to do with this monkey that's now on your bookshelf flinging poop.

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: That created a great visual in my head.

Stephanie Goss: Great. That's what I was going for. But like, seriously, it's, it gets dumped in your lap. And as a leader, that. is the fastest way for me to doubt my judgment of placing you in the position because I believed in you and I believed in the ability for you to problem solve, even though for a lot of us, we got promoted, not because we had these skills or we had been taught these specific skills, but because we were really, really good at another job.

And this is where those gaps come in. And Kelsey, I'm glad that you, you know, mentioned the leadership essentials, because I do think that we have to do work. And for a lot of us, it happens on our own, unfortunately, but it's a really easy ask to say, Hey, boss lady, I know of this. RACE approved CE course where I could get some, you know, education, could I do this, right?

There's lots of resources out there to develop these skills, but it is very important to be able to have the conversation with your boss and not let the monkey. loose in their office. Instead, to your point, Kelsey, in terms of giving examples, when you go to your boss and you're like, Hey, I've had some one on ones with the team.

And I have checked in with everybody about how they're feeling. And there are some concerns that I feel like are really valid. And I would like to talk about those concerns with you and kind of go through the team's ideas, some of the ideas I had, and then maybe get your help with some ideas you might have for how we can overcome this problem.

That feels radically different than I talked to the team. They're all irritated about this problem. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Here's the monkey. Here's the poop. 

Stephanie Goss: Here’s the monkey.

Tyler Grogan: Good luck with the poo.

Stephanie Goss: It's always, always the poo. I mean, there's three technicians involved in this. Like, what can I say? So, so being able to like ask, ask for help of your boss in a, in a, on behalf of the team, but also on behalf of yourself to be able to recognize and acknowledge like, maybe I don't have the skill set.

Maybe you're being asked to do something you don't feel prepared for. You don't feel confident in and you have to speak up because you will never be able to swim in that deep end if you don't put your hand out of the water and say, Hey, help. Hi, help me before you go down. Right? Like that is really, really important.

And being able to being able to do that as a necessary skill. Let's take a quick break and then let's come back and talk about action steps. Does that work? 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Sounds great.

Tyler Grogan: Sounds Good. 

Stephanie Goss: All right, so let's dive into action steps. We talked about the headspace perspective.

We talked about being able to have some self reflection, being able to have open lines of communication both with the team and with your boss. We talked about being open to the idea that you're learning and growing and you will screw it up. Many other things. 

So let's, let's talk about the action steps for this leader because stepping into that place where you're trying to earn your team's trust and you know, support the vision that your boss has, like that's a, that's a hard, hard place to be cause it involves some balance. And I want to start Kelsey with something that you already called out and you were talking about knowing the expectations for yourself from your boss, the expectations from your team and the expectations for yourself. And I think all of those things are great.

And besides asking, what does your handbook say? My other favorite thing to ask is, what does your job description say? So, I think if you're this person and you don't actually have a, like the job description is where you should start because the point of a job description is to help set expectations in writing.

And so I think starting there and saying, Okay, do you, do you have a job description? If the answer is no, that's a really easy place to start because it's easy to say, Hey, I just want to know that I am, you know, I just want to understand what's expected of me. Can we sit down and put together some kind of a job description so I know what you want me to do, how you might want me to accomplish it so that I can be really aware of what your needs are?

And also so that I can help communicate with the team and help them understand what you're asking of me, because I am going to have to shift. I'm no longer going to be their side by side technician all day long. If you are also asking me to do things like you know, the team schedule, like you said, Kelsey, or the doctor schedule or inventory or whatever the other duties are that a lead is doing that the rest of the team is not.

You cannot do those things and also work 40 hours a week on the floor. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Even though we all think we can going into it.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. 

Tyler Grogan: We can do all of the things, especially technicians. We, we have eight arms, right? 

Stephanie Goss: No, no, no, no, no. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: No, I, something you just said, Stephanie, also made me think about you know, well, first of all, just how incredibly common it is to be put in one of these positions and not have a job description. So yes, I think, I think that is a fantastic point. Start there. Also the other thing I think is interesting is that you don't have to go about this job the way you've seen it done.

I think that was another trap that I fell into is that there were other lead technicians in my hospital and they were doing things a certain way and I sort of fell in step with that. But I think, you know, going back to your headspace, what you want from the job, what the expectations are, You can go about a different way.

Tyler and I are gonna be doing a whole workshop on how to become a coach instead of a ref. I've seen a lot of reffing. You get, you get told you need to control the cell phone use, you need to make sure people are clocking in on time. You need make sure people are taking their lunches. And you very quickly fall into a, a referee position of don't do that, do that.

Whereas you can actually approach it in more of a coach position. How do I coach my team or be coached along with my team to make this happen collaboratively? So that was something I wish I would have seen a different perspective on myself is just I don't need to do this job the exact same way someone else has already done it.

Stephanie Goss: I love that.

Tyler Grogan: Yeah. That definitely goes back to kind of what we said earlier about just the expectations in general and knowing what your boss's expectations are, what your expectations are, and what your team's expectations are can help set you up to succeed so that, you know, what everyone needs out of where you are.

You can develop if you don't have a job description, you have the opportunity to step back and say, how do I want to approach this? And then have that conversation with the team and have that conversation with your boss and say, this is how I would like to approach this role. These are the reasons why can I try it and let's see how it goes?

 And then that way you have, again, kind of opened up those lines of communication to say, this is how I see me taking this on and also meeting the expectations that you guys need from me as well. So, yeah, I think that that's a really good point. And yeah, The roughing versus coaching is a definitely a good example of kind of stepping into a leadership position with, you know, one side of what you need to accomplish in mind versus looking at it from a perspective.

How can I feel fulfilled in this? Where are my opportunities here to you? So, shifting that perspective can definitely help. Yeah, going back to the expectations and just really being clear from the beginning. That's a really, I think, a really good action step. And if you don't have a job description, you've got some opportunity to develop how you want to approach this.

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: We we were chatting a little bit before this, and I know Tyler and I have talked a lot about this topic as well, and one of my favorite things that Dr. Andy Roark actually covered in the Leadership Essentials course was the five fold why, which is essentially continuing, it's essentially being like a, a three year old and just asking why continuously until you get..

Stephanie Goss: Right? 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: to the ultimate answer, and that's something I think I'd be very I think it's really useful early on, especially in aligning those expectations and figuring out what it is that people want and how you're going to make it happen so that everyone's happy or as happy as can be.

And for me, I think it used to feel like, you know, Gosh, you know, my boss is asking this of me, whereas my teammates are asking this of me and they're completely different things and I can't stretch myself far enough to accomplish all of them. So what am I going to do? And so then I just dropped the monkey in Stephanie Goss office, you know?

But now with this, this sort of five fold why perspective, I think if I was going back and I was in a team lead position, I would say, how do I ask why to my boss? And I think ultimately, in pretty much any hospital, any place, any team we all have essentially the same goals, which is going to be taking the best care of patients that we can, making sure we have happy fulfilled, educated clients, making sure that our doctors are supported as they need to be making sure we're getting out of work on time, we're taking our lunches, that we're getting paid, all of these things.

I think we all have essentially the same goals, we're just coming at it from different places. So while the boss may be asking me to say make sure the team isn't using their cell phones on the floor and my team is saying, Well, the doctors get to use our cell phones. How come we can't use our cell phones?

I think ultimately, really the goal there is, we don't want to be distracting ourselves with cell phone use or appearing unprofessional in front of clients. That's something that everyone can get on board with, for sure. 

But when it's just, we don't want you using your cell phones on the floor, that's very different, right? And so if you continue..

Stephanie Goss: yeah, you feel pleads

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: yeah, if you can continue to ask why until you get to that sort of base level, why don't you want our team using cell phones on the floor? Why, why, why, until you get to. Well, I don't want clients to see it and think that we're not paying attention to their pets. Now I come back to my team and they're saying, well, we want to use our cell phones.

Well, what do we think that looks like to the clients when they walk by and they've been waiting an hour, but they see that we're on our cell phones or, you know, that's something that people can really relate to. And now we're achieving the ultimate goal. So I really love that idea of just continuing to ask why until you find that middle mark that we can all agree on.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, I love that. Tyler, what do you think if you, if you had to give your number one action step for someone standing in this leader's shoes at this intersection between wanting to be, you know, a part of the team that you've been a part of for five years and also stepping into the leadership role.

What would be your number one action step?

Tyler Grogan: It comes down to remembering the fact that you know your team really well. I think it comes down to sometimes you're going to be asking and sometimes you still should be alongside doing things with them. And You know, let them take the lead sometimes just because you're the lead now and that's your title like remember that you have teammates that are super strong at cat handling and they are going to be really excited when they get to handle that fractious cat that comes in and they just need some help, you know. Remembering to step back sometimes too so that they still feel like you respect them as well because I think you're still it's easy to forget that you're still a part of the team and you know, they have their strengths, and you have yours, and you've been put in this role that they're going to want to see you succeed in, and you're going to be asking them things, and you're going to be trying new things, and they're going to be trusting you along the way, and also showing that you trust them, too, and continuing to let them shine, and give them opportunities.

I think that that's important. And it just continues to foster that trust that already exists. Especially for the person writing into the mailbag that, you know, you're working with your team still. This is, these are your people. They know you, you know them. So continuing to find that balance between, you know, stepping up and stepping back I think is really important and knowing that it's okay to not know it all.

And it's okay to have moments where you feel like you're making mistakes because they're going to ultimately want to see you do a great job. And if they know that you want the same for them, then, you know, you're only going to find fulfillment in being able to move forward, I think, in your team with this way.

So, that I think is, is the biggest action step, just, you know, knowing that you're still part of the team and letting, you know, them have their moments to shine and learn and grow with you too. It's going to make a big difference and your leaders, your leaders will see that as well. So,

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: I don't want to be on podcasts with Tyler Grogan anymore because everything she says is so poetically perfect. It's very difficult to follow. So can you please invite us separately next time?

Tyler Grogan: Listen Kelsey, I was sitting here thinking the same exact thing about you. So, just, you know, I was like, Kelsey has all these fantastic examples and Stephanie has all these great examples. What? But thank you, that's very nice of you to say.

Stephanie Goss: I was going to say now Tyler's bright red. Okay. Kelsey Beth Carpenter. Now you're now it's your turn to shine because you always do. If you, if you were going to be in that position, you've said multiple times in this podcast, like if you could go back and be that you know, younger Kelsey, I mean, you're young, let's be real.

You're still a baby, but if you could be baby, baby Kelsey and step back into those shoes and say, Hey, I'm a new leader. Like what is the, from an action set perspective, what is the thing that you would do that you feel like would have changed that for you? 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: A combination between what we've talked about with expectations. I never did that. I did not have a job description. I was just supposed to sort of jump in with that and I also, I made a lot of assumptions about what the team would want because I had been part of the team without considering the fact that they could be having very different perspectives than me.

And I think that might be one of the biggest things I would do differently is talking to the team more about their ideas and what they want. They want and need and hope for instead of just assuming I know because I've worked alongside them for so many years and I know them really well. 

Stephanie Goss: What does that, what does that look like? Like, how do you, how do you think that from, from an action set perspective. How you think that plays out? Do you talk to them? Like as a group, do you go out for drinks? Do you like sit down with them one on one behind a desk? Like what does that look like? Yeah. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: I mean, I’ve never met a basket of chips and salsa I didn't like. So, that would facilitate some great conversation. But I think realistically, these are things we don't have a ton of time for, right? These kind of conversations have to happen very efficiently and effectively. I, I think in the very beginning, a team meeting, Would be fantastic just the ability to all be in the room together and be experiencing the same thing But I think individual check ins when you have time when you've just finished an ultrasound and you're cleaning up the room together Hey you know, how are things going for you?

What do you think is our number one thing that you wish we could work on in our department right now? Little check-ins like that. I think are like super valuable and those are the things we do have time for in our day It's a way bigger to commit to like huge meetings, but you can still get really valuable information out of those little one on ones.

Stephanie Goss: I love that. I love that. And I, I think that is I always tried to put myself in the position of helping them do the things that I knew I wasn't good at, because then I could listen more. Like, it wasn't like I was trying to control the situation as a teacher. as a tech. And so for me, I've talked about it on the podcast.

I, I hate, hate, hate, hate. Sorry, Tasha McNerney. I hate anesthesia with all of my heart. And I was a terrible surgery technician because I had anxiety through the roof. And so I would always say, Hey, why don't I just be the second, like, why don't I be the second assistant and I'll clean the room?

I'll do that. I'll do the grunt work around surgery that nobody else wants to do. And also it gave me a lot of opportunity to talk to the team because I wasn't, I wasn't in that position where I'm focusing solely on the patient's care. And when you get a patient that is stable and you, obviously you're not talking if things are not going well, but you know, it gave me the opportunity to have that flex time, Kelsey, like you were talking about cleaning up, getting ready to put another patient under anesthesia, where I could say, Hey, how's it going?

Like, you know what? I love your question of what's the thing you think that we could work on right now? Because I think that that opens the door to “Don't give me a laundry list.” Don't release the monkeys in my office. Like what's one thing that we could do right now that would make a difference for you? I love that question. I think, that circles me too. For me, my action step would be recognizing that leadership requires compromise always. And so I think being willing to compromise In all three directions, recognizing that you are going to have to compromise with the team. Like there are going to be times where you cannot make them happy and you cannot be all things to all people.

And so sometimes that means doing things that they want to do that you do not want to do. And sometimes it means telling them we're going to do things that they don't want to do. And it also means being willing to compromise with your boss. And sometimes it means going along with things that you don't agree with.

And part of being a leader is being willing to step up in front of the team and have a united face. And I don't just mean in the team meeting and then you're crap talking the boss's decision as soon as the meeting is over and they're out of the room. I mean, you are standing up and saying, this is what we have decided to do.

And I'm totally on board with it. And here's how we're going to attempt it. Right? Sometimes it means compromising and doing those things that you don't want to do. And sometimes it means asking your boss for the compromise and saying, hey, this really matters. Like I really think that this is going to impact the team and maybe not in such a great way.

And I really, I really just want to make sure that you hear me. And then I think the third piece of that has been willing to compromise with yourself and to Tyler, to your point, recognizing that you're going to learn and grow and stretch and develop in so many different ways. And that you have to be willing to accept that growth good and bad, painful and happy, you know, happy. And you also have to be willing to accept that you're not always going to be perfect in this role. You're going to screw it up. You're going to make mistakes. And also you're not always going to get to do the things that you want to do anymore. 

In fact, I would argue, you probably are going to get to do more of the things that maybe you don't necessarily want to do because there's a level of trust and empowerment and belief in you being able to do the job. And so I think you know, recognizing that your position now means you're going to have to compromise more than ever to be successful. And I think that if you can get into a headspace where you recognize that and be able to put that into action and really be willing to step up and say to the team, hey, you know, I got you.

Like, I don't necessarily agree with this, but if you all feel really strongly about it, I will absolutely bring it to the leadership team meeting and our, you know, and, and present the argument on your behalf. Cause I, you know, I want you guys to be happy and I want to support you. So I think that that compromise is probably mine.

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: I think. 

Stephanie Goss: All, all around.

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: I'm just going to say one somewhat divisive thing, and I want both of your opinions on it too, but I got some kind of intense advice when I first became a lead tech of people telling me, you can't be friends with these people anymore. You might have been friends with them before, but now that you're a lead, you cannot be friends with them.

People telling me that I should keep certain things to myself that I shouldn't be completely transparent about some things that that that my peers would judge me or they wouldn't respect me as a leader if I did that And at the time I had not really had a good example that I had seen of someone being a leader and still maintaining that camaraderie that friendship that positive mentality like I hadn't really seen it done. Now at this point in my life.

I say screw it to that advice. I actually think it's very possible to still have that same positive friendly relationship with your team even in a leadership position. I think it is a lot more difficult and complicated, but I think with all the things we've talked about with establishing expectations, being a bit vulnerable, and a grower, and a learner all these things kind of add up to make it, I, I think it's possible. I, I'm really curious what you both think about that. 

Stephanie Goss: Kelsey, that's like a whole other podcast episode. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: Okay, whoops, sorry. Just trying to get myself invited back. 

Tyler Grogan: That's exactly what I saw there. She was like, I'm coming back for around two to answer as quickly as possible. I, it, it kind of goes off of what I think where maybe you're, I don't know, I could be wrong, but Kelsey, I think I know where you were going in your head and what Stephanie was saying and how you got to this question.

I think it's a lot easier to assume good intent to quote Stephanie and Andy from this podcast to assume good intent of people that you have those personal, more personal type of relationships with, you know, and I don't think that you can just throw, personally, I don't think that you can throw away, you know, years of friendship with people as your coworkers and stop just because you've taken on a title, and I think that, that actually says a lot more, to try to throw that away than not to. 

I think boundaries are, you know, boundaries between your coworkers and in your personal life are going to be yours and personal and, you know, wherever you choose to take them and those may shift, but I think it's easier to assume good intent of people that, you know, they're not going to change and become this other person because they took on a new title.

So to me, I think it's possible. And I think it's probably kind of important not to try to make a complete shift, but Stephanie goth might have a completely different opinion.

Stephanie Goss: I think no, I mean, yes and no. I agree with Kelsey's assessment. I think that the person who gave you that advice was very misguided because I really believe that a leader always cares. A True leader always cares about their people. And if you care about someone, there is always a relationship to some degree.

There's always context for that caring and a leader learns how to use boundaries. And so Tyler, you hit it for me right there, which is that. For some people, those boundaries are going to look different. Some people are going to have to put up the boundaries that say, I can care about my team. I can show them warmth.

I can show them kindness. I can show them empathy. I can show them friendliness. That doesn't mean that I have to have, that mean, that doesn't mean that I cannot have a very wall of China boundary between my personal life and my team. That's, that's, that's perfectly okay. You can still do all of those things.

That is caring, that is not friendship, and there's a very, there's a very big, difference there. And so I think that is a really, I can totally understand the headspace that that person came from, because I think I went down that rabbit hole of feeling like I couldn't be friends with people. And I, I, agree with you now and where I'm at in my journey, Kelsey, I absolutely believe that you can be friends with your team.

And even really good, like, you know, intimate friends with your team, not intimate, like in relationships, then you need a section in your handbook. That's a whole other podcast, but like intimate in terms of friends with your team and you can, you have to have, there has to be boundaries and there has to be clear expectations and good communication.

And in fact, I think we have a podcast episode about that. We'll, we'll drop it in the show notes actually, because we had, that mailbag sounds really familiar. 

Kelsey Beth Carpenter: I'm just I'm just trying to put even more plugs in here. I'm just like coming out with plugs out of thin air. Here we go,

Stephanie Goss: Oh, Andy's going to 100 percent make Kelsey employee of the month after this episode, is all I have to say.

Tyler Grogan: It's time. It's definitely coming.

Stephanie Goss: It is time. It is time. This has been wonderful. Thank you both so much for being here with me today for talking through this mailbag question. I think this is a lot of fun. We will drop if you were a team lead and you're listening to this and you're like, Hey, I would love to come to class.

Tyler and Kelsey's workshop, or I would love to see any of the other stuff that is happening at the Team Lead Summit. We'll put the link in the show notes so you can find it. You also can go to unchartedvet.com forward slash events. And the info for Team Lead Summit is up there along with all of our other events.

Like Kelsey said, we have got the Leadership Essentials course, which you can do asynchronously through our friends at Vetfolio. You can do it online. You also could be in Uncharted Member and our community members are getting to do a modified live version of this in the fall where we are going to go through all of the workshop and then we're going to do like Kelsey said, like our team did. We're going to go through activities. We're going to go through stuff on zoom and have weekly, weekly, follow ups. 

Tyler Grogan: It’s so good.

Stephanie Goss: If you believe Kelsey and Tyler's plugs, which I did not ask for let me be clear. If you believe they're plugs, you can join the community and join us in that in the fall. Or if you are a leader and you were like, Hey, I just really love this podcast and I would love to grow my skills.

The soft skills that you guys all talked about today, come join us. Me and Tyler, Maria and Andy, I'll be in Minneapolis in June. We're going to be doing an event in conjunction with our friends at Hive. So they've got some team leads, vet techs, practice managers, they're the student event team. it's just for you and we're doing an event in conjunction with them. We're going to be giving a sneak peek to our next certificate that is coming in the end of 2024, the beginning of 2025, and it is all about conflict management. And that is the number one thing when It comes to skills that we get asked for  so if you're into any of this, head over to the website and check it out and try to bet. com forward slash events. Otherwise have a great rest of your week, everyone. Take care. Nanny and I'll see you back next week. 

Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message.

You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can. Email us at podcast at uncharted vet. com. Take care everybody and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Vet Tech

Jul 10 2024

Help! I Have A Micromanaging Manager

This medical director is struggling with a micromanager who is now overstepping on the medicine side of the practice. Dr. Andy Roark and practice management super nerd, Stephanie Goss take on this mailbag to help a team member deal with a manager that makes jokes about being the boss and making the decisions. The rest of the team finds it more threatening than funny and now, some of those micromanaging tendencies are starting to slip into the medical protocols. Let's get into this episode…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 295 – Help! I Have A Micromanaging Manager

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to discuss on the podcast? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! Submit it here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag

Upcoming events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey, everyone. I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted podcast. And this week on the podcast, Andy and I are taking an email from the mailbag from someone who is struggling with feeling like their partner, we think, at the practice. In this case, it is an animal shelter, but this is really a situation that is applicable to all practices.

So Andy and I widened the lens and talked about what do you do when you're really struggling with a micromanaging manager? This is not this person's manager, but the manager within the practice, and they are really doing some hardcore micromanaging that has this partner in crime, who's the medical director, feeling like you.

They are in a toxic environment and they are wondering, can I fix this or do I need to get out? I think my favorite part of this episode is the conversation about how we try to put ourselves in other people's shoes.

And really, how do we get into that safe headspace where we're assuming good intent when we're really frustrated and or really angry at the situation? This was a fun one. Let's get into it.

Dr. Andy Roark: And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie, all over you, all over me, Goss. Stephanie, our love is like water.

I think that's what he says. Our love is like water. I don't think, I don't know what that means. 

Stephanie Goss:  It's just rushing on by.

Dr. Andy Roark: It just, it just runs through your hands and into the earth. Yes. 

Stephanie Goss:  There's no permit, there's no permanence to our love Andy Roark.

Dr. Andy Roark: Exactly right, yeah. It lasts about 10 minutes in a hot car and then it's just done. Like, when the temperature goes up, our love evaporates. And there's none, no left. That’s it. 

Stephanie Goss:  That is it. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Our love can keep a plant alive for one day and that’s as much love as we have. That’s one day. And that's as much love as we have. One day, we could keep a plant alive.

Stephanie Goss:  That’s pretty appropriate, how's it going? How's your day going?

Dr. Andy Roark: It's a good day. It's a good day. I got this. Sometimes good things just come out of the blue. Sometimes, you know, like somebody just shows up out of nowhere and its like, Hey, I'm gonna say something nice to you.

And that was me today. The people at instinct and instinct is a practice management software.

I will say the fine, folks at instinct. They put out a blog post on like the 24 Veterinary Podcasts That We're Listening To and it had all the big players on it. It had VetGirl and it had Dr. Dave Nichol and Blunt Dissection. And it had The Vet Viewfinder and like all of just all of the big, all of the big players.

And you're not going to believe who they put at number one. That's right.

Stephanie Goss:  Stop it.

Dr. Andy Roark: Big numero uno. It's you and me.

It's you and me. They gave, I know that it's just a blog of like the 24 that we're listening to today, but there's a list, on the internet, and we're at the top of it, and that means something, Stephanie Goss.

Stephanie Goss:  It means that we've had a wonderful day. That's what that means. 

Dr. Andy Roark: It does, it means in the one episode they listened to. 

Stephanie Goss:  I was gonna say it.

Dr. Andy Roark: We were on point. I remember when we started, I, we started from the bottom, now we're here, and by here, I mean, in your closet where you record.

Stephanie Goss:  We started with just, we just started with Patti. My mom was our one listener.

Dr. Andy Roark: I was going to say that's exactly where I was going in the beginning. It was you and me and one listener and it was Patty, your mom. And that's where we started. And now we're number one on the 24 veterinary Podcasts We're Listening to Today from Instinct.

Stephanie Goss:  Oh, that's too funny. Maybe Caleb was listening in preparation to come on the podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark: I don't know who, I don't know who's our friend, but clearly there was some nepotism.

Stephanie Goss:  All right. So we, we heart instinct today. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Exactly right. Fine. 

Stephanie Goss:  I love those. I love those guys there. I, you know, I think, I feel like it's been, quite a while, but in the very beginning, you and I, Talk to Caleb and you know, he's just got a brilliant mind and it was, it felt kind of out in left field at first when they were like, Hey, we're a practice management software and now we're doing all of these other things. But knowing Caleb and knowing how smart those guys are like, this is, it's been fun to watch them grow and evolve. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, yeah. But, well, hold on now. I just wanna say, Caleb is brilliant. And he's like the CEO, I think he's the CEO, right? He's not the one writing the 24 podcasts we're listening to blog, Goss. Like, just stop trying to like, take my joy and be like, yeah, your friend Caleb wrote it. It's like, I really don't think that this came from Caleb specifically.

I think that the fine, fine, FINE, people at Instinct listen to a lot of podcasts and they just went with their heart.

Stephanie Goss:  I will, let you, I will let you keep on thinking that. I will let you keep on thinking that.

Dr. Andy Roark: You're like that you're that person who can't take a compliment. You're like, yeah, sure. It was just our friends. 

Stephanie Goss:  You and I have been together, you and I have been together for seven and a half years now. It's this week. It was kind of the anniversary because this week was the anniversary of our very first Uncharted conference. And which is a big anniversary for me and you, like, I can't believe it's been that, that long.

And you know me very well. Have I ever been able to take a compliment? I'd certainly nowhere close to the way that you are able to take compliments.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, exactly. I was going to say, it's like we balance each other. Cause you're like, yeah, it was probably our friend Caleb. And I'm like, “WE. ARE. THE. BEST! I bet their whole company gets together and listens to our podcast. I know that there's no formal trophy, but I might just make one and put Uncharted Veterinary Podcast on it.

I'm putting it on my resume, which no one looks at or asks me for, but I have one somewhere and I'm gonna put it on there, and you're like, oh it doesn't matter. 

Stephanie Goss:  Oh God. 

Dr. Andy Roark: I could see us doing our Oscar speech where I'm like, I'd like to thank our director, and you're like, I think she did most of the work actually.

I'd like to thank the studio. They also could have used other people, but, you know, they, it probably was hard to hire in this economy. 

Stephanie Goss:  We're, it's fine. We're off the rails already and

Dr. Andy Roark: You need to hold the trophy, Goss. 

Stephanie Goss:  I'm, I am holding your make believe trophy that you just created. I am holding it. I am holding it high. You know, it's speaking of trophies, you and I were talking before we started this episode about how you know, when you play baseball, sometimes you win a trophy because you just smack the ball out of the park. And sometimes you get the same pitch that's hittable and you swing and miss, and maybe today's going to be a home run.

Dr. Andy Roark: Wow. That, look at that transition. That's why we're number one in the list. It's because we make transitions like that and now we're back on course.

Stephanie Goss:  Today's maybe going to be a home run this mailbag we got was great. So, we, because I think it's going to be, I think it's going to be a sassy episode with you and I. So, we got a we got an email from someone who said their opening was wonderful. It was “Help! I have a micromanaging manager.”

And you know, I'm sure that most people can't relate to that at all. I mean, nobody's ever been in that position where you've a micromanaging boss.

Dr. Andy Roark: That’s not a problem at Uncharted, I’ll tell you that. It's one of our many perks we have. We have the opposite problem where Andy is distracted by a shiny object and everyone else gets to have a day to themselves but we do not have the micromanaging problem.

Stephanie Goss:  Anyway, so it's somebody who is, who works in shelter medicine which shout out to us, we just were recording an episode yesterday, actually talking about shelter medicine in a completely different concept. And I've been thinking a lot about it since we did that episode and how much I appreciate you, you just brought something up about shelters, giving what they've got so that they continue to be able to be there for pets.

And I don't know, there's just something about that episode that stuck with me. And I've been thinking about shelters and I thought, Oh, look at this. it's another person who's working at a shelter. And I just got nothing but love. But they are the they're kind of the medicine side, the doctor side of the equation.

And they have someone who has come in as the operations director and they started as the adoptions coordinator and kind of have grown into this position. And so they're in a structure where they have two separate swim lanes. There's the medicine side of it, and then there's the operation side of it. And at the heart of this is a medical director who's struggling because they feel like the operations director is a micromanager. There's lots of watching over people's shoulders and telling them how to do their job. Little comments about, you know, I'm the boss or I'm in charge so I get to make the decision. And I really loved what they said, because they said it comes across like this person is on a power trip and I am making an attempt to assume good intent. And so I actually maybe see some of it as insecurity. However, the way that they're phrasing things, I think that they think maybe it's going to come across as funny, but it actually is coming across as quite threatening to the team because this person is in a position of power. And so they are struggling because they're not their direct boss. But there's starting to be some stepping on of toes when it comes to medicine. And so that's why this medical director is struggling because they're like, this is a person who's clearly on the business side of things, doesn't have the medical background, and they're starting to get involved in those medical decisions.

And so I feel really micromanaged. And they were like, please help me see this from potentially a different perspective because all I can see right now is red. And I'm finding this to be an incredibly toxic situation.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, boy there's a lot to unpack here so this is happening in a shelter. I don't think I'm gonna talk a lot about the shelter component of it today. I don't think I mean we could touch on a little bit, but basically this transcends shelter into general practice, and I think we can speak in, I think we can speak in broad terms, so if you're like, I'm not in a shelter, I would say, don't get hung up on that.

I think the way that we're going to look at this is pretty broadly applicable. So, yeah. Alright, let's do some headspace. You want to? You want to? Alright, here we go. All aboard. We're doing some headspace. I think that this person writing already put their finger right on the path to success, but I, it's really hard to pull it off.

Number one is this. Okay, so we're looking at this. Let me frame this up. Let me step back here for a second.

Stephanie Goss:  Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark: The medicine versus operations conflict is the defining conflict of 2024 in practices. True or false?

Stephanie Goss:  True.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, it's, I think 

Stephanie Goss:  A thousand percent. True.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, 

Stephanie Goss:  I feel like most of the mailbags have to do with that.

Dr. Andy Roark: It's blowing up.

It's really blowing up. And again, like I'm, here for it. Like I, this, I, this is a, it's a challenging issue, but I like it. It's very much in our wheelhouse. It is very much an interpersonal issue. 

But as we see corporatization in vet medicine growing and growing it, this is sort of a corporate structure: you have operations and then you have medicine, and the interface between those two things is innately it can innately be challenging, right? There, there's very high chances of friction there. And so we see a lot of that. So first, let me just go ahead and put that on the table and just say, this is why I said I think it goes beyond shelter.

The operations medicine friction is ubiquitous in our profession right now. And it's, new ish in that this is a lot of practices are transitioning to a corporate model. And so we're seeing a lot of this in the last couple of years. So anyway, that's number one. Number two is, I would say, I think this person laid down the key to the success, the path.

But the path is hard to walk sometimes. But to me, the first part of headspace is, you have to try to see the other person. Because, I tell you, you can immediately kiss this goodbye if you get mad, and you dehumanize the other person, you tell yourself stories about the other person being on a power trip, and wanting to be in control, and those are really easy stories to tell yourself, because you're feeling micromanaged, you're feeling this person is, like they are trying to take control of the office, and those are very easy stories to tell you, but once you start into that path of this person is the villain.

This just, it's so much harder to get out of that. Everything is a lot easier. if you can try to look at the person and see them in an empathetic way. Dr. Dave Nichols says he tries to see people as they were in the fifth grade. And so like they're 11 years old. And I do think that in these cases, if you can picture this person as an 11 year old bossing people around and joking about firing people, you can see the insecurity.

You see the person who's, you know, they're sort of, maybe they're power tripping, maybe they're just really terrified that people are not going to respect them. You know, maybe they feel like they're in over their head and they don't want anybody to know. There's a lot of empathetic stories we can tell ourselves, but first we have to get intentional and do that.

Stephanie Goss:  Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, it's funny because they hit right where we normally start, you know, from the headspace perspective in terms of, can I have a SAFE conversation about this? Right. And they started with the, I'm trying to assume good intent. So they're covering that there.

And I think one of the questions. So it's interesting that you talked about, you know, the transition and the corporatization of practices. And I think that is true. And the other thing I think is true is that this is a net, this structure where there's an operation side of things and there is a medicine side of things, I think is the, next evolution naturally anyways. Because it was like our practices grew from the one doctor and maybe one support staff to multiple doctors. And at first it was, we had the CSR team, which was set apart from everybody else because their focus was on the clients and a little bit on the business side, but it was felt very different from the medicine. And I remember when I first started in vet med, a lot of the challenge and frustration and communication challenges came from the front versus the back, right? 

Because that was the first growth. That was the first growth path. And I think this is the next evolution of that, that front versus back has shifted as practices have gotten bigger and bigger.

And to your point, more practice, especially the bigger practices, Whether they're a private big practice or their corporate big practice, I don't think that really matters. I think the bigger you are, the more systems and processes you have to have in place to run things. And so I think that has led us to this place where there is a group that is trying to run the business side of things.

And there's a group that's trying to run the medicine side of things. And so I, I love how this writer is starting with assuming good intent. And to your point, it's really easy to make up stories in our head about the other person, particularly if we're not looking at them. From that plate, like Dave says, from Gary, am I looking at them like the little kid?

Am I looking at them from a place of empathy? I think one of the questions that I asked myself is what else could this mean? And this person was like, I think some of it is insecurity, which I think is a good step. And when I bring all of these things together in my head, I try and ask myself, what are they trying to say in their language?

Because one of the things that I think is true a lot of the times for me has been that the operation side of things and the medicine side of things. are truly trying to do the same thing. They're just going about it in two very different ways, or they're speaking two different languages, but they're saying the same thing.

And I don't know if you've ever been in an experience, Andy, as you're working on your Duolingo and learning another, language, but where you're standing there and you're trying to talk to someone in a different language than the language that they're using with you, you can be saying the same thing.

And it's still, you just have this confused, confuzzled look on your face. Because you don't, because you don't understand. And so one of the questions from a assuming good intent perspective that I would ask myself is, What could they be trying to accomplish? What could they be trying to do? What language are they speaking?

And what are they trying to say in that language that they're speaking? Because I find that for myself, in terms of the pre-work, it lets me kind of meander through those thoughts of, could there be insecurities? Could they be trying to, could they be getting instructions from somebody else that I'm not aware of? You know, like all of those other stories. Yes, I'm hallucinating that they are on a power trip and that they are being toxic and that they just don't know how to get out of their own way. Could I also hallucinate that other things could be happening here?

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I think I want to tee up on a couple things you said so I completely agree I do think this is about bigger if your practice is big enough to have operations and medicine and have them not be the same person or people you're big enough to have this problem I think I still, I say that we're seeing the prevalence of this.

I still believe we are seeing increased prevalence in this because of corporatization because that is a standard corporate structure. I don't think we're getting a bunch of smaller practices that are independent that are getting bigger and that's what's making this a common problem but I think your point is well taken in that.

It could be any practice. Do you have a separation of operations in medicine? There's always going to be a little bit of that friction there. I think, I really like your front versus back analogy here. Because if you think about the underlying issues that drive the fronts not getting along with the back, they're very similar in my mind.

Which is basically we have mixed motives, meaning you have two groups that have slightly different motives and the information that each group has about the other group is fairly limited. Meaning, the people in the front get at the front desk don't know what's going on in the back. And their priority is not getting yelled at and getting people out of the waiting room.

Which is different than the people at the back whose idea is, they don't want to get overwhelmed. They don't care as much about people being in the waiting room. So that's, the motives are different but I think that translates over to the medicine people saying, this is the standard of care.

This is what the customer service talking to the client looks like. And the operations people saying, we're looking at the dashboard and our cost of goods sold is up higher than it should be. Our wait time is up higher than it should be, you know, whatever. They're just mixed motives. And it doesn't mean just like the front versus the back.

It doesn't mean that one is bad. Or one is good. It just means that they're both looking at very different challenges, and they have different motivators, and they don't entirely understand each other. And so I think that, I think that's a good way of sort of shaking that down. I want to step back, you know, back to the seeing the person, empathizing with the person.

You know, when, as I read this and sort of see the behaviors that are here, this has insecurity written all over it to me. This is somebody who's desperately trying to convince themselves and others that they should fill this job. And a lot of times, we tell people, fake it till you make it. And they're like, well I'm gonna fake it.

You need to get over there and do that thing. You need to make sure that this number is where it needs to be. And they're faking it. And it comes from a place of fear, not out of a place of being a, you know, a villainy. And so, there's that. The other thing is, and I thought about this before, this was actually a lesson I learned pretty fast as a business owner.

Cause I like to joke, as you might have heard. I do like to tell jokes, I do like to laugh. I have a hundred percent hurt people's feelings in my life from teasing too much. Like, that is a thing. It's, I don't, I hope I don't do it a lot, but there have been a hundred percent been times when I have had people that I care about and I will pick on them and tease them and I will pick on, I have made Stephanie Goss cry before maybe once, maybe.

Stephanie Goss:  Maybe more than once. It’s fine.

Dr. Andy Roark: Maybe once in a while, maybe more than once. And I will say something that I think is funny and I will hurt feelings. And I always feel terrible when I, you know what I mean? I go, Oh, I'm so like, I didn't, I was just, you know what I mean? I was just teasing. And again, I, that is a, but that's the thing that I have tried to learn about myself.

And it's been something I feel like I have toned down, hopefully as I've gotten older, I think it's part of my wisdom of getting older is, I don't maybe tease as pointedly as I used to, and I just, enough times of accidentally hurting people's feelings and saying, oh, I don't like this. But again, when I was younger and getting started, I would poke people until they cried sometimes, and I did not, mean to, I think anyone who knows me would not say that I'm a mean person.

You know or that I have an ill intent towards anyone. I don't, I just sometimes it's funny. And this is more about humor and it doesn't sound like that's what we're getting into but you know, it's funny. I was talking to Sarah Parsons who does what happens at a vet clinic on instagram and TikTok and but and I was talking to her about the Comedic videos that she makes and I like her stuff because it's positive.

She doesn't do client bashing she does goofy stuff about the types of dogs when you put them on a scale, and then they have like the, 

Stephanie Goss:  Yeah. I love her. I am not on TikTok

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, me neither actually. 

Stephanie Goss:  I wouldn't say that I'm on, I mean, I now have an account. I am a boomer. So I watch my TikTok as repeat reels on Instagram, like four weeks later, but I love Sarah's stuff. It always makes me laugh.

Dr. Andy Roark: So, but we were talking about that, and, sort of one of the things that we both agreed on, and this is something I found out early in my career as well, is I would say, early on when I was posting a lot of stuff on social media and people would ask me about it, I would say, the hardest part is not being funny, it's not being funny.

Meaning, it is more challenging to not say something that you think is funny Then it is to come up with something funny to say. You can come up with something funny to say if you don't care about hurting people's feelings. But it's much harder to say, Oh, I see humor in this situation. Oh, wait a second.

Stephanie Goss:  And I'm going to take a pause. 

Dr. Andy Roark: And I'm not going to say it because it might hurt this person's feelings, even though I wouldn't want it to. I'm just, I'm going to let this one pass and I think, for some of us, that's a hard thing. I think it's especially hard if you're seeking approval, if you're a bit insecure, if you're a bit immature, things like that.

And so anyway, I say that, to try to empathize a little bit with the person, especially being young. I think that we see these things on TV where the funny boss kind of jokes about, Oh, you're fired. Conan O'Brien is classic for this. And I think Conan O'Brien is really funny, but I don't know if you've ever seen videos of Conan O'Brien being mean to his staff.

They're hilarious. They're also not how you should behave towards your staff. And like, while it's funny, I think those people probably know what they're signing on for when they're signing on with Conan. And then also, I think probably when the cameras are rolling, it's probably a little bit more, but, I can see this being held up as sort of a funny thing that bosses do.

And I just, I think that's not, I think that's not real, but I don't know. I'm trying to be generous and say, I know how bosses can make jokes about, Ah, you, that's it. You're fired. I get it. I get it. It's a mistake.

Stephanie Goss:  You have toned that down as well. I have not been fired in quite a while.

Dr. Andy Roark: That's true. I mean, that's a conscious decision.

Stephanie Goss:  For the record.

Dr. Andy Roark: That is a conscious decision, too. I mean, again, I'm trying to be really honest and vulnerable here. You and I used to joke about, like, it's a, well, congratulations, Goss, you made it through another week. I still think that's funny. But it's only funny because I don't think there's any truth to it all.

It's only funny because I don't think there's any truth to it all.

But, I still quit, I quit doing that stuff just because, what happens, I think, sometimes you have to see somebody else do it and you go, Ooh, is that what that looks like from the outside?

Stephanie Goss:  That's what I was going to say on the flip side, because I think humor is a piece of this. And I think people can lean into using humor as a crutch or as a tool to, you know, to try and if, especially if they're insecure. Right?

And on, on the other side of this, what I was going to say is going back to our, you know, seeing the person and looking at the insecurity and also assuming good intent, one of the things that I would have to ask is they were our writer was giving us some examples of kind of down leadership style presenting itself.

So like, I'm the boss, I'm in charge, stuff like that. And she said, you know, it comes across as I'm, as she's on a power trip, but I'm trying to assume good intent. So I'm seeing it as insecurity. 

The other thing that I would say could be valid is that for a lot of us stepping into a leadership role we only know what we have seen, and for a lot of people, a lot of companies are run in a very top down leadership structure and leadership style, and so it doesn't matter whether you take someone who is on the young end of the spectrum or someone who is old like myself, you get into a practice and it's okay. I only know what I've seen before. And if my boss was very much like I'm the boss, I'm the decision maker. 

This is what you're going to do and how you're going to do it. I am either going to emulate that style because it's what I know, or intentionally go the opposite direction of that style because it's what I know.

And I didn't, I didn't like it. I hated it. And so I think that asking yourself, assuming the good intent and trying to put yourself in this person's shoes and really see them, one of the questions I would ask is, this like, is this just the style that they've been exposed to? Because I can maybe not excuse the behavior. That's not what I'm saying, but I can maybe look at the behaviors through a different lens.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. I, yeah, I think you're, I think you're right. I think that it is really hard to lead a team and appear competent and confident and also to not lean into top down leadership. Like, think about that for a second. It is a, you really have to be quite good. I think it's fairly exceptional.

And like, I'm going to say here, if you're listening to this, and you work with somebody who is a leader or a manager and they are, they, are confident and you trust them and also they are very much a servant leader and kind of among the people being like, I don't know, what do you, how do you guys want to approach this problem?

You should go, you should write that person a thank you note. Yeah. I was gonna say, you should go, say thank you. because that is it is really hard. And again, I think, most of us as managers have, have been ping ponged around in there. You know, I think it's not a hard emotion to get your head around I think for most of us or at least a lot of us when we get scared we try to get control.

And that's I mean, I think that's a very common emotion if I'm afraid of what can I control and that my friends is probably the number one reason that we see micromanagers full stop. On the management side, I think that there's often a fear in trying to take control and that means Telling people what to do and looking over their shoulder and then on the medicine side It's the same. It's the same thing, you know, we'll say we have a lot of veterinarians who are perfectionist Well perfection is a manifestation of fear in a lot of in a lot of cases meaning people who are perfectionists are often practicing afraid and they just, they, don't want to not have control. 

They're really terrified that things will go wrong. And so they're practicing from a place of fear. And so when we start getting to action steps, we're going to have to do a couple of things. One of them, you know, we're going to need to look at this person with an empathetic lens. We're going to need to try to accept that they are a person.

They're just probably coming from a place of insecurity. And then when we start taking our action steps, we're going to wade into how do we address this insecurity and support those people. But just, trying to be fair to the manager here. It is. It is hard. It is. I think it's really hard to do that.

So anyway, I think that's probably my headspace is if we can look at the manager this way and see them as a person. I, again, it's not about getting upset. It's not about it's not about telling ourselves stories about them wanting power, things like that. It's recognizing that the operations medicine conversations are challenging.

And we'll deal in, we'll, wade into that a little bit when we get into the action steps as well. But but just try to have an open heart and an open mind. And then we're gonna start moving through some steps and we're gonna see how this goes.

Stephanie Goss:  Yeah, I think the last thing for me from a headspace perspective is, and I'm not even sure it's headspace, but more like pre action steps is, I think you have to take a look at what the structure actually is. And so, you know, this person said, okay, I'm not their boss. And so part of it is, what is the system in which you are working to know what resources you have available to you to help as you move forward and also like set really clear expectations when you're having the conversation with this partner, with this person as your kind of partner in running the business, because even if they're in charge of the operation side of it, you're driving the medicine, you still have to work together.

You're still partners in a way. And so I think part of it is stepping back and looking at what is the chain of command? What is the hierarchy structure? Like, how, what does that actually look like? And because one of the questions I would ask myself is, are they getting instruction or are they getting information that may be different or may not be information that you're getting. And I think that when we don't take a step back and look at that structures, it's really easy to tell ourselves that it's all coming from this person. And I would say, what if it's not. 

What if it is coming from part of the structure, the chain of command outside of this person. And so I think evaluating what, you know, in terms of the structure and then, you know, figuring out, okay, it doesn't have to stay this way. But what are our two roles supposed to look like at this point next to each other? Are we working in parallel or are we working, you know, or we, are we going against each other or is one of us trying to go up and the other is trying to go side to side?

Like, what does that actually look like from the job perspective? I think those thinking those things through before you attack it are the other two things for me.

Dr. Andy Roark: You gotta stop taking my action steps. Like, you're just, like, We're gonna get a message, we're gonna get a question in the mailbag that says, My co-host keeps taking my action steps and putting them into her headspace section, and then I don't get to talk about them.

Stephanie Goss:  Okay, well, then. Let's just take a break and we can talk about action steps. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Let’s just take a break. Well everybody's heard.. 

Stephanie Goss:  Forget every, forget everything that I just said, and let's take a break and we'll come back and talk about it again.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well it's not gonna be the same but okay.

Hey guys! I hope you were enjoying the Uncharted Veterinary Podcast. If you are, you might be interested in the other podcasts that I do. The Cone of Shame Veterinary Podcast. It is very different. It is a different format. It's me interviewing guests from throughout veterinary medicine. 

I have medical experts and I talked to them about cases. I have industry experts and I talk to them about the industry and where things are going. I have mental health and wellness experts, and I talked to them about thriving in vet medicine and the challenges that we face and things like that. 

It is a great podcast. It's different from Uncharted in that it's not so much business, there's more whole medicine and you know how you know Coke, zero is like it tastes good, but it has no calories? It's kind of like the Uncharted Podcast but it has no Stephanie Goss and so that's a strike against it. But it's got other things going for it. I really think you should try it and check it out. Cone of Shame podcast comes out every week. Yeah. Try it out. You might just love it. All right. Let's get back into this episode.   

Dr. Andy Roark: Right, let's get back into this slightly stale first action step

Stephanie Goss:  Sorry, our pre action steps that I apparently jumped you're just ahead.

Dr. Andy Roark: I see you taking action steps and putting them in a headspace so that you get to talk About him before I can get there.. I see you 

Stephanie Goss:  Let's be real. Sometimes I have to steal the Andy show. It can't be the Andy show all the time.

Dr. Andy Roark: That's true. I think if anyone counted the number of words that was said, I think I've got a pretty good margin. I was gonna call it a margin of victory I'm like, I don't know if that's a victory Andy It's a margin of airtime that's your trophy. 

Stephanie Goss: That’s your trophy. Okay. Andy Roark, what would be our first action step?

Andy Roark: Well, you know, so honestly there's about four things That I would do all at once. Not like at the same time all at once. But there's a couple of there's groundwork that I would lay here right before I do anything with this person. And so let's lay some groundwork down. So, yeah, I would say before I do anything. Number one is we need to get some role clarity here.

Stephanie Goss:  Yep.

Dr. Andy Roark: Full stop. Like we need to get some role clarity here. And a lot of times what happens, people go, Hey, you're gonna run the medicine and I'll run the operations. And nobody really talks about what that looks 

Stephanie Goss:  Right. What does that actually mean? 

Dr. Andy Roark: What does that mean? And and, when medicine and operations do not come into alignment, what is our mechanism for resolving that issue?

For example, let's just say that there are strong feelings on the floor that we are at our maximum capacity for the number of patients that we can see in a day. And, operations believes that we need a 10 percent increase in the number of patients that we're seeing in order to achieve our required results.

Those two things are incompatible. If the team says we need to see less and operations says we need to see more, we, I'm, how do you, we, there has to be a mechanism for resolving this and it's funny medicine operation should be a yin and a yang. They should be. And if one dominates the other, that's probably bad and I mean, it could go either way. 

If you have a practice that doesn't give a crap about the running of the business and payroll and the finances, that's not good. That's not a good long term place to be. And the same thing, of course, is if the place only cares about hitting numbers and they don't care about the medicine they're delivering, that's also a bad thing.

Now, I don't see hospitals that are ever that polarized, but, and I do, I'll also say, In my experience, the scales don't tend to land in the middle and stay there. They tend to shift back and forth, like you'd expect in a relationship. Sometimes in my marriage, I am the guy who is doing more of the family stuff.

I am carrying more of the load, because my wife needs me to. And other times, I need my wife to carry the load, and she's going to carry it for a while. And If we've argued every time we did not believe that the workload in our life was exactly a 50-50 split, we would never stop arguing.

Instead, we talk, we communicate our needs, we keep going. And sometimes things shift to me, and sometimes they shift to her, but we go forward in good faith and communicate and know that we're going to keep trying to get the balance right, and we're not going to let either party, you know, breakdown under the load and but that is trust. And so I feel like our practice relationships sort of need to be that way, too.

So to your point, we've got to get some role clarity here. We have to figure out kind of our ways of working stuff with that. Now, I say that not as as a solving this issue, this should be done. I would say that entirely outside of any sort of a feedback conversation.

I just as we're working this, let's go ahead and figure out No reason, just kind of want to know, and let's just sort of talk about how we're working.

No complaints, but, how do you, how do we want to handle things like this? And start to gather information. No, number, two, which I said at the same time as I'm laying this groundwork, this part of it, just build the relationship with this person.

It is so much easier to give feedback to someone that you know and that you like and that likes you and feels cared about by you than it is by someone who is you don't know very well.

If you're going to have to keep working with this person, investing some time into knowing them, and I mean really knowing them, like what are their hobbies, what do they care about, what makes them laugh, what's their favorite place to have dinner, what does their spouse do. 

Stephanie Goss:  Why are they doing this job? Like, what do they love about this job? 

Dr. Andy Roark: Totally. And I think that dovetails into, sort of the, third part for me, which again, same time, what, are their values? What motivates them? What do they care about in this work? What's important to them at the shelter, at the clinic? And those are, again, if you walk in with a clipboard and start interviewing them, it's going to be weird.

It's going to take some time to sort of gather this information. But, you can do these things concurrently. And then the last thing I would say in this sort of pre-work part, go ahead and start with positive reinforcement. It's, a lot of times we're like, I'm going to go in there and we're going to have a hard conversation.

It's like, you know what makes a hard conversation easier? Having 10 easy conversations before it that make the other person feel good. And you've been putting up with this for a while. We don't have to fix the behavior today. Okay. Thanks. Go ahead and start laying down some positive reinforcement. And, when you do some positive reinforcement and the person's face lights up and they say, Thank you.

Thanks for saying that. You're gonna feel a strong desire to say, And, oh, no, you're gonna feel a strong desire to say, And, well, let me just Well, there's one other thing that I just want to mention too, don't 

Stephanie Goss:  Oh by the way. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh, by the way, exactly, you're like, oh, I made them happy. Now's the time to drop the hammer. Exactly! Don't do the compliment sandwich. Everybody's looking for it. They all know it. Just give them a compliment and they'll be done. 

Stephanie Goss:  No compliment sandwiches, people. 

Dr. Andy Roark: It's funny. We've all seen those conversations where Somebody will give up just praise It'll say something really nice and the other person will light up and the first person says or thinks to themself This is my chance to ask for the thing that I want and then you ask him for something and you basically turn the beautiful Thing that you did into something toxic Just take the win and go away, and keep this up for a couple weeks, and then we'll come back.

And I'll also tell you, you can make a lot of change with positive reinforcement. Catch them doing something that's good, and tell them how much you enjoy it, or how much it means, or, the impact that it had. And and just start with that, and we can have a hard conversation, but it helps if we can lay some positive groundwork first.

Stephanie Goss:  And what I would say is if you are in a place in this person may or may not be. But if you're in a place where you're really starting to feel. struggle with that. And you are really struggling to see the good in someone else. This is a good place to phone a friend. So it doesn't have to be, it doesn't, it's ideal if they're the things like you said, Andy, that you're seeing yourself.

And if I've been there in that place where it's like, I can't, I'm really struggling to look at this person and see positive. What you can do is say, Ask others to help you catch them being good. So can you do something that even the families that are adopting from the shelter that are interacting with her as the adoption coordinator or the rest of the team at the shelter, can you say like, Hey guys, let's catch each other doing something good and use that to help deliver some of that. It can soften it for yourself if you're having strong feels here. So just remember it doesn't, if you can do it great, and if you truly are in that place where you're like, can't look at this person and assume the positive, sometimes you need to phone a friend.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I agree with that. I think that's the groundwork for me to start getting towards having this conversation. It's just, those are simple things, kind of run in the background. They take a little bit of time. Go ahead and get them started. And then, while we're doing this, now we're going to start moving into actually, like, addressing the behaviors and things.

The first thing I would try to do, is I would do some root cause analysis to try to minimize the amount of feedback. Now, when we have somebody that is just like, this person's a micromanager, they micromanaged me here, and they micromanaged me here, and they made this bad joke here, and they did this thing here, and like, people are open to some feedback, but they quickly get overloaded.

Stephanie Goss:  Not a laundry list. 

Dr. Andy Roark: If you laundry list people with feedback, it does not go well. Their feelings get hurt, they feel just pounded on, picked on. They will find one piece of the list that you gave, that they think was misrepresented or not fair, and then they will grab onto that piece, and they will fight with you about it.

And it's because their feelings are hurt. And again, the other nine things, they won't dispute, but they will grab one thing and they will fight and they will feel wronged and mistreated. And so, just, don't, so when I say root cause analysis, what am I talking about? The idea is if let's say that, I, let's say that I let's say that I joked about firing Stephanie Goss and I hurt her feelings.

And then I joked about employees sleeping in and I hurt Stephanie Goss feelings. And then I found something else, and I hurt something else's feelings.

Stephanie Goss:  Listen, Andy Roark, I was up at 4 a. m. Don't tell me that I sleep in.

Dr. Andy Roark: No, I know, I, none of these things are true, but I'm just trying to think of 

Stephanie Goss:  I'm like, I'm doing what I would do right? Like, if you give me a laundry list, I'm going to find one thing that I can just attack because I'm feeling attacked. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh, totally. But I think where I'm going is, a lot of times we have these behaviors. The truth is, it doesn't of good to give me a feedback and say you hurt Stephanie's feelings when you joked about this You heard him when you joked about this you heard him when you did this other thing The truth is andy the one piece of feedback is andy I think that you're struggling to communicate instead with stephanie in a way that is I don't think your intent is coming across to her in your communications meaning I think you're trying to bond with her, and she's, and her feelings are being hurt because that's not how she communicates or how she's used to communicating.

And that's one piece of feedback, as opposed to, you hurt her feelings here, and here. And so when I say root cause analysis, that's what I'm talking about. It's taking the individual things, recognizing what is the underlying problem, and then giving feedback on that one problem.

I think that's a, I think that's, what we're trying to get to.

And in this case, there may be more than one problem. That's okay. But we want to minimize. The number of things we're requesting. And so if we want to talk about micromanaging, let's just talk about micromanaging. And then also I would not use the term micromanaging because people really hate to be told they're micromanaging.

Stephanie Goss:  Well, and I think that they our writer gave us a really good example for root cause analysis in terms of their letter, because there was an example where they got a new autoclave in the clinic and the medical director Put it near where their sink area is. And it sounds like this person was frustrated by that and made some comments about, you know, well, you sure you're making a bunch of decisions, unilateral decisions, or you're making decisions for the rest of us kind of commentary. 

That's actually a really good example of a thing that you could do really. Good root cause analysis on because is this person really mad that the autoclave is next to the sink? Or are they mad because they feel somehow left out of the decision making process? Looking at that, from the outside, being stepped back from it. If I'm at 30,000 feet and I'm looking down, this is a really easy one. 

They probably don't give two craps about where the autoclave goes. They're mad about something else. And so this is where you have to do that root cause analysis to figure out, are they upset that they're left out of the conversation?

What happened here that is causing them to have that kind of picking attitude? And this is where the. You know, the tool in our toolbox of what happened really comes in handy because it's really, it can be really easy to just say, Hey, I heard you. And it sounds to me like you've got some feelings about not making decisions together. Can you tell me more? Like what happened? And just stop and then listen

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I think that's, I think that's really good. That is a great example of the root cause analysis I'm talking about. I would use the autoclave as the example, but then I would talk about how we're making decisions and the balance of I don't want you to feel excluded and also I don't want us to have a staff meeting every time… 

Stephanie Goss:  to decide where the autoclave goes. 

Dr. Andy Roark: we're going to put the autoclave and plug it in.

And, you know, how do you, how involved in these conversations do you want to have, to be knowing that we're both trying, we both have a lot on our plate and we're trying to get things done, how do we navigate this? And that takes us into this beautiful conversation. So just real quick right here.

Let's take that example and sort of run with it. Good root cause analysis. I would use the autoclave as the example, but we need to talk about how we make decisions and how this person feels included without making everybody else feel powerless and without making it so that decisions take time and something like the medical workflow is requiring her sign off. 

Let's figure this out and we're gonna have to use our hard conversation skills because she might Expect more control than she's going to have and we can talk about that, but it doesn't have to become an emotional conversation.

It can be something to work through. Remember your safe conversations, right? So we talk about safe conversations a lot. Can you sit next to this person and smile at them? If not, this is not the time to have the conversation. Go home. 

The autoclave can be plugged in tomorrow. Or, it can be moved tomorrow, but going right now when you're triggered and having the conversation is a bad idea.

So that's S. A is assume good intent. We've been talking about that. We've been doing that. F, has this person been set up to fail? What here is my fault? Maybe she doesn't realize that. I perceive this as being in my wheelhouse, or she's been upset to fail because we haven't talked about how we're going to make decisions like this before.

And if I can get into that head space, it helps. And the last thing is End result, which is what is the outcome that we want to have in this conversation. So we're not just venting, we're actually trying to go somewhere. And in this case, I would say. Can we talk about how we're going to make decisions like this?

Cause I would like us to, not step on each other's toes and also to be able to work autonomously and make decisions in an, in effect, in an efficient way. And so that's it. Remember your SBI format for giving feedback, right? Situation. Hey, when I set this autoclave up, you came and you moved it and you said this thing.

Right. So that's the situation. The behavior is B that's you said this. So when we set up the autoclave, you came and you said that too many decisions were getting made without your input.

Stephanie Goss:  Right.

Dr. Andy Roark: This is the impact that it has on me. That made me feel like I don't have any power to make decisions or made me feel frustrated because I feel like this is a fairly straightforward thing, and I'm also feeling like you're, might be feeling resentment about me trying to get things done. And I don't know if that's true, but that's how I'm feeling and I was wondering if we could talk about it. So SBI, what's the situation?

What's the behavior of the person? What is the impact that behavior is having? And then can we talk about it? So I think that's a big part for me. Remember that you can stage the conversation. I think a lot of times people are like, we've done everything that Andy and Stephanie talked about.

This is it. It's our one shot. It's like Eminem with his mom's spaghetti on his sweatshirt. Only get one chance. Don't miss your opportunity. I can keep going. Anyway I'm not going to um, lose yourself, the team meeting. 

Stephanie Goss:  we just have a, that's a whole, this is a whole other Uncharted podcast rap battle. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Do you ever plug in autoplay and have the manager come and tell you, do you have to move it? Tun tun tun (singing) this needs to stop. This needs to stop. Okay. You 

Stephanie Goss: Where were we? Stage the conversation.  

Dr. Andy Roark: You can a hundred percent stage this conversation. And you can talk to the person and then you can listen to them and then you can say I hear you. Let me process this because it's not how I was looking.

This is not. This is very different from how I was perceiving the situation. And so let me think on this And then I and then maybe we can talk some more about it but I just I hear you I need to think on this and you can do that and you can go home and you can meditate on this you do not have to shoot it out right here and right now. Go, you can get into a safe headspace and come back.

A lot of times, you get that download and it, you might get triggered at that moment. You can bail on the conversation. It doesn't mean you're giving up your position. It doesn't mean that you're yielding and you're going to go forward and do what this person says. You can say, I need, all right, I need to 

Stephanie Goss:  I'm gonna think about this. Yep. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Be clear about what you need. And then. After you've talked through it, after you've talked to the person, you've heard what they say, you've gone back and forth, you need to, at that point, figure out where you're at, figure out if this situation is going to be sustainable, figure out if you, if there's a way, if you need to go up to the chain, can you go up the chain?

If you go up the chain, does it go anywhere? If it doesn't go anywhere, then ultimately you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna pick your poison. You're either gonna stay here and continue to work with this person, and they're not gonna flip a switch and be perfect in one day. Just know that. It's gonna be, it's gonna take time.

We're gonna work with them about what it takes to make them comfortable and at some point if it might not work this may really suck. I will tell you it's funny. One of my things is that I haven't written this anywhere, but I keep looking for an opportunity to write about it. I think it's funny that people talk about independent practices and corporate practices as if they're two fairly homogeneous groups, and they are absolutely not.

And people are like, what do I need to know about going into corporate practice? And the truth is, here's the thing about going into corporate practice, nothing will matter as much as direct boss.

Stephanie Goss:  Yes. 

Dr. Andy Roark: The person who manages you. Will have probably the biggest impact on your day to day life of anything.

And so when people like this, this mega corporation is better than that mega corporation is like, that's ridiculous. You can get a great manager and end up in a nice little practice. And you can have a wonderful experience in any corporate group.

Stephanie Goss:  Mmm -hmm. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Corporate group, or you could be in the best corporate group in the world and have a big, Bad manager that makes you not want to be there and really poisons the whole thing for you And again, and the same thing is true in independent practices. I think that people don't

Stephanie Goss:  Yep. That was, I was going to say, spoiler alert, the same thing happens in private practice, right? You can have a manager or you can have a practice owner who can make your life miserable, or they can make it the best experience under the sun. And so you and I are absolutely on the same page in that respect, like that piece of the conversation.

It always gets me when that's this perspective, because it is so narrow and it really is so much the same.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, so that's sort of it. Ultimately. We're going to pick our poison. It's not about it's funny people say well It's xyz animal corporation. You go. No, it's not. It was Dale. It was Dale the practice manager at your one little branch who made you miserable and upper management or the people above Dale didn't fix it or they weren't able to fix it and that turned out to not be an opportunity that was going to work for you.

It doesn't mean, it doesn't mean that's a bad hospital group. It just means that was not a good job for you. It might've mean that you have a bad, direct boss. It happens.

Stephanie Goss:  Yeah. And 

Dr. Andy Roark: If only, Stephanie, if only there was some sort of training that people could have for leading or managing other people. If only there was a certificate that gives people everything they need to lead and manage other people. 

Stephanie Goss:  only you could pick Andy And Stephanie's brain about the tools that you need to lead.

Dr. Andy Roark: That would be crazy. You would have to have something like an Uncharted membership type thing that gave you free access to the Leadership Essentials Certificate, which is a 500 value that you get for free if you become an Uncharted member. Like, something like that would have to exist.

Stephanie Goss:  Yes, I don't know what that could be.

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh well. 

Stephanie Goss:  What could it be?

Dr. Andy Roark: I don't know, me neither.

Stephanie Goss:  I think this was a great episode. What do you think, Andy? 

Dr. Andy Roark: This is gonna write this up as the second highest achievement of my day. Right after being number one on the 24 podcasts we're listening to from Instinct that I saw earlier today. Which in all seriousness, thank you to them. That was so kind.

Stephanie Goss:  Did we miss on this ball? Did we hit it out of the park?

I'm curious.

Dr. Andy Roark: I don't know. I never 

Stephanie Goss:  I mean, you always think we hit it out of the park, so I'm super curious to hear what our listeners think after this week's after this week's episode We'll, 

Dr. Andy Roark: I’m going to forward it to my parents. Like I always do and say, look, dad, look, mom, many of their podcasts. And I will seek their approval.

Stephanie Goss:  We'll wait for Patty's review. The OG, listener, the OG fan. Have a fantastic week, everybody.

Dr. Andy Roark: Thanks everybody. Take care.

Stephanie Goss: Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message.You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can. Email us at podcast at uncharted vet. com. Take care everybody and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Vet Tech

Jul 03 2024

Old Skool Medicine Makes Me Cringe

A veterinary professional who thought they found their dream clinic is starting to see some old-fashioned medicine that needs to go. In this episode of the Uncharted Veterinary Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and Stephanie Goss address a mailbag letter from a new team member at a rural practice who is alarmed by outdated and unsafe medical practices. Concerned about the lack of physical exams, rushed appointments, and poor surgical sterility, this person wonders how to raise these issues without overstepping their bounds. Andy and Stephanie discuss how to navigate the difficult conversation of addressing substandard care, offering advice on recognizing capacity limits, setting personal and professional standards, and practical ways to advocate for patient safety. Let's get into this episode…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · 294 – Old Skool Medicine Makes Me Cringe

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss and this is another episode of the Uncharted podcast. And this week on the podcast, Andy and I are tackling an anonymous letter from the mailbag because veterinary medicine is a very small world. And this writer is asking us, how do I address some old school practices, medicine that make me uncomfortable, wildly uncomfortable in my new practice.

This one was one of those that Andy and I thought would be probably a short episode and yet turned out to be our normal length. So we had things to say from both the Headspace and Action Steps perspective, so let's get into this. 

Dr. Andy Roark: And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark and the one and only Stephanie it's time I disappear Goss. They play that song at CrossFit and I, I lose my mind. It's like that Livin On a Prayer by Bon Jovi. Like you can tell, you can tell all the masters athletes get real hype when living on a prayer comes on. That's me. I left all the weights. We're halfway there. Indeed, Jon of course. You and me.

Stephanie Goss: Uh, How's it going, Andy Roark

Dr. Andy Roark: It's good. It's really good. It's humid as all get out, it's just like, it's like, I don't, I just, I go for swims with my dog around the neighborhood instead of walks because it's 99 percent humidity here.

Stephanie Goss: I was gonna say, how have the storms been? I heard you guys had some big storms come through that direction.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, you know, it just

Stephanie Goss: another day

Dr. Andy Roark: It’s ratcheted the humidity up and kept it there. But yeah,

Stephanie Goss: Gross.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, it's been gross.

Stephanie Goss: It's beautiful over here

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I got yeah, Seattle. It's like, enjoy, in Washington, enjoy the six weeks that's nice every year.

Stephanie Goss: Oh, don't worry, the rain will be back before summer acts. This is, this is this is our first signs of actual spring, like spring here starts in May, when the roadies pop, and summer doesn't start until after the 5th of July, so this is not, this is not actually the end of the rain, there's more coming, but I am in taking every second of the sunshine, and actually you would be super proud. Yesterday I was like, I'm going to channel my inner Andy Roark, and I am going to go work and think about some things creatively, and like, do some work outside and I mowed the freaking ginormous lawn that I have.

And I, and I had my headphones in and I was listening to some podcasts. And then I was playing, I was working on planting some seedlings that I've got growing. Cause now the frost danger has passed. And so I was putting in some stuff, new stuff in my vegetable garden. And it was a very nice day and I did not get sunburned. So, I was very proud of myself.

Dr. Andy Roark: That's amazing. That's, that's, first of all, that's amazing. You don't get much more fair skin than you. That's did you have like, did you have like the old person huge hat? Cause I do, I have one of those. A hundred percent, yeah.

Stephanie Goss: I do.

Dr. Andy Roark: Long sleeves and a big giant hat.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. I have the long sleeves and the giant floppy sun hat and the SPF, you know, 85 and all of the things.

Dr. Andy Roark: That stuff is so important. So, I was looking at the I was looking at the Merck well being study recently. I'm gonna, I'm, I'm, I'm trying, I'm, I'm writing about this cause I'm really into it right now. But I'm always, I just have to pick my words a little bit careful cause I don't want people to feel criticized.

But I just, I feel like there is such a narrative around “vet medicine is awful.” And I, I, like, I hear people that I really love and respect will say things like, well, you know, like, do you know how this profession is? Or in this profession, this is why everybody's leaving the profession. And, and Merck did their well being study this year.

It's really freaking good, and it talks about basically really, veterinarians are not that different from the general population. It's funny when you look at, so they're looking at doctors and looking at doctor wellness. Young doctors are at high risk of leaving the profession. Like, we have a problem with young doctors.

However, we really, it's for veterinarians, I can't talk about support staff, but for veterinarians, we really don't have any different exit from the profession than other professions do. Like we basically mirror, mirror every other profession. And it's just interesting, the big the big drivers that they came up with that, that keep veterinarians sort of in practice are on the personal side, it's work life balance.

It's having, it's having an active social life, meaning spending time with friends and family. It's having positive coping mechanisms. And it's having a financial advisor, which I thought was interesting. But those were like the four big drivers of wellness. When you look at veterinarians the– it's really interesting.

The number of veterinarians who feel reward and fulfilled is pretty darn high. It's over 70 percent are either extremely or somewhat satisfied with their job. But, when you look at how do you think other, the rest of their profession stacks up, the numbers are wildly different. We all think that vets are better are burned out and unhappy, and so we, we think that about 33 percent of veterinarians are extremely unhappy and it's not, it's like 11%, you know what I mean? It's it's, you know, 1 in, 1 in 10 but it's just, it's, it's, I've just been thinking about it, it's just really interesting, but it's, it's, it's kind of weird What I, what I've believed for a long time is that medicine is uniquely challenging and it's hard.

We can do so much for ourselves by having friends and family that we spend time with outside of work and having work life balance, meaning things that we do to unplug and to, you know, and to just get away from the clinic. And the last is the positive coping mechanisms. I mean, that's just, you know, that's the stuff we talk about.

It's mindfulness. It's exercise. Exercise was a huge one. They actually looked at that. They were like, yeah, the happiest, happiest vets exercise, you know, regularly. And it's just, it's all of these sort of basic things that we have all known. But it was interesting to see that sort of displayed back and it's like, you know, our, our profession is, is challenging.

It is not the horrible nightmare place that at least for veterinarians, that people want to make it out to be. I think that's, I just think that's important. I think, I think when we tell ourselves that our profession is broken, everybody's leaving, I think that affects the way we look at our days and think about what we do and in a way that's probably not healthy.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, that makes, that makes sense. Well, that's a, I mean, it's a good headspace to, to be in, I think, when we think about people. Think about ourselves. And I think headspace is going to be important to this episode today because we got a mailbag and I, it's funny because this one sat in the queue for a little bit because I didn't know what to do with it because I looked at it the first time and I thought, this might be the shortest episode that we ever do.

Andy Roark: That’s exactly what this is. 

Stephanie Goss: And then I thought, is, is it, is it worth doing this episode? Because I feel like it's one of those questions that maybe only has one answer, but then I like forced myself to set my personal, like, filtered answer aside and then like, look at it again. And I was like, you know, I think that this is worth doing.

And I think it could be some interesting conversation. So I'm excited about this one because we got an email from Someone who I'm assuming that they are an assistant or a technician, someone on the, the, the patient care team. But they, and it could be a doctor, I don't know, but they said that, you know, they have started at a new practice and they live somewhat rural Really, and there's not a lot of practices in their area.

So they have started at a new hospital and they are very concerned over some of the medicine that they are seeing and some of the things that they're seeing in the hospital. They picked this hospital in part because it had phenomenal feedback and reviews online and in the community from clients.

So clients rave about this hospital and so they were super excited. And what they have found since being in the hospital is that the physical exams are almost nonexistent. The appointments are really, really rushed through, but their biggest concern, and they're like, I could deal with those things and kind of, you know, focus on the exams and, you know, talking about it within the team, and there's a giant red flag, which is they have some serious concerns over safety, patient safety, and sterility they have they gave us some, some examples, surgeries where the doctor is not gowned up, not wearing a, not wearing a cap in surgery, you know, not wearing a gown, no gloves. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Not wearing gloves, just raw dogging it not wearing gloves. 

Stephanie Goss: You went there. You went there. Pre, you know, pre popped syringes, things, things like that. So their question was, Hey, how do I bring this up without stepping on people's toes? I know that I'm new. I don't have authority within the practice. However, I have serious concerns because I feel like this level of care is not up to par.

With the industry as a whole, and I am actually worried that there's you know, and we're creating an unsafe environment for our patients, and he said, I want to be able to confidently recommend my hospital and feel like it's going to live up to the feedback that I saw. However, they said, I don't even think I would bring my pets here, which is a huge red flag to me and reading all of it.

And so I was just like, okay, this, this is going to be, this is going to be interesting. So, Andy Roark, how do we address the old school medicine and bad practices? That makes someone feel uncomfortable in a new practice.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. Oh no. Oh no That's this is a this is a censored version of in the notes. You'll see the first line contains words in it. I'm not gonna say in the practice because oh no, this is. 

Stephanie Goss: We need a profanity sensor on this episode.

Dr. Andy Roark: All right. Yeah. Okay. Now let, well, let's get into this. I, I wanna make this pre, I wanna make this productive.

Alright, cool. From a headspace standpoint I , I hate, I, it, I really try hard to not be like, well, let's talk about what we should have done in the past. And I really don't wanna do that.

Stephanie Goss: Cause that feels a little bit like I told you so.

Dr. Andy Roark: It does. It feels a lot like I told you so. But I did not tell this person so.

Stephanie Goss: Right. So we're going to say it anyway.

Dr. Andy Roark: I just, but I have to, like, I have to just say the number one thing I recommend to people taking a job in a vet practice is you have got to do a working interview.

And this is why. Like, this is why. And so, there's the, the, the way I recommend it, especially for vet students coming out, and they haven't, you know, I think when you've been in practice for a while, you see red flags. Because you've, you know, because they, you're much more comfortable in the practice. But when you're a brand new vet too, sometimes it's a little tricky, and you don't exactly know what to look for.

You need to do a working, if you're going to commit to a place, you need to do a working interview and then go there. And then, you need to I always tell people this. You need to try to go on Monday or Friday, because that's generally when they're the busiest, and you want to see them when they're stressed.

If you go there and everybody's having coffee and standing around and smiling at you, That's not really what it's like to be there. That's not bad. And they will try to get you to come at a time when they have some free time to talk to you. So they'll try to get you to come. Ask if you can come back at the end of the week and just shadow for a while.

And if they say no, I would be concerned about that. But you want to get there. You want to talk to management leadership. And then you also want to talk to the support staff. And some of my favorite questions for the support staff are, What's your favorite thing about working here? And I ask them that so that I can ask them the next question, which is, What's your least favorite thing about working here?

Because they'll answer that question if you let them, if you ask them the good one first. And so there's that. Things like, do doctors do surgeries the same, or is there variation in what they want? And I like that question, because it tells me a little bit about how the practice runs. But when they tell me there's variation, I'll say, What is it? Give me some examples. How do different doctors do things differently? And this is me digging. And that's kind of what that, what that sounds like.

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: What's the, what's the standard surgical induction protocol? That's a big question. Big one for me. And again, I'm not trying to critique your drugs and go, well, they use this and not that. 

Stephanie Goss: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark: I'm looking for big flags, you know, we gas them down. I'm like, tell me more about what does it, what do you mean when you say, how often does that happen? What does that look like? What do you guys do for pain control in your space surgeries? I just, if they're like, oh yeah, we're using, we're using lidocaine, you know, you know, in the body wall, and we're doing these different things, and I'm like, I just, I can't, I'm not trying to critique, I'm just looking for big sweeping red flags, or are there places I should dig a little bit deeper.

What do you do about pain control in orthopedics? You guys are out here in the middle of nowhere. What does that look like? I just want to know. Are they using CRIs? Are they using epidurals? It may not be a deal breaker for me, but I'm trying to get them to talk to me about where the rubber meets the road as far as the things I care about in the medical side of practice.

Stephanie Goss: And I think this goes for new people who are new to the veterinary field and especially for our experienced team members. I think the cringe factor for me in this is that I've not yet met a person in veterinary medicine who didn't develop after, you know, at least a job or so, develop a sense for themselves of what feels right or wrong…

Dr. Andy Roark: Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Goss: on a personal level for them when it comes to medicine. And wrong is probably the wrong word, but like what feels comfortable to them? What type of medicine do they want to practice? And I think that there is, when I have discussed this with people in regards to interviews, I have always gotten frowned at by colleagues who are like, people shouldn't be allowed to turn their nose up at what other people are doing.

And, and I can understand that perspective because nobody wants to feel like they're being judged and it is okay to have a personal level of comfort and it is okay. And it should not be. only limited to our doctors. I am an advocate that every single member of your team from the front desk staff to the kennels and everything in between should be able to have a sense of comfort for what they, the type of medicine that they want to be involved in.

And that is a very personal thing. And I have friends who are like, I will not work in a practice if they don't use CRI for pain control in orthopedic patients. That's, that's okay with me. Like, I, I don't, I don't understand why we would find something wrong with people figuring out what matters to them and being true to that.

I can understand wanting people to reserve the judgment and not putting judgment on other people, but I don't think that there is necessarily, there are very few things that that are ethically wrong, and we work in a profession that has defined rules and regulations from a state perspective all the way to a national perspective on the things that should be morally wrong to anyone working in veterinary medicine.

You take an oath coming out of vet school, do you not? talks about what you're going to do for patients.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, you know, I talk about this all the time. I really think that the relationship we have with work is a relationship, and I talk about it like that, and that's how I think about it. And if you meet someone and they are not someone you want to have a deep and ongoing relationship with, that's not bad.

Like, that's, that's life. It doesn't mean they're a bad person. It's, part of it's just about fit. Now, if you, if you and I go on a date, And then you just decide you don't like me and you go and tell everyone that you don't like me and you go and you tell me that i'm a bad person because I like to eat at the you know, I don't know at the at the at Jimmy John's I took you.

Yeah, if you're like, how dare you take me to jimmy john's on a date? You're a terrible person. I would be offended by that if you enjoyed Jimmy John's we're like, this is great I think I'm gonna go on some different dates. 

Stephanie Goss: On more dates with people. 

Dr. Andy Roark: That's, that's your, that's your thing.

That, that's, that's fine. I think that sounds silly, but it's true to me. But that is how I think about it. When you take a job, you're going to be there forever. 40 hours a week like that is a huge chunk of your waking hours It should be a it should be a fit, you know Like I don't want to be with some with a person that I just do not connect with and does not share my values, you know, and again doesn't mean they're a bad person They're just I, we're just not, this ain't working, the chemistry's just not here.

It can be, it can be that superficial, if this just doesn't work for me that doesn't mean that's not the perfect person for someone else. It's just not the perfect person for me, and I think we all understand that, but I think we should port that over, over to vet medicine, you know. I think one of the big things for me this person said, and this is why it sort of reacts so strongly to it, is when, I think it's a big deal if you would not take your own pet to the place that you work. For me, that's an in, that's an integrity thing. 

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Yes. 

Dr. Andy Roark: I want to look at pet owners in the eye and say, you should bring your pet to our practice and mean it. And if I won't take my dog to our practice, but I'm telling you, you should bring your dog to the practice or your cat to the practice, that's, to me, that feels, let's say, it's kind of unethical.

It's a failure of integrity. It's, it's do what you say you're going to do, you know, it's kind of it. And, it's walking your talk. And, and I, to me, that's a big deal. And the, and the thing I took away from that is in this case, the problem with this. The question is, from the examples given, the gap between where this person is and where this practice is, it feels enormous.

It's one thing to say, this practice doesn't leverage their technicians like I think they should. It's one thing to say, I really don't like the drugs we have in our drug box. Like those are, those are things. 

But, but if you're like, I'm pretty good with everything else, I go, okay, I, I can tell you, there's things my wife of 20 years, and I don't see eye to eye on, and we just kind of, it's uh, Ruth Bader Ginsburg's quote is something like, you know, in marriage, it, it helps to be a little bit deaf.

There's, there's kind of like, there, you should get to the point where you just kind of go, okay, well, I'm not, I'm going to just not pay attention to that and and freaking, and I'm going to be deaf on this point. At some point when your whole marriage is being deaf, you're like, oh boy, this is, this is, this is bad.

And so, so I'm, I'm worried about that. I think that's a problem. To me, to me, this is the easy answer to this is I feel like we're too far apart to, to salvage this. Now, let's play the game in a second if we're in a rural place and there's not another option, which makes it harder, and I can do that, that's fine.

But, for me, if there's two options, which is leave or go, I would say I'm going 99 percent of the time. Like, I'm going. This is, this is too far apart. I think that we have. I think some, some of the, because we're talking headspace here. The old sunk cost fallacy is probably at play, which is, I went through the interview process, and I moved here, and I'm here now when I've come this far.

And I go, okay, just because we've sunk a lot into this, does not mean that we need to continue to spend time here. Just because we put a lot of effort to get here, doesn't mean we should continue to stay here and not be happy. If you were starting over today, would you stay at this practice or would you go somewhere else?

And the answer is I would immediately go somewhere else. Then I think you should go somewhere else. And that's sort of the sunk cost fallacy. The other thing that I'm going to say here, because I want to validate this person in one way of what they see, is that I have been a firm believer that vet medicine is divided into two components.

There's the relationship component and there's the medicine component. And practices can crush at one and not the other. And people can crush at one and not the other. And I had this kind of weird idea, but I still stand by it. When we talk about mentorship and finding a mentor, I think that most doctors benefit from having a medical mentor and a relationship mentor.

And they're usually not the same person. The relationship mentor is someone who they Talk kind of like you do not not in their tone of voice, but the way they talk to clients Matches up with the way that you talk to clients. And so I'm a high eye in the disc scale. As you know, I am a big I like to tell stories I like to And I worked with some doctors who were great storytellers and fabulous relationship builders.

And I learned like a sponge. I just soaked it up. And they were great. And I worked with other doctors who were phenomenal and they had a much more reserved style. And I just, I didn't, the way they talk to clients is not how I talk to clients. Not good or bad. It's just, it wasn't my style. So I found doctors that kind of had a similar sort of outgoing, gregarious style to mine and really learned a ton from them.

Now, some of those really quiet doctors, they thought about medicine the way I think about it and their thought processes made sense and the way they approach cases made sense and they were the ones, not the, not the back slapping, you know, fun guys that I learned the relationship part from but the quiet doctors are the one I went and talked to about the medicine because I Understood the way they thought and again, it's not about being smart because there were some people who were so smart I could not I could not understand like their mind was doing things my brain simply like they were flying an F1 fighter and I needed help running my bicycle.

And like again, not good or bad. They just weren't a match for me. It sounds like this case, it sounds like this clinic has created the relationship part, but the medicine part is just, they're not where this person wants to be. I don't know, are they equally important if you're taking a job there?

Honestly, the medicine is probably more important because you can kind of communicate the way that you communicate. I think they're both important to some degree as far as fitting in. There's one clinic I worked at, and I really like this clinic, but it was, I call it the church mouse clinic, because they were just, they were all very introverted.

They had music that played at a very low level, and in the back was just quiet, and they were not unhappy. That's important. This was not an unhappy place. 

They were just very quiet. And I, exactly, and it's not that I didn't enjoy it there. But I, I always had that feeling of like when you're talking in the movie theater, like before the movie

Stephanie Goss: In the library. Andy's in the library at work. 

Dr. Andy Roark: A hundred percent. That was me in the library, which I'm, I, let's be honest, it's not where I'm most comfortable. But, but I, I, I'm fine with it. But again, it was not the perfect fit place for me. No knock on their thing. But anyway, I think, I've taught myself around circles now, but you get, you get the point. The best job is a good fit on both.

Stephanie Goss: Everybody is enjoying the image of you trying to be in a library every day and, and pull yourself in and rein it in.

Dr. Andy Roark: That, but now I think that's, I think it's a great metaphor. It really is. Like if I had to be in the library 40 hours a week, that would be hard for me and no shade on the library. It's just like, that's a little bit hard for me.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, and

Dr. Andy Roark: And trust me, let me tell you, it's a little bit hard on the library too.

Stephanie Goss: Yes, it is. And there's nothing wrong with with that and I think I think that's for me. It goes back to the same thing about the medicine piece of it. Like it's okay to say this is what I want to do when it comes to practicing medicine and so I think like from, it goes back to our headspace perspective, although I don't want to say that I told you so it's like thinking about it.

If this, if they weren't writing to us because they were in this scenario, they were writing to us because they're checking out the clinics in their area and they want to know things to look for. One of the things that I suggest to, to, to new grads and to, but especially to my team is you have a say in where you want to be because to your point, like you're going to spend 40 hours a week plus there.

And so know what, know what you want. It's like, it's like dating, you know, I've heard. I've heard so many horror stories from friends who are our age who have reentered the dating field and they're just like it's full of all of these awful people and this and and I will say like I, I feel like I love it because I know what I want and I put it out there like I know myself.

Hey, these are the things that I'm looking for. This is what I want. And I think it's the same way about work too. It's like, if you know what's important to you, you should put that out there. What are your non-negotiables? What are the things that are deal breakers for you? For me, and I'll give a great example.

For me, the first, the first non negotiable that I learned in veterinary medicine was that absolutely, once I left my first practice, I could not work in a practice that had paper charts, ever again. Once I went, once I went paperless, I just knew myself well enough to know. And that, so that became a question that I asked in the interview process.

Tell me about your record keeping processes. Tell me about your charts. What are they, you know, do you have paper? Do you have, do you have digital? If you have digital, what does that actually mean? Do you really have a ton of paper and then you're recording things afterwards or scanning them in, or are you actually truly paper light or paperless?

That was the first one I quickly also learned. That for me, a non-negotiable was only staff members, like we won't see patients, we won't have hospitalized patients that aren't current on their rabies vaccine because we had multiple pets who were there for optional treatment, like a dental who bit a team member and they were not current on their rabies vaccine.

And then I had to put team members through the prophylaxis, like that for me became a non negotiable. And so I would ask that in the interview process, like, can pets come in if they're not current on their rabies? What are those exceptions? Not because I was asking from a medical perspective because I believed that the medicine was right or wrong, but because for me on a personal level, that mattered to me and my comfort as a team member mattered to me and I found it okay to say.

I totally get that you don't want to require patients to have the rabies vaccine. Is this a deal breaker for myself? Because part of that interview process should be, it's just, it's just like, it's just like dating. I hate to put it that way, but like part of the question should be, what are your non negotiables?

What are those deal breakers for you? Because I want to know, I want to find those red flags so I can say thank you and it's not the right fit for me. Cause there's nothing wrong 

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, yeah, no, I think you're, I think you're spot on. I think that probably that's why it's so hard to take your first job. That's why I really always like to talk to vet students about it. Just because yeah, I think liken it back to a relationship after a while you kind of know what you're looking for But I remember being a young person who kind of had this deep insecurity of please just like me It's like what if what if no one likes me?

What if this is what it's like? What if this is? You're as good as it gets. And like, it's, it's just unsecured, but I think a lot of people have that, especially early on in your job, until you figure out, like, okay, this is, this is kind of what I'm worth, and this is kind of what I, you know, what I look for and what's important to me.

I think that's true. Okay, let's take a break here, and then we're gonna come back, and then we're gonna do action steps if you stick it out. Like, what can you do here? And again, this is, this is going to be doing the most with a bad situation. And so, yeah, but, but we'll go, we're gonna take a crack at it.

Stephanie Goss: Okay.

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Dr. Andy Roark: All right. So let's say that we have done this. We have had this talk. Let's say that this is the only vet clinic in town and we're tethered to town because I will tell you I wouldn't move away. I would, I would be willing to move away, but let's say we're not able to, let's say we're not able to what, what, what do we do here?

The biggest thing I would sort of say is okay, we're not gonna panic. Rome was not built in a day. We were not going to be able to turn this place around immediately. We can be proud of the relationship part of this business and lean into it. And that can be good. Okay, so let's start to try to talk about some change management when we're not the boss.

Stephanie Goss: Mmm- hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark: The first thing for me is figure out what's under your control and you can almost at least care for the patients that you see. Sorry, you can almost always at least care for the patients that you see. So the first thing is, all right, what control do I immediately have here? I'm wearing gloves. I'm going to put the gown on.

I'm going to use the pain control. Like, do I have that level of control? I hope that I do. Do, are there things that I don't know how to do? Then I'm going to go get some CE on those. There's on demand learning, I am going to, I'll go to some CE, I'm going to go ask for some CE, whatever I need. But, what can I immediately do?

And you say, but Andy, you're still out of practice. And I'll say, well, at least I've already said, I've already made it so, would I bring my pet to my practice? I would bring my pet to me at my practice. I would. And now when I can say, hey, why don't you come see me at the practice, I don't feel bad about that because I am going, you come and see me, and I will, I am going to do what's right. And the way that I see it. And so I immediately get out of the, ooh, I don't know if I bring my pet here. And so, again, it's a small thing, but it's a thing that I can immediately control. And you say, but I'm a new grad. I'm going to say, welcome to the grown up world. We're, like, you're going to have to, you're going to have to get on and get the education that you need, and I'm sorry.

But you can do that. There are lots of opportunities for education now that did not used to exist. And if you are worried about surgery, there's online training options, things like that. There are surgical wet labs. There are some really great opportunities out there to start getting that stuff. If you feel like that's what you need and you're not going to get it at your practice, my advice is take the bull by the horns and go and get what you need to make yourself into the doctor that you want to be.

There are people who became great doctors, not because they had a great mentor, but because they didn't have a great mentor and they went hard in the paint to make themselves what they needed to be. And you can do that. It takes courage and it takes some grit and it takes some resilience, but you can a hundred percent make that for yourself.

You just have to, you have to grit your teeth and you have to do it. And I said there are some great doctors out there who made themselves and you can do that too.

Stephanie Goss: And I think it's important to, speaking to the paraprofessional staff, I think it's important to recognize that there are things that are in your control, and it's easy to think I'm not the doctor, so I am powerless in this situation, and to your point about taking care of the patients in, in your hands, the patients that see you, I think it's not only acceptable, but I, I want to encourage all of the paraprofessional staff to look at it the same way. So, as a technician, I can't tell you how many times I worked with doctors who I truly believed were good doctors. Where we were doing something and getting ready for a procedure and they started to do something and I'm like hi, would you like me to give some some pre op, you know, some pre-op meds or would you like me to give?

And they're like, oh yeah, I didn't think about that. Yeah, please do that. And then come get me right. Like where it's not, it's not intentional. It just is. is the thing that happens. And so recognizing that you are in control of everything that you have the training to do. And it goes the same for the front desk.

Like you can control the service that the clients are getting. You can control the things that you, and it's in how you ask about it. And I can't tell you how many times my dumb curiosity, and some of it is I actually genuinely didn't know and some of it has been plain dumb how the dumb curiosity has solved what could have been big problems for me because I had the courage to ask the question Hey, are we gonna send home pain control with that patient?

Hey, are we putting this patient on antibiotics because they're also on an NSAID? I saw that when I was looking in their chart, right? Like it those are things that I can control even from the front desk. So stepping back and really doing some work on your part to think about what are the pieces of your job that you own?

And recognizing it's okay to ask and ask for what you need and advocate for yourself and say hey, I've noticed that you all are not wearing you know, gowns and surgical caps when you do this type of procedure. Can you tell me more about that? Because I was trained to, to always wear it and here's, here's why, and I would love to understand what, why you guys are doing what you're doing, right?

That can bring about the conversation. It's coming at it from a place of curiosity versus I'm not going to do surgery unless we're all fully gowned. That feels very antagonistic, and I think that that's very important. If you are going to stay and try and change things, I think it's very important to recognize that you are going to have to get them to meet in the middle. And you said in the very beginning, Andy, you worried that this was a huge gap to cover. And I think when the gap is huge is when it is most important to try and approach it from a place of curiosity and kindness and to recognize that a lot of baby steps can still ultimately get you to where you want to be just as quickly as making giant leaps across the space.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well that dovetails into number two for me. I think you're spot on and that's that's pick your battles Like I said Rome was not built in a day. We're not gonna roll in and start changing, you know, how we do emergencies and surgeries and hospitalized patients and fluid like we're not that stuff. We're not gonna do all that. Pick your battles, figure out what your one or two things are That you really want to work on, and then approach them, as you said, with curiosity.

I think that's really the, the right way to approach them is, Help, why do we, why do we do it this way? I'm, I'm new here. I haven't seen it done that way before. Talk to me about, about, about why we approach it this way. Help me understand. But I think that's a big thing. Think about what is most likely to get taken up.

I think that that's, again, in setting our priorities, I wish it could be, this is the most important thing. Well, there's a couple factors. Number one, what do you think is most likely to get people to buy into? And, and sometimes we take the things that we think are most likely to succeed, because if you can start making some changes and people are like, okay, this is good, then it sort of builds some momentum and you can maybe make some more changes.

What will make the biggest difference, and that's difference for you, difference for the patients, but what, what are the big things that make the biggest difference? What might get systematized across doctors and and happen when you're not in the building? Which means, what are the changes that we could get in a system level so that it's not just the things that, you know, we're not doing surgeries differently when I'm there.

They're getting done in a way that everyone who's doing surgery is doing them this way. And now we're really raising the standard across the patient. And again, you kind of have to look at those things and sort of say, all right, looking at all the things I want to change. Which ones are the hills that I'm, that I'm willing to die on, and then also which ones are people willing to take up, and which ones, you know, are going to extrapolate out across the practice.

And all those sorts of things those things all come into, into, into play, whether you're the doctor or the technician. One of the biggest things I try to teach to associate vets, just in general, the biggest, the biggest the most underrated superpower of associate veterinarian is positive reinforcement. It is amazing how much change you can make and how much you can guide your technician teams, not by correcting mistakes, but by praising and using positive reinforcement.

And that is identifying the behaviors that you like, the ones you want to see more of, clearly pointing out this is the behavior that you did. This is the situation. This is the behavior. This is why it was so great. Please keep that up or I just wanted to say thank you. And you can a hundred percent praise people and grow them in that direction.

It takes effort, which is why people don't do it all the time. You know, when I explain it to people, they go, this is so simple. Or if it's so simple, why didn't people do it? It's like, because it takes effort because you have to be willing to have the slightly awkward conversation saying, hey, can I talk to you real quick?

I just want to say I saw you do this and it was, it was really great. I just, I always really like working with you and I appreciate, I appreciate how much care you take with the patients in the treatment room. I just, I want to tell you that that was really great. And it takes, it just takes a moment to do it, but it takes intention.

And then you have to be willing to, to sort of shout people out. So those are, those are, those are big ones. And again, you can do it with peers as, as a, as a doctor, that's how you start to sort of turn the staff as you find them doing the things that you would like to see more of, and you just tell them again, not bad mouth in the practice, not like nobody else does this.

I see you wearing gloves when nobody else is. It's like, no, hey, it's obvious that you care a lot and you have attention to detail and you're paying attention to surgical sterility. And it's just something that I have noticed about you. And I just, I just want to say bravo. Like that was, I love that you do that.I'm always happy when I get to work with you. Thank you for that.

Stephanie Goss: Well, and I think that's 

Dr. Andy Roark: Then you can start to, you can start to turn, you can start to turn things and start to get a little revolution going. And again, I'm not turning against the hospital and I'm not going to be like, those other guys don't do this, but you do.

It's nope, I love this behavior, I, I really, I'm always glad when I get to work with you because you do these specific things. And that's how we start to build that. And then, and then the techs talk. They will say, oh, well, Dr. Roark really likes this. And they take pride in knowing what, what you like, and, and you can, you can make those things ripple out.

And again, you might not be able to get everybody on board, but you can at least start to control the area around yourself.

Stephanie Goss: Well, and I think that applies within the team to like, I don't think it has to be a doctor, you know, I think it's very, it's a very effective tool and it makes sense to speak to it from that doctor perspective. And I think if you're a part of the patient care team, this is where you're going to need friends because if you're going to try and change things, you cannot, you can, the change, you can impact change as a single person and people can enact change on a significantly faster level.

And so I think thinking about it from, how do I make some friends? How do I talk to the other assistant? It may be an assistant and not a technician, but how do I talk to the assistant about the fact that they, I saw them not pre opening or pre popping the syringes. Let me find out why. Why are they doing it differently?

What are they, you know, let me say, hey, I noticed you're doing this and I really like it. Tell me, tell me more about it. Cause I've seen other people who aren't doing it that way and I'm trying to understand, right. It's about recruiting people and making some friends because it takes, you know, the more momentum that you build, you're going to build it faster if you have more people trying to push that boulder up the hill.

Right? So looking at those things that you can control from whatever your position is in the hospital and recognizing that it can go, you know, Significantly faster in particular from the doctor to support staff level and you're gonna need friends in in the team and so finding those things and complimenting them to your point and not to be disingenuous like don't say if you don't actually believe it and it's going to have a big impact if you have some people who you can be like, hey I noticed that enough of us are doing this differently.

I'd really like to bring this up, you know, to Dr. Roark so that maybe we can talk about it at the next team meeting. How do you guys feel about that? then it's, then it's a group of us bringing it up and having a conversation instead of the one person saying, Hey, I disagree with how you're doing this and I would like to see us do it differently.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. I agree. And the last thing I'll sort of say, too, and this is a little bit, this is a little bit bold, but, if you're really tied to this area, and this is kind of what you're looking at again, as I, I don't know if this is a doctor or support staff, but I have loved owning my own business and sometimes necessity is the mother of invention. And if you, if you really don't like it and this is not going to work for you it can be a leap, but sometimes you have to go make your own thing. And the last thing I would say is, you know, if we got this practice and it sounds like it's you know, kind of making its way if, if it is independently owned if you're up for it mentioning to the current owners.

Hey, I was just curious. Do you have an exit plan? It is it's hard to sell practices sometimes and especially hard to sell to other veterinarians, but if you're like, I love the relationships that I love the way we treat our clients I would like to take this place to the next level. It's a bold move but but anyway, it's I, I always love, I love that type of stuff.

I like being my own boss. I like having a vision and seeing what things could be. And then and then take, you have to take the risk and the responsibility, but you, but you get the, you get to make what you want to make in the world. And that's just sort of my love level or my love letter to small business ownership.

Stephanie Goss: Well, and I think that that, I think that that doesn't solely speak to the doctor either because one of one of our Uncharted community members and, and one of our mutual closest friends Jenn Galvin is a Practice Manager. She's not a doctor. She's not you know, was not, she was an assistant, but not a licensed technician. Her practice she co owns with her partner, Erica, who is a DVM. They started their own practice because they weren't happy in the practice they were in with some of the medical things. And they were like, I would like to do this differently. Would you like to do this differently too? Hey, maybe we can do this differently together.

And so I think. Don't rule yourself out and don't sell yourself short. As a paraprofessional team member, you might very well be in a state where you can't be in honor of a practice as a non veterinarian. And that doesn't mean that you can't still get what you need out of it. I had one of my best technicians who was like, I'm really struggling with finding a practice where they practice this level.

They actually were a VTS in dentistry and were in a pretty rural area. And they were like, Hey, I'm going to go out and do like traveling relief and be a veterinary technician to go into practices. There were so many practices who were like, I don't need to have any input on this. Like, please do these, do these dentals for me.

And, and they were like, I'm so much happier because I get to control the pieces that I wanted. And yes, I have the travel, but I still get to stay in the area. I didn't have to move all of those things. So to your point, Andy, like sometimes it takes being creative and thinking outside of the box if you truly are tied to an area, but don't think that it's impossible just because you aren't a veterinarian too, I guess would be my, my love letter to the paraprofessional staff.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. I love it. Well, good deal. I think that's all I got.

Stephanie Goss: Okay. This was fun.

Dr. Andy Roark: I’m rooting for this person. I hope this I don't know, I don't know how it's going to turn out, but one way or another it's going to be okay.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, this was, this was an anonymous one because the vet world is, it's very small and to our anonymous writer, if you're listening, we would love to know how this turns out.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Well, there's, there's more, there's more people doing surgery without gloves than than you want to admit,

Stephanie Goss: Oh, yes, Yeah. Anyways have a great week, everybody. Take care.

Dr. Andy Roark: Thanks everybody.

Stephanie Goss: Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message.

You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com forward slash mailbag, or you can. Email us at podcast@unchartedvet.com. Take care everybody and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Vet Tech

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