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management

Feb 14 2024

When The Vet Won’t GO FASTER

This week on the Uncharted Podcast, Dr. Andy Roark is joined by veterinary practice management expert, Dr. Amanda Donnelly and together they tackle another question from the mailbag. In this episode, they take on the challenge of a veterinarian who, despite being exceptional with clients and production, struggles with efficiency in exam rooms, causing a backlog of duties. This backlog bleeds into other doctor's plates, having to have them finish his work yet the practice owner is hesitant to discipline for fear of losing this veterinarian. Dr. Amanda Donnelly offers her insight to strategize ways to set clearer job expectations, foster self-reflection, and provide effective feedback. Together, they explore external resources like mentorship programs and leadership coaching to enhance the vet's performance. Let's get into this….

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 273 – When The Vet Won't GO FASTER

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

📚 Explore more about the book and veterinary leadership on Dr. Amanda Donnelly's official website: AmandaDonnellyDVM.com Dive into the world of veterinary leadership with Dr. Amanda Donnelly's insightful book, “Leading & Managing Veterinary Teams.” This definitive guide explores the essential principles of effective leadership in veterinary medicine. Discover practical strategies and valuable insights to elevate your team management skills. 🔗 Get your copy on Amazon: Leading & Managing Veterinary Teams

ABOUT OUR GUEST:

Dr. Amanda Donnelly, a speaker, consultant, and author with over 30 years’ experience in the veterinary profession. She is a second-generation veterinarian who combines her practice experience and business expertise to help practice leaders communicate better with their teams and clients. Dr. Donnelly is a graduate of the College of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Missouri.  She is the author of Leading and Managing Veterinary Teams and writes the Talk the Talk communication column for Today’s Veterinary Business. Dr. Donnelly has won many accolades including being named the 2023 Practice Management Educator of the Year for WVC.

⚓ Join us at the Practice Manager Summit – a virtual event designed to tackle the unique challenges faced by practice managers. Dive into interactive workshop sessions, peer discussion segments, and experience the energy of Uncharted events firsthand!

✨ Explore sessions on managing team conflicts, enhancing team retention and setting boundaries in a management role.

✨ Connect with fellow practice managers and exchange insights that drive meaningful change.

✨ Earn 5.5 CE credits towards CVPM, enjoy dance parties, giveaways, and more!

Ready to make waves? Join us at the Practice Manager Summit and let's redefine veterinary practice management together!

Upcoming events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/


Episode Transcript

Dr. Andy Roark: Hey everybody and welcome to the Uncharted Veterinary Podcast. Guys, we got a great one for you today. The one and only Stephanie Goss is off today, but I am pulling in an amazing guest, a mentor of mine, someone I look up to. I'm just going to keep her secret here for a moment until I introduce her.

But we have a great episode about a doctor who is really slow in the exam rooms. Really slow. He's been there for nine months. The practice owner just really doesn't want to write him up because, hey, we don't want to take off the doctors, but he's falling behind and he's not getting his medical records done.

And he's doing phone calls instead of coming to staff meetings. And worst of all, The other doctors are having to do some of his phone calls because people are waiting all day and he's not getting to them. And so other doctors are getting pulled in to help clean up and juggle these clients. And this is not good, but he just doesn't seem to see a problem with it.

Guys, this is going to sound real familiar for a lot of you. And we got a fresh take on tackling it today. So it's going to be a great one. Let's get into it.

Andy: And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Dr. Amanda Donnelly. How are you, Amanda?

Amanda: I am great, Andy! How are you?

Andy: I am so great. I am thrilled to have you as my wingman and co host on today's episode. I have admired you for years. You've been someone who's been a mentor to me in my career. You are, for those who do not know you, you are a, you're a second generation veterinarian. You are a well renowned, world renowned, well renowned speaker. You've been the Practice Management Educator of the Year at the Western Vet Conference. You write a wonderful column in today's Veterinary Business Magazine that runs with the column that I write. And I always pull your stuff and want to read and see and see what you're doing and see what you're talking about.

You have probably written, probably I don't think I don't think I'm trying to think of anything that might compete with it. You have written probably my favorite book in veterinary veterinary leadership, veterinary management. It's called ‘Leading and Managing Veterinary Teams‘. I am thrilled to have you here. Have you been?

Amanda: I’ve been good. And thank you for all those wonderful accolades. I really appreciate it. I've been super busy. That's it. That's a good, that's a good thing. It's a good time to be in veterinary practice management and speaking.

Andy: It is. To you, number, so just a side before we get started, when, when you're talking about looking at practices and working with them, are you, are you. How much emphasis are you getting on going faster? Is this, are you getting a big push for increasing efficiency? Cause well I just came back from the VMX conference and that's what I heard about again and again was people saying, how do we go faster?

And I thought that was kind of odd, it wasn't what I was expecting. Do you, have you had that experience?

Amanda: Well, you know, what's interesting, what I have found is that yes, increasing efficiency is still incredibly relevant even now that we've come out of the pandemic years. But I am hearing a lot more reports about practices slowing down. So the efficiency point, you know, really That needs to happen But some of the practices at least some of the ones that i'm working with and that I talk to The, they're concerned about making sure that they are getting more clients in, you know?

Andy: That's why that's why I was surprised. So, so in Uncharted, you know, we always watch trends and talk, talk with our practices that are, that are members and things. And we had, in the last quarter of the year, we saw a pretty marked slowdown. It's very regional. Some people were like, we see no change, but we were having some that were having pretty substantial drops in their, in their clients coming in.

It was, it was, that's why it was so interesting at, at VMX. I would talk to groups that were like, oh, we really beating the demand. It's going to be huge. And I. I thought, man, that's, that's not what I'm, what I'm sort of seeing. That's kind of why I was sort of fishing to see, see where your head was at.

I'm really sort of talking to people about go ahead, making sure you're gearing up your client reminders. You're getting your, your marketing back on point because we didn't have to deal with that for a long time. We had more work than we could do. But I think we're, it's time to start reengaging our client communications to make sure that if a demand for vet services starts to dip, the individual practices is, is taken care of as they can be.

Amanda: Yeah. Yeah. No, I couldn't agree more. And I have gotten a surge in the last six months of people asking me to help with client service and client communications. And nobody had time for that, you know, from 2020 to 2022.

Andy: do think that fell off. Yeah, I think I think you're spot on I think I think everything swings like a pendulum, you know, I think there's when everybody was swamped and trying to doggy paddle keep their head above water The client service part was not high on their priority list and you are swinging that swinging back.

 I think clients are a bit more discerning right now. I think that they're kind of looking for reasons to keep their wallet in their pocket, not just in that medicine, but in everything. And I think that client service communication part, the education importance is climbing back up, which is good to see, but always changing.

Hey, I got a I got a case for you from our mailbag. And I thought you would be uniquely suited to come in and help me sort of break it down. Is that okay?

Amanda: Hit me with it.

Andy: All right, cool. So there's a little bit to it, but basically here goes so so we got an email from a practice manager and they're in a four doctor practice and they say they have a great culture and they got a fantastic team but they're having a hard time with one of the Doctors.

They said he's an excellent vet when it comes to clients. Most of them love him and he's pretty good producer too. He can sometimes run behind because he has his quote special clients unquote. That while they do spend a lot of money at the clinic, he ends up chatting with them for a long time. So I don't know.

Maybe you can make an argument that's concierge care. I don't know. We'll come back to it. We've tried extending his appointment times for those certain clients, but then he's still like whatever time he has, he just takes that time. Plus 30%. Like, so if you give him more time, it just seems like it gets, it gets longer.

He also has a bad habit of not finishing up his charts, and he runs behinds on phone calls, so he ends up using like, if they have a staff meeting, he's never there, because he's always trying to get his charts done or his phone calls. Stuff like that. It's frustrating to some of the other doctors. I think one of the things that would frustrate me is that some of the phone calls are falling on other doctors because clients are mad because he's not getting back to them, so the other doctor's having to call.

And so that's a problem. It sounds like these guys are running a really good ship. When they, when they talk to him about, about it, and they talk to him about running behind, he says that if he had more technicians, he'd be able to do more. But, but they've got a three to one tech to doctor ratio, which again, sounds really solid.

And the other doctors are making it just, just fine. And so anyway, I think that that's the main thing. They've brought up dictation softwares and, and he says he just, he, he thinks it's faster to type and it just, it seems like I've got a frustrated manager here who's really trying to throw everything at this doctor.

To get him get him out of the rooms and get him back on track And he's just not I don't know if it's a self awareness thing, but he's he just doesn't seem motivated. Now, I will also say, I know you see this a lot doctor retention is important at practices. Right now doctors are very hard to find and we all have the interest of keeping our cultures good and we want to motivate people the nice way and we like to retain our doctors if we can because it does sound like this guy generally is doing a good job and is popular.

It's just this point of frustration that's dragging them down. So. When I tell you all that, Amanda, sort of lay it down, let's, let's start with head space here. So, so put yourself in the shoes of the manager. What, what are you going to think of so that you can be productive in this situation? What do you think?

What do you think people need to kind of understand about positions like this?

Amanda: Well, this is an awesome question. First of all, I've just got to say, because I have heard similar challenges from other managers. So I love that we're talking about this and clearly it sounds like she's super frustrated and understandably so and, and stressed, you know, because now she has a doctor who should be doing his work, but she's having to spend all of this time trying to get him to be more efficient.

Which, you know, if he was doing his job, she wouldn't have to be spending time on that. And so that's a problem. Um, so, I mean, if I think about, you know, like, what is she thinking in her perspective, I'm assuming that she sees this as a lack of accountability. He's not doing the same thing that the other doctors are doing.

You know, maybe she even feels he's not being a good role model you know, for the rest of the team. So, but I think the main thing, you know, for the manager is just this frustration about how do I get this guy to do– this doctor to do what he's supposed to do, 

Andy: I think you touched on one of the big ones for me is it's really easy to tell yourself stories about this. You know what I mean? Like, he's lazy. He doesn't, especially when you talk to the person, their behavior doesn't change and start to be like, he's, he's acting like he cares, but he doesn't care. He's not taking this seriously.

And My, sort of my, that's my part for Headspace, is I look at this and say, I really appreciate how this person wrote into the mailbag, because it does not feel like they have, they're frustrated, it does not feel like they have tipped over into the point of being just, enraged or, or just going down an aggressive sort of toxic path.

And it's again, you can be, one of my friends calls it justifiable anger. It's like you can easily justify this anger and also know that carrying that anger around when you plan to deal with this is probably just going to get in your way and reduce your chances of being effective.

Amanda: Yeah, it sounds like the manager has actually been incredibly helpful to try to help this doctor. So I agree with what you're saying.

Andy: I also, you know, I think they mentioned the team a number of times and you get into headspace and You know, I think one of the big things for me when we talk about Just management in general. I'm a big fan of the idea that we're all trying to achieve balance, which is I do want to support this doctor. But also I can't have my other doctors being mad because they're doing calls to frustrated clients who've been waiting all day to be talked to like that's not Okay.

And I'm a big deal. I'm a big fan of like medical records are part of being on the team, especially if we're in doing modern medicine, where we pass cases around, where we try to leverage our technicians, where the front desk is doing communication for us. You can't not write up your charts because you're really letting down the whole team.

And again, I don't think this comes from a, I have never seen an evil doctor. That's just like, I don't care. I just, I know that they're. busy, and I know they're getting behind. I just, for me you can hold two things in your mind at the same time. You can decide that this person's behavior is not okay, and also empathize and be like, hey, I know what it's like.

We're all, we're trying to do a good job. I suspect oftentimes when I see doctors like this, like relationships are a big motivator for them. You know, it's, it's, it's their, it's their love languages, relationships, and maintaining relationships, and so the idea of cutting people short. It's just, it's, it's very hard for them and it can also be unacceptable to our team.

Both of those things can be true.

Amanda: Yeah. I think what really jumps out at me when you talk about this case is, you know, what, what is the doctor thing? Cause they keep asking him to, to, to be on time and, you know, and he's, he's not wanting to change his behavior. And so what jumps out at me is that he probably doesn't think this is a big problem, or, or presumably he would have made some changes.

And what is fascinating to me, and I've seen this with other doctors in my entire life and career, is that they'll help one client and go overboard to help them, or I've had other doctors that run behind. Either because they don't have good communication skills or they chat too much with clients or whatnot.

And so, like you said, they have this desire to have this great relationship, but then what they forget is what about all the other clients that they're not taking care of? So, not doing the callbacks, not having the charts done. That is hurting those clients. And what about the clients that are waiting?

You know, so, you know, because you're running behind so we're really not, you know, serving all of the clients Well with his type of behavior and as you also said there's an impact on the team So I think that is I don't think he's really appreciating the impact on the team, the other clients, and then of course the business at large

Andy: Yeah. You're speaking at the Uncharted Practice Manager Summit on February 28th. It's a virtual conference that is only for practice managers. And so it's a one day event, you're doing a workshop called how to create a culture of accountability. And you mentioned accountability here as well.

Talk to me a little bit about what that culture of accountability would look like. So I think that's good headspace before we actually address this doctor. How does that, how does that sort of start to come together in the mind of the practice manager?

Amanda: Well, I think that, yes, you're right. I love talking about accountability and I'm happy to be able to talk about this at your conference. I think that so much of accountability is the doctor doesn't, is, is trying to figure out what is the underlying cause and, you know, with him, I think it's, it's a little different, you know, being in a doctor situation, maybe, but I think he doesn't understand the ramifications of his behavior, but also made, I don't know, maybe the expectations were never clearly established at the very beginning.

So we've got, you know, so one of the causes of lack of accountability can be lack of clarity. Now, they keep saying. You need to do your records on time, or you need to be on time, or we're going to pull you out of the room, you know, those kinds of things. But fundamentally, he's been practicing for whatever period of time and, and, and another cause of lack of accountability can be lack of consequences.

So if there's not any. ramifications or consequences for him continuing this behavior, he's going to keep doing it. And then I think what happens is the lack of clarity here might be maybe he doesn't have written job expectations. Maybe, you know, the parameters he has to work within haven't been established.

But also what happens so often is what I find is that managers or medical directors, they might talk to an employee, in this case, it's the doctor, but it starts to really sort of just be tuned out and sound like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah to the person who's receiving it because they're like, yeah, they're nagging me.

But, you know, I'm doing, you know, people like me, you know, I'm making the practice money. I'm helping these clients. And so they just, they don't see the big picture. So part of it is figuring out maybe from a lack of accountability is we have to set those what are the policies and protocols that a person needs to work within and what are the consequences of not doing it.

But I also think in this case, especially since he's a doctor, Andy, is he's in a leadership position and I don't, I think a lot, a lot of times associates don't necessarily think, oh, wait a minute, you know, I, I got that DVM and along with it, I got, I also had this leadership certification, whether I want it or not.

And so, that's where part of the lack of accountability piece also, you know, dovetails into self leadership and getting him to identify, you know, some of the things that he needs to do, which we can talk about some of the solutions, but I do think that that's a lot of what's going on here, too, is not just the lack of accountability, although there is that, that he's not taking ownership of, but then there's also a lack of leadership skills on his part.

Andy: I agree with that. I think that's a really good point. I like– you put your finger right on the doctor as the leader and sort of, you know, people, people have a responsibility because of their title. And so I think that's interesting. I want to unpack the self leadership part with you in a second. But have you so you I think you're spot on about a possibly just say a lack of clarity, clear job expectations. I think it's fair to say, Hey, our expectation is that clients get called back within a certain time that you write your charts up. That's a very easy expectation to set things like that, that other doctors don't have to step in and do parts of your work for you. Are there, are there other expectations? How do you set expectations for staying on time, Amanda? Because it's kind of, at least for me and my career, it's always kind of been a willy nilly thing of nobody really, it wasn't ever like, I'm sorry, Andy, if you have a 30 minute appointment.

And it starts at 2:30, at 3 p. m. you need to be out of that room. And I've never, I've never been held to that standard. And I think, you know, different cases involve different things. How do you set expectations for people staying on time? Have you ever seen something like that where there's a metric where, I mean, honestly, I, they have already done the thing of sending the technician in with a code to say, really, we need to move on.

But is, how do you set clarity around, hey, this is the pace we would like for you to keep up? Have you seen that?

Amanda: Well, yes, and no, I guess it's, I'm going to waffle a little bit because yes, I've seen the expectations be put in place, but, and I've seen people that run on time and people who don't because this reminds me, this reminds me of a relatively young doctor that I worked with a couple of years ago, who was, who was always 30 minutes or more behind and the rest of the practice was not.

And it was definitely how he managed his time, but all, but it was very specifically how he communicated with clients. So, the fix wasn't to say just the expectations are for you to run on time because he just, he couldn't, he couldn't adhere. I mean, he basically couldn't meet the expectations. So the fix wasn't just about setting expectations, it became helping him with some client communication skills and a few other strategies for how he could

be on time. You know, how he could change his client conversations maybe leverage the staff up a little bit, but I think part of this is going to be with this particular doctor is helping him with some leadership coaching and some client communications training and also. I think the question is, well, why do these expectations, you know, even exist?

And I still think too, another thing that we didn't really hit on is why can the other doctors all run on time pretty much? And he can't like, what is the difference? And I'm guessing that the difference is that he spends too much time in the room, but see, it might just not be chitchat. Maybe the staff thinks it's chitchat, but maybe he doesn't run an organized appointment.

Maybe he's all over the map. See, maybe he's like, Oh, we could do this. We could do that. And I don't know, you know, so there, there, there could be an organizational flow issue that we need to, you know, videotaping his appointments might be really helpful, but I think you have to drill into that. Yeah. And determine if there is something missing here that he needs help or training with why he can't do it, why he can't adhere to the same time limitations as the other doctors.

So I think there's that piece to maybe dissect a little bit. But then fundamentally, very much, this is going to be, I think, a coaching opportunity.

Andy: I, I, I like that a lot. I think that's a, I think that's a really good call out. Again, I said, you know, we yeah, be careful what the stories we tell ourselves. I think your idea of what if he's what if it's not chit chat? What if he really just does not have an organized way to approach his appointments or he's not he's not good at creating, you know treatment plans that are concrete and presenting them in an actionable way I think that's a really good call. So, you talked about Self leadership.

You said, you know, so I'm totally with you on the idea that, that the doctor is looked up to and, and is sort of setting a precedent and a tone sort of for the team. And by the role of doctor, you have certain leadership responsibilities. And so talk to me a little bit about the term self leadership, and ike, what is that? How is that different from just saying the doctor is a leader? Unpack that for me.

Amanda: Well, if you look at definitions, and I try to keep this pretty simple, but if you look at, like, what's the definition of self leadership, it's going to be that process of influencing your own thoughts and actions towards achieving your goals. And the goals, some of the goals here, of course, that we're referencing would be the hospital goals of seeing not only seeing all of our patients and taking care of them, but also excellent client care.

But it is that it's that process. It's that self process. So it's the process of influencing your own thoughts and actions towards achieving. You know, whatever the goals are your own personal goals or the goals that, you know, have been put upon you. So, in this instance, it would be looking at the piece that I think might be missing here for him is that I'm not sure there's any self reflection going on.

So, self leadership requires self reflection. What's working well for me? What's not working so well for me? How am I impacting others? You know, how am I how can I change? See, I don't think he, I don't think he sees the, from what we know, it doesn't appear that he sees the need fundamentally to change. He, he knows they want him to change, but I don't think he really feels the need.

And I think with self leadership what, what the action about is, is identifying, well, okay, what, what needs to change, you know, that would make everything better, you know, would help the team, would help my coworkers, would help the clients, would help. Cause see, he could actually see more patients. 

If he was able to be more efficient. So it's, it's the self reflection of, oh, wait a minute. Okay. Maybe there is something here. They're not just nagging me and, and getting him to self-reflect. I think that's going to be a real important for him to see that his leadership, see doctors.

Associate doctors may think that their self leadership or their leadership role at the practice is just to direct traffic, which is, of course, true. You know, I need you to call this client. I need you to set this IV catheter, whatever, but it's also about. bringing a team together and, and he's creating chaos, you know, sometimes for the team, he's not bringing the team together.

He's not being a role model. So the self leadership part of that is helping him understand that, that it's not only about the medicine. And that's the part I think that associates miss is that whether they want to have the leadership role or not. They do have it as it relates to the team. It's not just about patient care and client care.

It's how they interface with, with helping the team and getting the best client service, the best patient care throughout the day. And that's the piece that I think he's not seeing that some of these individual actions have a greater, broader impact on the business. And specifically, you know, when I say the business, I mean, client care, potentially patient care, but very much the efficiency of the practice, the stress of the team, you know, now somebody is having to try to pull them out of a room.

And I think the biggest thing here, and we can get into this more, but I feel that this manager is perhaps thinking that this is like her problem to solve. And I'm like, wait a minute. It's like if they're if they're saying, oh, we could do dictation software and oh, we could, you know, we could give you more staff or oh, we could change this protocol or oh, we could get have, you know, pull you out of a room.

It's like the practice is doing all this work to try to help him. What is he doing? I mean, he's not taking ownership is what I'm saying.

Andy: Oh, I, I, you just blew my mind. I, I love that you called that out at some point. We've all probably been in a relationship where we work too damn hard to make the relationship work and we just didn't feel like the other person was, you know, was coming with their half of the relationship. And so I think, I think that's, I think that's a really good headspace.

I am chomping at the bit to dive into this a little bit and start to say, well, how do we actually move this case forward? Let's take a quick break and we'll come back and then we'll get into the action steps. Sound good?

Amanda: Yeah, that sounds great.

Stephanie Goss: Did you know that we offer workshops for our Uncharted members and for our non members? So if you're listening to today's podcast and you are not a member of Uncharted yet, you should be, but this is not a conversation about joining Uncharted. This is a conversation about all of the amazing content that we have coming at all of you, whether or not you're a member through our workshop series.

You should head over to the website at unchartedvet.com/events and check out what is coming. We have got an amazing lineup on the regular. We've got something every month, sometimes two or three things in a month coming at you to expand your brain, to talk about leadership, to talk about practice management and dive into the kind of topics that Andy and I talk about on the podcast every week.

So now's your chance. Stop what you're doing. Pick up your cell phone. I know it's not far from you and type in unchartedvet.com/events. See what's coming and sign up. They are always free to our uncharted members and they have a small fee attached to them. If you are not currently a member, you can get all of the details, pricing, dates, times, and register head over to the website.

Now I want to see ya there.

Andy: Alright, so let's, let's get in this unpack what our actual strategy is going to be.

So we've got this manager who's asked us, and I may not have mentioned at the beginning, this doctor has only been there nine months. It's not 90 days, but in their practice, it's fairly new. I feel a sense of urgency here. And I don't know if you would agree and you would say, no, that's not, it's not a problem for me.

I'm going. This feels like an important time, and if we kind of take our foot off the gas here, or just let it ride for a while, then some of these behaviors are going to really crystallize and be a problem later on. So I, I'm wondering if you're feeling a sense of urgency, but as we, we sit down and we've got this manager and we say, all right, let's decide what we're going to actually do.

Where, where do you start with this, Amanda? Kind of what's the first thing you'd say? This is on the action plan.

Amanda: Well, I think the first is so often we don't have a job description for veterinarians and that's going to be pretty streamlined because it's going to say the obligatory information about. You know, their patient care and if they do surgery and all of that, but what I'm talking about is what we want to put in writing, what are the job expectations?

And I'm, I'm referring to these types of job expectations that records will be written up in a timely manner. And of course you have to define, well, what is a timely manner? So you can't just say, you know, timely, cause that might be a week to them.

Andy: Sure, that's, that's, that's seven days, in my mind.

Amanda: But I do, I do think we need to start with putting the expectations in writing so that that could be given to him.

And of course, key point here, that expectation should be given to all the associates, not just him. But then I think the core crux of all of these action steps are mostly. Going to be coaching sessions with him and recognizing that it won't be a one and done. I don't see this as 1 conversation and oh, that's magically going to fix everything.

So I think it's going to be a series of conversations, which I would love to talk about some of those. The nuances of those conversations, but, but the reason I say that it's mostly going to be about conversations with him is this seems to be a people problem, not a systems problem because everybody else apparently is running on time.

And this is, this is a doctor, you know, whatever this doctor you know, it's their problem. So that's where we get into these one on one sessions and and I think with those one on one sessions, there are. Really two key components. One, we already hit on, which is that rather than coming at him and saying, we need you to do this, we need you to do that, which is going to sound like the nagging and it's kind of puts the, it's like, it's the practices job to solve this instead.

Fundamentally, that conversation needs to be about what will you do? What will you do to be on time? What will you do to get your charts written, you know, in a timely manner, just like all the other doctors? What will you do? So now he may not have all those answers in the first meeting. And in fact, I'm all forgiving someone time, you know, a day or two.

You know, a couple of days to think about that because they might, you know, and, and, and they might, this manager might get pushback. He might be, well, what do you mean? What am I going to do? I've, you know, I'm going to try to type faster, which we know doesn't work. So, that's one thing. But another awesome part of this that I think has to be touched on Andy.

Is to make this conversation about alignment with the core values of the practice. Now, you probably know I'm a huge fan of leading and managing by core values. I think most of chapter two in my book is about that. So hopefully this is a practice that already has core values in place. But even if they don't have them written and, and well defined, they still know what they are.

So, in this case, the core values that I would say most practices, if not all, have, whether they're clearly defined or not, the three that immediately would come to mind in this scenario are going to be teamwork, respect, and client care. So I would come up with, you know, what's 1 or 2 of the core values that they either already have or fundamentally know that they have and get him to see that his behavior is not aligned with a core value because he's not fulfilling his role of the team.

He's you know, the team can't operate, you know, effectively because of his actions. Client care is suffering because now we've got clients that are mad that they're not getting their lab results on time or he's not they're having to wait because he's, you know, spending so much time with the first client.

And then all of that, you know, respect becomes an issue, you know, cause it's like I fundamentally just to be clear. I do not think this is a bad doctor in any way, shape, or form. I think he just doesn't appreciate, maybe, the ramifications and impact that he's having on this, on this team. And so, when I say, you know, respect, that's what he's got to, has to understand is that it is a lack of respect, though, when he just keeps on keeping on doing what he wants to do without regard to how it affects the rest of the team.

When you change the conversation to talk about the core values, Now all of a sudden it's a different conversation that takes it out. It takes away that nagging. So we're not just saying, Oh, you need to do this, which sounds like nagging. It's like, gosh, we need everybody to adhere to our core values. These are the ways in which your behavior is not aligned with those.

And then that, you know, so that's kind of the drop back. I guess is what I'm saying to the coaching conversations that we want to have with him.

Andy: Yeah, well, before the break, you were talking about getting him to sort of self-reflect and my question to you was really going to be, how do you do, how do you do that? How do you, how do you get that self awareness? I think there's a lot of people who struggle with doctors, but, but honestly, anybody on your team who just lacks self awareness, and you say, how do you do this?

It sounds like you're going to try to use the core values to push that self awareness component to say, this is, this is how you're being perceived, or this is the actions, this is what, this is the impact that your actions are having, trying to get them to trigger a look at their, at their own behavior.

Is that as, am I right on that?

Amanda: Yes. And to your– to the 1st, half of your question there, which I'm so glad you ask the really key part of this to get him to self anybody to self reflect. The beauty of that is through the open ended question, so you could have the open ended question has to be inviting them to tell you their story or inviting them to give you input or feedback.

So, if you say, you know, do you appreciate the negative impact this is having on the team? See, that's closed ended, right? Because they can go, well, no, but that's not what you want. We've got to change that and say, how do you think you running behind is affecting our other clients? How do you think you having to be called out of rooms or not running on time? You know, how do you think that affects our clients who are waiting?

How do you think that affects the team and then also part of the self reflection is you know? What are your solutions for how you can run on time? What are your ideas for? How you can organize your day And so that you are able to complete charts and appointments and callbacks, you know, when they need to be accomplished.

That's the self reflection– is you're asking that person for their thoughts, their ideas and their action steps. Remember the definition of self leadership, that process of influencing our own thoughts and actions. So that's what we're asking. But that has to be through an open ended question. And he's not, he, she, whoever, I don't know if we even know the who this associate is, but they they, they're not going to have all these solutions all at once.

So we've got, you know, we've got to assume that this is going to take multiple coaching sessions and maybe just one or two action steps at a time. We can't expect this doctor to just change overnight, but I do want. To emphasize what you said, which is if this person's only been working at this practice for nine months.

Now is a real sense of urgency to try to change habits because we can't, we can't change him. You can't force him to do anything. But what we can do is help him self reflect, help him with, you know, identify. some actions that would help everybody. And then one of the things we didn't touch on Andy was being clear on another way that that you can tackle this too is to try to be clear on what we think motivates him.

I'm not sure if you said at the very beginning most managers want to motivate their staff to take more emotion initiative or motivate them to. And so the question is, what are his motivators? Because fundamentally we can't really motivate people. There's a whole book on that, but what we can know is what are, what, what triggers them?

Like what, what is a trigger for them? And I mean, a good trigger, like what. What gets them up in the morning or what do they wish they were better at? So some doctors are really motivated by money. You know, they might be on production. They might, you know, they, you know, I'm not saying that they're bad doctors or that they do anything, but they, but, you know, they want to make a nice living and they want to work a little harder and make sure that they're doing everything that they can do you know, for compensation.

Some doctors—money doesn't mean anything at all to them. And they, it's all about the clients. Other doctors, it's all about the patients. Some doctors are really much all about the team. So the question is what motivates him? Because we want to help him see that whatever it is he wants, we're going to help him get what he wants as well as help the practice.

Because I imagine he wants much of what. The team wants, he sounds like he gets along with everybody, gets along with most of the clients, but what we have to get him to see is, okay, you want that? We're going to help you get more of that. Like him, we need him to see that running on time and doing, meeting his job expectations is a win win for everybody.

The clients, the patients, the team, everybody,

Andy: I think you did a good job here. I really like this plan in that the setting of expectations at the beginning in my mind, that's also when we're going to lay down the metrics of success that we're going to be watching to say, Are we getting on track? How do we know? Because otherwise, you know, he ended up saying, I feel like I'm going faster.

Like I'm talking faster, you know, and I'm pretty darn sure I was closer to being on time yesterday than I have been in a long time. And so, so it's laying those things down. And I really like these coaching conversations. Amanda, how, how do you, so I'm not a patient person and I've, I've, I've struggled with, with that, and I've gotten, as I've gotten older, I've mellowed a bit, but what is, what is an acceptable turnaround time here, especially if, if we're having these conversations over, you know, over a series of days or meetings to kind of try to bring them into alignment?

And we're saying, Hey, look, he's been here nine months. We feel like this is an important time. How do you pace yourself so that you're not jumping the gun and saying, look, he's gotten 10 percent better in one week. And that's not nearly enough, or maybe 10 percent in one week is really good? I don't exactly know.

How do you, how do you pace yourself so you can decide? Yes, I see progress and I'm continuing on or I'm not seeing enough progress. Like how do you, I know there's probably no direct answer but how do you benchmark 

Amanda: Well, I think, I think, I think you're absolutely right about trying to determine some metrics. And then how do we measure them? And what's a reasonable timeline? I mean, certainly the metrics is we can, we can absolutely, if they aren't already doing it, we can track wait times for sure. We can also set an expectation of.

The number of days or hours that a callback is supposed to be done or a chart maybe has to be written before you leave the building or by noon the next day, or, you know, whatever those. So those are either you kind of, you either did your charts. You did your callbacks by the deadline or you didn't.

So I think those are relatively easy metrics to get in place. I think the running behind though, you know, we really also– in this case, I would want to measure the use of his communication skill and his organizational strategies. So, like, for example, some doctors will find it incredibly helpful that they have their, you know, whoever, whatever their technician is, they

figure out strategies that that technician is going to keep them on time or help them stay organized. I'm not talking about, you know, pulling them out of a room. I'm talking about other organizational flow kind of strategies. So, maybe he needs some communication skills training for clients. Like, let's say he's having this chatty client.

Does he have the skill to know how to extract himself from the chatty client? Like, that's something I could help him with. Right? Because, you know, I can help doctors or team members know. How to be fully present with that client, but extract yourself and, you know, and to lead the conversation.

So those metrics are also things that we can measure, you know, is he using those skills now to the timeline? You know, I guess I would start with like a 3, a 3 month timeline. And what I mean by that is that there would still be some parameters within there. And I kind of chose. Three months just because you know at that point he will have been working a year but in regards to the timeline, I What would be best would be to set very small action steps that like what are you working on this week?

One or two things he's working on this week What are you working on next week and ideally hold I would hold meetings at a minimum every two weeks Maybe weekly with him because if we meet with him for short periods of time I would rather see short meetings frequently to keep the momentum and see if he has questions and how he's doing give him feedback asking what his challenges are That's going to be better than only meeting monthly because that's way too far out. You know, there's not an opportunity to do coaching.

So I would meet with them weekly, you know every you know 7 to 14 days. How are you doing? You know what's working and what's not and assess the progress? And then, I would kind of look at, you know, a monthly chunk of time, you know, and, and I would expect to see some very quick improvement on the timeliness of the charts and, and the callbacks, but I think the being behind in the rooms will just take, I think that's going to take a little longer.

And I think it's realistic to give him time, you know, for, for that change.

Andy: That all makes sense. I definitely am on board with that. You know this writer mentions, as well, that the practice owner in this case is not quite ready to write this person up for, you know, for fear of ticking the doctor off and, and having him lead. So whether it's a practice owner or a regional manager or the, or the medical director or whoever the, the appropriate person is in your structure.

I mean, how do you feel about that, Amanda? Is that a big deal? Is that not a big deal? Is this an interpersonal thing that doesn't really warrant a write up before this point? Where's your head at in 

Amanda: Well, two responses. First of all, I'm not a big fan of write ups. Now, let me be clear, I am definitely in favor of progressive discipline, because at some point, we've got to have some warnings, some write ups, or, you know, and, and at some point that would lead to termination. So it has to be progressive, but what I mean about discipline is everything should be documented.

But you could document it where it's not a warning. You could document it as what I call a lack of accountability conversation or a coaching or a feedback session, whatever you want to call it. The reason the documentation is important is just to keep us organized and if we ever did have to go to termination that we would have our documentation there.

So I don't, I don't think we should look at this as, “Oh, we're going to write you up for this.” Just because that's not usually how I approach these cases because he is a good doctor. It sounds like the medicine's good and you know, if this is more of a you know his not so much his personality, but some of his leadership and communication skills So but what's important the second part of that is the fear of of terminating somebody or to your point What happens is so often in recent times because of our doctor shortages.

I see the leadership team, they don't even want to talk to the doctor because they're like, Oh, gosh, well, we can't afford to lose them. So we're not even going to address it. So here I'm going to say something very pointed, which is when we don't give people feedback. Now, I mean, effective feedback, not nagging, but if we don't give them very effective, positive and negative feedback, that specific and related to the core values, we are robbing them of the opportunity to improve.

Andy: Yeah.

Amanda: So we are doing the doctor an actual disservice if we do not address this in a more meaningful way. And so, I think if you run your business based on fear, and that's easy for me to say because I'm not in the trenches anymore, but if you run your business on fear, that's never going to work well. And to your earlier point, if we address it right now, It'll be a lot easier than trying to address it 6, 12, 18 months from now.

So, I would just try to put the fear off the table and say, We need to have meaningful conversations with this doctor about how he needs to change, make him a part of that solution. And I can't imagine if he's, if he, you know, he's getting along well with the staff and likes the clients, it's not like he's going to walk just because you talk to him, you know, you know, so that's not going to happen.

Andy: But I see that fear, like I 100 percent there's the idea, but if we talk to him, he'll walk away and I think you're, you're right to point it out as that would, that would be what then people do irrational things, but that'd be wildly foolish. And I completely agree. You oftentimes as a manager, we pick our poison.

And so. Do you want the poison of, I don't know, he might freak out and walk away, or do you want the poison of, we, we have no input into this behavior because we're afraid to have this conversation. Like, I'm not, I'm not living my life that way.

Amanda: Right. Well, and plus, sometimes when we don't have a conversation, whether it's a doctor or some other employee with job performance, then the, what about the rest of the staff? You know, we, so we don't address problem with one person and then the whole rest of the staff be starts becoming disgruntled.

Andy: Well, I think this is a solid plan for, for getting up and getting going. I think at this point you kind of have to wait and see how they respond before you, before you kind of figure out where, where to go from here. But I do think this is a really good way to sort of open the door, get some systems in place.

I really liked the job expectations up front. I think the series of conversations is a good way of setting expectations for our manager friend to say, “Hey, Rome is not going to be built in a day.” We're just, we're going to, we're going to go through and have these conversations. We're going to circle back the open ended questions to get this person to sort of demonstrate some self reflection and awareness, pulling in the core values.

I'm totally there with you leading by fear and just sort of taking that off the table. I think that's an excellent strategy. I feel pretty good about, about this, this plan overall. Are there any final points, words of wisdom, advice that you want to give to people or that you'd give to this person?

Amanda: Yeah, I do think a couple of things to mention. I think first of all, there's so many fabulous books out there. So we could identify some books. Can't make him read them, but in books, not just books for him, but books for this manager to help her know how to navigate these conversations, her or him. And so, that's one option: leadership coaching for both of them.

And so, you know, how to navigate these conversations because we've got some great leadership coaches in our profession. I am not a certified coach, but I do approach much of my, you know, remote consulting in a collaborative coaching manner. So we've got great resources there within the profession, or they could get somebody outside the profession.

We've got several veterinarians that have their own companies. that do mentorship for younger veterinarians. So that might be an option. So I think those, I guess my point here, Andy, is it's not just all on this manager. I would recommend that this person avail themselves of outside resources. It could just be a doctor in the practice that would mentor them, you know, somewhat about how they run their appointments on time.

Andy: I think that makes a ton of sense. I really like that. Yeah. It's always nice to have the realization that you don't have to be the one who does all of the lifting.

Amanda: Exactly.

Andy: This is fantastic. I really appreciate you being here. I really appreciate you tackling this case with me.

For those who don't know you and want to learn more from you, like I said, your column in Today's Veterinary Business comes out every other month. It's an excellent column. Your book is one of my favorites on the business of vet medicine. It is called Leading and Managing Veterinary Teams, and you're putting it on sale.

We talked before, and the plan is it's going to go on sale on Amazon starting the day of the Uncharted Practice Manager Summit, so that's going to be February 28th. It's going to go on sale for a couple of days, and people, if they've been holding off on grabbing it, should jump on, put it on your calendar, set an alarm.

Amanda: Yeah.

Andy: Make sure you jump in and grab it.

Amanda: Exactly. And just so everybody who's listening to this knows, the price that they will see on Amazon as of the 28th is 10 less than it normally is. So it won't say, hey, this is a sale, but just know that in three days after the conference, approximately, that cost is going to go back up.

So that's the promotion that we're doing. And I do want to mention Andy hopefully by the time this airs and whatnot I did a complete update, refresh, design update and everything to my website. So I am super excited. Probably by, oh, I'm going to say certainly by the end of January, the, the new websites there.

It's, you know, it's very similar in terms of content but just new photos and new design and super, super cool.

Andy: I will put a link to that in the show notes. Dr. Amanda Donnelly, thank you for being here. Guys, thanks for tuning in, everybody. Take care of yourselves, gang. Be well.

Amanda: Thanks, Andy.

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh, man. Guys, that's so fun. Thank you to Dr. Amanda Donnelly for being here. If you have not registered for the Practice Manager Summit, the Uncharted Practice Manager Summit, and you're a practice manager, what are you waiting for? It's one day. You can do it from home. You can even work part of the day and then jam out on this summit.

It's going to be awesome. But Amanda will be there talking about a culture of accountability. We've had a number of other workshops. There's going to be a lot of discussion because it is a summit, but you're going to get to meet a lot of other practice managers. It's a really good time.Also, that's when her book will be going on sale. That's February the 28th. Jump on Amazon and grab a copy. You'll be glad that you have it. It is a phenomenal resource. All right, team. Take care of yourselves, everybody. Talk to you soon.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, doctor, management, Training

Feb 07 2024

Does Writing People Up Ruin Team Trust and Culture?

This week on the podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management wiz, Stephanie Goss, tackle the intricacies of performance improvement plans in the veterinary setting that aren't all negative. The traditional approach has been carrot and stick when it comes to performance management. We know that approach is damaging to good culture where there is an environment of self-driven improvement and goals. This time, the mailbag brings us someone from the corporate world who is struggling to find balance between uplifting their team by creating psychological safety and still protecting the practice from a legal perspective through documentation of mistakes. The duo explores the dichotomy between transactional leadership and transformational leadership, shedding light on how both are truly necessary to run great cultures. Let's get into this episode!

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · 272 – Does Writing People Up Ruin Team Trust And Culture?

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


Upcoming Events

🚗🌟 Uncharted is hitting the road, and veterinary leaders, you're invited to join the adventure! Dr. Andy Roark, Stephanie Goss and Maria Pirita are bringing the Uncharted Leadership Essentials Roadshow to Atlanta, Georgia, on May 5th and 6th. Imagine two days of dynamic, Uncharted-style engagement where you'll dive into the Leadership Essentials Certificate program with real-world discussions about YOUR veterinary practices.

This isn't your average CE event – it's a jam-packed, fun-filled experience that promises insights, camaraderie, and memories. Can't make it to Atlanta? Fear not! Future dates and locations are in the pipeline. Rev up your leadership journey at UnchartedVet.com/ONTHEROAD and secure your spot for a transformative ride!

An Uncharted Leadership Essentials Certificate provides you with seven crucial building blocks to lead with confidence at any level and achieve excellence in your veterinary practice. 

Upcoming events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey everybody, I am Stephanie Goss and this is another episode of the Uncharted podcast. And this week on the podcast we have got a great email from the mailbag. We had a chief HR officer for a group of hospitals write in and ask us about how to create some better ways of covering the HR needs to document things, have paperwork and cover our own butts, if you will.

And also creating an environment and a culture in our hospitals where employees and team members feel valued, their psychological safety, and everybody actually maybe even enjoys the process where we get to talk about growth and development. This one was so fun. Just a warning, I get a little hot under the collar and there's a lot of soapboxing maybe, but hopefully in a very good way.

Andy and I both had some really strong thoughts, and opinions on this one and it was so much fun to talk through this. Let's get into it.

Announcer: And now, the Uncharted Podcast. 

Dr. Andy Roark: And. We are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie, the Winds of Change, Goss.

Stephanie Goss: I thought you were gonna say the wind beneath my wings and start singing Bette for me. But you know.

Dr. Andy Roark: You love it when I do that one but no. Nah.

Stephanie Goss: How's it going Andy Roark?

Dr. Andy Roark: It's really good. Yeah, things are good around here. How about you?

Stephanie Goss: You know, it is good. I was really crossing my fingers for a white Christmas here in the Pacific Northwest. And so far it is looking like it is absolutely not going to happen. But we have had a different, we have had like a massive fog in. We got a national weather alert the last two days because we have just had this crazy fog and it's so weird.

Like you go outside and everything is silent and still, and it's beautiful in a very different way. But the kids are definitely like, “When is it going to snow? When is it going to snow?” I don't know. I'm not the weatherman, but I will say being in Greenville when we're recording, this is a little before the holidays.

And I was just in South Carolina and North Carolina for two weeks before, at the beginning of December and the December sunshine is real, real nice. Like I came back to the rain and cold in Seattle and I was like, Oh. I mean, I usually love winter here. Like I love the rain, but I will say it's one of the first times that I've come back and been like, I kind of maybe want to go back to the South.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, it's pretty nice. It's been cool. It's been cold in the mornings, but it's warming up nicely during the day. But yeah, things are good here. 

Stephanie Goss: Things are busy, man. We're getting ready to like kick off. It's so funny because this time of year for most people, over this last week, I've started getting all of the we're out of the office until the new year emails because so many people take the last week or last two weeks of the year off.

And so I've been seeing that. And at the same time, I want to like. There's a part of me that wants to hibernate when I look at our calendars and I see everything that is coming in the first quarter of the year because it is going to be busy. And at the same time you and I are, I think, very similar in this way.

I'm sitting here and I'm looking at everything that is coming and I'm like, you know, just like Dr. Evil, like, let's get there. Let's do it. You know, like I'm excited for the new year and everything that is going to come because there is some fun new things happening with us in the new year and I'm excited to get to it.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. Oh, yeah, we've got, we got a bunch of stuff right stacked up front. We've got the Practice Manager Summit which is in February. So right off the bat, yeah, so if you're a practice manager, this is a one day virtual summit that's just for you, only for practice managers is always very well attended.

So that'll be, that'll, that's hitting in February. And then in April, we've got the Uncharted, oh, then, well, in March, we've, got the Uncharted Cohorts launching. And then, April, we've got the Uncharted Conference in downtown Greenville, which is going to, I think it's going to sell out for sure, because it's the last time we're going to be in downtown Greenville for

Stephanie Goss: For a while.

Dr. Andy Roark: For a while.

And so I think a lot of people who have come in the past are like, that was amazing. I was like, well, you better come back. It's going to be amazing in the future. It's just going to be amazing, very different. So I think that's probably going to sell out. And then and then in May, 5th and 6th, Sunday, Monday, you and me and Maria Pirita and Tyler Grogan, we are doing a two day Leadership Essentials Certificate workshop format in Atlanta, Georgia.

We got a sweet little venue. It's going to be so cool. And then it'll be us and we're going to cap out at probably 60 people or so that we can take, but we're going to run our certificate there and just it's going to be two intense days of working with us, getting everything that that I think someone who leads and manages other people should have.

And so, that doesn't mean it's remedial. I was, we called it the Leadership Essentials Certificate, and I was worried that people were going to be like, oh, well, I've been leading a long time. I don't need it. I'm like, no, this is, it's not the, basics. It is the essentials. And so, if no one's ever given you any training on Vision and values on effective trust building strategies on getting team buy in on coaching and feedback on setting priorities on delegation This is going to be the most valuable training I think that you can have that's what we try to build it out to be.

So anyway, that's fun.

Stephanie Goss: and the other thing that I'm excited about for May is like, I'm, excited about the certificate and being able to, for people to be able to access our content asynchronously on their own time and not necessarily have to be an uncharted member. Like you actually. Get a better deal when you think about it.

If you are an Uncharted member, because our Uncharted members get access to the certificate as part of their membership, but for, you know, you, can do it asynchronously. But what I'm excited about doing it in May is the ability to actually like carve out two days. to work on your practice and think for yourself about your vision and your values and your own team and how do you communicate.

And we talk about DISC and we look at, you know, like the ability to do that and then interact with your peers and talk about how they might be doing things in their practice around these topics and get ideas and get excited. Like that to me is invaluable. And I'm so excited to be able to do that, like out in different locations.

And, you know, we had. Started to hit the road pre COVID and then the world shut down. And so I'm excited to go back to you know, that piece of our vision as a group and get out there and go to different regions and, you know, explore the country and really be able to, you know, experience, experience all the different clinics out there.

So I'm pumped for that. It's going to be a good year. We've got a lot coming for sure.

Dr. Andy Roark: It's gonna be a busy year. No doubt

Stephanie Goss: Well, we've got a great email today. We got an email from a chief HR officer in a corporate practice and which I, love this because one of the things that I love, I know that, you know, when we started Uncharted, we started with a lot of independent practices and we started with a lot of people who were doing their own thing and being indie rebels in vet med. and I love that. And I think we still, as a group and as a community, that's the one thing that I hear from people, besides people saying that we're a little we're, a little cult-like is you know, cause we've got tattoos out there in the world and, you know, we got to own that.

But beyond that is this, like, It just seems like the indie rebels, you know, and I love that. I love that flair about our culture, and I would say that it's really true. And at the same time I think the landscape of veterinary medicine has shifted tremendously over the last, you know, even just the last five years.

And you know, I have always, it's funny because when I joined Uncharted, I was managing a multi site private practice. And I transitioned to a role working in corporate practice and I was still a community member. I was working on the team as well, but I was still a community member. And so I had the privilege of being able to see things from both sides and have really been involved in having, walking through the changing landscape in veterinary medicine as we've seen more and more corporate programs emerge and more companies emerge and things grow and shift and change.

And one of the things that I always try to bring perspective to with the community that I appreciated about working in corporate medicine was t0he benefits of working in a bigger company that has access to resources, like people in HR positions who actually have gone to school to learn about HR and learn about the rules around hiring employees and who have the training and education in a proper way versus myself, who in the beginning, you know, young manager, Stephanie, I was learning by flying by the seat of my pants and learning by making mistakes, not because anybody actually taught me what I was supposed to be doing. And so I tried to soak up all of that knowledge when I went to corporate practice. And so I think it’s been one of the fun things about the changing landscape is the ability to, as independent practices, look at it and say, Oh, just because we're independent doesn't mean that we can't also model that.

That behavior of, we still have a responsibility to get us educated and do all of that. So anyways, I am like super excited because I think this is a great example of where we can learn something from corporate medicine. So we got this letter from a Chief HR officer who was like, look, I know that there is a significant value in creating psychological safety in the team and making the employees feel heard and valued.

And at the same time, I also know that from a legal perspective, our job as employers is to document and there is a facet of that, is kind of CYA, cover our ass, right? And so, they said specifically there is this movement to have performance improvement plans. And they were like, I hate that term because there's gotta be a better way than just having the stick that we're whacking people with only when they're doing things wrong. And they said, what about the idea of having a balance between the carrot and the stick and not just making the HR process and the paperwork only be about the negative? How do we transform that so that we're doing the right things by an HR standard and we are documenting things the way that we're supposed to, but also making a culture where the employees feel heard and respected and valued and safe to be themselves and flourish as employees?

And so like my little HR geek heart just ate this email up and I'm so excited to talk about this with you. 

Dr. Andy Roark: I love this a lot. You and I have actually, we've talked a lot about this because, you know, we, I think we actually have more Uncharted members at this point that are in corporate practices than are in independent practices. We, yeah, we, it's a lot, we do a lot of work in the corporate space and we work with a lot of corporate practices.

And again, it's just evolution of Uncharted in a lot of ways, but it's the same, it's the same problems. It has different, skins.

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: And some different rules. It's, the same work.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. And that's, we're all doing the same job.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah,

Stephanie Goss: And that's the funny, that's the funny part about it is every, we get so caught up in a feeling like our problems are unique, but that's what I love about having community is that you get out there and you see. Oh, the other side of the street has the same problems, and sometimes they have more hot mess problems than I do, you know?

Dr. Andy Roark: The thing, I just, we're speaking in broad strokes here, right, because, every independent practice is different and every corporation is different, and even inside corporations there's a big variation, but like, basically, they fall, there's sort of two different ways that you can struggle, right, running a practice.

One is That you can be so systematized that people don't have a lot of autonomy, right? They don't get to freestyle, they don't get to make choices, everything is a bureaucracy basically. You can be a bureaucracy that takes forever to do stuff and people can't make decisions and get stuff done.

Or, you can be on the other end, which is it’s the Wild West. And we don't have systems, you know what I mean? And

Stephanie Goss: It's a free for all.

Dr. Andy Roark: every day we're hoping this thing lands.

Stephanie Goss: Yes, I have worked in both of those practices. 

Dr. Andy Roark: And, sure, and again, broad strokes, our independent practices tend to be more on the side of Wild West as far as the problems they face.

And our corporate practices tend to be more on the bureaucracy side. Everything has a system, everything has a protocol. We don't, we're not really empowered to make decisions here or get things done. Just. You know, there's just, there's a lot of guides and a lot of processes that have to be followed and it's wonderful for us to work across that whole spectrum because you learn a lot from the practices that have a lot of systems. 

Stephanie Goss: Oh, absolutely.

Dr. Andy Roark: And then you also say, well, in this case, having some autonomy, allowing people on the ground to make the call, that is so much more efficient.

Than, you know, than having this, big process that they have to go through and it's a balance. It's it's a yin and yang, but it's been wonderful for us to work with both. So anyway, but we, you and I have worked with a lot of corporate groups and things, and this is a type of question that we get a lot from the corporates. And it's a lot about the performance improvement plan. And they all have different acronyms and what they call it.

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: But basically, nobody wants this to be a terrible process. And it's a lot of emphasis on how do we document, how do we give people objective feedback? How are we clear about what people need to do to get bonuses?

And, at the same time, how do we not make it so it's all about the numbers? And how do we make it so that they don't think that we're heartless? Because we're not. and how does it not feel like this terrible measuring of you based on the dollars you bring in and we don't want it to be that way and And so it's just, it's a fascinating challenge.

It's definitely something that we've run into, but I'll, and I'll say this again. When we talk to our corporate practices, they're like, how do we give these developmental programs in a way that don't make people feel like we're all about the dollars? And then on the independent side, we have owners who say, how do I get my team to understand that we have to do things a certain way without talking to them about the dollars and making them feel like it's all about the dollars?

It's just like the, at the end of the day, everybody's got to pay their bills and everybody's got to pay their staff and nobody wants to, it's not all about the money and nobody wants to make people feel like it's about the money, but it's also, it's obviously required at this point that we talk to people objectively and use actual numbers to talk about performance and things like that.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. And I want to kick us off from a headspace perspective with that. So I think that the most important thing and where we have to start with headspace perspective is if your job is to be on the HR side of things as a leader, whether you have formal training or not. It is absolutely imperative that you remember that performance discussions, performance documentation, HR documentation is a two way street.

And for most of us, and I found this to be true in corporate practice even more so than in private practice. It is often easy to slip into looking at as a one way street in the sense that when you are working for a bigger company and there are more layers and more people involved, the ask for documentation becomes even bigger.

And so it's very easy to focus on only the improvement side of things. It's like you're doing a great job and I only need to document the things that are not great, right? And it doesn't matter whether you're corporate or you're private. So many of us slip into that mentality of it is, I only have to document the things that could potentially need to fall under the cover your ass scenarios.

And the reality is managing people is absolutely a two way street. And we have to start from a headspace perspective with remembering that. And if you don't have a process and a system to document as much of what is going right, if not more of what is going right, as you do with what is going wrong, then you are absolutely looking at it with the carrot and stick approach.

And you are never going to have success with creating Happy team members, because if all you talk to me about is the stick, and I only get carrots when you want something from me, of course I'm going to become disillusioned as an employee.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I agree with that. All right, let me, for Headspace, let me lay down a couple things. So there's two big pieces I need to lay on the table so we can look at them. And so basically, I always start these conversations with two different leadership styles. And I want to emphasize that one is not better than the other.

When I lay them down, everybody's like, oh, that's the right one. I'm like, nope. They are both tools that should be used and balanced.

Stephanie Goss: yes,

Dr. Andy Roark: So the first is called Transactional Leadership. And this is tit for tat. This is, if you do this good thing, you will get this reward. If you do this mistake, you will get this punishment.

It is the carrot and the stick. That is it. You clock in, you give me your time, and I give you this hourly rate. That is Transactional Leadership. It's 100%, give me this, I'll give you that. Okay. The other leadership style is called transformational leadership, which sounds so much better. It's not, it's just different.

Basically, transformational leadership is collective commitment. It is the belief that we are a team that's doing work that matters, and we are all in this together. It is about shifting the mentality from focusing on myself as an individual to focusing on our team.

The difference in me running five minutes late and being mad because I'm going to get in trouble and me running five minutes late and being mad because I'm going to let the team down and those guys are doing a bunch of work and I'm not there to help them and it makes me feel crappy because I want to be there for them because I know they would bust their butts to be there for me.

And that's transformational leadership. Now, it seems obvious, like, oh, that's better. It's not better. And you can't just use one exclusively.

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: These are two different tools. And so from a headspace standpoint, what I got from this question was, Andy, we've got the transactional part down. If you do this, you get ahead.

And if you fail to do this, then you get punished. Like, we got that down. That never goes away. There will always be a thing where there are rules. You broke the rules. This is the punishment for breaking the rules or this is what we said success looked like and you crushed it and you're getting celebrated because you did the thing and nailed it. And we can use both of the tools. And we need to. And this is what I think we're being asked here, is how do I roll in some transformational leadership into our assessment and development program? And so I think that's, I think that's what we're going to work on today, is how do we start to introduce those things into our assessment and development programs.

Stephanie Goss: And well, I think your point about transformational leadership just sounds so, like, transformational. I want there to be like sound effects that come after that, right?

Dr. Andy Roark: I hate that. I hate that name.

Stephanie Goss: Right.

Dr. Andy Roark: just, it's so woo and it sounds, but like transactional leadership is fine. It is clear rules. It is clear expectations. If that's the only tool you use, it sucks. Like, but like people don't want to get held accountable. But also I will tell you transformational where you go, there are no rules.

Everybody's just here because they want to be. 

Stephanie Goss: Because we love each other and we want to care about each other. Uh Huh. Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: That doesn't work either. It doesn't. And so anyway, that's why I always start this by going all right, these are equal and I hate that one of them is transactional and one of them is transformational 

Stephanie Goss: I need some kind of sound effects there from Dustin. But no, I think it's the same way too, in terms of just pure language. And this email gave us a great example, performance improvement plan, right? And that was something that I, actually knew about in private practice and used in private practice, but it's the tool.

It's a big tool in the toolbox when you get into bigger hospitals, doesn't matter whether you're corporate or independent, because it's a way for people to manage behavior that's going on. And if you step back and you think about it, performance improvement plan is looked at solely in the negative.

Across the board, as an employee, as an employer. I hate it having to deal with PIPS and have conversations with people about improvement, because the framing for it and the only lens with which most of us view it through is negative. And if you step back and you look at it, It is actually the same as transactional versus transformational, which is the language absolutely sucks, but there is nothing wrong.

And we should all aspire to improve our performance. We want to grow and develop as employees. And if we think about it through that lens and think about, there is always room for me to grow as a human being. If you think that you don't have room to improve, you're kidding yourself. And I don't, like, you know what I mean?

Like I, we all have places where we can grow and develop and improve. And yet we look at the language through that negative lens and we only use it as the stick. And so I think that's another example of where we step back and we look at it and we say these two things actually. Both matter and both have to be present.

There should be improvement in the self-directed, I want to grow and develop, and you should be able to have, every member of your team should be on a performance improvement plan because there should be some sort of plan for growth and development. Most of us only use them when we need performance improvement and the negative, like you're not doing this thing and if you don't start doing this thing, here are going to be the consequences.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah I, feel like I talk about this a lot recently in our podcast, but it's just, it's simple, but it really is, I think, a core part of my sort of personal philosophy and my life philosophy is the relationship that workers have with their job is a relationship. It is a relationship. You should be treated how you want to be treated in a relationship.

And I can't imagine having a friend call me up at the end of the year and say, you know, Andy you were late to our guy time. Like, Six times. And you know, we've been keeping track, and you actually bought three fewer rounds of beers this year than you did last year. And, you know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: And it's just, I can't imagine that, of being held that way.

And, like, and our fun metric you took a dip this year, Andy. You took a dip, you're, we're down ten percent group fun. And I want to know what steps you're going to take to get that group fun rating up in 2024. This is insane! But at the same time, also, if I had a friend and they consistently didn't show up and they let me down, and they, you know, and they, just they, flaked out, I'm just, I'm not going to, that's not going to be a strong relationship.

It's not going to be a relationship I'm really excited about.

Stephanie Goss: Sure.

Dr. Andy Roark: But that's not how we measure that relationship, and so I feel like my advice here, and we'll sort of start in Headspace and we'll talk about how to do it in Action Steps. For me, you have to, I, I think that the personal development meeting needs to be reimagined into an, honest to God, personal development meeting.

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: That's what it has to be. And so what, I think what's happened is, As we've built, as we've built our practices, especially as they get bigger, everything kind of gets more systematized, which makes sense, but a lot of the why gets stripped out and replaced with how.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Yes. Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: We can end up with these ways of evaluating people that are built on numbers and very specific how we extract the knowledge.

And it's, it is good to have clear expectations and to be objective, that is true. But we strip the whole why out of the way we evaluate people. And we leave them feeling gross because people don't want to be widgets in the machine. That's especially in this industry like we're in an industry where meaning and purpose really matter the people who come here like they want to do something they want to have an impact and we and when you strip that out of their development meeting, they're, essentially, they're evaluation and you look at them based on something that's not what energizes them or not what they came for, you get frustration. And so the simple, I think, headspace answer to this is I want to create a way of evaluating people that is relational, meaning I want them to be seen as a person.

We do have to talk about the metrics and the fact that you didn't show up for my birthday, you know? Or you showed up for my birthday drunk. Whatever the friend problem is. We do have to talk about that because that is a thing that we have to talk about that is real. And also, I want you to be seen as a person.

And, I want this to be relational in that this shouldn't be a one way dump of I, your friend, am gonna tell you how you're doing and take no feedback the other direction and make sure that this is unidirectional. Like, none of that stuff builds the type of relationship conversation we're talking about.

If you don't want it to be carrot and stick, it can't be unidirectional down at the person, and it also can't be on only the measurements that you think are important. And we don't ask the other person what they think is important.

Stephanie Goss: Yes, absolutely. And I think the, to you, I think you, you made a brilliant point, which is the bigger we get, it doesn't matter who owns you, the bigger you get, the more people you have to manage, the more that you need systems, right? And so I, that I totally see that and there's value in that. And it is very easy to tip over the line of needing a system and strip away to your point, the why, and I think my own experience with that, particularly in… in corporate medicine, when it comes to evaluations and review and development would be that in order to systematize it, you ask the employee to tell me what you think. Tell me what you think, right? You ask them to do a self evaluation and that should be.

That should be a thing. They should have an opportunity to say, this is what I love about my relationship with you as an employer. Right? And it's really easy in a big system to take that and be like, okay, well, I have to apply scores to this and I have to have equilibrium so that I can know where this employee falls in the spectrum of the other hundred technicians that I have or the other 20 technicians that I have. Right? And so there's this thing that happens where instead of it standing on its own and it being the two way dialogue where the employee gets to come and say, Hey, this is what I love. And maybe this is where I have some opportunity to grow.

So what I have seen it become for a lot of people is the employee, and this was my experience. I wrote my self evaluation, and then my boss was asked to take my self evaluation and argue the grades that I gave myself with me by replacing it with where they think, Oh, well, you gave yourself a five here.

But here's examples of where we think you didn't live up to a five, so you're actually a two, right? And that is the system where it's taking away that relationship, it's taking away that conversation, and it's making it purely transactional. And that's why for so many people, when it comes to development, there's such a negative feeling, and it's such a negative connotation and why if you ask managers and employees alike, they all freaking hate the evaluation process because it is, it has been built to be this transactional thing, not a relationship based thing.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. I completely agree with that. I, think any, I think the whole system, Where you evaluate someone once a year.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Hate it.

Dr. Andy Roark: It is, fundamentally flawed. You know what I mean? 

Stephanie Goss: Everyone hates it.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, it is just fundamentally flawed. Now I also understand, it is what it is. You know, when, if that's how the system is built, then that's the system we have to work in. And we can work around it, but, it is, really hard. You know, we when we work with corporate groups, we, and I will talk about this in the action steps a little bit, but, we actually work with leaders about how to present the things that matter to them in a way that can be seen as being valued or valuable to in their evaluation.

So for example, one of the things you know, one of the things for people who come in and they're getting ready to have their evaluation is. Unless it truly is a one way street and you're just sitting there and you're getting talked at, you should have the opportunity to say, Hey, this is what I did this year, or this is what I'm proud of, or these are the things, this is where I have seen growth and development in myself.

And I think one of the missed opportunities is that a lot of people don't know how to handle that question. Or they feel bad bragging about themselves. They say, well, I don't want to, I don't want to feel, I don't want to brag about myself. And they end up in this game that they're not prepared to play. And, it's, again, it is what it is. It's as a system. So, if you go into this meeting and you're going to be evaluated based on your numbers and you have not thought through what you think you accomplished in this year or why you think that you performed at a high level, then you go in unprepared and the managers on the other side of the desk and they have documentation and they have numbers and they have metrics and they have all of the information.

So, they have all of the information. And they kind of have all the power, and a lot of people go in and they don't, they just haven't thought about advocating for themselves or how they want to present their perception of how they've performed. And I think that's a missed opportunity, but again, it goes back to that relational feeling that we want to try to create.

If the person doesn't believe that they're going to get a chance to say, well, this is how I saw the year, or these are the things I'm most proud of, or this is where I really feel like I grew and developed.

It doesn't feel conversational. It doesn't feel fair. It feels like you're getting called in front of a judge and you're not allowed to talk.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, so I, agree. And I, love that the, our writer was like excited about, they're like, I hate this. There's gotta be a better way to do it. And I you know, I am so glad that they asked the question because it is I, agree on a personal level as a manager. I hated it. I hated this part of the job because so often, the only way that companies knew how to deal with it was to turn it into a system. And it was just you were the cog in the wheel. And that's not fun for anyone. And so I love the challenge of talking about how do we reimagine it? How do we create, how do we create a space where it is truly about the person and the, to your point, the relationship that we have as employee and employer.

Dr. Andy Roark: Let's take a break and then we'll jump back in and we'll start to walk through like what this might actually look like as we put it together.

Stephanie Goss: Sounds great!

Hey friends, you have heard Andy and I talk on the podcast about our Uncharted Leadership Essentials Certificate. And because you have, you know that we designed it with every member of the team in mind, because we believe that everybody on the team should have basic, professional, personal business development skills in their toolbox to be able to help make, maximally effective, efficient, and excellent team.

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Dr. Andy Roark: All right. So, we have to start when we want to put something like this together, or we want to start to lean away from carrot and stick evaluations. It's got to start with your mission and your values. Don't you agree? If we want an all for one, one for all mentality, if we want people to feel like they're a part of something, if we want them to be motivated by their desire to support the team and the people around them, they have to believe that stands for something besides their hourly pay rate.

And I think, I, think that there's, I think that some companies kind of pull off talking about this at a high level of this is what our, you know, our, corporate group believes. I think most of them don't. Some of them try and some of them don't even try. I don't think that you, I think you can also work at a regional level.

I think you can work at a smaller level. And, I think what you have to do, here's the key. You have to go through the process of finding the purpose, the meaning, the values that actually resonate with the people that you're leading.

And if you, if your stated purpose, mission, value don't resonate with them, or they don't believe that those really are the values, then you don't have anything except a carrot and a stick to motivate them with.

And so the first, and honestly the biggest driver of this, has nothing to do with the actual evaluation. It has everything to do with the messaging and the culture that we build around what are we doing here? What do we believe in? What is the good that we are doing in this world? And if they don't buy into it, you don't have anything left but the carrot and the stick.

And so I think the place for most practices to start is in that regard. What are the values? Who do we see ourselves as? What matters to us? And I think that there's great power in doing that at the practice level. I could see doing that at a regional level. You can do it at the national level, but you really have to have all of your leadership all the way down the chain buy into it.

And then, You have to actually walk the talk, because talk is cheap. You have to figure out how to demonstrate to your people these values are real and we mean them. And only by doing that do you have a chance of having something greater than a carrot and stick.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. And I agree 100 percent with that. And I would say that for most people, like I think about my journey in veterinary medicine and my peers' journeys. When I worked both in private practice and in corporate practice, it was the rare exception where I as a team member was involved in developing the vision and the values of our practice.

It was usually the vision and the values that were set down by somebody else and said, if you're going to work in this practice, you're going to uphold this mission and vision and values. And it might be something that I totally agree with and could totally get behind, no argument. Even then there's no buy-in for me as an employee . And so, to your point, I agree 100%, it has got to start with the employee being a part of the process.

Stop looking at them solely as an employee who's going to do what you want them to do, and start looking at them as a part of the whole and a part of the team. And their opinion and their thoughts, if they truly are the right person for your practice, should be just as important to you as the things that you value and the direction that you want to go in.

And so I think that's where it has to start. And most people, especially my friends in corporate practice, are like, but we have, you know, when I worked at NVA, it was like, well, but NVA has vision and values. Totally fine. Totally fine. And if we're going to be an NVA practice, we should be able to buy into that vision and values and where we are going.

Otherwise, we just sold out. Right? Like, so, but we should be able to agree with that. And. And. I have no, as a, as an employee of an NVA practice in Poulsbo, Washington, I have no connection to the thousand plus other NVA practices across the globe, right? Beyond their, I haven't had the chance to meet most of them for most of us when we work in corporate practice.

Maybe you meet some people in your region, but what mattered to me was like, how can we as a team of 20, working in Poulsbo, create our own vision and values as a group that matters to us, that would help us support the vision and values of NVA as a bigger company, right? And so most of us are like, well, we just have to fall in line and we just have to follow whatever our boss, it's the same in private practice, like we just have to follow whatever our boss decided is the vision and values for the practice.

I think that's bullshit. And I think that's where we have to start is making the employees stop looking at them solely as employees. Make them a part of the team. There has to be connection or they're not going to stay.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. or, they're, just not going to be motivated.

Stephanie Goss: and engaged. Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: than what's in their best self interest. They're just, not. And so, but I will say this, too. I don't want anybody to lose heart. A magical leader, whether it's a, I mean, I've seen associate vets do this, it can be a lead technician, really magical leaders can make people feel like they're a part of something that matters inside of something else.

If you've ever, you know, been in a corporate practice and somebody says something like. Well, that's how we do it here at Blank Animal Hospital, and it refers specifically to their little group. You can build a culture in a practice like that, and it can be a very positive culture. You know, we can have the, it can just be the we love to laugh culture, like that's who we are, that's how we do things here. You can make that culture and make it something real, even if you're inside of a larger organization, that definitely happens. But if you want to have a corporate culture that motivates people, you're going to have to really put your money where your mouth is and show people that these values we say are values, they really are the values.

And so anyway, I just, I think that's absolutely mission critical.

Stephanie Goss: Yep. I agree. Okay. So if we have collective values and vision and the team is part of that process, so we know where we're going and it creates the road where they can know we're going to put our money where our mouth is and we're going to, we're going to, as a team, look at it from how do we walk our talk?

Then where do we go?

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, the next emphasis has got to be on personal vision and values. It's about knowing your people. If you bring your people in, the more you treat them like a widget the less relational this is going to be. The more you treat them like a widget, the more you're going to reduce them down to carrot and stick, right?

And, the less motivated by anything other than carrot and stick they're going to be. And so, and this sounds simple but honestly, baking into the development process a desire to understand and know the individual person. What does this person care about? What are their vision? What are their values?

What is their mission? When do they feel like they're making a difference? What are they most proud of in the last year?

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Yes.  

Dr. Andy Roark: Those should be part of this evaluation again, if you don't want to be carrot and stick, what are they doing? What do they care about? And again, here's the other thing is if let's just say that we don't have strong buy-in on a team culture. If you understand who a person is and what they care about and what their values are and what their aspirations are and what makes them proud, you can still talk to them about what is important and highlight the non monetary gains that they have made in the last year and the development they have made as it benefits their personal mission and agenda.

Stephanie Goss: What I was going to add to that is I think when you think about it, if you are trying to know who your people are and you're trying to know their mission and their values, who they are, what they love about their job, what they're proud of, and in particular how they have grown, both in the things that are challenging to them and the things that are their strengths already, you absolutely cannot do this once a year.

This has to be an ongoing process and I think that's where so many of us are set up to fail is that we're involved in a system. And it was this way for me in private practice and in corporate practice where it's a once a year, you're checking a box and it can't, you're never going to have great success if that's the only way you approach it.

Because I'm sorry, I've never met a human being with the exception of maybe my kid who can tell me what he did when he was two years old. Like I've never met a human who can sit there and accurately. Repeat back to you what the last year has looked like for them, where we are going to think about what are the most recent things that have happened for good or for bad, and throw that shit at the wall if we're only doing it once a year.

And so we have to figure out a way as leaders to, it does not have to be a huge formal process that happens every single month, but it has to be ongoing, and it has to be regular, and it has to involve figuring out who those people are. What they care about and what strides they're making in their own development and growth.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. I agree with that. I think if you have to, again, if we're back to, this is the system we have and we do this meeting once a year, I still think that whole getting to know them and knowing who they are, that needs to happen all year long.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Yes. Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: That’s not something we sit down and we try to accomplish that here.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Again, getting buy-in on the culture and the mission and the values of the practice, knowing your people, really knowing them and knowing what they care about, those are all things that can happen outside of, this meeting. I still think that if you want this to be relationship, relational at all, if it wants to feel, you know, collegial or related to us as a team, there, We have to listen to the people like that.

There has to be a part of it. That's not unidirectional. It's all I just, I don't think you can bring someone and sit them down, talk at them and then send them away and be like, wow, that felt great. I felt like we really connected there. It's never gonna happen. And so, so, so number three for me, I said, you know, know the collective vision and values know, your people and then you got to listen to them.

And so that means a couple of different things from them is, I don't know how we ask them to take feedback from us if we're not willing to take feedback from them.

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: And there's a million mechanisms on how to do that, and it's beyond the scope of this podcast, but they have to feel like they are being heard, that they're being asked for their feedback, that we want to develop as an employer. As much as we want them to develop as an employee, because again, if we're, like, no, we're, going to do what we're going to do, because that's what's best for the bottom line, but we want you to develop that, that, that doesn't, that's not relational at all. Like that doesn't, that again, we're back to widget to widget land.

And so we have to be willing to take feedback. The other thing that I really think that we should emphasize to people, and this is kind of what I touched on earlier is, We should empower our people on how to present themselves and what they are proud of. And so, one of the things that you and I have done with corporate groups is we'll bring leaders or doctors in and things like that and we'll know evaluations are coming up.

And we'll have them sit for a moment and think about what they are most proud of. Like, what do you think you accomplished? What are you most proud of? How did you develop? What acts of service did you perform? What acts of mentorship are you proud of? And just think about those ahead of time. Now, think about the things you're proud of.

How would you present them in a way that upper management will see value in and understand and say, Oh, I see this because Dr. Goss is focusing on mentorship that is actually a focus on technician and assistant retention, which checks in this nice little box right here. And now. The thing that you're excited about, that you feel good about, you get credit for it.

And I, I really do think that is a vital part of this because I think, I don't think that a lot of people know how to get credit for good work that they're doing. And I think, you know, talking to our Chief HR Officer, I think that, increasing transparency there is beneficial so that people do feel seen and they do feel value and they do get credit for the work that they are actually doing and so having some transparency around how are you measured and then a little bit of practice and training.

I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. People do not know how to take the fact that they spend hours a week mentoring the techs and assistance. They don't know how to present that in a way that is seen as beneficial. And I would say, they are increasing practice capacity by training up our paraprofessionals.

They are increasing technician and assistant retention or attempting to increase it by investing in these people. They are developing I don't know. They are facilitating cross training of other staff members to reduce the chances that we're going to miss key personnel and have to be closed or down for a time.

Like there's a number of organizational objectives that they are helping to accomplish, but if they don't frame it that way, often they don't get credit for it. And so I think that HR and people doing these evaluations should be asking about these things. I think it should be helping. Our support staff, our doctors, the people they're evaluating to present themselves fairly and accurately and to get credit for the hard work that they're doing.

I think that's important. And so I put that under, under, you gotta listen to them. You gotta help them. You gotta hear what they're saying they did. You gotta help them present themselves well. You have to listen and take their feedback if they, if you want them to hear yours.

Stephanie Goss: And I think if you are working inside a system, and again, it has nothing to do with who owns your practice, but if you're working in a system where you have a form and your, process for self evaluation for your team is to hand them the form and ask them to fill it out, the number one step that most of us miss is teaching them how to fill it out. And that's your point. It's like what you have, we have to give them the skills to, like, we think, Oh, we're creating a system. And so this is going to help them shine by giving them a form. And I'm spelling it out. I'm telling me what you're proud of this year. That doesn't help them.

 Tell you what they're proud of in a way that is going to tie it to what you care about as a leader, whether you're a middle management level leader, or you're a top of the chain level leader. And so part of it is we have to teach them to brag about themselves. And that is something that I, it is very rare to be taught that skill.

Like most people don't do it. And so that is a huge game changer for all of us as leaders is if we stop looking at it as let's create a system to make it easier for everybody and start looking at it as how can we make it relational? We can make it relational, real fast by teaching them the skills to give us the answers that we're looking for.

Not letting them miss the mark and then be like, well, you didn't give me any of the answers I need. So here's my answers back for you. That's when it becomes carrot and stick and you're just whacking them with a stick.

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh, or having them walk out and say, man, I busted my hump all year long. And, I could not check these specific boxes that I don't really understand. And, as a result, all that I was evaluated on is a number of pets that I saw and the transaction you know, the average transaction amount, the revenue that I generated.

And you go, those are terrible metrics that make me feel like a widget and not a person, and I hate those metrics.

Stephanie Goss: A hundred percent.

Dr. Andy Roark: We've got to teach them on how to engage in a way that they're measured or they feel seen or measured. That's not widget widget style. You know, I'll say this. So my wife is a college professor and they do evaluations at her university. 

Stephanie Goss: Uh huh. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Kind of interesting. They get evaluated every year on three things. It's their teaching, it's their scholarship, and it's community service. And so those are the three things. And they know it's the three things and they have weights and whatever.

But you basically, you're evaluated on those three things. And I think that if you wanted to add service into how you evaluate your employees, you can. And you can say, this is 20 percent of your evaluation or 33 percent or whatever. But I put that forward to say, don't tell me the only way we can evaluate people is on hard numbers.

I'm not saying you shouldn't use hard numbers, but you can absolutely have 50 percent of the evaluation be hard numbers and 50 percent be service to the community, mentorship and support of the team. You can break it out however you want, and then at least people don't feel like it's numbers, financials. Carrot and stick.

Stephanie Goss: Well, and here's the reality, like, yes, you, are, you have to do your job as a leader, right? Like it, again, if I, when I was in independent practice, my job was to do the once a year evaluation. So that to this writer's point, we had the cover our butt documentation that said we're sitting down, having the conversations, doing the thing, checking the boxes. Nobody is telling me that has to be the entire meeting.

I can spend 15 minutes going through the form with somebody and be like, okay, we've checked that box. And now we're going to talk about this other thing. No, but who's telling you that you can't have the rest of that conversation be about personal growth, personal, you could make up your own form. You could use somebody else's form, like there are tons of ways that you can work within a system.

And create an opportunity to let people feel like people and let people tell you what they're proud of. Because the quickest way to get teams to flourish is to let them tell you what they're proud of and let them do more of the things that they love doing.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yep. I agree with that. So, I would put that in there as well. You know, you have to appreciate your people, and you need to celebrate them, and you need to celebrate what matters to them. And so I think that's a big part of it for me. You gotta be honest with them. Right? I mean, clear is kind. And I think that's part of having these conversations.

It can't all be hand waving, especially if they're going to get an evaluation score, or they're going to get a bonus, or they're not going to get a bonus. I do think part of this is, you can do all these things, and you need to be honest. But you do need to be honest about what is being looked at, and what's being measured, and where they are, and that's hard. But I do think that's part of it. I still think that you can care about people, you can listen to them, you can take their feedback, you can help them present themselves honestly and in the best light possible, you can make them feel seen, and you can be honest with them about where they are and what their possibilities and opportunities are, and, how they're being evaluated and why they're being evaluated that way.

I think you have to be honest with them. And, as our friend, Phil Richmond says, honesty without empathy is cruelty. You don't have to be cruel when you are honest. You can see them as a person and still be honest with them and know that this is a person who's putting themselves out there and they're being evaluated in a way that's probably not, it's probably not pleasant.

Stephanie Goss: Well and I think the reason that it's probably not pleasant and why it often feels cruel, I mean, I'll, being honest with you all, like, I cried after a lot of evaluations, both in private and corporate practice, because the way that it was approached was a surprise. I walked into that room not knowing what I was going to hear.

And I really truly, like my personal belief is as a leader, if I walk into a room to have that conversation with someone and they're surprised by anything that I say, I haven't done my job because my job is to communicate with them. My job is to be honest and that room is not the first time that I should be having that honesty with them.

If we're having an, an, myself included. Like there have been times where I've gotten an evaluation and someone has said to me, this is an area where you're struggling. And I can absolutely accept that because it's not the first time I'm hearing it. We've been talking about it and I know it's a struggle and I know I'm still struggling.

And I can tell you where I've improved because we're talking about it well before we sit down to have evaluations. But so many of us are stuck in this system where it is a box that we have to check once a year, that we sit down and we are trying to be honest with people because we do want them to get better scores.

We're not doing it out of malintent. Like we want them to grow. We want them to be better next year. But the first time they're freaking hearing what we have to say is in that process. And, to me, that's an indication that I didn't do my job as a leader.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. I agree. I mean, I totally agree with that. I think the last thing for me is we have to empower them. If, no one wants to be a powerless widget maker. Like, no one wants to feel like they're being, held accountable, but they don't have any autonomy or any power to change their situation or to Yeah, or they don't have any power to change the situation just that's my big thing. If you're gonna hold someone accountable, which is kind of what we're talking about as far as looking at metrics and doing an evaluation If i'm being held accountable, but I don't feel like I have any power to affect my situation or position, that's hugely de motivating.

And it's really important when we started to talk to people about what is important and what we're looking at, that they feel like they have the ability to affect those outcomes knowledge on how to affect those outcomes, guidance, opportunity, autonomy, things like that. So that's sort of my last thing is make sure that they feel empowered.

When I was a kid, I was growing up and I would always work with my dad and my dad was a, my dad was a surgeon by training and so he he would hold his hand out and say nurse and somebody would put a scalpel in his hand and that's how it was to work with my dad is I never actually got to do the thing. I, I stood and handed tools to dad, you know what I mean? Whether we were working in the yard

Stephanie Goss: It didn't matter. Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I would mix concrete that he would then make rock walls with, you know? And like. And I just thought about that later and he was always frustrated that we didn't want to help him more and I'm like this is not fun for me.

Stephanie Goss: Right. Right.

Dr. Andy Roark: You're doing all this stuff and I'm standing there and if he got frustrated with the project, I was just standing there

Stephanie Goss: Right.

Dr. Andy Roark: and I got to hear about it, but I don't have the power to do anything, you know, and I think a lot of people can feel that way working in practice if they don't feel and perceive that they are empowered to make changes in their practice to, to be able to affect the outcome of what they're being evaluated on. So that's the last one for me.

Stephanie Goss: I love it. I love it. Oh man. This was I, this was so much fun. This is, as you probably all can tell, this is like a soapbox for me. I've done workshops on this. This is a fun one. I really enjoy this question. And I, so I think the ultimate answer for me to the original question is it is what you make it.

And like you have unlimited power to change it. And, that choice, like that was game changing for me to realize I might be in a system. I might be given an evaluation process. That doesn't mean that I can't, that I can't take it, use it, and also change within the system.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I agree. Well, cool. Well, thanks for talking through with me.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. Have a great week, everybody.

Dr. Andy Roark: All right. See everybody.

Stephanie Goss: And that's a wrap on another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. Thanks for joining us and spending your week with us. If you enjoyed this week's episode, head over to wherever you get your podcasts and leave us a review. It's the best way to let us know that you love listening. We'll see you next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management

Jan 31 2024

I Can’t Handle It Anymore, How Do I Teach Them Self-Awareness?

This week on the podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and former practice administrator and veterinary practice management super nerd Stephanie Goss dive into an email they received in the mailbag. A listener of the podcast heard episode 229 where a technician was sure that the team had to be talking behind their back. Andy and Stephanie discussed having self-awareness as a skill in that episode and our listener wanted to know how to handle it when you have a team member or team members who seem to have little to no self-awareness skills. The questions boiled down to “How do you actually teach self-awareness?” Is it actually possible? Andy and Stephanie feel really strongly that for the most part it is and there are some ways that make approaching the teaching aspect a lot less of an uphill battle. This is a rowdy one, let's get into this…

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE

DiSC Information and Assessments

Veterinary Leadership Institute's Veterinary Leadership Experience

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 271 – I Can't Handle It Anymore, How Do I Teach Them Self – Awareness

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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All Links: linktr.ee/UnchartedVet


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey, everybody, I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I are tackling an email from the mailbag, but this one was a really general topic. And so there are some pieces that Andy and I really wanted to dive into. And so we made it our own.

And hopefully, it is helpful to our original writer. They had listened to some episodes of the podcast and we were talking about having self-awareness and specifically they were asking, how do you help teach your team self-awareness? And so, as we do, Andy and I filled in and colored in between the lines a little and I think this one was a lot of fun to talk through and I am very excited for it.

So, let's get into it, shall we?

Dr. Andy Roark: And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Roark, and the one and only Stephanie. Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself, Goss.

Stephanie Goss: That's such a perfect song. I love it.

Dr. Andy Roark: It is a good one. It is a good Eric Clapton acoustic song. I like that, like that one a lot.

Stephanie Goss: How's it going, Andy Roark?

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh man. It's, I gotta tell ya. It's toxically good. It's toxically good. I'm gonna spray you with some goodness that's gonna make you feel icky. I got up for 6 o'clock CrossFit this morning, and it sucked so bad.

It was, running and burpees. If you don't know what burpees are, you just throw yourself on the ground and get back up and then jump in the air, and that's one. And the workout was run for these set distances. You have a clock running down, and you have to run as fast as you can, and then in whatever time you have left after you finish the run, you do as many burpees as you can before the time runs out, and that's your score!

And then you do that multiple times and add your score together. It was 37 degrees this morning. Which, if you're Canadian, I don't know what that is for you. It's like, zero-ish. It’s just awful. It's red face, stinging nose, snot running out of one nostril cold. That's what it is. It's prickly needles in your hands cold.

Stephanie Goss: It's two degrees Celsius.

Dr. Andy Roark: Okay, it's two. Fine. But it was dark outside, I was running, my face was like, burning red, and then I had to throw myself on the ground, and I did that for an hour. And, when I got home, the cup of coffee that I had was the best cup of coffee I have had in my life. I was just, I was like the joy that I felt with my regular cup of coffee.

It came right out of the old Dr. Andy espresso machine. And it, I was just like, have you ever had the cup of coffee when you're just like, “This is, this is bliss.” It's not even about the coffee. It's the warmth, and it's just oh man. But I walked into my nice toasty warm house, and it was nice and quiet, and I got my coffee, and I drank it.

And I was like, this is happiness that you can't have if you don't do something horrible and sucky beforehand. You know what I mean?

Stephanie Goss: I was going to say that literally sounds like the most awful morning to me.

Dr. Andy Roark: But the coffee was so good! Because the morning was so bad. And I'm like, isn't that beautiful? Like, I just think it would sit with I told you it was toxic. I told you it was some toxic stuff I was gonna throw at ya. And you're gonna hate it. But I just want you to know that the If you want to have the best cup of coffee in the world, you have to go run in the darkness and freeze your butt off to make it feel that much better.

Stephanie Goss: Yes, I mean, I don't know that I would even if my creaky old ass joints thought that they could do that, I don't know that I would voluntarily ever do that. But I hear you on doing something awful and then, you know, then feeling that joy.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, it's funny. It made me think about when I wrote about the jelly packets this last year. You know and it was like we were on a camping trip with my family and basically, we're eating the same thing like every day

Then we took a ferry and on the ferry, they had individually wrapped non refrigeration requiring jelly packets, and I was like oh and like my children like, you would have thought, you would have thought that I had, you know, opened a chest of gold for them, like their eyes opened wide when they saw the strawberry jelly packets. And I was like, we can put this on our bagels. They were like, “thank, you, dad”. Everyone's like, oh,

Stephanie Goss: Like Tiny Tim.

Dr. Andy Roark: Have you, exactly, have you tried the grape? It's magnificent. It's the cheap craft, it's craft jelly. They're like, oh. this is the best jelly I've ever had. So anyway.

Stephanie Goss: That's so funny.

Dr. Andy Roark: All of that to say, all of that to say I was reminded again today that the sucky parts are what make the not sucky parts really good.

Something good to remember when you're going through a hard time or you're miserable is, oh man, going through stuff like this is what it takes so that the good parts really feel great.

Stephanie Goss: Well, I was definitely not up and at 6 a.m. CrossFit today.

Dr. Andy Roark: No, I woke, you up for the podcast.

Stephanie Goss: It's so funny because I have, I mean, I get asked this a lot because I live on the West coast and we, our team is mostly at this point East coast and everybody's Oh, but I actually am generally. Okay. With getting up and starting my day at 4 a. m. because the trade-off is that we're all done by like 2 p. m. Pacific. And then I can, it's been wonderful for me because then I can actually be around to take kids to practices and do, you know, do family stuff and it's great. Except when you have a hard time sleeping or your kids are off school for holidays and they're amped up and it's 11pm and everybody in your house is still awake and you've been awake almost 24 hours at this point.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. Brutal.

Stephanie Goss: And then you sleep until 8am.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah.

Stephanie Goss: and it was one of those mornings where I woke up and I like looked at my, I looked at my phone and I went, “Oh, my God, I'm literally podcasting with Andy in five minutes.”

Dr. Andy Roark: (laughter)

Stephanie Goss: So, you know, it's winter break over here and we're, all surviving. But I did I did do my last minute, I did do some last minute Christmas shopping today. And I am very, I guess I'm very thankful for Amazon because it's so funny. My, my kids have hit that stage where I'm not sure how they feel about things. We still have belief in the Christmas season and so, like, I never want to spoil that magic, but I had some emergency I had some emergency shopping to do this morning because our letters to Santa this week had some totally left field ball game change, know, it was just like, “oh, okay.”

Dr. Andy Roark: It's funny. We set that expectation pretty early on. I was like, look, it's a long way to the North Pole and Santa's not getting your letter if you don't send it. Four to six weeks out.

And just, cause otherwise, they're like, “Oh.” I'll give you the example to it. It's when your kids used to order Halloween costumes, and they'd be like, I wanna be Buzz Lightyear!

And, they were all about being Buzz Lightyear. And they loved their Buzz Lightyear costume. Until the day before Halloween, they were like, Nope. Hard left turn.

Stephanie Goss: I want to be a ninja turtle.

Dr. Andy Roark: Mace Windu from Star Wars

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. Right.

Dr. Andy Roark: You're like, “What!? Can Mace Windu in big Buzz Lightyear suit, is what you can be.” But yeah, but it's the same thing of like, “Oh, I just found a new thing that I'm gonna ask for.” It was funny, our youngest daughter said to us this year, she was like, “alright, look guys, I'm just gonna be honest with you, I know about, Santa, and so I just want you guys to know that.” And Allison looked right at her and goes, So you don't want Santa to come? And she's like, “No, I still want Santa to come. very much want Santa to come.”

Stephanie Goss: I love it so much.

Dr. Andy Roark: We just thought, we said to her “Do you want all of your presents to be wrapped? Or do you want to wake up and be surprised? And she's like, “oh, I want to wake up and be surprised.” And it was like, “Okay, well, I'm glad we talked about this so that we can continue to do the exact same thing that we've been doing. But now we all know that you're in on it. Congratulations.”

Stephanie Goss: I love it. I love it so much. Yeah. It's fun. Like I have to say, I, I know that there will be days coming where I will absolutely hate being a parent of a teenager, but like I'm still in that phase where I really love my kids at the age that they're at right now.

Dr. Andy Roark: I've had a good time.

Stephanie Goss: They are so fun, and they are turning into little humans, and I'm just, it just amazes me, and I'm also so proud of them, and I came out the other day, and they've been on winter break this whole, their last day of school was Thursday last week. So, they've been around and I'm like, look, I still have to work. You guys have got to occupy yourselves and figure it out. And, I came out the other day after we had a, bunch of stuff happening like back-to-back and they were together and they were doing, I was like, what are you guys like?

It got real quiet and I'm like, what are you guys doing? Like when they're toddlers and it gets real quiet and you're like, what am I, what fresh alibi am I about to find? And they were like. Oh, we're making Christmas cards for everybody in our school and we got everybody's addresses and we're going to mail them to them because we're not going to see them for three weeks and we're sad.

And I was like, I freaking love you little people. Like you guys are…

Dr. Andy Roark: How did you create people like that? What?

Stephanie Goss: Thanks, jerk.

Dr. Andy Roark: If you were like, “hey, we're just figuring out the getaway route we'll take when we rob a gas station.” I'd be like, those are the Goss kids. Those are the Goss kids that I expected show up.

Stephanie Goss: Those will be the Goss kids when they're in their late teens and early 20s.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, there's like a map and three options on where to hide the body. I'd be like, yeah, that tracks,

Stephanie Goss: That's coming. That's, coming. Just let me, enjoy the beautiful amazingness these early teenage years.

It's so funny because that's one of the things that I have really enjoyed is like when your kids find something that they genuinely really love. And I, it's funny because I haven't felt this as much since leaving the practice, because one of the things I love the most about being in the practice was finding those things in the team where everybody just gets to do the thing that they really like.

And it's those moments of puppies and kittens. It's those moments of someone hitting their first catheter, like those moments of like pure joy, and I, it's hard when you get to the teenage stage, like they're surly and they don't want to talk to you about things, but that's the one thing that I will say is some of my kids really love they're school and it makes such a difference.

I feel really bad because I, we have friends whose kids hate school and the difference between the, like the environment is so huge and I'm just really thankful that my kids are not robbing gas stations yet.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. Well, they're young. Ironically this episode is about self-awareness, and there's a lot of people who tuned in to actually hear us talk about managing someone who lacks self-awareness, it's not lost on me that we have not talked about, we just, we've talked about, Jelly, and CrossFit, and the morning, and shopping trips.

Stephanie Goss: Listen, this is what you get, this is what you all get when Andy and I are on Christmas break. You get an extra-long intro…

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah.

Stephanie Goss: of Andy and Stephanie.

Dr. Andy Roark: I'm just gonna call this part one, and then next week we'll actually do the thing we came to do.

Stephanie Goss: No. Okay. So, we got…

Okay. So we did, we got a great mailbag episode and I always love when we get the episodes where someone's like, “Hey, I've been listening to the podcast and you guys said this thing and I have to go back and go. When did we say that? What the hell were we talking about?”

Dr. Andy Roark: We got like 230 episodes, and people are like, remember that one where you said this thing? And I'm like,

Stephanie Goss: Nope.

Dr. Andy Roark: No, I don't.

Stephanie Goss: Gosh, bless them all,

Dr. Andy Roark: Often times I'm like, What did I say? And then I'm like, That sound, that, that sound, Are you sure it was our podcast?

Stephanie Goss: But they were like, you recently did an episode where you guys were talking about and you called out technicians in the example, we called out a technician who apparently was lacking self-awareness and they were like, but you did it in a good way.

Like this technician had self-awareness and it was really positive and they were like, “How do you handle it when people on your team do not have self-awareness. And they were like I am a manager and I've got someone who's, really similar and they seem to have little to no self-awareness and so I'm really struggling with how to deal with that because it seems like the longer I go on as a manager, the more and more common it is that I have team members who don't have any self-awareness and I'm really struggling with like, how do I teach this?

And so I thought it was a great one. And also, I was like, I don't even, that's so huge. Like I don't even know where we start unpacking that.

Dr. Andy Roark: It's a beast. Okay, so let's start talking about self-awareness at a high level. This is sort of head space here. We need to start talking about what we mean. When we mean self-awareness. So basically, for me, the simple definition of self-awareness is the ability to see yourself, which I think is one of the greatest challenges in life.

It is just headspace. It is very hard to see yourself. It is very hard to say, boy, when I say this, other people are going to look and, see the kindness that I feel in my heart, or they're going to they're going to perceive me in the way that I imagine they're going to perceive me. I have lectured in front of tens of thousands of people and I don't know how they see me when I'm done. I go, I hope they thought that I was relatable, I hope that they thought that I was compassionate, but I don't, maybe they saw me as the heartless business guy, or maybe they thought me, saw me as an arrogant jerk, who was like, this is how you're supposed to do it, or this is how I do it, and I'm the hero of this story I hope they don't see me that way, but again I don't know their perception is their perception, I've had people come up after I've done lectures and said, “hey, you offended me when you said this thing”, and I was like, “oh,” I And then immediately go, “oh, I did not mean this to be offensive, or even to say it in a way that we'd find it offensive.”

But, then here's the other thing. I never know if the way that this person perceived me is the way that other people in the room perceived me. What if everyone was like, “oh, Andy, ooh.” What if this one person has experiences in their life that was like, “oh, that joke about Ryan Gosling. It was specifically a story about Ryan Gosling,” and he didn't, he did not like the story. And, and I'm like, oh man, did I, you know, am I coming off in a bad way to other people? You don't, know. And you can't tie yourself, this is a spectrum, right? You shouldn't tie yourself up in knots thinking about what other people think about everything you say and do. That's a miserable way to live. And being part of a team, being part of society and not even considering how you're perceived by other people or how they feel or how you're making them feel, that's also not acceptable. And so we're all trying to find the middle. And again, I personally have tended to track over too far towards the, I think a lot about what people, what are people thinking, you know, are they, am I communicating clearly? Are they seeing me the way I want and I think over my life, I have started to swing a little bit back more towards the other side, which is to say, well, you know, I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin and I still care. I care what people think. I don't want to be unaware, but I have moved a little bit back more towards, you know, sort of saying, well, you know, I need to be straightforward and some people might not like it.

And, that's more okay than I used to think that it was. So anyway, I don't know, does that make sense as far as just defining self-awareness of, it's, your ability to see yourself is, what we're talking about.

Stephanie Goss: It, is. Well, and I think seeing yourself as like self-recognition, right? You see how you are perceived, you see how you might be perceived, right? And to your point, like you're looking at yourself and you're like, oh. I recognize now that some people might find this offensive, that was not my intention.

And I think you being able to see yourself at that level is really, important. And, I think self-awareness particularly when we're talking about it in terms of the team's behavior often goes a little bit beyond that in the sense that it, I think it's really the ability to recognize and understand how your thoughts, your emotions, your behaviors, your actions, how that impacts others in the sense of like knowing yourself, knowing what your strengths are. And, this is where it tends to come up as examples in the clinic you know. We tend to ask people when we're interviewing them, you know, what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses?

And when I asked that, when I asked, tell me about something that you know is, a challenge for you as a person. And tell me what you've done to work on that. When I ask people that question in interviews, I often get very surface answers, which is actually okay with me because what I'm really looking for is I'm looking for those people who do have developed self-awareness and who could look at me and say, I know that my time management skills are a challenge for me.

And so like particularly, like example would be if I'm interviewing a doctor. If I have a doctor who says to me, I love talking to people. And so I can be challenging in the exam rooms because I really want to get to know my clients. And so I know that I can struggle with time management in the exam room.

And here's the skills that I've been working on to work with my tech team to improve on that and have less impact to their day and to the rest, everybody else's schedules as a result, right? That's a great example of true self-awareness. It's like when you and I, are very similar and we are both high I's on the DiSC scale.

We'd love to talk to people who are like big golden retrievers, and we both struggle with follow-through. And, you know, an example of that for me is like when we have a team meeting, I'm like, “Hey, can you help me? Capture the things that are assigned to me because I will totally talk about them.

And when we have the conversation, I have the best of intentions of doing the things, but if it doesn't get written down for me as a task, I might not get to it. Right. That's self-awareness is knowing. Not only what your strengths and weaknesses are, but potentially how it impacts other people. And I think that's when we talk about it in the clinic as a negative thing.

It tends to be when we have team members where we feel like we're coaching them to do, to get better at something and they just don't seem to get it. That's, where I see managers often going, “Oh, this person is totally, you know, not self-aware and they have no idea.” Does that make any sense?

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, it does. I mean, I, let me throw out a couple of things that, cause I was sitting down thinking about this, cause when we talk about this, managing without self-awareness it, really helps to have some examples and so examples that I have seen. I, and these are just sort of throughout my career, I have talked to a manager or owner or medical director who was complaining about someone who worked at their front desk and they were like, “you know, these people, you just, you're trying to get good people up there and empower them to do good work, but you know what? You just can't fix stupid.”

And they said this in front of a group of people. And I was like, here you are talking about improvements that need to be made by this person when you yourself are demonstrating behaviors that are less acceptable, you know what I mean? Like it's just the mentality and I get being frustrated, but it was also when we're actively talking about trying to develop somebody and you're like, well, I can't fix stupid well, it was just it was just sort of a lack of awareness of what the culture they were sort of trying to create was.

I've seen people they'll be; they'll round their staff up and they're like, “Guys, we are not going to bash clients. If I hear any client bashing, this is going to be the end.” And then they're the ones who come out of the room and roll their eyes. I'm like, man, you're, writing everybody and then you're doing these things.

And if I said something to the person, they would say, well, I didn't. I'm not bashing that client and I'm like, if you don't see the impact that you're having, that's a lack of self-awareness because you are having this impact on others that you clearly don't see. There's the blame thrower, right?

The blame thrower is the person who cannot see that they have made a mistake, which is there ain't nothing wrong with making mistakes. We all make mistakes. We should just lean into that. But it's that person who, if you say, hey. You didn't clean the exam room before you left last night you know, after I asked you to do it, they would say, “Oh, well, I, you know, I thought that somebody else because, you know, they had said that they were going to help me wrap up. I thought that they were going to do it”

And it was like, no, you're, just dodging responsibility here and you're having this impact on the team. But you're not willing to own your mistakes and you're trying to throw them on to other people. And everybody sees you doing this, but you don't seem to recognize, again, the impact that you're having or the fact that this isn't helping you or the fact that everybody sees this and this behavior is toxic.

You just don't, you don't have the self-awareness to get that. There's people who they don't listen. They will go to meetings, or they won't read their emails, or they'll, be in the conversation in the clinic about what we're going to do, or change, or address the situation. And then five minutes later, they're like, I don't what were we doing?

And again, everybody spaces out. This is, you know, to, we all space out. The difference in, hey, I spaced out, and hey, I'm lacking self-awareness, is the pattern of behavior. And the willful lack of understanding about the fact that it's frustrating to everybody else to explain to you yet again what we all came together and talk about.

And it's like, when people get mad and they're like this meeting could have been an email, it couldn't have been an email. You know why? Because there are people like this who won't read their email and they won't know what's going on if you don't bring them together and beat them over the head.

And even after that, they still won't know because they just tune out and they don't understand the negative effects of that behavior.

And the last one I'll throw out real quick is just, there are people who are, they're constantly negative. They are constantly negative. And being negative, having a hard day, that's, one thing. But it's amazing how, and you guys all know this, you've had this person who, and maybe they're going through a hard time in their life or whatever, but like, every word out of their mouth is negative. Every word. And it's just being around them makes you feel bad. It's not that self-awareness is being negative.

It's that a lack of self-awareness is not recognizing you only have negative things to say and people are wanting to spend less time with you because you make them feel bad because you never stop complaining.

And so that the lack of self-awareness.

Stephanie Goss: And, I think on the flip side of that, the example of someone who has a tendency to be negative and actually is self-aware would be the person who, you know, comes to somebody else on the team and is ” Hey, we're going to talk about this. We're going to talk about, you know, I'm going to be talking about how we're doing on time management in the exam room.

And I know that I have a tendency to get negative, and I have really strong feelings on this topic. Can you help me in this meeting today by, if I'm, like, giving me a signal if I'm getting super negative and I'm just not letting things go or whatever” right? It's recognizing.

Those things that you are, like I said, they're not always weaknesses. And I think the tendency as leaders is to look at lack of self-awareness. And to your point earlier, is just call people out for having a lack of self-awareness because you're looking at it as a negative, but having self-awareness is a true superpower.

And so it should be looked at positively in the sense that people should be able to call out not only their weaknesses and their challenges, but their strengths as well. And know when that strength is helpful and also when that strength can be a hindrance in a specific situation. And so I think being able to celebrate that self-awareness.

And I think for a lot of us, we want to be able to celebrate it, but we often look at it. It's one of those tools that I see getting used, to your point, in the negative a lot, where people are like bashing the team for not having it and not doing the thing. And then they're doing things that are at the same time examples of not being self-aware.

And it's, it's a tricky beast.

Dr. Andy Roark: Sure. Well, I think you did a really nice service there for me, which is pointing out the behaviors I said by themselves are just human behaviors, and we all have our things, and I thought that was a great example of if you're someone who tends to have a negative reaction to new information, saying to someone, “Hey, if I start to, to take this in a negative meeting or sound negative about what's going on, can you give me a signal?”

Okay. I think that's great. I think asking ahead of time. Hey is it okay if I just listen to this meeting and collect my thoughts and then ask some questions later or come back later on because again, I do have a tendency sometime to where my first reaction can be negative to new ideas, which means if it's my idea, I love it.

If it's your idea, I'm a bit skeptical. But I think about it and I come back around. Okay. I know that my first reaction tends to be negative. And so I really try hard not to shoot ideas down when they're presented to me. And just let them breathe. I'll give you the example of not listening. I'm kind of a shiny object kind of guy. And I am, I'm a bit

Stephanie Goss: What? You?

Dr. Andy Roark: And it's true. It is. I take notes in meetings, not because I plan to do anything with the notes, because I know that me actively taking notes will make me listen and pay attention.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: and I do it because I know the weaknesses that I have, I know myself in that way, and so I do it, and so it's not that I'm saying, you should listen, as a guy who struggles to listen.

Stephanie Goss: Right.

Dr. Andy Roark: Is, you should recognize that this is a weakness of yourself and take steps to correct it. And that's, the type of self-awareness that we're talking about. But how do you teach that?

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, it's, well, it's hard. It's really hard, right? And I think that has actually been one of the hardest pieces of my journey as manager and as leader, because it's really easy for, people to hear as a, leader, when you talk to someone on your team about their own self-awareness, the first inclination, it's just human nature, is when someone brings up something that we're doing or something, yeah, usually a behavior first inclination is to They're, like, they're crapping on me, like, they're criticizing me, right? And I'll give, you guys an example. So I am a very expressive person, shocking, I know so I vividly remember one day when you called me and you were like, Hey, can I talk to you for a second? And I, and you said, and I said, sure.

And you were like, listen. You are a super expressive person. And that is wonderful in that you get really excited and you have the ability to just make everybody feel the joy that you're feeling because they look at your face and they can see it. Super positive. Right? And, great. And also, and you were like, and you are just as expressive.

And when you're not happy or when you are thinking negative thoughts or you have your processing. Right? Your face can look not so fun, and people see that, right? And so, if I was not self-aware, I could hear that piece and immediately be like, Andy's criticizing me, he's telling me that I am not a team player.

I could hallucinate a million different things about what you just said. And, someone who is self-aware and I'm going to, you know, I'm going to pat myself on the back for a second. I was “Oh, I know my I know my face because it's been a lifelong challenge”, you know, and I immediately, when you, in this instance, when you said it to me, I knew the look that was probably on my, face because I'm, aware of it.

Right. And so instead of looking at it as a criticism. I was like, Oh, this is Andy being constructive and helping me. And so I, didn't look at it in the negative. And I think that's the hardest part for us as leaders is that we're often not. Great when it comes to teaching this as a skill at getting people to move beyond hearing what we've said as a criticism and teaching them how to be empowered by the idea of self-awareness.

And so I think that's, I think that's part of what makes it so hard.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. I agree. I, look at, self-awareness in two phases. Okay. So, so imagine a scenario and there is a behavior that I do that is perceived negatively and then I receive feedback on that behavior and then I accept that feedback. There are people who can't do any part of that, they, they, don't, they can't accept the feedback and that's, a really hard, that's a really hard person to manage.

Stephanie Goss: Person who denies or defends or blames someone else, right?

Dr. Andy Roark: Exactly, yep. Exactly. So that's really hard. Now, the step up from that is the person who accepts feedback, which is a huge step up. Right? This is the person who is coachable, which is again, I think that self-awareness is the most underrated leadership skill there is. It really is. Because if I can give you feedback and you tell me I'm wrong, you blame somebody else, you refuse to hear it.

My ability to lift you up to make you successful, to grow you in our organization is very limited. And so, that ability to take feedback is critically important. The Jedi level, right, the enlightened level is this, I do something that is perceived negatively, and I recognize in the moment, or on reflection, that it was probably perceived negatively, or I think back and say, I, should not have gotten frustrated like that, or I wish I had paused instead of just reacting negatively, and you know what?

I'm giving myself that feedback, and then I'm going to accept the feedback from myself and make a change. So, those are the three levels, right? So the first person goes, I'm not taking feedback from myself, I don't think I did anything wrong, certainly not going to take it from you.

That person is very hard to deal with. If they don't choose to change that mentality. I don't think there's anything we can do to help them, Stephanie. Like, I can't make someone take feedback, and if they refuse to take feedback, I, usually, they're going to get cut loose. You can't grow them, especially if they have a negative behavior, and it's, they're not going to get better.

They fall squarely into my category of, remember the difference in a struggling business and a thriving business. The struggling business has the same problem again and again. And the thriving business has a new problem every day. And if this person won't change, they are the problem that I have again and again and I can't do that, and so they have to go. And so, that first person is hard. The, person who can't see themself, in best case scenario, is the second person. Who is the one who will take feedback if you give it to them, but they can't give it themselves. And the person who has self-awareness is every day.

They're having a stimulus. They're evaluating what they see. They're giving themselves feedback and they're improving because they want to get better. And so that's key. Now, when you look at these second two people who take feedback and who take feedback from themselves think about a training program, right?

Think about a training program. Think about physical therapy. You've been injured and you've been injured. In the first case, you only work out when the physical therapist is there. They come to you, they say, all right, this is what I need you to do. And you're like, I'm going to do it while you're here. I'm going to do it.

And then I'm going to stop and I'm going to be done until you come to me again and give me another exercise to do. Versus the physical therapist comes to you, they say, this is what I need you to do, and you say, I'm going to do it, and I'll do it on my own, and I will continue to think about it, and do it, and work it into my routine, and then when you see the physical therapist again, you have been building those muscles, you have gotten healthier, you've gotten stronger, and so that, that's the superpower of self-awareness, is it allows for this very rapid growth that you don't get if you're just taking feedback, but that growth is exponentially greater than the growth you get if you don't take any feedback.

Stephanie Goss: Mhm. Yeah. And, I think the hard part for a lot of managers is why we got this email, which is okay, I, when you do understand that and you see it, you're like, how do I, teach that? You know, like how, do I get them, how do I, get them to learn and move from the different levels that you just laid out?

How do I get them to move from step one to step two and ultimately get them to, level three? Right? and that's the hard part.

Dr. Andy Roark: I agree. I think we should take a break and we should come back and hit some action steps of: If you have this person, you've got someone who's struggling with the types of issues we're talking about.

 How do you work with them? Let's take some shots at it when we get back.

Stephanie Goss: Okay.

Hey friends, I am here for a quick second to hype our upcoming April Uncharted conference. Why? Not because I think it's going to be in an awesome spot for our last time for a little while in downtown Greenville, South Carolina at the beautiful Westin Poinsett Hotel. Not because we have an awesome kick ass lineup of speakers.

If I do say so myself. I am not speaking, but we have got a wonderful lineup, including some of my faves in industry. We have got Bill Schroeder. We've got Craig Spinks. We've got Maria Pirita. We've got Dr. Sarah Wolf. We have inside and outside the industry experts. That's right. We've got some outside the industry marketing expertise that is coming to the stage and, uh, in the version of our friend Vicki Hammond.

And she is the senior VP of marketing for a market, a big marketing firm. And I am super excited to have you all get to meet her and nerd out about marketing. So, and of course the one and only Dr. Andy Roark will be there as well. And so we've got an all-star lineup, but that's not what I want to talk to you about.

I want to talk to you about the fact that I don't want you to miss out on this awesome opportunity to network, to talk about your practices with your peers, to participate in our unique and different style of conference where you're not just sitting in lectures, you're actually workshopping and working on your business while you're with us.

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Dr. Andy Roark: All right. So, training self-awareness is really hard. As I, said, before the break, it's my opinion that, if you will not accept feedback, then I can't train you. I can't, beat on you, I'm not willing to beat on you metaphorically to get you to change when you don't want to change.

That's not, a feasible, realistic thing in a work environment, and it's definitely not part of the culture that I want to have. Now, I grew up watching movies about high school football teams where the coach, you know, put the kids through hell and they were transformed through this constant toil and torment I'm like, that's not where I want to work.

I don't want to work at your football camp. You know, I want to work at a vet clinic where we all laugh and have fun and we're nice to each other. I'm not interested in making a crucible that's going to transform someone who doesn't want to grow or develop or transform themselves. And so, for me, a lot of that is this can be a deal breaker as far as employee is like part of our core values is growth, development, lifelong learning, you know, and if you're not willing to take feedback and grow and develop, then that's a failure of our core values.

And that's the kind of a deal breaker in you being part of our team.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. I think I totally agree with you. And I think one of the most powerful lessons that I learned as leader, it was someone said to me once we were talking about, because a lot of this has to do with giving, feedback and to your point if someone isn't willing to grow and change, they're probably not a good fit.

If that's the culture that you're developing, they're probably not a good, fit. And someone once said to me when we were talking about feedback before you can point the finger at someone else. You have to take a look at the, at least four fingers that are pointing back at yourself. And it was so, simple.

And in the moment, I was just, I, I remember writing it down and I, but I didn't understand. And I think when it comes to self-awareness, it is really, important because you cannot ask others to do the thing that you're not willing to do yourself. And so, I think when it comes to teaching self-awareness, it has to start with the, it has to start with you as, a leader.

Because you have to be willing to look at your own self and learn. I think you have to be the guinea pig. I think the answer is you cannot teach someone else self-awareness if you are not working on your own self-awareness first. And so I think it starts with learning about what is self-awareness and learning how to develop and hone those skills for yourself.

Because you may be someone who is a level two, you might even already be a level three, but if you're not consistently demonstrating to your team the behaviors that are going to help them see what you mean when you give them the feedback. It's not going to, it's not going to go anywhere. So I think for me, action step number one is learning about self-awareness and guinea pigging and practicing and teaching yourself.

Dr. Andy Roark: I do like that. I would say, so I would say this. When we talk about giving feedback on self-awareness. I am very wary to tell people that they lack self-awareness. I don't think that's a good label, and even though we've been talking about it, but here's why, hear me out. Self-awareness is a character trait.

It's like being smart, kind, being self-aware. And if you say to me, Andy, you're not kind, that is an attack on me as a person. you say, Andy, the team does not perceive you as being kind when you exhibit this specific behavior.

Stephanie Goss: Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: That is not an attack on me as a person. That is very different.

Stephanie Goss: Cause it's, it's something you can change.

Dr. Andy Roark: Exactly.

And, while you say people can become self-aware. It's like, yeah, they can also become strong and they can become fast, but those aren't behaviors. Those are still characteristics they have to work on and change. And so, I'm not saying that saying someone lacks self-awareness is inaccurate because we just spent the first half an hour talking all about how that's true.

So I do believe it, but it's not when we communicate to someone else saying, hey, you lack self-awareness. That's not, I don't find that to be a useful label. I think it, it, devastates people or makes them feel like they have failed as a person or they're being judged. I'm much more likely to try to narrow in on the behavior.

And I'll talk about empathy, I'll talk about the perception that you're setting an example that doesn't line up with the, what you asked the staff to do. So, the client bashing, you know, I, I need, we need to talk because there's a perception that while you say you don't want to bash clients, you're doing things like rolling your eyes that sends the signal that you do want to bash clients, or that's what's being perceived by the staff.

And I need you to know that and let's talk about what we're doing around, around clients. And that is a much easier conversation than, hey, look, we need to talk about your self-awareness. And like, that's just night and day difference. So I would think about self-awareness, but I would coach and give feedback, not about self-awareness, but rather by the impact that their behaviors are having.

Stephanie Goss: Well, and I think both, I think that certainly saying someone is lacking self-awareness is labeling them, right? And that is closed ended because they can't change that. If you give someone a label, removing that label is very hard, very hard. And most people give up before they even start.

They're like, well, they already think I'm a jerk or they already think that I'm not self-aware. So why would I, you know, why would I even try and fix this? And I would actually argue that even telling them like there's a perception problem feels like, oh gosh, if everybody thinks that I'm not self-aware, like it's a, spiral potential.

I love what you said about rolling your eyes. And I think if you said to somebody, “Hey, I, you know, I wanted to talk to you for a second today when you came out of the room with Mrs. Smith and you said to Sarah in the hallway, gosh, she was so nasty and you were rolling your eyes about the fact that she rolled in five minutes late with her Starbucks in her hand and it inconvenienced your whole day.

That moment was a great example for client bashing, right?” And I know that, you, I'm not saying that you do it regularly. I'm not even saying it's a pattern of behavior. It's a one and done. And when we give feedback and we give people an example or even several examples, it is still changeable.

It's not a label. It's not a permanent. It's not a closed ended door. It's a, Hey, this thing happened. And in the future, you can make sure that it doesn't happen again. Like you can change it. You can make it different. And I think that's the difference in how we coach and getting someone to actually accept the feedback has to do with that closed ended door, right?

It's like I'm labeling you and I'm writing you off before we even start.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, I think, your example there opens up a couple of things that I want to put in our action steps. So, in order to do what you just said step one is creating a culture of honesty and feedback. Or yeah, culture of honesty and trust so that you can give the feedback. And so, for a lot of people, it's the ability to say to the person, hey, when this happened, this is what came out of it.

And if you're like, wow, I love the way that she said that that's straight out of our coaching and feedback course that we have in our Leadership Essential Certificate. And so if you're like, oh man, I would like to give feedback like that's, where that comes from. And so you can pull it on the Uncharted website or over at VetFolio. Anyway, that you've gotta be able to talk to somebody like that, you know?

And so one of the big things is trying to build trust with, it's just knowing your people, trying to build trust with your people so that you can give them that feedback and say, “Hey, when you did this, it was an example of what we were talking about.”

Stephanie Goss: Yes. And, I think that is, I'm so glad that you said that because that for me is really like the step two. So I said step number one was looking at it yourself. And the reality is that giving feedback and taking feedback have to be a two way street. And so as a leader, if you want to create that culture of trust and honesty and the ability to give and take feedback, it has to start with you.

And that's where for so many of us, we get caught up in our role as a quote unquote manager is to direct other people, to do the things that we want to do. And we forget about the fact that if, that's all we do, all we're doing is creating culture of do as I say, not as I do, we have to be willing to look at our own actions and put it out there in front of the team to say hey guys, you know, at the, end of the day, a really self-aware practice owner or doctor, in the example I use, like if they come out of the exam room and they're talking smack about a client, even if I've had to mention it to them as a manager, a really self-aware owner or leader would be like, End of day huddle.

“Hey guys, I realized that I came out of the room today and I was irritated because Mrs. Smith was 15 minutes late and it was screwing up my afternoon. And I, you know, was smack talking and I realized that I did that. And I, you know, I just wanted you guys to know, I don't, want us to client bash.

I realized that I did it and it's, you know, it's not okay. And I just want you to know if you see me doing it. Please call me on it because I want you guys to, I don't want any of us to do it myself included, right?” And it's that ability to own it for yourself and put it out there in front of your team.

If you're not willing to do that, you can never teach someone else that skill if they don't see you being willing to do it first.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, so I agree with that. Other things I'm sort of pulling out of this is, remember that clear is kind here. You need to speak in specifics. If this person truly lacks self-awareness, and you're like, you know, you just you know, like when things got unpleasant in the treatment room today, if they're not self-aware, they're not going to know what the hell you're talking about.

I have no idea. Like you to say, when you did this, it's an example of what we're talking about. And so you need to clear as kind, speak in specifics, you know, talk to them about the specific thing that you're talking about. And then, you know, right here, some people go, well, shouldn't I talk to them about self-awareness overall? And I think, the hardest part of this, but I think it usually takes care of itself is, if you catch these behaviors. And you have these conversations, and you give this feedback, and you can get heard. Oftentimes, you will teach people the skills of self-awareness that they will apply in other areas, if that makes sense.

And so, if I can get the person to understand how they're affecting the staff, oftentimes, they will learn about themselves, they will start to learn about their ways of working, and then we can apply those things to the clients, or we may be able to get them to apply those things to their communication with clients, you know, separately.

And so don't, lose sight of, this is one of those opposite ones of, don't get lost in the forest when you're focusing on an individual tree. Look at this specific example and fix the thing that's in front of you and talk about that thing. And, continue to work on it. Continue to make progress.

If you can make progress picking an example and working on it and picking an example and working on it, ultimately, we can build those muscles. So these people can expand what we're teaching out to other areas. But a lot of times what happens is people don't know how to fix what's in front of them because they're focused on the big nebulous self-awareness problem.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: So anyway, it's in my experience. Big nebulous self-awareness is too big to fix, really. So figure out what the specific things are and coach to those things.

Stephanie Goss: And I think the last thing action step wise for me here is that as a leader, you absolutely have to, I mean, we've talked about this on the podcast a million times, humans are simple animals and how do we train and have it be most effective is with rewarding positive behavior and rewarding the behavior that we want.

Right. And so I think as leaders, A lot of us think about self-awareness and we're like, Oh, I need to coach to this when it's not going well. And that's the wrong way to look at it. What, especially if you have someone who you feel like is really not self-aware, your job as a leader is to coach to the moments where they are being self-aware and praise them for doing it. And if you forget that piece of it, it's not going to go as well as you want.

So when you are intentionally like, “Hey, I have this person and they really want to work on their self-awareness skills” part of the action planning for yourself is going, okay, what am I going to do to catch them being good, right? What am I going to do to acknowledge and be like, hey, today If you have a person who the great example from, my own past is I had a team member who would talk over everybody in the team meeting.

And they wouldn't raise their hand, they would just blurt and it was like, you know, they, were the big voice in the room. And when we started working, a lot of it was on tone and the way that they were coming at it. Like, to your point, the perception of the team was like, they don't care what anybody else says, they only want to get out their point and then they stop listening.

And so we had been doing some ongoing work. And so for me, the goal was, I needed to look at this not as, okay, this person is I want, they're at A, I want them to get to Z, and I've only seen them get to B, and being frustrated by that, right? As, that's the easy place to go as a leader. For me, I had to sit down and write my own action plan, which was, okay, if I want them to go from A to Z, I want to continually reward them.

And so it started with things like, “Hey. Thanks for letting other people speak up in the meeting today. I noticed that you know, I noticed that you did, I noticed that you, blurted out, but you were raising your hand and I really appreciate that. That's a great step in the right direction. Thanks for doing that thing.”

Right. And it became measured over time where I was looking for, the end result was like, hey, I mean, we had to institute a talking stick because of this person. And then it became easier when I was like, oh, hey, we didn't even need the talking stick at all today. And then it was like, hey, we haven't needed the talking stick for the last five meetings.

And like, I really, I know how hard you've been working and I just really wanted to call you out and say, hey, thanks, you know, and it's a rewarding that positive behavior and figuring out how you're going to catch them doing the good thing more than you're giving them feedback that it's still the negative thing is still happening.

Dr. Andy Roark: Well, I mean, I think that there's a point there too. And we talk about this a lot, but you know, we talk a lot about training and I don't care how smart you are. You're a simple animal. And when we think about, what do you think about, say, just training dogs? We can train dogs, and we train them with positive reinforcement. I don't think dogs have self-awareness. I think that they , you know, they're not self-aware. They're not thinking about the impact of their behavior. When Skipper Roark jumps up on people,

Stephanie Goss: Just gonna say…

Dr. Andy Roark: He's not thinking about, when Skipper Roark raided the Christmas hiding place and ate my dark chocolate orange. That my wife got for me because it's my favorite thing in my stocking every year and then I had to make him throw up. He wasn't thinking about the ripple effects his behavior had. But Skipper can be trained by positive reinforcement. same thing here is, you know, we can always try to move people in the right direction by praising the behavior that we want to see.

And a lot of times we get so focused on fixing problems that we stop training the positives. And quite honestly, the positives are a great way to get people moving in the right direction and celebrate them. And we ask people to make sacrifices or do things that are hard for them, and then we don't celebrate them for succeeding at those things, those little things.

And a lot of times people go, well that's so small, should I celebrate it? It's remember when we train, right? We just when we're teaching a dog its name, we praise it and give it treats just for looking at us when we say its name, even if it's probably looking at something else. We're like close enough…

Stephanie Goss: Right?

Dr. Andy Roark: Let's reward it. And again, I don't care how smart you are, you're a simple animal and this is how we all get trained this way. And so anyway, I think that's really important. I got two resources that I would put down real quick that I think are good if people are up for it. Um, you, and I are big fans of DiSC.

And so we, we teach DiSC at Uncharted. DiSC is communication styles. It's how people communicate. I think DISC is a great tool for people who are trying to learn self-awareness or need to learn self-awareness because it shows you very clearly that people communicate differently. And it talks to you.

It's a, you take the test. It tells you what type of communicator you are and it tells you how people perceive you positively and it tells you how people perceive you negatively and a lot of people's minds are blown when they're like, what do you mean? I'm too direct. What do you mean that people get frustrated because I'm unwilling to change or you know and that's a big dose of self-awareness.

If you look at it, and go none of this is true Mmm, I would reconsider but if you're willing to look at it and just say ” How do I communicate?” How do others communicate? How do they perceive me and how do I perceive them? I think that's a very big practical, pragmatic step towards some self-awareness.

Stephanie Goss: Well, and it’s a tool that looks at communication behaviors. It's not a personality assessment. So, it's not, it's a thing you can, it's a thing you can change, right? It's about specific behaviors that, that you absolutely can make actionable change on. And so it doesn't label someone in the way of oh, this is just my personality. I can't change it.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. The other resource that I would give is VLE, the Veterinary Leadership Experience.

It's a, like a week-long kind of summer camp. I think it's in June. It is, yeah, it's kind of a, I don't want to sell it short or say in a different way. It's a leadership training experience, but it's kind of like an outward bound type of program.

I mean, it's outdoors. It's a lot about resilience. It's a lot about sort of self-awareness. It's a lot about empathy. It's, sort of working together, stripping away a lot of the, you know, the, practical vet medicine parts to focus on the human parts the interactive parts and if people have never done anything like that it can be really eye opening to see people deeply and to see and see how you're perceived and to see and hear how you know how your actions impact other people. And so anyway, it is a um, it can be a life changing experience for people. So anyway, but if that's something if you've never heard of it, or you should definitely look at it I have a hundred percent seen teams talk, practice owners, medical directors, managers into going to something like this.

And then be really happy with sort of the experience those people had and how they start to look at, the team a little differently coming out of it. So anyway, DISC and then VLE, the Veterinary Leadership Experience. Those are just sort of two resources that come to my mind.

Um, if people want to invest, yeah.

Stephanie Goss: Those are great we'll drop links in the show notes for both of those for everybody. So they're in there and you can check it out if you've not heard or used either of those tools. This was kind of fun. I'm going to be curious to see how without the examples, how helpful people thought that this was, but I thought we got into some good ones.

I'm, I had a lot of fun. This was, great.

Dr. Andy Roark: Absolutely. Well, thanks for being here, everybody.

Stephanie Goss: Have a great week.

And that's a wrap on another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. Thanks for joining us and spending your week with us. If you enjoyed this week's episode, head over to wherever you get your podcasts and leave us a review. It's the best way to let us know that you love listening. We'll see you next time.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Training

Jan 24 2024

How the Heck Do I Make Them Feel Appreciated… And Say Thank You?!

This week on the podcast, Dr. Andy Roark and practice management super geek, Stephanie Goss are talking about love. Love languages that is. We received an email in the mailbag from a practice owner who loves their team. They have tried acknowledging the hard working individuals in a variety of ways from bonuses to holiday gifts to celebrating during tech week and behind. They feel like nothing they have tried seems to be truly appreciated by the team and they are wondering what they are doing wrong. They want the team to not only know their value but feel it and they are reaching out for some help and advice figuring out how to solve this problem. Andy and Stephanie walk through headspace around the unique position as a practice owner in this scenario and talk through how to recognize what team members value and how they like to receive appreciation in their own love language. Let's get into this…

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 270 – How The Heck Do I Make Them Feel Appreciated… And Say Thank You !

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag


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The Languages of Appreciation at Work

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An Uncharted Leadership Essentials Certificate provides you with seven crucial building blocks to lead with confidence at any level and achieve excellence in your veterinary practice. 

This new Certificate program offers 8 hours of CE in an on-demand format that will equip veterinary professionals to lead high-performing and collaborative teams. Our Uncharted members get special access included in their membership so there has never been a better time to join the community than right now!


Episode Transcript

Stephanie Goss: Hey, everybody. I am Stephanie Goss, and this is another episode of the Uncharted Podcast. This week on the podcast, Andy and I are jumping into an email that we got through the mailbag from a practice owner who is struggling with feeling like everything that they do for their team to show them appreciation and get them to recognize how valued they truly are to them is going unappreciated.

And they're wondering, “what the heck do I do about these feelings that I'm having?” This one is a fun one. Let's get into it.

Announcer: And now, the Uncharted Podcast!

Dr. Andy Roark: And we are back. It's me, Dr. Andy Wroark… Roark! Work? We’re already struggling.

Stephanie Goss: Already on the struggle bus.

Dr. Andy Roark: Hi, my name is Andy Roark, and I am here with the one and only Stephanie, put-some-respect-on-my-check, Goss.

Stephanie Goss: But how do you spell Roark? That's the important part.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. Yeah, it's a… the number of times that there have been like, posts on my Facebook page that clearly say Dr. Andy Roark and then my name is spelled like wildly in the comment section underneath the post that's got like my name on it is amazing.

Stephanie Goss: It makes me laugh. It makes me laugh every time. 

Dr. Andy Roark: It's two things. it's, there's, and again, talk about pitiful problems. The other thing is people call Uncharted, Unchartered.

Stephanie Goss: Uh Huh. Yes.

Dr. Andy Roark: Roark O Unchartered and then R O U R K E is I get that one a lot. Mickey Rourke the actor, is R O U R K E. So I think that's maybe where that comes from.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. Anyways, Andy Roark,

Dr. Andy Roark: Hello.

Stephanie Goss: with no U and no E, how are you doing?

Dr. Andy Roark: I am, I am, do, oh man!

Stephanie Goss: Now that we've established you actually know your name.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yep. It's just, one, one victory at a time. 

Stephanie Goss: I get it.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, we’re on a…Hey, look..

Stephanie Goss: I was-

Dr. Andy Roark: It’s the holiday break, my kids are home, my wife’s off work.

Stephanie Goss: You don't know your name.

Dr. Andy Roark: There's a lot going on here, lots of excitement.

Stephanie Goss: You have a bad dog.

Dr. Andy Roark: Got a bad dog, got in laws in visiting the house and it's, yeah. Look, let's just get, let's just take it slow and we'll all get through this. I mean the podcast and the holiday.

Stephanie Goss: Oh, yeah, I feel your pain. Having, a name that people put letters into, in fact, when I graduated with my undergraduate degrees my maiden name was a name that no one ever said correctly and could not spell for the life of them. And they have you do the little card where you spell it phonetically.

And I, over the years, I learned exactly how to spell it phonetically so that people could pronounce it. And I spelled it phonetically. And then I had my graduation and I walked across the stage and I was super excited because I was the first person in my family to go to university and my grandparents were there like I was, and I remember going and connecting with my, parents and I was like, where it was just, I think it was just my dad waiting afterwards or maybe just my mom.

And I remember asking whichever one of them was there. where's the rest of my, like, where's my aunt, where's my grandma? And they were like, Oh, we didn't actually hear them say your name and it was getting really hot out here. And so they just, left because I totally walked across the stage and they screwed up my phonetically spelled name so badly that my family didn't even know that it was me walking across the stage and they just left.

Dr. Andy Roark: I guess she's not making it. Alright, maybe next year. 

Stephanie Goss: So I feel you on. I'm having a name that people screw up. Anyways, we're off the rails already.

Dr. Andy Roark: Big news over here.

Stephanie Goss: Oh yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah! I I found us a place to go and do our first ever Leadership Essentials two-day course. And the Leadership Essentials Certificate, live, in person, you, me, Maria Pirita throwing down on May the… 

Stephanie Goss: the 5th and 6th

Dr. Andy Roark: the 5th and 6th in Atlanta, Georgia and it is in this really cool place. I have not gotten to talk to you about it. It is freaking awesome. It's this renovated building in downtown and it's just like big open space beautiful windows. It's got it's got a, it comes with a barista. Are you serious? It's likw… I'm not kidding.

It's going to be bonkers! It's absolutely, it's two, floors so we can break out downstairs if we want to, but everybody's gonna be in the, in, the main floor. Hardwoods, old time brick walls, and, the beautiful storefront, and, it is so cool. It is so, so cool. And anyway, it is going to be, it is an awesome location.

It's near Centennial Park in downtown Atlanta. It's, there's a lot going on. Anyway, you and me and Maria teaching the entire Leadership Essential Certificate in workshop format in two days.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, I'm really excited about this because we haven't talked about it a lot, like we've talked on the podcast about how we had the certificate that we had been working on and it was a big secret and then we, launched it and by the time this episode comes out, we will have had our big debut party at VMX in January, and so we've talked about that, but the piece that we've not really said anything about to this point has been the fact that is always our plan and intention to be able to offer the certificate, asynchronously online.

And it's great, it looks great and it's up it through our partner, NAVC and VetFolio. They've got so that you can do it and so you can do it on your own time. Or, you and I had always said let's, do this and do it out in locations and places where people in local clinics who, might not want to travel for CE or for those newly promoted managers who don't really maybe have a CE budget to go somewhere big, like to be able to come and work with their peers.

And so I am super excited to get in front of people, and hey Atlanta is a great spot. It's before it gets. It's like ungodly hot at that time of year, I think. And so I'm excited about that. And so we might have some people who want to fly in and come join us and that's okay too.

But I'm, super pumped about this. I think it's going to be it's going to be a lot of fun.

Dr. Andy Roark: You don't get much easier places to get to than Atlanta. It's the biggest airport in the world. it is, a pretty darn easy place to get to. And yeah, May in Atlanta is actually pretty, pretty amazing and fantastic. And so anyway, there's that. Yeah, Vetfolio has been an amazing partner.

I was really blown away when I saw their plans at VMX to roll out the certificate and promote it there. And I was just like, are you serious? And they were like, it's really good. We're really excited about it. Like, hey!

Stephanie Goss: So awesome.

Dr. Andy Roark: I knew it was good. We've been working on it for three years. It better be good.

But they were just like, yeah, we're going to talk about this in a big way. And I was like, oh, okay, that sounds, I like that. But they have been, absolutely wonderful. And yeah, I, that's my vision is, you can take it online asynchronously, you can come and see us do it in person, and we'll run you through it in two days, and your brain is going to be absolute oatmeal when we're done.

Stephanie Goss: But in a good way.

Dr. Andy Roark: In a good way, but man, are you gonna get and then we've got some other, I've got one more trick up our sleeves and honestly, by the time this episode comes out, we should have registration open for our members, but we're going to run a virtual live version of this, where you can take it asynchronously means you got, whenever you want to watch it, you can watch a portion of it, and then you're going to get together with one of the cohorts that we have, and we'll run you through the workshop part.

So you can just, whenever you want. Just check it out, and then, bam, come together, and we'll run you through the workshop part and you'll get the interactive part, and working together collaboratively with other people. But that's, our cohort model is what we call it. Maybe, I think it'll probably have a better name, we'll have to figure out a better name than that.

But for right now, that's what we're calling it. But anyway, that's coming. We should actually talk about the mailbag, I think, at this point.

Stephanie Goss: I'm up for that. We've got… 

Dr. Andy Roark: I’m just excited, I'm sorry, I know I'm way off the rails, but I'm like, this, let me tell you! There’s a barista?!

Stephanie Goss: oh, this is, this, I was going to say, this sounds like holiday espresso, Andy, that's happening right now. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Just wait until we're doing workshops with a barista in the room.

Stephanie Goss: Okay.

Dr. Andy Roark: It’s going to be ridiculous.

Stephanie Goss: I have to say, I was in, Greenville, like we just when we're doing this, we just, I just gotten back from Practice Leaders Summit, and your crazy espresso ass wore off on me because I have been dri… I, never drink coffee, because could you imagine me drinking coffee, and yet, since coming back, I have been quite regularly partaking in coffee, and it is a whole new experience.

It is a whole new world.

Dr. Andy Roark: It's Goss at 11. Goss, turned to 11.

Stephanie Goss: I gotta figure out how to turn it down. We have got a great mailbag today that I'm actually really excited about. We've had this, it's interesting because we've had this conversation. In our Uncharted community previously, and this, our writer has nothing to do with our community. And and the conversation was so great, and so I'm excited to have it here on the podcast.

And I've also seen this question asked a lot in some of the practice leadership groups that include practice owners that I'm in online. And we had someone write in who is a practice owner and is really struggling and they're like, I am at my wits end and I need some advice or some thoughts from, you and Andy about how to help team members realize their value to the practice.

And what they mean is they have been struggling because they have been trying to recognize and appreciate their team. They have tried bonuses, they have tried holiday gifts, they do a big to do for tech week, they celebrate people when they have anniversaries and birthdays and all of the things. And they are in this place where they feel like everything that they are doing above and beyond as an employer to appreciate the team and make them feel valued is unappreciated.

And they are really struggling because they care about their team. They want them to feel valued and they want them to feel like “I love working for this person and in this practice” and they just don't feel that way and they're like, help, what, what am I doing wrong? I'm trying the tricks.

What am I doing wrong here? And I just thought it was… I'm excited to see where we go with this conversation.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah. No, I'm, excited about this. Okay. Let's start with some headspace here. So this is a common, this is a common challenge, and so we're gonna start laying some stuff out. So the first place that I start with headspace is we need to talk a little bit about the hedonic treadmill. And so the hedonic treadmill is the way that our brains are wired so that we get used to our current situation.

We adapt to where we are and that becomes our normal and so the classic example of the hedonic treadmill is; People think that they're gonna be really happy when they win the lottery and all the research shows about three months after you win the lottery you're at the same happiness level that you were before you win that lottery. Another example is, it's like when you get a raise. You're working along and you get a raise and you're like, yeah, I got a raise and a couple of weeks later it's not a raise anymore.

It's just what you make now, and you don't think about it. The happiness that you got, it just goes away, and that's how this works. Now, it also works the other way, where you can get used to working in a crappy place, and you're like, eh, this is, when you first get there, it's awful, and after a while, you just get used to it, and now it's just work.

And, it, isn't a, it is how people are adaptable in that way. We get used to where we are. And I think that basically, here's my take on it is, it's part of natural selection where in the creation of a species. That is meant to be uncomfortable, because being uncomfortable makes us scavenge, spread out, explore, reproduce, do those things.

A comfortable species is an extinct species. So we're, made to be uncomfortable. And the hedonic treadmill just is that if there's something comes along and it's great we just get used to it. The new restaurant is great until we eat it every day, and then it's just lunch.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah.

Dr. Andy Roark: That's Hedonic Treadmill.

Why am I talking about this? I'm talking about it because whenever we do things for recognition and appreciation, the Hedonic Treadmill works against us if we're the, if we're the employer trying to recognize our people. Because the first time you have bagel breakfast… or Friday lunch, everybody's this is amazing!

And then you do it every week. And three months in, people are like, Oh yeah, we have bagels for breakfast on Friday. It's just what we do.

And you don't get thank you notes after the third month. That doesn't happen. People don't even mention it. It's just, they expect it to be there. And, heaven help you if it's not there and they show up and they don't have breakfast because they thought you were going to have bagel breakfast and it's not around. 

And so that's the hedonic treadmill. And I think that is a big part of why people feel this way or why they struggle with appreciation. I see the most… it's not the most common, but it's one of the biggest ones I think is I see this around holiday bonuses. When people will give holiday bonuses, and they're like, “ah ha guys, holiday bonuses!” The first year, people lose their mind, and the second year, some of the people lose their mind, and then, after that, there will always be people who say thank you. They will always, there were some people who always say thank you, and those are wonderful people.

Other people, it's not that they're not grateful, it's just, you know, it's not a new thing, they were thinking that they would get a bonus, and they got it. The other thing is, the other thing is when we do holiday bonuses, we say, hey, this is for your hard work, and they're oh, so I earned this.

And you're like, yeah kind of, but also I'm being generous. And then you're like, “are you being generous or did I earn this?”

And so, so now we're starting to get into those. But hey, that's my opening position on why we end up in a place where people. Do things for the staff and they feel like the appreciation return on investment goes down over time.

That's the hedonic treadmill. That's just things becoming the norm and not something that staggers them the way that it did the first time it happened.

Stephanie Goss: I, agree 100 percent with that. I'm glad you brought up the, bonus thing cause it's funny cause when we're recording this is near the holidays and there has been a lot of that. This question being asked in that exact same frame from practice owners, which is “I feel like I, I was so excited and so happy to give everybody this bonus and nobody said thank you.”

And when you dive into the conversation and the comments and people are like, “is this the first time that they got a bonus or is this a…”, and it's like you said, after it happens, it becomes the expectation. And so you're still looking at it as, “I'm really excited and this” is an, like you are, like, let me just pause for a second from a headspace perspective, recognize you as an owner and as a leader of a practice you are rewarding your team, and you are doing a good thing. And in the face of the lack of response, it can be really easy to feel like, what am I doing wrong? There's a lot of conversation about, my team is just ungrateful, and all of that. And I think it's really important to get into a good, headspace around it and recognize that when you do, when the thing happens, like, you said putting it into the idea of the hedonic treadmill, like that excitement goes away after a while.

Dr. Andy Roark: There's the other part too about what people react to. People react to the difference between what they get and what they expect to get. And so for instance, my wife is beautiful. She's beautiful. And, I have been married to her for 20 years. And when she walks into the room, I rarely stop and say, “My God, you're beautiful.”

I do sometimes, but I rarely do that. And the reason is because she's beautiful all the time. She's always beautiful. And, I guess the reason I'm saying this is because that condition still exists, but we just don't mention it if there's a long way to go to get to that point. We just don't mention it. The point is also being your staff can feel happy and appreciated and you give them a bonus and they go, thank you.

And they go on. The fact that they didn't jump up and down doesn't mean that they don't feel appreciated. They already felt appreciated before you did the thing. And it's you can't judge how people feel always by their reaction.

Stephanie Goss: mhm 

Dr. Andy Roark: The first time my wife said, “I love you” to me, it had an impact on me that it doesn't have when she says “I love you” today after we've been married for 20 years.

It's just, oh, I know. I got it.

Stephanie Goss: Bet you're gonna, bet you're going to tell Alli she's beautiful tonight though.

Dr. Andy Roark: But I'm gonna tell her, “Hey, I told a few ten thousand people…

Stephanie Goss: Yeah, I told the world.

Dr. Andy Roark: That you were beautiful the other day.” Anyway, I don't want to drift, I don't want this metaphor to drift too far apart, other than to say, that's my point here. A lot of times people are like, I gave them bonuses, and they said thank you, and they went on, and I was like, that doesn't mean they're not happy.

That doesn't mean they don't appreciate you, or don't feel appreciated. They, it's very possible that they're happy in their job, and they feel appreciated, and this is another thing that you do, and it's one of the reasons they feel appreciated. They weren't moved to tears by it, because they're used to being appreciated, and that's not bad, but I think a lot of people put this weight on the reaction, and I will tease people or something, and they'll be like, “You know, we did this ice cream luncheon for the staff, and one person said thank you,” and I'm like, “what did you want, a parade? Did you want a celebration?” And they go, oh, “No, I didn't, I just wanted to know that it worked” and, I do get that, and I'm not trying to be a jerk I think we'll get into, we'll get into headspace, but when we get into headspace, a lot of it is about trying to understand, what are you trying to accomplish?

What are you trying to do here? I think we end up in this mindset where it's I'm going to do something nice for my team and judge, how well it went by how nice the things are they say to me after it happened. And I'm like, did you do it so they would say nice things to you? And they say, of course not. And I go, okay, let's, hold on to that for a second.

Stephanie Goss: Cause why is that your measurement of success? 

Dr. Andy Roark: And I think that, that's gotta, that's gotta be it is how are we measuring success? It's always great to give people a gift and blow their mind and they gush about it and they write you a thank you letter and honestly? I will tell you if you want people to give you nice gifts, writing thank you letters and gushing is a good way to help continue to have that happen.

I, that's what I've taught my kids, and so that's just a life hack that you should file away. But it's not why we're trying to appreciate our people. And I think that in that comes peace. And we'll talk about it when we get into action steps, but the basic thing for me, I think is in headspace, when it comes to appreciating our staff, one, it's a journey, not a destination, right?

It is a continuous process. You, I don't think that you want to roll up and do one really nice thing for your staff a year and shock them to their core. I don't think that's where you want to be. I think you want to continuously roll along doing nice things for your staff and telling them they're appreciated.

So that they become like the spouse when you say, I love you and they go, yeah, I know. I think you want to, you want that to be a steady state. And not something shocking. So appreciation is a journey. It's not a destination. And a lot of people are like, I need to get my team appreciated. And then I'm done.

And I can mark it off my to do list. It's just, it doesn't work that way. And then the other part is, I think that we should realize that appreciation is something you should do because you want to do it. And if you can get your head into that place, everything else will take care of itself, in my experience.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Yes, and I, would agree with that. I, think a big part of it is taking a step back and it's, hard because there's often a lot of feels. When you are the practice owner, having been in these shoes and like when you are the person who's paying everybody's paychecks, and you go above and beyond and do something, and you feel like you're not sure whether they appreciated it, or you don't know how it went, or your measurement of success, it didn't live up to that.

It's really hard to step back from the emotions that you might be feeling, and it's really, important to do it. It may take you some time, it may take some space, but figure out how to step back, because it is, absolutely crucial as a leader to get to a healthy headspace about how to appreciate the team.

Because it has to be because you want to do it, not because you have to. Because if you feel like you have to, it will always breed resentment for you and also eventually will breed resentment for your team. Because they will not be blind to the way that you are reacting for their lack of reaction or, lack of energy with the reaction or not feeling like there's enough thank yous, like that is the thing.

And when I talk to a lot of practice owners, a lot of them are stuck in this place where they feel like this is the thing that they have to do. Especially like when it comes to this conversation comes up a lot when it comes to like holiday bonuses, but also celebrating tech week or celebrating birthdays and anniversaries.

And, we, talk on the podcast about how comparison is the thief of joy. And as a manager, I know that to be no more true than when a tech week or any of those come around and all on social media is what seems like these grand displays that everyone else in the world, except for maybe you, is doing.

And the reality is, that is a very limited slice of reality that you're seeing, and you need to remember that. And if you're being motivated to do the things for your team because you feel like you have to. You are never going to get pleasure out of the scenario. You're always going to be disappointed.

And so you should just stop, you should just stop while you're ahead. And to your point about it being a constant state. I don't want to work for somebody who doesn't want to make me feel appreciated. Like I want to work for someone who makes me feel like they like having me as an employee and that I'm a part of their team.

And so I think it's really important to just find your zen and to your point, do it because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.

Dr. Andy Roark: Looking at Tech Week stuff on social media is kind of like if you believed car commercials around the holiday where they're like, yeah, “Lots of people get Lexus' with a bow on them” 

Stephanie Goss: Right.

Dr. Andy Roark: And really that's a thing? And a lot of people, “sure super normal” It's it feels like that because there's some people who go hard in the paint and that's great but it's I you know, I it's I don't think it's healthy.

So so here's… knowing about the hedonic treadmill. I think a lot of people fall into this trap where hedonic treadmill in focus. They're like, great I'm gonna do tech week. I'm gonna do holidays. I'm gonna do a Valentine's thing and we'll do something in the summer and then we're gonna put it on repeat and we will continue to run it and it's the putting it on the repeat that sucks the life out of it from an appreciation standpoint.

Stephanie Goss: Yes. Because it's expected. 

Dr. Andy Roark: That doesn't mean you shouldn't, that doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate Tech Week every year if that's what you want to do. But people are going to stop gushing about it and at some point it will just become expected.

Stephanie Goss: It's tech week, when are we having our, when are we having our lunch?

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, exactly. It's that's exactly it.

And so, that's the problem. And again, part of this for me is I think the answer for a lot of this, unfortunately, is you can't put it on autopilot. 

Like you, you have to engage. And that doesn't mean that you, the practice owner, necessarily have to do it. You don't have to be the one who engages.

You can empower your manager, or doctor, or someone. There are some people who are like, I love coming up with fun things for the staff, and stuff that's nice for them. And it's if you love it, it's not a strong suit of mine. This is not my language of love or appreciation. this is not a strong suit for This is hard for me.

And there are other people who are like, I am happy to plan the cookout or to come up with some ideas of things that we can do, put me in the game coach, and so you can, absolutely delegate that stuff. The other thing that I would say is. I think from a strategic standpoint, it makes a lot of sense to pay attention to what you're trying to accomplish.

What do you actually appreciate your staff for? Is it just showing up, punching in, and fogging a mirror? Is that what we're talking about? Or, are they actually doing things? And if they're doing things, you should target those things and have appreciation around those things. Even if it's just a handwritten note.

Which, by the way underrated as far as the value, but what are they doing that you appreciate? And you're like, I don't know, they just work hard. And I'm like, you're not trying hard enough. If you're just like, I don't know, they just, I don't know. They continue to show up for work. I'm like, ah, that's, there's, if there's not more than that, we're in trouble.

Stephanie Goss: I love that you said that because, and I'm sorry that I cut you off, the ultimate example of that is, is the Christmas bonus. Because so many people look at it and they're like, they worked hard, so hard all year and I just, I want to celebrate them. And, how crappy does it feel, to work so hard all year and then not get a Christmas bonus? It's like you've told them that is the reward for working so hard all year. And then if they work hard all year, but the business has maybe had a bad year and you can't financially afford to give them a Christmas bonus, are they wrong to then think, maybe we didn't work hard enough this year.

You know what I mean? If that's the reason that you've set right, or to feel let down. And so I think it's, I think it's really unhealthy. And so I think certainly we're, going to, I think, dive into this in action steps, but I think it's really important to, to figure out what is motivating you and tie that to what's motivating your team as well.

Dr. Andy Roark: The quintessential appreciation program for me is the Employee of the Month program. It's the Employee of the Month program, which I've seen implemented so many times. And it always goes exactly the same way. They're like, let's appreciate the staff. And the first month is a big honor because it's the first Employee of the Month award.

And by the eighth month or the twelfth month or the sixteenth month, it's pretty obvious you're going through the list and being like, who hasn't gotten this yet? And it's just a thing. I've just not seen it be, it is!

Stephanie Goss: Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard because as a parent, that's how I felt about the student of the month awards at the kid’s school.

Dr. Andy Roark: It is the student of month award! is! Who has not set the building on fire or shanked somebody? Let's that kid up because it's her turn, that's what the employee of the month program. It just naturally turns into that and I'm not dunking on anybody's program. I've seen it done really I've seen it done with nice pictures and like fun facts about the person and like I've seen that but at some point like when everyone in the building has gotten the award it loses its luster and again, I could see you making it work. If you were like here specifically is why this person is being recognized.

I am a big fan of the Uncharted Employee of the Month Award.

(Laughter)

Stephanie Goss: Stop it.

Dr. Andy Roark: Which I give to myself 99 percent of the time. We have Uncharted Employee of the Month Award, I have received it almost every time it's been given except for like twice.

Stephanie Goss: I cannot believe you're actually talking about this.

Dr. Andy Roark: I, it's, a, genius in modern motivation. Is the Employee of the Month award that you only give to yourself.

And then, when you, but when you do give it to one of your employees, everybody's like “What?! That's amazing!” And that's how I think Employee of the Month programs should go.

Stephanie Goss: Oh, I can't. I can't. I think that this is a good place for us to take a break.

Dr. Andy Roark: Okay? You can ask me questions about my leadership philosophy. Or why you, Stephanie Goss, have never been Employee of the Month?

Stephanie Goss: I have, yeah, I was going to say, just so you all know, I have not. The only person on our team who has actually been Employee of the Month, besides Andy and besides Skipper Roark, who doesn't really count, is Tyler Grogan. So clearly the message is that only Tyler Grogan is the only one out of all of us who is capable of motivating Andy to take his own face off of the wall and put somebody else's face up.

Dr. Andy Roark: I think Maria Pirita is getting it in December. I think Maria Pirita is getting it. She was a force of nature at the Practice Leaders Summit. She has just done so much. And it's also her birthday month. And so I'm like, maybe it's time. Let's take a break.

Stephanie Goss: It's finally here! That's right. Our very first Uncharted Certificate. What's that, Stephanie? Well, I'm glad you asked. See, Andy and I had a conversation along with some members of the Uncharted team where we were wondering, what skills does a leader have to have? And we talked about the fact that as leader, you have the ability to shape your team's culture.

And there are some very specific skills that are needed, and unfortunately, those kind of skills are most often not taught to us. And so we sat down and outlined seven of the crucial building block skills that any leader should have, and we are putting it out into the world with our, in partnership with our friends at NAVC and VETFOLIO.

We have launched the certificate through VETFOLIO's platform. So it is seven workshops. That are all broken out into modules. We start with talking about building trust and relationships, how to set a vision for a team, and even more granular, how to figure out what your core values are as a human, as a smaller team within a bigger team, and as a practice as a whole, and then how to use.

those core values to make decisions, to communicate, to really run your practice as a well oiled in sync team. We talk about communication styles and using disc as a tool for how you communicate better and more effectively as a team. We talk about how to give feedback, how to do coaching, and that applies whether you're someone's.

positional boss or not. We have to talk to each other as human beings in practice. And so we dive into how do we do that and how do we do it in a way that feels less scary than it might feel to some of us. We talk about how to get team buy in, how to get everybody excited about ideas and initiatives in our practice.

We talk about how to set priorities and then how to achieve those priorities and get stuff done. I am thrilled that this is now available for all of you and there's much more where this came from. So head on over to unchartedvet.com/certificates. That's right. Certificate with an S at the end and check out the leadership essentials course.

You can get the link from there to that folio. You can buy one piece, you can buy all seven and get the certificate as a whole, but either way we are. So excited. And now back to the podcast!

Dr. Andy Roark: Alright. Let's actually land this ship. 

Stephanie Goss: Yes, let's, action step this because I think that there's some, there are some really important pieces that are worth talking about here.

Dr. Andy Roark: Okay. Here we go. For me, action step number one is decide what you're trying to do. What is the point? What are we trying to celebrate? Are we trying to make them feel a certain way? Are we trying to make their, time in our clinic happier, better? Are we trying to, I don't know.

Are we trying to, professionally develop them? Are we trying to invest back into them? What are we trying to do? And if you can answer that question and say, this is what I'm trying to do and I am willing to spend the money and spend the resources to try to do this thing, then you're putting yourself into a good place where if you don't get a response from them, you shouldn't feel bad.

You said you wanted to do this, you wanted to give them a bonus, and you gave them a bonus. And, your desire to give them a bonus should not be contingent on whether or not they say thank you, or write you a card, or do anything, because you decided, I want to do this. And I have just found, in life, if you can choose to do what you want to do, and say, I'm doing this because I want to do it and the reaction of others is not what I care about.

You will be a happier person. If you do something for the team and you say, I want this to I want to do something really fun for them And then you do it and then you don't get the impression. They had fun. Don't do that thing again.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. I, love that. I almost said I want to take it back a step before that, but I think that getting your head wrapped around why you're doing it is the, is totally the, first step. And then I think. I really strongly advocate for the second step being to your point, because you, talked about why are you doing it and why do you what are you going to put energy and budget and things behind it.

And I think that ties to the, second step for me, which is to recognize that acknowledging and rewarding your team saying thank you, appreciating them does not necessarily cost money. 

Andy Roark: Yes. 

Stephanie Goss: And I think for a lot of us as leaders, the first place our head goes to is I have to, give a gift. Whether it's a gift of an experience, like I'm going to take them all to the zoo, or I'm going to take them all out to a nice dinner, or a gift of money, I'm going to give them a bonus, I'm going to buy them food, whatever it is, the first place that our mind goes to is gift giving and doing something for them that is tangible.

And I think the second step for me is that you have to, if you are a leader, you have to put some time for yourself and your own professional development into understanding the languages of appreciation, because it should be a game changer for you. And it's really funny because I've talked to so many leaders and practice owners who are like, there's five steps.

Like, how hard could it be? I don't need to read the book. I don't need to, I don't need to spend time thinking about that. And I absolutely challenge bullshit on that because I'm going to lay down, I'm going to lay down, I'm going to lay this smack down. We're going to go camp tough love right now because the reality is, especially when it comes to tangible gifts, only 6 percent of the workforce actually prefers having gifts as their language of appreciation.

And that's where we get it wrong. So many of us, myself included, it was like, I want to do things to make the team feel appreciated. I'm going to buy them things. I'm going to buy them food. That's where the pizza party idea comes in. Let me take care of them. Let me buy them something. I'm going to hit up, the act of service along with the tangible gifts and I'm going to give them a pizza party, but it's bullshit because that's not how most people feel appreciated. And so for me, step number two is to figure out about the languages of appreciation and what it is for your team. Because, truly showing appreciation, truly making people feel valued, that's personal. 

That is, it has to be. And that's why when you give everybody on your team a bonus, you don't get more thank yous.

Cause if everybody knows that everybody on the team is getting $50. How does that make me feel like I'm any different than anybody else on the team? But if I get $50 with a handwritten note from you, that tells me why you enjoy working with me and why you're so happy to have me on the team, I'm going to be more inclined to show gratitude to you because I recognize why you're appreciating me with a gift.

Even though the gift, the money, the reward is not my love language. I'm going to be more inclined to say thank you to you because it matters. It's personal.

Dr. Andy Roark: There's so much to unpack there. You touched on feelings that, that I've seen, usually around the holidays, is this idea of have you ever felt the obligation of gift giving when you're like, I don't want to participate this.

But I am locked in like I'm doing it.” I feel like that can happen, not just always, but it can happen with team appreciation where you're like, I feel like I have to do this and I don't enjoy it and I don't like it and it doesn't really mean anything for me. I'm doing this because I have to do it. And then the people who are receiving it, they know that too, and they get that vibe. And the whole thing is this craptastic thing that you feel like you're chained to. And so I think you're really hitting on that. I mentioned it in the first half of the show, but I'll come back again.

I really think that the handwritten note, especially if it's, got to be personalized. It has to be “Stephanie Goss, Let me tell you what I admire about you or the thing that I most appreciate about you and then you write it out. It doesn't have to cost money. It really doesn't.

It has to show appreciation for that person. And it is hard to do something to show a whole team appreciation. A lot of it really is, it's doing something, but then it's also what you do inside of that thing. Do you go around and shake everybody's hand and tell them, what you're thankful for or how, or, a time that you remember seeing them live up to our values as a team or a time that you were really proud to work with them.

Because if you go, if you have a pizza lunch and you walk and talk to every person and shake their hand and tell them that, and it's different for every person because it's honest and true. I bet you'll make people cry at pizza lunch. I think that will be something that really matters, but it's not about, it's not about that.

The reason that people, again, the reason that people laugh about the pizza lunch is just it became this turnkey, cheapest food we can buy, everybody eats, feel appreciated now. And you go, I, this, any personality to it just got, long sucked away I think that's a big part of it. You know the other thing is you talk about knowing your people and we joking about the Employee of the Month program.

If I gave you, Stephanie Goss, the Employee of the Month award on stage at the Uncharted conference in front of an audience, you would kill me.

You would absolutely hate it. You would be so angry that I did it. Because you don't like that type of display.

Stephanie Goss: He, he has, I, wouldn't kill you because you have done it to me twice and I have survived, you and I have both survived both times, but you're not wrong. There would be a strong reaction from me because that is not my language of appreciation.

Dr. Andy Roark: If I gave it to Maria, she would curtsy, she would pose, she would take, she would have photo ops with it, like, she'd, she'd be all about it, because she loves it, she would light up and glow with it. It's just, that's the difference in individual people, and the way that I would recognize one and the way I recognize the other is not, the same.

Now, people say, but Andy there is nothing I can do that all 27 of my employees or 35 of my employees are all going to like I would say, that is true. And, you can't be all things to all people, but my advice is to mix it up and make sure you're doing different things so that different people's needs get met and different people get seen.

And it's, it will be that somebody will say, Stephanie Goss will say, this thing we did in February really was special and wonderful and Maria Prita will say at the end of the year the holiday thing that we did was really magical. I loved it that there were just different things and they're going to resonate differently with different people and that's okay.

But that's also why you can't lock it in and say, w’e do a barbecue, like we do a cookout, and that's what we do.” Because some people, that's not what, that's not what they want. They don't want to come in on Sunday afternoon and grill meat. They're vegan or whatever. 

Stephanie Goss: Yes. I think you hit it right, the nail right on the head because I think the place where I was able as a leader to find the Zen is to step back and look at both the team and the year as a wheel and stop looking at as if I just give them an amazing tech week, then every single one of my techs is going to feel appreciated.

It's bullshit. It's never going to happen because you have too many, especially when you have a bigger practice. If you have a hundred of them. You're never going to do anything that's going to make all one hundred of them happy. You might be able to, when you have two of them, do something that feels individual enough and makes them both feel special.

But if you look at it over the course of time and say, the thing that I choose to do for Tech Week might not, make Jamie and Tyler and Ron happy, but by the end of the year, I've done three different things to hit along each one of them, like you said, then everyone is going to find their place.

And so I think, but I think as leaders, it is so easy to look at what everybody else is doing and be like, “Oh, this is a box that I should check.” And to your point earlier in the episode, It's a one and done, if I just find that thing and I do that thing for the holidays or I do that thing for tech week, then everybody else is going to be happy and I've checked that box and I can move on.

And I think the action step for me is looking at it more like a cycle and recognizing that it's going to be a thing that you have to, nurture it, you have to grow it. It takes time and you have to be intentional about that. And it, and I really found peace when I stepped back from that and realized not everybody's going to be happy when I bring in, ice cream on a hot summer day. And I'm okay with that, because if I don't get a thank you from them for that, I can look at them as a person and say, “Oh, but you know what? If Sarah at my front desk likes spending time together, Sarah might be just as happy if I said, Hey, you want to come with me to get ice cream for everybody else?”

And we spend 15 minutes in the car talking to one another. And she doesn't care that we got ice cream and she doesn't eat ice cream because. She's vegan. She cares that we spent, 15 minutes in the car together because that's her love language. So I think it's, I think it's really important to look at it from, that perspective about making it individual and making it a cycle.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah, I completely agree. I think that's pretty much, that's pretty much what I got. I hope we reframe the issue a little bit. It's just a super common thing. It, to me, it really comes down to the headspace you can get yourself into. You have to keep in focus. What are you trying to accomplish?

And not get sucked into, how did my team react to it? And that doesn't mean ignore them because if they don't. If they're not having a good time, I want to know but if you can decide, if you can really think about, like why do I appreciate these people and how do I communicate that to them?

And, what am I going to do so that I feel good having done it, even if no one says thank you. I'm still glad I did it because I wanted to do it. If you can get those two things straight in your head, I think you'll be, I think you'll be fine. And then the third one I would say is, remember, this is a never-ending process.

It is not a checkbox and you're done. It is a ongoing process of having employees and having a team and maintaining a good culture is you have to keep turning the wheel. You just, you do, and turn it different ways and do different things, but it's got to keep going. You can't set it and forget it.

Stephanie Goss: Yeah. And I think the, last thing, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna lift lift the covers and show a little bit of the boring side, really of, managing and running a hospital and I throw both of us under the bus here. Like you and I are both squirrels and can get excited by shiny objects.

Dr. Andy Roark: Gonna lift the covers and squirrel…

Stephanie Goss: Stop it. Stop it. Here's the thing, especially if you have a big team, this is something you have to nurture and grow. And it's okay to make yourself a list and know who your people are. I'm not going to remember what all, I might, but I, you're not going to remember when you have a hundred of them, I probably can't remember a hundred of their favorite colors.

Or what their favorite food is, and it's okay to systematize it. And, the reason I want to talk about this is because I've had this conversation with so many managers that are like, “Oh, that makes it boring and not unique.” No, it's, that's bullshit. I can make it unique for each one of them because I have a system.

And so if you are someone who is like, oh, that's I want it to be a checkbox in one and done, like start with getting to know your people and then, keep track of that knowledge and, I'll give you, I'll give you an example. You and I just celebrate, we got to celebrate our birthdays together this year, which was, meant a lot to me.

And we did something different for your birthday and my birthday and I think we I was very touched because you got me a book for my birthday, and that hit on two very important pieces of my love language. One, because I love to read and you know that. And two, because it was very personal.

You found something that you thought that I would like, and you wrote me a note and Andy also knows. that while I don't like public praise, the written word of affirmation is really powerful for me. And so it was really, truly intentional. And I'm okay with knowing the fact that you are a squirrel.

And if you didn't have my birthday in your calendar, would you have remembered that it was my, was it my birthday to do something? You wouldn't have. And I wouldn't have been offended by that because I know that about you. And so, I think I'm the same way as a, manager. I felt so bad, am I actually going to plan to do these things for my team?

And how does, doesn't that take away from the intention of it? And I just, want to call that out because I, know I felt that as a And yet I would say that actually is what allowed me to make it more intentionally personal was to develop a system for myself to keep track of those things and it goes back to your reason Of why are you doing it?

Are you doing it to celebrate them as a person to celebrate achievements accomplishments like this system is tied up in all of that But I think it's okay to figure out how you're gonna keep that going.

Dr. Andy Roark: My grandmother used to give great gifts and my mom asked her like, how do you give such great gifts? And she always said, I listen. And I listen as well, and then, I write it down in a Trello board that I have. But it was funny, Allison was talking just this year in the holidays, and she was like, your gift game is really strong.

And it is really strong, because I have a system, I, I do, I have a Trello board with different columns for different people, and I, when people say things, I drop it in there, and then when I see things, I'll take pictures of it, and be like, oh, this person might like this, and it's not perfect, but compared to flighty Andy of the past, who ended up on Christmas Eve at Target, buying whatever crap was left over, I have come a long way, you I have come a long way. I have come a long way.

Stephanie Goss: Yes, same! This is why you and I are such good friends, because I've been there. Christmas Eve, Target, it's the worst.

Dr. Andy Roark: Yeah.

Stephanie Goss: Okay, so just to recap, because we wandered, a lot I think action steps wise, it seems so simple, but I really do think that it's that simple.

I think you said decide what you're trying to do, like why are you doing this? And then knowing your team, and knowing how they truly want to be appreciated, and it really, and then being okay with the fact that you can have a system, but I think that those things, as simple as they sound, like 20 plus years of experience managing a hospital, That's how I found Zen as a manager and got rid of any feelings that I might have, including resentment around the fact that I didn't feel like they were appreciating my appreciation of them.

And so I, I think that's, I think that's where you got to start and make it, you can make it fun, have fun with it. Like you should be doing it because you want to do it, not because you feel like you have to, or someone else is doing it so you should do.

Dr. Andy Roark: I completely agree. Alright, that's it. That's all I got.

Stephanie Goss: All right. Have a great week, everybody.

Dr. Andy Roark: Thanks, everybody. Take care.

Stephanie Goss: And that's a wrap on another episode of the podcast. Thanks for coming along with Andy and I on today's kind of crazy ride. We appreciate you. And if you are interested in coming along another crazy ride with us and you want to find out more about it, our brand new Leadership Essentials certificate that we just launched either the asynchronous version where you do it on your own through our partners, Vetfolio and their online learning management system, whether you want to come and do the certificate in person and live with our team, or whether you're looking for an option that fits somewhere in the middle head on over to UnchartedVet.com/CERTIFICATES. That's certificate with an S at the end to find out all of the information about the certificate as it becomes available. Take care, everyone. Talk to you next time. 

Dr. Andy Roark: Stephanie's still laughing. Stephanie's still laughing.

Stephanie Goss: This episode was off the rails before we even started.

Dr. Andy Roark: Oh, yeah. I didn't even my name right to start the episode.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Vet Tech

Jan 22 2024

Top Tricks For Talking Money With Clients

In this week's episode, Dr. Andy Roark is joined by Adam Christman and Louise Dunn to discuss their favorite tips for handling financial conversations. Together they tackle some of the common challenges we face as veterinary professionals and offer various resources to make sure we're keeping care accessible. They both offer insight into effective team training as well as the importance of creating a special veterinary experience for your clients. Let's get into this episode!

Uncharted Veterinary Podcast · UVP – 269 – Top Tricks For Talking Money With Clients

You can also listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode is brought to you by CareCredit! This information is shared solely for your convenience. All statements are the sole opinions of Uncharted Veterinary Podcast, and neither Synchrony nor its affiliates, including CareCredit, make any representations or warranties regarding the content.

Do you have something that you would love Andy and Stephanie to roleplay on the podcast – a situation where you would love some examples of what someone else would say and how they would say it? If so, send us a message through the mailbag! We want to hear your challenges and would love to feature your scenario on the podcast.

Submit your questions here: unchartedvet.com/mailbag

RESOURCE LINKS

AAHA Article on Pet To Care Study

CareCredit Tip Sheet

Pet Health Finder

Pawlicy Advisor

Pet's Best Resources

ABOUT OUR GUESTS

Louise Dunn is a renowned award-winning international speaker, writer and consultant. She brings over 40 years of in the trenches experience and her business education to veterinary management. Louise is founder and CEO of Snowgoose Veterinary Management Consulting. SVMC works with veterinarians who want to develop a strategic plan that consistently produces results. Most recently Louise received many awards including the WVC Educator of the Year numerous times and VetPartner’s The Life Time achievement Award in January 2016.

Besides all aspects of practice management and mentoring, Louise’s passions include her husband Joel, Annabelle her English mastiff Therapy dog and her little sister Afton, kayaking, opera , gardening and New England Patriot’s football.

Adam Christman, DVM, MBA, is the chief veterinary officer for dvm360®—an MJH Life Sciences® company —who oversees content strategy and development and is the brand voice and personality for dvm360®’s multimedia channels. As a charismatic leader, he brings wit, humor, and authenticity to animal health care as the host of a new web-based talk show, dvm360 Live!™, The Vet Blast Podcast, continuing education webinars, and live media broadcasts. Christman also has been in private practice and shelter medicine for 18 years and is currently a member and treasurer of the New Jersey Veterinary Medical Association. He received his DVM degree from Iowa State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine in Ames, Iowa, and his MBA from Aspen University in Denver, Colorado.

Christman is a national thought leader, speaker, and author on practice management, social media, and rehabilitation, and coauthored, “Honey, Have You Squeezed the Dachshund? A Pet Owner’s Guide for Owners Who Are Terrified of IVDD”—a book on dogs with disabilities. He has been featured in multiple publications and appeared on various multimedia shows throughout the United States, sharing his expertise and passion on all things veterinary medicine. As an avid social media influencer for animal health care, he has over 800,000 followers on TikTok and 53,000 followers on Instagram. He loves to engage with fellow pet parents and veterinary professionals across social media. Christman is an advocate of Pride VMC and Pawsibilities. He is also the proud dog dad to 4 dachshunds and believes no one should be deprived of the incredible human-animal bond.


Upcoming Events

All Upcoming Events: unchartedvet.com/upcoming-events/


Episode Transcript

Andy Roark:

Welcome everybody to the Uncharted Veterinary Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Andy Roark. Guys, I got not one but two of my good friends on today. First of all, I have the one and only Louise Dunn. Louise is a dear friend of mine and a practice management consultant and expert. She writes for a ton of publications. She speaks all over the world. She's a genuinely wonderful, very knowledgeable person. And I have Dr. Adam Christman, who you may know from TikTok. He has a huge TikTok, Instagram following. He's also doing a ton of work over at DVM 360. I give them both much more robust introductions when we get started, but they are here with me today and we are talking about communicating with pet owners about price. We are having hard conversations and doing top tricks for talk and money with clients. Guys, this episode is made possible ad-free by CareCredit. Let's get into it.

Announcer:

And now The Uncharted Podcast.

Andy Roark:

Welcome to the podcast Louise Dunn and Dr. Adam Christman. How are you guys?

Louise Dunn:

Well, thank you.

Adam Christman:

Yeah, thanks for having us.

Andy Roark:

Oh man, my pleasure. You guys are some of my favorite people to talk to. I know you all, I know you very differently and so I'm thrilled to have both of you together on the same podcast. This is going to be a bit of a challenge because boy, there's a lot of personality here and it's kind of worlds colliding. So Louis Dunn, you are a guru in the business management vet business management world. You're one of my mentors. You have been since the very beginning. I don't want to get gushy here, but you introduced me to so many people when I was just a vet student and I was enthusiastic and in love with our profession and you are a big reason that I've had the career that I've had because you opened doors for me and you made introductions to me and you convinced people to talk to me when I didn't.

Maybe it wasn't obviously worth their time and I can't tell you how much I owe you, but you're someone that I respect the heck out of. I've had you at a speaker as a speaker at Uncharted. I read your articles and so I think the absolute world of view, Adam Christman, not so much Adam. We met, I think we met at a cocktail party one time. No, lemme tell you about you Adam Christman. You were a fascinating person. You have be friends just the last year or so of working together. You're doing a lot with modern social media. You have a huge TikTok following. Really, I think your work is really interesting in how you talk both the veterinarians and pet owners. And I can tell you as someone who's tried that, it's really challenging and hard to do. I think you do that really well.

You also are the driving force behind the Fetch conferences and DVM 360 I that I've ever in my career, seen someone get an opportunity like you got over there and just absolutely, as someone who makes content for a living, I know how hard it's to continually come up with good ideas and exciting things and interesting things and the amount of work that you have put into Fetch and DVM 360 in the last couple of years and now you've grown and you've, you've got a team around you that's really sort growing and selling, but just you took that opportunity over there and just have really done exceptional things with it. So I just admire both of you so much and I'm so glad to have you guys here.

Adam Christman:

Thank you so much.

Louise Dunn:

Well thank you. Happy to be here.

Adam Christman:

That from Andy Roark. Louise Dunn, my gosh, I'm glad I'm sitting down.

Louise Dunn:

It just shows how old I am.

(Laughter)

Andy Roark:

Well, I wanted to have you guys on today for, I saw that you guys, you were doing a presentation recently on top tricks for talking money with clients and I always like that. I think everybody wants to keep care affordable. Everybody wants to advocate effectively for pets and balancing those things. We're also going into a period where inflation is becoming concern and we're looking at is the economy it strong? Is it not strong? We're going back and forth. The world is changing and I think a lot of affordability and access to care are really important conversations. So I was really intrigued by this and I said, I think the world of both of you, and so I really like just have you guys start to lay this down for us as we start to walk through. So let's just go through this in a tip style format if that's okay.

I'm going to open the floor up. Louise, when I was looking at what you guys have put together and the message you've been bringing out, you seem to open up tips about transparency. Can you talk to me about what that looks like as you start to set up these difficult conversations?

Louise Dunn:

Absolutely. The answer that we seem to have is we don't like to confront yet. We want to give the best quality of care we can. We're in the service business and the service we provide is veterinary medicine. And so what happens is we're not trained. We don't do a good job in what's called axiology. Axiology is the study at the perception of value. So what do we do to help our clients not see sticker shock? We need to be transparent. We need to let them know we're in the service business and the service we provide is veterinary medicine.

And when you have a client that has sticker shock, you're putting them in a situation where they don't know what to do. So you want to start the conversation and just take one step at a time and open up, this is what we're going to do, but we're not going to do anything until we discuss a treatment plan. You're being transparent. In fact, there's some companies that are so transparent, they put prices on their internet, on their website.

Andy Roark:

So Adam, lemme hand that over to you. Real quick. Thoughts on pricing on the internet? I've thought about this a lot and I've seeing different practices doing this. There's real benefit I think in not having people come in and be completely floored about what they're getting into. I think a lot of doctors really grit their teeth and go and if they don't talk to me, they're not going to that. It's worth it. What are thoughts?

Adam Christman:

I agree, Andy. It's interesting because here we're, when I give these customer service lectures, we talk about “how much is it to spay my dog?” And that's a very classic question where you can say, oh, it's $500 and then they hang up. Whereas you want to make it not the experience, not so transactional, but actual. So who am I speaking to on the phone? Oh my gosh, how many weeks old is this new puppy? We're so excited. You're trying to create an experience and then it's like buying a car. Don't really want to, they're not going to give you the $35,000 sticker shock right off the bat. They really want to see what comes with all the bells and whistles. So I agree though. There's got to be a little bit of a fine balance because you need to put everything up on the internet, but maybe some of your high touchpoint items might be good to be transparent about.

Andy Roark:

I like this. Alright, so transparency up first. Where do we go from here?

Adam Christman:

Well, one of the first tips that we usually recommend is to acknowledge all your clients because we have so many different ones that are out there too. So this could be from the client in the exam room to the scrollers like myself. We're always going through our social media feeds and seeing what's out there because there's going to be some Facebook ads or Instagram ads that are going to be in there. And phone shoppers we just previously talked about too. And so how do we go about acknowledging all those clients? And I think Louise and I, we chat about this around the country talking about how you can convert a follower to a client and how can they become your brand loyal clients at the same time. And one of the best ways, just like Louis was saying, is building that trust instantly and being transparent.

So you want to build trust, create value, and you want to get them bonded early on. I always say that 20% of your clients make up for 80% of your revenue. So when you find those cheerleaders that tend to be not just financial cheerleaders but also your brand loyal cheerleaders that will share and cross promote some of your social media content, that's when you have a home run. So it depends on, everyone's got these different financial buckets, but it's just a matter of how we work with them and what's comfortable for their allotment or for their budgets.

Louise Dunn:

Adam, can you unpack for me a little bit, because you do the social media thing, the value of finding your people and your brand, how do you balance that with idea of talking to all of your clients? So it yeah, I'll make it in my head around that. Are people or are we really focused on being inclusive of all pet owners? How do you that in your mind?

Adam Christman:

Thank you for this question. You're the very first person that has asked me this question. I have never been asked this, and I talk about this internally because when you have how many x amount, thousands of followers or whatever, but yet you're going to really focus on your community. But I think we do a service to the profession is really what I always say is we're brand ambassadors to our profession and how well we represent our profession. There's one thing that you'll never see me do and I highly recommend to the listeners out there, I never want you to make fun of clients out there because they notice that, they see that and it's not a good look on our profession. So what do you do? You change the narrative a little bit and you provide education. It can be fun and levity, but then what they're going to do is they're going to try to geotarget and find out where you go.

So many people, followers say, oh my gosh, I wish you were in Pennsylvania. I wish you were out west or whatever. But that's okay because what we do and what I love about this profession is I can find somebody for you too. And so I really stress that. May I not be able to help you in California, but I have clients or I have colleagues that can certainly assist. But what you want to do is you want those people to say, I have a cousin that lives near you in New Jersey. I would love for my sister. She would love to see you. And so that's how you work a little bit on your niche a little bit. You could build your clientele, your community. The second thing that I'll say, my last thing for this is that I do think the power of going live on social media is incredibly powerful and I know it's a vulnerable experience, but I challenge our colleagues out there to do this because people love it.

And you can again, focus on your community within your town out many miles out. You want to market them out. You could certainly do it, but I think there's some added value that you're offering. Again, we're talking about access to care, but also access to education. It's very hard for certain pet to maybe ask very simple questions like, I dunno how to clean my dog's ears a little bit. Can you show me? So by that you're creating this great bond, that word of mouth will spread very fast. So it works nicely if you want to really build your clientele up. I really do recommend it.

Andy Roark:

I like it. So we talked about transparency, we talked about recognizing all clients. What's number three?

Adam Christman:

So tip number three would be coaching the team because it shouldn't just be on, say the practice manager like Louise, it shouldn't be on Dr. Roark or Dr. Christman. We want to make sure that we role play the workflow together. What does this look like? And are we all educated enough to understand the available opportunities that are there for our clients? And what tools are we going to be allowing? So we want to choose tools for the clients and the team that can support cost of care conversations, and we want to integrate that cost of care information into the decision making treatment plans and patient visits. So for instance, if we have a client that says to us, listen, I really wish I can afford this right now, but I dunno, what are the options? Well, we want to make sure that we have provided all the education to our staff and our team to educate them.

For example, maybe your hospital can offer pay overtime options that don't require hard credit. Maybe there's other options like CareCredit for them to consider. And there's options like Variety, VetBilling or Sun that I talked about too. And there's financially friendly clinics that are out there as well that are nonprofit, that offer nonprofit or grant programs. There's a website that I like. It's called pethelpfinder.org. It's got over 4,400 resources listed on that site for available financial offerings. So again, those listeners out there may not even know what I just said about that. So I challenge your team to learn about all the different options that are out there in addition to, of course, pet insurance.

Louise Dunn:

Well, the thing that's really interesting is we think that we know everything and sometimes we underestimate or sometimes we overestimate our clients. One thing that we need to know and we need to make sure our team knows is that in the Path to Care Pet Finding study that was conducted by the Chadwick Bailey on behalf of CareCredit, it said that 52% of pet owners researched the pet's care. 61% of them researched their costs, and 59% of them say the variety of payment options is important. And 52% say finances is important. So it's not just about giving the best training to our team on how to know what catheter to use or what pain medication to use, or what side effects there might be on certain medications. It's helping clients understand and afford what they need to do.

Andy Roark:

Talk to me a little bit about where communications go from here, what we're trying to do, what we're trying to do a training, and so are we free styling? Is every client different? Do we have systems that we try to run people through? Talk to me a little bit about the pet owner as an individual versus trying to build a cohesive system in our practice.

Adam Christman:

Yeah, so that's our next step is providing individualized care. I always say that VIP, everybody's important, Andy, right? Everybody wants to be seen. Yes. So I stands for individualized. It's very individualized, pet parent, very individualized pet. And what does that really mean? So it's not cookie cutter. Everyone knows I'm a dauchs-a-holic. So if I was to walk into a clinic and I have a person that dims the lights and offer me these warms, not a cat parent, but you're doing all these things for cats, that's not for me. That's great. But I would want to make sure that maybe you got ramps ready for me, maybe you got stickers or whatnot. That's going to show dachshunds things that are going to get me excited to really consent to be compliant and follow along with any of these recommendations. So providing that personalized care is so, so crucial in this day and age.

And the other things that we do, simple things that you may not know is DNA testing huge thing is providing individualized care because we want to know not only what they're made up of, but what are genomic sequences. Because what we're finding, what we're practicing in our hospital, we offer and recommend DNA testing early because we're finding that a lot of these pet parents are more likely to get pet insurance. And so that's a really huge thing. We also talk about liquid biopsy testing as they get older too, as pre-cancer screenings or identifying cancer markers and also talking about integrative modalities that could be more specific to certain needs. So for example, the large Great Danes or the large German shepherds or whatnot, they're going to need a little bit more work with maybe rehabilitation and movement versus some of the smaller breed dogs. So I think that's really important, providing individualized care because what we find is the money can go along for the ride. The fact that we're offering really one-on-one ideas, or whether it be get well cards, thank you messages, care packages, sympathy cards, Chewy for instance, does very well with this, making them feel like a VIP. So I think that's a good example. I know Louise talks about the four Rs of personalization. Did you want to share with them what that is?

Louise Dunn:

Yeah, I would. The four Rs are recognize, remember, recommend, and what's relevant. So again, recognize, remember, recommend, and relevant. We need to recognize that you can't always judge a book by its cover. We have to remember what's important. For example, if an animal came in and was euthanized and you didn't have a comfort room and you put them in the examine room two, that client doesn't want to go back in the examine room two. They remember it. But for us, we don't even think about it. When we recommend, we don't give ultimatums. We give ideas, we give recommendations because we're a professional, we're not in the amateur. The definition of a professional is not being an amateur. Every person, whether you're a veterinarian or an animal healthcare team member, you are a healthcare professional. So what you recommend the person is going to listen to. So you want to be relevant.

And when you're relevant, you're able to focus on that particular breed, that particular client, that particular type of communication style, that particular person's emotions at that particular time. If their animal was just injured by a car, hit by a car, their emotions are going to be very high. If you have bad news, tell 'em that their emotions are going to be all over the place. You have to be relevant and stick to the point and keep your eye on the ball. What you're trying to do is put your arms around that client so that you can communicate. They understand what's going on. You've taught your team how to do this and why it's important. So they together with you, can make the decisions that those animals need and deserve. So I love your for to recognize, remember, recommend and relevant. So we've talked about transparency. We've talked about recognizing all clients. We've talked about coaching the team, and we've talked about providing individualized care. What's our fifth and final tip?

The last tip that we're discussing is know what your clients value.

Adam Christman:

How many of us value our pets as their fur babies? I probably would do anything and anything for them. I would give my left arm for them, but not everyone feels that same way. So understanding the value system of pets when they walk in is interesting and it must be respected at the same time. Some pets are considered, pets are property, but humans as a pet owner, there's that fine line that they're saying, I'm just here for the rabies vaccine doc and that's all I want. And we have to be mindful and respectful of that. At the same time, we can always make our recommendations, but there's a fine line between pushing versus making recommendations. And what we also find is that the hierarchy of the roles of the pet pyramid is what we call it, has certainly changed. We know that our Gen Z clients are really celebrating them and going crazy with their birthdays and happy gotcha days and so forth. And they want that same enthusiasm to be reflected at the veterinary hospital that they choose. And if it shows again, they're more willing to pay for certain things and to do certain things. If they see that that enthusiasm is infectious along the team,

Louise Dunn:

Well, I mean, look at what Starbucks has done. You go to Starbucks for your coffee, you pay five bucks for a cup coffee, but you go because you want to get that puppucino. Why do they have puppucino? Is it because they buy too much cool whip and whipped cream? No, it's because they want to have the experience. I'll tell you, if I go to the bank without my pooches or I just go to the night deposit at the bank and it's not open, my pooches are upset because they know when they go bank that they're going to get their milk bones. If I go to the bank and the bank is closed, I get attitude from my English Mastiff. Oh my gosh, why is the bank giving Milkbone? Because it's an experience. Why is Starbucks doing puppucinos? It's an experience.

Adam Christman:

I do want to add Andy too, because in this day and age, it's so different for the vet to be a pet parent. There are hospitals around the country now that are offering step and repeats. They have a whole thing. They have the whole ring light, they have the background, or there are hospital logos in there, like a step and repeat with a red carpet rolled out. There's one hospital in LA that caters specifically to the pet influencers, and they have, I mean, it's like when they're walking in, they have a fake round of applause that's coming..

(laughter)

Andy Roark:

Oh, that's funny.

Adam Christman:

…but they eat this up. So knowing your audience, knowing your clientele, that's clientele is not going to work, obviously, in another area. So knowing that is so important. But I agree, Louise, it's all about having that experience when I went to my bank and the bank teller, I was holding up two of the wheens I'm like “Look at them, check it out!” And I didn't get a biscuit. Do you know, I said something? “Did you not Griswold and Capone right here?” You know? But it's so funny that that's memorable and impressional enough for me to be upset about it. So I love that you share that.

Andy Roark:

Oh man, you guys, thank you so much for being here. I so much enjoy these conversations with you guys. I love thinking about this. I'm going to, I love the step and repeat makes me happy or reminds me of a clinic in LA that I used to know that did this organic lavender bath and it was like a $300 bath that they offered, but it was the clientele that they had and where they were located, it was something that was wildly popular. They couldn't do enough of them. I think that part of understanding who your clients are and recognizing what they value and the experience you're trying to create, I think all of that makes a ton of sense. Before I let you guys go, I always like to collect resources. So Adam, you mentioned pethelpfinder.org. I'll put a link into the show notes about that. What other resources do you guys like? Where should people go to learn more?

Adam Christman:

I like Pawlicy Advisor. I think that's a good one to check out for Pet Insurance Ones and Pets Best Vets is another good one that I like. What about you, Louise?

Louise Dunn:

CareCredit, Of course. So that we're not put in a position of us being the banker, letting them set up credit before they actually need it.

Andy Roark:

Yeah, no, I'll put links to all that stuff down in the show notes. Guys, thanks so much for being here, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. I hope you enjoyed the episode. I hope you got as much to think about as I did from it. Great. Thanks everybody. Take care of yourselves, gang. I'll talk to you later on.

Adam Christman:

Thank you.

Louise Dunn:

Thank you.

Andy Roark:

And that's what I got. That's it. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I hope you got a ton out of it. Thanks to Adam and to Louise for being here. I very much enjoyed them. Gang, take care of yourselves, everybody. Thanks again to CareCredit for making this possible. I got to say that. Be well. I'll see you guys later on. Bye-Bye.

Written by Maria Pirita · Categorized: Blog, Podcast · Tagged: communication, culture, management, Training

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