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Practice ownership

Aug 16 2023

Lead to Thrive – The Science of Crafting a Positive Workplace with Josh Vaisman

The Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Episode 245 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, practice management geek Stephanie Goss is joined by a very special guest: former practice manager and author of the new AAHA press book Lead to Thrive – The Science of Crafting a Positive Veterinary Culture, Josh Vaisman, MAPPCP (PgD).

Josh believes all veterinary professionals deserve to feel fulfilled by their work each and every day. Through his company, Flourish Veterinary Consulting, he draws on over 20 years of veterinary experience, a master’s degree in applied Positive Psychology & Coaching Psychology, education in Positive Leadership and Positive Organizational Scholarship and a passion for guiding leaders to cultivate work environments in which people can thrive.

Fun fact – Josh is also an avid beekeeper who teaches beginning beekeepers how to tend to their buzzing buddies.

Josh and Stephanie are looking at Josh's new book through the lens of his practice management road and the journey he took to becoming a positive leader and force for good in our field. They discuss their own success and failures in an unflinchingly honest and vulnerable way. Let's get into this…

Buy Josh's New Book – Lead to Thrive here (AAHA MEMBERSHIP NOT REQUIRED TO BUY!)

Find Josh and his team here and here!

Links for resources shared by Josh during the episode

Adam Grant's website (including book links)

Martin Seligman's website (including book links)

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 245 – Lead To Thrive – The Science Of Crafting A Positive Workplace With Josh Vaisman

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to role play on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast. Head over to the mailbag and submit it here

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
Hey everybody! I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of The Uncharted Podcast. Today I am joined by a very special guest, my dear friend and colleague, Josh Vaisman. Josh is joining me to talk about his journey as a leader and how do we lead to thrive. He's got a new book out that has the title, coincidentally has the same name, and he and I are talking through the science of crafting a positive workplace. It ties directly to Josh's journey as leader. And I had so much fun talking through this journey that he has been on and just having a conversation with a dear friend. I would love for you to join me. And now let's get into this.

Speaker 2:
And now The Uncharted Podcast.

Stephanie Goss:
And we are back. It is me, myself, and I, Andy is on vacation this week; however, fear not, friends because I am so, so excited to bring a conversation to you with my friend Josh Vaisman, who is here joining me on the podcast today. Hi Josh.

Josh Vaisman:
Hey, Stephanie. I just want to say really quickly, I'm so sorry, but Andy is on vacation. It's like 105 degrees here in Colorado, and you're in a closet. Something doesn't seem right in the universe.

Stephanie Goss:
You hear that, Andy Roark? I think Josh is saying that I should be let out of the closet more often, although I do not want to be in 105 degree Denver weather either, because that's gross.

Josh Vaisman:
No, not fun, man. Not fun.

Stephanie Goss:
How are you, friend? I feel like I'm really excited to see your face and talk to you. And also I feel like my cup is still full because I just got to spend a whole bunch of time with you at AVMA recently, which was amazing.

Josh Vaisman:
It was amazing. I was literally going to say the same thing. I'm still seriously walking through life on a high from that event. Seeing you and just like all of the, gosh, there are so many really, really good human beings trying really hard to do really good things for the profession and getting to spend that much time with so many of them in one space, it's just such a heart filler. It was pretty awesome.

Stephanie Goss:
And you had extra special, amazing time at AVMA because, so for those who don't know, I am bringing Josh to you for so many reasons, least of which is that he's just an amazing human being. And if you don't know who Josh is, you need to check out the link to find him in the show notes because he's amazing in doing wonderful things in our profession, and he is smart, and he wrote a book and it is fantastic.
I am not all the way through yet. I started reading it on the plane on the way home from Denver, but Josh had his book launch party at AVMA and it was so fun because Josh knows all of the great human beings in veterinary medicine, and they were all in one room at AVMA to celebrate you. And it was so much fun to have the energy in that room and to see all of, like you said, the people who really care about making a positive difference in veterinary medicine, I feel like in one place.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, it was so awesome looking out on that room and seeing such amazing humans. Yeah, it was pretty cool, cool experience.

Stephanie Goss:
And there was lots of fun too because your team helped decorate with googly eyes all over the place, which was so fun.

Josh Vaisman:
Okay, so since we're in the business of outing here, I'm going to out one of the infamous Uncharted members, Dr. Sarah Wolfe, whose idea sparked a movement, #AVMAGooglyEyes. It was-

Stephanie Goss:
Is that really a thing? I have not seen that hashtag. Oh, I need to go down that rabbit hole now.

Josh Vaisman:
We definitely did it. We definitely did our best to represent the hashtag well throughout the conference.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. I love it so much because it's very Sarah, it's very Uncharted. We have our own several things. We have the Janelle Hutton challenge, where everybody tries to catch Andy in the background and point at him and their selfie without him noticing you. And so that is right on brand for us to have the googly eyes. This does not surprise me one bit that Sarah was involved in that.

Josh Vaisman:
Oh my god, it was so fun. It just made AVMA that much better.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, I'm going to have to go down that rabbit hole and view things on social media, but so you and I have known each other for a while and I want to make sure that our listeners who maybe they haven't heard of you or they didn't know that you have a book out, so let's start there. Tell us a little bit about you, your background in veterinary medicine, because really you are a positive, wonderful human being, and I know that you would be that way without veterinary medicine, but tell me how you got to where you are in vet med and how you got so excited about creating a positive culture, because that is really a drive for you.

Josh Vaisman:
Big time drive. Well, Stephanie, I'm a Pisces who enjoys leisurely walks and … Yeah, so I-

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my God, your microphone is going to make you sound so fantastic right there. I love it so much.

Josh Vaisman:
I sort of stumbled into veterinary medicine. I had moved to Colorado from Wisconsin actually in the late '90s, and I was working at a PetSmart in Boulder, Colorado. I was in the specialty department, so I was the guy that you saw about the fish.

Stephanie Goss:
Love it.

Josh Vaisman:
And we had a PetSmart Veterinary Services in our building, which is dating myself pretty well now. I got really intrigued by what they were doing over there. I sort of befriended the chief of staff and some of the team members and started to have these ideas that maybe I'd want to go to vet school someday. I like to think of it as the time in my life where I had a psychotic break. I have since been disabused of this troublesome mindset, but I thought if I'm going to go to vet school, I should probably know what it's like to work in a veterinary hospital. And I walked over there and I asked if I could volunteer on my days off, and they were like, no, we can't really do that, but we can hire you. Which was a surprise.
So I switched from PetSmart to PetSmart Veterinary Services and was trained as a technician assistant and worked there for a number of years, and that was in '98. So that's how I started in vet med. I just immediately fell in love with it. Obviously the animals part, we have a small menagerie of creatures in our home, and animals have been a central part of my life for as long as I can remember. But the truth is it was really the people that drew me in. The people that come to work in veterinary medicine are a special kind, and you can take that as a double entendre as far as you'd like, really some of the very best people.
Like that laugh that you just had is such a common thing in a veterinary space. And to be able to be that real and that raw and that joyful and that vulnerable and be around people who are like that is, oh God, it's just such a good feeling. And so it stuck with me, and I did that for quite a while. A few different hospitals all around Colorado, pretty much all small animal, most of it GP, a little bit of ER work. And then one day a hospital that I had worked at was sold to a veterinarian and a vet tech, and that was the first time that it occurred to me that you don't have to have DVM, or sorry, VMD after your name to own a veterinary hospital, at least in the state of Colorado.
This was like mid 2000s and I'm making maybe $9 an hour or 9.50 or something like that. And I walked into the doctor's office and I sat down next to one of the associates there and I was like, “I feel like we could do this. You want to buy a vet hospital with me?” And six months later we did that.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my God, shut up.

Josh Vaisman:
Yes. So myself and two veterinarians, I found a way to get us financing to buy a hospital that just purely coincidentally had gone up for sale publicly. It was through a brokerage, which was very uncommon in the Boulder market. It was at the time a one doctor practice that had been two to two and a half. It was kind of declining, and he was really ready to get out of ownership. And so we got in a banging deal and it was four miles from the practice that we had worked at.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, that's awesome.

Josh Vaisman:
So we had built in clientele. So we bought that practice, and over the next five plus years, we had a good bit of success. We took this hospital that was a one doctor practice, and when I left, there were four doctors on staff. We had tripled the revenue from when we bought it, all the standard metrics of success that people look at, and I felt like, “Gosh, I'm good at this. I like it. If I could do it once, I could probably do it 15 times. Maybe I should start trying to do that.” And so I ended up leaving that practice and going to another practice, bought that hospital along with a friend and business partner and a brand new startup group, so a corporate group that was just getting off the ground.
And so we all got together and bought this hospital. It was our first partnered acquisition. It was this corporate group's first acquisition, and they were raring to go to buy multiple hospitals. I got under the ground level with these guys. I thought, that's it. This is how the launch is going to start. This hospital, as I said, is about 75 miles from where I live here in Firestone, Colorado. I was going to be the managing partner of the practice and the onsite hospital director. So I started commuting to this practice 75 miles from my house every day. Hospital was open seven days a week, and I was often there-

Stephanie Goss:
Of course it was.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, of course.

Stephanie Goss:
You couldn't have picked a eight to five, four day a week GP practice.

Josh Vaisman:
Oh, gosh, no, no, no, definitely. No, no, no. We picked the seven day a week extended hours, sort of like pseudo defacto emergency facility in the area. And vastly underperforming financially and culturally a pretty big mess. So all of the, I'm using air quotes, “opportunities.”

Stephanie Goss:
The dumpster fire that was awaiting you.

Josh Vaisman:
The dumpster fire that was awaiting me. Now, keep in mind though, I was really excited. I thought this was an opportunity not just for a business venture, but really to make a difference in the lives of 40 people working there and in the community. And that's really what I got most excited about. So I dove in, I dove in headfirst, and I really tried to turn that place around as best I could.
Now, the first year that we owned the hospital, we did the highest gross that that practice had ever done in its 34-year history. So on one side of the coin, you could say, “Wow, it was a success.” What I've sort of come to realize is that success can be defined in a whole variety of ways, and the way that I'm defining it these days is very different than I defined it those days. Yeah, I just completely obliterated myself and some of that, at the time there was definitely a bit of the finger pointing and the blame game. I pointed fingers at my partners and I pointed fingers at the community and I pointed fingers at people on the team, the prior owner who stuck around and felt like he had to keep an eye on me, all that kind of stuff.
But the truth is that I really allowed myself to be in that a position where I started to create a mind story of what I thought people wanted, in particular my business partners who had invested so much time and energy and money into this venture and put me in charge of it. And I allowed myself to start making decisions that put what I thought were the values in that head story ahead of my own values. And what that ultimately resulted in was me harming people and harming myself in the name of the bottom line. And it worked for a while until it didn't.

Stephanie Goss:
As it does, yeah.

Josh Vaisman:
I completely broke down, like the ugly on the kitchen floor crying one morning, total breakdown for literally no apparent reason as I'm getting ready to get in my car and make the drive yet again. It took me a while to realize that I didn't have to be in that space. That was in March. I didn't actually leave that practice and that partnership for another six months.
But when I finally did, because I knew that I wasn't going to get healthy if I didn't separate myself from the environment that was contributing to it, when I finally did, I had a realization that business is a human endeavor and there is no such thing as business without people. And as the people go, so goes the business. And I had put the business ahead of the humans, and I was never going to do that again. And so at first I wasn't really sure if I was ever going to come back to vet med.

Stephanie Goss:
I totally can empathize with that and understand that because a hard space to be, and it's real easy to look outside of ourselves and be like, “This is a hot mess. Maybe I'll just go find a less hot mess place to live.”

Josh Vaisman:
Right. Maybe there's something that's, I don't know, let's go with warm and mildly disorganized. That would be an improvement. You say that and the sense that I get when you empathize with what I just shared, the sense that I get is that maybe you've been in a place like that before?

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. It's funny because as I'm listening to you tell your story and will save mine for another day. But yes, 100%. And I think so many people I've met in veterinary medicine have gone in some way, shape or form through what you're talking about and what you're describing. And your story is a familiar one because so many people, nobody gets into veterinary medicine for the money. Everybody is here for the patients, for the people both. You and I are very similar in that we're here for the people. And of course I love the animals and love the why of what we do to take care of the animals.
But for me it was always about the people as well. And recognizing in yourself, and I've talked about it on the podcast, it took me a lot of therapy to get to a healthy place where I stopped beating myself up for the times when I did make the mistakes and stop putting the humans before the business. I think that's something that's really easy to forget and for a myriad of reasons, least of which is “I'm intentionally.” I don't think I ever was the person that's like I'm putting money ahead of the people on my team, but there's always some reasons like well, I want to hire more people, so I want to make more money so that we can take care of more people.
And that is good intention, but when you focus on that to the exclusion of all else, it still puts the people behind. And so I a hundred percent know what you're talking about and have been there in that place where it's like I don't really like myself very much and what I'm doing here, and really it's funny because since doing the work that I get to do with Uncharted and the changes that have happened with my career in the last few years, I have so many people tell me, and I'm sure you do too, because you're a very positive person. I have a lot of people who are just like, “You're so good at what you do.” And I'm like, “I'm real bad at what I do. I think I'm just real good at being honest about it. Stop trying to put me on a pedestal when it comes to managing because I've screwed up just as many ways as I've done it right.”
And so for hearing you and recognizing that, it takes a lot to not just walk away and that is the piece that I feel the most because I was right there with you. Maybe I just really shouldn't be doing this. Maybe I just suck that much at this and I should go find … I had a career outside of vet med, before vet med, and do I leave altogether and go find something else that I can harm other people less and harm myself less doing? So that place on your kitchen floor, I feel that, Josh.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah. Gosh, thank you for sharing that with me. It's very validating to hear somebody with your level of success and where you stand in the community now, share that experience that mirrors a lot of what I went through. You said you started to question if maybe you're not that good at this and maybe I should go find something else to do. I distinctly recall saying to myself, “I don't belong here. I really don't. They don't want me.” Gosh, that one really hit me.
So I separated myself from all of that for a while and then it gave me the space to start exploring things, and that's when I really started taking a deep dive into, at first it was Shawn Achor's work, his book, The Happiness Advantage and some of that, and then that turned me on to Martin Seligman and Applied Positive Psychology, and I took a few Coursera courses on that put on by the University of Pennsylvania with him and Angela Duckworth and Karen Reivich and the titans of positive psychology, and it just kept ringing in my head, this is what we're missing.
This is what we need. I had this realization, I think this is going to resonate with you. You said it wasn't like you ever sat there and thought, “Okay, I'm going to make the people second. The money's …” But you never did that. You, I'm certain, have always had people's best intentions in mind as, I have come to realize, almost every single person in veterinary leadership that I have met over the last several years, and I've met a lot of people over the last several years. I can count on one hand the number of people that I can confidently say they don't have good intentions in veterinary medicine. Almost everybody is trying to do the very best they can each and every day with what they have to uplift, support, amplify, benefit the people around them. And no one's ever taught us how to do it.
No one ever taught me, I stumbled into it. Nobody ever taught you. Nobody teaches us. We learn all of these great technical skills, but nobody actually teaches us. How do we actually create an environment that allows people to not just survive, but actually thrive in and through the work that they do? No one ever taught us. And it felt to me like positive psychology had something special to share. I love it. And so that's been my mission ever since then. That's why we started Flourish Veterinary Consulting. That's why we do the work that we do through our organization. That's why I wrote the book is I really want to empower everybody in a leadership position, whether that's by title or in formal leadership.
You're the RVT who's worked in the hospital for 15 years and I don't ever want to be a manager, but everybody on the team comes to you. Guess what? You're a leader. You're an associate veterinarian who just graduated just past your board and is starting your first ever job. Guess what? You got a license. You're the tip of the healthcare sphere. You're a leader. Like anybody who's in that position, I want to make sure that they've got tangible evidence-based skills to create the kind of environment that actually allows people to be at their best. And hey, what do you know? Everything else gets better when that happens.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my gosh, I love it so much. And there's so much to unpack there, and this podcast could be like nine hours long. But so what I really want to do, I want everybody who's listening to go and buy your book and we'll drop that at the end where they can find it. Because like I said, I'm reading it and I sent you an email right after I started it because you guys, I think I got maybe a chapter and a half or two chapters in and I was so impressed because I could hear you, Josh, in my head, but I also loved that I was reading it and I have done a lot of work, but I will say I have read some of the authors that you were mentioning, but the positive psychology piece is definitely not my realm of education.
And when I was reading it, I didn't feel dumb and I felt like you were speaking my language and you were saying things that I could feel in any position in the practice and that it would resonate with. And so that's just one of the things that I have loved about it so far is that I feel like you can, whether I was in my CSR role and I could have picked up this book and read it, or I could be in the kennel and just wanting to learn more about working in a good environment and pick up this book and least of all be a practice owner or practice manager whose job it is to make sure that you believe in things like this.
I think it's a tool for everybody, but will you tell us a little bit about the basics of, because positive psychology is a phrase that is getting more attention in veterinary medicine, and I'm so glad that it is, and I also think that it's used very interchangeably with positive culture and those are two radically different things, and there's a lot of work and science behind the positive psychology. Will you break that down a little bit for us? Just on a really basic level, and I think that probably ties to maybe why you wanted to write the book in the first place.

Josh Vaisman:
So I like to talk about these kinds of concepts using metaphors, and so if we think of the lived experience of just being a human being as a garden, there are things that happen in a garden. Sometimes weeds show up. You could think of those as the challenges or the bad things in life, and sometimes the weeds get, they're pretty noxious and they take over and maybe the result in the garden really not doing well and it's suffering. That could be mental health issues, things of that nature. Traditional psychology has been very interested, not always, this is not ubiquitous, I want to be very clear about this. It's not everywhere all the time, but generally speaking, there's been a heavy focus traditionally in psychological research on weed management. What are the things that we can do to make sure that the weeds don't show up, that when they show up, we can nip them in the bud, that when they get real thick and bad, that we can alleviate those problems?

Stephanie Goss:
Know how to get rid of them.

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, eliminate them. That's an important part of keeping a garden. Anybody who has a garden knows that weed management is important. But let's assume that that's the only thing that you do in the garden. If the only thing we do is focus on weeds, first of all, probably not actually going to succeed. There's really no such thing as a garden that's a hundred percent absent of weeds a hundred percent of the time, and that's the truth for life. Life is hard. There are difficult things. We have this word in our lexicon called stressors for a reason because they're everywhere. Every single one of us faces stressors on a daily basis, so we're never going to get rid of all the weeds from the garden. But even if you could, let's just imagine we'll play a mental game here. We'll imagine that somebody comes up with that special spray that you spray in the garden, and never again are there weeds. Great. What's left? Dirt.
Part of gardening is also growing things. Positive psychology is interested in what are the things that we can grow in the garden? What are the nutrients we can add to them to make sure that they really thrive and flourish to their full potential, so that even in the presence of weeds, we're going to look at that garden and say, “Ah, that's a beautiful garden worth keeping.” It's the same thing with life. So positive psychology is very, very interested in what are the nutrients that add to a life worth living?

Stephanie Goss:
I love that metaphor so much because A, because I followed it and I feel not dumb and because it's midday and I've not had enough of my caffeine yet, and B, that speaks to my soul because what person, especially in a job like veterinary medicine where we genuinely get into it because we love what we do and we care about the patients, who wants a job that consists only of managing weeds? That job would suck. I don't want the job where all I'm doing is the thing, but to your point earlier, I think so many of us in leadership roles, we don't have that intention and the tools that we are given generally are focused on weed management and solely on weed management.
So most of us are not equipped to do more than look at that general psychology view of, “Okay, I know that if I have a discipline problem, these are the steps that I have to take to solve that problem.” We don't look beyond that. And that for me, in a management role in veterinary medicine, I like all the weird things that other people do. I love spreadsheets. I love all of the weird number crunching. Don't ask 4th grade Stephanie about that because I hated numbers as a kid.

Josh Vaisman:
Stephanie, I have to tell you this really quickly because Tess will not forgive me if I don't share it. Andy and I attended one of your talks at AVMA and on the slide you had, if I remember the wording, it was something along the lines of Airtable Nerd.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Josh Vaisman:
I told that to Tess and she lit up. Lit up, came alive.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it so much.

Josh Vaisman:
It's not just me.

Stephanie Goss:
No, I love spreadsheets. I love Airtable. I love all the nerdy organizational stuff and nothing devoured my soul faster than having to deal with the problem management all of the time. I got zero joy and satisfaction from that as a manager, and unfortunately I spent a lot of time doing that in veterinary medicine. To your point earlier, some of it was the circumstances of the hospital and growth and change and reaching for that bar and moving from one doctor to four and all of the normal growing pains, and I am self-aware enough and have done enough therapy to have this conversation honestly with you. A lot of it was my own making because I was just like this is the tool that I have been given and for a really long time, instead of going in search of more tools and instead of just saying, “Hey, nobody taught me how to do this, maybe I should learn.”
I was like, reach for the management tools and then go garden the hell out of that garden with the tools that I have. And unfortunately, they were the tools that were really just focused on eliminating the problems and not actually dealing with making the garden pretty and focusing on the culture and the people and that feel good thing, even though that was always my intention. I love people and I love talking to people and I love everybody being happy at work. And so of course I wanted to cultivate that, but it took me a really long time to get to the place where I understood that does not happen in a vacuum. You have to actually dedicate time and energy and resources to making that happen.
So it's one of the things that I'm really glad that you are shining a light on in veterinary medicine, because you can read a book and learn lots of things and you guys all should. I'm going to drop Josh's book link in the show notes because you mentioned some authors who I really, really enjoyed reading. And this is a thing you have to do and practice and live, and it has to be ongoing because you don't just get the beautiful garden without a ton of work.

Josh Vaisman:
100%. I totally agree.

Stephanie Goss:
Hey, friend, we have been talking a lot about how we have a bunch of new events coming in the back half of 2023 that are going to let our team share our experience that we have gleaned over the last few years working with hundreds of leaders across veterinary medicine in all kinds of different positions, from support staff to doctors to regional leaders. We have been putting together something big that is coming. I can't tell you all the details yet, but I promise you are not going to want to miss out on this big, big, big announcement that is coming soon, but not soon enough for me. So I want you to head over to uncharted vet.com/insight and sign up for the newsletter. That is the only way to make sure that you have the information as soon as it's ready to hit the presses. It is exciting and I cannot wait to share it with you.

Josh Vaisman:
I would like to validate something or at least attempt to validate something. When you talked about your experience as a manager who was sort of stuck in the cycle of weed management, you talked a bit about context, but you also talked about your own making and the tools that you had. I want to try and normalize that a bit for folks that are listening. I recognize the persona that I carry with me these days, and especially imbued in the work that I do. I can come across as the always positive, always happy person, and sometimes I also recognize that there's a danger in that and that people can sometimes feel like when you're around somebody like that, that you can't ever be anything but the same. And I really want to normalize, Stephanie, you're also … Andy's not here to argue with this, by the way.
You're also a normal human being and because you're a normal human being, you have some very normal psychological features that are literally hardwired into the physiology of your brain, and I use that word feature on purpose. I really want to hammer that home. These are features, they're not problems. One of those features is a negativity bias. And so of course when you're stuck in the stress of a management role, and you're carrying the weight of the context and environment and the bars that you're striving for, and things feel like they're on fire around you without any other tools, without any other support, without any other structure, we're all going to default to our normal brain features. And one of those features is, “What's wrong? How do I fix it?” That's where all of us go. I just want people who are listening to recognize that that doesn't make you bad or broken, that makes you normal.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it so much. You said it with a lot more education and clarity behind what you said than I would, but that's a lot of what I feel like I get to do on the podcast. That's one of the things that I love the most about just doing the work that I'm doing now is like, let's be real because we're all human and there are things that we all do are not great or that we wish were better. But the cool part is we get to choose and we get to be intentional about it, and that's one of the things that I love about you is recognizing that you're not advocating for toxic positivity.
You're not advocating for you've got to have a sunny outlook no matter what, you are looking at how do we acknowledge that the weeds live here too, and how do we try to have less weeds over time? And not even just an instant, but this is going to take time and work and effort and the ultimate goal would be to have less weeds. But the garden, it makes it unique, and that's one of the things I always thought it felt very zen to me to get into that headspace. Andy calls it when he has Buddhist moments, but for me it was very much like oh, just remind yourself it wouldn't be the same without them. Even the people who drive me crazy, our beautiful little messy group would not be the same without the drum major who just cannot keep beat. Sometimes you just have to roll with what you got.
That's one of the things that I love about your work and your approach, whether it's in the book or how you engage with people at events or lecturing or any of the consulting work that you do, just like looking at it from that perspective of I think there's this natural inclination in veterinary medicine in particular, to just go to one side of the extreme or the other. So if you are advocating for education around positive culture and positive psychology and focusing on some of these things, I think there's a lot of people who look at it and say, well, you have to do all of that to the exclusion of other things.
There's this feeling of if you're not all in and you're not making it all touchy-feely and everybody's not sitting in a circle and singing Kumbaya, then you're doing it wrong. And I can promise everyone, I may make people sing in my practice, but it never looked like sitting in a circle and singing Kumbaya. It looked like Boy Band Friday Dance Party in the treatment room and forcing my doctors to sing Backstreet Boys. That is a thing that has happened.
But I do think that people think we've got to be all touchy-feely, everybody's got to be all up in everybody else's business, and that's part of what I love that you break down so well in the book is like, no, no, people are people and you are going to be negative sometimes and you are going to have bias. And we have to look at that and acknowledge that and figure out okay, then what do we do with it? If we acknowledge that that's going to happen, how do we make it better in the future?

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, it's funny now I'm thinking we should have titled the book Lead to Thrive, the Science of Crafting a Human Culture.

Stephanie Goss:
I like that. I like that too. But I also like the focus specific on veterinary medicine, but I also love that so much of what you talk about is applicable to everybody inside and outside of veterinary medicine. I think we needed a little bit more in veterinary medicine right now, so we need a little love.

Josh Vaisman:
I don't disagree.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, so there's two big pieces that I want to talk about before we're done here. One has to do with the book. So there's a lot of education and science and study behind positive psychology as a whole, but in particular the work that you share in your book and in your work. And when I was thinking about it and I was talking with my coworker, Maria Pirita, who loves and adores you and is very jealous that I'm getting podcasts with you right now.

Josh Vaisman:
I love and adore her too. She's pretty amazing. Those of you out there who don't know Maria yet, you will and you'll be better for it.

Stephanie Goss:
The world is better for having Maria Pirita in it. But we were talking about it and she was just like, “I think one of the things that both of us were thinking about in getting into the book was why the science is important to positive psychology.” And there is a lot of, again, probably the same people in veterinary medicine who would look at it and be like, “It's too touchy feely” would probably be like, “There's no science behind it,” but there is a lot. And for me, where it really resonated when I was thinking about it was I've worked with practice owners who have looked at life and looked at their team and looked at the practice and gone, “I'm paying them really good wages.”
These are good practice owners, good people who care about the people who work for them. And they're like, “I am paying them really well. I am providing for them. They're getting benefits. Everybody gets breaks. Like I am busting my butt to take care of these people, and isn't that enough? Because I pay them well and I treat them well, shouldn't my responsibility end there? Why should I have to do more work to create a positive culture and a positive workplace?” And I think that there's science behind that and positive psychology that helps explain the why, and I would love your perspective on that.

Josh Vaisman:
Awesome. Thank you. It's so wonderful question. It's one of my favorite ones. I do do get it frequently. I will never forget the first large scale workshop that I was doing delivering this and 60 something people in the room for the day. And about halfway through as I had just gotten done, talking about the science of positive psychology, this gentleman raises his hand and he says, “You know, Josh, this is all fine and dandy, but it's not really my job to make people happy at work.” It was so awesome watching everybody else in the room perk up and watch to see how I would respond.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, so I'm not the first one.

Josh Vaisman:
You are not. No, no, but oh God, it's a good one. It's a good one. There's so many different tactics. If I'm feeling particularly cheeky, I'll respond to people and I'll say, “You're absolutely right. There is no federal mandate for you to make people happy at work. And how is that working out for you? Tell me about your turnover. Tell me about your productivity.” If I'm feeling a little bit snarky down that day, sassified.
The reality is I think you can actually, for those of us who take that sort of economic tilt, if you go to … I am not an economist by the way, so maybe Matt Soloy should follow me after this and he can tell you more about this. But if you look at traditional economics, traditional economics made the assumptions that human beings are rational creatures and that if A makes more sense than B rationally, then human beings will universally select A. And yet when you go out into the world, we see that people routinely make “bad decisions” for themselves when it comes to economic decisions. Why the heck is that? Well, we got some really great answers when people like Daniel Kahneman came around and showed us that actually human beings really aren't rational creatures. We're emotional creatures who have this unbelievable capacity to rationalize our decisions that are often steeped in emotions.
And that's a bit of an oversimplification, but the reality is that that's how we are. We are driven by psychological drives, by psychological needs, by these desires that we have that really sit more in our emotional centers. We've also evolved as part of our brain that allows us to think at a higher level and we can justify things and rationalize things, and yes, we can have moments where we make really, really good rational decisions. And yes, you're correct that it “should” be from a purely rational perspective. If I pay you to do a job, you will do the job to the T of what the job expectation is. And yet everywhere we look, that doesn't happen. So we can decide to be really annoyed by that and just complain and people should and wave our hands and probably just continue to have the same kinds of problems that we have now, or we can embrace the reality that human beings are psychological and emotional creatures.
And what we see consistently in the research is that when those psychological needs are met, people perform better. One of the ones that I've been using a lot lately, I'll put up a slide in a presentation and it just has the number 15 on it and I tell people, just remember this number. The next time you feel like, “Well, I pay people, well, they should.” A meta-analysis that was conducted 8 or 10 years ago, 92 studies looking at factors that predict job satisfaction, so job satisfaction is one of the best on the research side. It's one of the best antecedents we have to job performance, things like productivity, efficiency, turnover, all those kinds of things. People who are satisfied where they work tend to do better and stay longer. That's just the reality of the research. So what are the things that predict job satisfaction?
What this meta-analysis did was it tried to identify what is the correlation between compensation satisfaction and job satisfaction? So I am happy with how I'm compensated here, my salary, my benefits, so on and so forth, and I am happy to work here, which then predicts all these other outcomes. What they found in this 92 study meta-analysis was that compensation satisfaction accounts for about 15% of the variance in job satisfaction scores, 15%. Now, that's not zero. That's something. What we pay people matters. We have to pay people well, if we want them to be satisfied and do well, we got to pay them well for what they do. It should not be an excuse for us to underpay people, and it should also make us realize that while money matters, where we work matters more and the environment that we're in accounts for 85% of the variance in job satisfaction scores, at least according to this study.
So we've got to recognize that what we're inputting into that environment every day is going to influence the output we get from the people there. Outputs, patient care, number of new clients, average transactions, client turnover, team turnover, all of those things are lagging indicators of human input. What we put into that environment results in those things. So yes, pay people, pay them, well expect them to do a job for that pay and don't rely only on that because it only accounts for about 15%.

Stephanie Goss:
Which is absolutely crazy when you think about it just in general, that number blows my mind because I didn't expect it to be so low. Honestly, I expected it to be higher. But when you think about the conversation in veterinary medicine as a whole, as an industry, we've pretty exclusively, for a long time, focused on the money. And rightly so, because to your point, we were lagging very far behind. And so the conversation needed to be about money. And I think that there's a lot of people, and I don't think that it's a generational thing. I think the stick that everybody immediately reaches for is the older generation of veterinarians made it a generational thing, but I think that's total bull–. I think that there is this tendency to be like well, if we deal with the money part and then our work is done, we've done that part and why does it have to be the rest of it?
So I love that you shared that data so succinctly and smartly, that's only a tiny, tiny piece. The 85% is what we really need to focus on next. We've got to take care, hear me, because there will be people who listen to this and are like, “Stephanie says we don't have to worry about paying people.” That is not what I said. That is not what Josh said. You absolutely have to pay people and pay them well, and they cannot be worrying about where the next meal on their table at home comes from. If that is the case, the rest doesn't matter. And when we have taken care of those needs and we are compensating people, well, we have to return the rest of the focus on the culture piece and the other 85%.
What I love about that statistically and science-wise is that it leads right to the output, which I think you and I both knew as leaders in veterinary medicine, if you take care of the people and you practice good medicine, the numbers follow and that the proof is in the pudding there. Those numbers are going to rise or fall as they should when you take care of the people and you practice good medicine.

Josh Vaisman:
I like to think of money, compensation can be a really good recruitment tool. It's not necessarily a great retention tool unless your intention is indentured servitude. If you want people to feel the weight of golden handcuffs, then you could probably use money to keep people longer, but you're not going to get performance out of them if that's what you're after. There are other things. Is it okay if I share another piece of data?

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Go for it.

Josh Vaisman:
So last year we at Flourish got really interested in looking at what are some of the things that might contribute to that other 85%. We were in particular interested in retention, but we looked at a few other things as well. So we took basically the four pillars from the book from Lead to Thrive, and we built an assessment tool around it and then we put out a call to the veterinary community. So this was last fall, in 2022. We just said, “Hey, if you work in veterinary practice and you have a boss, we would like to hear about your experience with that boss.” Those were the qualifications. We got just under 600 people, veterinarians, technicians, CSRs, practice managers, small animal, large animal, mixed animal, general practice specialty.
There was a mix of everything, the whole gamut. And then we asked them to rate, does your boss do these positive leadership behaviors? The things that are laid out in the book, do they do these four things that contribute to psychological safety? Do they do these four things that contribute to purpose, to path to partnership, agree or disagree? That was it on a scale, seven point scale with four being neutral. We weren't asking them, “Do you have a good boss or a bad boss?” We just like, “Do they do these behaviors or not?” That's it.
Then we ask them things like, “Hey, how satisfied are you where you work? How often do you think of quitting your job? How often do you think of leaving the profession? What is your workplace wellbeing like these days?” Those kinds of things. And then we collected all this stuff and then we compared them. We looked for relationships. Now there's a couple interesting things. Number one, on our seven point scale, with four being a neutral, the average response for my leader does or doesn't do these things was 4.4, which is just a hair north of neutral. So it's not happening all the time.
However, it was a pretty even distribution. It was really interesting. So if we took out the neutrals, the people who averaged between three and a half and four and a half, we set them aside. Anybody who had over 4.5, we called them our high positive. So they're on some level agreeing that “Yes, my leader does these positive leadership behaviors.” And then anybody below 3.5, they're saying, “No, I disagree.”

Stephanie Goss:
Generally no.

Josh Vaisman:
“On some level, generally no, they don't do these things.” We looked at the relationship between those two groups and all those outcomes people who said, “My leaders do not practice these positive leadership behaviors,” the average response to how often do you think of quitting your job was often 4.2 out of 5.

Stephanie Goss:
4.2. That doesn't surprise me.

Josh Vaisman:
The people who said, “My leaders do do these things to some extent,” the average response to how often they think of quitting their job was rarely, 1.8 compared to 4.2. That's a 2.3x difference.

Stephanie Goss:
It's huge.

Josh Vaisman:
Yes, money matters. It absolutely matters. And if your goal is to keep people in your hospital and keep them engaged, this stuff matters more.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. Oh my gosh, my mind is boggling. And now I want to nerd out with you for another hour about numbers. The last thing I want to ask you about before we wrap it up is a fun question. So I would love to know what is one lesson that you wish that you had learned before you became a leader? Andy and I have been sharing some of our lessons lately, and we had so much fun. I'm like, “I'm going to ask Josh this question.”

Josh Vaisman:
I love that you're asking me this. So I was recently listening to the two part series that you did on those thoughts. Yeah, man, I don't know, because there's so many different ones. So one that I've been playing with a lot lately with some of the clients that we work with is this idea of that you can spend more time to save time, I guess is the way that I'm thinking of it. It's being very intentional in how we spend our time. Relationship development as a leader, it turns out that it's actually a pretty exceptional time saver. So I was really inspired by this originally. There's a researcher out of the University of Michigan Ross Business School, Dr. Kim Cameron. He is one of the founding members of the field of positive organizational scholarship, which you could think of as positive psychology on the organizational level.
In one of his books, he talks about these studies that were done on these very targeted one-on-one check-in meetings, essentially interviews between manager and direct report. And in one particular study showed some really, really impressive impacts on productivity, job satisfaction, and a reduction in turnover just by implementing these in a fairly well controlled study across a variety of organizations. The thing that really stood out to me though is that they interviewed the managers that had to do these. So this is how this program was done. Stephanie, you've got seven people on your team that directly report to you. Here's what we're going to do. You're going to sit down with each of them a minimum of once a month for one hour, one-on-one. So I'm asking you to add, quote unquote, add seven hours of additional work to your regular life as a manager. That can feel burdensome. A lot of people get turned off by that. You want me to do more? I hardly have time to do what I'm doing now.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, 100%. I can totally imagine the days where that would've been in the first thing that came out of my mouth. I don't have seven more hours in my month. What are you talking about?

Josh Vaisman:
You cray, buddy. You cray.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, exactly.

Josh Vaisman:
That's cute that you think I'm going to do that. So they had these managers do that, and then the ones that did it for the entire 18-month study, they asked them at the end of it how it impacted their ability to do their own work. So they had basically three options. Over the past 18 months, did you find you had less time to do all of your other managerial duties? Did it have zero impact on your ability to do your other managerial duties or did it actually open up time?
And to a T, they all said, “I had more time.” And the average response was, “I found I had an additional eight hours a month to do my work.” Because when we develop those kinds of relationships with the people on our team, when we show them that we actually care about them as human beings, when we help them develop, so we don't look at them as problems, we look at them as possibilities. When we show them how the work that they do matters and the impact and contribution that they're making and how that ties to the higher goals of the organization, and when we give people an opportunity to really express their perspective and voice and feel heard as if they belong somewhere, hey, guess what? They stopped knocking on our door. Because they're doing the work.

Stephanie Goss:
I love that that's the lesson that you shared. As a manager, I would've been happy if you had told me that it was a net-zero. If I just come out even, I would be happy because I would be getting to know my people and it wouldn't be costing me any more time. But how could you look at that? How could you hear that, see the data and not get all behind the idea of, “Look, if we take care of our people, if we grow them, if we develop them, this will come back to us tenfold.”
But where so many of us get caught up is the first reaction I had, which is the holy hell, where in the hell am I going to find seven more hours to spend with people once a month? But if you think about that, 18 months is a very short timeframe in the lifespan in veterinary medicine, and I could do anything for a year and a half, this is not that hard. I love that so much. You did not disappoint with that answer, Josh.

Josh Vaisman:
Thank you. Thank you. I tell you, for me personally in the role that I play now at Flourish with our team, it's been life-changing to have those things. It's just on the schedule all the time. We meet routinely to talk about these kinds of things, and it's all about supporting them and helping them excel in their roles. And I can honestly tell you that I feel three times as productive as a human being now than I ever did as a hospital owner and practice manager.

Stephanie Goss:
We should do a podcast about that. Let me learn your Yoda master ways. I have a feeling that lots of people would like to hear about that. So I want everybody to immediately run out and buy the book because it's amazing and you are wonderful. But where can people find you on the interwebs to connect with you and to find the book?

Josh Vaisman:
Yeah, absolutely. So you can find Flourish at our website, which is just flourish.vet, F-L-O-U-R-I-S-H dot V-E-T. I am pretty active on LinkedIn, so you can find me and Flourish on LinkedIn. We're on Facebook and Instagram as well, and at most of your neighborhood lead conferences.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it so much. And the book is an AAHA Press book. So I have to head over to AAHA's website, but I don't have to be an AAHA member to buy it.

Josh Vaisman:
Correct.

Stephanie Goss:
Fun fact, Stephanie is not currently an AAHA member and I was able to buy it.

Josh Vaisman:
Me neither. And I wrote a book for them.

Stephanie Goss:
At the non-AAHA member price. But you can head over to AAHA's website to purchase the book. Josh, this has been an absolute delight. Thank you so much for joining me today, and I will hope that Andy doesn't listen and say you were a wonderful stand-in and you are welcome to sit in Andy's chair on the podcast anytime.

Josh Vaisman:
I'm not going to lie, Stephanie, talking to you is an absolute highlight for me. You're so genuinely curious. You are hilarious. You bring levity, but you have this unreal ability to do serious things without taking it too seriously. It really fills my cup, so thank you for bringing me on. It's been a joy.

Stephanie Goss:
Thank you. You guys can't see me, but I'm tomato red now. Thank you, Josh, from the bottom of my heart, I really have enjoyed having you here. And Andy's going to be jealous now because he's going to be like, “Goddamn it, Josh is trying to take my spot.” But you are welcome back as a co-host anytime.

Josh Vaisman:
The plan is working.

Stephanie Goss:
Till my thoughts take over the world. It'll be like Pinky in the Brain over here. I love it. Take care everybody. Have a fantastic rest of the week and go check out Josh's book.

Josh Vaisman:
Thanks everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, everybody that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. Thanks so much for spending your time with us. We truly enjoy spending part of our week with you. As always, Andy and I enjoyed getting into this topic. I have a tiny little favor to ask; actually, two of them. One is if you can go to wherever you source your podcast from and hit the review button and leave us a review, we love hearing your feedback and knowing what you think of the podcast. And number two, if you haven't already, hit the subscribe button. Thanks so much for listening, guys. We'll see you soon.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Practice ownership

Aug 09 2023

Discounting for Friends and Family – Will It Piss the Team Off?

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Episode 244 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management geek Stephanie Goss dive into a mailbag question from a new practice owner who is thinking ahead! They want to take care of their team and set up great employee discounts. And they want to help take care of the pets belonging to their friends and family who helped get them to where their dream of practice ownership is finally a reality. How does that mix with their plans for their team? We'll find out – Let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 244 – Discounting For Friends And Family – Will It Piss The Team Off?

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to role play on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast. Head over to the mailbag and submit it here

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
How many times have you called a client in the last three days, left a voicemail, and then had somebody call back and say, “I had a missed call from you,” not even having listened to the voicemail. Look, the data shows clients want texting. They want online and digital communication. So if your practice does not offer texting two-way with your clients, you are missing out in a big way. And you're also in luck because our friends at Simple Texting have done the research, that one in three clients check their text notifications within a minute of receiving a text, one in three. And that goes up to 85% of all of our clients within the first five minutes after receiving a text. So if you're listening to this and your practice isn't yet texting two-way with your clients, you are missing out in a big way.
And I don't want you to miss out anymore, and neither does Andy. So our friends at Simple Texting have put together a deal for you, our Uncharted listeners. That's right. They have got texting plans that you can try for free for 14 days, but if you go to simpletexting.com/uncharted, they are going to give you up to $100 worth of free credits when you sign up for texting for your clinic. There is no reason, none whatsoever today to not be texting with your clients. So if this is you, head over to simpletexting.com/uncharted, get your deal, check out all of the amazing options.
Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I are diving back in the mailbag. We got a great letter from an ambitious startup owner who doesn't want to break the bank or employee relationships. They're asking some questions about discounting for their team while also taking care of the friends and family who help support them and get them to the place where their dream is becoming a reality as a new practice owner. This was a really fun episode for Andy and I to talk through. We hope you enjoy it. Let's get into this.

Audio recording:
And now, the Uncharted Podcast.

Andy Roark:
And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie, I've got friends in low places, Goss.

Stephanie Goss:
Now sing it for me please.

Andy Roark:
I've got friends in low places.

Stephanie Goss:
You are no Garth, my friend.

Andy Roark:
No, I know. I have never claimed that I could sing. I can't carry a tune in a bucket.

Stephanie Goss:
But I appreciate that attempt.

Andy Roark:
It's bad.

Stephanie Goss:
I appreciate that attempt. How is it going, Andy Roark?

Andy Roark:
Oh, it's good. It's really good. Things are rolling along here. I'm hanging out here petting my doodle with a self-confidence problem. I was doing…

Stephanie Goss:
Stop it.

Andy Roark:
No. It's worse. It's worse. I was doing my other podcast, Cone of Shame, with the vet behaviorist, Lisa Radosta, who is amazing. She's amazing. And I should have just hit record. I think I'll probably go back. I think I'll probably get her back on. I did that thing where like, “Oh hey, while you're here, I got this dog.”

Stephanie Goss:
You were that client.

Andy Roark:
I got this dog. I was. I was like, “Hey, will you come do a podcast while you're here? Look, can you look at this?” I was like, “I got this dog and he piddles on the floor. If I come home and go to pet him or greet him, every now and then, he will pee on the floor and he's four years old.” And she started talking to me about urination like that and asking me about, “How does he look? What does he do with his ears? What does he do with his head,” all these sorts of things. And she was like, “Yeah, this is a conflict sort of response. And so he's got anxiety around meeting people or people reaching out and petting him and things like that,” and I was like, “Okay, well, what do we do about it?” And she's like, “Well, he has low confidence, Andy. You have to get his confidence up.” So now, I reported all of this dutifully and now I'll be like, “He's a bad dog.” And my wife is like, “You're going to hurt his confidence. Don't.”

Stephanie Goss:
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. So not only do you have a doodle.

Andy Roark:
I have a doodle with confidence issues. That's what I have. That moment of silence was just Stephanie just shaking.

Stephanie Goss:
I'm dying. This is priceless.

Andy Roark:
Now I sit with him, we do affirmations. I'm like, “You're a good boy, you're a handsome boy, you're a smart boy.”

Stephanie Goss:
Boosting his confidence.

Andy Roark:
People like you.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh.

Andy Roark:
So yeah, I'm working on Skipper Roark's confidence.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, Skipper, Skipper. I can't even say anything with a straight face. Skipper has got confidence issues. The only thing that Skipper is confident about is his ability to go pee in the neighbor's yard, right where the sign says, “Don't pee on my lawn.”

Andy Roark:
Yeah. He's confident that he wants to poop in the no pooping yard. He's very confident about that, but no, the whole time, I thought he was bad. It turns out he is just insecure. It's a lot like…

Stephanie Goss:
He's also bad because let's be clear.

Andy Roark:
Yeah. Well, it's like the high school boy where people are like, “Oh, that guy is a jerk.” It's like, “No, he's just got self-confidence issues.” And that's Skipper. He 100% went into my wife's purse and chewed up her migraine medicine.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, no.

Andy Roark:
And she was like, “Why would he do that?” I was like, “Leave him alone. He's got confidence problems.” All right. That's enough. That's enough. We should respect his privacy. Yeah. We should respect his privacy and move on.

Stephanie Goss:
Bad dog. Okay. Fair. Well, I'm excited. We've got a question from the mailbag today. And I was thinking back and I don't think we've actually tackled anything like this topic before, so I'm kind of excited about this. We've got a letter from a new practice owner and they are getting ready to open their practice here at any moment now, which is just big congratulations right off the bat because that's awesome. And they said, “Well, I have a question about discounting,” which I love that they're asking questions before they start doing things.

Andy Roark:
That's super smart. Because once you start, you're in it.

Stephanie Goss:
Exactly.

Andy Roark:
Once you start doing anything with your family, it's hard to be like, “Yeah, I'm not doing that for you anymore.” That is challenging. All right. So go ahead.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes. So they were like, “I want to set up a discount that takes care of my team because I care about them and I want to take care of them. And my friends and my family have really supported me through this whole endeavor. They supported me through school and being in practice. Now, I'm opening my own practice and my love language is gifts and acts of service. And so for me, the ultimate would be to pay back my friends and family and take care of them and take care of their pets as a thank you. My parents, my in-laws, I want to say thank you for supporting me on this journey and take care of their pets.” And so they're a kind and generous person. And so they're just like, “I want to do that.”
And they're thinking with a business head and they're like, “If I take a step back, I want to make sure that I'm maintaining fairness and avoiding creating disparities within the clinic because I don't want to give things away to my friends or my family for free that I'm not willing to give to my team and I need to make this a fair situation.”
And so they were like, “How can I approach the idea of friends and family discounts without compromising the fairness and integrity to my team and the discounts that they're going to get and the clinic policies that ultimately I'm going to set.” And was signed from an ambitious owner who does not want to break the bank or employee relations, which I absolutely love. And so I need us to start with giving this practice owner or this new practice owner big giant kudos for asking the questions because they are great.

Andy Roark:
It's always good to try to figure it out before you get into the moment, before you make it a pattern. Right? A lot of times with practice ownership, we have to figure out, we have to get there before we can start to make policies. I see a lot of people who spend a lot of time making policies for things that will never happen or they'll make big plans about what will happen if this thing, and then it never comes together. But anyway, in this case, knowing that we have friends and family who are around, I think it's good to think this through so you're not just making it up on the fly.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. Totally.

Andy Roark:
I have thoughts. The frustrating answer to this question, it's very, very simple. It depends. It wildly depends. Thanks for tuning in everybody. That's our episode. No, it wildly depends. It depends on how does your staff feel about their compensation package, right? Are they struggling to pay for services? Because if they're struggling to pay for services and you're no charging your friends, if they struggle to pay for services for their own pet, or if they're living hand to mouth and they feel like, “Oh man, this is hard to make ends meet,” and then you are giving stuff away to your buddies, they're not going to feel good about that. Or do they feel okay, or do they feel like, “Okay, I understand they're family. I would want to treat my family like that and gives the family the staff discount. I'm okay with that.” A lot of it depends. It depends on how many people are we talking here? Friends and family, what is that, one person a day? Is that one person a week? Is that one person a month? What is that?
I've seen practices. We've gotten letters. You and I have gotten letters from practices where there's an extended family and they're just rolling in all day long, going in and out and getting what they want. And so, how many people are we talking about here? Is this a revolving door of people getting discounts and breaks or is it your two best friends and your brother? Okay. Those are just different things. How do your friends and family act when they come in? How do they treat the staff? We've gotten letters about that where the family rolls in like they own the place. Basically, they don't have appointments. They walk in whenever they want. They don't listen to the texts. They dismiss them. They walk right back into the treatment room with their pet and just the staff feels wholly disrespected by these people who are coming in. And just, man, that's toxic. That's really toxic.
And I totally, I empathize with those letters when we got them. It's like, “Oh man, that's not okay.” And so all of those things really, really matter as far as, what are we talking about here? And again, I don't think anybody would think too much if you have a couple of people who come in every now and then and they're your family or close friends and you take care of those people. It's probably not a big deal, but I've 100% seen it become a big deal. It really depends on how you're doing it. And like I said, it depends a lot on how the staff feels, how they get treated, things like that. All that stuff matters. And the last part is, fair is where pigs win ribbons, there is no… What?

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my gosh. I'd never heard that. And that is the most southern thing that I've heard you say in so long.

Andy Roark:
You haven't heard that? Oh, fair is where pigs win ribbons. It is. So here's the thing, right? If I took a big group of people and I said to them, “Is the electoral college a fair way to do elections?” They would not agree.

Stephanie Goss:
Right.

Andy Roark:
And you would never convince all of them yes or no, but they would never agree. I was just trying to pick a thing that in our country, some people are like, “Nope, not fair.” And some people are like, “It is the most fair way.” And there's not a right answer. I don't know. Is it fair or not? It depends on who you are. It depends on what you're trying to do. It's the point of debate, but that's the whole point.
And so some people would say, “Sure, it's fair that this person's family doesn't have to pay for services or gets a big discount.” And other people would say, “It's not fair when we don't get the salaries that we need because this person's giving things away.” And again, people just depending on their worldview, you can have the same team and they could be split down the middle about what's fair and what's not. There's not a, “This is fair. Everyone's going to see it. They're all going to agree that it's fair.” And that will be the decided upon state of being is yes, fairness.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, because fairness is subjective. Right? And so, I think there's two pieces. You're spot on. The fairness is subjective and what one person views as fair may not be viewed the same way as another person in the situation or outside of the situation. So we're totally looking at fairness through the lenses of our own lives and our own experience. So that's number one. And so if fairness is super, super subjective, then there's two other pieces from a head space perspective that are really important for me. Number one is clear is kind. And so fairness is going to be subjective. And so the only way out of this that is positive all around as a practice owner for the team, for friends and family, is to make sure that you are very clear because that is going to be the most kind to everybody. So everybody knows what's happening, everything gets communicated very clearly. Clarity is your friend here.
And the third piece of it that I think is really, really important is that recognizing that what you do today and how you are clear and equity that you put into place today is going to change, may change as you go. Because you are about to open your practice and what works today about to open your practice may be something completely different that works for you six months from now, six years from now. Your practice is going to grow and change and evolve. And so the other piece of head space is don't think about this. I'm going to set a policy for my hospital that is going to be the policy on discounting until the end of time. That's the wrong way to look at it, in my opinion. Think about it as what am I going to do right now and for the foreseeable future, and when am I going to reevaluate? Because that will help you with that clarity for yourself and for your team.

Andy Roark:
I like that. I would also say, it's much easier to loosen up later on than it is to tighten it back down. And so I think that if I would start with a conservative policy, especially as you open. You're like, “We just opened up.” You know what I mean? I'll say something that may come off as… I don't know, it may be contrary or whatever, but I'm not particularly excited about having my friends as clients. And there's a lot of people who just would disagree with me. And you hear that and go, “Oh my God.” But the truth is, I like to be a vet, and then I like my friends to be my friends. If somebody would not come to me as a veterinarian if they didn't get a discount, then I don't really want them to come to me as a veterinarian anyway.
And I don't really personally, I'll just say, I've been doing this for a good amount of time now, I don't really like the veterinarian relationship woven into my friendship relationship. I don't like when I'm suddenly the service provider to my friend who's unhappy with something. You know what I mean? There's an awkwardness there that I don't really like.
And I guess it's one thing if you need the money or you're trying to get something up and going and things like that, and your friends can be your best clients. They can be. They can also be your worst clients and they can also make friend gatherings awkward when you're like, “Yeah, and I heard that medial patella luxation surgery didn't go the way I wanted. And I know that every time you see me, you think about it.” That's odd. There's just a little bit of awkwardness there too.
I'm not saying that other people, you shouldn't do vet work for your friends. I'm not saying that. But I am saying, I don't race out and say to people, “You should come and see me.” In fact, I generally don't. I generally don't. I like to keep my friends and my business separate as much as I can, but that's just kind of always how I've sort of done it. I'm happy with my neighbors to come and see me, that's fine, but that's the level of relationship that we have. And so anyway, I'm not trying to set a rule here or anything at all. And maybe no one else feels that way, but I do.

Stephanie Goss:
No, I think that it's good that you bring it up because I think that it is regardless there's going to need to be some boundaries, right? And I think I'm glad that you brought it up because most of the time, you and I see the opposite end of the spectrum. What you were talking about where there isn't as many boundaries and where the rules are not the same for friends or family as they are for the team and other clients. And that's where it gets people into trouble. And so thinking about it on the spot here as we're talking about this, every single practice that I have ever worked in, there has been a friend or family member. There is someone who gets the discounts, but who is not our client. They don't follow the rules, they don't do any of the things that we make everybody else do. They are the exemption. And in every single situation, boy, did it piss people off, the team-

Andy Roark:
The staff gets really upset.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. And because whether it was they could just come in and take meds off the shelf like you were saying, or they didn't ever follow any of the rules. I remember vividly getting into it with the team because we had a rule in our clinic about, we wouldn't see patients and do procedures on patients that didn't have a current rabies vaccination, unless there was a valid medical reason. And yet, we had that one best friend of the practice owner who was just like, “I don't want my old dog to get vaccines.” And it was like, “Oh, they don't need to get it.” And the team was like, “Well, we would make any other client get a rabies vaccine if they were going to have a dental, but we're not going to make them.” And so I do think that it is important to recognize that as a whole. It tends to go in the negative direction a lot more than it does in the positive direction. And so I think-

Andy Roark:
I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to push back on you here. I don't know. I don't know if it really does because here's the thing, everybody remembers that client you were just talking about. You know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss:
Sure. Yeah, yeah.

Andy Roark:
But there may have been seven other clients that were friends and they just come in, they're respectful, they're nice. No one really pays that much attention. You know what I mean? They just get their little discount. They thank the front desk and they walk out and no one thinks twice about it. But it's that one and everybody remembers it. But that was sort of my point about, it really depends is because you could have a bunch of friends and family, and they're respectful, and they're blah, blah blah, and the staff is fine with this. Or you could have one and that person walks in the back and takes meds off the shelf and things like that, and they're like, “This is a nightmare.” Really, it's that big of variation.
And so it's really hard to set. It's really hard to set any sort of rule. I would never be like, “You can have five people.” It depends on the five people and how they behave and how the staff feels and all those things. But anyway, to your point, it's about, does it always go that bad? I don't know. Or do we just remember the ones that went bad and do they really stand out? I don't know. I don't know.

Stephanie Goss:
That's fair. That's fair. Because you're right in that for each one of those bads, I can think about goods in those same practice who were the regular clients who followed the rules, and they got their 5% off and it was totally fine. So I think that's a super fair point. And I think where I was trying to go with it was that there is the potential for that to be what the team remembers, is that one client because that does stick out really easily in our head. Right? And so I think from the practice owner's perspective, when you think about head space and getting into a head space to tackle what are you going to do and how are you going to do it, remembering that clear is kind and that fairness is going to be subjective.
And that your team, you are going to have to have the conversation and you might have the conversation today, you might have it six months from now, but what you decide today may not be the same. And I would agree with you, especially when it comes to friends and family, because friends and family is where just I feel like as humans, a lot of us struggle with boundaries more than anything, but it's pretty easy to have boundaries with a total stranger for the most part. This is our policy, take it or leave it. It's a lot harder to have those same boundaries with friends and family.
And so if you start wide and say, “I love you, thank you so much for making this happen. Come in. I'm not going to charge you for any of this care that your pet is going to need today,” if you start down that path, it is a lot harder to take that away and be like, “Oh, well, now the clinic's making money and so now I'm going to have to charge you.” That is a hard path to walk. So I think your point there is super important to think beyond just today and think about that long-term perspective and know that you can always give them an extra something down the road, but it's really hard to take it away once you've gotten something started.

Andy Roark:
This is not about friends and family. This is just my thoughts on discounting in general. And I talk about this all the time. I believe in intentional discounting, meaning not just willy-nilly giving stuff away. That is the path to ruin. I see it all the time. Just the person walks in, you're like, “I don't charge them for that” or “Let's just take that offer. I don't know. They already paid for a bunch of stuff, let's just not charge them for this.” That kind of willy-nilly, however, I feel discounting is that is bad, is bad for the business.
Here's the other thing too. The research shows that it doesn't make you happy when you just willy-nilly give things away. If you decide these are the people that I'm going to help or this is how I'm going to help, these are the mechanisms I'm going to help, this is a program we're going to place, the research says, you'll be more proud of that. You will know that you were doing it. You will be able to look back and you're like, “How did I help people?” And you will know, “I did this thing, I had this program, I gave this time,” whatever, but you intentionally decided, “I was going to help these people.”
And you know that your money, or your time, or your services or whatever are going through something that you decided was good to do. And so you can intentionally discount. You can budget that. Everything feels more in control. The staff understands why we're doing what we're doing. All of those things are important. So there's intentional discounting, but I would even step back further than that. And so my first thought here is, let's just do a quick, just a real quick truthfulness check. When we say, I want to do this because my love language is gifts, are we doing this because you have decided that these are people you want to give back to? Or are we doing this because you think that people will like you if you give them free stuff? Are you doing this because your value as a person is influenced by your generosity to your friends and family?
And again, I don't know this person at all, but I have seen a lot of people who were making choices about discounting because they want to be popular or because they didn't want to make anybody upset or they wanted to get along. And so my real thought is, again, I don't think that much about family, but friends and stuff. And so I go, okay, the first part of intentional discounting is, why do I want to support this person, and just decide. And again, I'm not saying right or wrong or anything, but it should not be this person smiles when I see them, and so I'm going to not charge them what I charge other people who I don't know. That doesn't make any sense. That's not fair. It's not fair and it doesn't really help anybody in a significant way or anything like that. And so I would start with, why are we doing this? And then I would move on into sort of more specific to what the program looks like.

Stephanie Goss:
And I think I'm glad that you said that because from the letter that we got, I don't get that that is the sense of where this person is at. They had clear examples of like, “My in-laws and my parents or the people who really supported me on this journey.” And so I can clearly see they do care and it is an act of service and a love language to gift them. You've supported me and now I want to pay you back and take care of your pets. So you can totally see that. And to your point, I can also see that same person struggling down the road with like, “Oh, well this is somebody that I care about now. Do I give them the same discount?” The same situation is not in play. I didn't just open my practice. Now I've been open for a year and a half, but this person, now I have a new sister-in-law, now I have new brother-in-law. Am I just going to extend them the same discount because they're my in-laws? And my other in-laws got this discount when we first started. And so now I'm going to…
I'm glad that you said that because I do think that from that big picture perspective, taking the step back and looking at, why are you doing it, who are you trying to serve, and why are you trying to serve them is really, is a good, clear head space to start because I think that there will be questions at some point down the road whether it comes from yourself, whether the questions come from your team, or whether it comes from friends and family who are maybe hitting you up for a discount. I've absolutely had people be… But I'm like, “Don't your friends get a discount?” No, I have to answer that question as a team member or as a practice owner. And so that may not be the situation today, but at some point in the future, that will be a question that you come up against. And so figuring out why you're doing what you're doing is a really important piece of the head space. So I'm glad you said that.

Andy Roark:
Yeah. That's important to me, is just to get my head around, “What are we doing here?” As opposed to just, “I'm giving money away because it feels good.”

Stephanie Goss:
Totally. Anything else for you from a head space perspective?

Andy Roark:
Well, one more thing. I was going to put in the action stuff, but I'll put it here as well. And this goes back to about my friends as clients and stuff like that. I just tell you, this is just personal head space from me. I'm not going to tell anybody else how to think about it or whatever, but I personally like to separate myself from my job. I go in and I do the vet stuff and I like it, but I want to be Andy when I'm not at the vet clinic and not Dr. Andy, just Andy. And so I do think a lot about that.
The last thing that I would say here is if you see what I'm saying and you're like, “You know what? I also have some concerns about kind of weaving my practice life into my personal life.” And again, this is different from your family because you want to help your family out and I get it. You can give and be generous in different ways. Just because you're a veterinarian and you own a practice, that does not mean that's how you have to give to your friends. It just doesn't. There's other things that you can give in other ways.
And so does it make you a lesser person if you charge someone full price at your vet clinic, and then come and help them move a couch up their stairs when they need it? I don't know that it does. You know what I mean? Is it if you host the neighborhood Christmas party, do you need to give everyone in the neighborhood a discount at your vet clinic? You know what I mean? It's not the same. And so when you start thinking about head space, I would say, just don't fall in the trap of, I am a veterinarian or I own a vet clinic and so gifts from me must necessitate professional services. You can give professional services away to no one and also be a very generous person.

Stephanie Goss:
Right. Yep. I love that so, so much. I'm glad that you said that.

Andy Roark:
Cool. Let's take a little break and we'll come back and try to get into some action steps here, how we set this up.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay.
Did you know that we offer workshops for our uncharted members and for our non-members? So if you're listening to today's podcast and you are not a member of Uncharted yet, you should be, but this is not a conversation about joining Uncharted. This is a conversation about all of the amazing content that we have coming at all of you, whether or not you're a member through our workshop series. You should head over to the website at unchartedvet.com/events and check out what is coming. We have got an amazing lineup on the regular. We've got something every month, sometimes two or three things in a month coming at you to expand your brain, to talk about leadership, to talk about practice management, and dive into the kind of topics that Andy and I talk about on the podcast every week.
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Andy Roark:
All right. So I think for action steps, I think we should start with intentional action, figure out what you're going to do. Again, here's where I'm going to throw a wrench into the work for a lot of people and say, “I'm still, I'm going to beat this drum.” I'm not convinced that you have to have a program at your practice where people come in and they just get a discount. I think you should think about who you're trying to help and how you're trying to help them. I would be personally, again, it depends on how big your family is, what you're trying to do, things like that. I would be much more open to the idea of trying to figure out how to do, I don't know, a separate program to help out my friends and family.
Maybe I take one Saturday every couple of months and say, “Guys, I'm doing vaccines over at the house. If you guys want to come over on Saturday, I've got the cloud pin software pulled up, but I'll bring you guys in. I'll do this. I won't have any of my technicians there or I'll have one technician there and pay them or whatever, but I'll bring everybody over. I'll do this little program, blah, blah, blah.” But it's not people coming into the practice, going through our process, taking up tech time, things like that. I'm just saying, “No, this is a little thing that I can do that is separate and I can intentionally do it. And it does not distract from the work of others. It's not putting my friends onto my staff in a way that makes their jobs harder, their lives harder,” things like that.
I think honestly, I'll tell you this. I think you're being really generous if you have an open door policy where your friends can call you and ask you about their pets. I personally don't like that and that's why I don't want my friends as my clients. Again, I'm not trying to be a real curmudgeon about it, but I got kids and I like to go home and I like to be off, and I don't really like people calling me and shaking me down for vet advice or things like that. And of course, I'll help you if you call me, but I'd really prefer that I not get a bunch of calls. And as your friend network expands, you can get a lot of people doing that. And so I personally just like to have some boundaries about when I'm available, when I'm not.
But I mean, I would say the idea that you take someone's phone calls after hours, you invite them to bring their pet by your house so you can have a look, you set up a little gathering to do vaccines or wellness care or things like that for your family or your friends, you do things like that, but then you don't give them a discount whenever they walk into the vet clinic or let them come in with no appointments or things like that. And that makes you not a generous person. I go, “I don't buy that for a second.” And so anyway, it goes back to being intentional. I'm not trying to be stingy about it at all, but I really do think that you can be very generous with people and not have a discount at your vet clinic. I do believe that.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. I think for me, from figuring out what to do, what I will say is I think after my feelings around discounting and what do we do for our teams and for friends and family have changed up, down, backwards, sideways over the years because I've done it a bunch of different ways and I've experienced it different ways in different practices. And the why being different in different places. And so I think for me then, this is purely personal, figuring it out meant deciding why I was doing it and what I was trying to get out of it.
And the most clear head space that I have ever been able to get into as a leader and as a practice owner would be to say, “I want the experience for my team.” And this for me, holds true for friends and family, to be the same experience that I would provide for any other client because the why for me is that I want our practice to be a place that any member of my team, any member of my friend group or family wouldn't hesitate to recommend to anybody that they meet to bring their pet into my practice.
And so for me, if that's my why, then it makes it a lot more clear on how I am going to deliver that. Because if I want my team to experience the same level of service that clients experience, that does not mean that their pets get stuck in a cage until the end of the day and dealt with after everybody else goes home. It does not mean that they get the short end of the stick. It doesn't mean a lot of things that we can see happen in practice when it comes to taking care of staff pets.
And the same goes for clients. Totally, I like your idea, Andy, and the outside the box thinking of, well, maybe you do a special thing for them and you figure out what that looks like. And I could totally see that. And at the same time, if my why… For me, my why was about, I want them to experience, I want them to come in. I want them to hear the same spiels from my team. I want them to build the relationships with the team. I want them to have that same kind of white glove experience that I personally cultivated in my practice. And this is totally me speaking from my personal experience here. So not going to be the right fit for everybody.
So for me, I would have a hard time with that because I wouldn't want to… It's funny talking about this. Patty's going to kill me. So when I started working in VetMed, it was a million years ago and we were just kind of transitioning. I grew up with pets that lived in the backyard. They didn't come in the house. And when I started working in VetMed, we had just transitioned and I remember vividly to having our first dog that kind of lived in the house. And God, we love Mercy. She was the best dog. But my parents were not my ideal client now, my parents were far from that ideal client.
It was the bare minimum. They didn't get dentals. We didn't do a lot of the things. And that was because the medicine has changed, but also, because of how we related to our pets has changed significantly. And when I think about about the care that I provided in the beginning for my own pets, it was not the same care that I was recommending in the practice. It was like, well, I know what the bare minimum is, and so I'm just going to do the bare minimum for your pets because that's how you have always treated them. And I think I deprived myself and my family the opportunity to learn and grow and believe in the things that I truly did believe in the practice. And so I think for a lot of us, there is the potential to have that discrepancy there.
And so I think for me, that's a big part of the figuring out what that why is and what you're going to do, because I think it will help you figure out how do you then action plan it. And so for me, I wanted my parents ultimately to experience it. And so I started forcing my mom. I'm like, “Nope, you have to call the clinic and you can talk to me as the CSR upfront, but you have to call the clinic and make an appointment. I'm not going to make an appointment for you. I want you to fill out the survey when you leave. I'm not going to tech your appointment. Somebody else is going to go in there because I want to get the feedback. I want to know how are we doing? How did we stand up to what… I want you to experience it like any other client.” That became a motivator for me as a leader with my own family, but also with my team.
And so figuring that out really, really helped me to have clarity and that ability to see clearly with figuring out, what is my protocol? What is my policy? How am I going to approach this? And really not have it just be willy-nilly. Or I don't know, this is what I decided at two o'clock in the morning and I wrote it down. So that's what we're going to do, which is when we're starting up a practice, that's where a lot of us start from. And so I think, for me, what is right for me is not necessarily what's going to be right for you, Andy, as Dr. Andy, or what's going to be right for our friends who owns the practice down the street. But whatever is the driver, figuring out the why behind that will help you figure out then the what are you going to do with it.

Andy Roark:
Yeah, I know. I agree with that. It's funny. We've talked about kind of blowing off staff pets before when they bring them in. Look, talk is cheap and people watch what you do. And so if you have your friend come in and you're just like, “Hey, come on in. Let me just do these vaccines for you real quick. All right. You're all set. All right, take care, buddy.” That sends one of two messages, right? It either sends a message that you don't really care about your friend's dog because you just popped him with vaccines and sent them out, or that all the hand waving you do about how important your exam is, is bullshit. Because when it's your friend, you just pop them with vaccines and send them out the door and whether they're like that-

Stephanie Goss:
But when it's the team… Yep.

Andy Roark:
Because that's what they need. You know what I mean? And so you can choose either of those two beliefs. You either don't care about your friend's dog or you don't care about all the other dogs because really, just doing what you need for your friend's dog and everybody else is getting a bunch of hand waving. You know what I mean? And so the staff is always watching. They're always watching. And again, I want to keep this in proportion where it's not like if you bring your friend Dave's dog in one time and do this, everything you've worked with your staff goes out the window. Of course, it doesn't. It's all a matter of proportionality and those sorts of things. So again, I don't want to over-generalize and say, if you do this one time or you behave this way once, your whole credibility is destroyed, but it does take a toll. And so it's just a lot of that.
So anyway, I think sort of to summarize the takeaways for me with the friends and family discount is be intentional on why you're doing this and that will help you sort of figure out who you're doing it for. Consider doing things that are not just inside your vet clinic, whether it's things that don't have anything to do with vet medicine or whether you set it up and say, “You know what? I do this with my neighbors.” If they'll text me or they'll see me and they'll say, “I'm really worried about my dog.” And I'll say, “Bring her over to the house and let's have a look.” And I do that, and I don't charge them for that, but I do. I just come, and I look, and I honestly try to help them.
And sometimes I'll say, “You need to go into the vet clinic.” And when they get to the vet clinic, they get an exam and they get those things. But a lot of times, just telling them, “Hey, let's give it until tomorrow. Let's see how it goes here. Here, I want you to just keep this clean. Let's see what we got. Bring her back in the morning and I'll take a look.” I mean, that's a very generous thing on my part that I don't charge for, but it's also, I don't consider it discounting.
And when they go to the vet clinic, they go in and they get checked in. Ideally, they see another vet besides me. I always just prefer that, but it's kind of what you want it to be. If you're going to decide that we're going to do friends and family discounting at least for friends, I would say be intentional about what that means and who gets that, and then I would make real sure that your friends' discount is not better than your staff discount. I mean, that may sound common sense, but I've seen friends get bigger discount than the staff who works there for you. And that doesn't generally go over very well.

Stephanie Goss:
Not at all. Not at all. And that was what I was going to say, is that, so the fairness is subjective, but the equity is very, very important. And your team is there day in, day out. And yes, it's not discounting the emotional value of your friends and family supporting you on your journey. That is very important. And I think that's why I am so glad that you brought up. You can have gifts and give acts of service outside of the vet clinic. The clinic is not the only currency that you have when it comes to your love language. And so I'm so glad that you said that because your team, that piece matters to them because that is the currency for you with them, how you treat them, how you take care of them. And to your point at the beginning of the episode, all of those other things, how they get paid, their benefits, all of those things mash up together and create that equality and that fairness piece.
And so I have absolutely seen it bite people in the butt where you tell the team, “I can only give you what the IRS allows,” but then you give your parents stuff for free and they have to put those charges in and zero it out. There's no faster path to having a pissed off team than that inequity, right?

Andy Roark:
Right.

Stephanie Goss:
And so, I'm so glad that you bring that up. And I think that that is a smart path to walk, which is whatever you're going to do for your team, make sure that your friends and family discount, particularly if you're extending it in a broad sense, does not go beyond what you're giving your team. That's just a common sense rule of thumb.

Andy Roark:
Well, And I'll tie onto that, because I think that's a really great point about giving what IRS allows, and then having your team put stuff in and zero it out. Just be mindful about perception and stuff and don't rub their face in it. And so if you're going to have your parents come in and everything, have your team put the charges in, and then just tell your parents, “Hey, I'll send you a bill if there's anything left.” And then have the managers zero it out, or you zero it out, or something later on. But just having the staff do it, and then see it and it just… And again, it depends on the individual. 90% of the staff, they don't care. They totally get it. They wish they could do it for their family, but a certain percentage of the staff is going to care. And the less that they kind of see it, the better.
When you have friends and family come in for things like this, and this is a big one for me, they have to go through the system, where I think what it really hacks the staff off is not so much the money. It's people who come in without an appointment. They walk right into the back, which is the realm of the staff, and act like they own the place and this is their place, not the staff's place.
And again, I don't know if any of your friends would do that, if any of your family members would do that, but I want to take care of my staff as they take care of my friends, which means you should have an appointment. You should come in, you should get seen. The technician should take the history. We should do the whole song and dance, and then I'll send you a bill if there's anything left to pay. And what that means is I'll have the manager zero it out, or I'll look at it and see what we can do, but I'm not going to make the staff do it, things like that. That's a distinct possibility.

Stephanie Goss:
And I have to really quick hop on my soapbox for just a hot second because this is a new practice owner. And I have to hop on what the IRS allows, soapbox for a hot second, because it comes up over and over, and over, and over again. And I have seen so many practice owners use this almost as a weapon in terms of arguing their policy for staff discounts, and nothing puts my back up faster. So the IRS, there are rules, but the phrase, what the IRS allows, is totally misnomer. Because the IRS will allow you. You can discount 100%. If you want to give your team 100% discount on everything, you can do that. What the IRS says is that they have to pay tax on it. It has to be claimed as income.
And so there is paperwork that has to be done, but you can absolutely have a staff discount policy that says, your team gets everything at cost or gets it at 100% discount for services or whatever your policy is. Where people get confused is because what the IRS says is, “We've set a threshold.” So you can do a percentage off on services and do cost plus 10%, so it's 20% off on services and cost plus 10 on goods, that's their threshold. And so realistically, that's where they say, “Look, we'll allow you to discount to this amount without us getting our nose out of joint. Anything beyond that, you have to do the paperwork on it because we want to claim our tax on it, and the government needs to get their piece.”
And so, so many people are like, “Well, I can't give a bigger discount. I can't do this because the IRS says, this is all I'm allowed to do.” You can do whatever it is that you want to do. And so as a new practice owner, knowing that and figuring out, again, to your point earlier, the why, why are you doing the thing? How are you giving back to them? For me, I wanted my team to experience the care that our clients got to experience.
And so you bet your butt, if our standard of care was that every patient who had dental disease was recommended to get a dental cleaning once a year, I wanted my team to be able to access that care. And so my employee discount program was set up to support that. And a dental at our practice was not an inexpensive thing. And so, I had team members who… We lived in a very expensive part of the country in California, in the Bay Area, and there was a lot of them who even though we paid them well, were still living paycheck to paycheck and doing our dental at our client prices, put that care out of reach for their patients, for their pets.
And so for me, it was about getting them to access that care. So we gave a bigger discount, and then we did the paperwork, and they knew that and we were clear about it. It was very clearly spelled out. I answered all of their questions. I kept answering questions. It wasn't just the conversation at hire. And so I bring all this up and get on my soapbox for a second because I think that I've seen so many practice owners use this as like, “Well, my hands are tied, and so this is what I can do.” And we use that. That gets used as a weapon with our team, but we look the other way when it comes to our friends and family. And that's bullshit, for me.
And so I can't resist, I had to jump on that soapbox for a second because that's where the equity comes into place. If you're going to use that as a weapon with your team and say, “Well, the IRS says I can only give you 20% off,” then you sure as hell better be prepared to answer their questions about why your friends and family get it at a 100% discount.

Andy Roark:
Yeah. Sure. And I'll get on my soapbox here at the end. My last point on this is, when I talk about the discounting and things like that, I believe that we should price our services fairly and intentionally. I think when you decide what you charge for your services, you should act with integrity.

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Andy Roark:
You should be honest about what your clinic needs to make. You should not feel guilty about earning a decent living for yourself. You should not feel guilty about demanding to be able to pay your team a good salary. You should not feel bad about having a profitable business that has some value to it. And you should also be able to look people in the eye and sort of say, “This is what we need to charge for what we do.” Now granted, that doesn't mean we can't do some discounts for the staff or things like that, but I just found that when I looked at it holistically and said, “This is what we need to charge in order to do what we need to do,” I have a lot less trouble saying to people, “This is what it costs.”
And it made me feel better about deciding intentionally what I want to do to give back, and then just sort of saying, “I don't really play with the prices.” I think I have this sort of negative just aversion to changing prices because I think it's a bad habit. And I think that it's a slippery slope and you get way too comfortable not charging for things and just taking the price down on things. And I think that if you're in an independent practice, I think that's a bad habit to get into. They don't have that practice in a corporate, that problem in a corporate practice. You're not doing friends and family discount when you work for a multi-site practice. I just think it's something that independents need to look out for because it's a slippery slope. And so anyway, if you've gotten the impression, I'm not a huge fan of it today, you're right.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh man, this was fun.

Andy Roark:
Yeah, that's good. I'm going to go spend some time with Skipper, make sure he's doing okay.

Stephanie Goss:
Bolster his confidence?

Andy Roark:
Bolster his confidence, make sure he still knows he's a good boy, give him some affirmations.

Stephanie Goss:
I can't.

Andy Roark:
I know. His love language is gifts too, so he is going to get a treat. Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it. Take care, everybody.

Andy Roark:
See you later, everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message. You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can email us at podcast@unchartedvet.com. Take care everybody, and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Dustin Bays · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Practice ownership

Jul 19 2023

Lessons Learned from Leadership – Part Two

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management geek Stephanie Goss are picking up where we left off after last week. If you haven't listened to Episode #240 – STOP RIGHT HERE and go listen.

Stephanie recently was asked a question by a fellow manager who is newer to their management position “What lesson(s) do you wish you had learned about being a leader BEFORE you became a leader? Andy and Stephanie got SO into this topic that this is part two because we just couldn't fit all the amazing conversation into one episode. Let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 241 – Lessons Learned From Leadership – Part Two

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

December 7-9, 2023: Uncharted Practice Leaders Summit

All Upcoming Events


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:

Hey, everybody. I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. Andy and I are back this week to continue a conversation that we previously started. Now this episode is a little bit different than our normal. We got a question from a colleague who wanted to know, “Hey, what are some of the most important lessons that you and Andy wish that you had learned before you became a leader?” We thought it was such a wonderful question. Both of us had extensive lists and actually I think that we wound up talking about not a whole lot that was on the original list because we got so into the discussion. We had so much fun making this. I'm just going to say let's get into it.

Speaker 2:

And now the Uncharted Podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Asnd we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie “Part Two” Goss.

Stephanie Goss:

That was such a cop out.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I thought that was great. I was like-

Stephanie Goss:

I was like, what great song lyric does he have for this?

Dr. Andy Roark:

I know. You're like, ha, ha.

Stephanie Goss:

There's no.

Dr. Andy Roark:

He's going to have to get real creative.

Stephanie Goss:

This part.

Dr. Andy Roark:

For this part two.

Stephanie Goss:

Part two.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Episode of the podcast.

Stephanie Goss:

Yeah. How's it going, Andy Roark?

Dr. Andy Roark:

It's good. It's really good. Yeah, man. Holy crapes. A lot going on. We are in the swing of things now. We got a lot of stuff going on. Enjoyed talking with you earlier today about some logistics, some hotel management and a room arrangement for the Practice Leaders Summit, which is open to practice owners and practice managers only at the end of the year. That's right, it'll be only practice owners and practice managers. Those are the only job types that we're going to take. They're going to separate and have a day to themselves in only manager group and an only owner group, and then they're going to come back together and do a manager-owner working collaboratively type day.

It's going to be really good. Then there's some people who are like, “I work at a practice. We don't have a practice owner.” That's totally fine. We've got a work around for that, but that's going to be the idea is separate groups. My idea is to try to have too many conferences at the same time and then bring them together for this magical everybody back together taking what they used in their separate sessions and doing something awesome with it at the end of the event. So that's what's going to happen.

Stephanie Goss:

And my idea is that the most valuable time we spend out of the clinic is when we work together. So you're going to take your idea and my idea, and we're going to mash it up. We're going to do work time, and we're going to have separate group conversation time. We're going to make a new baby project. I am so pumped for this, and I imagine some of our listeners who are going, “Well, but I'm a practice leader, but I'm not a practice owner and I'm not a practice manager.” We hear you. We are working on practice leadership is you and I's jam, and we want to continue to create spaces. So this is just the starting point. In December, we are starting with our owners and our managers and bringing them together. But fear not, if you do not fall into one of those two categories, because we have got all kinds of stuff coming and I am so excited.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah. Yeah. I'm super pumped. We're going to start. We are really bracing out, and we are going to go hard on our medical directors and our team leads. So we've got virtual events for them, and then next year we'll see what happens. I'd like to keep rolling people together.

Stephanie Goss:

We're going to be in Greenville in December as we do, which is beautiful. I love how Greenville gets into the holiday spirit, and you and I are getting ready to take our show on the road a little bit.

Dr. Andy Roark:

That's right.

Stephanie Goss:

So we've got some new events this year, one of which is happening in the fall. There'll be more info coming, but we are going out on the road. So if you're like, I haven't been able to get to Greenville, but maybe-

Dr. Andy Roark:

What? Uncharted?

Stephanie Goss:

I would like to do Uncharted on the West Coast.

Dr. Andy Roark:

What? On the West Coast?

Stephanie Goss:

It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I told you guys. This year, bonkers.

Stephanie Goss:

We're shaking it up.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Oh man.

Stephanie Goss:

Okay, so you called me Stephanie Goss, Stephanie “Part Two” Goss because we are picking up where we left off earlier today when you and I were recording.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:

But I don't know how that shakes out with our episodes, but you and I recently did an episode because I got asked by a newer manager in our Uncharted community, “Hey, I would love …” Even though it doesn't fit your mailbag format, I would love to hear you and Andy talk about some of the lessons you wish you had learned before you became a leader or some of the things that you wish that you knew or learned with hindsight. If you haven't listened to that episode, you should go back and listen to it because we had so much fun and we got about a quarter of the way through. I think we both looked at each other. It's kind of weird how we can read each other's minds now at this point sometimes.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah, yeah.

Stephanie Goss:

We both gave each other that look of like, “Oh, this is going to be two parts because we're never going to get through all of this.” So here you go, part two.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Here we are.

Stephanie Goss:

Here we are.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yes.

Stephanie Goss:

We're going to pick up where we left off and talk about some more of the lessons that we wish we had learned.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I've got one.

Stephanie Goss:

All right.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I've got one. So just hear me all the way out before anybody reacts.

Stephanie Goss:

All right.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Okay.

Stephanie Goss:

Is that me included?

Dr. Andy Roark:

That's definitely you included.

Stephanie Goss:

Yeah. okay I'm going to sit on my hands and zip my mouth.

Dr. Andy Roark:

That's 100% of you included.

Stephanie Goss:

Okay. I'm listening.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I could see you not liking what I'm going to say.

Stephanie Goss:

Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Ultimately I think you'll come around, but I think your initial reaction may be-

Stephanie Goss:

Challenge accepted.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Okay. Caveat. You need to care about how your team is feeling, but not that much. Okay. Not that much. I say that not in like … okay. It probably depends on who you are as a person, but I would tell you again, I'm giving advice, things that I wish that I knew before I got started.

Stephanie Goss:

Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I always allowed myself to hear and internalize the feelings of my team and the people that I was leading. That is good because we want people to be heard, and we definitely want to empathize with the people that we're leading and understand them. All those things are true.

Stephanie Goss:

Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:

However, for me, that led to wild fluctuation in my experience day to day. It took me a decade to realize that somebody is always going to be upset about something. If you internalize the feelings of everyone who comes into your office, you are going to be manic. You are going to be on this high and low rollercoaster all the time. Honestly, let's be honest, it's usually low to horribly low to terrified. It's usually fear to anger, to frustration, back to fear.

Stephanie Goss:

Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Because people are like, “Andy, I need to interrupt you and share my positive feelings with you.” That doesn't happen.

Stephanie Goss:

Once in a blue moon.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Once in a blue moon.

Stephanie Goss:

Somebody comes in and is like, “Andy, I'm so excited to tell you about this thing I just did.”

Dr. Andy Roark:

Right. But there's two reasons for this. The first one is if you just take in the feelings of the people that you're leading, you will go bonkers because it will just be this constant emotional rush. It's like if you were to internalize. I guess this is a good metaphor, it's like if you were to internalize the feelings of the pet owners you're taking care of. I think every doctor knows that's a bad idea because it's exhausting. It is a path to burnout. You cannot feel the euthanasia the way that the owner feels the euthanasia. If you do, I'm worried about your longevity of this profession because you just can't. You just can't put that on yourself every day. Can't. It's the same thing with staff.

Stephanie Goss:

That doesn't mean that you can't care.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Right.

Stephanie Goss:

Because a lot of people would go, “Well, what do you mean I can't care about my patients and I can't …”

Dr. Andy Roark:

No.

Stephanie Goss:

Hear you. That's not what you're saying.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I think that's why it's a good analogy, right? Because no one would be like, Andy doesn't care about the patients that he euthanizes. Anyone who knows me knows that's not true. I cannot internalize the emotions of those people and make them my own emotions or it will drown me. That's how I think everybody is. But I think that you put your finger right on it. It is a hundred percent possible for me to say I am not going to empathize, emotionally empathize, but I can still care, but I don't need to feel those feelings. So I think that that's key just because … part one is because of the volume of feelings you're going to get because everybody's got feelings, and they're going to have struggles and you can't … it sucks that throughout the course of the day, say half the team has some a negative experience, if every one of those experiences then comes together and gets handed to you, you're toast.

Because no one person should have those experiences just piled on top of them, but a lot of people do. So I had that experience just because it comes at you so fast. That's one. The other reason that I didn't understand until much later on is people react in the moment, and they get mad.they come and they bring to you this in the moment emotion. At least for me, I didn't cognitively put that together as a, “This is an in the moment motion.” Right? The truth is if your staff gets hacked off at the front desk, the texts are mad at the front desk. They come to you and they're like, “This is a disaster. Nothing is right. Nobody can get along. We're not communicating. They don't seem to know what's going on.” The truth is if you said, “Great, let's talk about this tomorrow morning. I'm going to make some notes. We're going to meet up tomorrow morning and I just want to sort this out.”

Tomorrow morning, they are not going to feel that way. They might have some of those ideas, and there might be validity to what they're saying, but the whole, “This business is crashing. Our practice is a sham. We say that we care, that we have compassion, and clearly we don't.” And blah. All the emotional stuff has generally gone away. But I was never good at that in that when people come to me and something bad has just happened and they're like, “I am so mad.” I at some level believe that they went home and continued to be mad. They were mad the next day. They just weren't saying anything about it. The truth is that's not how emotions are. People tend to come to you when their emotions are at their zenith. So you are seeing them at the height of their emotional output. That's not how they're living their life, but I thought that it was at some level.

Stephanie Goss:

Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I was like, boy, when I saw her, she was so upset. It's like, yeah, she was upset for about 10 minutes, Andy. Then she kind of moved on. That doesn't mean that you're going to not care about this. It doesn't mean you're not going to wade in and fix it, but this person is not going home and sobbing themselves to sleep in a puddle that you have to fix this immediately or else they're going to leave. I think I thought that it was at some level. Does that make sense?

Stephanie Goss:

It totally does. I think the other benefit of that too, so I have yet again, things that were not on my list, so I'll give you the one that goes to this and then I want to go back to where you started.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Sure.

Stephanie Goss:

So going along with this, I think the reality for me was I had to create. When I was a young manager, I am … soaked up everybody's emotions very similarly to how you were talking, both clients and team. It was overwhelming for me at times. So I also have a very fiery temper. I have three brothers, and I am scrappy and I learned to fight early and often. So I have a temper. So one of the most painful lessons that I had to learn as a leader was to create the space for myself to have the 24-hour rule because I did a lot of being the person who tried to deal with the things, including my own problems in the moment, emotion like you're talking about.

When you're at the pinnacle of your anger or upset or frustration or sadness, whatever the emotions are that you're feeling and you try and deal with it, usually is not … you might get to the end result that you need to get to, but it is a messy winding road to get there because you're still processing in realtime. One of the most helpful tools that I learned, again better living through therapy, was this rule for myself that is hard and fast, which is I have to give myself the space of 24 hours.

What that means is I try and walk away from emotionally charged situations, whether it's someone else bringing me their emotionally charged situation or me bringing myself to the place where I'm going to deal with an emotionally charged situation and process through how do I actually feel about this? Because to your point, maybe I do go home and cry myself to sleep about it. Maybe I am that upset or maybe I go to bed and I'm just like … I wake up the next day and I'm like, I still want to shank somebody. I am that hacked off about it. That tells me that I need to deal with that problem. But if I wake up … To your point, if I wake up and I'm like, “I'm pissed off about it. I would really like this thing to change in the future, but I'm not screaming mad and ready to smack somebody the way that I was yesterday when I was in the clinic.” Right? I've moved past that place.

Getting to that point of resolution is going to be so much easier because I've dealt with that emotion. So the 24 hour-rule for me was really key. I think you taught me to one up that even more in terms of not only processing the emotional situations, but allowing yourself some time and space to let your team figure it out. Because I was always the one who was like, “Oh, they have a problem, like my job is to help them, so let me help them with the problem.”

You taught me the lesson of don't answer your phone. Don't answer the text. Don't answer the slack message right away and give them the time and space. It was amazing to me. I thought, well then I'm just going to have a whole stack of problems tomorrow, Andy, to deal with or at the end of my shift to deal with. What I found was that you were right. I did say that on record so you can keep that.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I'm like, holy moly.

Stephanie Goss:

Dustin is going to create the best Easter egg I've maybe ever have given Andy. Andy Roark, you were right. That when you give them the space, a lot of the time they figure it out. They either calm down, and they have a more coherent like, “Hey, I need your help and here's what I need your help with.” Or they're like, “No, I got it. I figured it out, nevermind.” So giving myself the 24-hour rule and applying it also to the don't respond to every message right away was really key to me finding balance as a leader because there's always something.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah. Give them 10 minutes and text back, do you still need help with this and see what happens. Usually the answer will be, “No, we figured it out. No, I got someone else to take care of it.” Great. Okay, good. Yeah. It's funny, sort of wading back into this for a second. There's emotional empathy, and there's cognitive empathy. Emotional empathy is feeling the feelings of others. Cognitive empathy is understanding how that person feels.

So we were talking about euthanasia before, cognitive empathy is what we want. It's like, I understand the experience this person is having, but I don't need to feel it that way. I go back to that as far as you're talking about being an emotion sponge and soaking it up. I think that's really what I'm trying to put my finger on is cognitive empathy is important when you're leading a team is to say, I understand that this person is being affected.

I guess here's the other part when I said, “You should care about how your team feels, but not that much. You should care about what your team needs, and you should care about that a lot.” So when someone comes and they're like, I'm so mad because this happened, that doesn't mean when I say you shouldn't care too much. You're like, “No, I should get over it.” Like, no, you should look into this, and we need to figure this out. However, I don't need to take in that knowledge. I need to fix this.

With the emotions tied to it that this is horrible, and people are upset, and everything's on fire, and the whole team is going to boycott and leave tomorrow morning because they're not. I'm going to deal with this, but I don't need to have that fear, anger, frustration that someone else brought to me while I do it. So I think that's true. To your part, I like where you went with this as far as the 24-hour rule because I have emotions. I really like that too. I think what I would say … so I don't have a temper. I really don't have a temper. I don't tend to get mad. It happens, but I am not calm. I would not say I'm calm. I would say I don't tend to get angry. That's not usually how I go. Anyway, sorry. We'll take that again.

Stephanie Goss:

You're like, no.

Dr. Andy Roark:

No. Do you think I get angry?

Stephanie Goss:

No, I don't think you get angry. I don't think you-

Dr. Andy Roark:

Okay. When you said you're really calm and then you didn't say anything else, I was like, “Am I?”

Stephanie Goss:

No. That's how I know. Because you don't get angry in the sense. When I get angry, I get loud, I get intense, I yell. I have brothers, I like to hit things. I truly have learned to manage my anger as I've become an adult. You, I can tell at least … I can count on six years of working together, I can probably count on two fingers the numbers of times that I've seen you actually where I think you were angry. You are very calm, which is abnormal for you. You are not a calm person.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah, I need quiet. Okay.

Stephanie Goss:

You get very serious and calm. It's just this is how it's going to be. I can tell that it's not like … that's the scary Andy. It's like, oh, okay. You're normally very expressive, like the opposite of that. So I don't think it's like, “Oh, you're a calm person.” I think that's how it comes out when you're angry.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Well, yeah, exactly right. You're spot on. But when you said, “Oh, you're calm.” I'm like, “Wait a second.”

Stephanie Goss:

He was like, “Has she ever worked with me ?”

Dr. Andy Roark:

Me? I thought you were being facetious. I was like, “Hey, is this me?” Anyway, no, you're exactly right. I'm glad that you say you can count on two fingers because it does not tend to happen.

Stephanie Goss:

No. Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark:

It's not how I roll.

Stephanie Goss:

Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark:

However, I do … obviously .. that doesn't mean I'm a robot and I absolutely do get affected. So there are things that happen to me or something will happen to the team. Whereas other people might get really angry, I won't necessarily get angry, but I will be affected. I will ruminate on it in a way that's not productive sometimes. So I will fall into that. The 24-hour rule, I think it's really smart. That's why we talk about … when we talk about safe conversations, can you sit next to this person? Can you smile at them? I think it's right there.

The thing for me that I didn't … the skill I did not have when I was a young leader that I got later on that's really been valuable for me is the ability to get present in the moment. This is not going to be a sales pitch for meditation, but that is what some people do is mindfulness stuff.

Stephanie Goss:

Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:

For me, I had to realize that rumination is not good for me, and I had to come up with a couple of things that helped me to get out of that trap of just fruitlessly burning my mental gas as fast as I could.

Stephanie Goss:

Well, because let's be real, you end up in a cardboard box in the woods, and so you need a coping mechanism to get yourself out of that box.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah, I'm going to talk about the cardboard box in the woods in a second, where that comes from, because that's a big thing for me is the cardboard box in the woods. But I do, but I have that coping mechanism to get out of that. So the big things for me, the first thing I would say is everybody's got to find their own thing.

Stephanie Goss:

Right.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Right? Everyone's brain is different. So I'll tell you what works for me. It probably won't work for you or it won't be the best thing for you. You'll have to find your own thing. But every leader should figure out how to get present and set that stuff down. If you cannot set that stuff down, if you're like, “Nope, I get anxious. I get worried. I start ruminating. I get stuck in this toxic fake argument in my head, you've got to figure out how to get out of that.”

So everybody's got to find their own way. So for me, one of the big things that I came to was … there's definitely some mindfulness stuff. Right? Just taking a moment, getting present, paying attention to your breath, stuff like that is really good. But then I got into this series of questions that is helpful where I will just ask myself, “What am I doing right now? What should I be doing right now?” Then I will look at the problem and say, “Do I have a plan for this problem?” If I don't have a plan for the problem, then I will start making the plan. That switching into action mode is huge for getting me out of my head and moving in a productive way. So what am I doing right now? Do I have a plan for this problem that's clearly bothering me? If I don't have a plan, I'm going to make it.

If I do have a plan, then I'm going to say, “Am I doing the plan right now?” If the answer is yes, then I'm done. And that actually is my path out is, yep, I have a plan. I am doing the plan. I am having a meeting with this person tomorrow morning when they arrive at the clinic, and I have texted them. They said, “Great, see you then.” So the plan is set and I am doing the plan, which means there is no reason for me to continue in this head space. Do I know what I'm going to say tomorrow? If I don't, and that's bothering me, then part of the plan needs to be prepping for my meeting tomorrow, figuring out what I'm going to say. And I go, great. Then I take action again. I'm sure it sounds really dumb.

Stephanie Goss:

No.

Dr. Andy Roark:

But for me, it was just a big deal of, “What am I doing now? Do I have a plan for this?” Yes. Great. Then I should feel good because I'm doing the plan. If it's like, yeah, but now I don't exactly know what I'm going to say in this meeting, great, switch that back to action. But I have found that I can take action, make a plan, write it down on paper. Sometimes living in my head is not enough. I need to make it into something I can see.

Stephanie Goss:

Yes, yes. Same.

Dr. Andy Roark:

But now I'm taking action and getting this out of my brain. Guys, that's just been a huge thing for me. Mix that with a little bit of mindfulness, some breathing, maybe a post-work exercise session, walk the dog, something like that. But I have gotten much better at being able to put that stuff aside and not just grind the gears and grind the gears and grind the gears when I'm troubled.

Stephanie Goss:

Yes. Yeah, I am two ways very similar to you in that regard. I am super hippie, for anybody who knows me pretty well. So a big thing for me besides the breathing, and that's actually been a challenge for me because I don't pause, and I don't slow down, and I don't breathe. So learning how to be intentional about breathing and some breath exercises was really helpful. But also I practice what's called grounding. So for me, what is really, really helpful is I go outside. I put my feet on the ground, I take off my shoes, I take off my socks. I don't go where we let the dogs pee, but I find some ground at the clinic and just sink my toes into the ground and just breathe. That makes a world of difference if I have the capacity to then go for a walk or get myself out.

But there's something about, even though we don't get a lot of sunshine in Washington, just being out in the outside and connecting with the ground, it's hippie woowoo. It's not for everybody, but it makes a huge difference for me. Then your other one was writing it down, and I found an outline or a template that was shared with a practice, a consultant that we worked at my very first practice, and I've kind of stuck with it.

It goes along with our safe, but there's a series of questions that I ask myself like, “What meaning have I attached to this problem? What am I trying to figure out? What am I actually worried about? What else could this mean? Is there information I don't have?” I forced myself to go through kind of a flow chart to write the things down, to figure out, okay, ultimately to land where you landed, which is what is my plan? How am I going to deal with it? Do I need more information? What do I need to be able to move forward? Is that moving forward with having a hard conversation? Is it dealing with an emotion? What is that plan? But the writing it down and getting it out of my head really makes a big difference.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah, I completely agree. Everybody, like I said, I love the know you talked about grounding. Maybe it's yoga. Maybe it's mindfulness. There's a million different kinds of mindfulness. I love your idea of grounding, but what is your thing that can get you out of your head and just present in the moment so you can let some emotions roll on by and then go on and not carry this stuff around with you? So I think that's huge.

Stephanie Goss:

I want to go back to where you started a little bit because one of the lessons, and again, this was not on my list, but I love where you went with it, so I'm going to roll with it.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Sure.

Stephanie Goss:

One of the most important lessons I think that I learned as a leader, I learned from Legally Blonde. I'm just going to put that out there because it's going to make you laugh, and it's going to give you fodder for teasing me. So in the movie, Legally Blonde, Elle's sorority sisters, they have a snap cup. It is bedazzled and jewelled. And the snap cup idea is that you write down positive things. I remember the very first time I brought the snap cup concept to my practice. I had the cup and I bedazzled it, and I glittered it because that's me. I brought it to my team. I was like, “Listen, we need to find the good.”

It was an uphill battle at first because I didn't have the tools to get team by. I didn't know a lot of the lessons that I know now, but I just knew that there was something so inspiring to me about the positivity of what is the good and where can we capture the good. When you said care about your people, but don't care that much, for me, it was your point about there will be something wrong for somebody all day long. If all I hear as the leader, it is very rare that the team comes, that I am one of the first people to hear someone on the team come to you and say, “Oh, I just learned how to do this thing or I just did this.” I got to the place where they wanted to come tell me those things.

As you get further and further up the leadership chain, you're removed from that, and so I wasn't there to celebrate those victories. I wasn't on the floor all the time, so I didn't see a lot of that. I spent so much time hearing the problems and none of the good. For me, this snap cup was a way for me to intentionally learn about what is good about our jobs and be reminded not only for myself, but to help the team remind each other about why do we like each other. Because it's really easy to get caught up in the, oh my gosh, the techs aren't doing what I need them to do, or oh my gosh, the CSRs are a pain in the today. It's really easy to get caught up in that frustration because we are people dealing with people all day long.

There will always be problems. There will always be conflict. There will always be emotion. It's really easy for any one of us, regardless of our position in the hospital to sink into that problem or the negative side. The snap cup really, really helped say what was a good thing that happened. What do I want to say thank you to somebody for? What made me laugh today? The more and more that we were intentional about it, the better I learned how to see the team and to stop seeing just the problems.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah. Yeah, I think that that's another … I'm so glad you said that. I put that down with sort of the mindfulness part of getting present in the moment. Another part of that for me is knowing that we tend to remember the negative stuff. Right? It's called negativity biases sticks to us. Part of being mindful is like, what's going on right now? The other part is, “What is good today?” I think that part of that's getting present and putting things aside. It's really easy to not stop for a minute and say, “What was good?” I don't have a whole lot of woo woo therapy type stuff that I do, but I do have one thing that I have done for years, and it is journal. But it's not traditional. It's not journaling where I write in. All I do is the whole notebook is just the date and three things that were good today, and that's it.

If I have more than three, I keep going. But for the most part, I want three things. I have that notebook by my bed. I can just look and I look at that notebook, and I believe I have a good life because of all the things that are there. They're not the things that you necessarily think of. They're just things like, I had a great cup of coffee with Stephanie Goss today and really enjoyed our conversation. Man, if you look back at the end of the day and you are like, I had a great cup of coffee with Stephanie Goss, and I enjoyed the conversation. I went for a beautiful walk at lunchtime, and I had dinner with my family, and my daughter cooked it. You're like, that's it. That's a simple, stupid … I think you're living a good life.

To me, to be able to look back and objectively see, oh, there are a lot of good things here, that has been a big deal as far as me feeling good and just … I don't know. It's one of those things now at this point, I just kind of enjoy it. I flip back through that a lot because you'll look back at a date and you'll be like, “Oh man. About four months ago we had those people over for dinner. It was really wonderful,” or “Oh man, I remember the last time I had coffee with Stephanie was six weeks ago. We should do that again.” I don't know. It kind of fits in that whole sort of mindfulness and holding onto what's good.

Stephanie Goss:

Hey, friends. Are you a veterinary practice owner? No? Well, are you a veterinary practice manager? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, I want you to keep listening. If it's not, yes you can take a quick pee break or get some water before we head back into the podcast because I've got something for my practice owners and my practice managers. We are hosting our first ever Practice Leaders Summit. If you're not an owner or manager and you're still listening, and you're thinking, “But I'm a practice leader,” don't worry, we've got you. We've got more events coming, but this first one is happening in December in Greenville, South Carolina.

It will be decorated for the holidays. We are going to come together. Now we're going to come together, but we're going to be separate. What are you talking about, Stephanie? Well, Andy and I have planned a whole bunch of new content with our team, and we are excited to bring managers together to talk to other managers, and owners together to talk to other practice owners.

Then we're going to put everybody together, and we are going to get to work. That's right. We are going to work on our practices. Our ideal hope would be that manager and owner combos can come together, but we recognize that won't work for some practices. So we have plans to hook you up with other owners and managers, if you're coming solo on either side. So don't worry, but don't delay.

Head over to the website at UnchartedVet.com/Events because we want to see you there, and that means you have to sign up because this will sell out. Don't miss your chance to come work on your practice with your practice owner, with your practice manager. You can find out more information, including a letter that you can use to convince your boss if you are a practice manager or maybe practice owners, some reverse psychology to use on your manager to get them to come to Greenville with you. Again, it's all up at the website at UnchartedVet.com/Events. And now back to the podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Let's flip gears for a second. I want to talk about the box in the woods. So we joke a lot that my fear is always no matter what happens, it's going to go bad, and I'm going to end up living in a box in the woods. That's where all of this cascades. There'll be a one-star review, and there'll be a cascade of events that leads to complete financial ruin. I get divorced and my children won't talk to me anymore, and I live in a box by the woods or in the woods. That's where things go. So we joke about that a lot, but the box in the woods comes from a real place. It comes from here, and this is sort of a part of the leadership advice, stuff that I wished I had understood early on. We're all running a hardware system that was built a million years ago by our cavemen ancestors.

The way that our brains are wired, we are wired for survival 30,000 years ago. That is how we are wired. So there is parts of our brain that are just set up this way to keep us alive in a nutrient scarce environment.

Stephanie Goss:

Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Which is why, I call it the caveman. The caveman wants to drive. We all have a caveman or cavewoman. The caveman wants to drive. So if you let the caveman drive, you get wild behaviors that a caveman would like. My caveman believe … People are like, “Listen to your body.” My body believes that the pizza tree blooms once a year, and so we better get it while it's here right now today. My body thinks that famine could come at any time and completely ignores the fact that I am never more than 10 feet away from food throughout my entire day. It's like, “Nope, famine's coming.” It's like that.

So a couple of things the caveman cares about that I think are really important. One of them is status. Right? Status is important to the caveman. Status is important because in tribes, well, what happened is if you had a lower status, you had limited access to resources and to mates. If you were removed from the tribe because your status became too low, you were dead. That was it. A person by themselves without a tribe was dead. So status matters and being included in the tribe, it matters. I say that because for me, understanding the caveman means going, “Oh, my brain thinks that if I don't have high status with this group of people, I might get kicked out of the tribe,” and that's not true, but that's the emotional experience that we have is we're like, oh, I need to virtue signal at these people or I need to make sure my status is good.

All of the stuff when I say, “Oh man, it's important that people like me or I really struggle with making everyone happy or making people happy,” that's caveman pushing that lever, going, “Hey, we need some status here. We need to make sure we're in a good position in the tribe. Make sure everybody likes you because you're more likely to be able to eat first and to have a mate and to not get kicked out, to freeze to death.” So the caveman drives that desire for status is baked in. The fear, it's more important the fear of losing status is baked in. The other part of that that's related is in the caveman brain, for a lot of us, failure when you're a caveman means death, like you are dead. Our modern mind hasn't changed that much. So we still attach these 30,000-year-old stakes to modern events that do not carry those stakes at all.

So I joke about the idea that I'm going to get a one-star review, and it's going to end up with me in a box in the woods. That's not really what my caveman brain says. My caveman brain really says, “You are going to die.” That's what it says. If this fails, you are going to die, and that is so ridiculous. But at some level, basal lizard brain level, that's what my body believes. So when I joke and say, “I'm going to live in the box in the woods,” what's really happening behind my eyes is I am calling that out. I'm going, the idea is if I fail, if my employees decide they don't like me, they're all going to leave, and I'm going to starve to death and no one's going to like me and I am going to die.” That's what my caveman says.

You go, that's ridiculous. Of course when you lay that down and you call it out, you know it's ridiculous. Then that fear goes away. You go, that's ridiculous. None of that's going to happen. But boy, if you don't call it out, and you don't catch it, I have a hundred percent seen people reacting emotionally to basic HR situations as if their life, they are scared to the level that you go, “None of this is worth what you're talking about.” None of this is worth the weight and the fear that you're giving to it. I just say, I've seen doctors be like, she's really angry. I'm like, okay, what does that mean for you? Well, she might write a one-star review. I'm like, “Are you going to die from that?” No. She might file a board complaint. And I'll go, “That would be a crappy couple of months.”

Stephanie Goss:

But did you die?

Dr. Andy Roark:

But don't get me wrong, but you will not die. What if they took your license away? Seriously, what if they took your license away? Then you will do a different job, and you will not die. Again, I bring that up. These are all weird constructs that I have in my mind and things I've thought a lot about. I don't know if they're helpful to other people. I hope that they are. But the caveman mind of, “Andy, if this goes badly, you are going to die.” But that's why when we talk about me ending up in a box, that's shorthand for that type of fear of if this goes badly, all is lost. I'm like, “No, no, it's not.”

Stephanie Goss:

I love that. I think my last one, I'm going to piggyback off of your fear because I think this was a big lesson for me. So I came from the team. I was a CSR, and then became an assistant, became a CSR lead and then an assistant manager. So I wish I had learned the lesson much earlier on that there is a huge difference between love, respect, and fear in the team. When I stepped up above my peers positionally, I reached for the fear lever a lot because I was like, “Well, I want them to respect me, and I need them to understand that I mean business. And I can't have them look at me like their friend.” My immature management brain thought, “Well, I need them to be afraid of the consequences or they're not going to take me seriously.” You're laughing and it's like, now I look back and-

Dr. Andy Roark:

No, no, of course. Well, that's good to know.

Stephanie Goss:

Laugh at.

Dr. Andy Roark:

But I can see this. I know you well enough to say, okay, I can see this. Also I know you will enough to say, “This is so funny.” It's like the Little Mermaid has had enough, and that's it, Crab, I'm going to kick some butt if you don't get on board with this.

Stephanie Goss:

But it really was like … I was like, okay, I'm going to reach for the fear lever. Then there were times to the point that you and I have already talked about where you want to care about your team. So I leaned too far in the direction of I want my team to love me. How they view me matters so much to me, and I need to be loved and adored. I need to make them happy. As we've already talked about, you can't freaking make them all happy. Someone is always going to be pissed off about something that you did as a leader. That's just the reality of the position.

So both ends of that spectrum, I wound up screwing myself over leaning too much into either one of those sides. What I found and what I wish I had found much earlier on in the process because there was a lot of painful lessons at both ends of that spectrum is that the respect in the middle is where I want to be.

That comes with time and patience. It isn't a lever that you can pull. You have to earn it. Showing up for my team, doing what I said I was going to do, caring about them, but not caring too much, not being afraid to hold them accountable, but not being a dick either, that middle ground is what earned me the respect. I wish that I had known that lesson way earlier on because I burned myself. I burned some bridges along the way trying to lean into the love or the fear too much.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Well, it's so unsexy and so unrewarding when you say, “What is the answer?” Well, it's a little bit of both. It's kind staying in the middle. That is not the answer that people … people want to be like, “No, tell me how to yell at people so that they respond.”

Stephanie Goss:

Well, I can tell you how to yell at people.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Or tell me how to love them unconditionally and have infinite … it's like neither of … it's a case by case basis, and you're going to have to keep feeling it out. You're going to swing a little bit like a pendulum, and that's okay. But it's the middle path. It's finding balance. We talk about that every week on this podcast, but that really is what it's about.

Stephanie Goss:

Yeah. I have learned. Sometimes I pull a little from both sides, do you need me to mom you right now? I've stopped yelling at people. I've stopped being the one that's like, “Let me make you afraid of me. Do you need me to mom? You? Do you need some accountability? I can do that.” Do you need a hug right now? Just like, do you need some love right now? Because I can lean into that too, but from the middle ground.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I've heard the question, do you need to be heard, hugged or helped? I'm like, no, nothing. Do you need to be heard, hugged or helped.

Stephanie Goss:

I like it.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah. There was this bit on The Office, and they asked Michael Scott, “Would you rather your employees fear you or love you?” He said, “Easy, both. I want them to fear how much they love me.” I'm like, I can relate to that. I get that. Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:

I love it.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah, it's some of that. I got my last one that I'll put down is again, I am still not a patient person, as you know.

Stephanie Goss:

You're not? I'm shocked.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Boy, I've come a long way. I have come a long way, but I had a long way to come. So yeah.

Stephanie Goss:

Yeah, you have.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I'm still not a patient person, but I've gotten much more patient.

Stephanie Goss:

Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I did not understand the value early on of slowing down to go fast. I didn't believe it. I heard people say things like that, that slow is smooth and smooth is fast and as far as working with your team. Either I didn't believe it or I didn't really understand. The number of times that I have tried to cut corners and he's like, “Just tell everybody. Don't go through the process of asking what they think. We don't need to pre-wire. We don't need to have side conversations ahead of time. Just get them in there, and let's tell them what's up or what's going on. We'll tell them what the deal is and they'll understand.”

Those things have gone wrong so many times, so many times. It's taken me 20 years to get to the place where I truly recognize that sometimes slowing way down and bringing everybody together and having the conversation and listening and walking people through what the idea is is so much faster than trying to just tell them what the deal is and what we're going to do.

I just didn't get that. Also, in the same vein, I always wildly overestimated how much I could accomplish in a year. Always. I was like, this year we're going to do these things, and we're going to do all. I was always way short of what we could do. I would look at a team of 25 and be like, “We'll get them on board in a week.” No, we won't. No, we won't. There's nothing we're doing with 25 people in one week. It's just not. But I've come a long way in that regard where we overestimate what we can do in a year, and we underestimate the distance we can cover in 10 years. So getting my head into a more mature place of like, “You know what, we're going to think about what we're doing by quarter and say in three months, what are we going to fix? What are we going to do?”

Then the next three months, we're going to fix something else. People go, “God, that's slow.” I was like, “Yeah, but I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to stop. We are going to keep fixing things, and we're going to keep going.” Yep. We're going to take our time, and we're going to explain things to everybody, and we're going to pilot things and make adjustments, but we are going to keep going. I just didn't get that when I was young. I wanted to put the pedal down. I really thought that if you had great ideas and you had the right answer, people would hear you and know it was the right answer and get on board. That has not been true. I think there's this thing where people come out of meetings and go, “God, that meeting could have been an email.”

I've come to hear that and think could have been an email if you would read email. If you would read email, it could have been an email. If you could read email thoughtfully and deeply and then ask questions in response to the email, could have been an email, but that ain't happening. None of that is happening. Especially it's not happening across a group of 25 to 50 people. It's not happening.

Stephanie Goss:

True story.

Dr. Andy Roark:

So it could not have been an email. It had to be us all coming together, and walking through, and taking questions, and working together, and everyone doing the new process so they could see how it felt. That's the level of slow one foot in front of the other baby steps that had to happen in order for us to actually get traction and make this sink in and people to actually do it, make the changes we're talking about.

Stephanie Goss:

It's funny because we have been going through incredible growth as a company over the last two years, but really over the last nine or 10 months. It's funny because you and I have had some conversations about walking our talk. You and I have talked about how we talk about this stuff every day. You and I are teaching. We're doing workshops. We're lecturing. We're doing the podcast. We're talking to people. We're engaged in the community. We're having the conversations, and we're talking about these lessons. The slowing down to go fast is a really good example. We have to force ourselves to remember. We're talking about it, but this is hard work, everybody.

We are not immune to it. You and I have had that conversation and have grown in our relationship to be able to say, “How are we doing?” On a scale of one to 10, 10 being where we are listening to every piece of advice we would give a mailbag listener who writes into the podcast, and zero being it's a freaking free for all, where are we at? Having to look at ourselves honestly and hard as leaders and say, “Are we showing up the way that we want to show up?” The answer is not always yes. The answer sometimes is no. It's really hard work. So there's lots of times where people look at us, and they're like, you and Andy just … you always have great answers, and you know what to say. I'm like, “Oh, that's because we get it wrong sometimes just as much as we get it right.”

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah. I think a lot about running teams and running businesses is it's a lot going to the gym where, yeah, there is technique. You can learn the proper technique for lifting and things like that. You still got to pick up the weights, and the weights just get heavier. As you move up, they're just heavier weights. So you always … again, I'm working hard not to do crossfit metaphors.

Stephanie Goss:

I was waiting for it. I'm like, he's talking about the gym.

Dr. Andy Roark:

No, I'm not doing it. We're not. We're just talking about a gym, a random gym. But it is that. Right? It's simple. That doesn't mean it's easy. Some days you're tired, and some days you just don't have it.

Stephanie Goss:

You want to cut the corners.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Exactly right. Some days you cut corners, and then you're like, “Oh, I got to go back and fix this now.” Again, it's simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. The unfortunate thing is, and I've heard this from the absolute top people in massive corporations, that you're like, “Those people are crushing it.” They're like, “It never gets easier.” I'll give you just a random example, I don't give my … I talked to Paul Pion, Dr. Paul Pion, who's the founder of Vin. And Vin is a huge company and a wonderful company. They do so much for our profession. I called Paul Pion one time. I was like, “Hey, I got this thing I'm wrestling with. What are you thinking?” I sort of talked to him a little bit. Basically, I was like, “Have you figured out how to make this problem go away?” He was like, “No, no.” I was like, “You got advice?” He was like, “Buckle up. It doesn't get easier.” That was it. He hung up the phone. Anyway, thanks. He hung up.

Stephanie Goss:

Andy's like, well.

Dr. Andy Roark:

It was not the pep talk I was looking for, but it also made me feel better where it's like, I don't know what the hell you're supposed to do. I've been doing this a lot longer than you, and it still bugs me. I'm like, okay. I found comfort. I found comfort in that well, least I'm not suffering alone.

Stephanie Goss:

No one's got it all figured out.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah, exactly. Okay. That was it.

Stephanie Goss:

Oh, this was fun.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Oh man. Thanks for doing this with me.

Stephanie Goss:

It's always a good episode when we end and we're both laughing.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Oh yeah. It was so fun. I love this job.

Stephanie Goss:

Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark:

I love this job.

Stephanie Goss:

Me too.

Dr. Andy Roark:

It's not easy, but man, I do love it. I tell you, just turn it back real quick on Uncharted for a second. I was like, the best thing is being with people who have shared hardship. It's never easy.

Stephanie Goss:

For sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:

The weights are always heavy. As you get better, you just seem to find bigger weights. Then that's just what it is. So everybody's struggling, I think.

Stephanie Goss:

Well, and I think that's one of the things I love the most. What I love about your conversation with Paul is he could have leaned into the toxic positivity and been like, “Oh yeah, you'll figure it out and everything will be great.” But sometimes the best thing you can hear is like, “I get it. I don't have the answer. I got nothing. The suck doesn't go away.”

Sometimes just hearing that and just hearing … and I get it, I see you, the virtual hugs, that's one of the things that I love the most. I think is one of the hardest things to explain to people about a community like ours. It's just that shared connection of like, “Yes, sometimes you have all the advice in the world.” Sometimes it's just showing up for each other and being like, this does suck, and you'll get through it, and being the cheerleaders for each other.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Oh yeah. Well, there's that old story I like to tell about the person who falls in the hole and a bunch of people walk past him. He calls for help, and then they superficially try to help from up high. Then his friend comes and jumps into the hole with him, and the guy's like, “Oh, I really appreciate you jumping into this hole with me. But now we're both stuck.”

The friend goes, “Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know how to get out.” You go, “Ah, that's really useful.” So it is kind of that thing with Uncharted is to be like, “I've been down here before.” Sometimes that's all you really need to hear is not like … there's problems we all wrestle with that you don't expect there to be a magic solution that makes everything go away. Sometimes you just want to hear from somebody else who's like, “Man, I had the same feeling. I got stuck in the same way. This is what I did and it took some time, but I called my way out of it, and you will too.” You go, “Okay, cool. So I'm not a doofus for ending up here.” The answer is no.

Stephanie Goss:

Well, have a great week, everybody.

Dr. Andy Roark:

Yeah, thanks everybody.

Stephanie Goss:

Take care.

Well, everybody, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. Thanks so much for spending your time with us. We truly enjoy spending part of our week with you. As always, Andy and I enjoyed getting into this topic. I have a tiny little favorite ask, actually two of them.

One is if you can go to wherever you source your podcasts from and hit the review button and leave us a review. We love hearing your feedback and knowing what you think of the podcast. Number two, if you haven't already, hit the Subscribe button. Thanks so much for listening, guys. We'll see you soon.

Andy Roark, you were right.

Written by Dustin Bays · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: hindsight, lessons, Practice ownership, reflection

Jul 12 2023

Lessons Learned from Leadership – Part One

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management geek Stephanie Goss are changing it up big time today. Stephanie recently was asked a question by a fellow manager who is newer to their management position “What lesson(s) do you wish you had learned about being a leader BEFORE you became a leader? Andy and Stephanie got SO into this topic that this will be part one of a two part series. We just couldn't fit all the amazing conversation into one episode. Let's get into this… (and stay tuned next week for part two!)

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 240 – Lessons Learned From Leadership – Part One

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

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Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. Well, this episode is going to be a little bit different from Andy and I's usual. We're not getting into headspace or necessarily action steps in this episode. What? Yes, I mean it. We're doing something different, and I am so glad that you all are along for the ride. I'm not going to spoil the surprise. I'm just going to say, “Let's get into this.” And now the Uncharted Podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie, I'm learning to fly, and I ain't got wings, Goss.

Stephanie Goss:
How's it going? Andy Roark.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Holy moly. It's good. It's good. We're in the summer here. Things are good. The kids are doing some camps and stuff. They started sewing camp yesterday.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, fun.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, at… What's the place called? It's called something like Sew Enjoyable. S-E-W.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh, that's cute.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, it's just led to so many puns-

Stephanie Goss:
Uh-huh.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… in our house.

Stephanie Goss:
Dad jokes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Oh, it's so expensive. And so, yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
You are already good at puns and bad dad jokes. I can only imagine your poor daughters and your poor wife the last 24 hours.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I've been needling them. It's a whole thread. It's a whole thread. Yeah. It's been constant. It's been constant since yesterday, so anyway.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh.

Dr. Andy Roark:
So anyway, how are things with you?

Stephanie Goss:
We're starting the summer off with a bang. Got a kid that's got the stomach flu and another kid that had to go and get vaccines and is not feeling so hot. So you know it's-

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh boy.

Stephanie Goss:
… why not? Let's just get it out of the way. But overall, it's great. It has been sunny. Today is…we're back to rain in Washington, but it's been sunny and beautiful, and I cannot complain. Things are good.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh man, we've got big stuff going on at the Uncharted World that you and I have been working on.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes, we do.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Holy moly. July 11th is a big day. That is when we are launching a number of registrations for all the different stuff we got going on in the fall. Guys, holy crap, Uncharted is blowing up in the back half of 2023. I told you guys, I told you this was a huge year for Uncharted. We're going to keep rolling out stuff.
You ain't seen nothing yet. But on July 11th, we are putting on sale our first-ever Medical Director Summit and our Team Lead Summit. Both of them are one-day virtual events that are only open to medical directors, and the other one is open only to team leads. So when I say team leads, I'm talking about head technicians, head CSRs, kennel leads.

Stephanie Goss:
Head kennel. Uh-huh.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yep. Head kennel, things like that. And again, and that's why I call it team leads because every hospital is a little bit different in how they break those things out and what they call them. But this is for people who are leading a team. I really hope that doctors come to this. I hope that doctors who are dedicated to working hand in glove with their technicians and are like, “I run a team. It's a tech team.
And so me and my technicians and assistants are a team, and I am a team leader, and I might not have a title. I might not have an official designation, but I see myself as a team lead and I run this team.” I want you to come there because we are going to be working on the skills that you need to be a team lead. Meaning you don't own the place. You're not the high boss. You've got bosses you have to keep happy, and you're also looking out for your people and making their lives better. So that's our Team Lead Summit.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, you're leading from the middle. I am super excited about that one because when I was a lead CSR, there was not community. There was not a place that I could go where I could connect really easily with other lead CSRs who understood the challenges of being on the floor and being… trying to lead people and trying to have private one-on-one conversations and see what the pulse was of the team, right. It is a balancing act, and I'm excited for that.
And I am really excited for the same reasons, but for our Medical Director Summit because that is a challenging job whether you're in private practice or you're in corporate practice when you're balancing the medicine side of things. And usually, that role means balancing a partnership with the practice manager on the other side. And so I am super excited to get into that relationship structure and how do you lead as a team of two and stay in step and do kind of all of that focused stuff for medical directors. I'm super excited for that.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. I don't think anybody has done more work with medical directors than we have in the last three years, three to five years. I really don't. Literally hundreds of medical directors we work with. I mean, this is going to be all about managing down while managing up, while also working with doctors and focusing on doctor retention and building culture and things like that. People don't realize your medical directors are stuck where you're like, no, not stuck in a bad way. But you have definitely got pressure. You have a direct boss. You have to manage. You have to… It's the medical director role is this amazing challenging place of balance.
It's balancing what the team needs. It's balancing the doctors and maybe some egos of the doctors and different perspectives of the doctors. And also balancing operational pressure coming down to shield your team and then also meet objectives. And you are trying to do so many different things with so many different pressures. And that's why we wanted to break out and have a one-day summit just for medical directors. It's like there's not another role that has these same pressures coming from different places.
And it's like we've just got so much experience balancing these things and working with these people, and I was like, “Man, we are going to have…” And it's just one day it's going to be a deep dive, but it is going to be something that people are going to really come away and go, “Oh, man.” If nothing else, you're not going to feel alone. If you are like, “Oh man, this is kind of a lonely job.” Come on, buddy. Come and come and see what we're doing and come and be a part of it, but you're not alone, and we're going to go ahead, and we're going to help you out. So anyway, that's the Medical Director Summit too.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. And then we are getting ready to go back together in person. We've got another virtual event in October. We're doing our Culture Conference, but then we're back in person in Greenville in December, and that is also going up an opening for registration. So there is so much happening July 11th. And so if you were like, “I need to know what they are doing,” we got you because it's coming July 11th.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Unchartedvet.com, check out our events. Boy, we got a lot going on. So anyway.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark:
So we're great.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, so we were talking about leaders, and I'm excited because today's episode is probably going to be a little bit different. I don't know so much that we're going to break out into headspace or action steps, although you could convince me otherwise. But I got asked a question recently by someone in our Uncharted community who is a newer leader, and they said, “Well, I have this question, but I'm not sure that it fits your mailbag format, but I would love to hear you and Andy talk about it on the podcast.”
And I was like, “Great, tell me what your question is.” And they were like, “I would love to know what some of the lessons you and Andy wished that you had learned before you became leaders. What are some of those things that you look back in hindsight, you're like, ‘Oh man, I wish that I had learned this lesson or I had been able to get this knowledge before I stepped into this role.'” And I just thought, how fun is this going to be for you and me to talk through?

Dr. Andy Roark:
I love this. I saw this, and I was like, “I'm so happy to do this.” Yeah. So yeah. So I went after this. I started jotting things down on a post-it note as I do, and it's a full post-it note. So we're going to see how this goes. The first thing I thought about when I started jotting this stuff down is like, “Are there things that I know now that I did not know early on?” And I wonder if I could have known them-

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… without having gone through it.

Stephanie Goss:
Perspective. Mm-hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark:
There's a saying that I like. I've said it recently on the podcast, I think, “But the owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of dusk.” And the idea is the owl of Minerva is this symbol of knowledge and wisdom, right, and it spreads its wings only at the falling of dusk means basically we get it at the end.

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
We only get knowledge and wisdom at the end.

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And I'm like, “Is that really true, or are there things that we can learn and avoid headaches?” So I don't know, I'll start laying some stuff down. I don't know if I would've understand what I'm going to say at the very beginning, but I think some of it would've sunk in. I think so.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. I mean, I think that when I sat down, and I started making notes for myself, I was like, “Either what are the things?” There were things that I think I would have understood then I wouldn't have understood them with the depth and the context that I can understand and appreciate them now.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
Because as you walk down the road, sometimes you learn the same lesson more than once in a different way, and it gives you new perspective and it gives you more dimension to the lessons that you learned previously. But I would agree with that. I think sometimes there are those things that, until you go through it, you just don't appreciate it the same way.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, let's just jump in this.

Stephanie Goss:
All right.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Let's go back and forth. You want to trade?

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. Yeah. Let's…

Dr. Andy Roark:
Do you want to go first or do you want me to?

Stephanie Goss:
You go for it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Okay. Well, I will start with a big one for me.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark:
So one of the big ones in my career that I really wish that I could have known would have saved me from burning out three years ago. So when I burned out 2019, it was not fun. I would not recommend it. I would not do it again. But I learned a lot.

Stephanie Goss:
10 out of 10 would not recommend.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, exactly right. But I learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about life. It's one of those things where I wouldn't trade the scars away if I could because I learned a lot.

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And I will say the number one thing… I learned a couple of things, right? I learned mostly you can't make people happy, and you need to know that. And I think-

Stephanie Goss:
Mm-hmm. Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… I would say that I'm going to leave that as my opening statement there is you can't make people happy. Only people can make people happy.

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Only they can make them happy. And I started off as a young leader, and I was like, “If someone is unhappy, I'm going to fix that.”

Stephanie Goss:
Fix it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
“I'm going to be so good that they have to be happy.”

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And that is fantasy.

Stephanie Goss:
Right.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You can't make someone happy. You can only do what you can do, and then they can be happy or not. And so then you say, “Okay. Well, I've always thought…” And again, that's how I was as a young leader. “I thought I will know that I'm good at my job because people will tell me I'm good at my job because they'll be happy.” They'll be happy with me. They'll say, “You're the best boss ever. Hey, I love what you guys are doing. And it's incredible.”
So if you can't make people happy and you buy that, then the question then becomes, “Well, how do I know that I'm doing a good job?” And the answer to that that I learned over the years is you need to know what your values are. You need to know what you care about. And so, you and I talk a lot about core values and things like that, but you need to know what you care about. So at the end of the day, do not look around and ask yourself, “Did I make everyone happy?”
Look around and say, “Did I live my values today? Was I patient? Was I kind? Was I honesty… Was I honest? Did I [inaudible 00:12:07] with integrity? Did I work hard? Did I learn something? Am I a better doctor or team leader today than I was a year ago? Am I compassionate? Was I empathetic?” And if the answer to all those things is yes, then good, God man, you are good. You're doing great. But I think a lot of times, we ask ourselves the wrong question because we think we can make people happy, and we just can't. And I wish I had known that.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah, I can… That totally sits with me as well. And if I think back to my early days as a leader in my team was honestly before I even had an official role or a title, I just was someone on the team who stepped forward and said, “Well, I could do this thing, and I could get my peers excited about doing these things.” And there was a lot tied for me in terms of my own happiness with everybody else being happy because the drive was, I like coming to work, and I like hanging out with my friends, especially as a leader from the middle of the team. I was like, I'm friends or friendly with everybody on the team. I like coming to work. I like having fun, and therefore I'm measuring a good day and I'm measuring success on whether we were happy today. You know?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
And whether we enjoyed it. And so when the bad days were bad it was really hard for me not to take that personally and be like, “I'm the cheerleader of the group. I could have made it better.” And I definitely… that resonates for me because I think I spent a lot of time in that place of feeling like, “I can do a better job at this.”
And I think your point of coming to that realization that the only person that I can control is me. And I can control my reactions to things, and I can choose my state of mind, and I can't help anybody else do that. I can influence, and I can support, and I can coach, but at the end of the day, they have to choose it. And I don't have any control over that.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. It's like I want to hold myself accountable to be the person that I want to be. And if… It's all I can do, and good things will radiate out from that, I believe it. But not every day. Some days you'll be the person that you think is the right person to be. That is a good person. That is the person you aspire to be. You will be your best version of yourself. And someone will still get angry at you and call you a jerk.

Stephanie Goss:
Yep.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And tell you that they're never coming back to your clinic again.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark:
It'll happen.

Stephanie Goss:
Totally.

Dr. Andy Roark:
But you can't get distracted by that. You have to keep leaning into being the person you want to be. The other thing I took out of just really burning out was the story I tell about there is no dragon. And the story about there is no dragon, if you've never heard me tell, it basically comes down to this is I truly believed for 40 years basically I believed that there was some magical dragon that I had to slay that some challenge, some accomplishment that I could do. And if I did it, I would know I was successful. I would know I was a good person. I would know that… Yeah. I would know that my life had been important or meaningful. And anyway.
But for 40 years I… And the dragon would change, right. It would morph. At first, it was, “I'm going to go to a good college.” And then it was like, “I'm going to go to medical school.” And then it morphed into, “No, I'm going to go to graduate school, or I'm going to go… And when I get… if I get into vet school. And then if I graduate from vet school and then if I get this certain job.” And it just never… “I'm going to get married. I'm going to do.” And it just kept going and kind of morphing in different types of ways. And it was like, “Then I'm going to work for myself, and I'm going to do all these things.” And man, it never ended. And I would pick a dragon, and then I would… I'd get there, and I would slay it. I would graduate.
I would find the girl I was going to marry. I did the things, and the emptiness never went away. And I never felt like, yep, that I'm done now. And I think I always thought that you would pick a dragon and you would slay it and then you would live happily ever after and that the scene would fade out and the credits would roll, and you would know that you were done and you would just be satisfied. And the truth is, guys, we are as human beings, we're not made to be satisfied. There is no dragon that you're going to slay that is going to make you feel the way you think you'll feel when you succeed. And that may sound really horrible. And I don't mean it to be. I think it's just the truth of human nature.
And so when I say there is no dragon, what I learned because I went through this burnout. I burned out because, man, I travel all the time. I work constantly, and I wanted to be all things to all people. And I mean, I just poured myself so into what we were doing at the time. And it was good stuff and meaningful stuff, and it was all the right stuff. And I hit all the measures that people seem to care about. I had the dream job and you know, a super happy family life and everything. And I just still just kept being like, “Why am I not happy? Why am I not satisfied?”
And there was just no way off of this treadmill until, finally, I burned out. And that is when I realized there is no dragon. The thing you're trying to slay, it doesn't exist. And so I wish that I knew that of the thing that you think you're going to accomplish is going to make you happy or make you satisfied or make other people know that you are valuable. You know what I mean? That you're worthy. That thing is not real, and it doesn't exist. And you can go try to slay it, but it's not going to solve what you're looking for.

Stephanie Goss:
That's a tough one, right. I think-

Dr. Andy Roark:
That's heavy. Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
I think about it in the context of, and I think you're spot on, and the reason why I think you're spot on is because I think about the studies that they have done on people who have won the lottery. And I think for a lot of us, we look at, “Well, if we had more money, I could not have to work as much, or I could pay off my bills, or I could travel.” For each of us, it's a different personal thing that we think that we would do and improve our lives in some way when you have more money than you have. And that's an exciting thought. And they have done the studies to show… to look at the happiness and the success factors after people win tons of money in the lottery. And it doesn't. You just trade one set of circumstances for another is what they've shown time and time again.
And so I think your thought about human nature there is spot on, that we're not… that's not… that's the story we are told from the time we're little children is if we just do this thing or we just get to this next place, then more will come, or the next reward will come or whatever. We're just conditioned that way. And I remember vividly actually the first time you talked about the dragon, and you were working on a keynote for, I think it was our very first virtual Uncharted during COVID. You were working on something that was… Everybody was tired. Everybody was overwhelmed. Everybody was like, “Oh dear Lord, what are we doing?” And I remember you and I having this conversation and talking through it, and I was like, “Ooh, this is going to be good.” And I remember when you did the keynote that involved this story, and I remember this feeling of the light bulb went on not only for me but for so many of my peers.
And you could kind of see it on the screen as like, Oh. Oh. That resonates.” I have been chasing a thing, whether it's practice ownership or something in our personal… Whatever it is, so many of us are looking at that dragon and trying to figure out how to slay it. And what I loved was the way that you tied it up, and you talked about what if the question wasn't how do we find the dragon and slay it, what if the question was about what are we going to do along the way? What are the stops that we're going to enjoy on this adventure? If you look at it from a quest. And I love it because it was super nerdy, and that's something you and I share together, and I love this story aspect of it. And I could picture myself on dragon slaying journey.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
But stopping and thinking and thinking about our lives, and it's very… there are people who would be like, “Oh, that's so touchy-feely, philosophic.” But I really think that it's true. If we think about what are the things we want to enjoy along the way because the dragon's still going to be there. Slaying it is not going to make the difference. So what if we just leave the dragon alone?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Yeah. So you're exactly right. So the research on lottery winners, I'm glad you brought it up because I love that. The research says that if you win the mega bajillion dollars in the lottery, your happiness will increase for about three months on average. And after about three months, you are back to being… you are at the same level of happy as you are now. And the reason for that is what's called the hedonic treadmill, which means it's just we are wired to whatever the great thing is that happens to you, it becomes normal for you, and you adjust back to where you were before in this new normal.
And that's how we're made is the hedonic treadmill. So you're exactly right. So you're exactly right. The key to there is no dragon, the answer that I had to burn out to find is if there is no dragon, then what the heck are we doing? And the answer is you have got to focus on and enjoy the experience that you are having, not the outcome you are trying to achieve. It's not about killing the dragon. It's about enjoying the quest to find the dragon and finding meaning in that quest.
And that's the real beautiful part. That's the take home. Whatever it is, when you are like, “I'm going to do that thing, and it's going to make me happy, or it's going to make me satisfied.” What I would say is, “All right, tell me about how it's going to make you feel when you accomplish this?” And the way you imagine it. When you imagine slaying this dragon, how is that going to make you feel? And then I would say, “Great, just so you know it's not… that's not going to happen.”

Stephanie Goss:
Right.

Dr. Andy Roark:
However, what can you do right now to feel that way?

Stephanie Goss:
Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
What can you do right now, in the moment, if you're like, “I'm going to do this big thing, and my team will love me, and I will be popular” I'll be, “Great. Just so you know, that's not going to happen.”

Stephanie Goss:
Right.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You're going to do it. Hey, you might crush it, and they'll be happy for a week, but that is a home run grand slam right there-

Stephanie Goss:
Not necessarily.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… is a week.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark:
But that's all it's going to be. So the real thing is, what can you do to be popular with your team right now? What can you do to make them smile or even… They don't have to all be together, but what can you do to make your team know that you care about them that doesn't involve having the best year ever so you can take them on a cruise. What can you do today just to tell them that they matter to you. And to show them. Go write a thank you note. I mean, seriously, that doesn't mean give up, keep going after your dream, but man, write a thank you note and mean feel good about it. And say, “Man, I'm so grateful for my team. I'm writing them a note. That's what I doing.”
And just hold that trophy and be happy about that because that is the quest towards the dragon that you're trying to slay. And it's like, “Man, 40 years, I didn't enjoy that. I didn't write the note because I thought I was going to do the massive thing at the end that would make everybody know and then make me know that I had accomplished the thing.” And I was like, “No, write the note. Ask somebody to go out to lunch bring them ice cream sandwiches.” Just whatever the thing is you're trying to do. If you are like, “I want to be rich. Well, it ain't going to make you happy.”
How will you feel when you're rich? “Well, I'll feel safe.” I go, “Okay, good.” Let's start to make a little emergency savings account that's going to make us feel safer because that is something we can do right now, and we can start to have that experience of building some safety. That's the thing that we're really looking for. So anyway, that's that sort of the takeaway from there is no dragon is remember that. I got to tell you guys. I think the number one thing… Now I'm all fired up.
I think the thing [inaudible 00:24:43]. This is about being in medicine. It's also been about being a leader is there is no dragon. The best part of medicine is the mundane thing you are doing today. It is going into the exam room and talking to the pet owner, who does half of the things that you recommend, right. That's it. Go. So enjoy it. Go enjoy it. Just decide that, “I'm going to go meet a new person. I'm going to talk to them, and their dog is nice, and I'm going to work with my assistant, who I really like, and I'm going to crack some sewing puns, and we're going to chuckle.” They're like, “Good. That's the good stuff, man. That's it. It's the day-to-day just I get to pet dogs and cats all day.”

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And I'm going to fix this thing. And man, when a thank you note comes, don't wait to win the vet of the year award. Just hold onto that thank you note and be like, “Yeah, this is the good stuff.” And that's what I mean when I'm like, there's no dragon. It's all the mundane things of just chuckling with the owner when she tells you about how her dog does this goofy thing.

Stephanie Goss:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Just like everybody, you know exactly what I'm talking about. We've all had those interactions that they don't mean anything, but you are laughing, and they're laughing, and the dog is just wagging his tail. And I'm like, “Man, that's the good stuff right there.” And so the key, I think, is to wring all the enjoyment out of that you can and hold onto it. That's how you make it. That's what success looks like.

Stephanie Goss:
Hey friends, as you heard Andy and I talk about in the beginning of the episode, July 11th was the day, the big special, amazing day when we were launching registration for a whole bunch of new programs that we have coming through Uncharted. Today, the day that hopefully you're listening to this episode is, either July 12th or it's after July 12th, which means registration is now open for our upcoming October virtual Culture Conference for our Medical Director Summit, for our Team Lead Summit, for our practice owner, practice manager, practice leaders summit, in person in Greenville in December and more. So as a podcast listener, I want you to head over to unchartedvet.com/events, that will show you all of the amazing things that we have coming because I want to see you at an event.
There is going to be so much fun happening this fall, and you do not want to miss out. Head over to the website now, and now back to the podcast. Okay. I was going to go a completely different direction with my first one, but I'm going to completely change course and piggyback off of what you were just talking about. It wasn't even on my post-it, but since you were talking about that, I think that is so… it set off a light bulb for me because I'll tell you, when I hit the point of burnout for me as a manager, I was kind of at the top of my career in the sense that I had all the promotions. I was at the top. I had been… had ownership experience at that point. I was making decisions. I was truly a hospital administrator running my practice. When you think about the path to leadership in veterinary medicine for a manager, I was there.
And all the things that I loved about veterinary medicine and all of the reasons why I got into veterinary medicine, I spent very little time doing any of that. My time, day-to-day, was consumed with meetings and planning and spreadsheets, and all of the administrative work, which I also love. I love a good spreadsheet. We know this. And getting to be in an exam room and have that mundane conversation to see a client the first time their puppy comes into the vet or to be in the room when somebody says goodbye to a member of their family. Those are the things that I enjoy. And it doesn't have to be the big… I was never the technician that liked the big splashy things. I freaking hate surgery. I was never the one who was like, “Ooh, get me in the middle of a big giant bloody mess.” That was never me.
Put me in an… I will sit in the lab and do parasitology all day long. Put me in an exam room for the boring ear and skin conversation. I will gladly do that because for me it was about the little moments helping an owner have that light bulb go off where they're connecting what they're doing at home and what they're feeding their pet to the problems we're seeing in the exam room, whatever. That was the joy for me. And what I realized as a leader when I got to that point was to not allow myself to become so disconnected from that why. It was really easy when I sat back, and I was talking it through with my therapist. I was shocked at how easily I let all of that go and how quickly I became disconnected, not only from my joy and excitement about my job but from my team.
And so I would be on the floor, and I would be working with them and hearing what's going on and hearing… I was still doing that, but my mind was on the other things that were sitting on my desk that I had to deal with or the phone call… the difficult one-on-one that was coming up at the end of the day, or the angry client I knew that I had to call back. My mind was somewhere else a lot of the time, and I wasn't actually being present in the moment with my team. And so, I really worked hard to spend intentional time. It was really hard for me. It was a lot of change. It was turning off notifications on my phone. It was turning off my Apple Watch.
So I stopped getting some of the notifications, really truly being present with my team and making intentional time. And I'll never forget. I had a team member who made probably one of the biggest differences for me. It was actually a team member that I really kind of struggled with managing. But she came into my office one day, and she had a little puppy, and she was just like, “Isn't this thing cute?” And it was so… It was one of those puppies that's so ugly it's cute, and you can't just help but oooh and aah over it because it's just so not cute, but it's cute because all puppies are cute. And I was loving on it and being all excited, and there was lots of high-pitched Stephanie squealing. It was… And she said, “This is the happiest that I've seen you at work in a really long time.”
And, in the moment, it didn't take me. I wasn't as taken aback as I was when I processed it later. But it was funny because, later that week, the same person came back into my office, and she was like, “Ooh, look at this little kitten.” And the second time she came into my office, she was like, “You know, I'm going to make it my mission that when we have puppies and kittens in the building, I'm going to make sure you know about it because you look different.” And I was just like, this is a person that I thought didn't like me as a manager, that I thought didn't care about me. But that was potentially the most caring thing that she could have said to me because I realized she saw me. She saw the look on my face. She saw my enjoyment, and she was true to her word. And she not only came and told me, but she told the rest of the team at our huddle that day. She was like, “Hey, listen up. When we have cute patients that come in the building, Stephanie needs to be told.”
And it was like my team was just like, “Uh.” And she was like, “No, I mean it. The really cute puppies and kittens, but also the really cute gray muzzles. She needs to know about it. And if she's free, you need to make her come out of her office, and you need to make her come pet.” She's like, “Make her hold them, whatever.” And at first, my mind went to that place of, “Oh my God, this is going to be the biggest interruption to all of the things that I had to do.” And I'll tell you, Andy, being forced to put something down that wasn't really that urgent, but I gave urgency to it because I felt like I needed to do it to do my job. My job was really being able to be present with my team and be present for the clients and the patients and have those conversations. And I found myself gladly saying, “I'll go and do that exam room for you. Why don't you get some other things done or take a break or whatever?”
I'll step in to do that mundane stuff, right, because it really connected me with that why and the joy of… the happiness that I actually get in veterinary medicine. And it was really, really easy for me to let myself disconnect from that as a leader. And so I would say I'm glad you said that because that's probably one of the most valuable lessons that I learned was like, don't let yourself lose that. Don't let yourself get so easily disconnected from it because there will always be an email or a meeting or a stack of bills that need to get taken care of. There will always be that administrative work. And unless your power for the clinic is about to get shut off, there's really probably not something that needs to be done right this second that you can't stop and take that moment and just enjoy that for yourself, but also for your team and to connect with your why.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. No, I love that. As far as connecting with your why. And again, I get the example of sort of being in the exam room is what matters, and you talk about cuddling puppies and kittens. I tell you, one of the things that I got my head around recently is I enjoy leading people. I enjoy mentoring and growing people. And one of the things that makes me deeply happy in the moment is working with my people. It's coaching them. It's talking to them about how things are going. It's asking like, “Well, what do you think? What do you want to do? What are you excited about?” And it's just I really enjoy that. And so I'm going to sort of… There's so many ways I want to engage with what you said kind of all at once.
One of the… Good gosh, I could do a lot of different things here. I guess here's where I'm kind of going. I think this is where my inertia is going. One of the things that I would go into from here is I would tell my young self beware of monkey management. And so we talk a lot about monkey management of everybody's got a monkey. It's like a thing that's going on with them. It's something they're struggling with, and they want to give you their monkey. Everyone's like, “Hey, I got this thing. Will you take it?” They're like, “I'm really struggling to get the rest of the front desk staff to do the AAHA standards that we need to do.” And you, at least I, forever was like, “You know what? Servant leadership, I will get involved. I will wade into this.” And essentially, what I'm like is like, “I will help you take care of your monkey. Give it to me.”
But the truth is, as you become a leader and you move up, people are like, “Oh man, she's really good at this. Let's let her deal with this monkey.” And so people get real comfortable at bringing you monkeys to deal with, and then it's off their back, and it's on yours. And I have at times let myself get covered in monkeys because I leaned into servant leadership and been like, “Yep, you tell me what the problem is, and I will wade into it.” And that's… In my mind, I was like, “This is what servant leadership is.” And so what I learned over time is you should be very, very aware of monkeys and who's trying to give them to you. And you should resist them in almost every opportunity, which means it is so easy to say when the person says, “Hey, I'm trying to get the rest of the CSRs to get on board so we can do our AAHA standards.”
It is so… You feel like the right thing to say is, “Let me come and help you.” I would say that's the wrong thing to say. The right thing is, “Well, what has been your plan thus far, and what has happened? And given this is what happened, what do we need to move forward? What does your plan look like?” And just coach instead of wading in unless it is absolutely necessary. And when it's absolutely necessary, try to jump in, do the one thing you said you were going to do, and get back out. But I have gone because I thought I wanted… because I was like, “This is the job, and this is what I need to do,” I have 100% gone way too hard into jumping in and helping people. And then what happened, and the reason I brought this up was I had done this to the point that I have not enjoyed my work in the past.

Stephanie Goss:
Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, for sure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I have gone, and I'm like, “Man, I'm doing 15 different projects, and none of them are interesting to me.” I didn't start any of them, but now I'm doing all of these things because they need to get done, and I don't enjoy doing these projects. What I do enjoy is coaching and mentoring, and leading. But I took myself out of the coach, mentor, leader role and put myself into the coworker role, and now I felt stuck there. And so I had to hit the reset button and go, “You know what, guys? I'm stepping back from this, and I'm going to need you guys.
We're going to come together as a team, and I am letting you know that I am stepping back from this project, and I am elevating a new leader, who I will support.” And then I got back into, “Yes, I really enjoy this. I enjoy working with people. I enjoy the strategy. I enjoy the leadership, but I don't enjoy working on AAHA standards at the front desk. I have no interest in that.” And so anyway, beware of people giving you their monkeys, and you taking them on and resist the short-term goal or the short-term benefit of jumping in and helping people in a way that leads to your own long-term detriment.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, so I'm going to… we're going to go two for two because I'm going to piggyback off of that with something that was on my list. So I think that's so great, and I'm glad that you said it because that also contributed to my burnout as a manager to your point. I was like, “Oh, yeah, okay. I can help you solve that… because I want to help. I want to help you. And so sure, I can help you solve that problem.”
There will never not be someone else's problem, though. And to your point, if you just keep letting the monkeys get dropped off in your office, soon you turn around in your chair, and the office is full of monkeys, and none of them are yours. And because yours are running loose in rampant through the clinic.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
You know?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Well, because your monkeys are important but not urgent. You are working on the things that matter in the long term, and what the monkeys people bring to you, they're on fire.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
These are now monkeys that are on fire, and you're like, “I have to deal with the monkey that's on fire.” And so you leave your important monkey that will one day rule over humanity because it's so important and smart. And you're taking care of some moron flaming monkey that like, “Why am I the one dealing with this?” But here I am because it's on fire.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes. Yes. No, it's totally true.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Let's just stretch this metaphor a little bit farther.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. Well, I'm going to take us away from the monkeys for a second because you said something that made the light bulb go off for me. So one of the things that I was really good at, and I know that I'm not alone. One of the things that I was really good at as the CSR was problem-solving. I like to solve problems, and veterinarians generally like to solve problems. And I've known a whole heck of a lot of really good kennel technicians, vet assistants, techs, CSRs, who really like to solve problems, and we're really good at it. And so someone comes along and says, “Hey, you're really good at solving problems. I would like to make you in charge of all of these people who have problems.”
And I think one of the most important lessons that I learned was very painfully that the things that made me good at my last job won't necessarily make me good at this job because leading people… And I can't wait. I'm hoping someday we get into the argument about managing versus leading. But managing people leading a clinic is a radically different job than being a doer of things to your point. And so I think that I really struggled with that because I had a great practice owners who looked at me and saw potential in me and said, “You know what? You would make a great leader.” And I'm really glad that they did. But the skillset that I had that made me a great CSR did not equip me to be a practice manager and understand the basics of HR or to understand the intricacies of conflict management, or to understand finances and spreadsheets and how to talk to the CPA, right.
And I learned that lesson very much the hard way that I was a really good problem solver, and I could… people could hand me their monkeys, and I could help them. I could help them with that. But that skillset as a leader, when I just let them give me their monkeys, and I tried to help them solve their problems, that made me a really good teammate as the CSR, right. And the other CSRs could be like, “Hey, what do we do about this? Hey, what do we do about this?” And it was fine. I excelled in that role. But when I am sitting trying to figure out the strategic plan for the business for the next year, and everybody's like, “Hey, what do I do with this? Hey, what do I do with this? Hey, what do I do with this?”
That problem-solving skill does not make me a good leader in that moment. If I let them release the monkeys into the office, I am doing myself a disservice, and I'm doing the team a disservice. And so remembering the fact that the skills that made you good at your job won't necessarily make you great at your next one. And that goes in two different directions. One is figuring out for yourself what are the deficiencies and asking for help, right. So getting the training, figuring out the gaps for yourself, really understanding what is the job that you're being asked to do and going after it. And for me, that was a great challenge. I was excited. I love learning.
Let me go to CE. Let me learn all of the things. I was like a little sponge. And I have worked with so many, particularly team leaders, but also with managers who are like, “I got promoted because I was really good at my job. And I like this, or I could do this, but I'm not really happy. And I really liked that job better.” Right. And so a lot of times we promote people because they're good at a thing, but they don't have the skills to make them be equipped for this job. And so I think we all have to remember that as leaders that the skills that made us good at one job don't necessarily make us great at a different job.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. I have a related one that is in my head, so I agree. So completely agree with what you said. I will also say this is a similar but different thing that I learned along the way. I learned that dealing with people is the job. It is the job. It's not this obstacle to me doing the job. And I've very much had that mindset for-

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… 10 years.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I was like, “Man, you know what I'm here for. I'm here to accomplish this goal. And what's in the way? This person who's crying. This crying person who should just deal with it and go on.” And I'm like, “I'm going to talk to you, and I'm going to be nice to you. Do you know why? Because you are in between me and the objective that I'm trying to accomplish, and so I'm going to be nice to you.” They think I was heartless, but I was like this drama, whatever it is, with these people not getting along or being upset, a big part of me was like, this is a distraction to me getting the ultimate outcome I'm trying to get, which is to have the most successful practice in town or to implement this wellness plan.
Like the pushback from the other doctors was an obstacle I had to overcome. And it was just… it was this byproduct, right. The work of relationships, and listening and things like that was an unfortunate byproduct on my way to getting the thing done that I needed to get done. And I mean wouldn't say that out loud, and I don't think… I know that would've verbalized it that way, but to some degree, it kind of was. And what I've come to realize and believe is dealing with the people is the job. That is the job. And by dealing with the people, we'll get that wellness plan done. And by dealing with the people in a really great and productive way, we'll have the best clinic in town because people will stay motivated and feel supported and be engaged in [inaudible 00:46:47].
And they'll feel like they have a mission and purpose and value in their work and things like that. But it's not that you have to deal with their drama so that you end up with a great culture. It's you need to deal with their drama full stop because dealing with people and building those relationships is how you ultimately get the great culture. It's not that the drama is a byproduct. It's that the great culture is a byproduct to you dealing with the people. And when I did that, I suddenly found so much more purpose and meaning and value in sitting down and saying, “All right, tell me what's going on. Help me understand this.”
And I'm going to coach you. I'm like, Right, let's get… I'm getting my notebook here. I want to walk through this with you.” And I did it because this was not a distraction in my way to building great culture. This was the work that builds the great culture. It was the purpose. I was suddenly working on what actually mattered. The whole time I didn't think that. I thought this was in the way of what actually mattered, and it's just not. So anyway, I think I feel like that's related in that way of how we look at people and how we engage with them and how we think about engaging with them that matters.

Stephanie Goss:
For sure. I feel like we are going to have to have a part two to this.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I think so. Yeah. I agree. I was just thinking that [inaudible 00:48:16]-

Stephanie Goss:
Because…

Dr. Andy Roark:
… given that we're halfway through our lists.

Stephanie Goss:
We're not even halfway through our list.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I know. None of what we've talked about is actually on either of our lists. I think it's great. Oh, no, this is much better than what I had.

Stephanie Goss:
This has been so much fun. And in fact, I think we're going to have to put a part two on the calendar because…

Dr. Andy Roark:
[inaudible 00:48:36] let's do it.

Stephanie Goss:
This has been great. Thanks for having the conversation with me. This is fun.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, always. It was super great.

Stephanie Goss:
It was fun departure from our normal structure.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I agree. I agree. I love the mailbag. And if you got-

Stephanie Goss:
Me too.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… something [inaudible 00:48:49] mailbag, send it on.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark:
But this is fun every now and then.

Stephanie Goss:
Yeah. All right. Well, have a great week, everybody. We'll talk to you again soon.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yes. See you everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, gang, that's wrap on another episode of the podcast. And as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question. And I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message. You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can email us at podcast@unchartedvet.com. Take care, everybody, and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Dustin Bays · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: hindsight, lessons, Practice ownership, reflection

Jul 05 2023

I Can’t Afford to Give Them All Raises

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast Episode 239 Cover Image

This week on the podcast…

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management geek Stephanie Goss are in the mailbag to take on a question from a practice manager colleague who is struggling with hiring. They have a candidate who feels like a good culture fit. This is a huge win and probably has you wondering “What is the problem???” Well, this candidate is a good culture fit and they are less skilled than the manager's current assistants. And they are currently making a wage that is both higher than the existing assistants AND over the top end of this practice's pay scale. The manager is wondering what to do but more so, how do they know when it is time to adjust the pay scale? Because they thought they were paying well. This sparked some lively discussion between Andy and Stephanie. Let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 239 – I Can't Afford To Give Them All Raises

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss:
Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I are jumping into a letter that we got in the mailbag from a manager who has a good cultural fit assistant candidate that has been working for another vet in town. And this assistant is making quite a bit more money than this manager's existing assistants. And they are wondering what to do about the situation, but their question isn't what you might think given the situation. This was a really fun one for Andy and I to debate. Let's get into this, shall we?
And now the Uncharted Podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark and the one and only Stephanie I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough Goss. Ah,

Stephanie Goss:
That's funny. I was like, where's he going with this? And then…

Dr. Andy Roark:
Then you got it.

Stephanie Goss:
And then I realized where you were going with this.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Ah, then you got it.

Stephanie Goss:
How's it going?

Dr. Andy Roark:
It's good. It's good. Yeah, things are good. I can't complain. I've been doing the driver's ed with my daughter where she has her learner's permit and so we go out and we drive. And so yes, last night she was like, “All right, we are going out on this big…” It's like it's five lanes in each direction, a big road. And she's like, “I'm doing it.” And my mom was down visiting and I think she wanted to show her grandmother what a good driver she was. And so she was like, “I'm not afraid. We are going out past Target on the big road.” And so she gets in the big road and she's in the center lane and we're just driving and we just keep driving. And finally I was like, “Jacqueline, where are we going?” We've left Greenville, like we're leaving Greer South Carolina. We're in different county.
She's just driving on this big road always in the center lane. And she's like, “No, I'm going to turn around and we just keep going.” And I was like, “Jacqueline, what are we doing?” And I realized that the traffic was whipping by and she was afraid to change lanes and so we were trapped in the center lane of this big road because every time she would like… And then she really started to feel pressure and so she'd put her turn signal on and people were just kind of jerks.
And they would just move into her blind spot. We went another 15 minutes before she could get out of the middle lane. And it was one of those things where you were like, I wanted to be “Jacqueline for God's sake, figure this out.” But that doesn't help the 15-year-old girl who's driving the car-

Stephanie Goss:
Poor Jacqueline.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… feeling a lot of anxiety and she desperately wants to do everything right. And so giving her a hard time is not helping. And also we should apply some pressure here. So I did what I do, which is just lean into humor and I started texting people that I was glad to have known them.

Stephanie Goss:
You're never coming back because you're going to be stuck in the middle lane forever.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Exactly right. I was like, “Tell Hannah her father loved her and I'm sorry I wasn't there for her 12th birthday, but just know that somewhere I'm still driving in the middle lane.” At that point I was probably somewhere around Milwaukee.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh man. Hey listen, I've driven out by your Target and it is crazy. So-

Dr. Andy Roark:
It is crazy.

Stephanie Goss:
… I don't blame her.

Dr. Andy Roark:
No.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. I hate that part of town.

Dr. Andy Roark:
No, just the whole thing reminded me of European vacation with Chevy Chase-

Stephanie Goss:
That's so funny.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You know when he's stuck in the roundabout?

Stephanie Goss:
Yes, yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I'm like, “That was it.” So the roundabout was just a straight road.

Stephanie Goss:
That's so funny. So I had my first driving experience with my kid this last week. Now she does not have her learner's permit yet. She's 14.

Dr. Andy Roark:
So you're just breaking the law.

Stephanie Goss:
Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Okay.

Stephanie Goss:
But I was on our property.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Okay. Was it like a lawnmower driving experience?

Stephanie Goss:
Nope. Nope. She's done that. She's done the golf cart. So we progressed to an actual car and I had to move the cars around in the driveway and I was like, “Sissy, do you want to want to back the one car up and then we'll move the other car and then you can drive it back up the driveway.” And she was very excited.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. This sounds like an idea I would have. This is 100% sounds like an Andy Roark idea of-

Stephanie Goss:
Mow my driveway is-

Dr. Andy Roark:
Just going to get her to park down the driveway. What's the big deal?

Stephanie Goss:
My driveway is not as steep as your driveway, but it is steep and it does have a ditch off to one side. I did not learn my lesson from listening to you talk about Jacqueline, however, there was no falling off the side of… She did great. But what I is, my poor kid is going to be the kid who's literally in a booster seat to drive. She is my grandmother.
Our driveway is steep. And so it's hard enough when you're short to see over. I am very short. It's hard enough to see over the dashboard when you're short. Going straight uphill when you're short is a significant challenge. And bless her heart, she was just creeping because she's like, “I don't want to crash into anything.” And I'm like, “Thank you for not crashing my car, but also can you step on the gas?” Taking 20 minutes to go up the driveway. Oh. But it was that moment of “I'm not ready for this.”

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Oh, it's a whole… Yeah. The joys of parenting never end. But you know-

Stephanie Goss:
I'm not ready.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… philosophically it's funny. That's life in a lot of ways because we don't give ourself enough credit for the hardships that we've overcome. We were all there at some point where we were freaked out to change lanes and now we don't even think about it, but we don't go back and pat ourselves like “Yeah, I got past that.” We get past it and we go on, but it's just funny that that's life. And so I really love where my daughters are right now sort of developmentally in that I'm watching these wonderful people figure out what it means to be an adult human being. And the challenges they're facing are challenges that I can relate to. I get traffic stress, I get it. I didn't necessarily get… I can't find my video I want towatch on YouTube anymore.
That was not a part of my childhood that I relate to. But the stuff when they start acting like real adults, I'm getting it. And so Jacqueline, I think she's going to do some work for us over the summer at Uncharted probably doing some website stuff and some data management stuff, which is sort of an interest of her, but she has to interview for the job. And so she's going to come meet with Tyler and Stephanie-

Stephanie Goss:
I love it.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… and Danielsson and she's going to have an interview with them later this week. And so she's stressing about her job interview at her dad's company.

Stephanie Goss:
Oh my gosh, that's so funny.

Dr. Andy Roark:
But I'm enjoying it. So it's awesome. It's awesome.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it. I love it. Well, I'm excited about today's episode. So we had a mail bag that I just loved and it was from a manager who was struggling because they have a good cultural fit candidate who has been working for another vet in town who is older and getting ready to retire. And they've been with that practice for a long time. And so this assistant unlicensed is making more than the high end of this new practice's assistant pay scale. And so the manager was like, “We have good culture, it's a good environment. There's lots more opportunities at our practice, but when I just look at the finances, this assistant would be taking a pretty significant pay cut to make the change over to our practice.” And they were like, “I really don't feel like I can justify paying them more than the current assistants because my current assistants have more skillset than they do.”
So this is an experienced assistant, but they have a lower set of skills because they have not been doing the same level of things in their current practice. And so that's the backstory. But what the manager was asking was that this made them reflect about their current hiring process and they were like, “I'm worried that I'm not attracting good candidates at our current pay scale, which I thought was pretty competitive and I'm looking at increasing the whole scale, but I have no idea how to tell if I can actually afford that, when I can afford it, how I can afford it.” And they were like, “I've raised prices and I'm planning on a significant price increase again, but how do I know when I can afford to give people raises essentially by increasing my pay scale?

Dr. Andy Roark:
There's a couple of things here. So let's start with head space in general. And so I want to immediately push back on where this is going and just, I'm not saying… Just hear me in terms of head space is where we provide context and we try to zoom out and look at the whole picture. And so one of the things that I want to say, and there's some baseline assumptions here, I think this is interesting. I understand this is definitely coming from a place of privilege, but just hear me out. There seems to be this idea in our culture that as you go through life, you will always make more money. You will make more money and more money and more money. And the idea of making less money than you made before is somehow innately a failure. And I see that a lot and I kind of look at that idea and I push back on it a bit.
Now, I'm not saying I think this sounds a lot differently when we're talking about people who are not making a living wage or things like that. But I'll give you an example. I saw there was this consultant in our industry, he's in vet medicine and he does a bunch of positive psychology and stuff like that. And he's not associated with Uncharted in any way, but his business was growing and he wanted to hire another consultant. And he said, “I'm looking for a young consultant or someone who doesn't have experience. And I would train them and help them and they would work with me and this is a position that we would like to grow.” And he could pay the person something like $60,000, right?
And then I saw a discussion of this in some of the manager groups and stuff in Facebook and uniformly, they were like, “This is offensive that he would offer this job because we make so much more now doing what we're doing managing this hospital. It would be a massive pay cut to go and do this.” And some people were really upset that this job offer existed. And to me, I just sat and looked at it and again, this idea that you have to move upward in pay in your life continuously. I don't think that that's true. And I think it's possible that this person who wants to hire and grow a young consultant and says, “This is what I can pay.”
I don't know that it's about worth or someone says, “Oh, you're not worth that or anything.” It's just a simple matter of this is the opportunity that “We have and this is what it pays. And you have to factor that into your decision of do you want to do this work or not.” And as someone who owns his own business, let me tell you, I have not made more money every year. That has not happened. There's good years and there's less good years. You know what I mean? And I could tell you the first year that I stepped back from being full-time in practice to try to do some of my own weird writing and speaking things, my pay went down. And that's not failure. That's just me saying I'm not being a full-time doctor anymore. I'm being a part-time doctor and I'm doing these other things and that job just doesn't pay as much as the other job.
And again, so there's not anything right or wrong about it and I hope people aren't hearing this the wrong way. My whole point in this is just if this person is a great fit and they think that they would be a great fit and you have a really good opportunity for them, they don't necessarily have to make the same money that they made in their last job in my mind, to come there. I will tell you, I have worked at a couple of places that I would take big pay cuts to work at because their culture was great. And I would say, “Yeah, I get it.” And again, all this is based on I had my needs met, my wife works full-time, like I get it, that's not everybody. But the idea, just this is part of pay scales. If you put pay scales in place, the benefit to pay scales is wage transparency and people kind of know what they make and you get some standardization.
The downside is that sometimes people are going to come and they're going to say, “I'm worth more than what your scale has put in place.” And that's their perception of what they're worth. But they're going to say that and then you are going to feel trapped because you either have to change your scales, which has a big weight attached to it, or you're going to have to say to the person, “I'm sorry, this is what I can offer you based on the scales that we established.” And sometimes I think people think that that's a deal breaker right away. Well this person said “That's what they're currently making and I can't offer them that, so they're not going to take the job.” And I would say “Maybe that's true.” I think that if it saved me 25 minutes of driving in each direction and I was coming to work at a place that had a great culture as opposed to a toxic dump, I would take a rather significant reduction in pay to have that job.
And so anyway, I just want to kind of open up with head space and say, I don't think that we're obligated to match someone's current salary or to give them a raise as they come in. If we have standard pay scales and we have a good reason or just say “This is what we can do,” that doesn't make us bad. And again, the person might not take you up on it, that's their right and their prerogative is to say, “No, I really need to make what I make now because that's what my budget is on.” And that might be a deal breaker for them.
But anyway, I just want to start with that and say just because you have someone who you think would be a good fit and they don't match up with your current pay scale, that's not necessarily the end of the world. It's something that you would need to talk about with that person. But I always put that forward because I feel like people think that it's an assumption that's chiseled in stone is whatever the person has made before we have to match that. And I don't know that that's true.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. So much to unpack there. So two things I want to pick apart. One is I totally agree with you on the taking a step sideways in terms of pay for the right position. And I think that that is totally true and I am 100% on board with that. And I think for a lot of us being in veterinary medicine, we have historically, when we're talking about the paraprofessional staff, we have historically a lot of, I would say as a whole grossly underpaid our paraprofessional staff.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Mm-hmm. I agree. Yeah.

Stephanie Goss:
And so when we talk about the paraprofessional staff, I feel like the conversation has to separate a little bit from the professional staff because I will agree with you 100% like the tracks for me, when I was in the beginning of my career, I had to keep moving up and up and up because I was a paraprofessional staff member who was living on my own and paying my bills and I had to keep making more money because we weren't talking about vast amounts of money, we weren't talking about salary level money, we were talking about hourly wage. So for me, that upward mobility meant changes in my life and my lifestyle and that was a need at that point in my life and allowed me to accomplish desires as well beyond basic needs. And when we talk about the professional staff, I absolutely agree with you and think that I was really happy when I got to the point in my career where I could have the choice to make a move sideways when it came to pay.
And my last two jobs actually, I have taken both when I moved to my last practice, and I'll be candid and share with everybody, when I came to Uncharted you and I had honest conversation because I was making significantly more in the practice when I tied everything up together, my base salary, bonuses, all of those things. And you and I had an honest conversation of this is where the company is, this is the salary schedule that I've set. And for me it was very much to your point about considering what are the things that I'm gaining that have nothing to do with money, the schedule flexibility, the culture, the ability to be doing something that I'm passionate about, all of those things that you spoke to. And it was the same for me in practice. I moved from a practice where I was working 60 hours a week to a practice where I could set my own schedule, where I was able to do Uncharted things as well as be in the practice where I had flexibility.
All of those things had worth and value to me. And so I'm absolutely a believer in that cultural component of it. And I think that it would be tone deaf to not speak to the fact that that freedom and flexibility comes significantly easier when we are professional. And I mean high salary level professionals. The difference between that and paraprofessional staff that is hourly pay wages. Because I think that that piece of the conversation to your point is important and people have the right to say “No, this is a need. I need to make this amount because my budget is set off this.” And professionals have that right as well. I could say as a new vet, that's the conversation that we have a lot of times when it comes to recruiting is like, “Look, if a new grad tells me that they're not going to take less than $150,000 as base salary, great more power to you. If that's what you need, you go, I can't give you that.”
To your point, that may be something that my practice can't do. And I think that when it comes to the wage scales, I love that they're asking this question because I think that the whole point of the pay scales is to have that transparency that you were talking about and to set some equity across the team. And the way that this manager is asking the question, they're talking about it being a good fit and taking the pay cut, and they're talking about the fact that at least they're looking at the fact that they have assistants now who have higher skills and more training and therefore should be making at the high end of their pay scale. And this is how we got to where we are at veterinary medicine because for years and years and years, we as untrained business professionals, managers and practice owners gave into, “Well, this person feels like they're a good fit and they're telling me that they make more money, so therefore I must pay them more to get them on the team and get them in the door.”
And this is what created the inequity in our industry when it comes to pay. And so I'm so proud of this writer who was just like, “Dude, I've already got the pay scales and they're asking great, great questions.” And I think that a lot of us are not even there. And so I love that you opened with that point that if you don't have scales starting with just the thought process that it shouldn't always mean that we increase and increase and increase I think is so great. And I love that.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Well, I appreciate you saying that. I agree with everything. I agree with everything you said. Yeah, I wanted to hit that point on pay scales is to say that's the downside of scales is there will be some person and you're like, “God, they're perfect, but they want more than our pay scale and-“

Stephanie Goss:
Then they're not perfect

Dr. Andy Roark:
And also it's not a pay scale. If you have a pay scale and you break it to get somebody that is unethical. That you've told everyone this is what the deal is and then you've kind of gone and made a deal that doesn't adhere to those guidelines with somebody else. That's not fair. So anyway, but I wanted to put that out just to say I felt like, and I don't know that a writer meant this, but I have seen this very simplistic logic of we have a pay scale. There's someone else who's come to interview, they were getting paid more than our pay scale, which means our pay scale must be raised across the board to match what this other person was receiving. And two things I want to point out to that is just to say, and again, I know most everyone who listens is going to immediately know this or pick up on this.
Just remember, salary and total compensation are not the same thing. And if someone comes to you and goes, “I made this amount of money,” and they're like, great, “Did you get a CE budget? Nope. Did you get vacation? Nope. Did you have a 401k? Did you get any sort of retirement matching? Did you get health insurance? Any of that?” Like “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.” Then you're comparing apples and oranges to say this is the salary. And so anyway, just remember to think in terms of total compensation for sure. And then the other thing is there are some simple things like geography where this person was working in downtown San Diego and now I live an hour and a half outside of San Diego and well, you are not going to make what you made in downtown San Diego because we can't charge what that clinic in downtown San Diego charged.
Those are some basic realities that most people would sort of understand, but also I just want to put them out and go, “Just remember that as we start to talk about this.” I think everybody should hold those numbers loosely. And at the same time, let me just say that sometimes there is this painful thing where someone says, “I want this job,” and you say, “I want you to have this job.” And they say, “I really do need to make this amount of money to make this work for me.” And you say, “I can't give you that amount of money.”
And man, everybody feels bad, but that's not an ethical failing at all. Sometimes it's just the way that it works and that's heartbreaking for everybody when it happens, but sometimes it just happens. And so I think that that is a good opening head space is what we need to look at this with clear eyes and just look at what's possible and set aside some preconceived notions about this person's never going to come here or they can't come here if we can't match what they currently make or we're obligated to give them what they currently make or we're somehow disrespecting them.
I think we have to set those things aside.

Stephanie Goss:
And I love that point and I think that the piece that I would add to it from a head space perspective in terms of trying to make a decision about potentially changing your pay scales. You said, “Do you have this one person who has come and is like, ‘I need to make this amount,' and you're bummed and you're looking at potentially changing your whole pay scale because of this one person.” I would say that the better head space would be to zoom out and say, “This manager asked the question, they're concerned that they're not attracting good applicants.” Are people going on a regular basis? Have you been trying to hire forever and you aren't getting applicants even in the door? Is this the first person who's walked in the door?
Or are you in a space where you do have long-term employees, you're not losing people because of pay and this one person who feels like a good fit has said that this doesn't fit for them. This is where the challenge with scales is because we're driven by people and we're driven by the emotion. This is where we're letting the emotions guide potentially the decision making process and where we have to zoom out and say, “We established the pay scales for a reason,” to your point. “And is there actually a motivation to change the pay scale or are we being swayed by the emotion of the situation because we like this person and we want to hire them?”

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah, I love that. I think if you're going to have pay scales, there's a couple things you have to own and one of them is you should not fall in love with the idea of the new employee. And if you have scales and you're like, “This is what I'm bound to.” This person comes in, they're a great fit, it is easy to fall head over heels and say, “Yes, this is the person for us. We've been waiting for this.” Don't do that because it's going to break your heart really badly when it doesn't work because they don't match into the scales that you have set and the way your business is set up. And that's going to hurt. The other thing is you can't take this personally, which means if this person says, “I'm sorry, I can't come here because my needs are not going to be met.” That's not a judgment on you as a person.
It's not a judgment of your business. It's like you have pay scales and you set them up this way and this is what you're able to do. You can't take it personally. And I think I see both of those things all the time. People fall in love with the hire that they're hoping to make and it breaks their heart when it doesn't happen. And when the person says, “I'm sorry, I can't do it for that,” they take it personally and they're like, “God, my business is a failure. No one wants to work here. I'm the worst. This practice is terrible. Everything is going down. Clearly we're going out of business very, very soon.”

Stephanie Goss:
Get out of new manager Stephanie's head because that was, I remember vividly, it's so funny that you just talked about that because I remember vividly as a new young manager, I was trying to hire a lead receptionist and I had an ad that I had worked really hard on and I found this candidate and she was amazing. And she came from outside veterinary medicine, but she had all of these relatable skills. She was personable, she was warm. I fell in love with her on the phone and then she came in for her interview and I was completely head over heels, like “Will you marry me?” So excited. And then I got to the point in my interview process at the time where I was like, “Tell me what you are looking at for salary.” And she told me a salary that was more than double what my pay scale was because she was coming from outside vet med and she had all these experiences and it was totally justified for the prior industry that she'd been in.
And there was zero correlation at the time to veterinary medicine. And I was crushed. And I was like, “Well, our salary range is here.” And she just looked at me and she was just like, “Oh,” and she was very kind and she was just like, “I am really sorry.” And she had great boundaries and she was like, “I'm really sorry.” She was just like, “That just is not where I need it to be.” And she's like, “I really liked you.” She didn't try and put pressure on, which was great and we parted ways, but you were in new manager Stephanie's head because I was like, “I totally failed. Nobody wants to come work for us. This is awful.” And once I got through all of that, the lesson that I learned the really, really hard way was there are limits, right? There is a structure.
And I knew going in into it, and that was the moment where probably 15 years ago where I started publishing in all of my ads, what our pay scale was and what the position paid because I never wanted to get to that point again where I was heartbroken and I had fallen in love with somebody and then here they are telling me that their expectation and my abilities are two wildly different planets and we're not even in the same solar system. I did not want to get to that space ever again. And so that's kind of an action step thing for me when it comes to hiring, but it seems so simple, but it's amazing to me how many of us do it to ourselves over and over and over again where we have this plan and we don't put it out there. And so I think that's really important, both the, not falling in love with it, but also putting up those boundaries and sticking to them.
And this would be a case where I think our writer said “We have a pay scale. We have a pay scale for a reason.” And if you immediately drop those boundaries because you've fallen in love with somebody, it's only going to hurt you and the rest of your team who is going to be frustrated when you have higher skilled people. We look at our peers who do this, you get somebody who is, you're desperate for a person and somebody comes in and they feel like a good culture fit and your head is telling you “Don't do this,” but your heart is like, “I want to help my people.” And so you do the thing and then one of your existing assistants finds out that the new person who has less skills is making $2 an hour or more. Yeah. And now your whole team is p off.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Exactly.

Stephanie Goss:
That's the exact reason why we create pay skills in the first place.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Oh, you're exactly right. And I'll tell you this, the other emotional part of it too in head space for me very much is offering someone a job is putting yourself out there for judgment. Like asking someone on a date kind of. You know what I mean? Where you're like “Hey, I don't know if you'd be interested in this. I think you're kind of great.” And you're like, “Andy, that's ridiculous because one of them is clearly you putting yourself out there and the other one is just this company that you work for.” And I'm like, “I don't know.” Maybe it's just because I own, it's because I own the company that I work for, but you know what I mean? It sure is. There's a lot of identity tied up in that of I work so hard in a leadership role and I think most managers feel this way and a good manager feels pride in the place that they work and they should because they should be a big part of it.
And so they should, you do feel pride. And so when you're saying, “Hey, this is what I can do for you and we'd like to have you here,” there definitely is some fear of rejection there where someone goes, “No, I can't know, oh, I'm doing so much better at this other place.” You go, “Oh, maybe my practice is not as attractive as I thought. Or maybe we're not doing as good a job as I thought.” And I think a lot of people feel that pain a lot. So anyway, I think for me, all of this kind of comes back around to that head space of try not to fall in love with the idea, try not to take it personally. This is a relationship and it's kind of got to work for everybody. And so let's just start with that and kind of shake it out because I think as soon as we buy into the idea of salaries can never go down.
People will never, ever take less money than what they had before regardless of extenuating circumstances. And if they don't take the job, it's because you are not worthy. I think those are emotions that people actually have, even though they sound ridiculous when you say them out loud, I think you have to set those things aside. That's kind of my big thing. I think the last part of head space that I would say is there seems like there's a number of questions bundled together here.
And whenever I have a bunch of questions bundled together, it always feels like the Gordian knot, meaning it's the magical untiable knot and I'm like, ah, I can't figure this out. And the truth is usually what happens when I'm having feelings like this, I'm having questions like this, one of the healthiest things from a head space standpoint I can do is sit down and say, “What are the questions that I need answered in order to move forward?” And that's the mental process that I use. And so just sort of stepping back, what are the action steps? Well actually you know what, I'm going to put a pause here and say, how do I untangle this? How do we break this down into the action steps or into the questions that we need to get figured out? Let's take a break and then we'll come back and we'll do those as action steps.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay, sounds good. Hey friends,
I just wanted to talk for a quick second about some maths with you all because I've been thinking a lot about the workshops. And normally here's where we tell you what's coming up and we've got some great stuff happening. So you're going to want to head to unchartedvet.com/events and check out the upcoming calendar. But I want to talk about maths because if you are not already an uncharted member, you can attend any one of our workshops and pay $99 a piece. Most of them are just 99. You can do it as a one-off, great and fine. However, that adds up really quick. And if you do the monthly workshop with us, and I've seen some of you there as repeat customers, which is amazing, but you could spend almost $1,200 over the course of the year doing workshops with us.
Or you could pay $699 and get a 12-month membership, which means you get all of the workshops that we do at no extra charge. You also get access to our amazing conversation in the community, our community members and all of our community resources. And it is hopping over there. We've got conversation 24/7, we have got activities, we've got book club. We're writing our handbooks together in Handbook Helper Group this year.
We are talking about development and leadership growth, doing our development pathway this year. We are doing hallway conversations where we're talking about topics. These are sessions that are community led, community driven. It is topics about things that are going on in your practice that you want to talk about with your peers. All of that is happening and it's all included for your $699 membership. So simple math, do you pay almost $1,200 for the year or do you pay $699? If you're not currently a member, you should head over to the website and use this argument to convince your boss, “Hey boss, I need to be a part of this amazing community because Stephanie told me so and because she's telling you that you will save money.” Hopefully that works, but I couldn't resist. I hope to see you at our upcoming workshops again unchartedvet.com/events for everything that's coming. And now back to the podcast.

Dr. Andy Roark:
All right, so let's come back here. So I just said the last thing for me with head space is whenever I have something like this that feels tangled, I need to break it apart. And the way I break it apart is to say “What questions do I need to have answered in order to move forward?” And so the questions here are, what is my current scale really? Which means do not get drawn into the dollar for dollar salary comparison. You need to look at your total compensation package and say, “What are we really doing?” Because it's easy. And I know a lot of practices that are like, “God, we can't pay people.” Well, other people pay them and I'll look. And I was like, “Man, you, you're offering health insurance and you are matching their retirement contributions and you have an EAP and you offer all these other services and you have a generous paid time off plan. No wonder you're not offering the salary that other peoples are.”
That's not right or wrong, it's just different. And beating yourself up because the salary offer you make while you've got these wonder, this nice collection of perks and supplemental things is that that's comparing apples and oranges. So what is your actual scale when we look at total compensation? Because that's what we want to compare to others. The next question for me is, is my pay scale competitive? And I don't know the fact that this one person comes and says, “I made more, I have less skill but I make more of this other place.” Maybe I'm not wrong. Maybe the other place was wildly overpaying this person and I'm sorry-

Stephanie Goss:
That's a thing that happens.

Dr. Andy Roark:
There's a 50% chance that if you go, “Either I'm low or she's high,” or they're both a little bit true, I don't know. And so is my pay scale actually competitive? If my pay scale is not competitive, can I afford to change it right now? And if it's not competitive and I can't afford to change it right now, how can I change it going forward? Meaning I might not be able to afford this person's salary now, or make, make the pay scale shift now. However, if I'm not competitive, I can make a plan to become competitive and maybe I can get this person to come along for the ride and maybe not, but I will remedy this problem and I'll be more competitive in hiring in the future if my pay scale is competitive and I say, “You know what? I'm doing what I can do. I feel like this is a competitive offer. I don't know that this person is going to find someone who will pay her or him what they were being paid at their last job.”
I'm not going to say that necessarily, but I am going to figure out how to present the fact that our scale is competitive and we'd really like to have them there. And I encourage you to shop around, obviously look and look and see what other places can do. This is what we can do and we would like to have you and I think you would be a wonderful fit here. How do I present that knowing that I'm not going to change my scales? And so those are the questions that I have. And if I can go through and answer each of those questions, bam, I'm golden.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, I thought kind of the same way because when I started reading the email, I thought they were going to go in the direction of, “Well, what if I wind up paying them more than I'm paying my existing team?” Which is one question, what is the potential risk factors there?

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Because the answer is don't do that.

Stephanie Goss:
Right.

Dr. Andy Roark:
The answer don't do that.

Stephanie Goss:
But then they-

Dr. Andy Roark:
You have a pay scale. You bought into it. Just so many bad things can happen.

Stephanie Goss:
But then they steered away from that in their email and were like, “That's not actually what I'm asking. What I'm asking is how do I know if I can afford to adjust my current pay scale?” And I think we talked from a head space perspective of do you need to adjust the pay scale? And I think you have to look at that. And I think your point about looking at is this a one off, is this an outlier or is this a consistent trend? And then I love your point about looking at is your scale competitive? Well, how do you know that? Well, you have to know what goes into your scale. To your point, it has to be about total compensation. You have to be able to compare apples to apples instead of apples to oranges. And you have to look at what other people are paying.
And that often is very, very hard to find in veterinary medicine because we are secretive AF. We don't share pay scales freely. We don't advertise as a whole and change is coming. There are lots of us who have been doing that for some time and now states are making it easier because states are requiring employers to provide pay information in their job ads, which I love. I that level of transparency. I think it's only going to benefit us in veterinary medicine. But being able to look at what is actually competitive and then looking at your own team. Are you losing people because of the pay or do you have really long-term satisfied employees? Is there a reason to make this change? And then to your point, the question that they actually asked, I love, and this is where I get super nerdy about how do you actually figure out if you can afford it? And I'm going to give a shameless plug for myself, which is really hard for me to do.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I know, do it, get up on the stage.

Stephanie Goss:
But also for our community. So I have a workshop in our community, in our knowledge library, which is where we house all of the materials from prior workshops and conferences that we've done. And I love this topic. This is a soapbox for me for sure. And I actually have a workshop that I've done about exactly this. How do you figure out how to afford it? And as part of that, I put together a spreadsheet for everybody. And so if you're a community member, you can access that in the library. And if you're not a community member, I'm just saying that's the kind of resources that we share in the community on a regular basis. But that's where I would start as a manager is it starts with a spreadsheet. And I know that not everybody loves spreadsheets as much as I do. In fact, I know Any Roark does not like spreadsheets.

Dr. Andy Roark:
It's not that I don't like them. I do like them, I don't love them like other people do.

Stephanie Goss:
But I have a color-coded spreadsheet for you guys for this.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I know I-

Stephanie Goss:
But I'm going to break it down.

Dr. Andy Roark:
I like a basic spreadsheet that's just-

Stephanie Goss:
I'm going to give the-

Dr. Andy Roark:
… plain numbers. It's just like a vanilla spreadsheet.

Stephanie Goss:
I'm going to give you the vanilla recipe right here. Okay? So the question is how do we actually know if we can afford it? And so what you have to know is what are you currently paying? What is your existing team cost you at their scale? Which means looking at their current wages and also their current average hours. And then you're looking at that as a percentage of your revenue and that's your pay, the percentage of your budget that makes up your paraprofessional wages. And now for most of us, the initial knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Well, my staff ratio is 25% or 19% or 28%,” whatever it is. And to go say, “Well, what does the industry tell me that that percent should be?” But that's the wrong question. The question we should be asking ourselves is where are we compared to where we have been before?
Which is are we trending up, are trending down compared to ourselves year over year? Because it doesn't do me any good. To your point about the pay scales and having, what did you say, Fort Jenkins, Texas. Having a practice in or outside of San Diego. Having a practice an hour and a half outside of downtown San Diego and a practice in the middle of downtown San Diego in the Gaslamp, just the rent alone on those two practices going to be wildly different. So there's going to be different expenses. It goes the same to staff. And so if I look at the industry trends, I do get some value by comparing myself to average practices. And AHA summarizes this really, really nicely. There's two resources that I would say AHA's benchmarks around compensation. And VH made us one as well, but the well managed practice study gives some really good industry benchmarks as well.
But it still doesn't do me, I don't think enough good to say, “Well, three to five doctor practices in a suburban area.” Well, what does that actually mean? Because the suburbs of San Diego could have wildly different pricings than the suburbs of Des Moines, Iowa. They're still suburbs, but those are two wildly different locations geographically. And so what I want to do is look at where am I trending as a practice? And so looking at that percent of gross revenue and then using that spreadsheet to play with the numbers. And so there's two ways that we affect change here. We can pay people more and not change the revenue and there's three pieces at play. There's our gross revenue, there's our cost to employ our team, and there's our other costs of running the business. So to impact those numbers, there are really three levers that we can pull.
We can increase our revenue, which would decrease the other two percentages because when we make more money and the costs stay the same, the percent goes down. We could increase the cost to our staff and not increase the revenue, which means that that percent is going to go up and then we have to cut costs elsewhere. Or we could do some sort of balancing of all of the things. There's a lot of things that we can do here, and this is where the spreadsheet comes into play. Because if you put in the simple numbers, you have your team, you list everybody and you just list them by their initials, put their salary, then in another column, put their average hours, get the total of your team's hours and the total salary that you're paying on them on average, and you can pull that straight out of your timecard software.
How many hours have people worked on average over the last quarter through the last three months? And then you look at that total wage and you look at it relative to your revenue, then you have the ability to say, “Well, if I gave everybody a $5 an hour raise,” and you can just plug that into the spreadsheet, Excel's going to do the work for you and tell you what that does to your percentage without changing your revenue. So then you have the ability to know, “Well, can I afford to do this without making any changes? Yes or no?” It becomes very black and white. You also have the ability to say, “Oh God, that number looks really, really high. If I give everybody $5 an hour raises, that's a,” I don't know. I'm just going to pick a number out of thin air, “that's $40,000.”
Well, that's a big scary number to a lot of us who own businesses, right? $40,000 is not chump change. So then I have the ability to go in there and play with it and say, “Well, if I cut some costs in other areas, what does that do to the percent? If I increase my revenue, if I make $10,000 more in that same quarter, how much does that suppress the percent?” It gives you the ability to play with those numbers. And that is by far the best way that I have ever found to do… You have to run projections and it has to do with the math. And not everybody loves math, but this is where you have to play and figure out how can I afford it? And most of us are afraid of this because we don't have the training, we don't have the knowledge.
I didn't know how to do any of this until I got got training and honestly, until I took business math class at the community college, I had no idea how to do any of this. And it made my life so much easier once I figured out how to do it. And I will tell you that I think that's where we got to in veterinary medicine is because a lot of us are either afraid of it don't know how, or a combination. And so we make those emotional decisions. Instead, we've fallen in love with the idea or we're like, “This is a good cultural fit,” or “My team is working so, so hard and we just need another person.” We make that gut emotional decision to say, “I'm sacrificing for the greater good. My team needs another body, so I'm going to pay this person $2 more than everybody else because it's going to make them happy.”
Well, guess what? In the long run it won't because someone will find out that the new person is making $2 an hour more than them and it will cause havoc in your staff. That's why we set up pay scales in the first place. And so I think that that's where we make the emotional decision because we don't know how to do that math. And that's a huge part of what made me so excited when we got this email. Because I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is a huge soapbox and I want to nerd for a minute, even though Andy's just going to sit there and give me the stare like ‘Really, you're talking about spreadsheets?'”

Dr. Andy Roark:
This is much spreadsheet time airtime as we've ever given in everything. There's never been –

Stephanie Goss:
Thank you for indulging me Andy Roark.

Dr. Andy Roark:
… this much airtime devoted to a spreadsheet.

Stephanie Goss:
I'm just saying.

Dr. Andy Roark:
No, it's good. It's good. It's just…

Stephanie Goss:
Andy's like “If you didn't understand any of what Stephanie just said in the last five minutes, you can go check out the financial workshops that her and Jen Galvin have done.”

Dr. Andy Roark:
There you go. We have financial workshops that cover exactly this. If you're like “Uh oh, tell me more. My heart purrs.” If you're just like, “I want more of this specific spreadsheet focus,” then we got you covered. We totally got you covered.

Stephanie Goss:
We do. We've got t-shirts.

Dr. Andy Roark:
You do have a t-shirt that says something like, “I have a spreadsheet for this, don't you?”

Stephanie Goss:
I do. I do. It was given to me by one of our community members who knows my love of spreadsheets.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Speaking of our community members, getting this back on the rails here. I was talking to one of our community members recently and he was talking about at his practice, they did some surveying of their staff, which I always think is great. And they're like, “What are the stresses of our staff?” It was a burnout type survey. And they were actually really surprised to come to understand that their staff was feeling a lot of financial strain. They live in a major metropolitan area and they didn't recognize how difficult it was for a lot of their staff to live in this area getting paid what they were paying. And of course they felt like they were doing a good job of trying to compensate their people. I think it's hard to get your head around what it really costs to live in a major urban area today.
And so anyway, but they saw that and when they saw that, they said, “This is not okay, we want to fix this.” And so they actually decided they were going to raise their prices and give 100% of that raise to the staff. And so they said to the staff, “We're going to raise prices and 100% of this goes to giving you guys cost of living raises.”
And then they sent an email to the clients and they said, “Just so you know, prices are going to be going up and here's why they're going to be going up.” And they explained that they needed to raise prices so their staff could have a living wage and not be financially strained. And so 100% of this price increase is going to the staff. And I said, “How did it go?” And he was like, “Oh, great. It went great. The clients seemed to understand. We didn't get any pushback at all. The staff were in board on implementing the raise in price because they knew it was important and they knew where it was going.” And I was just like, “That's a beautiful thing.” I just thought it's, again, thinking outside the box and being like, “Oh, we have a very specific problem. We're going to come up with a very specific solution to said problem. And here we go.” So anyway, there's definitely things that we can do.

Stephanie Goss:
I love it. And I think about that from my own behaviors as a consumer. And I think about, I lived in the Bay Area in California and they implemented healthcare for the restaurant industry and for restaurant workers, which is unheard of in the service industry that you would have healthcare coverage. And the business owners, restaurant owners were like, “How the hell are we going to afford this?” And so the conversation was, “We have to increase prices. There has to be something to offset this.” And so I know some of my favorite places who did exactly what you're talking about, and they just went to their clients and they're like, “Hey, this is why we're doing it. This is what we're doing with the money and we hope that you'll go along with us for the ride. And if you don't, we understand.” And I remember being impacted by that.
I would have paid it and I probably would have paid it and grumbled about it if they hadn't have been so forward. But once I got that, I remember seeing a notice when I went into one of my favorite restaurants and I was just like, “Okay, that totally makes sense.” Not only will I be happy to pay that extra amount, but I actually changed my behaviors to think about it and was like, “Here, let me tip.” Let me… I'm going to tip, I'm going to tip more. Which is I recognize not necessarily normal, but it was that emotional heart connection. And to your point, when we think about it and we put it in that context, it goes back to something you and I talk about all the time on the podcast, which is we can't be all things to all people. And we are going to have clients who would get that email and would be like, “I don't want to go there. I need a budget conscious vet practice.”
Totally understand. Totally understand. We might not be your people, and that's okay. It's the same as when the candidate that you're interviewing says, “Well, this is what I need to make for my budget,” to say “I totally get that. And I wish you the best of luck.” Because to your point earlier in the episode you talked about how do we have that conversation with them and explained to them like, “This is what I can offer you.” And for a lot of people that fills this with anxiety because we're just like, “How do I have to explain myself?” You don't have to explain yourself. You just say, “Thank you. I completely understand and I wish you the best of luck,” and move on because it's not going to be the right fit. You cannot be all things to all people, whether it's your team, whether it's your clients, stop. We've got to stop. And so I love that you use that example.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Yeah. Oh, good deal. All right. Well, that's what I got my friend. I don't think I have anything else.

Stephanie Goss:
Okay. I love this. Thank you for letting me talk about spreadsheets.

Dr. Andy Roark:
Oh, my pleasure. I'm so glad we got to do this.

Stephanie Goss:
You're not, but thank you for lying anyways. Take care everybody.

Dr. Andy Roark:
See you everybody.

Stephanie Goss:
Well, gang, that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast, and as always, this was so fun to dive into the mailbag and answer this question, and I would really love to see more things like this come through the mailbag. If there is something that you would love to have us talk about on the podcast or a question that you are hoping that we might be able to help with, feel free to reach out and send us a message. You can always find the mailbag at the website. The address is unchartedvet.com/mailbag, or you can email us at podcast@unchartedvet.com. Take care everybody, and have a great week. We'll see you again next time.

Written by Dustin Bays · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: compensation, culture, Practice ownership, raise, wages

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